Chapter Twenty-Five

Alison sat on the floor for a while, Kylie beside her, as she tried to take in the reality of what had happened. She stared at the walls around her, touching things and trying to reacclimatize herself to the present day. Kylie sat with her quietly, seeing from the look in Alison's eyes that no questions should be asked. After Alison had not moved for some time, Kylie helped her up and led her to the bathroom down the hall.

"Here. You look filthy. Have a nice, hot shower and maybe things will look a little better."

It was a clear sign of Alison's shock that she didn't argue. Kylie made sure that Alison was all right, and left, closing the door behind her. Alison shed her clothes dazedly, and stepped into the shower, closing the curtains. She stood there for a moment, looking detachedly at the dials and trying to dredge up in her mind exactly how they worked. "It's been too long," she murmured softly. Slowly she moved them around, letting her muscle memory guide her.

She let out a hiss as the hot water hit her skin. Her baths in the opera house had been few and far between, and showers were nonexistent. She grabbed her soap and washed herself, enjoying the feeling of getting thoroughly clean for the first time since she went to Paris. Small compensation for everything I've lost, she reflected bitterly.

She still had not felt the effects of the change yet. Her mind was having trouble comprehending her true state of things. She was numb, inside and out.

She turned off the water, dried herself, and padded down the hallway back to the room she shared with Kylie.

As soon as she walked in the door, Kylie asked her, "What classes do you have today?"

Alison frowned. "What?"

"Classes," Kylie repeated impatiently. "You know, sit in a classroom and learn things. Which ones do you have today?"

"I don't remember," said Alison softly. "It's been…I've forgotten."

Kylie rolled her eyes. "For God's sake, it's only been eighteen days! How in the world can you completely forget your schedule in that short amount of time?"

Alison looked at her, eyes harder than they had been a second before. "It only seemed like eighteen days to you."

"Sorry, what?" Kylie asked. "What did it seem like to you?"

"I'll find my schedule, all right?" She turned away. "I've only been back here five seconds and already she's bossing me around again," she muttered in French. "This is ridiculous. I am twenty-two years old and I do not need to be treated like a little child."

"What is with all this French? You're only in French I. You just started learning it this year."

"Yes, and?"
"You've changed. What's happened to you?"

Alison closed her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose. "Kylie, please go away."

Kylie was shocked. "I'm only asking reasonable questions. You've been back for a couple minutes and you're already acting completely different. I'm concerned for you and–"

"I know!" Alison shouted. "But I'm not answering your questions. It's none of your goddamn business."

Kylie reached out to her, aware that she had done something wrong. "Alison…"

"Stop asking questions. This is all completely overwhelming and I don't want to talk about it, okay?"

"But–"

"Just. Leave. Me. Alone." Alison sank down on the bed and put her head in her hands. Her eyes darted around furiously behind her eyelids, trying to think past the pain and shock that was sinking into her brain. It was like swimming in a sea of molasses. She glanced up and checked the date on the calendar.

Okay, she thought, trying to focus. Today I have that memoir theater class and I think that's at 2:15. Lots of writing but not too much homework, if I recall correctly.

"What time is it?"

"Oh, so now you're only talking to me because you want something," Kylie snapped, offended.

"What time is it?" Alison repeated impatiently.

"One-thirty."

Alison nodded sharply. I've got enough time. It'll be okay. It'll all be fine. An image of Erik's horrified face as she disappeared flashed across her mind. With an effort of will, she pushed it away. Don't let yourself think about it until later. Keep your mind on the important things.

She got up, grabbed a random notebook and a pencil from her bed, and walked out of the room without saying anything to Kylie.

She wandered around campus, re-familiarizing herself with its layout. It had been three years, after all, and she had forgotten much of what she had learned about it. Everyone who saw her ran over to her and asked her where she'd been.

"In Paris," was her only response. There was no other answer she could give.

"Paris? Why Paris? And what was worth skipping school for?"

She shut their voices out and pushed past them impatiently. After getting lost a few times, she eventually made it to her classroom in the theater.

The teacher looked at her disapprovingly. "How nice of you to show up, Alison. Where have you been?"

"Paris," she answered dully. "I just got back." She took her seat silently and refused to say anything else.

She let her mind drift during class. It didn't seem important somehow. Fortunately, the teacher didn't call her out on it.

She was the first one out the door when class was over and she walked quickly back to her dorm in hopes of getting some peace to process everything that had happened. Unfortunately, she had no such luck.

When she pushed open the door to her room, Kylie's boyfriend Ethan was sitting on Alison's bed and laughing with Kylie. As Alison watched, he leaned in and kissed her. The whole scene sang with love and happiness, and it cut Alison to the quick. She stumbled backwards, knocking her leg on the doorframe with a soft thud.

Kylie and Ethan both looked at her, not understanding why she looked so horrified and sad.

"Alison, what…" Kylie began, but before she could finish, Alison ran out of the room. She barely managed to get into the bathroom before the tears hit. Images rushed into her mind like a fast-flowing river, and refused to stop.

Erik at his organ, completely absorbed in the new piece that he was creating. Erik holding her after a nightmare. Erik smiling at her with the tender, unguarded grin that she had loved so much. His lips. His hands. His face, both marred and smooth, scarred but perfect. His fingers on her cheek, his touch setting her skin on fire. Their day on the rooftop. How it felt to truly hold him for the first time. They felt so real that she turned around, almost expecting to see him there with her, but there was no one there.

