Big thanks to catherineoriginal, .clouds.0607 for following/favouriting.

Filisgirl251 – Don't worry I don't kill off babies.

Draconisnoire43 – Mad might be an understatement.

Eruwaedhiel95 – Exactly. Can you really blame her for doing it?

Nice Egan – Really looking forward to your fic now! And yeah…mad is one way of putting it.

The One with No Regrets

When I woke I could make out several voices all around me. Most of them blurred into a single noise. However, to no surprise there were two that stood out from among the rest. Rubbing the sleep from my eyes I rolled over onto my side. The burning pain hadn't left my head and I could feel the fever raging through my body.

"What did you say to her Kili?"

I didn't understand why Fili was shouting. And at Kili of all people. I didn't even understand how Fili even had the strength to shout.

"I didn't do anything Fili. She chose to do what she did."

What was Kili talking about? Rubbing my head in the hope of clearing the burning pain I forced my eyes open. The rest of the company were sitting around the fire. Several were busy focused on their breakfast whilst I few gave me sad smiles. Sitting up I looked over to see Fili and Kili yelling at each other half way down the tunnel. And that's when it all came back to me. How could I have forgotten healing Fili? Shaking my head I sat up. The sudden movement made my head spin, but I tried to avoid wincing.

"For the love of Durin! Ask her if you don't believe me Fee."

When Fili yelled something back I curled up into a ball. I knew he would be angry. I'd been expecting it. But I hadn't realised just how mad he would be.

"Juliet?" Gimli frowned at me, "What have you done?"

I opened my mouth when I looked up to see both Fili and Kili hurrying towards me. Without giving it a second thought I scrambled to my feet. The anger on Fili's face was obvious. But I could also see the tears that were falling as well. Kili stayed a few feet behind him. Licking my lips I said nothing as Fili backed me up against the cave wall.

"What in Durin's name possessed you?"

"I…" I shut my mouth. Fili grabbed my shoulders; meaning I couldn't move away from him. I was aware of the others all getting to their feet. Kili gave me an apologetic glance. However, Fili was the only one I was focused on. He gave me a small shake.

"Well? Do you have some sort of death wish?"

"Fili back off," Thorin inched closer towards us. Shaking his head Fili eased his grip on me. But I knew from the look in his eyes I wasn't going to be moving until I gave him a good answer. I also knew no answer would be good enough for him.

"I healed you."

"Yes I can see that," he choked on the words, "Why?"

"Because you're my husband! Or have you forgotten that?"

I hated my sharp tongue in situations like this. I found it far too easy to say something that was crossing a line. I knew this time wouldn't be any different. Fili lowered his head. I could see the tears falling down his face.

"Juliet how..? I explicitly told you not to heal me."

"And you honestly expected me to sit by and do nothing?" Pushing him away I folded my arms.

"Fili I have healing powers! How could I just sit by and watch you die knowing I could save you?"

He didn't answer. I waited for one of the others to get involved. But as I looked around none of them seemed willing to help me out.

"So you're willing to kill our child?"

I nodded before I could even think about it. Fili's face went white and I saw his legs shake. Biting my lip I wondered if I should explain what I had meant. I didn't want to lose my baby. But I would much rather have Fili than a baby that hadn't even been born yet. As Fili shook his head I sighed.

"Fili I know you're upset,"

"Upset? Juliet, 'upset' barely covers this! Part of me wants to thank you over and over whilst another part of me wants to shake you for being so reckless!"

"Reckless? How is saving your life being reckless? I promised your mother I would look after you. Yet the second I fulfil that promise I'm the world's worst person! Why is it every time I save your life you yell at me for it?"

"Because you end up risking your own in the process!" Fili grabbed my face with both hands.

"Juliet I can't expect you to understand. But knowing that you have just written your own death warrant is killing me!"

"You think I don't understand?" Tears sprung to my eyes and I shoved Fili away from me.

"I know what it's like to know you're dying. To know you don't have long left. I'd never wish that one anyone. Certainly not you. I had a chance to save you. To keep you alive. You're the one who doesn't understand Fili."

