Title: So This Is Christmas
Author: ZombieJazz
Fandom: Chicago PD
Disclaimer: I don't own them. Chicago PD and its characters belong to Dick Wolf. The character of Ethan has been created and developed for the sake of this AU series.
Summary: The Voights attempt to have a happy holiday season while continuing to deal with Ethan's health challenges, the changing family dynamic with new additions to the family, and Erin's growing relationship with Jay Halstead. This is a short set of chapters set after the Interesting Dynamics story of this AU.
SPOILER ALERT: There are some minor spoilers in this story related to the outcome and upcoming chapters of Interesting Dynamics. Likely nothing entirely unexpected, but you've been warned.
"You know, if you let me help, we might actually get to play a little before dinner," Michelle muttered at Ethan.
He glanced up at her from lining up all the little fences and enclosures that she got the sense were the houses and the hotels for the game. "No, I'm good," he said.
She let out an exasperated sigh at him. "OK," she huffed. "But can I be the banker?" Ethan shook his head. "Why not?" she demanded.
"'Cuz I'm always the banker," he told her flatly.
She crossed her arms and shifted in the uncomfortably, barely padded chair that had been set up in the supposed little "den" at the Voight's house. She wasn't too picky about locations or living environments. But with the table set up in there there was barely room to move and that was pretty much just way too much closeness to Ethan.
Ethan was about the weirdest kid she'd ever met. And she'd met some pretty weird – and scary – girls when she was in juvie. But Ethan was just different in a whole other way. She liked him enough but you had to be in the right kind of mood to really sort of put up with him. But she'd already gotten the lectures from Alvin – and Antonio – about being nice to him. He was younger than her. And he was all screwed up in the head. She got that he had a brain injury. That sometimes he acted younger than he was. And a lot of times he was just as impulsive as fuck with his decision making and said and did some stupid things. But most of the time he was just kind of weird. A little off. And lately, he was pretty much a sick little boy. And she got that too. She felt a little sorry for him – even though her dad and Antonio told her she shouldn't treat him like that either. That it'd likely just make him and his family upset.
Putting up with him like this made it a lot less easier to feel sorry for him. Right now he was mostly just being annoying.
She leaned forward and gazed into the box that he was so meticulously pulling the little pieces out of – because apparently they all needed to sit in neat rows on the table before they started and not just pulled out of the box. She grabbed the little dinosaur skull token and placed it at the start of the board.
Ethan glanced over at it. Eyeing it and then looked at her. "You can't use that one."
Michelle glared at him. "You said you were going to be the Jeep."
"Yea," he confirmed. "But I like that one too. So you can't use it. Not the first time."
She rolled her eyes at him. "You're so retarded," she mumbled as she returned the little metal figurine to the box.
He watched her. "You shouldn't use that word here. My dad doesn't like it."
She eyed him and darted her eyes over to the kitchen. She wasn't sure how she felt about Ethan's dad. Honestly, it was a little intimidating. Not that she liked admitting that about anyone. And they really hadn't had a lot of interaction. But the interaction they had was definitely awkward. She sort of got the impression that maybe he didn't like her for some reason. But Ethan told her that his dad didn't like anyone.
Michelle thought that was a fairly accurate assessment because the few times that it was Hank who was picking Ethan up from the gym and not Erin, she definitely got the impression he didn't even like Ethan very much. But Ethan sure seemed to like his dad. Like a weird amount. He bragged about who his dad was. Michelle also didn't really think he was something or someone to brag about. But Antonio said Hank was just a person who took time – like her dad. And Alvin was nice enough.
Actually, Alvin was pretty decent. Really decent considering the previous father-figure types she'd had to put up with in her life that her mom had had around. He was totally different. He seemed like a good guy. And he was kind of sweet. He did nice enough things for her – now that he knew she existed anyways.
