My pants weren't thrown towards me so I didn't bother to change from Axel's sweatpants, instead I found my now clean socks and put on my shoes, as quickly as I could because Axel was standing by the door watching me with a blank look. It wasn't completely blank- I could tell there was some other emotion being shown but I couldn't get past the watching and frowning. Slowly I walked over to him and he just slowly tipped his head down as I got closer, his eyes staying on mine, I stopped next to him but he didn't start moving- or saying, anything, he just continued to look at me.
"Where're we going?" again I asked, my voice was quiet and I couldn't really lie and say I wasn't nervous because he seemed so… set, on whatever it was he was thinking- but the thing is, he didn't seem all that happy so what he was 'set' on couldn't be much better. Slowly his head started to nod, at first it looked like he was just rocking or something but then he quickly turned around and opened the door, racing down the stairs, he didn't even say goodbye to his foster mom- which I could tell was a no-no. I followed him but at a slower rate, it was just because I wanted to watch him at first, but then my short ass legs couldn't move me faster, Axel stopped at a corner and turned back to look at me.
Quickly I caught my breath, I was huffing a little because I practically had to run to keep up with him, not to mention the cold air on my lungs didn't much help, he raised a brow to me as if to ask if I was okay, I nodded my head and he crossed the road, his hand reached into my hoodie pocket to find my hand and his grip was tighter than I think he meant for it to be. "Ax… where're we going?" of course I knew where we were, this is the same route we take every time to get to my house from his, we were even at the point now where it was how I got back from Rikku's, but still he didn't answer.
"Ax…?" asking again still gave me no answers, I didn't want to push it after that, instead I looked up at the cold sky, the sun was up so I clearly wasn't morning, but it wasn't afternoon yet- somewhere in between. And then I saw the apartment, my mother's beat up car parked out front, I quickly looked to Axel who was still partially in front of me so I couldn't read his face, but he didn't stop walking or even falter for a second. "Ax, wait," my voice was revealing my panic, I didn't know what Axel was doing but we were at the bottom of the stairs and Axel was trying to pull me up them.
He quickly turned around and look at me but I spoke up before he could, "What're you doing?" my face showed my concern but Axel didn't even falter, "I'm gonna give Xemnas a piece of my mind," he quietly said back, and it scared me just as much as if would've if he yelled it. "No," I quickly pulled on his arm because he had turned around to start going up the stairs, he turned back to look at me but was silent, so I continued, "Please don't start anything," I quickly said. Axel's face didn't change in the least, but instead he continued to stare, "Ax… just… come on," weakly I pulled on his arm, trying to get him to walk back down the step he had risen to and for him to just walk back out the doors, but he didn't budge.
"Rox," he was looking at me with that stare and I realized it wasn't blank, it was more like determined, "This has to stop," he spoke slowly like he was trying to calm down a child who had just thrown a tantrum, but out of the two of us- I think I was way more calm. "It's fine, let's just go…" I tried to pull his arm again and to my surprise he actually moved, but not how I wanted him to. He came closer to me, and I felt awful for it- but I flinched when he brought his hands up, he placed his hands on the sides of my face and tipped my head back, he'd also managed to gently push me into the wall, "Roxas…" his voice was quiet even though his face was probably not even an inch from mine, he raised his eyebrows as he spoke like he was trying to get his point across.
"This is going to stop," he said again and I started to shake my head, I mumbled his name, begging him to just walk back with me to his place but he continued talking. "Xemnas needs to get out," no sooner had I got the word, 'but,' out of my mouth had Axel started speaking again, "Of the apartment, of your life… he needs to get out of your head… what he's doing isn't okay Rox," and before I could say anything he turned and ran up the stairs.
I watched him skip steps from my spot leaning against the wall, he pushed the door open and was now gone from my point of view. Axel must have cared… right? That's why he was willing to do this, to show he cared? This couldn't be fake or just my imagination… and then I heard Xemnas shout and I was snapped out of my head and ran up the stairs as fast as I could. Opening the door I looked over to find Xemnas still sitting on the couch, Axel standing in front of him with his back to me, but I watched from the doorway, standing next to the now shut door. Axel shouted at Xemnas and I flinched, I'd never heard Axel's voice sound so angry, Xemnas had a stupid smile on his face.
