A/N: Okay I just want to say thank-you for all of your guys ideas. I just want to say that there will be no Slash in this story. Kakashi and Itachi are not going to hook up. They are simply going to be two adults trying to raise a traumatized teenager. So no more freaking out at me about them hooking up, because it is not going to happen.
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Chapter 25
It was just after six in the morning when Kakashi was woken up again. He had fallen asleep on the couch while he was waiting for Itachi to come out of Sasuke's room. Kakashi heard someone knocking at his front door. Kakashi stood up and went to Sasuke's room first. He looked in and saw Itachi and Sasuke asleep on his bed curled up together. Kakashi couldn't help, but smile at the sight. It was good for Sasuke to be sleeping and with Itachi here it seemed to come easier for him. Kakashi heard the knocking continue so he left the doorway and headed back to his front door. Kakashi opened the front door and saw Tsunade on the other side. Kakashi immediately started to think about what was about to happen. Itachi was in the bedroom with Sasuke and Kakashi didn't know what was going to happen. Kakashi didn't know if Itachi was going to stay or not. Right now Kakashi knew that Itachi couldn't leave until nightfall. Kakashi didn't know if Tsunade knew Itachi was here or not, but he had a feeling he was about to find out.
"Tsunade-Sama, what can I do for you so early this morning?"
"I know it's early, but I would like to speak to you."
"Of course, come in."
Kakashi moved back so Tsunade could come inside his home. They went into the living room and Tsunade couldn't help, but look around. The place was messier than it usually was, and there was a cloak with blood sitting on the floor beside the couch. Tsunade recognized the cloak right away. She knew that Itachi was either here or at least was here last night. The state of Kakashi and of his house was a little troubling for Tsunade and she was regretting not coming by sooner.
"Is everything alright Kakashi?"
"As alright as it could be."
"I meant with yourself. Your house is a mess and you do not look much better. Is there something you wish to talk about?"
Kakashi let out a sigh and started to pace slightly. He knew that his home was messy and it never was. Despite what people may think Kakashi was a very clean and organized person. His home and his body were always neat and clean. In the past month since Sasuke has been awake Kakashi has slowly been slipping and now it was getting noticed. Kakashi looked around his house that he could see. The living room held blankets in one corner of the couch, dishes were on the table, the kitchen had pots and dishes all over it that were in need of a wash. Kakashi himself was in the need of a shower and a change of clothes. Kakashi had been so worried about Sasuke in the past week especially that he hadn't taken care of himself or his home. Kakashi knew he needed to get himself back together. He couldn't tell Sasuke that he had to get his life back if he couldn't do it himself.
"I've been a little stressed and worried about Sasuke this past week. He seemed to have gotten worse mentally and emotionally. I can't get him to leave the room except to go the washroom. He barely eats, he doesn't sleep and he takes three showers a day. He won't talk to me about what happened, but it's clearly affecting him. He's depressed and each day that goes by its getting worse. I don't know what to do."
"I'm sure Itachi had some ideas. Is he still here?"
"How did you know?"
"His cloak is on the floor. Either he is still here or he forgot it when he left."
"He came last night, he's still here and I told him that I was Sasuke's father."
"How did he take it?"
"He already knew. Apparently he overheard his parents arguing while she was pregnant. He raised Sasuke; he named Sasuke and took care of him every single day for seven years. He never saw the point in telling Sasuke the truth, because I wasn't around. I told him my side of the story and he wasn't upset. He thinks I should tell Sasuke. He feels that Sasuke deserves the truth and I agree with him. I'm just worried about how Sasuke will react with all of this going on. No one has even come by to see him this week."
"Neji and Shikamaru are out on a mission. Shikamaru is due back later today I'll have him come by."
"Maybe that will help."
"I need to speak with Itachi. We need to sort this out."
"I'll go wake him up. I fell asleep on the couch last night I don't really know how well last night went. Sasuke is asleep so that's a good thing at least."
"Itachi obviously has a positive effect on him. Hopefully we can work this out."
"I'll go get him."
Kakashi left Tsunade in the living room as he went to the bedroom that was holding the Uchiha brothers. Kakashi walked into the room and again he had to take a few seconds to see them on the bed. Itachi was lying on his back turned slightly to his right side with his head on top of Sasuke's. Sasuke was curled up into Itachi's slightly turned chest and if his breathing was anything to go by Sasuke was sound asleep. Kakashi didn't want to have to wake either brother up. Kakashi could tell last night that Sasuke wasn't the only Uchiha having problems. Itachi had spent six years living with criminals. He had killed his own family. That wasn't something someone just walked away from and was perfectly fine afterwards. Kakashi knew that Itachi was going to be having some of his own problems. Kakashi needed to also keep an eye on Itachi, though Kakashi knew that Itachi would be able to handle his problems. Kakashi still didn't want to just ignore Itachi. Itachi truly was the only father Sasuke had ever known and Kakashi wanted to be able to get along with Itachi. Kakashi made his way across the room and over to Itachi's side of the bed. Kakashi wasn't quite sure how to wake Itachi up. Kakashi knew he didn't have any weapon in his hands, but Itachi never needed one either. After a few seconds to debate, Kakashi decided to just go for it. He reached out and gently touched Itachi's left shoulder as he called his name quietly.
"Itachi"
That definitely did the trick. Itachi's eyes opened to reveal red ones as he grabbed onto Kakashi's wrist. Kakashi put his free hand up in the air to show that he had no weapons, but again with Itachi that wouldn't matter if he did. Kakashi knew that Itachi would have a few of his own problems and Kakashi knew that Itachi wouldn't hurt him.
"It's okay it's just me." Kakashi whispered so he wouldn't wake Sasuke up.
Kakashi could see Itachi start to register where he was and who he was with. After a few seconds his eyes went back to normal and he let go of Kakashi's wrist.
