A/N: WARNING! I just wanted to let you guys know that there is violence and gore, more than usual, in this chapter. Also, toward the end of this chapter, there is mentions of drug/alcohol abuse as well as a sexually abusive situation. Just wanted to give you all a fair warning, but anyways, happy reading! -A
I yawned, feeling the bright rays of sun on my face and groaned slightly. It had been a restless night's sleep, all night I had been thinking about Axel and what had happened in the prison yesterday. With only two prisoners remaining, their group had dwindled fast. Hearing rustling downstairs I went to roll to the side of the bed and was surprised when I hit the cold metal floor. Letting out a quick shriek, I rubbed my ass that had made a nice cushion. Rolling my eyes, I went to stand up when I heard a small snicker coming from behind me. I turned around and saw that it was none other than Daryl. "Something funny, Dixon?" I asked, shooting him a sharp glare. He began to laugh full out and I couldn't help but scowl at him. I reached onto the cot and pulled off an old pillow, chucking it at his face. It hit him, and immediately wiped the smile from his face.
I laughed at my perfect aim and pulled myself back onto the bed, reaching for my boots. Just as I had gotten within arm's reach of them, I felt a heavy force hit my chest and topple me over. I looked up and saw that it was Daryl, who was straddling me and pressing me into the mattress. I growled and tried to heave him off, but he was too heavy for me. I grunted and thrashed around, but it did nothing, he wouldn't budge. "Ya got a little somethin," he told me before flicking my nose. I laughed and continuously bucked my hips, trying to get him off, but he did nothing but laugh at my futile attempts. I went to raise my hips again, but this time I felt myself hit a bump. I looked down and my face immediately lit up like a Christmas tree, along with Daryl's. I was sure that he had gotten hard with me before, but I'd never... Felt it. He launched himself off of me in a stuttering, bumbling, mess. I laughed awkwardly and swiped my hand through my hair. Well, at least if it was any consolation to him, he seemed to be pretty big. "Uh, well. It's kinda late. Maybe we should go down? Um downstairs!" I stopped myself from making it any more awkward by yanking my boots on and flying down the stairs.
I had made it to the landing and was about to head to the sitting area when I ran headfirst into Rick. "Whoa, girl. Slow down there. What's got you in a frenzy?" He seemed to look over my fluffed hair, wrinkled clothes, and red face and his own turned slightly red. However, it was the devious smile on his face that made it ten times worse. "Ah, I gotcha. No need to explain," he told me before winking and turning away.
I stared after him with my mouth hanging wide open. "Wait! No Rick that didn't happen!" I yelled to him. I sighed and looked back to see the entire group staring at me as if I'd lost my marbles. Maybe I had. Since when did I freak out so much when I saw that a guy was hard for me? Oh yeah, since it was Daryl!
I jumped as a hand was placed on my lower back and I let out a sigh when I saw that it was the very man that was consuming my thoughts right now. "C'mon, batsy. Let's go, gonna be a long day." I gave him a sidelong look as we walked to the table and he smiled at me. "Batsy. Like bat shit crazy." I laughed and shoved him away from me. I finally made it to the table where everyone was standing and Rick gave me a teasing grin to which I rolled my eyes and flicked him off. I received a small snort from Lori's direction and I smiled at the older woman. I felt like she needed all the niceness that she could get right now, seeing that her and Rick obviously weren't on the best of terms right now.
"Alright guys, let's head outside. We've got quite the cleanup job to do today," he told us and we all sighed. Despite my reluctance to do anything today though, I sucked it up and followed the group to the yard where Rick, Carol, T-Dog, Daryl, and I separated to the yard from the rest of the group to figure out what to do with the bodies. As we came to a stop I couldn't help but to wonder where Glenn and Maggie were. I hadn't seen them all day. Rick turned back to us and we all gathered around him. "Okay, let's get the other cars in," he told us and we all nodded.
Daryl pulled out the keys to his bike and nodded to the other side of the prison. "We'll park 'em in the west entry of the yard," he told Rick. That meant that myself, him, and one other person would have to move the cars.
Rick nodded and looked to where Daryl had suggested. "Good, our vehicles camped out there look like a giant "vacancy" sign." He was right, it made the prison look like a safe haven to anyone that happened to be passing by. "After that, we need to load up these corpses so we can burn 'em," he said motioning out to the yard, where there had to be at least fifty walker bodies. Oh yeah, that was gonna be fun.
I heard T-Dog sigh on my side. "Gonna be a long day," he moaned. I nodded, this work was back breaking and the hundred degree heat didn't help matters at all.
"What's a matter buddy? Getting old? Can't do all that young fellow stuff anymore?" I asked him, prodding at his sides. He shoved me away and laughed, the rest of the group also laughing at his expense.
"Shut the hell up Rain," T said laughing at me. He looked around and seemed to also notice that two of our members were missing at the moment.
Daryl was finally the one to ask when he turned around to Rick. "Where's Glenn and Maggie? We could use some help." Seriously, we were all the true able bodied workers and we needed all the help we could get. We were even taking a risk having Carol out here, she was the only one who knew how to do a C section if Lori were to go into labor. Hopefully Lori can hold it until we can get this job done and Carol can get cleaned up.
Carol nodded behind us and looked over at Daryl. "Up in the guard tower," she told him. I let a small smile slip onto my lips. Sly guys, but not quite sly enough. We all knew what they were doing.
Daryl glared at the tower and let a confused look grace his features. Oh come on Daryl, I know you're a little oblivious to the ways of the naughty, but I know you can figure this one out. "Guard tower? They were just up there last night," he said to no one in particular. Yes, very good Daryl. Now what does a couple do when they are alone together in a room with no one to interrupt? They have sex! Well except for you because I'm pretty sure you think I have cooties. Oh come on Rain, this is not the time to be talking to yourself. And especially about yours and Daryl's not existent sex life. "Glenn! Maggie!" Daryl called up to the tower, and I jumped at the sudden volume of his voice. Way to be gentle sweetheart.
I heard the door click and I laughed when I saw it open to reveal a shirtless Glenn, who was buttoning and zipping his pants. Well damn Glenn, taking every last moments opportunity to do something aren't we? "Hey, what's up, guys?" Glenn asked with an awkward laugh. Oh come on man, we all know what was just going on. No need to try to hide it or look innocent.
"You coming?" Daryl called up to him. I couldn't help it. That time I burst out laughing, along with everyone else in our small group. Even from this distance I could see Glenn turning a bright red. The laughter got even worse when Maggie walked out with ruffled clothes and messed up hair, looking confused as ever. Well as least this time it was someone else who was getting the awkward, "oh, what were you two just doing?" look.
Glenn stared at us all dumbfounded for a moment before stupidly asking us, "what?" Damn, the two of them must have really been caught up in the moment. Well hey, at least someone's been getting in on around here. Alright, damn it hormonal teenage part of me. You stop that shit right now. I smiled as the laughter got even louder. It was good, it wasn't too often anymore that we all got to laugh. The world was too serious to have any fun anymore.
I looked over at Daryl and saw that he was wearing one of his rare, genuine smiles. "You comin'?" He called to the two. We all laughed and I leaned over to him.
"Aw Daryl I think we interrupted them before they could get there," I told him just loud enough for the couple to hear. At that, it wasn't just giggles anymore, Everyone in the group was in complete hysterics. Serves them right for every time they've made some awkward comment to Daryl and I.
