I have nothing to say. XD

Nevermore

Chapter 25: Boxes of Bewilderment

Alois/Claude

Alois' POV

After the tyranny of the sea had passed,

I felt true hatred.

My choked sobs gave no release as I laid on that table, throbbing in pain and pleading with my eyes for him to let me go. He just sat there with his terrible posture, taking something from his pocket and flipping it open. It glimmered even in the darkness, and I realized that it was a pocket knife.

I tried to slide away from his menacing face, which was closing in on me, but I was forced to sit up and stare him dead in the eyes. Fright overcame me.

It wasn't the kind of fright that affects someone for a split second and nothing more; it was like being engulfed by the energy and yearning of someone who you were sure was evil. To be more specific, a child's fragile, and the world is not.

He wrapped his fingers around my neck and positioned the knife there. I screamed into the cloth against my mouth and couldn't believe this was happening. I thought I was safe...

"You tell anyone about this, and I'll cut your throat. Try talking then." I felt the blade against my skin as he warned me. "Got it?"

I nodded crazily, hoping that he wouldn't kill me, praying that Claude would walk in and kill him.

Why didn't he realize that I was gone? Why didn't he turn and see that I wasn't there? When I needed him the most, why wasn't he there?

He threw me back onto the table and ripped the cloth away.

I was so sick of being used. This life was taken by such unfairness, and there was my next decision.

Part of me was going to start screaming at the top of my lungs, but another part of me was far too gone, far too afraid of what the captain was capable of.

He had already violated me in every way possible; I didn't want to die as well. That'd be adding insult to injury.

He left me there. Just like that, and without a second look. I slid off of the table, pulling my knees up to my chin in solitude. I needed a single moment. I had to compose myself before finding my way back to Claude, or he'd suspect something.

The thing is, I wasn't good at bottling things up. I had to burst; the emotion had to be released.

I couldn't do that this time, though. I had to keep it in for everyone's sake... not that I cared about everyone.

When I had finally retained my usual outer appearance, I left the dining room and searched the dim hallways for something that would jog my memory. I was still lost, and my despair was blurring my vision more than anyone would think.

I almost felt too dizzy to move my legs. That sounds melodramatic, but it was true at the time.

I wanted to throw up my stomach. I wanted to crawl into a reserved area, a dim corner of the mansion. I didn't want Claude or anyone else to see me in such a desperate state, but I needed Claude's invisible shield around me so that no one could touch me, touch us... so that we could retire to somewhere safer than the safest place in the world.

Eventually, I found my way back to the den, and saw Abbott lighting candles. The blood left my face. I wondered how he had gotten there so fast. Perhaps, I had been gone longer than I thought.

Claude ambushed me, and I knew I was going to be lectured.

"Where did you go?" he almost growled. "You know not to wander off. It worries me, your highness." He was giving me a piercing, disenchanted, and harshly critical stare.

"I'm sorry." I uttered, feeling the coldness resonating off of my butler and strangling me in a fit of fury. I sunk in melancholy sorrow.

"Are you alright? You're appearing paler than usual."

I must've still appeared out of it to him. He must've noticed that my personality was dank.

"He's probably exhausted." Abbott's voice came out of nowhere. Claude and I turned to glance at him, and I shook. Claude noticed, averting his attention back to me.

Was he trying to get a rise out of me?

"Are you sure you're alright, your highness?"

"I'm alright..."

Biggest lie ever.

Claude's POV

I couldn't quite spot it, but something was wrong with Alois. I didn't have to be a demonic creature to sense it; it was written across his face, and the aphorism of the matter was perceptible.

He couldn't hide his demonstrative ways. I knew him far too well to not be able to spot murmurs and abnormalities in his voice and body language. Tsk, tsk. He should've know better.

That first night on Osea Island, my hyperactive heir was despondent and claimed to be tired even though he wouldn't sleep. I suppose he couldn't, which left me a bit overwrought.

My apprehension grew the next day whenever I tried to undress him so that he could bathe. He simply didn't want to remove his clothes (which was unusual for him). Most of the time, there were no objections.

After I forcefully seperated his clothes from his body, he wouldn't uncurl himself enough to step foot in the tub. I had to force him in.