"Tsunade is in the living room she wants to speak to you. It's just after six in the morning."
"I'll be out in a second." Itachi said tiredly.
Kakashi gave a nod and left the bedroom to give Itachi a few moments to get himself together. Kakashi could see the exhaustion in his face and he was wondering how bad last night was with Sasuke. Kakashi went back out into the living room where Tsunade was standing.
"He'll be out in a minute."
"How is he?"
"He'll be fine in time."
"Do you think it would be dangerous for the village to have him here?"
"No I don't. Itachi never hurt anyone in the village. He follows orders and that's not something you can fault him for. He genuinely wants to be here for Sasuke."
Tsunade gave a nod and Kakashi could tell that she was thinking about how to go about this. It wasn't like she could just bring Itachi back into the village without any repercussions. The village knew that he was the one to kill the Clan and Tsunade wasn't about to start telling people the truth behind it. Itachi came out into the living room and both Kakashi and Tsunade could see the exhaustion in his eyes. Itachi was tired in more ways than one. It was in that moment that Tsunade knew Itachi was done. He had dedicated six years of his life to living with criminals as a spy. He had killed his own family out of the safety of Konoha. He needed a break and Tsunade was more than happy to give him one.
"Hokage-Sama, what can I do for you?"
"I think you've done enough for Konoha. I found the documents of your mission and your kill orders for the Uchiha Clan. Danzou and the council were not happy about my knowledge of it. Nor are they happy that you have been seeing Sasuke; though I could tell they weren't stupid enough to say or try anything to you or to Sasuke."
"That would be very foolish on their part."
"I agree and thankfully they know that. The question is what do you wish to do?"
"What would you like me to do Hokage-Sama?"
"I want you to give me an honest answer. Not a ninja answer Itachi. What do you honestly want to do? Do wish to stay here in Konoha or do you wish to continue your mission. The choice is completely up to you and I will support whatever decision you make."
"I know my duty and responsibilities are with Konoha. However, I also have a responsibility to my brother and he needs me more than Konoha does right now. I would like to stay if you allow it."
"Like I said I will support whatever decision you make. If you want to stay to be here with Sasuke, than that is perfectly fine by me. There are some things we will need to figure out. Most importantly what we are going to tell the village. I can have a message sent out to everyone so the village will know come noon hour. I don't think it is a good idea for the village to know the whole truth. I can have it so that they know you were on a mission as a spy in the Akatsuki. As for the Clan's death that needs to be kept a secret. However, the other ninja and villagers won't trust you if they think you were the one to kill the Clan. For now I think it should be that you took credit for the Clan's death in order to join the Akatsuki. The person that killed the Clan was caught that night and killed. We had you take credit for it to help with your mission to be more believable. How does that sound to you?" Tsunade said.
"It's fine with me if that is what you wish to tell people." Itachi answered.
"I think it would be for the best. We don't know how the village would react to knowing the truth behind the Clan's death. This way your good name is restored and Konoha's dirty secret is still buried, which should please the council and Danzou." Kakashi said.
"I have no interest in pleasing them, but anything that will keep any added stress off Sasuke I am all for." Itachi said.
"Then that is what I will do. By noon everyone in the village will know and your name will be restored. Your title will go back to Jounin and your rank among them will be restored. It will be your choice what you wish to do. You can go back into the ANBU, be a sensei, or just a normal Jounin. You don't have to decide any time soon you have lots of time to decide. Just focus on Sasuke for now and when you feel like you are ready to go back to work we can figure that out." Tsunade said.
"I'm not sure yet. I know I don't want to be back in the ANBU. I would love to be a sensei, but I'm not sure how well that would go over with parents or the students."
"I think the students would love it. The parents might not respond very well at first. There's never been an Uchiha as a sensei." Tsunade said.
"The parents might actually like the idea, because he is an Uchiha. Everyone in the village knows how strong Itachi is. As a parent I would want my child to be on Itachi's squad. At least I know that my child will be safe and protected. Not to mention the endless list of techniques that he knows for any type of chakra." Kakashi said.
"It's something we can discuss when you are ready to go back to work. Right now I'm sure your priority is Sasuke's well-being." Tsunade said.
"It is." Itachi answered.
"When Sasuke is able to return to work your decision might change." Tsunade said.
"I don't truly know if Sasuke is ever going to be returning." Kakashi said.
"What do you mean?" Itachi asked.
"We talked a few weeks ago about a few things one of them being regrets. He asked if I had ever thought about not being a ninja anymore. I told him the truth that every ninja at some point thinks about leaving. I had many times, but I always stayed, because I knew if I left I would regret it. He said that he didn't know if he could do it anymore or if he wanted to even do it anymore. He mentioned about how growing up he loved detective work." Kakashi explained.
"He did very much so. He used to read detective novels and try to solve the crime by the end of the book. He's extremely good at puzzles his mind just works that way. I always told him to follow his dreams, but he went into the academy instead. He was hoping it would make the Clan like him more. He was hoping to earn some respect and recognition from father. He's never wanted to be a ninja." Itachi said.
"That choice is his and his alone to make. Just like yourself I will support any decision he makes. I can completely understand how it would be difficult to return back to being a ninja after everything that has happened to him. Him being a ninja concerns me slightly with his health problems. He only has one kidney, you both do, but you are a lot stronger than he is. Sasuke is still learning and developing his skills. One wrong hit to his kidney and it could fail. Not to mention with his lungs and heart. I would really like to have him down to the hospital so I could run some scans and tests. His lungs are underdeveloped that might be why he's having such a hard time breathing now." Tsunade said.
"He can't breathe properly?" Itachi asked Kakashi.
