WOOOOOO this chapter felt so good to write :) Hope you like it!

BELLA POV
A couple days later, Edward still hadn't contacted any of us, and the nagging worry was now a weight in my stomach, permanently sitting there. I drove home from school in my truck, rumbling my way along the streets. The weather was getting slightly warmer now, spring was on it's way. I parked and walked up the driveway slowly, purposely stepping on a few crunchy leaves. When I got the the door, I picked up the mail resting on the front step and went inside. I sorted through it, leaving bills and letters for Charlie on the kitchen counter. To my surprise, the last letter in the pile was addressed to me, with a New Jersey address on it. My heart gave a leap, and I sat down at the table, dropping my school bag beside me. I tore open the envelope and unfolded the letter, which was written on a plain piece of stationary. I almost cried out as I recognized Edward's familiar neat and tidy writing, and my eyes began to scan the page.

Bella,
I know you're probably pretty pissed off. And I take complete responsibility. I'm an idiot. I know I was wrong to kiss you like that. But I love you. Not in just a friendly way. I mean I'm seriously and actually in love with you. I think I have been for a long time, I just didn't want anything to get in the way of our friendship, because I value it and you more than anything in the world. Life is better by your side, beautiful. I know this is probably weird, being best friends and all, and I'm really really sorry. I just can't get it out of my head. Isn't this love though? When you notice someone's absence and hate that absence more than anything? More, even, than you love her presence? It's like I've been torn away from a part of me. I really, really miss you. I miss talking to you, knowing that you get me. And everytime I talk to someone else, it just reminds me of how much they don't. We fit together, Bells. We always have. I understand if you don't like me that way, and I will always respect your wishes and what you want. I don't want you to be unhappy or confused or conflicted. Follow your own heart and do whatever you feel you need to do. Don't try to make anyone else happy, start with yourself. Whatever you choose, it's okay with me. But I promise you this, I'll always look out for you. I'll never stop being your best friend, or whatever you need me to be.
I just want you to know, that when I say I love you, I mean it with every bit of my body, with every hair on my skin, with every cell making me up, with every breath I take. When I say I love you, I mean I love you with every bad mood you're in, every tear you shed, with every sad story from your past. When I say I love you, I mean I love you with every smile you put on my face, with every laugh I tickle out of you, with every dream you tell me, with every hug you wrap me into, with every touch of you against my skin, with every falling asleep and waking up next to you. When I say I love you, I mean it with every fibre my body is made up of, with every molecule I consist of. When I say I love you, I mean it.
My heart is yours
-Edward

I finished reading and my throat was swollen and thick. I told myself I wouldn't cry though, I was just so sick and tired of crying by now. I was feeling a million emotions at once. Relief was first. Edward was safe, he was in New Jersey, with access to stationary paper, obviously. He had finally contacted me, finally I had gotten some word and some assurance as to if my best friend was alright. Next was understanding, Carlos had been right. Edward was in love with me, which was such a weird concept that I just couldn't grasp it. It didn't make sense in my brain. And then there was the longing. I didn't care if Edward loved me that way or not, I wanted him back where he belonged, he needed to come home. We could work out whatever came our way. We always had, and nothing could change it. With a renewed sense of determination, I called Edward's number again and again, with no answer. I called Alice and Rosalie, and they said they would be at my house in a couple of minutes. I re-read the letter over and over again. And then suddenly, I felt another emotion. Pity. I felt so bad for my best friend. He had been feeling this way about me for a while, and he hadn't been able to tell me. We had always told each other everything, no matter what. But this was something that he couldn't speak to me about. He must have felt encased and trapped. He must have wanted to tell me so badly, and I wished he had. I wasn't angry. I wasn't upset or confused. I just wanted to see him, I just wanted to work this out. A knock on the door called me to my feet, and I let Alice and Rose in, and they looked worried. But my face was composed and I even smiled as they walked in. I was surprisingly calm and unbothered. I showed them the letter and Rosalie let out a cry.
"I knew all along!" She screamed, chuckling. Alice nodded.
"I thought so as well." She said. I tried to understand how I had missed all the signs.
"Well, think about it Bella. You already act like more than best friends, but that's only because of how close you are. Some people even think you're dating, remember? So the changes in Edward's behaviour would be so subtle you probably wouldn't even notice them." Rosalie said. I noted that this was probably true. We talked about this for a while more, seated on my bed, before Alice asked the question I had been avoiding asking myself.
"Bella, do you love him?" She asked, and the room was quiet. Of course I did, I had loved him all my life. But I knew she meant in a different way.
"No!" I protested. She gave me a look.
"Bella, don't be stubborn. No one is going to judge you here, I want you to seriously think about it, not automatically deny it." Alice said sternly. She was right, this was serious and needed to be thought about carefully. It was quiet as I thought. Edward was always inexplicably there for me when I needed him. He was always the one thing I could depend on, no matter what. He is my other half, he's myself reflected into someone else, but at the same time so radically different. And then, with a flooding sort of feeling, it came to me. Of course I love him in that way. I had been so stupid, refusing to let my mind open up to other things in life, chasing after Carlos and boys I hardly knew, when there was the only one who would always understand me, one who would never leave, standing beside me my whole life.
I asked myself why, and in that same breath, as I looked around my room at the various pictures of Edward and I at different periods in our life, I got my answer. It's everything about him; it's that teasing smile, that warm scent he's always had. It's the curve of his arms and the shape of his shoulders, the tousle of his hair, the familiar ring of his voice. It's just everything about him. But more than that, it's everything about me. It's everything about the way he makes me laugh, cry, smile and hurt. It's everything about the way he's always been able to make me feel. And that's everything that I cannot, and would not, want to let go off, ever. And then, as I thought this, and my stomach churned wildly, but not in a bad way, I realized that that's why the kiss had felt so right. Because there had always been that little bit more that we could give hiding in the corner of our brains, that little tiny change in our relationship that would make all the difference. And once we let it go, it was perfect. We were meant to be like that.
Tears were now coming down my face, but not of sadness. They were tears or everything. Tears of joy in understanding, the confusion finally leaving me. Tears of relief and longing.
"I love him more than the world." I said, and Rosalie and Alice smiled as if a giant weight had just been lifted off them.
"We know. It's okay." They comforted me and relished in my new realization for a while before the tears finally stopped and I was able to make coherent sentences again. I picked up my phone one last time and dialed his number, and as if by some miracle, some unearthly force of nature, he picked up for the first time in almost 17 days.
"Bella." He said into the phone, and automatically my throat closed up again. It was like the sky was raining gold, hearing his voice again.
"Come home now." I choked out. "Please."
"I'm on my way, beautiful." He said like he always had, and even though I knew he was miles away, I felt like he was here again. I felt warm and safe, happy for the first time in a while.

Aww Bella... :)

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