And she knew that Alvin was pretty tight with Hank. That they'd known each other forever or something. So even though it was sorta weird to spend Christmas with them, it was also sorta nice. Like the dinner smelled really good. And Alvin had tried to make it sound like Hank was some kind of Master Chef when he talked her into eating there. Really, it just sounded better than pasta or the iHop, which seemed like would've ended up as the other options after basically spending all day on the road. All day on the road for a pretty shitty visit. But visiting in jail was shitty. It was just worse because Mom looked like she was going to cry the whole time but was trying not to cry. She was really going to hate having to spend three more Christmases like that. But at least she got to see her mom.
She let out a little inward sigh but it must've been louder than she meant and Ethan glanced at her. "What thing can I be?" she barked at him instead.
He shrugged at her. "The entrance?" he suggested.
She rolled her eyes but retrieved it and very firmly planted it in the starting square. Being annoyed with Ethan was kind of pointless, though. He was usually super oblivious to that kind of stuff. It was like the kid had Tourette's and autism and Asperger's all mixed together and then shook like Muhammad Ali. But the one time she actually called him Muhammad, he'd be sure to tell her that he had multiple sclerosis, not Parkinson's. Like there was a difference. Either way he was pretty much fucked.
"So were you just opening presents all day or something that you didn't play this yet?" she mumbled at him.
He gave her another little glance from attempting to peel the plastic off the new piles of little paper bills. With the way his hands were shaking it was going to take a while. They so weren't going to be playing this game before dinner. But she sorta thought that might be a good thing.
"No," Ethan said. "We were at the hospital last night—"
"WHY?" she cut him off. "Antonio told me you got out a couple days ago."
Ethan shrugged. "I had a bunch of seizures so Dad made us go."
She gaped at him but he apparently had been brain washed into thinking that all the time he spent in the hospital was basically normal.
"So we didn't get home until morning," he continued. "So then we slept. So it was late. And then we had breakfast. Then we did stockings. Then we watched a movie. Then we opened presents. Then we played with presents. Justin got me a R/C helicopter! And I got a videogame! Jurassic Park too. Then Dad made me go rest because we were up so late. Then you guys came over."
She just looked at him. That was a more detailed rundown of events than she expected and she was kind of more interested in the first part before he gave her their day's itinerary. But she just reached out and pulled the bills out of his hands.
"At least let me take the plastic off for you," she muttered at him.
He gazed at her. Like total puppy eyes. But she could tell they were embarrassed. Ethan was funny that way. Sometimes he tried to be like this total badass but it was really hard to see him that way. But the kid could drop an F-bomb bad when his sister or dad – or Antonio – wasn't around to hear it. She'd seen him trying to be all tough guy big shot with some of the older guys at the side door of the gym too – puffing on a fucking cigarette. Like he needed lung problems on top of all the bullshit he already had going on. And he totally didn't get most of the guys were making fun of him when he did it.
She'd stuck up for him a few times because he was too little and too oblivious to be teased. Like even she knew he had a lot on his plate. You shouldn't kick kids like Ethan when they were already down. He was going to have enough hard knocks. But it just seeped off him how much he wanted to be "normal" or "fit in". He wasn't ever going to do either of those things, though. She knew it. And she knew it in her own life too. She got what it was like to be the outsider and the outcast. Sometimes you just needed to cope. And it was usually best to give the assholes wide berths in the process. And if Ethan couldn't do that for himself, she could at least help him out at the gym.
Antonio and the other coaches were pretty good and keeping the idiots in their places or out of the gym entirely – but they couldn't always be looking. And the kind of boys at the kind of age that the club attracted – Ethan needed some support now and then. She didn't feel so bad about it, though. She'd once seen the Jay guy from her dad's work cornering some kids who'd been teasing Ethan too. She figured that was an indication that you were allowed to stand up for him. Supposed to.
"You know what you should try?" she put to him as she picked the plastic wrapper off.