"He can when he is not moving. Once he starts to move around even something simple like going from the bedroom to the living room he's out of breath. He had pneumonia, which put stress on his lungs already and he still has a slight cold still. If we could get him to go to the hospital for a few hours it would be a good idea." Kakashi said.
"I'll talk to him and he'll go, but it might be better later on at night time. There won't be as many people on the street. We did talk a little bit last night. He hasn't been outside; because the last time he was he had an anxiety attack. He said when he is outside he feels vulnerable and he can't breathe. He's second guessing his skills, because he didn't sense the man that took him. So he's wondering how many others are out there watching him that he can't sense." Itachi said.
"He's paranoid that's understandable after what he has been through. We need to make sure that it doesn't go to the extreme. I can give him a prescription for the anxiety, but I would much rather have him work through it himself if he can. His physical health has never been the main concern you both know that. His body will heal with time. It's his mental and emotional health that concerns me. The paranoia and anxiety needs to be taken care of and quickly. If he is too paranoid to leave the house it won't do anything good for his mental and emotional health." Tsunade said.
"How was he taken?" Itachi asked.
"He was taken from his bed, but there were no signs of a struggle. It's almost as if he didn't even wake up." Kakashi said.
"Maybe he didn't. He could have been drugged." Itachi suggested.
"It's quite possible that he was. He needs to understand that what happened wasn't his fault. It wasn't a reflection of his skill level. He needs to have some confidence restored and that should help with the paranoia. When the anxiety happens you need to get him to talk through it. That is the only way it will help remove the anxiety." Tsunade said.
"It's going to be a long process for Sasuke, but he will get past this." Kakashi said.
"He's depressed, but that is to be understandable. He can't do anything really with his body, but his mind can be used. He needs an outlet, a form of an escape. Do you have anything he could be doing?" Itachi asked.
"Like what paperwork?" Tsunade asked.
"He needs something that he can put his mind into. He needs an escape so when things get too hard he can focus on something else for a little while. Sasuke's mind doesn't do well when it is overwhelmed. The only way he is going to get past all of this is if he sees it as smaller problems and not one giant problem. He can handle it if he has smaller problems to work through. It makes him feel like it's less impossible."
"That makes sense. Right now he has to be feeling overwhelmed by everything. He needs control and an escape. Something he can do that he enjoys to help get away from the pain for a little while." Kakashi said.
"I can get him some books to read, but he needs something more in-depth then that. He needs something that he has to solve and work through." Itachi said.
"Well there is this old program that the Third used to do. It's like a course in strategic warfare. There's a book and worksheets that can be graded. It goes through different strategy types and the person has to plan wars and battles. The whole point is to try and get the highest success rate plus survival rate of your men. The Third stopped doing it, because it was too hard for about ninety-five percent of the ninja trying to do it. It'll make him think that's for certain." Tsunade suggested.
"That could work. He just needs something that he can escape in." Itachi said.
"It makes perfect sense. I want Sasuke to get better and I am more than happy to dig through some old books to find the work. I actually think he'll do really well at it. It also might give him a different perspective on being a ninja. Konoha could definitely use a strategic war planner. The one we have is very old and mean. Thankfully we don't get dragged into war very often." Tsunade said.
"Well he is close to seventy now." Kakashi said
"He needs to retire, but in order to do that I need to find a new one to replace him. He is also the General of the Army during a time of war. He is not easily replaceable." Tsunade said.
"When does Shikamaru get back from his mission today again?" Kakashi asked.
"This afternoon sometime. I'll have him come by if he is up for it. His mission was a simple C-Ranked mission so nothing should have gone wrong."
"Is Shikamaru his only friend?" Itachi asked.
"Shikamaru seems to be the only one that Sasuke doesn't mind having around. Neji was around him once for a couple of hours, but Sasuke hasn't seen anyone in a week roughly now. Shikamaru might be able to get him out of this depression a little bit." Kakashi said.
"I'll let Shikamaru know what is going on when he gets back. I will leave you two alone to go over a few things. I'll work on the message to the village so everyone will know. It doesn't need to be decided right now, but think about living arrangements. I don't know if Itachi, you and Sasuke will be living in a different apartment or if the three of you wish to all live together. That's something you can discuss and let me know. Either way I can help arrange an apartment whether that is a two bedroom or a three bedroom, you can let me know when you have an answer. I'll leave you two alone. Itachi try and keep a low profile for a few days until the village settles over this." Tsunade said.
"I don't plan on going out as myself just yet." Itachi said.
"Let me know if you can get him to the hospital tonight so I can run some tests." Tsunade said.
"I'll talk to him and I'll get him to go." Itachi said.
"Just let me know what time. If he isn't up for it tonight that's fine, but by the end of the week I would like to see him." Tsunade said.
"I'll speak to him about it and see how he is when he wakes up." Itachi said.
"Fair enough. I will see you both a little later on. If you need anything let me know." Tsunade said.
"Thank-you Hokage-Sama." Itachi said.
"Tsunade-Sama." Kakashi said with a nod.
Tsunade left Kakashi and Itachi to do some talking. Tsunade had a feeling they had a few things they needed to talk about. Especially seeing as how Kakashi was Sasuke's biological father. Itachi had been Sasuke's father for the past thirteen years. For Kakashi to come into the picture it was bound to cause some problems and hurt feelings.
"Do you want some coffee?" Kakashi asked Itachi.
"Absolutely."
Kakashi smiled and made his way into the kitchen. Itachi followed behind him and sat down on one of the stools in Kakashi's kitchen. Itachi placed his arms on the island counter top and put his face in his hands. Kakashi got the coffee on and turned around to see Itachi. He could tell that he was exhausted and Kakashi didn't know how to approach this with Itachi. They were never close. Itachi kept people at arm's length, the only exception was Sasuke. Kakashi wanted to know Itachi he wanted to be able to get along and be some form of a family with him and Sasuke.