He opened his mouth but I shook my head. Pushing past him I hurried down the tunnel. Tears blurred my vision but I didn't bother to wipe them away. The pain in my head was far worse now and I just wanted to sit down and sleep. I could hear someone running behind me. No doubt it was Fili trying to stop me before I got myself into more trouble. Coming to a halt I leant against the tunnel wall. My insides were jumping up and down. Leaning over I took several breaths – trying to quell the nausea that was raging through my body. I knew we had only a few weeks now to find the flower. But I also knew my healing powers might be able to fight off the plague before then.

"Juliet?"

At Kili's voice I went to reply when a sudden pain hit my stomach. Kili pulled my hair back from my face as I threw up. Ignoring my shaking legs I spat out the rest of the sick before turning back to look at him. Tears were dripping down his own face.

"I know I shouldn't be saying this. But thank you for healing him."

I shook my head, "He's a hypocrite. A fucking hypocrite! You all are!"

Kili blinked at my anger. Running a hand through my hair I sighed.

"Tell me this Kili. If the roles were reversed and Fili had the power to save me then he'd do it wouldn't he? He'd heal me?"

Kili nodded furiously and I threw my arms open.

"So why does he shout at me for doing the same thing he would do in this situation?"

Kili shrugged at this. Licking my lips I began pacing round.

"I don't even understand why the others are so upset. I just saved the life of their next king! At the end of the day Fili means more than I ever will."

"No I don't."

At Fili's voice my mouth dropped slightly. Kili turned round and moved to allow Fili to walk forward. His legs were shaky and I knew it would take him a while to be completely healed. Reaching out with one hand he gave me a weak smile.

"Go back to the others Kili. Tell them we'll be back in a few minutes."

Nodding Kili gave me one last grateful smile before hurrying off. As Fili took my hand I refused to even look at him. I knew it was selfish of me but - just for once – I wanted to heal someone and be thanked for it. Not treated like a disobedient child.

"Juliet I'm sorry I shouted at you back then. I was upset and angry. But you didn't deserve to be treated like that and I'm sorry."

"It's okay."

Fili tightened his grip on my hand, pulling me against him. He gently stroked my cheek with his knuckles.

"No it isn't. I can't bear it that you think you're worth less than I am."

"But it's the truth isn't it? You're the next king."

"And you're my queen." He wrapped his arms around me, "We're equals love. I'll never ask you to kneel to me, or to be submissive to me. And – no matter what anyone else believes – if there's any danger I'll do whatever it takes to make sure your safety is put first."

Nodding I forced my head up. Fili pressed his forehead against mine.

"Oh Juliet! Why did you do this to yourself?"

"Because I have more chance of living. There's a chance that my magic will be able to fight this plague off in a few days. Even if that's not the case, by the time we reach the Cave of Glass I'll still be alive and the flower can heal me. I'm sorry I've upset you because of this. But I honestly had no choice. I love you! I couldn't sit by and watch you die."

Fili stroked the back of my hair, "It's alright Juliet. It's alright. We'll get through this. I promise."

As we travelled I soon realised just how sick I was getting. The night after I had healed Fili I had gone to sleep half convinced the plague would be gone by the morning. That my powers would have worked. Instead I work up with a burning headache and a fever still running through my body. Fili had done his best to blink back the tears whilst Oin looked me over.

"I don't understand. I have magic! Why am I still sick?"

He gently prodded my stomach before nodding.

"You're magic is responding to your own maternal instincts. It is protecting the child and keeping it safe from this illness."

"So, the baby's alright?" Fili gripped my hand hard. Oin nodded,

"The plague hasn't touched it. But this means that your magic won't be able to heal you," he nodded at me.

I bit my lip and I could feel Fili shaking. I'd still given the company some extra time. But it was now far less than I had hoped for. I hid what I could from Fili and the others. Although it was impossible to hide how tired I was I made sure my skin was completely covered and that if I was sick I was far away for them not to hear it. I knew I wouldn't be able to hide it forever. But I didn't want to upset them any more than I already had.