"What?" Ethan asked. He'd already started on the next wrapper, even though it was likely going to be just as futile process as the first. She easily got the plastic off and retrieved it from his hand again – instead handing him the paper money to count or sort or whatever the fuck it was that he was doing.
"Handwraps," she said. He gazed at her. "Might help," she offered. "Maybe it'd help you control the shaking or at least hide it. And it'd give you extra padding on the crutches. So you don't get blisters or whatever."
"Yea, maybe," he near whispered and looked away.
She gazed over at the crutches. It'd been weird seeing him using them when they came in the door. Really weird. It was like just adding to the visual of how sick he was. Or at least how much his life had changed. It was like he was shaking when she'd met him but it'd definitely gotten more apparent and he seemed kind of unsteady on his feet and just held his one leg funny. And she knew from Antonio that when you were grappling with Ethan you had to play fair – he didn't have peripheral vision so keeping off to the side of him and walloping him constantly in the side of the just wasn't good sportsmanship. But since him being in the hospital that month, it was like all of it seemed way more real.
The Youth Boxing League had sent him a card and stuff. And Antonio had given them some updates on how he was doing. But they hadn't gone into the hospital to see him. Apparently Hank didn't like that kind of thing. Seemed kind of shitty since they were sorta of his friends – even if they were people in a club to beat him up. And, she just didn't get the sense he had many friends. She got that too. She didn't either. At least he had Erin and Jay. He seemed tight with them. She had Antonio. She got he was her coach and her dad's co-worker and all that. And she sort of got that he was kinda treating her like a surrogate daughter with his whole divorce thing. But still. It was kinda of nice to have something that resembled a friend.
Maybe they weren't allowed to visit him in the hospital because he looked way worse than this. Things had to be pretty bad if he was having seizures and was in the hospital on Christmas Eve. That seemed pretty intense. But he seemed more or less OK now. Minus the crutches and the fact that it looked like there was some sort of fault-line in his arm with the way it was shaking. And he was really, really pasty looking like he hadn't had a proper meal in forever. But hospital food …
"You gonna come back to boxing now that you're outta the hospital?" she asked.
Ethan shrugged at her again. "Maybe," he said.
"Your dad not want you to? Because 'Tonio could talk to him for ya."
"I just don't want to really see people yet," he said quietly. She could understand that. But she didn't really know what to say. He glanced at her. "What'd you do today? Open presents at your dad's?"
She allowed a little shrug. "Yea," she contended. "Then he went and saw his daughter for a bit. Then we went and saw my mom."
"In jail?" Ethan asked.
She shrugged again. It was common knowledge. That sucked. "Yea," she allowed, though.
He gave a little nod. "We had to visit my dad and brother in jail one year," he said quietly. "It sucked."
She gazed at him. She hadn't heard that before. "Really?"
Ethan nodded. "But dad decided not to come visit because he didn't want the criminals to see his family."
"Wait," Michelle gaped at him. "Wasn't he a criminal if he was in jail?"
Ethan shrugged. "It wasn't like real jail. It was like … lock up?"
She stared at him. "I think that's the same thing."
Ethan shrugged again. "He says it wasn't real jail. But Justin was in real jail. Me and Erin got to visit him but it was weird. And me and Erin still did stockings and stuff. And took him his. But we didn't have turkey for dinner. We had Happy Meals. Chicken nuggets. And then watched movies all night." He let out a little sigh. "It sucked. I hope your Christmas didn't suck …"
"Well, we ain't eating chicken nuggets," she offered.
Ethan gave a little nod. "Dad makes good gravy," he offered. "And stuffing and cranberry sauce. And gingerbread cake with the sauce. It's awesome. It's like … liquid brown sugar! It's really good. It's my grandma's recipe."
She gave him a thin smile. "Sounds good," she offered.
It did. And she'd had worse Christmases. She'd had her own Christmas where she was actually the one in jail. But it was still kinda hard that year. And as cool as Alvin was being – as nice to her – it was still strange to be sorta with him. And to kinda know he had this other family who'd he rather be with but who he couldn't be with because of her.