"You look exhausted." Kakashi said.
Itachi removed his head from his hands and placed them down on the counter top.
"It was a long night. I got him to sleep finally, but every hour he was awake from a nightmare. He didn't stay asleep until after five this morning. Every time he woke up from a nightmare he refused to talk about it and he was scared to go back to sleep. I know he has to talk through the nightmares to get over them, but maybe until he is healed more it would be better for him to be on a sleeping pill. He's terrified to sleep, because of the nightmares. After the third one he was begging me not to make him sleep. I know he needs to get through the nightmares, but maybe I'm hurting him more than doing him good."
Kakashi went and sat down on another stool.
"There's no guide to follow for dealing with something like this. The nightmares he needs to get through, but if he isn't ready for them then it can do more damage than good. Talk to him and see how he feels about it. If he isn't ready we can't make him. When he was first released from the hospital I pushed him to see people. We had an argument about it and he got very upset. He told me why was I pushing so hard when he wasn't ready. I realised that I couldn't make him get better. He needs to be ready for the steps that need to be taken to get better. I promised him we would take it one step at a time for when he was ready to take those steps. If he is not ready to handle the nightmares then we shouldn't make him go through them. The choice is yours Itachi, but I am here for you both."
"I'm not trying to replace you. I honestly don't know what to do about any of this. He's never been like this. I'm winging it just like you are and seeing what works and what doesn't."
"I think it's important for us to be as honest with Sasuke as we can be. Hopefully in return he will be honest with us. We can't help him if he doesn't tell us what is wrong. Communication in this is huge."
"Maybe we should both sit down and speak to him about this. I'm not sure he understands fully how important it is for him to tell us how he is feeling."
"I think that would be a good idea. I did tell him before we left the hospital that it was important for him to tell me how he is feeling. He tends to only do that with his physical pain though and not the rest. Talking to him later on today would be a good idea. He's been through a lot, but he's still young, he must be having problems understanding all of this."
"I'm sure he is. I don't know about you, but I still don't understand how someone can do those things to a child and I'm older than he is."
"I don't understand it either and I really don't think it's possible to understand it. Sasuke must have questions all we can do is try our best to answer them. I'm sure you have seen some horrible things in the past six years."
Kakashi said as he got up to pour some coffee into two mugs. He had placed the cream and sugar on the island counter top already. Kakashi brought the mugs over and placed one in front of Itachi before sitting back down with his own. Itachi took a moment to add his cream and sugar before he spoke.
"I'm sorry about this morning…" Itachi started, but Kakashi cut him off.
"Don't even worry about it Itachi. You've been through a lot in the last six years it's natural for you to be having problems of your own."
"I would never hurt him."
"I know you wouldn't. I'm not worried about you hurting Sasuke. I know you don't exactly talk about your problems or your feelings, but if you ever do wish to talk about it I'm here to listen."
"I'll be fine in a few weeks once I get used to being back. Do you have a library card?"
"I do. Why?"
"I was going to go and get him some books from the library. Do you mind if I use yours?"
"Not all. I'm assuming you are going to go out looking like me?"
"Is that okay?"
"Absolutely. I don't suppose you know of any tricks to get him to eat?"
"I know a couple. I'll make a stop at the grocery store on the way back. See if I can still get him to eat."
"I'm sure you'll be able to. I know this is still a little ways away, but it might be nice for the three of us to stick together. I'm not sure how you or Sasuke would feel about that. I know I wouldn't mind."
"I'll talk to Sasuke and see what he thinks. When are you going to tell him the truth?"
"I figured sometime today I would tell him. There's no point in putting it off any longer. He deserves to know and I want him to know."
"I can be there when you tell him if you'd like."
"I think that would be helpful. There really is no telling how Sasuke is going to take this. I was thinking about doing it after he gets up. Shikamaru will be by later on this afternoon, Sasuke might want to talk to him about it."
"Shikamaru sounds like a good person."
"He is. It helps that he is incredibly intelligent. He's also incredibly lazy he had the second lowest scores in the academy and yet he has an IQ around two hundred. Don't be surprised if he's a little caution and nervous around you. He still feels responsible for what happened to Sasuke."
"We've all been there. He led the mission and it was a failure. They got Sasuke out, but not before everything that happened. It's not his fault for what happened. He couldn't control it and he should never have been put into that position. A higher Chounin or Jounin should have been assigned the mission, not him. In time he will get other missions where he will need to lead and if he is as smart as you say he is then he will succeed."
"He will succeed and he's turning into be a very good friend for Sasuke."
"That's good. Sasuke has never had a true friend before. It will do him some good to have someone he isn't related to, to talk to. I'm sure there were plenty of times he wished he could have talked to someone other than me growing up. It wasn't always hard, but there were times where I'm sure he wished I could just be his big brother and not the parent. There are certain things you don't want to tell your parents, but you want to tell your brother. Your brother is supposed to keep your secrets and not tell your parents. Your brother is supposed to tell you what you did was wrong and then tell you what stupid things you did at his age. I tried to be both, but it wasn't always that easy to separate the two. There was a lot that happened growing up that he kept from me. He thought he would get in trouble, that he was doing something wrong to make the Clan hate him so much. I did a lot of things wrong."
"Itachi you were seven years old when Sasuke was born. You went from being a normal seven year old to a parent literally over-night. You should had never have been put in that situation and any other seven year old would have walked away. You raised him. You raised a very sick baby all on your own. You shouldn't have had to do that, but you did. If I had just pushed your mother more, if I didn't let it go you wouldn't of had to have gone through all of that. Sasuke is alive, because of everything you did growing up. You did the best that you could do given the situation. A situation you should have never been put in."
