Any references to TMNT or anything from popular media and culture is NOT MINE. I only own my OC's.

Chapter #25

*Still Aug. 31st, later that night into the early morning*
*Donnie's lab*
Themes throughout the chapter:
Skillet-Believe
Skillet-Say Goodbye
Skillet-Everything Turns Black
Hurts-Stay

Donnie rushed back into his lab and quickly sat down in his swivel chair. He had gained so much momentum that he had to cling to the desk so that the wheels didn't drag him to the other side of the room since he had sat down so fast. He was holding a small Lexar SD card in his hand and he was carefully but quickly inserting it into his computer. As soon as he had heard Jay say that he found their lair through the tunnel that they had rarely ever used then he had some suspicions. Once that suspicion entered his mind, he was off. He sprinted through the tunnels until he had reached the camera that was located in that tunnel way and just like the man had said, it was disabled. Donnie checked and discovered that the SD card was still inside the camera and he prayed that it was still in god condition. Now that he was in his lab and at his computer he was able to confirm that all the footage being held on the card was safe and in good quality. He pulled up files and files of weeks to months' worth of footage until he came across the very last file. It was just as he had thought, the last set of footage was from the incident with Sam earlier that month.

He paused for a moment, took a deep breath in, and then cupped his hands around his mouth as he slowly exhaled. He tried to make sure that he was calm before he played this video since he wasn't exactly sure what he would see. All the thoughts in his mind were still jumbled up after everything that Jay had told them mere hours ago and he knew that whatever he would watch now would just make his thoughts even more crazy and chaotic. But he needed to see this footage because it was this that would allow him to officially decide how he felt about this entire situation. He took one final long deep breath and clicked the play button.

The camera was placed at the end of the tunnel so that you could see the entire walk way rather than just one section, and after a couple of minutes of the reel starting, Sam appeared at the far end of the tunnel. As she sulked forward, Donnie could see that her eyes were still a bright blue shinning color. Donnie jumped when a huge unexpected gust of air flew out from Sam's sides even though she hadn't moved and was just standing there in the middle of the tunnel way. It was hard to hear and see at first, but whimpers could be heard from Sam as tears started streaming down her cheeks. She then clenched her hands into fists and started screaming as she started punching the walls.
"Why couldn't you just keep your mouth shut?!" Sam started shouting. "Why couldn't you just shut up and listen?!"
It was obvious that her original expression was filled with nothing but anger and fury, but it gradually turned into an apologetic expression that was filled with regret.
"I could have killed you…I almost killed you…" Sam said as she then began to clutch her sides. She started shivering from fear.
"How could I do that…what have I done…" At this time Sam was still holding her sides but she was now leaning against the wall for support, almost like she would have collapsed to the floor if the wall hadn't been there to hold her up.
"Their faces…I'm sorry…I'm sorry…" she repeated over and over again. That's all she said for the longest time as she sulked in her hunched over position along the wall. She continued to stay this way until something must have clicked in her mind and she suddenly went from apologetic to furious as she went back to clenching her fists.
"This is all your fault, you took my family away from me again!" Sam said as she went back to shouting. She was now pacing back and forth along the tunnel way as she continued to shout to herself.
"First you steal my siblings parents, then my parents, then my siblings, and I FINALLY!" she said as she once again punched the wall, "I FINALLY find people who make me happy again and give my life meaning and answer my prayers of asking my siblings to send me a sign that they're still watching over me and YOU TOOK THEM AWAY AGAIN! Screw you Shredder! You can't ruin my life anymore if I'm not here!"
And that fast Sam ran towards the wall headfirst, bashing her head so hard that a loud smack sound came from the collision. Donnie's eyes went wide as he saw the girl lie on the ground with slight bleeding coming from her forehead. He sped up the footage to see what had happened to her next, terrified that something horrible could have happened to her while she lie there alone and unprotected. Within minutes he skimmed over four hours' worth of footage until her finally saw Sam get back up. She slowly and groggily raised herself into an upright sitting position. She leaned her back against the wall for support and laid her legs in front of her flat on the ground. It seemed that she was fighting to keep her eyes open, but after a few minutes she won as her eyes popped open wide. Donnie assumed that she was realizing all that had happened based on her reaction, and the next part was what hurt more than anything else he had seen.
Sam pulled out her cell phone and her face sunk even more as she looked at the screen. Donnie wasn't sure what she was looking at since the camera angle only captured the back of the phone, but his thoughts were answered when he saw Sam bend her knees and pull them in and up to her chin and say "Nothing. No messages. They didn't come for me…they aren't coming for me…I'm on my own again. I made the wrong choice and now NONE of them want me around anymore, not even him. I'm so sorry…" She then buried her face in her knees as she lightly sobbed. After a few minutes of this, Sam stood up and used her hands to dry her eyes, and she began to exit the tunnel. As she got closer and closer to the tunnel's exit, she finally realized that there had been a security camera filming her the entire time. She looked right into the lens and said "Don't come after me, I don't deserve you guys anyway" and then the screen went blank. That was the last piece of footage both from that day and in general since Sam had shut down the camera as she said her last intended words for the turtles.

