w w w . l i t e r a l l y m a d . c o m

While little hands make vain pretence. Our wanderings to guide.

On the deck, I took my usual seat and removed the lighter from my pocket, holding the flame to the end until it glowed black. Bella sat on my lap, a hand around my neck, her fingers twisting into the hair.

I raised my eyebrows and looked at her to answer the earlier question. "Cake, yes. I have a bit of a sweet tooth," I explained with a grin, placing slightly parted lips against the crook of her neck.

"I'm not really picky about the type. Though, I do have a penchant for red velvet." I laughed to myself at the tie-in, the past linked to the future.

"Red velvet? I think I had that once. I used to like caramel and chocolate." I smiled at the fuzzy memories. "I can't remember too well what it tasted like, but I do remember I liked it."

His hair was soft and thick between my fingers, the smoke from his cigarette blew around in the misty air.

I crossed my ankles and wiggled my toes for a minute. The sweatpants were starting to hang over my feet.

"Do you know how to swim?" I turned my face toward his.

"Mmm," I moaned softly, "have you ever had fleur de sel caramels?" My mouth watered at the thought. "They're one of my favorites, sweet buttery caramel and a hint of saltiness. The perfect combination."

I slid my hand to her back, the pads of my thumbs rubbing lazy circles against the exposed skin. "I do," I nodded at the memory, taking a long drag off the cigarette.

"Grams," I continued as I exhaled the smoke into the air, watching it curl toward the heavens. "I was never one for sports, but being here on the water, she felt it was safer if I knew how to swim. The whole moat around the house thing, too. Pretty risky for little kids, I guess."

"Do you have any other family? Besides the Chief, I mean?"

I shook my head.

"No other family. Just Charlie and I." I twisted my mouth. "Everyone is gone."

I thought for a moment.

"Can you do me a huge favor?" I turned in his lap, facing him. My hands resting still on his stomach.

"I'm sorry, I kind of assumed." I inhaled deeply, the smoke filing my lungs as she shifted in my lap.

"Anything," I answered truthfully.

I went to drag my fingers through my hair and frowned when they got stuck in the messy ponytail.

I groaned at my sloppiness.

"There are others of us, out there. Around here." I stared at him. "They aren't all nice and don't follow the same, ummmm, eating habits, that we do."

I traced a finger over his bottom lip.

"Just be careful, okay?"

I pursed my lips to her fingertip, kissing it lightly. "I'm invincible, remember? Superman," I said with a smile.

Her strained expression meant she was serious. Dead serious. "I will, Bella. But, maybe you should stay with me at all times," I added. "In fact, maybe we should stay here, in this house, forever."

My finger tingled where his lips had been. I leaned forward, my lips parted to his for a brief moment.

"Just, be aware." I had never wanted to keep someone with me as badly as I wanted him. I just hoped a certain family friend wouldn't show his face around here until after Edward and I were safe.

I kept my eyes on his, lifting the hooded sweatshirt over my head, dropping it on the ground at his feet.

I smiled once. Stood from his lap and pushed the sweatpants from my hips and stepped out of them, kicking them off to the side.

"You ever use the hot tub, Edward?"

I slowly pulled my rumpled shirt over my head, dropped it in his lap and turned to walk toward the back side of the porch.

As she stood, I had to resist reaching for her to pull her back. I was rewarded for my patience. She grasped the hem of my sweatshirt and lifted it up in a fell swoop.

Yes. Do that.

I swallowed thickly, watching her peel my clothes from her small frame. "Um, not really. Not in a long time," I confessed, my hand fumbling with the remote, nearly dropping it when her hands slid along her hips. The hot tub was on already. I turned off the internal lights and turned the jets on.

Nearly ripping my clothing at the seams, I followed suit. She was already in the water when I reached her, legs and arms extended. Her head was tilted all the way back, resting against the concrete. I hovered over her and kissed her forehead.

"How's the temperature?" I wondered if it felt different to her, having such a low body temperature. "Too hot?"

I was soaking up the heat from the water. I could feel my skin warming quickly.

"Absolutely perfect." I smiled with my eyes closed. "You should come in."

Before my hands got wet, I turned off all the deck lights. The moon was full and high, silver streaks shimmered in the water. Tiny lights in the distance marked other homes on the lake. In the darkness, they would have merely blended into the stars were it not for the change of hue.

I was anxious to see what effect the heater had on her skin and slid toward her. My hand moved to Bella's bare stomach.

Warm. She's warm.

My eyes widened quickly in a flicker of excitement. Still slick and smooth beneath the water, Bella's body had absorbed the heat, evening our respective temperatures.

"It is perfect," I agreed.

I smiled at his surprise when his hand moved over my skin.

I lifted one hand and wrapped it at the back of his neck, drawing his face into mine.