I started the water as he sat in the tub, shaking from something other than coldness. I had to intrude into his secret thoughts.

"Something's wrong. You can't hide it from me."

He craned his neck up in my direction, seemingly apprehended at the least precise time for him.

"Claude, I'm fine. I already told you that." His voice, his mannerisms, told me otherwise.

"Aren't you the one who said that I could tell you a lot of things and not mean any of them? The same applies to you."

He was silent and disconnected.

I left the subject alone for awhile, giving him enough time to revive his vocal cords that seemed to have been severed. I would mend them for him if he'd let me...

When he was comfortable enough in his robe, I pounced on him with more suspicion (to his dismay, I might add).

"So where exactly did you wander off to last night?"

"I was trying to find the bathroom." No emotion was in his voice.

"I see. Did you find it?"

"No..."

"Did you get lost?"

"Yes..." A little emotion now...

I led him into the bedroom and waited patiently for him to change, but he wasn't doing anything. He just positioned himself against the wall, leaning forward and pulling the front of his robe down. I thought that was odd because he usually pulled his clothes up.

Perhaps, he wanted me to dress him, which I could've sworn he was growing out of.

It took me longer than it should've to realize that he needed clothes to change into, and that was the reason why he was standing there idly. We'd have to head into town to buy some.

Of course, Alois wanted to come along with me, so he threw on his clothes from the day before and we were off.

Finny and Bard stayed behind, getting ready to board the next boat. They sat on the steps of the mansion, Bard smoking and Finny humming a tune that sounded familiar enough, but could not be recognized fully. They were waiting for Abbott to show up. None of us had an idea of where he might've went. In a time like that, they must've been greatful to have the patience required to wait.

Alois' POV

Claude knew that I was holding back information from him, and I figured it would only be a matter of time before he squeezed the subject of my misery out of me.

But he couldn't! Abbott would murder me... I couldn't die. I especially couldn't because my love had just been resurrected from the grave. I had the chance to seek happiness again.

So I kept quiet as best I could and walked beside Claude through the trees (more like the woods).

I began to ponder over the happiness I was looking for. Would I really be happy if I still felt like a marionette on reinforced strings? Well, if Claude could make everything appear fine, then maybe everything could be fine.

"I think we're almost there." Claude said, searching beyond the greenery, his golden eyes shining in the light of the midday splendor. The sight would've mesmerized me if I was so out of it.

I could barely register what he said because I felt familiar throbbing again.

I was surprised that Claude didn't notice before, but I had two distinct bruises on my inner thighs.

That's really why I didn't want to undress in front of him. He would question them and find out what had happened.

I still couldn't get over how he didn't see... he saw everything.

"Alois?"

I glanced up and realized that I was leaning up against a tree and Claude's hands were on my face.

"Alois, tell me what's wrong." Here we go.

"Nothing!" I screeched, becoming annoyed by his endless worry.

"Alois, I demand that you tell me." He needed to terminate his speech.

"You do not demand anything! You are my butler; I am your master! Leave it at that, and let's get a move on!"

Poor Claude, putting up with me while still keeping ultimate composure.

"I apoligize. Let's go." He said nothing more, and we continued on.

Claude's POV

"You are my butler; I am your master!"

He spoke the truth, and I knew that he wasn't taking my new authority (that had developed over time) very well. At least, not today, not here. I couldn't be a guardian to him.

We arrived into town, which seemed just as deserted as the mansion. Few people walked the cobblestone streets, and even fewer had any light in their eyes. They looked burned out, and their personalities seemed beaten down to nothing.

His highness finally spoke up again.

"Well, I guess it's a good thing they're so terminated of character. They shouldn't give us any trouble then."

"Yes." Was my simple reply.

We found a little, rickety-looking store that surprisingly sold clothes that he would wear. Maybe that's because it was mostly female's clothing (not to make him sound extremely girly or anything).

We stepped foot inside the shop, and the woman at the counter glanced up at us, shutting the small, wooden box in front of her.

"How can I help you?" Her voice was sweet yet rough - probably the result of short-term smoking. I could even smell the smoke on her wardrobe.

"Oh, Claude! Look at this!"

