As the door echoes behind him, the whole room listens for him to get in his car and drive away. When his engine can no longer be heard, Lydia drops down on the couch and lets out a long breath. Smiling sadly at her, Jackson scoots closer and wraps an arm around her, leaning into him, thankful for the support she closes her eyes as he kisses her hair.
"So this was not how I wanted to start Christmas," she quips and the whole room chuckles, grateful for the break in the tension.
Slowly releasing his sister, Derek keeps his hands on her arms in support, honestly not knowing if she could support herself right now. Wiping her face with quick nervous movements, she offered him a broken imitation of a smile, "It's okay Der. I will be okay, I just," she swallowed hard, "I'm sorry I," she gulped for air, trying to repress another sob, her fingers digging into his forearms, "I, God I was so stupid," she broke and he pulled her back to his chest, wrapping his arms around her and letting her cry.
Looking over her head he makes eye contact with Lydia, both checking in with her and letting her know that they would be speaking later. Glancing down once, she met his eyes with a stiff nod before standing out of Jackson's arms and walking into the kitchen. The beta followed her slowly and Derek knew that he wanted to say something but didn't feel comfortable saying in Cora's presence. With another moment's hesitation he pushed through the kitchen door after Lydia.
Walking into the kitchen was almost jarring after the somber mood of the living room for the past few hours. The whole pack was stuffed in there, the sound of their laughter and banter mingled with the delicious smells of Christmas dinner. Scott and Isaac had taken the helm at the stove, both mixing and stirring ingredients as Stiles leaned over the counter, shamelessly flirting with Erica while she chopped ingredients and Boyd peeled potatoes with an amused look in his eyes.
Smiling up at Lydia, Erica quietly asked, "Everything okay?" As if they all hadn't been listening in on the tense confrontation with Lydia's father.
Offering her a tight smile, Lydia nodded and pulled her baby closer to her chest. Dropping her knife. Erica made her way over to Lydia and hugged the redhead, whispering, "It is going to be okay," into her ear, low enough that the other wolves probably missed it. Jackson took over Erica's post chopping things and the girls sat at the table for a few minutes. Hearing the front door open then close and then hearing someone on the stairs, Lydia handed the baby off to Erica before giving her a look, "He is in the backyard," she smiled before standing to take Jacob to bed.
Slipping out of the back door, Lydia spotted Derek in the backyard, his hands in is pockets, shoulders hunched under his leather coat, head staring down as if the snow held the secrets to the universe.
Walking gingerly down the stair, Lydia keeps her distance, not because she is scared of him—she could never be scared of Derek—but because she knows that he needs space when he is angry and that he tends to lash out when he is hurt. Crossing her arms against the cold, she lets her head drop forward. With a sigh, she whispers, "Please talk to me," her voice much weaker than she intended and a part of her hates that- that she lets him have that much control.
The tension in his shoulders increases for a moment, "Lydia," he starts, his voice tight.
Moving forward in jerky movements, she grabs his wrist, shocking him a bit as she pulls him inside the shed. As an afterthought she realizes that the pack had redone the shed, making it a soundproof training room for Derek and the pack as a Christmas gift and she had inadvertently ruined the surprise. Quickly suppressing her guilt because this conversation was more important right now, she tries, and fails, to catch Derek's eyes.
"It is soundproof in here, werewolf tested soundproof so no one can hear us," she explains, suddenly feeling awkward. He nods, his movements controlled as he digs his hands in his pockets.
Neither of them really know where to start this conversation- on one hand, Derek is inexplicably happy that Jacob is his son, but some part of the way he found out feels like a betrayal. Lydia did not run the test idly, he knows her, she does everything with intent and purpose and she should have told him. Jacob was his son too. Oh God, Jacob was his son, he felt breathless at the realization. Slowly he looked up at Lydia, grateful that she couldn't hear his heart, "You should have told me." He says softly.
Nodding pathetically, she agrees, "I know I should have, I am so sorry, I," she begins to ramble when he cuts her off.
"Did you do it because you didn't believe me?" He asks the floor more than her.
Pausing mid- rant, she furrows her brows, "What?"
"Did you have a DNA test done on Jacob because you didn't believe me when I told you that I wasn't his father?"
The furrow in her brow deepens because the thought had never occurred to her, "No," she answers dumbfounded, "I," she sighs, "Derek I never thought about that again. You said he wasn't your son and I believed you. I trust you." She answers, her words clear and determined yet betraying what trusting someone has cost her.
Continuing, she adds, "Derek, I wouldn't have cared if he were your son. I know you have a past, both of us do and I don't have a problem with that. But you have to know that I never even considered the idea that you had lied to me."
"Okay," he nods after a moment, "then why did you have him tested?" He questions some of the tension draining from his shoulders.