"You need to stay the hell away from Roxas!" Axel shouted, causing Xemnas to just smile as he said, "And how should I do that? He lives with me," "He lives with his mother! Not you." Axel cut him off, Xemnas' smile turned into a frown when he spoke next, "How could he live with a woman that's never around!" Xemnas stood up and I took a step back and pushed further into the wall, Xemnas continued to shout, "I'm the only one keeping the fucking brat from being on the streets, what the fuck have you done?" Axel was quick to shout a reply, "I haven't fucked with him or his head!" Axel shoved Xemnas back, succeeding in moving the man back a little, "You leave Roxas the fuck alone," "Or what?" Xemnas had that teasing sound in his voice- he wasn't completely angry yet, he was amused and I knew if Axel kept this up Xemnas was going to snap and then things would go bad.
Axel grabbed Xemnas by the collar of his shirt and pulled him close, he hissed something in Xemnas' face but I couldn't hear it, Xemnas did not look happy though. Xemnas pushed Axel back but Axel was the one to yell first, "You touch him one more time!" he was pointing at Xemnas, "And I'll end you!" Xemnas smiled when he replied, "He's mine, I can do whatever the fuck I want with him," that hollow feeling inside me was sloshing around like water- I couldn't tell if this was going better for me or worse. Suddenly Axel grabbed Xemnas by the collar of his shirt and spun him around, charging him into the wall the TV was on, meaning they were no longer in my view, but I could still hear Axel shouting in what I assumed was Xemnas' face.
"Roxas isn't yours! He's not a damn toy!" and then Axel was shoved back and I could see him again, Xemnas spoke up, "Boy, you better watch yourself," he warned and then he continued to talk, "I'm not in the mood to deal with more shit from a crying pussy," he shoved Axel again and this time Axel was forced down onto the couch, Xemnas pinning him there and hissing in his face as Axel twitched and jerked to get away and hurt Xemnas, "You're not strong enough," I heard him hiss, but what he said after that I couldn't make out. He stood up and moved towards me, I backed away a little but Xemnas reached for the doorknob.
Looking at his hand I followed it up to find Xemnas staring at me with a glare that said he wanted to kill me. Biting at the inside of my lip I tried not to back up more, I tried to stay where I was standing and not show Xemnas that I was scared shitless. And then the next thing I knew there was a strong pressure holding my cheeks and that same pressure was tipping my head back and picking me up a little, Xemnas pressed his lips against mine while I pushed against his chest and used my feet to try and back away. "You're mine," he hissed into my lips, "And you will be punished for this," then he was using that same hand that was holding my face to push me. Falling to the ground I slid back on the cheap linoleum floor, only able to catch myself on my elbow while my other hand was up to wipe my lips clean and then I noticed Axel, at about the same time Xemnas did.
Axel ran and charged his shoulder into Xemnas' side and back, running till Xemnas was pushed into the wall, Xemnas whipped around with his fist but Axel quickly backed away and then used his own fist and I was left shocked. Axel just punched Xemnas across the face… and Xemnas actually looked hurt by it, till he raised his own fist again and I was terrified for Axel's safety, and then I heard a shout behind me. "What the fuck do you think you're doing!" my mother shouted, I turned around to see her coming out of her bedroom, alcohol bottle in hand, Axel froze but Xemnas just turned and stared at my mother like he was tired of her. "Shut the fuck up," Xemnas said plainly, he went to go back to punch Axel but Axel quickly ducked, not because of Xemnas but because of my mother.
That alcohol bottle that was in my mother's hand was no longer in my mother's hand, it was chucked in Xemnas' and Axel's direction, Axel was the only who ducked though, it whizzed by Xemnas' face and smashed against the wall by my bedroom door, "Don't you fucking talk to me like that!" my mother screamed, and Xemnas was the one to shout back, "I'll talk to you however the fuck I want!" and in the calm part of my mind- which was very small- a little voice was just like, "Hey… yeah, hi... I'm just sitting here… halfway laying down… and you're both just shouting over top me… I should probably move," but no sooner had I tried to sit up had Xemnas pointed at me, "Don't fucking move," which caused my mother to shout again.
"Don't talk to my son like that either!" my mother's voice was tired even though she was shouting, and then she looked over at Axel, "What the hell are you doing here?" her voice was a little calmer but Axel wasn't the one to answer, Xemnas was, "Your sons talking shit again," Xemnas' voice was harsh and I instantly wanted to yell that it wasn't shit, but my mother spoke next, "Axel, go the fuck outside," she sighed but didn't even give Axel a second glance, "I'm not leaving without Roxas," he said, and the calm part of me awed at his statement while the rest of me was, well, panicking.
