A/N - I know I've left you a little longer than usual but it's been a really busy week at home. I've just added 5 month old twins to my brood so until I get accustomed to their routine, my time to write is rather limited. And next week is half term holidays, so I get to spend my time with six under sixes. (I feel like Angelina Jolie but without the millions of dollars in the bank.) But I'll try and squeeze another chapter out regardless. Eternal thanks for all your reviews. I am replying to them all right now… unless it was anonymous, in which case I can't. But they are still greatly appreciated and keep my muse active. Anyhow, I'm waffling, so on with the story…..
Disclaimer - Just playing. I don't have the pleasure of owning them.
Enjoy.
Devastated was an understatement.
But right now it was the only word that came to mind that described her emotional state of mind. She had simply driven, to where, she was unsure. The locale was semi-familiar, a past crime scene perhaps? An old warehouse, eerily silent in its abandonment, plagued her consciousness, as she wandered through the decrepit structure. Remnants of tape emblazoned with Crime Scene littered her path, confirming her suspicions.
They had been here before.
ooooooo
"Parker?" Booth knocked softly on his son's bedroom door.
"Go away!"
Booth winced. This was going to be a difficult conversation. "What's the matter, Bud?" he called through the door. "Tell me why you're so upset? Please?"
He heard shuffling from inside the room, then eventually the handle turned and the door swung slowly open. Parker had climbed back up on to his bed and was sitting, legs crossed, holding the bear his father had given him as a baby.
"If you have a baby to look after then you're not going to have any more time to play with me."
"That's not true." Booth protested. "Listen to me Parker. I will always have time for you. Always. Because you're my son and I love you."
"But you'd have to share out your love and then I won't get as much." Parker looked up at his father with uncertainty.
He sat down on the bed beside his son. "Well maybe that's how it works with candy, or fries, but love works different. You see, the more people you have to love, the more love you can give. So if," Booth emphasized, "one day, you get a little brother or sister then I'll love you even more than I already do, because I'll love you because you're my son, but also because you're such a good big brother."
"That doesn't make sense."
"I know." He ruffled Parker's hair. "Love doesn't. You'll get used to it."
"Do you love Bones?"
"Yeah." Booth smiled at the thought of her. "Is that okay with you?"
"I... I think so. You smile more when we see her." Parker looked at the teddy he was holding.
He frowned at Parker's observation. "I smile when it's just us too!"
"Sometimes you do," he agreed. "Sometimes, you just look sad."
Booth chest tightened and he pulled his son to him in an intense hug. "I'm sorry bud. I never realized. But you should know that I always feel happy when you're with me."
"Is that why you want another baby? So you can be happy all the time?"
"Well... your Mom and me, we already have you, and that makes us real happy, but see, Bones, she doesn't have anyone to love like this," Booth explained. "And she thinks that being a mommy will make her happy."
"Would I have to give Mr. Snuggles to the baby?" Parker asked cautiously. "You said he was yours when you were little, and now you were big you didn't need him anymore."
Booth stroked his hand across Parkers hair. "No, he's yours. Mr. Snuggles belongs to you. And you can do what you want with him. Besides, there is no baby yet. Just 'cause Bones wants one, doesn't mean that's what's gonna happen. I mean, did Santa bring you everything you wanted last year?"
"No" Parker laughed. "I didn't get a tarantula 'cause Mommy said no."
"Right! And how old are you now Parker?" Booth quizzed knowingly.
"Seven and a half," he answered proudly.
"Well I can guarantee that there won't be any babies until you're at least eight."
"Wow!" Parker exclaimed. "That's like..... forever away."
"Uh huh." Booth agreed. "So you see there really isn't anything to worry about."
Parker went quiet, then looked back up at Booth. "Is Bones upset with me?"
"No, not at all," Booth placated. "Although I think I might have made her a little sad."
"So you need to say sorry," Parker instructed.
Booth shrugged his shoulders. "I would, but she isn't here anymore."
"Then let's go and find her."
ooooooo
"Tempe?" Max exclaimed as she rushed past from the hallway into the bathroom. The sound of retching followed quickly. He followed his daughter and found her kneeing on the floor beside the toilet bowl.
"I don't feel too good," she mumbled, resting her head against the cold porcelain.
Max sat beside her and brushed her hair from her face. "I noticed. You think you might be...."
"Probably something I ate," she excused.
"You are a terrible liar, Tempe. I really don't know where your Mother and I went wrong," he joked. "But you know, whatever it is, you can tell me."