Daryl laughed and smiled at me for a moment before looking back up to the guard tower where I could see the deep blush that both Glenn and Maggie were wearing. I glanced over to Maggie and saw that she was flipping me the bird so I gave her a sassy wink. The brunette rolled her eyes but smiled at me anyways. "Come on, we could use a hand," Daryl called to the couple. The two began to make their way down and I sighed. It had been fun but there was always more work to be done.
"Yeah, we'll be right down," Glenn called to us as they went back into the tower.
I smiled as I turned back to the group. It had been a long time since we had all had smiles on our faces. Glenn and Maggie had made their way out of the tower and come to stand next to us, Maggie taking a spot next to me. She shoved me and gave me a friendly glare. "I shrugged my shoulders at her and leaned over. "Sisters pick on each other right?" I asked her. She smiled and nodded at me, pulling me in for a quick side hug.
Rick was opening his mouth ready to give us the orders for the day when T-Dog cut him off. "Hey, Rick," he said, pointing out into the yard. I looked in the direction he was pointing, trying to figure out what he was talking about when I saw it. The two remaining prisoners, Axel and Oscar. They were standing at the fence staring at us. I felt my stomach leap into my throat and knew that my skin had turned a pale white. Daryl looked at me, knowing that I would have some sort of reaction to them. I gave him a weak smile, but he shook his head and scowled at me. He looked like he was about to chew me out, but Rick opened his mouth first.
Rick turned and stiffened when he saw the prisoners. Obviously angry, he turned back to face myself, T-Dog, and Daryl. "Come with me," he mumbled to us, and we all followed him up the yard. We were walking towards the prisoners, who were trying to meet up with us. As we got within a few feet of us, Rick put his hand up to them. "That's close enough. We had an agreement," he told them. Well, at least he was trying to be civil at first.
Axel nodded at Rick and stopped alongside Oscar. He was shaking, that much I could tell. "Please, mister. We know that. We made a deal. But you've gotta understand we can't live in that place another minute. You follow me? All the bodies- people we knew. Blood, brains everywhere. There's ghosts." Even though I wished that Axel had never shown up here, I couldn't help but feel bad for the man. He knew, as well as we did, that if he went out on the road he wouldn't survive. And a death by the walkers is something that I wouldn't even wish upon my worst enemy.
Rick stared at them for a moment and shook his head, not wanting to fall for the pity routine. I was sure that since he had been a Sheriff, he had seen that one time and time again. "Why don't you move the bodies out?" He asked them.
"You should be burning them," T-Dog put in. He was right, the smell of the walker bodies would just attract more. And leaving the bodies there only produced an awful smell. One that I could only imagine was most likely toxic. They needed to be taking the bodies out and burning them like T had suggested to them yesterday.
Axel nodded and at T and then shook his head. "We tried. We did." Uh huh, you tried but yet I don't see any pile of burning bodies over in the courtyard.
Oscar snorted and looked over at T-Dog. "The fence is down on the far side of the prison. Every time we drag a body out, those things just line up. So hump in a body and just running back inside." I nodded. He made sense, we hadn't secured that side of the prison, so of course walkers were getting in. And they were way too scared to come over to our side to burn the bodies. Hell, Rick had threatened to kill them if he ever saw them again. Must have taken a lot of guts to even come out here.
"Look, we had nothing to do with Thomas and Andrew. Nothing," Axel cried out without warning. I knew that they most likely had nothing to do with the attack, but it was better safe than sorry. There was no way that Rick would let these men in a place where his pregnant wife and son were living.
Daryl sneered at the man and spit out, "you trying to prove a point? You proved it, bro." I looked over at him and wondered what had gotten into him. I supposed that he really didn't like the idea of someone groveling for a way to survive. Daryl wasn't that type of person, and I suppose people like that bothered him.
Axel looked over at Daryl, and I could have sworn that he was about ready to drop down onto his knees and plead at Rick's feet. "We'll do whatever it takes to be part of your group. Just, please, please. Don't make us live in that place." I knew that he was tugging at Rick's heartstrings, but he stayed strong.
Rick shook his head and kept a blank face looking at the men. "Our deal is not negotiable. You either live in your cell block, or you leave." I knew that it was a tough thing to do, but Rick was forced into a narrow spot. He was stuck with the memories of what had happened with Andrew and Tomas. He didn't want to take the same risk with these men.
Oscar snorted again and turned away from us. "I told you this was a waste of time. They ain't no different than the pricks who shot up our boys. You know how many friends' corpses we had to drag out this week? Just threw 'em out, like. Humph," Oscar huffed again and I glared at him. I knew that he was upset, but we were at least giving them a choice, there was no need to be a dick about it. They had pushed our hand after all. We had been willing to play nice.
Axel shook his head at his friend and turned to look at us. "These were good guys. Good guys who had our backs against the really bad dudes in the joint, like Thomas and Andrew. We've all made mistakes to get in here, chief. And I'm not gonna pretend to be a saint, but believe me we've paid our due- enough that we would rather hit that road than to go back into that shithole." He waited for a moment to see if any of us would stick up for him, but we all remained silent. He could beg as much as he wanted, there was no way right now that we had the trust to let them live around us.
"C'mon, dude," Oscar huffed pulling Axel with him.
The two men retreated back into their cell and we all sighed. As we made the walk back up the our own cell block, Rick turned over to T-Dog and stared incredulously at him. "Are you serious? You want them living in a cell next to you? They'll just be waiting for a chance to grab our weapons. You want to go back to sleeping with one eye open?" He asked.
"I never stopped," T immediately growled at Rick. "Bring them into the fold. If we send them off packing, we might as well execute them ourselves." I sighed, feeling like this was turning into another Randall situation. And we all saw how well that one worked out. We lost a few group members, and the farm.
Carol sighed and shuffled a little bit, as she, Maggie, and Glenn caught up with us. "I don't know. Axel seems a little unstable. After all we've been through? We fought so hard for all this, what if they decide to take it? It's just been us for so long. They're strangers." She was right, even if we did put our trust in these men and they turned out to be good, we didn't know them. We had all been together for months and there was a bond between us. It would be weird to bring in someone new. We made it up to the gates of the cell block and made our way inside. I smiled as I saw Hershel sitting at the table. It was the first time that I'd seen the old man since the accident. He was one tough son of a bitch if he was already up. Now walking would be another matter, but I had seen this morning that Carl had found him a pair of crutches to use. I was ecstatic that the older man had made it, and now was on the road to recovery.
Maggie looked around and shook her head. "I don't- It feels weird all of a sudden to have these other people around." She was right, at the moment there was no room for new people in our grup dynamic. Especially prisoners whose friends had tried to kill our leader.
T-Dog shook his head and looked over at Hershel. "You brought us in."
The older man smiled, but shook his head. "Yeah, but you turned up with a shot boy in your arms. Didn't give us a choice," he told the younger man. I nodded, Hershel's own man had shot one of our kids, of course they had to take us in. With Hershel being a Christian, his thing was that it had been the right thing to do.
"They can't even kill walkers," Glenn put in.
