Chapter 25

Dean didn't put up a fight when he was dragged back to the storage room. He didn't say a word as the demon roughly handled him. He didn't look back to see what was happening to Castiel. He simply let himself be dropped onto the floor and shackled and then proceeded to curl up into a fetal position after he was left. He heard them shove Castiel into the room behind him and knock him to the floor. Dean listened as the door slammed shut and locked.

And then there was silence, save for Dean and Castiel's wheezing breaths. Neither one said anything for several minutes. Dean squeezed his eyes shut, the guilt of what had just happened overwhelming him. He had never in a million years wanted to hurt Castiel in such a way, but because of his careless actions he had allowed himself and Castiel to be trapped and put into that situation. He knew Castiel had to hate him right then. That he had to regret coming to save Dean. Dean knew he'd hate himself for it.

But what he hated the most was the sick sense of pleasure kissing Castiel had brought him. He hated admitting that touching Castiel so intimately, as horrific as the situation was, was also an incredible turn on. And that made Dean Winchester as sick of a pervert as Jasper.

Dean stayed turned towards the wall, too ashamed to face Castiel. He silently prayed that whoever was out there would save them from this Hell soon. That it would finally be over.

Suddenly, Castiel cleared his throat.

"Dean?" Castiel said weakly.

Dean's breath caught in his throat. He couldn't bring himself to answer.

"Dean?" Castiel voice grew stronger and Dean heard him shuffle closer. "Dean, are you alright?"

For a moment Dean was stunned. "What?" the hunter croaked out.

"Are you OK?" Castiel repeated. "You're never usually this quiet."

"You actually still want to talk to me?" Dean asked incredulously, his voice tinged with bitterness.

"Of course. Why wouldn't I?"

Dean turned at that point to look at the angel. Castiel was lying on the floor, propped up on one arm weakly, but looking at him quizzically.

"Are you serious?" Dean asked, his voice beginning to quaver. "I just almost fucking raped you, Cas!"

He saw his words hit home as Castiel's face fell. Castiel shifted so he was now sitting up, his wings tucked neatly behind him. Dean could see the sadness swimming in the angel's deep blue eyes.

"Dean… please… this isn't your fault… I'm the one to blame for all of this."

Castiel's words caught Dean completely off guard. The hunter's jaw dropped in shock before he shook his head furiously.

"No… no… don't say that… that's crap… you have no idea the things I've been thinking about these last few weeks, Cas… things you don't even wanna know about…"

"Dean, let me explain-"

"There's nothing to explain, Castiel! I am seriously screwed up. Way more than you'll ever know. Pulling me from the Pit was a really big mistake. I'm a monster. I'm probably worse than Jasper!"

Dean began to turn away from Castiel, not wanting to say more. But then he felt Castiel grab his arm and he couldn't help but look back. He saw Castiel's eyes narrowed furiously.

"Enough! Don't ever say anything like that again, Dean! You are not a monster. Don't ever compare yourself to vermin like Jasper! You are nothing like him!"

"But-"

"No," Castiel interrupted sternly. "You are not the one to blame for all this. I am. This is my fault because I never told you the complete truth about us. About what you and I were in the past."

Dean shook his head in confusion. "What the hell does that have to do with anything?"

"It has to do with everything! Jasper knew that I would always come for you, Dean. He knew about the bond we shared. I should have told you, but… I was afraid. I was afraid of what you would say. What you would think since you no longer had the memories of us."

Dean could feel his heart in his throat. He could tell by Castiel's tone that this was very important.

"What… what are you saying?"

Castiel dropped his gaze and closed his eyes. He swallowed nervously before speaking, his voice low and trembling.

"We were lovers… somehow… in all the commotion that was happening around us… I fell in love with you and you actually fell in love with me… I… I don't know when my feelings for you changed, but when Anna… attacked me, she changed into your form to do it… and that was when I knew for sure what my feelings for you were… and eventually you found out… but incredibly you loved me back. We were happy, but I thought we shouldn't be together… that my brethren would use our relationship against us… so I wiped your memory clean of it… but during the Apocalypse I fell… and you took me in… we became close and eventually our relationship grew again… but you found out what I had done and left… and I allowed myself to turn to Lucifer…"

Castiel let out a long sigh. "It was foolish… he tried to corrupt me… but you came to save me… and in the final battle against Lucifer I was killed saving you… and then my Father appeared… originally He intended to restore the world as it was before you went to Hell… that Lillith and Ruby would be killed and you would never go to Hell… and we would never meet… but apparently you chose to go to Hell… you wanted to at least give us a chance to meet again… and we did…"

His voice broke and a tear trickled down his cheek.