Just over a week after healing Fili we camped in yet another cave. The mountains were full of them but I didn't notice it. I just wanted to sit down and sleep. I'd eaten nothing all day but when Gloin passed me a bowl of stew I found myself shaking my head. If I ate anything I'd throw it back up. Fili gripped my hands.

"Juliet eat. Please!"

Shaking my head I leant against him and shut my eyes. Fili kissed my forehead. The headaches had gone and the fever had almost broken. But now almost all of my body was covered in rashes – half of which were starting to blister. And it wasn't just that. They burned into my skin. I'd wake up in the night convinced I was covered in drops of fire. Every time I coughed I'd cough up blood and I could feel my sight getting worse. I didn't want to think about what would happen if we couldn't find the cave in time. I'd been so sure that healing Fili would solve everything. That I could save him and not have to worry about saving myself. But I had been so wrong. I had a week left, maybe a bit more. But anything else would be a miracle. I knew it. Fili knew it. Everyone knew it. Each night he'd cling to me and whisper into my ear. Mostly it was just him explaining what I meant to him. But sometimes he wouldn't be able to stop himself. When he begged me not to die I'd find myself unable to look him in the eyes. I knew if I did then I would break.

"Juliet…"

"I just want to sleep Fili." I didn't even open my eyes.

Fili wrapped his arms around me and lifted me off the ground. I could hear the others talking sadly to each other and he carried me a little way over. As he lay me down I forced my eyes open. I could barely see a thing. Just the shape of Fili as he knelt over me. One hand stroked my face whilst the other pulled the blanket over me. I tried to tell myself that it was because there was no light in the cave. I couldn't see Fili because it was dark. But I knew I was going blind. I knew in a few days I wake up to complete darkness. When that day came I knew I'd finally break.

Lying down I was aware of Fili lying down beside me.

"You should go back to the others." I began pushing him away. However he kissed both my hands and shook his head.

"I can't leave you Juliet. Every time I turn away from you a small part of my brain tells me that when I look again… you…you won't be there. You'll be gone."

He pulled me close against him and I buried my face against his chest. I was so tired. My legs were struggling to take my weight – never mind keep up the pace. But I refused to let any of them carry me. I could still walk and so walk I would. Besides, I could cope with the news I was dying. I'd had practice after all. Fili kissed me gently on the lips as he ran his fingers through my hair. I didn't even remember shutting my eyes.

When I woke my first instinct was to reach out for Fili. Everything was so dark I couldn't even see my own hand. At first I wondered if the day had come when my sight finally left me. But after blinking a few times things swam back into focus. Fili lay curled up beside me and at the dried tear stains on his face I shook my head. Brushing them away I sat up and looked around. The rest of the company were all asleep except for a figure by the dying fire. I couldn't quite tell who it was. It looked like Gimli. But at the same time it looked like a complete stranger.

"Hello?" I didn't want to be too loud. Fili deserved a decent night's sleep. Getting to my feet I walked towards the fire. My legs weren't as weak now and I forced myself forward. As I neared them I knew the figure wasn't Gimli. It's wasn't a member of this company. Pressing a hand to my stomach I licked my lips. Gorrack had found us. He'd tracked us and was going to kill us in our sleep.

"Long time no see Juliet."

At the voice my whole body froze. The fear I'd hoped to keep down shot to the surface. As Liam turned to face my I shook my head. This couldn't be happening. How the hell had he arrived in Middle Earth? And here of all places. Wiping his hands on his trousers Liam got to his feet and moved towards me. His dark eyes looked just as menacing in the firelight as they did in day time.

"This isn't real." My hand was already reaching for the knife at my belt. Liam gave me a thin smile.

"How would you know that? After all, here I am."

"I…"I couldn't explain why I was still so scared. I could fight orcs, goblins and wargs. Yet suddenly here was my ex-boyfriend and I fell to pieces. Nodding slowly Liam's hand shot forward and he grabbed my wrist.

"It's been too long since I've seen you Juliet."

"Get off me." Finally I grabbed my dagger and pulled it out. Aiming it at Liam's throat I was aware of his shaking his head.

"Really Juliet. You think you can stand up against me? You tried it before and look where it got you?"