Donnie was so pissed that he stood up, picked up his swivel chair, and threw it against a small open space against the wall in the room.
"You wanna talk about it?" April asked cautiously.
Donnie turned back around to see April sitting on the bed in the far corner of the room and that the door was shut. How did she keep doing that? Were his emotions messing with his mind so much that he couldn't even sense another person entering his most secretive space (besides his bedroom that is)?
"Not really, but I'm sure that's what you're supposed to do in this situation" he said as he put his hands on the back of his head, trying to compose himself and make sure that April never saw him react like that to anything ever again.
"So, what part of the video caused that reaction?"
Donnie blushed a bit. "You saw the video? How long have you been in here?"
"Umm, well first yes I saw the video, and second, I've been sitting here since the video started playing. I've actually been trying to catch up to you ever since you rushed out of the lair earlier and this is where I finally caught up."
"Why were you following me?"
"I followed you and Splinter followed Raph. We had a feeling you two might need some company right now."
Donnie sighed as he went to sit down, and then fell to the floor. April quickly stood up and walked over to Donnie as she bent over and reached her arm out.
"You threw it against the wall, remember?"
"Heh, right" he said as he blushed again while taking her hand and standing back up. "Um, to answer your original question about the awkward reaction…all of it."
"The entire video set you off?" April asked as she sat on top of the lab table.
"Pretty much. It's just…my mind is so hectic right now, and not in the 'stressed from cracking so many codes' type way like when I have a million projects to work on" he said as he walked over and set his chair back up and moved his seat closer to the table his friend was sitting on.
"Okay, let's break it down piece by piece. How did you feel when you saw Sam punching walls and screaming in the beginning?"
"Honestly, I thought I would want to think 'she deserves to act this way after what she did'…but I didn't. I wanted to reach out and tell her that it wasn't all her fault. I wanted to comfort her like when…"
"When she used to be like family?" April cut in.
Donnie didn't give a verbal response, but he nodded his head as his gaze faced the floor.
"I should hate her, I want to hate her. Maybe it's everything that Jay said earlier today, since all of that made a lot more sense and everything he said sounded exactly like Sam, or at least it sounded like the Sam we once knew."
"So basically you couldn't keep yourself from wanting to comfort her, almost like if you were comforting a sister?"
"Yeah" the turtle mumbled.
"Is that how you felt when you saw her crying? Or when you saw her yelling at Shredder?"
"Actually, I wanted to tell her more than that. I felt the need to confront her and tell her that I understood her and that it wasn't her fault…but it is! I mean she hid information from us that obviously back fired and started this horrible situation in the first place! And even when she had chances to confess to us herself, she still ran away! Don't we mean more to her than that? Obviously we don't mean enough to her since she keeps telling us to stay away and since she keeps hiding from us."
"Donnie…" April said gently, "didn't you see her crying? Didn't you see her apologizing for and questioning her actions? That plus everything Jay said about her covering for you guys, it's easy to see that she loves the hell out of all of you. Do you honestly believe anything you've been telling me, or are those the thoughts you think you should have?"
"…I know it's what I think I should be thinking, but supporting her just seems wrong. I keep thinking about all the bad that's happened this past month, but then randomly hearing that she's been protecting us this entire time and then watching her reactions to that night in this video makes it seem like she's on our side again and it's just so confusing."
"Then think about this. Mikey told me you guys were chasing her the other night. Why were you chasing after her if you think you should hate her so much?"
Donnie paused for a good while before he finally spoke again. "I wanted answers and I wanted to know the truth. I wanted to know if things would ever go back to the way they used to be. I mean…in a way I never want them to go back to the way they used to be, but now knowing that Sam is really on our side…I just want to go back" he said as he pushed his glasses up and covered his eyes with his palms. He never expected Sam to make him feel emotional like this, or at all, when they all first met, and yet here he was trying to calm himself from getting upset at everything that had happened.
"Is that how you felt at the end of the video? When she talked about no one coming after her."
"That's the worst part," he said, fighting to remain calm but still letting out small choked sobs as he talked. "If Sam really is the person that this video shows her to be, and if everything Jay said was true, then we just abandoned out sister who's been loyal to us the entire time. We've been letting her deal with the Foot clan and Shredder and everything in between all by herself, and that's the thing, she didn't want to do everything alone. Jay said that she thought the rebellion would take place way sooner than it has, and she didn't want to lose our trust and so she did everything on her own, but she never wanted that. She probably wanted to tell us everything from the beginning but she thought that for everyone's sake it would be best to handle things on her own which is what she's been doing since her siblings died, but she never wanted that from the start. And then when a time came for us to back her up and listen, we pushed her away. And even after we did all that she's still protecting us! And knowing Shredder he's not taking that lightly! Every physical pain, every built up emotion in this video, I'm sure Shredder is constantly making her feel that every day times ten!"
"So what is your gut telling you to do? You hate seeing her in pain, right? You want things to go back to the way they used to be, right? So what are you going to do about it?" April asked in a serious tone.
Donnie removed his hands from his face and looked back up at April. He could sense what she was getting at and he realized that he finally knew what he wanted to do. After weeks of not understanding what was happening and going back and forth from knowing and not knowing what was true and not being able to differentiate what he felt from what he thought he should have felt, he finally came to a conclusion on what should happen next. Donnie stood up and for the first time displayed a harsh and rigid expression on his face. He clenched his fist together and shot April a sharp glare full of confidence. He wished he had known a lot of this information earlier, but whether it was true or not he wanted to believe that Sam was still the good hearted woman they had all come to know and love, and he was tired of waiting around for the next answer to come sneaking its way into his home. He wanted to hear everything from Sam herself, to see how she would react to seeing them and to have that be the official answer to all his questions and comments. He knew what needed to be done and he was finally ready to admit it.