"I don't regret it, my decision to raise him. I just regret a lot of the decisions I made afterwards. I shouldn't have left him that night. I should have just explained the situation to him and stayed in Konoha. If I had Orochimaru wouldn't have gotten near him."
"Everyone has regrets in their life. The thing is you can't live in the past or you'll make the same mistakes. You are here now; you can protect him from Kabuto and the Sound. You can help him heal and that is more important than anything you could have changed in the past. We all have regrets Itachi the trick is not making them again."
"I should get going before he gets up. I don't want him thinking that I left him again."
"If he wakes up while you are out I'll make sure to tell him that you stepped out for a few minutes."
Kakashi grabbed his wallet and pulled out his library card. He placed it down on the counter top so Itachi could grab it. Itachi finished the last of his coffee and grabbed the card. He stood up and made a hand seal to transform into Kakashi. Itachi made his way over to the front door, but before he left he turned around to face Kakashi.
"Thank-you Kakashi."
"For what?"
"My whole life the only person I've ever had to talk to was Sasuke. It's nice to be able to talk to another adult and not be judged."
"Anytime Itachi and I mean that. Be safe out there."
"Why you got enemies in Konoha?" Itachi said lightly.
"If I do they would have to be mentally unstable to go toe to toe with me." Kakashi said back.
"I'll go toe to toe with you." Itachi said lightly again.
"Now that would be a workout. I might have to take you up on that one day."
"You just let me know when you feel the need to get beat up and I will be there."
"Ya I think we might need some sparring rules so I don't end up in the hospital again."
"You should know better than to look me in the eyes Kakashi."
"I really should by now. I'll remember that from now on. I'm serious, be safe."
"I will be. I won't be long."
Kakashi gave a nod as Itachi left the house. Kakashi drank his coffee as he tried to think of what he was going to say to Sasuke. He knew he had to tell him the truth the problem was Kakashi didn't know how he was going to react to the information. Kakashi knew it was pointless to worry over, because anything he thought of wouldn't settle his nerves for when it came time to actually tell Sasuke. Itachi was going to be there with him while he told Sasuke and Kakashi found comfort in that. He wouldn't have to do it alone and Itachi would be able to keep Sasuke calm. Kakashi decided to go over to the couch and do some reading while he waited for Itachi to come back or for Sasuke to wake up.
It was an hour later when Itachi came back into the house. He was carrying a couple bags of groceries and a few books in his other hand. Itachi went into the kitchen and Kakashi followed behind him. Once Itachi placed the bags and books down on the island counter top he transformed back to his old self.
"How was it?" Kakashi asked.
"It was fine. Everyone just tends to avoid you. Did he wake up?"
"People know I'm not one for small talk. He woke up about ten minutes ago. He's in the shower right now. The first shower of the day."
"How many showers does he have in a day?"
"Usually three. He doesn't talk about it, but he's trying to wash the dirt and his hands off from his skin. I can't get him to talk about any of it especially the rape."
"He said a little about it last night before he broke down, but not much."
Itachi started to pull the groceries out of the bags.
"What did you get?"
"Things that he couldn't resist growing up. He loves grilled cheese, tomato soup, mushrooms and rice, he has two weaknesses though. Sasuke hates sweets, but he has two exceptions. He loves chocolate covered pretzels and mint chocolate chip frozen yogurt."
Itachi said as he started to put the food away in the fridge and cupboard.
"Mint chocolate chip frozen yogurt? Really?"
"Ya I know. It's weird, but he hates ice cream he says it's too bad for your body. Sasuke has a hard time keeping and gaining weight as I'm sure you've noticed. Growing up it was always a challenge to get him to gain weight. He didn't like unhealthy food so I had to find things he liked that were fattening. Frozen yogurt is not as fattening as ice cream, but it was something he would eat anytime. He spent a lot of time in the hospital and we went through gallons of the stuff over the years."
"Why are you sharing all of this information with me? Don't get me wrong I'm glad you are, but why are you?"
Itachi stopped what he was doing and turned to face Kakashi. Itachi knew this conversation would be coming sooner rather than later.
"Because I think you want to know him. I think you want to be in his life as more than just a sensei. I have no problem telling you certain things about Sasuke, but the important and complicated things about Sasuke, you'll have to ask him or figure them out."
"That's the best part about getting to know someone. You get to find out all these things you never knew about the person. Are you sure you are okay with me being in Sasuke's life as a father figure if he lets me?"
"Are you sure you are okay with being his second father and not his first?" Itachi asked back.
"I would never try and replace you Itachi. I wouldn't be able to even if I wanted to. You will always be his father and I would never try and take that from you. I just want to be in his life and I would love for the three of us to be a family one day."
"I would be fine with that. Sasuke and I have only ever had each other. It would be nice to have another adult there to help out with everything. It would be nice to be able to be the big brother at times and not always the parent."
"Growing up you were seven years old raising a sick baby, nothing about that could have been easy."
"It wasn't. They wouldn't pay for anything I had to work just to cover the hospital bills. I couldn't access my trust until I turned eighteen. I never wanted to leave him, but I had to in order to keep him alive."
"Now you're both rich." Kakashi said jokingly.
Itachi smirked at Kakashi for his attempt at making the conversation light once again.
"When do you want to talk to Sasuke?" Itachi asked.
"I figured when he gets out of the shower. No point in just putting it off."
"You nervous?"
"Unbelievably nervous. It's not every day you tell a traumatized thirteen year old that you are actually his father. I don't even know how to tell him."
"Sasuke doesn't like it when someone beats around the bush. Just be completely honest and get to the point quick. He's not going to want to hear excuses. He's just going to want the truth, even if it's hurtful."
"So my best shot is to just come straight out and say it. I guess that makes things easier, but I'm still nervous."
"There's nothing I could tell you that would ease your nervousness. I wish I could say I know how he will react, but I don't. With everything that has happened to him recently there really is no telling how he will react to this."