"I upset Parker," she began.
"Children are resilient," Max interrupted.
"Dad!"
"Sorry." He held up his hands in defense. "Carry on."
"After I left Booth's place I drove somewhere that I've not been in a long time. At first I really didn't know where I was, but then... then the memories just came flooding back. It was years ago," she recalled. "Not long after Booth and I began working together. We were investigating a mafia case as well as the remains of a young girl, who'd been tied up and savaged by dogs. There was a bomb, triggered to explode when I opened my refrigerator. I didn't open it. Booth did."
Max drew up his thumb to wipe the tear that was sliding down her cheek.
"He could have died. That was the first time since you and Mom left that I allowed myself to be scared. I was so scared, seeing him lying on the floor. But, while Booth was recovering in the hospital I was partnered with another Agent. It turned out that he was the one feeding the mafia inside information. He was the one who'd planted the bomb inside my home. And he was the one who took me, and tied me up, and planned to kill me in the same way as that young girl." She heaved a sob. "Where I found myself today was the warehouse he held me captive."
"But you escaped, right?" Max asked. "You're here now."
"No." She looked at her father with determination. "Booth. He discharged himself, despite being barely able to stand up. He.. he found me. Saved me. Like he always does."
He smiled. "I'm sure you've saved him once or twice. It seems a good balance."
"I think..." She took a calming breath. "That's when I realized that he wasn't like all the other people. That what we had was more."
Max nodded. "That was when you fell in love with him."
"No," she objected. "Love is.... irrational."
"I believe, Tempe, that you have unwittingly been in love with him for so long that you didn't even realize what had happened. Think about it."
Their conversation was interrupted by a knock at the door, which was easily distinguishable as Booth's.
"You want me to answer it, Honey?" Max offered.
She nodded. "Can you please tell him I'm not here?"
He cocked his head in disapproval. "I thought you didn't like to lie?"
"I won't be," she asserted. "You'll be lying. And you don't seem to have a problem with it."
"Touché."
Max went to open the door to the waiting agent. The little boy that stood in his place instead, holding a bunch of bright daffodils took Max by surprise. The old man smiled at the nervous child. "Wait here," he instructed, then closed the door. He poked his head back around the bathroom door. "Tempe. It's for you."
She looked confused. "I already knew that."
"Just answer the god-damned door."
Rising to her feet, she walked across the apartment and pulled the door open wide. There Parker stood, his own Booth charm-smile present, as he held the flowers out to her. His father moved into view, and Temperance stood back, allowing them both inside.
"Thank you Parker," she said, taking the flowers to put in water. "They are really beautiful."
"Daddy picked them," he admitted.
"Your Daddy knows what I like." She glanced at Booth suggestively and he looked away sheepishly. "I'm sorry about what I did earlier," she added.
"And I'm sorry about this morning," Booth replied. "Parker and I had a long conversation after you... Are you okay Bones? You look a little pale."
"I am fine. Absolutely..." Her protestations went unfinished as she brought her hand to her mouth to muffle the retching sound that suddenly overcame her. Temperance ran back to the bathroom, slamming the door behind her.
"Uh oh," Parker declared. "Mommy's friend used to puke all the time before she had her baby."
Booth frowned. "Yeah, Bud. This is a little disconcerting."
"Will I have to share my room?"
He considered Parkers observation. "Actually... I hadn't thought that far ahead."
Parker flailed his arms in the air excitedly. "But what if the baby comes next week? Before I stay again? Will it still be my room?"
"Don't worry about it Bud. Babies take ages to come. It's still not going to happen before you turn eight."
"Why?"
Booth held his breath as Parker's question registered. "Why what?"
"Why do babies take such a long time?" Parker asked seriously. "Where do they come from?"
"Where do.... babies... come.... from? Wow Parker, that is quite the question." Booth spun round on his heels. "Max?" he asked, through gritted teeth.
He shook his head. "Sorry Booth, can't help you."
"What? Why? You teach science to kids for god's sake."
"Parental responsibility. Can you imagine what a fuss there would be if I went around telling young children the facts of life without consent."
"I give you consent," Booth answered quickly.
"Have you discussed the matter with his mother though? Something like this is a rite of passage, not to be taken lightly."
"I don't mind explaining, Booth," Temperance offered as she reentered the room.
"Whoa, no!" "Don't take this the wrong way Bones, but... well...."
"He thinks you'll be too blunt and factual," Max added.