And then I felt my mother grabbing me by my hair which forced me to my feet and then she shoved me towards Axel, "Take him! Get the fuck out of my house! All of you! I'm fucking done with this shit!" she turned and went into her room, Xemnas quickly shouted as he pushed me back into a wall and pushed Axel on the other side on his way to the door, "Fucking bitch!" he shouted and then he slammed the door and left, I heard something smash from my mother's room and I turned to look at her door, I wanted to go down and say something, to do something to make it seem less bad than it all was, but Axel grabbed my hand and pulled me into my room, he grabbed my backpack and started to put clothes in it while I just stood there watching.
Then he zipped the bag shut and on his way out of the bedroom he grabbed my arm and pulled me along, he pulled me down the stairs, and out into the parking lot, and halfway to his house but then I pulled my arm free, almost falling in snow yet again. Axel turned to grab my arm again but I pulled it back and took a few steps back, "Just- stop, stop it," my voice wasn't a shout but it was definitely about the level it should've been. But he didn't, he grabbed my arm again anyway and pulled me, I gasped in pain but I don't think Axel heard it, I tried to pull away without falling the rest of the walk to his place, dragging my feet as much as I could, we got to his house and went straight upstairs, he opened his bedroom door and pushed me in, slamming it behind him, he threw my stuff to the floor and started to pace, "You can stay here," he grumbled out, I watched him pace more and then he just shook his head and left out of the door while I continued to just stand there.
I don't know what was wrong with Axel at the moment- but I didn't like it. I kicked my shoes off and quickly laid in the bed, lying as close to the wall as I could while taking up all the blankets as a hint that I was pissed at everyone- including Axel.
As I laid there my arm hurt- oh a lot of things hurt at the moment, but my arm hurting was the only thing that got to me. My arm hurt because of where Axel had grabbed me, but hey- what do I have to complain about? Axel just went and risked his own wellbeing to stand up for mine… I was upset at Axel but I was more angry at myself for being upset than I was actually being upset. And then I heard the door open and close, I knew it was Axel because no one else ever came in his room, so I tried not to move or even seem I was in the room.
"Are you sleeping?" his voice was calm, "I not upset with him, I'm just angry at myself," I had to keep thinking, I shook my head, he sighed and sat on the bed, "I didn't think it would go like that…" he mumbled, "I mean… I knew it wasn't going to go good… I just… didn't think it would go like that…" he was silent when I didn't reply, "Are you okay?" he asked, so I nodded my head. My eyes were closed even though I wasn't tired at all and my back was to Axel but I could still feel him watching me. "What's wrong?" I shook my head to answer his question, nothing was wrong- I was just pissed at myself.
"Listen…" his voice was a bit quiet, "Everything's going to be fine… okay?" nodding my head was my response, and all Axel did was sigh at it. I flinched when I felt Axel's hand on my back and shoulder, he was brushing his thumb back and forth and the anger inside me rose more knowing I just flinched and that he probably realized it. "You're still wearing your hoodie…" he said, "That can't be comfortable to lay in," and in truth it wasn't that bad, it was only uncomfortable if I was rolling around, but I wasn't so it was fine, "Come on," he patted my thigh, "I'll put your hoodie over here next to the bed," I didn't want to, I wanted to stay wrapped in my hoodie but that was just the upset part of me, so after a few seconds I unzipped my hoodie and slid out of it, Axel grabbed it by the hood and pulled it, I heard the zipper chime as it hit the floor, but by the time I could feel Axel's eyes on me I was curled up with the blanket wrapped tight around me.
"What's wrong Rox?" again I shook my head, "Something is, you can talk to me Rox… you know that…" yeah of course I did, Axel was the only one ever willing to listen to me, but that didn't mean I was going to dump all my emotional fights on him, he'd try to do enough already. "Rox, please look at me," but I didn't want to. I didn't like this angry Axel, I just wanted the one I knew and loved back… which was just awful. You can't just love someone because of a mood they have, I wanted Axel to be caring and kind and sarcastic like he always was, but I wasn't willing to deal with the negative emotions? I turned and opened my eyes, looking at the wall in the direction of my feet.
"Hey…" he placed his hand on the side of my face, cupping my cheek, but I flinched and quickly closed my eyes, not wanting to see his face when he saw me flinch away from him. I needed to get over all this- I wasn't tired but I wanted to go to sleep, maybe I'd wake up better. Quickly I rolled over to be on my stomach, face down in the pillow with the blanket covering arms at the sides of my head. He let out a sigh but I didn't say anything, I didn't move, "Rox…" when I made no move he pulled the blanket back, he grabbed a hold of my upper arm and started to lift up like he was trying to roll me over, but I flinched and jumped over closer to the wall and further from him.