I smiled sadly and looked at T. "Don't you remember the shit that they pulled trying to kill the walkers like a mad man? T-Dog, they might not be dangerous but I don't think they're exactly helpful. I mean, look at Axel. The man barely looks like he could figure out how to open the gates. And Oscar, he's obviously upset with us, and I would hate to do something to make him snap. It's just not worth it, letting them live here with us." I saw the dejected look on T's face and I felt horrible, but someone had to make him see that letting these people in was a bad idea.
Rick nodded at me and let out a small sigh. "They're convicts, bottom line." Rick was right, no matter what, these men had done something to land them here. And none of what they did was exactly noble.
Daryl, who had been silent all of the conversation, finally spoke up. "Those two might actually have less blood on their hands than we do. I get guys like this. Hell, I grew up with them. They're degenerates, but they ain't psychos. I could have been with them just as easy as I am out here with you, guys." I gave him a sidelong glance. I supposed he meant because of Merle, but that just wasn't who Daryl was. He was a kind spirited man with a tough shell. But did he mean that he was for letting them in with us?
T-Dog looked surprised and turned towards Daryl. "So are you with me?" He asked.
Daryl stayed silent for a minute before shaking his head. "Hell, no. Let 'em take their chances out on the road, just like we did." I nodded at him, he had just been defending the fact that they weren't these horrible people, that anyone could have been them. Any single one of us.
"What I'm saying, Daryl-" T-Dog started before he was cut off by Rick.
"When I was a rookie, I arrested this kid. Wanted for stabbing his girlfriend. The kid blubbered like a baby during the interrogation, during the trial- suckered the jury. He was acquitted due to insufficient evidence, and in 2 weeks later shot another girl. We've been through too much. Our deal with them stands." And with that, Rick stalked off and I sighed. I looked back and remembered that. I had been younger, still in high school, but I still remembered it. Good looking kid got all upset with his girlfriend for talking to another guy or something and he stabbed her. Turned out he liked it, so after he got off, he went and did it to another girl. This one, he had had absolutely no connection with. The whole thing had been this huge deal.
I had been so caught up in my own thoughts that I hadn't even noticed Daryl come up from behind me. He placed his hand on my shoulder and I nearly jumped out of my skin. I felt the vibrations from his laugh on my back and I quickly calmed down, allowing myself to smile at the warmth of his touch. "Whoa girl, just me. C'mon, I'm gonna go do a little repair on the bike. Could use an extra set of hands?" He subtly asked me to go out into the yard with him. I smiled and nodded, grabbing a few rags and tailing Daryl out of the cell block. We walked into the yard and I smiled as we came onto the bike. "Alright, I gotta put in a new brake pedal, so can you clean up the front?" He asked me. I nodded and decided to tease him a bit.
I pulled off my thin jacket, leaving me in my white shorts- from having been bleached so much- and grey vest. I wasn't normally one to tease like that, but it was Daryl, who I knew would be uncomfortable with it, so I figured why the hell not? "So you're gonna make me do a woman's job huh?" I asked him with a smarmy tone, grabbing a rag and leaning over the bike to start wiping it down. Daryl looked over at me, and I saw his eyes immediately bulge. I knew that he was trying as hard as he could not to stare, and I tried as hard as I could not to laugh. He huffed and went back to what he was doing and I let out a small laugh. For a while, we just worked on the bike in silence, I was now tightening the screws. As I worked though, I watched out of the corner of my eye and let a small smile slip across my lips every time he looked over and thought I wasn't looked. Curiosity finally hit me and I looked over at Daryl. "Hey Daryl, what's the story behind the bike anyways?" I asked him.
He looked surprised that I'd asked but he shrugged and went back to his work. "It was Merle's actually." That part I had known, I remembered back while we were on the road, before we'd reached the farm, that he would always get mad when people touched his brothers bike. "He got it when he was sixteen. I was really young at the time. Not much that I remember from that age but I still remember that stupid grin on his face bringing it up the driveway. I'm pretty sure he stole it though, cuz he went away to juvie for a while after that. He put the bike away, hid it well out in the shed. He told me before he left that people would come around looking for the bike because they wanted it, and if they asked, to tell them that we didn't have a bike. A few people came by, but I was always loyal to him, told them that we didn't have one. After a while they stopped coming around and Merle came back a few weeks later. I suppose that was one of the crimes he actually got away with." I stayed silent for a moment and then got up and hugged Daryl.
He seemed shocked but he loosened up and hugged me back. He gave me a questioning look, and I smiled at him. "Always were loyal weren't you?" I asked him. He nodded and I let go. I went back to work but turned back to him, "hey, that was a cute story about the bike. I knew that Merle wasn't all sex and drugs and illegal shit." Daryl smiled and we went back to work.
I had finished tightening the bolts and was about to ask Daryl what else he wanted me to do when I heard the car engines start. I turned around and saw that the group was moving the cars. I also saw that Axel was walking up, with a grin on his face as he looked at the bike. I couldn't help but to stiffen, there was no one to hide behind now. He came up and stood right behind Daryl, luckily avoiding me. "Twin cylinder. Is that a Triumph?" He asked Daryl.
Without even looking back, he snorted. "Don't even look at it," he snapped at Axel. I knew it wasn't just because it was Merle's bike, it was just because he wanted no part of the fight between Rick and the prisoners for letting the stay with us. I didn't blame him, I hoped that by giving him the cold shoulder Axel would give up and leave us alone.
Axel shuffled around for a minute, and I knew that he wasn't going to give up that easily. "Didn't want it bored out?" Axel asked as Daryl revved the engine. "Sounds like it could use a tune-up," Axel tried again. I could tell by the tightening of his hands that Daryl was beginning to get annoyed with Axel. "I'm pretty handy with the grind. Heads are leakin'," Axel said once more.
Daryl seemed to finally have enough as he stood up and threw down the rag. "I know my bikes!" He yelled at Axel, who jumped at the sudden volume change. "Man, will you just stop? Have some balls," Daryl grumbled at Axel.
The other man looked very dejected before stalking off in the other direction. "Just sayin'," he grumbled as he walked away.
I turned back to Daryl and rolled my eyes. "You know, he's scared. He doesn't want to stay in the cell block because it haunts him and he doesn't want to leave because he's scared of what's out there. I was scared like that once too. You can't blame him, he's trying to do everything in his power to stay with us." I sat for a moment waiting for a response, but all I got was a small huff. Scoffing, I went back to the bike and wiped down the wheels as Daryl went to looking at the gears.
I turned around as I heard the squeak of the cell block door and I smiled when I saw that it was Hershel, who seemed to be learning how to walk on the crutches. From the look of it, he was doing pretty well, being led by Lori and Beth. I poked at Daryl, who looked up at me and I pointed to the older man. He chuckled slightly and let a small smirk grace his lips. "All right. Just take your time," Lori told Hershel, who was working on getting down the stairs.
I smiled as I saw that Beth was fretting over her father. "Daddy, don't push yourself," the younger girl pleaded with her father. I laughed, Hershel was like me. Stubborn to a T. There was no way that he was going to take it easy. He didn't care if it meant potentially falling or tripping a few times. At least he was trying and not devastated at the loss of his leg.
Hershel seemed to find the same thing as funny as I had when he started to laugh. "What else am I going to do? I can't stand looking up at the bottom of that bunk," he told his daughter as he attempted to take the stairs on his own. "Whoa," he cried as he started to tip over, but luckily Lori and Beth were there to help him. He slowly took the rest of the steps and smiled proudly at himself. He tapped the crutch on the ground a few times and looked at the two females. "You know? I can go pretty steady," he assured them. Even with his assurance though, they were still reluctant to release their grip on him.