"I want to tell him, but maybe it would be better to wait until he has dealt with all of this first."
"No, the longer you wait the more upset he will get. He won't like it if he finds out that you knew months ago, but kept it from him. The sooner he knows the better it will be."
The conversation was cut short when they both heard the bathroom door opening. They could hear footsteps going back into the bedroom so Itachi called out.
"Where are you going little brother?"
They heard the footsteps stop and then come towards them down the hall. A few seconds later Sasuke appeared in the doorway to the living room.
"I thought you left." Sasuke said sounding confused.
"I told you last night my mission was over. Why I would leave?"
"I figured you changed your mind."
Itachi went to move towards Sasuke so he could hug him as he spoke.
"Why would I change my mind?"
"Because I'm too much trouble." Sasuke said softly.
Itachi placed a gentle hand on the side of Sasuke's face as he spoke.
"You are never too much trouble. Come and sit down for a bit I'll get you something to eat."
"I'm not hungry." Sasuke mumbled.
"I didn't ask if you were hungry."
Itachi said as he started to guide Sasuke into the living room and down onto the couch. Kakashi went over to join Sasuke in the living room, but he chose to sit in the chair next to the couch. This way the upcoming conversation would be easier.
"How are you feeling Sasuke?" Kakashi asked.
"Same"
"Has the pain gotten any worse in the last week?"
"No"
"We should start to get you outside and moving around. Help strengthen your muscles again."
Sasuke just gave a distant nod and Kakashi knew that the conversation was over. Sasuke really wasn't a talker, but in the past week he had been more quiet than usual. Kakashi knew he couldn't expect miracles, but he was hoping with Itachi now being back that Sasuke just might start to heal from all of this. Itachi walked back into the room with a bowl of mint chocolate chip frozen yogurt. He handed Sasuke the bowl and Sasuke couldn't help the small smile. Itachi sat down on the other end of the couch with Sasuke.
"You remembered."
"How could I possibly forget? I used to get lectured all the time by the doctors when you were in the hospital. They used to tell me that a growing boy can't survive off frozen yogurt. I didn't care though, because you always ate it and for me that was good enough."
Sasuke took a few bites of the frozen yogurt and he couldn't believe how good it felt against his sore throat.
"That should help your throat." Kakashi said.
"It does." Sasuke said.
"There are a few things we need to talk about son." Itachi said very seriously.
"Son, this must be very serious. There are only three situations when you call me that. When you are beyond mad at someone, when I'm seriously hurt and you are comforting and then when you have something very serious to talk to me about. You're not mad and you're not being comforting right now so that only leaves the last option. What happened?"
"Nothing happened. You are still safe it's nothing like that. We do have a few serous things to talk about though, starting with your health."
"What about it?"
"Before this happened you hadn't been to the hospital since you were seven. You haven't been getting any tests done on your heart and lungs. Why is that?" Itachi kept his voice calm, but also serious. Itachi needed Sasuke to know that this was a very serious conversation.
"I felt fine. I didn't see the point in going to the hospital to get tests done. My heart or lungs haven't been giving me a problem so why go?"
"Because things could be wrong without you even knowing it. Just because you feel fine doesn't mean that everything is okay."
"Is there something wrong?" Sasuke asked with some fear in his voice.
"No there's nothing wrong that we know of. Tsunade is upset that she hadn't been informed of this. She wants to run some tests tonight in the hospital and I told her we would be there."
"Why? I feel fine." Sasuke said slightly annoyed.
"Just, because you feel fine doesn't mean that nothing is wrong. I'm not saying that something is wrong. I'm saying we need to get you checked out. Tsunade wasn't looking for any damage when she healed you from the attack. She was more concerned about your injuries and the pneumonia. She just wants to make sure that everything is working properly and so do I. It's been six years the tests need to be updated. I'm also a little concerned about your lungs. You have a hard time walking from the bedroom to the living room. I know your body is seriously injured, but your lungs should have healed enough in the past month and a half since the attack for you to walk a hundred feet without getting tired. I know you hate getting tests done, but it's only two hours at most in the hospital. We don't have to wait for the results we can find out when they come through in a couple of days."
"I really don't want to. I hate those tests and that dye makes me sick for days afterwards."
"I know it does and Tsunade might not need to do that test. She might have other ones that she wants to run. I know you don't want to do this you never have. We've had this conversation many times growing up, but this is important. This is your health we are talking about Sasuke. This really isn't up for discussion you are going tonight. I would really appreciate you not fighting me on this please."
"Fine, but when the tests come back that I'm fine I don't have to go for at least a year."
"Deal"
"Is that it?" Sasuke asked with some slight attitude to his voice.
"Not yet and drop the attitude."
"I hate doctors, hospitals and tests. I said I would go, but you can't expect me to be happy about it."
"I know, but it's not easy having to be the bad guy all the time. I wouldn't make you do this unless it was important Sasuke."
"Ya I know, but sometimes I wish I could go to my big brother and complain about father like a normal brother. I love you, I do, but it never used to be this hard."
"No it wasn't, but you were younger. You didn't have any problems beside what the Clan put you through. We've never been in a situation where an older brother and father would act differently. We'll figure it out. There will be a few bumps in the road, but we will figure out the balance. For now where your health is concerned I will be your father and make you go, because it's for the best. Everything else I am your big brother and you can tell me anything and I won't get mad. I promise you we will figure this out. There are a few things we need to start working on before they get too severe."
"Like what?"
"Your anxiety for starters. I know it's scary, but we need to start working on removing your anxiety about being outside."
"How?"
"We take it slow. We can start by just being outside in the backyard and then we can move up from there. I'll be out there with you and when you feel anxious then we can talk through it until it goes away. I know this is all hard for you and I can't imagine how frustrated you must feel. If we don't put an end to these problems early then as time goes on they will get worse and harder to overcome."