"I had Deaton run the test a few weeks ago because both you and Erica brought up his scent changing. It was so strange that he didn't have a scent when you found him, then he started to smell like me, which made sense because I was feeding him, so he literally had a part of me inside of him. But both of said that his scent was changing, that he smelled like you and I and I started to form a hypothesis. I knew Deaton had collected a DNA sample from the night we found him but I had him take a new one. He also tested me and I stole your hair from a brush and had him test it too."
Watching her intently as she explained, Derek's face was stone and Lydia could not tell if he was just processing her words and his own thoughts about her reasoning or if every word was building to a rage. Letting her words taper off, she dropped her hands to the side, waiting for his response.
When he finally spoke, his voice was soft and the hurt in it was clear, "Why didn't you tell me?" For the first time in this conversation he looks up and meets her eyes, "Lydia when you first suspected something, why didn't you tell me instead of going behind my back and having the test done?" After a moment's pause, he added, "How long have you known anyway?"
Looking at him with hurt filling her big green eyes she answers, "I have only known since yesterday morning, but with everything that has been going on, I haven't had time to figure out how to tell you," she defends.
"Um how about, 'Hey Derek, I think we should have a DNA test done on Jacob," he snarked.
Letting out a frustrated grunt, she snapped, "Do you want to know why I didn't tell you about the test before?" She crossing her arms, as if she is bracing herself, "It was because I wasn't sure. I had a hypothesis but I wasn't sure and I didn't want to tell you that Jacob was your child and then have the test prove that he wasn't okay?" She tried to swallow down her tears, "I didn't want," she paused to breath, and he watched her, knowing that her words were important but really not understanding her logic until she let the last line fall from her lips, "I didn't want you to lose anyone else." She looked down again.
"What?" He took a step towards her, suddenly ashamed at his earlier frustration.
Looking back up at him she explained, "Derek, you lost your whole family and I know that you don't talk about it much but I can feel how much you miss them and sometimes I see you watching the pack and I just want to cry because I know that you had a pack, a family, before us and they were taken from you. I couldn't get your hopes up, let you think that you had a family again and then take that from you too."
She stepped forward, her eyes pleading, "I didn't want to hurt you, not like that."
Stepping forward he crossed the distance between them, pulling her to his chest and taking several deep breaths, breathing in Lydia's scent, he responded, "I am sorry. I didn't mean to make you feel bad, but Lydia," he rubbed his nose in her hair, "I just," he grasped for words, "I need you to tell me what is going on. I know that you were trying to protect me, and believe me, I am so overwhelmed and grateful that you care enough about me to think like that. To try to protect me. But baby that I not your job, I need to know when you are worried about things," he pulled back, looking into her eyes, "Especially things about the pack and about Jacob. Honestly, the DNA test wouldn't have mattered, in my mind he is my son, genetics don't change that."
Nodding, she ran her hands down his arms, "I know, I know that genetics don't change the way we feel about him, but it does make it real."
"What do you mean? How is it real now?" His concern clear in his voice, he was worried that she was not happy about this discovery.
"It was real for me the first time I fed him; the first time I felt his heartbeat against my own," she clarified, "But I was so scared all the time, always worried that someone would show up and take him away from me. I tried to put on a strong face, but that would have killed me," she admitted, "Now that can't happen. He is ours; on paper and with science and anyone who tries to claim him can't."
Derek understood that Lydia trusted in science because it was quantifiable, it was concrete in its evolution and that brought her comfort. For him, things were instinctual, he trusted what he could see, smell, what his instincts told him. He knew that could get him in trouble at times, but it was what had gotten him this far in life.
Now, holding Lydia close as they both processed the day, he realized that he also trusted her- this tiny woman in his arms who had tried to protect him and had saved him in ways that she would never know. Kissing the top of her head, he pulled out of their embrace enough to look her in to eye, "Lydia I," he paused, rolling the words around in his mind, weighing them before speaking, "I love you and I trust you. I just thought you should know that," he states simply.
Feeling the tears prick her eyes, she sighs against his skin, "I love you too, I love you so much it scares me sometimes." Her voice sounds both relieved and broken, like she is revealing some great secret as she confesses. For the next few minutes, he just holds her close, thanking a God that he stopped believing in the day he saw his home in cinders, the smell of his family and burnt flesh hanging thick in the air, he thanks him for giving him the gift of this woman and of his son. For a moment Derek thinks that maybe, just maybe, the universe doesn't hate him.
Once they have each gotten their emotions in check, they break apart, Derek looking around for the first time, "Um, when did the shed become a gym?" he asks, his confusion clear on his face.
Giggling and wiping her nose, Lydia smiles, "Surprise," she exclaims weakly. At his raised eyebrow she continues, "This was supposed to be a surprise for you; it is the pack's Christmas gift for you. You know a place that you all can train and workout without anyone seeing or hearing anything they shouldn't. It is soundproofed and the windows are one way so the neighbors can''t see anything." She explained.
Looking around he took in the large room. He had always avoided the shed because it was full of Laura's things, all boxed up and neatly stored, but still reeking of her. Sometime the smell of her in house overwhelmed him, he just couldn't be surrounded by her things, by her scent. It was too much of a reminder about what he had lost. The pack had taken that space and converted it into something great, a state of the art space with plenty of room for all of them to practice.