The two women finally moved away and Lori was smiling happily at him. It was the first genuine smile I'd seen from her in a while. "That's a good start. Want to take a rest?" She asked him. Yeah right Lori, he's just getting started.
Hershel smiled at her and gave her a devious glance. "Rest?" He asked her while laughing. "Let's go for a little stroll," he told her while starting ahead on the crutches. I smiled at him as he went around in circles.
Calling out to Hershel, I told him "Hey Hershel! You're a natural on those!"
He smiled back at me and laughed while hopping in circles with them. "That I am, Rain. I suppose I was always meant to only have one leg!" I laughed and turned back to the bike. However, not even a moment had gone by before Rick called a few of us over. I sat by and watched as Rick gave the prisoners some provisions that would last them about a week if they were careful with their rations.
Rick stood in front of Axel and handed him a box full of food and a few bottles of water. "There's enough food in there to last you guys a week. Cut you loose when we get back," Rick said. He was referring to the fact that we had to move the cars around and finish clearing the yard of the walkers before we could let the men out there.
Axel nodded and took the box of food from Rick's hands. I could tell that he was disappointed, but he knew at this rate there was nothing that could be done for them. "Thank you, bro," he told Rick who nodded at him. Oh well, at least Axel was being a gracious loser. He's doing a better job than I would have done.
Rick nodded at him and managed to keep a straight face. "Sit tight," he told the two men before walking away.
I was walking away as well when I heard Oscar ask Axel, "Thank you, bro"? I laughed, they may have been prisoners, but they treated each other like family, just the way that we all treated each other. As I followed Rick out of the top of the yard, I looped around and went to the cars, standing besides Rick and Glenn.
We were down by the fences and there was a walker growling across the fence. Glenn pulled out his gun and turned to Rick. "Should I take her out?" He asked.
Rick shook his head and pushed Glenn's gun down. "No. If that armory hadn't been picked clean, we could spare the ammo." He was right, throughtout the winter, our ammo supply had dwindled to a near zero. I only had two full magazines left and that was it. We had about a half of a box of additional ammo, but after we go through that, we'll be completely out.
Glenn nodded and placed his gun back into its holster. "I'll start making runs," he told Rick and I nodded. We needed to start going on runs. That food wouldn't last us forever, we needed bullets, and we had absolutely no baby food. That was the top priority for our group right now. Making sure that the baby would be able to make it through infancy.
"I'll go with you and I'm sure Maggie and Daryl will help too. We need to check a weapons store, and food supply stores. That food we have in there will last us a couple of weeks but I'm sure it will go fast. And baby powder, the baby won't make it very long without any. I'm sure there's a daycare around somewhere. Maybe I can find a Yellow Pages? See if I can find any nurseries around here?" I asked.
Rick nodded to me gratefully and ran a hand through his hair. I could tell that the poor guy was absolutely exhausted. "The sooner the better. And thank you Rain, you're right. The baby won't survive more than a few hours without it. Maybe you and Daryl could make that run?" He asked me. I nodded and he mumbled a small thank you before walking away. I followed in his footsteps and made my way over to Daryl, who was giving the bike a good wash.
I laughed and walked up to him, grabbing a washcloth and beginning to help him with cleaning the bike. I smiled at him and prodded his arm. "You know, I think you would make a good dad. You treat that thing better than most parents treat their kinds," I told him, nudging him. He smiled at me and gave a small snort.
"Yeah, well it doesn't talk back. A lot less of a pain in my ass than you." I laughed but punched him, throwing the wet cloth onto him. I grunted and he laughed, pulling it off of his face, shining the front of the bike. I had been washing off the bike for a few minutes when I saw a small engraving in the side of the bike. However, it wasn't an actual engraving. It looked like they had done it with a knife. Looking a little closer, I saw that it was a name. "Merle Dixon" it read. I smiled at the bike an snorted. Naturally Merle would do that, ward off any unwelcome visitors for his bike. The is thing must have meant more than anything to Merle.
I turned around to get more water on the rag when I saw that Hershel had actually gotten pretty far on his own. Lori and Beth were still standing off to his sides just in case though. "I got you here if you need it. Just take your time on these steps," she told him. Of course though, he was going to manage to do it on his own.
Hershel was tilting slightly toward Carl who whooped when Hershel caught himself. Hershel took a look around and saw the yard and gave an approving nod. "You cleared all those bodies out? It's starting to look like a place we could really live in," he told Rick. I nodded my agreement. The place was almost cozy. Well if you counted a fenced in, dark, barred prison as it cozy it is. But still, it kept us safe, and we were building a life here. Our family was all here. We were home.
Hershel stumbled a bit and Rick walked over to him. "Hey, you watch your step. Last thing we need is you falling," Rick cautioned the older man who merely waved our leader off.
Daryl laughed lowly next to me and stood up, myself following suit. "Looky here. He is one tough son of a bitch," Daryl called out. I laughed and Hershel gave a small smile. I gave him an adoring look, I loved it when Daryl interacted with the group like that. They might never know it but Daryl was actually a huge goofball, I'd learned that in our late night talks.
Glenn looked up from his work and laughed at Daryl's comment. "All right, Hershel!" He cried out. I laughed at his enthusiasm but grimaced when I realized how loud his yell had actually been. Even though we were fenced in, we didn't want to risk drawing more walkers over to the prison. We wanted to keep as low of a profile as we could.
It seemed that Rick was thinking the same thing as he glared at the young Asian man. "Shh! Keep your cheers down," Rick hissed at me. I saw the heartbroken look on Glenn's face and I walked over to him placing my hands on his shoulder. He looked at me with a sad smile and shrugged his shoulders.
"Oh, man. Can't we just have one good day?" He asked me.
I sighed and squeezed his shoulders. "He's just stressed out Glenn. He's got the prison to worry about, getting rid of the prisoners, the walkers, getting this place ready, and on top of all that he has a pregnant wife. And if you hadn't noticed, things aren't exactly going very well between the two of them."
He nodded at me and let out a long breath. "I know that Rain, but still. Couldn't he just let us have a little fun?" He asked me. I had no answer so I just stood there while Glenn walked away. I sighed and turned around to see Carl standing besides me. I smiled at him and he gave me a smile back. At least he was doing better than his mom and dad.
We turned around to where Beth was standing beside her father. "You're doing great, Daddy," Beth told him to which the older man smiled. She was right, he was making amazing progress for having just gotten up earlier today. It wasn't exactly very easy learning how to live on one leg.
Carl watched the older man figure out how to walk arund and he smirked at him. "Ready to race, Hershel?" He called out. I smiled at the challenge, pulling Carl into my side, giving him a side hug to which he gave me a small hug back.
Hershel smirked back the young boy. "Give me another day. I'll take you on," he told Carl. Both myself and Carl laughed as we turned back to the rest of the group. I looked around and noticed that there was even a small smile on Rick's face. I knew that he still had some happiness in there, he wasn't completely gone.