Now that she was here, she knew that she would never see him again.

And she slid to the floor, crying harder. She wrapped her arms tightly around her abdomen, trying to keep herself whole while her heart broke into tiny pieces.

Alison fell into a dull routine. She went to class, didn't pay attention, and barely got through her homework. She spent most of her time sitting, staring at the wall in her room. Kylie grew more and more concerned about her each day. She had not asked Alison any questions since the first day, but was becoming curious. She waited impatiently for Alison to explain her strange behavior. After two weeks of silence, she could take it no longer. She barged in to their room after class and found Alison staring at the wall as she always did. Kylie grabbed her roughly and turned Alison's face so that she had to look her in the eyes.

"Alison, what is going on? Seriously, you're acting really weird. What happened during the time you were away? Were you kidnapped or something? And will you please explain what happened to Patrick? What did you mean when you said that he wasn't coming back?"

Alison tried to jerk her chin away, but Kylie's grip was too strong.

"Let go of me, Kylie," Alison said firmly.

"No," Kylie said, matching her tone. "Not until I get some answers."

Alison sighed. "Fine. I was in Paris and hung out at the Opera Populaire for a while. I was not kidnapped. And you want to know what happened to Patrick?"

"Yes, that would be nice. And I would think you'd be more concerned about your own boyfriend."

Alison froze and looked Kylie in the eyes, hostility in every line of her body. "Patrick is not my boyfriend."

"But I thought–" started Kylie.

"Not anymore." Alison's voice was cold and firm.

"Okay…"

"And he's dead."

"What?"
"I said, he's dead."

"No, I heard you," said Kylie slowly, shocked by her response. "But how? He was perfectly fine before."

Alison sighed. "It wasn't an illness or anything like that. He was killed."

"Who did it?"

Alison pulled her chin away from Kylie's unresisting fingers. "You asked for answers, I gave them to you. I don't want to talk about it, okay?"

"I appreciate that, but you've just told me that someone's been murdered. We need to get the police involved. We need to go after the murderer. We need –"

She was cut off by Alison's laugh. She laughed harder and harder as Kylie kept talking.

"What is so funny? There's been a murder! Of someone you know and used to like. Why are you reacting this way?"

Alison managed to control herself. "Because the man who killed him is impossible to catch. Even in his own world. And neither you nor any of the policemen in this town, this state, this country, or even this world, would ever be able to find him. In this world, he doesn't exist."

"You're speaking gibberish."

"It makes sense if you know." Alison replied.

There was a moment of silence as Kylie tried to puzzle this out.

"Okay, so even if this man is 'impossible to catch' (which I seriously doubt), why would he kill Patrick? What did Patrick do to him?"

Alison's eyes flicked up to meet Kylie's. There was a dark expression in them that Kylie hadn't seen before. "He didn't kill Patrick because of something that Patrick did to him."

Kylie was confused. "Then why did he kill Patrick?"

Alison's lips tightened and she didn't say anything.

"He must be a really mean person, to kill someone with no reason. What is he? Some kind of serial killer?"

"No."

Kylie grew frustrated. "Then what is he? What kind of man would do that? The only thing I'm getting from what you're saying is that this 'uncatchable man' is a horrible person."

"He's not a horrible person!" The words exploded out of Alison's heart. "He actually had a reason for what he did. He doesn't kill people randomly. That's not how his mind works. He always has a reason that seems appropriate in his own mind. He is not a horrible person, or a terrible one…or a monster. He's a human being like all of us. Why is this so difficult?"

Kylie held up her hands. "Okay, okay, sorry. I don't entirely understand why you're defending a murder, but…"

"Do not judge me." Alison said sharply. "You are in absolutely no place that you can do that. You don't know the circumstances of the murder. You don't know anything about this at all and so you can't decide what happened based on the little that you understand. You have no right at all."

"Okay, but if I know the circumstances of the murder, how can I understand? Will you at least tell me why Patrick was killed, so that I don't go on believing whatever false thing you've accused me of?"

Alison didn't speak for a moment, processing this.

Then finally, she said softly, "He killed Patrick because of something that Patrick did to me."

"What? Why?"

"I don't want to talk about it. I gave you the answers you were looking for. Now just leave me alone."

"Just tell me why this mysterious murderer would care so much."

"Because he loves me."

Kylie's eyes went wide. "Sorry, what?"

"He loves me," Alison said simply. Then her eyes were softened with doubt. "Loves…loved…oh God." She covered her eyes with a hand.

"This killer was the man who loved you?"

"Yes."

"Then what was his name?"

"His name…His name was… His name was E-" Her lips formed the letters of his name, but she didn't speak them out loud. The name that had bounced around in the cavern of her mind, waiting to be said. But she couldn't say it. Didn't want to conjure him up unless he was truly there. She was silent for a moment. When she spoke again, her voice shook with unshed tears. "I told you, just leave me alone about it, alright?"

"Okay," said Kylie, shocked. She knew that it would be unwise to push Alison further, not when she looked so fragile and sad.

She didn't understand what Alison's problem was, but she was determined to find out.

This was something of a transition chapter. Something major is going to happen in the next one, so stay tuned for that! Please review and make my day.