Before he had even finished speaking his other hand shot out and knocked the dagger away. As it clattered to the ground Liam grabbed a fistful of my hair and pulled me towards him.

"That hurts!"

He nodded, "I know it does. You always were such a slut Juliet."

"I don't understand."

He pointed to the sleeping figure of Fili. I licked my lips, praying Liam wouldn't see my stomach in the dark light. He kissed my forehead.

"Have I taught you nothing?"

My mouth opened and closed. Liam rolled his eyes before dragging me down one of the tunnels. My feet dragged on the ground whilst I gazed at the company. How had none of them woken up by now? Liam tightened his grip whilst I did my best to struggle. He sighed and pinned me against the wall. Looking to my side I realised we were far away so that the company would have to hear me to find me. Liam pressed his face up against mine.

"I've missed your scream Juliet. I've missed it so very much."

Fili had no idea what woke him up. Reaching out he expected to touch the thinning figure of Juliet beside him. When he found nothing but air he couldn't sit up quick enough.

"Juliet?"

He got no answer. Licking his lips Fili kicked his blanket away and got to his feet. He tried to tell himself not to panic. Juliet might have just needed to stretch her legs. She'd be back in a few minutes.

"Fili?"

Licking his lips Fili looked over to see Dwalin moving from his position by the fire. He narrowed his eyes,

"What's wrong?"

"I…" Fili wished he wasn't worrying so much, "Juliet's missing."

Dwalin bit his lip before grabbing his axe. Fili was aware of Kili waking up beside him. As his brother got to his feet Fili remembered Juliet's first night in Middle Earth. How she had wandered off and he'd rescued her. He hoped this wasn't going to be a repeat of that.

"Where's Juliet?" Kili frowned. Fili shook his head. He opened his mouth when they heard a pained cry coming from the tunnel.

"Liam please!"

Fili knew the other two were giving him odd looks. He shook his head. How could Liam be here? He was back in Juliet's old world. The cries soon turned into screams.

"Liam you're hurting me!"

Pulling his swords out Fili refused to even look at the others. Running down the tunnel his heart snapped with each cry.

"Juliet? Juliet where are you?"

"Please! No Liam please!"

He shook his head. This tunnel was just a straight line. He'd find her and he'd fine her soon. Behind him the other two were right on his heels. No doubt they had their own weapons drawn. Fili gripped his swords tightly.

"Juliet!"

He slowed to a halt as he saw her curled up in a small ball. Rocking back and forth he could hear her sobs as though she was right next to him. Sheathing the weapons Fili knelt beside her. As he brushed against her shoulder she screamed again.

"Liam I'm sorry! I didn't mean to."

"Juliet it's me. It's Fili."

She didn't look up, "Please, not again Liam. I said I was sorry."

Fili sat back on his heels. He had long suspected there was more to Juliet's relationship with Liam than she was saying. He'd seen the marks on her body, the ones she never talked about. She had told him about each scar she had. How she had gotten it and who she had healed. It was the ones she ignored that interested Fili. He rubbed her back.

"Liam's gone Juliet. We scared him away."

At this she stopped rocking and looked up at him. Fili nodded and pulled her in for a hug. She was so thin now. Picking her up in his arms he held her against him like a child. Juliet said nothing and instead clung to his coat.

"Promise?"

Dwalin answered for Fili, "Aye lass. He'll not go near ye again when we're with ye."

"What happened?" Kili whispered. Fili shrugged. Oin had told him Juliet would have hallucinations. He had never gotten that far with the plague. Kissing Juliet's forehead he lay her back down before lying next to her. She looked at the others.

"Sorry for waking you."

Kili shook his head, "Don't worry about it. As long as you're alright."

She nodded and Fili pulled her against him, wrapping the blanket around her body. Juliet fell asleep the second she shut her eyes. But for Fili, his sleep was a long time coming.

So yet another busy chapter! Full of feels and more feels! Poor Juliet and Fili. But I think if I was in her shoes I'd have healed him – although if I was Fili id' be angry so… And yeah that was an interesting hallucination for her to have And just SO MANY FEELS! Let me know what you think xx