His hand had closed around my arm like it had before and my flesh was still sore, my hand move to cup the spot he had grabbed in hopes of holding and comforting away the pain and discomfort. There was no blanket to hide this action, meaning Axel was watching me hold my upper arm and he slowly pulled my fingers away, he gasped, "Who gave you this bruise?" his voice was a little harsh but I just sat up a bit and looked at my arm. And it was one hell of a bruise, dark purple spots that I knew where bruises from the tips of fingers along with a line like bruise from a thumb, the bruise was dark purple but it was surrounded with small splotches of red.
"Roxas, tell me," and I couldn't help but snap back a response, "You should know- you did it," and once I said it I regretted it, I dropped my face back into the pillow, shaking my head no as an apology, till I found the blanket with my hand and pulled it up, I curled against the wall again and with my back to Axel. Maybe that was a pet peeve I had, I hated it when people hurt me but never understood or noticed that they did- which is probably another reason I don't like Xemnas. Axel was silent for a little while and I don't know what I expected but he eventually stood up off the bed and walked out of the room, he shut the door so quietly I barely even heard it. I should've just said it was Xemnas or something…
Turns out even if you aren't tired- anger makes you want to sleep, I don't remember falling asleep but I remember waking up when I felt a hand on my arm, "Hey… Rox…" I opened my eyes at the sound of Axel's voice but I didn't move, it was dark in the room and I realized I slept for a lot longer than I meant to. "Rox… please, wake up," he begged, I rolled over a tiny bit, after a short fight in my mind, just to show that I was awake. I knew he couldn't see me because I couldn't see him, "Are you mad at me?" he asked and I froze, of course I wasn't mad at him, he didn't do anything wrong, he got angry after a fight what else was he supposed to do? "No…" I whispered when I realized he couldn't see my head shake, he let out a sigh, "You should be…" he whispered back, then he continued to speak, "Roxas- I'm so sorry… I didn't… I don't know… I was angry… I just wanted to get you back here and away from all that…" "I know…" I already knew all this, that's why I was pissed at myself for still being upset.
"You have every right to be angry at me… but I'll make it up to you… I promise… you don't have to forgive me right now, but… can I at least sleep next to you?" his voice was a whisper like he was afraid to make too much noise, he continued to speak, "I promise I'm not going to hurt you again…" "I know you won't…" I slowly replied, I moved my hand up to where he was still holding my shoulder and tugged a little, signaling to him that I wanted him to sleep next to me. He stood up and I wondered if he was leaving the room or something but right before I questioned his actions he was climbing into bed, he paused his actions though, "Can I… can I still hold you?" I turned over to face him and nodded- forgetting yet again that I'd have to speak, "Yeah…" he started to move again and his arms slowly and gently wrapped around my arms and I was pulled over to him, I realized he had no shirt on when my hands came in contact with skin instead of fabric.
"Can we talk?" he asked softly, I nodded my head- I knew he couldn't see it but this time he could feel it, "Are you mad at me?" I stopped to think about it, I shook my head. He was silent so I quietly spoke up, "I'm not mad… I'm just... hurt…" I'd never expected Axel to do something like that and I think that's why it hurt. I pressed my forehead against his chest and try to calm my thoughts, I wanted Axel to know that I didn't plan on staying like this towards him, that I'd get over it, "It's okay though…" I whispered, and I realized then that I had been sliding my loose fists against his chest like his thumb was doing on my back, I hadn't even realized I was doing it but I quickly stopped, "I'm more mad at myself about it…" my hand started to move again so I just decided to go with it.
Axel's thumb paused for a moment and the chest I was leaned against backed up a little like Axel had moved to look down at me, "What? Rox- there's no reason for you to be mad at yourself…" I shook my head, and tried to push away the uneasy feeling that was coursing through my veins and rocking in my stomach, "You were trying to help me… you were angry, I should've realized that… I shouldn't be hurt by it because I know you didn't mean to do it on purpose…" I could feel him nod his head and open his mouth to say something but I cut him off, "Can we just forget about it?"
"No," he said softly, "Roxas, I'm sorry, I didn't realize I was hurting you- and that's really not okay… be as mad as you want, just…" he sighed, "We'll work through this Rox, all of it, okay?" slowly I nodded my head, moving my arms to wrap around him, hugging him tightly. I really hoped everything would turn out okay.
thanks for all the reviews :D and sorry for messing up the upload with the last chapter, Imma try not to do it this time around too xD
It's 10:20 pm and Imm about to go help make chicken wings
Upload: June 29, 2013