"Wow," he mumbles as he test out a few of the weights, "This is great, you all didn't have to do this."
"Derek it is Christmas, we had to get you something and we all thought that this was the most useful thing we could do," chuckling she added, "Also, none of us want you getting arrested for slamming a bunch of teenagers into the backyard and we figured the neighbors may get concerned if they saw you training with the pack."
Chuckling he nodded, "True, but the neighbors weren't too concerned when Scott and Allison were fucking in the backyard, so they are either perverts, brain dead or completely apathetic to what happens over here."
Quirking her eyebrow, she laughs, "That is exactly what Stiles said."
"Never say that again," he told her straight faced before the both broke and started laughing. Kissing her gently, he cups her face, "Are we okay?"
Smiling she nods, "Yeah, we are okay." Taking his hand she opens the door, "Come on, we have a dinner to finish and a pack to feed." She pulls him towards the house. Groaning he allows her to lead him, secretly happy that, for the first time in years, he is surrounded by family on Christmas.
Entering the house felt like entering chaos- beautiful, blissful chaos. The pack was rushing around, setting the table, filling serving dishes and bantering with each other. Spotting Erica holding Jacob with one arm and placing silverware with the other, Derek crosses to her. Lifting his son into his arms, he cuddles the baby against his chest, "Hey buddy," he kissed the baby's head, looking up at the pack, he breaths in their collective scent, "Okay, what else needs to be done?"
There are a rush of responses and Derek hands the baby off to his mother and takes control of his kitchen back, when Peter joins him, the two moving with practiced ease around the kitchen, no one makes a comment. A few hours later the whole pack settles around the table, all smiles and giggles as the food is placed on the table.
"Um, do we say grace?" Isaac asks, confusion clear in his voice. Looking around everyone pauses, all unclear of each others religious beliefs. It is Boyd who breaks the silence,
"In my family, you know, before my dad," he looked down, "Well we would count our blessings, you know like what in our lives we were grateful for this year."
"That sounds great," Derek answers softly, he is rewarded with a wide smile from the stoic beta.
"I'll go first," Erica chirps, looking around she swallows a lump in her throat, "I am so grateful for each of you, my family, my pack. For the first time in my life I feel secure, safe," she smiles at each of them,
"I have friends and I love you all so much."
Reaching over, Lydia squeezes the blondes hand. "I am grateful for all you too," the redhead smiles,
"My whole life I have been surrounded by people. People who were supposed to be my friends, who were supposed to love me, but I never felt like I was enough. I never felt like I was whole. But here, with all of you, I have found that. I am grateful for my pack, I am grateful for my son, I am grateful for all of the love that life has brought me this year. I feel more blessed than I have ever been," She smiles a genuine smile, Derek's hand squeezing hers under the table.
Everyone takes a turn: Scott grateful that what he thought was a curse had led to friendships and has helped him become a person he didn't know he could be, Allison grateful for the pack's acceptance of her at the table, she knows that she has a long way to go to earn their trust back but the fact that they allow her here means a lot. Jackson jokes that he is just glad the losers can cook and Boyd is happy to feel included. Stiles jokes that Christmas dinner with mythological creatures and the two hottest girls in school is a dream come true, but he soberly adds that this is the best Christmas since his mom died because he is spending it with family. Cora is grateful to be back with her brother and is looking forward to reconnecting with him and to getting to know each member of the pack.
Isaac breaks everyone's heart a bit when he looks around and smiles saying, "I had forgotten what it was like, you know being in a family. I just," looking down at his plate he continues, "This is the first holiday in a long time that I felt safe and none of you will ever know what that means to me. You have taught me that life is more that fear and that is my blessing this year." That earns him a watery hug from Lydia and Erica and a manly should squeeze from Derek.
After a wonderful meal and a lot of laughing everyone is cleaning up. Derek pulls Lydia to his chest, pressing a kiss to her forehead before smiling down at her, "Okay, I will admit this was not a terrible idea."
Grinning up at he she geodes, "So, I was right, Christmas should be celebrated to it's fullest."
"I didn't say all that, but dinner was nice," He admits, kissing her while Stiles and Jackson argued over who got to do the dishes. Suddenly, Lydia goes rigid in his arms and he pulls back in time to see her eyes flash green as she dives for Isaac who is standing by the table holding Jacob.
Before anyone can react the glass from the window shatters as Lydia shoves Isaac back into the table. Everyone freezes for a moment and then Lydia lets out a small squeak, her eyes fading to their normal shade as her eyes are drawn down to the arrow now sticking out of her abdomen.
Before he can process the image, Derek is across the room, catching her before she can hit the ground. Isaac is staring helplessly as Jacob starts to squall in his arms and he realizes that Lydia just took an arrow meant for him. His world moves in slow motion as chaos erupts around him.