Alois tugged at a deep purple jacket with gold detailing on the shoulders, which poofed out slightly. The body had more gold details and the collar was lower than what his highness would usually wear. It fit him, though, and he adored it.

Next, he found a black shirt with a low-hanging neckline. It was simple, but he adored it as well.

Then, he found shorts (of course) that were the same color as the shirt. To top it all off, he added fancy black boots with more gold and thigh-high socks that were black and lined with lace at the top.

He tried on that outfit and put together a few more.

It was all very female, and the shop owner just shook her head at Alois, packaging our purchases.

A smirk crept its way onto my face due to the humor of the moment. I hoped Alois secretly felt it, too. I knew he'd miss it when it was gone.

We left that store and headed to the market to buy food.

Abbott didn't lie. Their combinations of fresh meats, bread, and colorful fruits did not disappoint. They were, indeed, fit for a king, or in this instance, fit for a prince.

After we had gotten everything, we made our way back through the trees.

Alois' POV

Isn't it sad how hard the younger generation has it?

I mean, think about it. We're too young to be taken seriously, but we're too old to take shit from anyone. I think that's one of the reasons I've always had an obsession with royalty. I thought that maybe if I was royalty, people would finally respect me, and no one would look down on me. Finally, they would take me seriously.

I was so elated to have my dream of legitimate aristocracy fufilled to the point where it overwhelmed me when I recieved it on a metaphoric golden platter. I swore to hold onto it, to never let it go, and to exploit its benefits to the fullest.

One of those benefits being my attitude towards others. My genuine kindness was gone along with my innocence, and bitter, inconsiderate instances took me over (remade me, in fact).

It dawned on me then that I could do and say basically whatever I wanted to whoever I wanted (within the lines of supremacy), so I did so by disrespecting everyone from my fraudulent uncle and Ciel Phantomhive to complete strangers.

No one's feelings mattered to me. I figured that they didn't have any anyway. I figured that they had gone through their share of torment and lost their innocence as well, so they'd understand.

I also got away with so much because I was young, and people threw everything to the wind when it came to children. They claimed that everything was a phase, everything would change whenever the child grows up.

They were wrong, however, because I've seen plenty of adults that still act like they're my age. Some things never change.

A few variables actually changed for me, which I never expected.

One: My empire of sovereignty. My reign of power was cut short by scandal. I feel like I didn't have enough time to do anything. During those days of sitting in my throne, throwing parties, ordering my servants around, and being envied by others, the thought of all of it being taken away from me was nonexistent. Never did I expect an end to my authority...

... and I missed my crown, my throne, and my rightful place in society. I missed my life. My once great empire was now empty...

Two: Claude's adornment. I grew attached to my butler from the day we made our contract. From there, I really, honestly fell in love with him. I tried not to; I really did, but it couldn't be helped. I got caught in his web, and being devoured by him wasn't starting to sound so bad. In fact, I wanted, no, needed him to desire me.

However, he was a demon, and I was a human. I felt everything, and he felt nothing. At first, I wouldn't stand for him not desiring me because I desired him. After while, though, I really started to give up because I was fairly sure it would never happen. He would never love me.

So, imagine my shock whenever he confessed his love. Imagine how adamant I was in believing him, but I eventually did. He had no reason left to lie, and I had no reason to question him.

Three: The Phantomhive's change of heart. When Claude took me to Ciel's mansion (out of all places), I was enraged, but too exhausted to put up much of a fight. I honestly thought that Ciel would slam the door in our faces and yell at us to go away, but he didn't. Then, when he agreed to hide us (ultimately helping us), I was surprised.

I didn't expect Ciel to help me in any way. I expected rejection of the highest kind. He went along with our plan, even agreeing to provide us with a way out and people to guide us to our destination.

Never once did he say anything about completely folding on us. He said things about me folding, but never him. That's what stuck with me the most.

I didn't expect to see Ciel ever again, and that honestly saddened me. It made me face the reality that everything I once had was gone, and there was no way I was getting any of it back, be it my social standing or my acquaintances.

Those factors broke my heart, be them good or bad... amazingly putrid or beautifully barren...

... and I didn't know what the future would bring, but I knew that I'd have to choose life or death... and I wasn't sure which one I'd end up choosing.