"I am so sorry, Dean. I'm sorry I didn't tell you all of this sooner."

Castiel let go of Dean's arm and started to pull away when suddenly Dean reached out and grabbed his hand. Startled, Castiel opened his eyes and looked up to see Dean staring back at him dumbfounded.

"Whoa… whoa… you… and me… we were… together?"

Castiel nodded slowly. "Yes."

Dean swallowed hard, afraid that if he said the words that somehow they would suddenly no longer be true. "And… you were in love with me?"

Castiel looked somewhat hesitant before finally speaking. "I… I still do love you, Dean."

Dean didn't know whether to start laughing with delirious joy or to cry. Suddenly, every confusing emotion he had felt over the last few weeks made perfect sense. All of it.

"I really wish you had told me this sooner," Dean managed to whisper.

"I'm sorry… I was afraid…"

"Do you have any idea how seriously screwed up in the head I've been feeling since I first saw you?"

Castiel cocked his head in confusion. "What do you mean?"

Dean chuckled. "I have not been able to stop thinking about you since I first saw you in that damn bar. I've had dreams about us… and… I dunno how to explain it… it's been torture every time I haven't been able to see you or be with you." Dean paused for a moment before he shook his head in confusion. "So… if you love me, why did you say you were going to go back to Heaven after all this was over?"

"I thought it would be better," Castiel replied sadly. "I thought I was only hurting you by being here. That with me gone you would be able to move on and have a normal life."

Dean couldn't help but laugh at Castiel's words. "Dude, the last thing I'm ever going to have is a 'normal' life!"

They both fell silent for a moment as Dean struggled to comprehend everything Castiel had said to him. They had been lovers in the past. Castiel still loved him. And Castiel had only planned on leaving because he thought Dean would be better off.

"We need to get out of here," Dean finally said.

"I believe help is on the way," Castiel replied.

"No," Dean said as he began searching the floor for something. "I mean, you and I need to bust out of this room and go help, because there is no way in hell I'm going to waste any more time sitting here. We need to go somewhere else and… catch up."

Castiel felt his cheeks flush at the implications in Dean's tone of voice. Nervously, he tried to moisten his lips with his dry tongue. "But you're shackled to the floor."

"I need something to pick the lock."

"Like what?"

"A piece of thick wire… hell, a nail. Anything small and thin enough I could get in the lock without it busting on me."

Castiel scanned the room. "I don't see anything like that here, Dean."

Dean ran his hand in frustration over his face. "Damn it. I'd give anything for a freaking bobby pin right now!"

"Bobby pin?"

"Yeah, it's a thing girls put in their hair."

Castiel thought for a moment and his gaze wandered over to the body of the dead girl. Cocking his head as he studied her, he crawled over to where her head lay. Gently, he reached over and removed a small, thin metal object from the girl's hair and held it up for Dean to see.

"Like this?"

Dean stared in shock for a moment before a huge grin appeared on his face.

"Holy crap, that's it! You're awesome, Cas!"

Castiel smiled proudly as Dean took the bobby pin from him and went to work on the shackles. Thanks to years of practice Dean was soon able to free himself. Looking even more confident, Dean then moved over to where Castiel was and took one of the angel's arms.

"Alright. Let's get these off of you!"

Castiel frowned and shook his head. "Dean, these manacles are imbued with magic. You won't be able to open them without the key."

"Yes I will," Dean replied without looking up.

Castiel sighed. "Dean, I mean it. You need the key."

"No I don't."

"You really do, Dean."

"Nope. I can do it."

"Dean-"

Click.

Castiel's jaw dropped as the manacle popped opened in Dean's hands. Dean looked up at him triumphantly.

"Told you so."

"How did you-?"

"I'm an expert at this," Dean said as he took Castiel's other arm.

Castiel shook his head. "No. Dean, I mean it. You really shouldn't have been able to open that."

Dean shrugged. "So what? I did it. How about we look at it as a good thing?"

Before Castiel could respond, the second manacle popped opened. Instantly, he could feel his powers rush back and fill him. He closed his eyes and spread his arms as the warmth of his powers flowed through him, the energy crackling at his finger tips.

"Something's different, Dean," Castiel said quietly. "The magic that was protecting the demons is gone. I have all my powers."

"What does that mean?"

Castiel opened his eyes and looked at Dean with a smirk.

"It means now it's time for some payback."

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