Rick turned back around and grabbed the shoulders of a dead walker by his feet. "Grab the rest of the bodies," he told the rest of us while still attempting to control his laughs. I turned looking for a body when I heard a small snarl. I turned to yell at Daryl for trying to scare me and I saw it. "Walkers!" Rick yelled at the smae time I had been about to. "Look out!" He yelled facing me, and I ducked out of the way just in time to avoid a walker. Pulling out my knife I drove it into the walkers skull and grabbed Carl by the hand pulling him with me. "No!" I heard Rick yell and I risked a glance to see what was happening. There were walkers everywhere, and the growling was so loud that I could hardly hear the screams of anyone around us. There were guns firing left, right, and center, so I moved into an open space, hoping that by being there no one would mistake us for walkers. "Get out! Get out of there! No! Lori!" I could still hear Rick yelling. Lori had been dangerously close to being bit, but luckily Maggie had come to her rescue at the last moment, pulling her towards Carl and I.
I watched them hit a gate, and I fired round after round, alongside Carl, at the walkers to try to get to the cage that Maggie and Lori were going into. "Carl! Rain! Come in here!" She screamed to us. I started to make a mad dash to the cage, but three walkers cut us off. With no more ammo and no time to put in the other magazine, I took my knife to the first one's forehead while Carl shot the other two. Turning back once more I saw Beth and Hershel manage to lock themselves in a cage and watch the carnage.
"That gate is open!" Rick screamed, pointing to the gate that had been preventing walkers from getting into the concrete patio. How the hell had someone gotten that off? Someone had to have somehow gotten in there and cut the wires.
I stood staring for a moment praying that I would be able to find Daryl but I had no such luck, until I finally heard his voice call out. "Come on, come on! Rain!" I smiled at the knowledge that he was still alive and I waved out to him, screaming his name. I could tell that he was trying to find me but there was too much chaos, he would never be able to see me with all this going on. I sighed and turned back to the fence, running to it and managing to make it into the gate with Carl. I grabbed onto Maggie and slammed the door closed, with Lori clinging onto her son behind us.
I jumped as an alarm went off, and walkers hit the cage at all sides. I grabbed Maggie's arm and dragged her through the cage, pushing Lori and Carl ahead of us. With my bow drawn, I held in, nocked and ready, waiting to see if any walkers were on the inside. I took the lead, with Maggie ahead of me and we started through the hallway. I heard Lori grunt and her footsteps slowed before I turned around to see if she was OK. "Can you keep up?" Maggie asked her.
Lori was now bent over, and I felt my heart race go up as I prayed that I wasn't right about what I thought was about to happen. She stood for a moment before looking at Maggie and I. "Something's not right," she told us while clutching her stomach. Oh God, please not now. Anytime, but not right now.
Carl stared at his mother and grabbed her arms. "Are you bit?" He asked.
She took her arms away and went back to holding her stomach. She grunted and squeezed her eyes shut. "No, no, no. I think the baby's coming," she moaned. Oh my God, no way.
"Lori are you sure?" I asked her. She nodded and let out a small scream to which I grimaced. I knew that if there were any walkers around, we had just alerted them to where we were.
"Mom?" Carl asked, and it was just then that I heard the snarling of the walkers. Damn it! We took off running and headed in the other direction from the snarling.
We had made it a few yards when Lori bent over. It was obvious that she couldn't go very much longer. She would have to stop soon. I ran over to her and pulled on her arms, trying to get her to move. "No, there's no time!" Maggie yelled as she finally got Lori to move. The snarling of the walkers was getting closer and closer with every step and I knew that they must have been almost right behind us. I turned around to fight when I heard Maggie yell and she pulled me to a stop. "In here!" Lori was grunting and couching behind us so I was thankful that we could get a place to stop. Hopefully a safe one. We ran inside the room and I quickly threw the door, bolting it. "Okay," Maggie sighed breathing heavily.
I leaned back on the door, trying to ignore the alarms and calm my breathing down. I was almost back to normal when a bang on the door from the walkers nearly gave me a heart attack. Lori was leaning back against a pipe, breathing in and out heavily. She looked up at the ceiling and asked, "what are those alarms?"
"Don't worry about it," Maggie told her.
Carl looked around for a while and held his gun out, ready to shoot in case the walkers broke through. But there was no way, those doors were bulletproof. This was a prison for a reason after all. "What if it attracts them?" He asked. I hated to think it but that was probably why someone had set them off in the first place.
Lori was staring to pant a little too much for my comfort and it seemed that Maggie felt the same way. "Lori, let's lay you down," she told the older woman. I walked over to help Lori lay down on the cold stone floor. Considering that she was burning up, the cold floors probably felt great to her.
Lori tried to fight us but I knew that she was far too weak to fight off either one of us. "No, the baby's coming now. We have to get back to our cell block to have Hershel help," Lori tried to reason.
I was about to tell Lori that we couldn't risk it out there. That we could get lost, or she could go into labor right out there, or we could get surrounded but Maggie beat me to it. "We can't risk getting caught out there. You're gonna need to give birth to this baby here," she told Lori and I nodded. It wasn't worth the risk to try to make it back to our cell block right now.
"Great," Lori panted as she settled into the floor.
Her panting got heavier and Carl ran over, running between myself and Maggie. "What is she doing? Can't she breathe?" He asked us in a hurry, clearly worried about his mother.
Maggie pushed him back and she leaned down by Lori's hips. "She's fine. Come here, let's get your pants off." She helped Lori wiggle off her pants. I stood to the side dumbfounded. I had never planned on having children so I had never really paid any attention to the sex ed classes in school, I ignored people talking about their children, and I hadn't been in the room when my sister had been born. I'd never even seen a birth on TV.
"Okay. Okay," Lori tried to assure herself. I could tell that she was in a lot of pain from the winces that were crossing her face.
Maggie turned to Carl and pulled him up besides her. "You're gonna need to help deliver your brother or sister. You up for it?" She asked Carl. Not really having a choice, he nodded with a scared look on his face.
Lori looked surprised as she glanced at Maggie. "Do you know how?" She asked.
Maggie let out a grunt as she sat in front of Lori feet, spreading her legs a little bit. "Dad taught me, but trust me, it's my first time." I could see the confused look on Maggie's face and I knew that something was wrong. "I can't tell," Maggie said, coming back up to look at Lori. Oh yeah, I was getting a really bad feeling about this.
Lori nodded at Maggie and took a few deep breaths. "I gotta push," Lori told Maggie who just nodded in response with a small OK. "I gotta push," Lori repeated as she pushed. She grunted and made small sounds of effort as she pushed but it seemed like no matter how much she pushed, we were getting nowhere in the labor process.
"Somebody!" Maggie screamed out, startling me from Lori's body. It didn't matter how loud Maggie screamed though, no one was on this side of the prison and they most likely wouldn't be for a while. Until they were able to get a search party together, and I had no idea who had even made it besides us, Beth, and Hershel.
"I'm okay, I'm okay. I'm okay," Lori tried to console Maggie.
Maggie nodded and stared at Lori as she tried to push as hard as she could. "You're doing great, Lori. Just keep doing it. Your body knows what to do. Let it do all the work." I watched for a moment and winced when Lori gave a small yelp of pain. Yeah, this whole thing had to hurt like a bitch. "You're doing great. Lori, don't push- stop. Something's wrong." I looked up and went to Lori's feet. I saw that there was a lot of blood. More than I thought was supposed to come out.