"Everything just seems so impossible. There are all these problems and the list just seems to get longer every day."
"It is a long list Sasuke, but we can shorten it by correcting the smaller problems. Your anxiety about being outside is understandable, but we can fix it. I think it's important for you to know that Tsunade was here earlier and she did mention that you were taken in your sleep as you know. What you don't know is that you were drugged. That's why you didn't fight. You probably don't remember, because of the drug but you sensed him. You were just drugged before you had the chance to fight. Your senses are good and they will only get better with age. Don't doubt yourself it'll drive you crazy if you do." Kakashi said.
Kakashi didn't want to interfere in this conversation. It was between Itachi and Sasuke. Kakashi's time would come later, but Kakashi figured he would help Itachi to get Sasuke to understand that he could do this.
"I was drugged?"
"You were. You sensed him Sasuke you just didn't get the chance to fight. You have every reason to feel anxious and paranoid, but we can't let those feelings grow. Otherwise we will never be able to get you outside or back into a normal life. These are two problems that are easily fixable with a little bit of work." Kakashi said.
"Okay I'll try."
"That's all we are asking from you Sasuke. Obviously you know you need to eat more so I am not going to harp at you for it. There is one other thing I wanted to talk to you about. The nightmares are bad and you're barely sleeping from them. The choice is yours and if you would like we can speak to Tsunade about it. If you'd like we could get a sleeping pill prescription so you can sleep without the nightmares. Now like I said the choice is yours, but you should know that eventually you will need to go off the prescription and the nightmares will come back. This wouldn't be a permanent solution only a temporary one until you felt like you could handle the nightmares. The choice is completely yours and like I said if you want more information we can speak to Tsunade about it tonight." Itachi said.
"I thought you said I had to work through them so they could go away." Sasuke said slightly confused.
"You do and that is the only way to get rid of the nightmares. However, I don't want you to go through something you are not ready for mentally or emotionally. If the nightmares are too much for you and you don't feel ready to handle them then that is something we need to talk about. How are you feeling about the nightmares honestly? I don't want you telling me something you think I want to hear. I want to know honestly how you are feeling about the nightmares."
Sasuke looked down for a few minutes and both Itachi and Kakashi could tell he was debating with himself. Sasuke didn't talk about how he was feeling ever and now all of a sudden he had to talk about it and that wasn't easy for him. It was a good few minutes before Sasuke softly spoke.
"I'm scared of them, of what I'll see. I don't really remember everything that happened. It's all kind of blurs together, but with the nightmares it's clear and I can see everything that I don't remember. There's things that happen in the nightmare that I don't even know if they actually happened or not and that's almost worse. Part of me wants to know, but another part of me doesn't, because what if it is true and I did go through those things. I have to sleep, I know I have to sleep, but it scares me to even think about sleeping. Last night was horrible all night it felt like I couldn't breathe and I just wanted to stop. I know I have to go through it, but I don't know how many more nights like last night I could handle going through."
"Okay, that's okay. Why don't we talk to Tsunade about this and see if she will prescribe a sleeping pill for you. It can't be a permanent fix, but it can be something you can use until you are ready to handle the nightmares. In a few months when you've had some time to deal with everything that happened we can slowly take you off the pills and deal with the nightmares as they come up. I don't want to put you through something you are not ready for. I want to make you better not worse and if the nightmares are making it worse and harder to handle then we won't deal with them yet. In a couple of months we can talk about it again and see how you feel okay?" Itachi said.
"Okay"
Itachi got up and grabbed Sasuke's empty bowl and brought it into the kitchen. He also grabbed the books that he got from the library and brought them back into the living room. Itachi handed Sasuke the books as he spoke.
"I got these for you from the library. I thought maybe you could use something to distract you with."
Sasuke looked through the few book titles as he spoke.
"How do you know I still like murder mysteries?"
"Because your mind will always love a good puzzle."
"Thank-you. Can I go back to bed now?"
"Not yet. Kakashi wanted to talk to you about something."
"Um… okay" Sasuke sounding unsure.
Sasuke and Itachi were both looking at Kakashi and Itachi could tell that Kakashi was beyond nervous. Kakashi had only said a few things since this conversation had started and now it was his turn to take the floor. Kakashi took a deep breath and remembered that Itachi said to just spit it out and not drag it out. Kakashi figured it was now or never so he just went for it.
"Remember when we talked a little bit about your childhood the one day in the living room?" Kakashi asked stalling for time.
"Ya" Sasuke said sounding slightly confused.
"After you went back to bed I had Tsunade come over to talk about something. She ran a test on both of our blood and there really is no easy way to say this so I'm just going to say it. I am your biological father."
The room was silent for a good five minutes. Kakashi and Itachi both sat there and watched Sasuke's mind trying to understand what had just happened. Sasuke's face was completely blank and they knew his mind was going a mile a minute. There were so many emotions going through Sasuke that he didn't even know where to start to understand them. He was confused above all else. If Kakashi was his father than where was he growing up? Why did he wait so long to find out and tell him? There were so many questions and Sasuke didn't even know where to start.
"What?" Sasuke said more to himself than to Kakashi.
"It happened one night thirteen years ago. Your mother and I had been drinking and it just happened. It was that one time only and the next day I was sent away on a mission. I didn't see your mother until she was six months pregnant. She swore it was Fugaku's and I let it go. I never thought about it afterwards and I should have. I was young and I believed her when she said the baby wasn't mine. When you spoke about your childhood and not understanding why Fugaku didn't like you it got me thinking. I had Tsunade run our DNA and compare them. It came back that you are my son."
"I'm not your son." Sasuke said with anger in his voice.