Booth stared at the woman before him, who was chewing her lip nervously. "Max? Would you mind taking Parker for a while? I think Bones and I need a little time alone."
"No problem. Come on kid. Let's go get ice cream!"
"Yessss!" Parker exclaimed elatedly.
Once they had left, Booth stood facing Temperance, unsure of where to begin.
"So..." he muttered
"So..."
He took a step closer to her. "Do you think you might be pregnant?"
"I don't know." She shrugged her shoulders slightly.
"Is it too early to take a test?"
"Probably"
"Could we do one anyway?"
"We can, if you want. I already bought a test." As she spoke it occurred to her that she sounded like she already suspected she might be. "To be prepared," she added quickly.
"Okay." He nodded slowly, as he processed what was happening.
"Okay." Temperance walked back towards the bathroom. "This will just take a minute."
Booth sat down for what seemed an eternity, until he felt a presence sit beside him and place the test down on the coffee table. He looked at her questioningly.
"It takes two minutes. So we just need to wait."
They sat, both with arms laying across their laps. Booth glanced at her intermittently, noticing her gaze was focused on one fixed point on the wall opposite. Was she nervous? After all her persistence to make this happen? Finally, he reached across and pulled her hand into his own. She turned to look at him and his smile was heartwarming.
"It's okay," he reassured her. "We wanted this."
She smiled back, and rested her head on his shoulder. "I know." Temperance picked up the test. "It's just...."
"A big deal?"
"Yes." She grinned at him, as she considered how well they worked together. Could this really be it? Was what she felt right now the elusive... love?
Did Temperance Brennan love Seeley Booth?
She refocused her attention to the pregnancy test in her hand. As she turned it over and read the result her heart crashed. "It's negative," she whispered, biting back tears.
Booth watched as her posture sank, and he pulled her into him with a tight squeeze. "S'ok," he mumbled into her hair. "Like you said. It might have been too early for an accurate result. We can try another test in a week or so."
"Yeah, I suppose so."
"And if you're not pregnant this month, well, I think it wouldn't exactly be a hardship to try again next month." Booth struggled to hide his delight at the prospect of repeatedly making love to her again. "Of course," he continued, "if you decided that you wanted to explore the idea of a more traditional relationship then we could practice in the meantime." He trailed his finger across her thigh suggestively.
She pulled back from his embrace. "I already told you Booth. I need time to think about this. Yet you insist on bringing the subject up at every opportunity."
He huffed in frustration. "Sorry for thinking it's important."
Her forehead crinkled. "Are you being sarcastic?"
"Look, I understand that you don't want to feel like you make a mistake. God knows, I'm conscientious enough for the both of us when it comes to this stuff, but..." He sighed before continuing. "This isn't fair Bones. Keeping me hanging on this way. I'm going to need an answer at some point. One that isn't influenced by whether or not you're pregnant."
"I don't understand why things have to change. Why we can't just be as we are?"
"Sweets said we have a surrogate relationship. And we agreed with him that in every way, besides the physical stuff, it was true. But now.... now we've crossed that line, there is nothing left to hide behind."
"What exactly do you want from me, Booth?" she asked, unsure of how they could make this work.
"What I want? Not that much. I don't want anything unreasonable. It's pretty simple. Something. Someone, to rely on. To be there in the middle of the night. I'm sick of waking up alone."
"You want sex. In some manner of routine."
He frowned at her perspective. "No. A relationship is about.... companionship.
"So you would want us to live together? In the same place." He watched her expression closely as she processed his desires.
Booth nodded. "Eventually, yes. Not straight away though. I wouldn't want you to feel uncomfortable about any of it." He stroked her hair. "I want you to be happy. About everything."
"And if this whole situation is not resolvable right now? If I can't do as you ask. What then?"
Booth rubbed his temples in frustration. He needed her to say yes. To tell him that she loved him. To admit that they would grow old together. Was it really so hard? "I'm getting old now," he pleaded. "I'm running out of time, Bones. And I can't carry on like this."
"You need a decision from me." She nodded her head slowly as it became clear just how much this meant to him.
Booth pulled her hands into his. "Jared is having an engagement party on Friday. Will you come?"
"Of course. You know I will." She squeezed his palms in affirmation.
Their eyes met and he looked deep down into hers decisively. "I want an answer that night, Bones. I'm not prepared to let you stew this over any longer. Either, you want me as much as I want you..." He looked away for a moment as his mind considered the alternative. His grip relaxed on her as he brought his line of sight back up. "...or you don't."
A/N – So… what's a girl to do?