Carl shook his mom as her eyes started to roll into the back of her skull. She was losing too much blood too fast. "Mom? Mom, look at me, look at me. Keep your eyes open. We have to get you back to Dad," Carl told his mother. I could hear his voice breaking and my heart broke for him. He knew what was happening and so did I. One of them wasn't going to make it and Lori was going to make sure it was her baby.
Lori confirmed my thought when she opened her eyes and looked up at her son with a tiny smile. "I'm not gonna make it," she told him and I felt my heart shatter in two. Rick needed to be here.
"Lori, with all this blood, I don't even think you're fully dilated yet. No amount of pushing is gonna help," Maggie told her.
Lori nodded and I could tell that she was coming to terms with what was about to happen. She nodded and coughed. "I know what it means, and I'm not losing my baby. You've gotta cut me open," she told Maggie. I looked at Maggie and saw the fear in her eyes. She didn't want to be the one to have to do that.
"No. I can't," Maggie cried.
Lori looked at her and shook her head grabbing Maggie's hands. "You don't have a choice," Lori told her. She was right, it wasn't Maggie's choice whether or not to save Lori. It was her own and she had made the decision. And that was to save the baby. That would be our last grant of Lori's wishes.
Maggie shook her head and started to get up. "I'll go for help."
"No!" Lori cried, grabbing Maggie's arm and pulled her back down to the floor.
Maggie sighed and stared at Lori. "Look, Carol is the one that practiced that. Dad only taught me the steps, Lori. If I-" Maggie tried to argue, but Lori cut her off.
Lori began to cry while looking at Maggie and I felt the tears rise to my own eyes. "Please," Lori begged. I could see Maggie's resolve start to die but I knew that she was going to try a little longer to not get Lori to give up.
"I have no anesthetic, no equipment-" Maggie tried, but once more Lori cut her off.
Lori shook her head and motioned to Carl's waistline. "Carl has a knife. So does Rain. Use hers. It's sharper. Actually, Rain, will you do it?" I stared in utter shock. What the hell did she ask me? I didn't know how to deliver a damn baby. I started to stutter but Lori cut me off. "Rain, you have the hunting experience. You know how to skin animals and you know where the vital organs are. You know how to do this Rain. You are a hunter, you know how to gut the animals," Lori told me.
"Animals Lori! You are a human. I have less experience than Maggie! You won't survive. There's no way. I can't do it, I won't do it," I told her. I hated to do it, but I didn't want to be responsible for the death of Lori.
She looked at me and grabbed my hand. "Have Maggie stand over you and instruct you on what to do. My baby has to survive. Please. My baby for all of us. Please, Rain! Please!" Lori took a few gasps and I patted her on the chest. "Please," she begged. I stared at her for a moment before nodding. "You see my old C-section scar?" Lori asked. I looked and say the long scar on her stomach.
Oh God, what if I do it and I cut into the baby? "I can't," I somehow managed to rasp out. I was way too afraid to do this. What if I ended up killing both of them? Then Lori will have died for nothing.
Lori shook her head and grabbed my hands. "You can. You have to," I nodded to her. It was her last wish and I had to respect that she knew that there was no way she would survive this. "Carl? Baby, I don't want you to be scared, okay? This is what I want. This is right. Now you- you take care of your daddy for me, all right? And your little brother or sister, you take care-" She stared before being interrupted by Carl.
"You don't have to do this," he told her. I looked over and I saw that the boy was on the verge of tears. Watching the exchange between the two of them, I felt my eyes start to water too but I blinked the tears back. I needed to be able to see to do the operation.
Lori smiled at her son and pulled him down next to her. "You're gonna be fine. You are gonna beat this world. I know you will. You are smart, and you are strong, and you are so brave, and I love you."
"I love you too," he choked out.
Lori looked at her son and put her hand on the side of his face. "You gotta do what's right, baby. You promise me, you'll always do what's right. It's so easy to do the wrong thing in this world. So don't- so if it feels wrong, don't do it, all right? If it feels easy don't do it. Don't let the world spoil you. You're so good. You're my sweet boy. The best thing I ever did. I love you. I love you. You're my sweet, sweet boy. I love you. Okay- okay, now. Okay." Lori was by now full out crying, saying her final goodbye to her son. "Rain, when this is over, you're gonna have to-" Lori started before I cut her off.
"Shh-" I hushed her. I knew that we would have to shoot her in the head to prevent her from coming back. When she went from this life, I wanted her to go for good. Never have to stay here in the shell of what she had once been.
She looked at me and took my hand. "You have to do it. It can't be Rick. All right all right. It's all right. It's all right. Whew, whew Good night, love," she told me before closing her eyes. I knew at that point, she was ready.
I reached into my pocket and pulled out my knife. I clicked it open and held it at the base of Lori's stomach, right on top of the scar. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry Lori. I didn't want this to happen. I'll watch after Rick and Carl," I promised her. I saw the smile on her face and I knew that now she would die content. Knowing that people were there to watch after her family for her. I dug the knife in, not even an inch and Lori let out an Earth shattering scream. I tried to squeeze my eyes shut, but I forced myself to keep them open, I had to pay attention to what I was doing. Her screams stopped and Carl nearly threw himself on top of me.
"What are you doing to her?" He asked me. I ignored him and felt Lori shudder, then stop. With that, I knew that she had passed on. I panicked and started to move the knife faster. I didn't want Lori to come back while I was still doing the procedure.
When I had finally finished the cut, I let Maggie take over, while I pulled the skin apart slightly. I looked down and saw that I was completely drenched in blood. Lori's blood. "Okay, come on I see it. I see the ears," Maggie told me while she grabbed one of the appendages. "I'm gonna pull it out. I can't tell if this is the arm or the leg," she said taking a long look at the infant.
"Pull the baby out. Doesn't matter, we'll figure it out when we get it out," I told her. I was still panicking that Lori wouldn't come back, but was still trying to be careful so we didn't accidentally kill the baby. I reached into her stomach and felt what I thought was the torso. I wrapped my hand around it and looked at Maggie. "Okay," I told her before giving it a big yank. The baby pulled free and a disgusting squelching sound came out, along with a lot of blood. If I hadn't been drenched in blood before, I sure was now. Carl gasped at the sight of his new sister from the looks at it, who was crying, thank God. We would have to get her to Hershel to see if she was actually OK. I handed the baby to Maggie, who wrapped her up and stood up, myself following suit. "We have to go," I told the two of them.
Carl stood there and I was about to tell him that he had to go when he motioned to his mother. "We can't just leave her here. She'll turn," Carl said. I looked at her and knew that we had to do it. I raised my knife and went over to Lori's corpse.
I had only taken a few steps when I was stopped by Carl. "No," he told me.
"Carl-" I started, before he cut me off.
He looked at me and shook his head. "She's my mom," he told me, tears running down his face, and Maggie sobbing behind us. "No more kids' stuff. People are gonna die. I'm gonna die. Mom. There's no way you can ever be ready for it," he told me. He pulled out his gun and I nodded. I walked over to the corner and stood with Maggie. I held her to me, being mindful of the baby when I turned back. Carl was standing over his mother, and even when I knew he was going to pull the trigger, it still surprised me. The gunshot seemed louder than it normally was and now, I finally let my tears fall. As Carl walked up to us, I opened the door and listened to Carl shoot the walkers that still remained. With my body on autopilot, I walked out to the yard, with the tunnels seeming to close in, and the world felt like it was spinning. We had finally made it to the door that led outside, and I could hear our group talking right outside them.