"I'm going to go get Sam back" he said, and he rushed out the door so that he could try to convince his brothers to join him.

*A few minutes earlier, Raph's room*

Raph was pacing back and forth in his room. He wanted to beat the shit out of his punching bag…except he had used up all the bags just a few days ago. Chasing after Sam with Donnie nights previous had triggered his rage once again and within a few days of the event he went right back to his extreme and brutal workouts. Since currently there was nothing he could destroy, or at least nothing that wouldn't upset the rest of his family, he was trying to slow down his breathing as he paced back and forth in his room. He was so lost in thought that he hadn't heard Splinter knock multiple times and with no response slowly open up the door and peeked his head inside. Splinter watched as his son continued to walk back and forth over and over again.
"Raphael…" he said softly.
Raph still couldn't hear him as he continued to pace back and forth. Splinter entered the room and walked over to a spot that would cross his son's path. Raph turned around and almost jumped in shock at randomly seeing his father standing directly behind him.
"Jeez dad. Knock much?" he asked, shaking his head to calm himself from the jump scare.
"I did knock, three times to be exact" his father said. It wasn't a question, but Raph could tell by the way his father spoke that he was questioning his current behavior.
"*sigh* I'm scared dad" Raph said as he sat down on his bed.
"You're still afraid of Samantha hurting you?" Splinter asked in a confused tone.
"No, I'm not scared of that anymore. I've come to terms with the fact that if I had treated her differently then maybe she wouldn't have become so violent. That's how it was when we first met her to" Raph said. He hadn't realized that as he said this last part that he had started looking off into space, losing himself in his thoughts as he remembered everything that had happened when Sam first came into their lives and noticing the similarities in those times verse how things were now.
Splinter however picked up on his sons actions and tried to bring him back to the topic at hand.
"So what exactly is it that you're afraid of then my son?" Splinter asked calmly.
Raph closed his eyes for a few seconds, calming himself before he answered his father's question.
"For the reason I just explained to you dad. I'm the reason she acted the way she did. If everything Jay told us was true, then that means Sam tried to explain what she was going through the night that we pushed her away. She reached out to us, to me, the one who in the room with her. And what did I do? I insulted her family right to her face." Raph then balled his fist as he firmly grasped at the bedsheets on his mattress. "And to make matters worse, I was so scared and pissed in the moment when she attacked me that night that during the weeks that followed I continued to blame her for what I had done wrong. Everyone thought that she had tried to hurt me for no reason, but I was the sole reason for my own pain, yet I continued to blame her. Why didn't I learn from when we first met her? I treated her like shit in the beginning and the only time she cooperated with us when Mikey was kind to her, so why the hell would I think treating her like shit would be the best route to take now?"
Splinter hated to hear people curse, but he knew that now was not the time to complain about such habits. He could tell his son was hurting emotionally and that now was the time to be sympathetic rather than ridiculing.
"A wise man once said: The more sand has escaped from the hourglass of our life, the clearer we should see through it" Splinter said as he smiled down at his son who was still sitting on the bed.
Raphael shot his dad a bewildered look. "Come again?"
Splinter let out a light chuckle. "It means that as one ages they will make mistakes, and after you learn how to prevent that mistake from happening again, you will then make even more mistakes."
"So I need to make mistakes to gain wisdom? No offense Sensei but that sounds dumb" Raph huffed under his breath.
The old rat chuckled again. "No my son, it means that each time you make a mistake you must learn something new from that experience. Based on the words of the metaphor, as the sand slips through the hourglass, the more clearly we can see the life lessons being taught through it. You will constantly make mistakes throughout your life, but it's up to you to gain experience and knowledge from each one and better yourself. Once you learn how to avoid your previous mistake, something from what you've learned will come up to create a new mistake. It's a cycle that will never end Raphael, and only you can decide whether you will learn from each mistake and become a better person based on what you've learned or not."
Splinter then put his hand on his sons shoulder as he spoke to him sympathetically.