She'd really prefer to just be home with her mom and for them to be making their own Christmas cookies and having their own prime rib. None of this turkey junk. And sharing a giant candy cane all day while hanging out in fuzzy socks and watching some lame TV box set her mom had picked for the holidays. Totally binge the whole series before she had to go back to school. But instead they'd basically crept along a highway covered in snow to get to sit across from her mom for like thirty minutes and for both of them to pretend like they didn't want to cry. And for Alvin to try to figure out something to say. And he seemed decent enough about being there – now – but he really sucked at the whole communication thing. But she didn't really know what she wanted him to say anyways. She probably would've been pissed at him if he tried.
"Did you get anything good for Christmas at least?" Ethan asked.
She nodded a little more enthusiastically at that. "Yeah! I got the steelbox of the original Star Wars."
"I'm gonna to see Star Wars," Ethan said. "My brother is taking me."
"Yea, my dad is gonna take me on the holidays too," she agreed. "But this is the ORIGINAL. We're gonna watch it tonight when we get home."
"Never seen it," Ethan mumbled.
She squinted at him. "You've never seen Star Wars?" she said in some disbelief. "Ethan, you're like their prime demographic."
"I don't know what that means," he muttered. He was back to picking at plastic around the next pile of bills from him. She snatched it from him and did it herself.
"It means – HOW HAVEN'T YOU SEEN STAR WARS?!" she said to him as she whipped the plastic off and handed that wad of cash back to him.
He shrugged. "I don't know. Just haven't. I got a Star Wars comic in my stocking. But I haven't read it yet. The pictures are cool, though."
She gazed at him and then slapped her hands on the table. "You've totally got to see Star Wars before you go see the movie. At least the original one. We should have a movie marathon at the boxing gym!"
He squinted at her. "I don't know," he said like he'd just been backed into a corner.
"It'd be fun," she encouraged. "I'll ask 'Tonio! Project it on a sheet. Popcorn. It'd be awesome!"
He just gave her a look. She didn't get the sense he was going to come but she thought maybe she'd still mention it to Antonio. It might be a decent little fundraiser and he was always saying that they needed money to keep their programs coming.
"Anyways," she sighed. "Dad got me some wraps. Pink ones. Kinda cool. And this," she said lifting a pendant off his chest and flashing it at him, before gazing down at it herself. She'd never had anyone give her a necklace before. Except maybe her grandma when she was like two. But not anything fancy like this. Even though she knew it probably wasn't that fancy. But it was sparkly. And it was from her dad.
Ethan looked at it with vague interest. "Yea," he muttered. "I got my sister a necklace too. Girls like bling."
She snorted at him. "This isn't bling. It's just a necklace," she shrugged and looked at it again. "From my dad."
"Jay got Erin bling too," Ethan muttered. "A ring."
She gaped at him more. "Wait?! What?"
Ethan looked at her confused. "I got my sister a necklace and Jay got her a ring?"
"ETHAN! What kind of ring?" she demanded.
"I don't know. A pretty one," he shrugged. "I think it has a diamond."
She stared at him in disbelief and then rose from the table, shuffling around it and back out to the kitchen where Alvin was still holding court with Hank. It wasn't like they were even talking. They were just standing there like they were some sort of thugs on a street corner.
"Erin's getting married?!" she demanded of the two men. She wasn't even really sure which one she was asking. Or if she was asking or stating. But she got the answer from Hank just by the look on his face and the way his eyes bolted to the doorway of the den.
"ETHAN," he barked with a significant edge of annoyance to it.
"I didn't tell," Ethan called back – clearly completely unaffected by his dad's bark. "I just said she got a ring."
"An engagement ring?!" Michelle pressed.
"FILTER!" Hank barked even harder back at Ethan and shook his head while looking back at Al.