I heard Rick's voice first and my sobs came even harder. "We're going back. Daryl and Glenn, you come with-" I heard as I opened the door. Oh thank God, at least Daryl was alive. I walked out first, I had been a few feet ahead of Maggie and Carl. I saw the look of utter shock on my group member's face when I walked out into light, probably looking like one of the walkers.
"Oh my God. Rain. What the hell happened to you?" Daryl asked me as he and Rick started to approach me. My tears were now unstoppable as Rick came within a few feet of me. It wasn't even a heartbeat later, when Maggie and Carl walked out of the tunnels. I heard the baby crying and I looked Rick dead in the eyes. I knew that he was putting two and two together and he had figured out that his wife was no longer with us.
His eyes started to water as he looked at me. "Where- where is she? Where is she?" He asked me as the first tear started to fall. I shook my head and he burst into tears, and went to run past me.
"No Rick, no!" I called after him, trying to grab onto him, but he ripped his arm from me.
He walked over to Carl and bent down beside his son. "Oh, no. No! No! No!" With all of the energy gone from him, he dropped to his knees, falling to the ground and crying. I dropped down and Daryl pulled me into him. The silence was deafening, the only cries being Rick and the baby's cries, reminding us all of what had just happened. I staggered to my feet with the help of Daryl, and I watched as Rick picked up and axe, running into the area we had just come out of. I knew what he was doing, he was going to go take his anger out on the walkers. I let myself fall to my knees as my vision faded out. Daryl caught me before I fell and dragged my limp body into the cell block. I could have been attacked by walkers as this point and I wouldn't have cared. I had done it. I had killed Lori. She was dead and it was my fault. Me. Rick was devastated because of me. I felt myself being thrown down and I registered that I had dropped onto the cot that we shared.
I let my head fall into my hands, and I tensed when I felt Daryl's arms wrap around me. "Shh Rain. It'll be OK. You didn't do anything. It wasn't you," he tried to console me.
I didn't know what had come over me, but I let my sadness over Lori turn into anger, and I was about to turn it on Daryl. "What the hell do you know?!" I shrieked at him. I immediately felt a twinge of guilt when I saw the look on his face, but I shook it off. The anger was coming out and I couldn't stop it now. "It was my fault! Lori's death was my fault!" Daryl tried to ask me what had happened, but I cut him off. I knew what he wanted to know. "We were running through the tunnels. We were doing OK, looking for a way away from the walkers when all of a sudden Lori bent over. She was going into labor, so we ran into a boiler room. She was pushing and everything was going fine until she started bleeding. Real bad too. Maggie told her to stop pushing and after a while Lori knew that she would have to have a C section. She knew she wouldn't survive. Maggie was gonna do it but Lori stopped her. Told me to do it. I had more experience skinning and gutting an animal. I did it, and I tried to keep her alive Daryl, I tried. But I couldn't. She died. And we got the baby. But Carl- He- he had to shoot his own mother. He didn't want her to come back as a walker. I was gonna do it, but he said that it had to be him. She told me to do it but still. I killed her Daryl. I killed Lori!" I shrieked the last part at him, angry for everything, even though I knew that he hadn't done anything. I was no longer crying, and my normal vision had returned, but it felt like there was nothing left in me.
Daryl sighed and pulled me into him. I knew that he was trying to process what I had just told him, since he was silent. After a few minutes, he pushed me forward and grabbed my hands. "Rain, what happened to Lori wasn't your fault. She wanted it Rain. She wanted her baby to live, and she knew that she had to die in order for that to happen." I shook my head at him and dropped my face. He quickly grabbed my chin and forced me to look at him. "Do you know why she asked you to do it, and not Maggie? Really why she asked you?" I shook my head at him, my curiosity now piqued. "Because she knew that you were strong. Maggie is strong too, but not like you. You've been through so much. You've seen so much that no person has ever had to see, and you've come back from it all. Lori knew that. Rain, it wasn't a secret that when you joined us, you didn't trust us and that you didn't like us. We all knew that. But somehow, you let yourself in to us. And we all grew to love you. We saw that you were more than the tough girl with a rough childhood. That you were a kind, loving, amazing woman. That was why Lori picked you. That's why I love you."
I stared blankly at Daryl for a moment before leaning in and giving him a quick kiss. He had just said one of the hardest things for him to say. "I love you too," I told him attempting at a smile. I sighed though, I should tell him. He should know why I was so scared of being in this prison. "You asked what was wrong with me when I saw Axel. Do you still want to know?" I asked him. He nodded his head and dropped my hands. I sighed and crossed my legs. This was gonna be a long story.
I had been about to start my story when Daryl cut me off. "Rain, if you don't want to tell me, you don't have to. Not today at least." I smiled at him but shook my head.
"No Daryl, I need to tell you this. It's only fair that you know absolutely everything important about me that there is to know. And this is important." He nodded and I took a few deep breaths preparing myself to tell a story that I had never told anyone. "I knew Axel once. A long time ago. When I was 16 I met him. Not for a long time, but I briefly knew him." Daryl nodded and I sighed, I had started the story and now I had to finish it. "Anyways, I told you that I left the house when I was 14 right?" I asked him. He nodded at me. "Well, my uncle actually let me stay with him. Not that he really took care of me, it was just a place to go. But he told me when I first moved in that I could stay until I was 16. And that's what I did. The day after my 16th birthday, true to his word, my uncle kicked me out. I had hoped that he would let me stay, but I knew that he wouldn't. So I left, with no place to go. I had been working, so I saved up enough for a cheap, sleazy hotel. Stayed there for a few weeks but I was running out of money, so I was forced to leave. My first night out on the streets I was walking down some barely lit road. Huge guy came walking down from the other side. I was terrified but I wasn't gonna let him see that, so I stood tall and kept walking. Although at 16, I was barely 5 feet. Guy knew I would be no match so he walked over to me. Tried a few times to get me to talk, but I stayed silent. I was just looking for a place to duck inside but everywhere was closed. Guy figured I had something on me so he jumped me. I tried to fight him off but he was winning. He had a gun, I had no choice. I pulled out my pocket knife, and I stabbed. I tried to get him somewhere non vital, so I hit him in the leg. He fell off of me and I went to run, but I saw all of the blood. More than there should have been. I realized it then, I had hit his femoral artery," I told Daryl.
He was still silent, so I took that as a sign that I could continue. "Anyways, the guy freaked out. He was crying and screaming. Didn't take long for the cops to come. Four of 'em came, surrounded us. He was putting on a real show for them, screaming and crying that I had a knife, I was some delinquent that had attacked him. With a knife in my hand and blood all over me it was an easy story for them to buy. Wasn't a minute after that that he went into some sort of shock and died right there. They tried, believe me they tried to save him but they couldn't. He had lost too much blood and he wasn't coming back. They grabbed me by the shoulders. I tried to tell them that I was just a homeless kid and that he had jumped me but they didn't buy that story. I got thrown in the back of the cop car and brought into custody. The next morning, I was brought to the county jail. It still wasn't real to me though, I had killed a man. It may have been in self-defense and an accident, but still. I was a murderer now." I stopped my story and looked over to gauge a reaction from Daryl.