"You've heard how Samantha felt that night and you know that even now after all that's happened she is still fighting to protect our family, and you know that you're part of the reason that she left in the first place. You have pushed her away twice now, so what will you learn from this experience? What will you do to fix this problem? What lessons is your hourglass of life telling you my son?" Raphael smiled up at his father while also glaring at him with confidence. He rose to his feet and cracked his neck to the side.
"I've learned that I need to stop thinking the worst possible thoughts before getting to know someone. I need to communicate with them before reacting violently, both physically and verbally. I need to be more compassionate and wait to discuss things with my brothers rather than just come at my opponent by myself. And I know that I've been a jerk to Sam in the worst ways possible which has aided in her separation from our family, something that she didn't and still doesn't deserve. In order to fix this situation I'm going to convince my brothers that we should go after Sam and talk to her ourselves and judge the situation based on her own words and reactions." And before his father could say another word to him, Raph quickly exited his room and headed for the living room. *A few minutes earlier, the living room* Leo sat on the raised circular stand that covered the top of Splinter's room and through his meditation reflected on all that had happened that night. He'd be a liar if he said he didn't feel a bit relieved at hearing what Jay had to say. Of course there was still the off chance that Jay was in on a plot against them and that everything he said was a lie…but everything he had said sounded exactly like the Sam they had come to know.
The details about her wanting to aide in the fall of the Foot matched the adrenaline filled mindset Sam had when she was going through rigorous trainings with the guys, and it sounded exactly like Sam when they were told that she could handle everything on her own in order to prevent the turtles from losing her trust and to prevent them from getting hurt. Ever since Sam had been allowed into the lair on a daily basis she had constantly tried to get closer to the guys and have them gain her trust, and multiple times she had made it known how much she cared for them and their well-being. Leo then thought back to the night that Donnie had pushed her away from the falling debris as they fought some Foot soldiers and how Sam wouldn't leave Donnie's side as she fought off any and all who tried to harm him. Apparently earlier that same day Sam had saved Donnie from falling to his death down an elevator shaft, and she had also helped knock out one of the mutants that was attacking Raph, AND she had even talked to the Mutanimals and because of this she knew how to get the larger of the mutant group to calm down and leave the turtles alone after cornering them. After all the times she had rescued them, was going that far just to a fake friendship? Sam was also JUST finally learning what it was like to be part of a family again and that she wasn't alone anymore, so Leo could easily believe that in a situation as crazy as this one that she would have converted back to her old ways and try to handle things by herself. Leo then added some logic to the equation. It was much more believable that Sam had said all those harsh things to him that night in order to push his family further away from her so that they wouldn't chase her down and try to rescue her from headquarters compared to what she had actually said. She had shared such personal and heartbreaking information with them and had shed so many tears with them the night of the anniversary, so it was difficult for him to believe that all those emotions were fake so that she could get closer to the turtles and gain information about them, especially when she had learned a lot about the guys but she had definitely shared many more stories and much more information about herself. Also, learning that Sam was lying about the turtles location and that she was covering for the guys for the past month, hence no Foot clan attacks in the sewers, made a lot more sense than Shredder moving all the NY clan members back to Tokyo. Learning about Shredders plan also made a lot more sense as to why there was no general Foot clan activity throughout the city. Leo then slowly opened his eyes as he continued to sit in his meditative position. He had just described so many details about Sam's emotional and physical state of mind which proved how much he had gotten to know the girl within the months that she had been visiting him and his family in the lair, and how did they all treat her after getting to know her? They kicked her out. After all she had shared with them, after showing how much she wanted to help protect them, and even after calling out to them the night of the incident and asking for help, they just left her all alone. As these thoughts began to wander through Leo's mind, he saw Mikey walking from the dojo and across the room to the exit way by the living room.