Al was giving him that look. So that look. He was so good at not speaking and just waiting for others to fill in the blanks. Michelle figured that was because he was a cop. Hank let out a sigh and held up a hand like he just wanted everyone to calm down.
Michelle was still completely gaping at them both while she waited for an answer. She could so tell that Erin and Jay were super serious. They were so flirty all the time whenever they were in the gym. She didn't think they worked out at all. They just made eyes at each other. But then they tots tried to downplay it when anyone ever cracked some joke about their relationship status. Even Ethan didn't like act like they were dating. But Ethan was also probably completely oblivious to it or in denial. For a kid who was so thick, sometimes she wondered how he'd even managed to get brain damaged in the first place. That must've been quite the hit he took.
Hank walked over to the bottom of their stairs and looked up it. "Erin," he barked. "Company's here. Stop being rude."
Michelle had been wondering where Erin was. But just figured she wasn't there yet or whatever. Ethan's brother and his wife and baby had been distraction enough to avoid having to spend the whole pre-dinner visit staring at Ethan. Now, though, the girl – woman, whatever … - was trotting down the stairs.
"Sorry," she muttered at Hank who made an unimpressed face at her.
Michelle stormed over before she could even get to the bottom of the stairs, though.
"You're getting married?!" she demanded again.
It was Erin's turn to gape and kind of looked at Hank and then glanced behind her up the stairs and Michelle saw that Jay was coming down now too. Both there. A ring. Totally getting hitched.
Hank gestured off into the den, where Ethan seemed to finally have clued in that he'd opened his big mouth and was sitting slouched a little sheepishly and avoiding eye contact. "Michelle has been setting up the Monopoly board with Magoo since you didn't want to play with him."
"Oh …" Erin said knowingly and let out a little sigh and looked to see that Al had come over. She gave him a thin smile. "Hi, Alvin. Merry Christmas."
He gave her a little nod and she diverted her eyes to Michelle and gave her a small smile too. But she seemed kind of hesitant to say anything.
Al, though, stepped forward. "So let's see it, Kid," he said.
She held out her hand and Michelle brushed forward to take a look at it too. Multiple diamonds. Definite sparkle. Yellow gold. And it looked heavy.
"Wow," she muttered.
But Al just gazed at Erin's hand a moment and then shifted his eyes up to her.
"Good job, Kid," he offered and then pulled her into a brief hug. Erin looked kind of awkward in it. Like arms straight not returning it for a second before reaching and giving him an embrace around the back.
"Thanks, Al," she said.
He pulled away and seemed to examine her for a moment. Like really look at her. This thin little smile pulling at the corner of his lips.
"Mmm…" was all he said, though. He gazed up at the stairs at Jay and gestured. "To this one?" he made a small face.
Erin gave a little shrug. "Apparently."
Alvin nodded as Jay finished coming down the stairs and stuck out a hand.
"C'mon, really?" Alvin shook his head at him. And stepped into a much manlier and briefer hug with him. Patting him hard on the back. Jay looked even more shocked and awkward about it than Erin had. Then he pulled back and gave Jay a much more serious look. "You know how long I've known this one?" he asked pointing at Erin.
Jay squinted at him and shrugged. "Don't know. Fifteen, sixteen years?" he offered.
Alvin nodded and then jammed a finger into his shoulder blade. "I'm watching you," he warned.
Then Alvin and Hank moved back toward the kitchen and Michelle stood there watching them go before turning back to Jay and Erin, who were looking slightly amused and slightly horrified.
"OK, that was frightening," Jay said.
Michelle gazed at them. If her dad said that to Jay – what was really frightening was what he'd ever say to one of her boyfriends when she brought them home. Correction – that might actually be terrifying.
AUTHOR NOTE: Two more chapters to complete the story. Still might do a few scenes from day after Christmas through New Years after that. Undecided. But they'd just be independent scenes and not ending towards a wrapped conclusion. So get ready for a possible end.