"Biologically Sasuke, Kakashi is your father. I know this is a lot for you to grasp right now, but I told Kakashi it would be better for you to know now rather than later." Itachi said.
"You knew?" Sasuke said with venom in his voice.
"He told me last night. He wanted my opinion on whether or not to tell you." Itachi answered honestly.
"So last night was the first you had ever heard of this?" Sasuke asked.
Sasuke needed to know if Itachi was lying to him or not. Growing up Itachi had said a few things here and there that always made Sasuke wonder. Sasuke was young though, so he let it go and was just happy to have Itachi in his life. Now though, Sasuke wanted the full truth.
"Before when mother was pregnant I overheard her and father arguing about the baby being Kakashi's. There was never any solid proof, but they both knew the truth." Itachi answered truthfully.
Itachi knew this was not going to go over well. He could tell that Sasuke was going to snap and Itachi was more than prepared for it. Itachi figured it was better for Sasuke to have all of the information now rather than drag it out over time and telling him part of the story in sections.
"So you knew my whole life that Kakashi was my father. You sat there listening to me going on about not understanding why mother and father hated me. The nights I spent crying, because I thought something was wrong with me for them to hate me. All the nights father beat me and said horrible things to me. I thought it was because of me when it really was because I wasn't his son. I was some bastard child as a result of a drunken one night stand. And you knew this whole time and you never told me the truth. You never gave me the choice of having Kakashi in my life or not. And now that you both have some piece of paper you think what exactly? That everything will be okay and we can be some happy family? You both lied to me. You knew the truth and you never gave me that piece of mind." Sasuke turned to Kakashi. "And you knew I could have been yours and you stood by and did nothing. Even after they were killed you didn't even step up. You were nowhere to be found when I needed someone. And what you think I'm just going to let you into my life, because of some piece of paper?"
"Sasuke listen to me please." Kakashi pleaded.
Sasuke stood up with the books in his hand.
"No I'm not listening to your lies, either of you. Leave me the hell alone the both of you."
Sasuke left them in the living room and headed back to his bedroom. The sound of the bedroom door slamming shut echoed through the living room. Itachi had a feeling that this was going to happen. Sasuke didn't handle change very well and he wouldn't handle finding out that Kakashi was his actual father at all. Growing up Sasuke had accepted that Itachi was his father and his brother and now everything had changed. It was a huge change and one that Sasuke might not have been ready for, but Itachi was standing by his decision. Sasuke had the right to know and if they kept it hidden from him the repercussions would have been more severe.
"Well that went well." Kakashi said sarcastically.
"I actually expected that to go worse. Sasuke doesn't handle big change very well. He hates not being in control of his life and a big change takes his control away. After everything that happened to him recently he's had the control taken from him. He was tortured and raped and from that he's had his life turned upside down and that in itself is giving him problems. Growing up it would take Sasuke sometimes months to decide on making a big change. There has been so much taken from his control its going to take a long time before he feels in control again. He'll be upset and distant for a few days maybe two weeks at most before he starts to come around. He's going to have more questions once he thinks about this. We are both going to have to do our best to answer them."
"Communication in this will be key. How are we going to get him to the hospital tonight?"
"He'll go, because I will make him go. We can't just ignore his heart and lungs. It's been six years we have no idea how they are working. He could be having problems and still feel perfectly fine. I made the mistake when he was little to not get his kidney checked out bi-yearly. He felt fine and there were no symptoms. By the time he started to feel sick his kidney was only at twenty percent function. It was too late to try and reverse it he needed a new kidney. Thankfully I was a match, but I can't give him a heart or a lung. If they start to fail he'll need it from a stranger that matches his blood. He could die waiting for a donor. We need to stay on top of this no matter what. I don't care how mad he gets or how many days he goes without talking to me. I'm not going to risk his health."
"I completely agree with you. Tsunade had no idea about this; if she did she would have been making Sasuke getting checked out at least twice a year. He's playing with fire and when it comes to his life we can't stay silent about it. He can be as mad as he wants and he has every right to be, but he can't jeopardize his health."
"How would you feel about telling Shikamaru the truth when he shows up?"
"I don't have a problem with it. He knows about you killing Orochimaru. Shikamaru will stay quiet about things. He's really stepped up and has been there for Sasuke since this happened. I'm sure Sasuke will mention it to him so we might as well give him the heads up."
"For now I think it would be best to just give Sasuke some space. Let him think and calm down."
"You look exhausted; why don't you go into my room and get some sleep. Shikamaru won't be back until later on this afternoon. You are going to need to be awake for the hospital later. You should sleep now while you can."
"Ya, maybe I should. It's been a few weeks since I've slept more than an hour or two."
"Go, get some sleep. If you are not awake when Shikamaru gets here I'll come wake you up."
"Ok. Thank-you."
"Everything will be fine. We just have to have some faith."
"If Sasuke is anything he is strong. He survived growing up and he will survive this."
"You raised a good kid Itachi."
"I only raised him until he was seven. He did the rest on his own."
"He only did that, because of the values you instilled in him when he was little. You're a great brother and a great father to him."
"Thank-you Kakashi.
"You are welcome Itachi. Go get some much needed sleep. I'll be here if something happens."
Itachi gave a nod and got up off the couch and headed into Kakashi's bedroom to get some sleep. He was exhausted and he knew he would fall asleep within minutes. Itachi was worried about Sasuke, but he knew that eventually Sasuke would come around to the idea of Kakashi being his biological father. Whether he would accept Kakashi as a father figure was yet to remain seen. In the end it was Sasuke's choice whether Kakashi would play more of a role in his life besides being his sensei. Itachi could only be supportive of Sasuke and whatever his choice was he would stand by him. Itachi went over to the bed and laid down. He couldn't do anything about Sasuke or the situation right now. All he could do was get some sleep so tonight he would be able to function at the hospital.