He was staring at his hands intently. He was obviously trying to process the entire story. It was a lot of information to take in, and there was about to be a lot more. "Anyways, I spent three months there until they finally cleared the crime as self-defense. It wasn't too bad just to be there in prison, it was a place to stay, but the shit that happened to me there was fucked up. I hadn't even been there a few days before the looks started, from all of the male prisoners. It wasn't like they got many female inmates, and most of those men hadn't had any in quite a while. I knew what they wanted, so I tried to stay away as best as I could. But I was the young, fresh, meat and most of the female prisoners were either coked out or probably a man."
"It had been a few weeks and I'd done pretty well avoiding the men, but one night, they managed to break into my cell. It wasn't like the guards cared. They got paid and the prisoners weren't trying to break out. Anyways, three men broke into my cell and they grabbed me. Two ripped the uniform off while the other just sat there laughing. He unbuckled his pants and let them drop. I tried to fight them off, but they were fully grown men that were good fighters. There was no way I could get out. The only thing I could say was that I left quite a few nasty scars on them. Anyways, they got my uniform off and threw me down to the ground. Their leader just grabbed me by my hair and pulled me around. He grabbed me by my shoulders and pulled me up to him. He asked why I wasn't crying, but I stayed silent. He didn't deserve to hear me beg for mercy, or to see me cry. With no mercy, he just did it. No warning, no nothing. Hurt like hell, and was the most embarrassing ting to ever happen to me. He finished and pulled out. Blood was everywhere. I'll never forget his words to me. 'Don't cry, you're a woman. Take it like one.' They treated me like an animal, passing me between the three of them all night. They didn't leave until the sun was rising. It wasn't the first time that I had ever expected to happen."
I looked at Daryl's face, and I saw everything. Anger, horror, pity, and pure fury. I knew that he was about to crack, but my story wasn't done. "I didn't sleep that night. Just grabbed the uniform, pulled it on with a blanket, and laid in my bed. The guard walked in the next morning and laughed. 'Sounded like you had a fun night.' He saw the blood on the floor and cracked up. Let me out and I tried to walk, but I couldn't. Just fell back down. He brought me my food, and I laid there, all day. Didn't move. Finally at night, the men came back in. It was the same first guy, just with a new sidekick. I tried to fight again that night, but once more I lost. It became a nightly thing, and after a while, I just stopped fighting. It wasn't worth the beatings. I got into the habit of smoking, cigarettes at first. Every day, all day long. Soon, they weren't enough, I needed something stronger. That was when I turned to the alcohol. I drank every night, and they eventually just became drunk fucks. I was so used to them that they were nothing anymore. I just took them. Not long after that, the marijuana use started, and then the heavier shit. Ecstasy, shrooms, cocaine. It was hard to come by, but the nights in my cell were what paid my debts off. They were coming in anyways so why not get something out of it? It was mostly just to become numb to the whole thing. I couldn't take it, so I wanted a way to pretend that it didn't exist."
Daryl's look broke my heart. I had never seen him look so disappointed in me. Tears rose to my eyes, but I needed to finish the story, I couldn't leave it there. "It went like that for a little over a month before I finally met Axel. He had been transferred into the prison, and I met him right as he moved in. We had the same guard that came to retrieve us, so I met him on his first day there. Turned out he already knew who I was. He came up to me one day asking if I was Rain. I nodded and told him I was, thinking he was gonna try to make an exchange with me, but that wasn't what he wanted. Instead, he asked me if he wanted to stay in his cell. I asked him why and he told me something that I'd never forget. 'You're a beautiful young woman. Don't do this to yourself, you are so much more than this. Don't let these men bring you down to their level. They have nowhere to go in life, you only can go up. And I know that you can. Looking at you I can tell, this isn't you. You only do this to numb the pain. I used to do it too. Stay in my cell tonight, you'll be under protection with me, the guard in my area won't let those men anywhere near you. If you don't like it, you can leave in the morning and never come back. Just give it a shot.' I agreed with him and stayed the night. We stayed up all night and nothing happened. We talked, I told him about my life and he told me about mine. And when we went to bed, it was the first night that I hadn't slept in fear, or coming down from a high. I spent the next few nights there and it quickly became my new home." I stopped my story to take a deep breath.
I wanted to finish it and get to hear what Daryl had to say. By the look on his face, I could tell that it was nothing good. It was now just a blank stare, one that shattered my hopes that he would still love me. "Anyways, that was when the withdrawals started. It was the worst pain that I'd ever felt. Well maybe not all that shit that happened after the farm but you get the point. They were horrible and I just wanted more. I wanted to be high, and I wanted to be numb. Axel was there for me though, he was with me every step of the way. Whenever I was getting weak, he was always there to remind me of why I was giving it up. He was the reason that I quit on the drugs. But anyways, right after I was detoxed, I got the news that the death of the man who mugged me was deemed self-defense. I was free. It was also that day that I learned that Axel was going to be transferred to another Georgia prison. I guess this was it. But anyways, I got out and I stayed at a home for troubled youth until I graduated and saved up enough money to get an apartment. I started college and I got my life together. The only thing was, sex was nothing for me anymore. The special feeling that I was supposed to get the first time was stolen from me, so it's never really meant anything to me. And the alcohol use never stopped either. I drank all the way until the shit hit the fan, I wasn't drunk to the point that I had been in prison, but it was still bad. There are plenty of nights that I don't remember. That was what I wanted, to forget everything. To forget my family, and everything after losing them. I owe Axel a thank you, he saved my life and I never got to thank him."
I stared up at Daryl, hoping that there would be some type of reaction, but I saw nothing. He had a blank stare on his face and was looking down at his hands. My eyes started watering as I realized that he had no idea what to say, and he looked like he wasn't going to say anything for the foreseeable future. "Daryl, please say something. Anything. Scream if you have to, just say something," I pleaded with him. I had to hear his voice, I had to know if he still felt the same way that he had before I had told him all of this.
He looked at me and opened his mouth, however a call came up to us. "Daryl. Rain. The baby needs some type of nourishment and Rick is nowhere to be found right now. I'm sorry to ask, but can you both come down here and give us a hand?" I stared at Daryl, who shook his head, stood up and turned to the staircase.
"We'll be right down," he called to Hershel. Looking back at me, he shook his head again and walked to the edge of the perch to grab his crossbow. I sat in silence for a moment wishing that I had never said anything. He hated me. He hated what I had done and now I was paying for it. He would never speak to me again. He thought I was disgusting. I let my head drop into my arms and silently wished that one of those walkers had gotten me today. I didn't deserve to have these people in my life and I sure as hell didn't deserve to be alive.
A/N: Well... Definitely not the happiest chapter I've ever had. But things will get better! At least now you all know why Axel was so familiar to Rain and why she didn't want him to recognize her. As for Rain, a lot more of her back story has been revealed now and we have some insight as to why she is the way she is. But not to fear, there is still more of Rain's story to be told! Anyways, I had a lot of free time this week so that's why this chapter was out so fast. But anyways, I hope you guys liked the chapter even though it was a lot darker than it normally is. As always, thank you for the follows and favorites from Kasi Sera Marine, MewMewAnimeFreak, Meliara422, texasDalek, khamilton16, MissDamagedGooods, Allmakebelieve and mrnoobishdude123. And of course a huge thank you to my guest reviewer! Please review! It makes me happy! -A