"Mikey-"
"You know," Mikey cut in as he was walking past Leo and then deadpanned and started ranting as he stood in place, using his hands as he spoke furiously, "I'm the only one who's been trying to figure out what was going on because I knew something wasn't right. No one else did anything but sulk and hide. And what did we learn? I was right the entire time, and do you know what that means? It-"
"It means that Sam called out for help and we ignored her and pushed her away to the point where she was suffering all alone again."
Leo and Mikey turned their eyes towards Donatello who had just stepped out of his lab and was walking over towards where his brothers were.
"I just watched video footage of how Sam reacted to the events from that night."
"What?" Mikey asked lightly, his expression instantly switching from furious to concerned.
Donnie nodded. "I found the tunnel that Sam left through that night, it was the same one Jay used to sneak into our home. The camera at the end of that tunnel had footage of how Sam reacted to the incident that night, and let's just say it says a lot about how she really does hate what happened that night and that she truly does care about us."
"I want to-"
"No you don't" Donnie said as he cut of his younger brother. "You don't want to see it."
"Donnie I WANT-"
"I threw a chair at the wall" Donnie said as he pursed his lips together. "I've never reacted that way to anything, but that's the only way I could respond to what I saw. So trust me when I say that you don't want to see it."
Mikey was silent, but he nodded his head.
"There's only one way to fix this," Raph said as he entered the room to Donnie's right and the other two's left where the bedrooms were located, "we need to hear all this from Sam herself. What her intentions were, why she did what she did, everything." Raph then turned towards his youngest brother and gave him an apologetic look. "And this time we'll listen, all of us."
Mikey could tell that Raph was singling himself out in the fact that it was him who truly needed to listen and that he was ready to own up to and fix his mistake in how he treated Sam that night.
Mikey's jaw then dropped slightly as he realized what all his brothers were getting at.
"Wait…you guys don't mean…"
"You know, you need to learn to listen" Leo said with a small smile as he glared at his brother in confidence, just like Raph and Donnie were doing as well. "I was going to tell you the same thing, but it looks like I was beaten to it thanks to your outburst. So, who's ready to create a revenge plan against Shredder and bring Sam back?" Mikey had no words to say. He was overjoyed that his brothers were finally looking at the situation the same way he had been. It took them all awhile, but now everyone was on the same page. If he ever got to meet him again then Mikey knew he would have to thank Jay for aiding in getting his brothers to finally come to the conclusion that Sam was still the same girl they had all come to know and love and that she needed their help, something she had been asking for from the beginning. It was much more believable that Sam had said all those harsh things to him that night in order to push his family further away from her so that they wouldn't chase her down and try to rescue her from headquarters than what she had actually said. She had shared such personal and heartbreaking information with them and had shed so many tears with them the night of the anniversary, so it was difficult for him to believe that all those emotions were fake so that she could get closer to him and his brothers. For now though, Mikey just smiled and glared with confidence in the same way his brothers had been as they all gathered up and began plotting how they were going to save both Sam and the entire city and how they would participate in the fall of the Foot clan later that night.

Sorry I know this is one of my smaller chapters, but I wanted to keep it separate from the next one since it should be really long. There's going to be a lot of important and dramatic and exciting events coming up and I wanted to keep this part separate from that. But I hope you guys are enjoying the story so far and that you'll be excited for what comes next. I apologize if the update is late though since I'll be going on a family vacation very soon, but don't worry I'll make sure that it's up before the end of this month! God I hope it doesn't take that long for me to get the next update ready, but sometimes life is crazy -_-

But don't worry I already know what is going to happen, it's just finding the time to get everything typed up and making sure everything makes sense. But again I hope you guys are enjoying the story so far and I can't wait to show you what's in store for these guys :3