Title: A Little Romance
Characters: SupermanxBatman
Rating: T
Warnings: Humor, Some crack/ooc
Description: Sometimes, Clark just wants a little romance. Is that too much to ask?
Planning anything in advance has always been an exercise in futility. There's always some major disaster or planet-wide threat or crazy psycho bent on world domination. Clark has gotten used to being spontaneous, at taking what chances he can get to corner Bruce in a supply closet, or a shower stall, or sneaking into his massive bedroom at the manor for a little cuddle-time.
Bruce, of course, abhors cuddle time. Sometimes, he'll relent if Clark looks pitiful enough, but the fact of the matter remains. Their relationship requires spontaneity to survive.
But every once in a while Clark wants a little romance.
The problem with that is his and Bruce's definition of romance varies greatly. Clark, raised in Smallville with good old-fashioned farm boy thinking, likes the ideas of candles and private dinners and soft music and wooing from the heart. Bruce, who has to use these tactics on many a fair, shallow lady, pretty much abhors said definition of romance.
It's tacky, in his opinion, and pointless.
Then again, Bruce wouldn't know real romance if it came up and clocked him across the face.
He has all the pretty words when it comes to women, but what does Clark get? Gruff, one syllable statements. A glare if he's lucky. Sometimes, he even gets to sleep on the couch. Fun times really.
Bruce can remember, to the thirtieth digit and beyond, the numbers of pi. He has the formulas for numerous poisons and antidotes and anything in-between all memorized. There are sheets and books worth of data stored in that amazing brain of his.
Anniversary dates, on the other hand, are filed somewhere that ensure they are never remembered. Birthdays are a shot in the dark. It's enough to drive a man to do drastic things!
Not that Clark would ever turn to committing an act of evil. But an act of pure deviousness? That's not entirely beyond him.
So if he has to fake a distress call in Gotham City just to get his lover's attention, he knows Bruce will be too angry and mortified to tell anyone else. And Clark's certainly not going to spread the news.
That ought to satisfy Bruce's warped idea of romance. Saving the err, damsel, in distress. Though Clark's hardly a damsel, he's rarely in distress, and he's going to have to endure several days worth of ranting in the aftermath. The prelude, however, is going to be more than worth the consequences.
Now Clark sits in a dark alley and waits for his heroic Dark Knight in Kevlar armor to arrive and sweep him off his feet.
At least there isn't any Kryptonite this time. Bruce really hates that.
a/n: Poor Clark. He's 0 for 2 when it comes to ideas.
More updates to come as I gradually catch up to how far behind I've gotten.
Feedback is welcome and appreciated.