My tongue darted along his lips. Heaven. I moaned quietly and pulled him closer, allowing his lips to move with mine.

I breathed in deeply, taking in as much of him as possible. My fingers itched to rake through his hair, but I needed to be careful.

I pulled back slowly, resting my forehead to his and whispered to him as his eyes met mine.

"We have to be careful, Edward. If I hurt you, you have to say something." I hated having to put that warning out there. It felt so ridiculous, but one squeeze too tight, one touch too heavy, and he could easily be broken.

I ran my fingers gently over his bare back, my hands dipping into the water.

Torn between wanting to ravage her and not wanting to be ravaged in the process, I heeded her warning. She had tremendous restraint, an ability to pull back when things were too intense. When she moaned, I lost the ability to think, let alone make that assertion.

Our bodies moved together in the water, her legs wrapped around mine, pulling me into her hips. My heart sped as she pulled back, whispering a warning. I nodded in understanding before slowly parting her lips with my tongue.

Her smooth legs constricted against my skin and her hips writhed against me, building heat from the friction. I fought to hold my position, eventually succumbing to the movement she was initiating.

Stop thinking.

Her head fell back and I moved my mouth to the hollow of her throat, licking the beads of water off her cool, exposed skin. With a quiet whimper, she ground into me as my teeth grazed her throat. My hand slid along her slick skin and released the clasp in the center of her back. As the lace fell, I moved my mouth to the strap, taking it in my teeth to pull it down off her shoulder.

Slowly.

"So come on, get higher, loosen my lips

Faith and desire and the swing of your hips

Just pull me down hard and drown me in love"*

His lips, his teeth, his hands were all a part of me. Moving in a mesmerizing rhythm.

I had to whisper words of caution, I couldn't allow him to get hurt. Not for me. Not for this. I wanted everything to be perfect.

He used his teeth to remove the strap from my shoulder, the material drifted from my arms into the water.

I pulled him into me, my legs tight around his waist, pressing my body into his. I could feel his heart beating wildly against my chest. My mouth clung to his greedily. Tasting every inch of him that I could.

My hands moving up over his damp, strong arms. Feeling his muscles flex, my fingers played over his shoulders, resting on his face, holding him close.

His low moan of appreciation had me ready to jump out of my skin. The muscles in my legs coiled against his waist and I had to fight to keep myself in control, careful and steady.

I rested my lips at his ear.

"I need you, Edward." My hips rolled against his without thought.

The desperation inside threatened to burst through my body, taking over every action I was fighting to control. Her bare chest moved against mine and my hands explored her polished skin, palming the space between us.

The subtle mix of salt in the water coupled with her sweet, spicy scent blended together into a craving that would never be satiated. My mouth moved along her exposed skin slowly as I awaited the urgent plea to stop.

The silence was occasionally broken by a quiet whimper, a soft moan.

The warning never came.

I sat in Edward's room as he slept.

"Happy to lay here

Just happy to be here, I'm happy to know you

Play me a song, your newest one

Please leave your taste on my tongue"**

He would mumble quietly at times. I read books from his shelves and tucked notes in between the pages.

I smiled when I heard my name pass between his lips.

He had been asleep for seven hours, the grey sky was bringing light to the darkened room. I crept over to the bed, crawly silently up to the pillow next to him.

I rested my head and took notice of his peaceful face. There was a bruise on his jaw. I bit back on the shudder that threatened to move my body.

My fingers worked quickly, silently, pulling the sheet from his shoulder, another mark, you could see an exact hand print, faint and purple on his bicep.

I lowered the sheet again, his ribs were speckled in purplish spots.

Look what you did. Selfish, Bella.

I pulled the sheet back over his arm. I hoped he was okay when he finally decided to wake up. I was not looking forward to seeing the rest of the damage that I had caused.

"And no need to worry, that's wasting time

And no need to wonder what's been on my mind

It's you"

I felt the sun on my face before my eyes opened, grimacing against it. Bella's sweet smell was heavy in the room, the first thing that registered after the light. I opened an eye, just a crack, and she had been watching me.

"Good morning," I muttered, voice gravely with sleep. Wrapping my body around hers like a blanket, I pulled her in. "How's my beautiful fiance?" I would never tire of that. My eyes moved to her hand, my Mother's ring nestled perfectly around her finger.

"Ready or not, here comes the drop

You feel lucky when you know where you are

You know it's gonna come true

Here in your arms I remember

It's only natural that I should want to be there with you

It's only natural that you should feel the same way too"***

Edward's arms wrapped around me for a moment, making me forget about the bruises on his body. I hadn't even gotten a full on good look at him. What I had seen didn't look pretty.

"I'm fine." I waited a beat before continuing. "Edward, can I just." My fingers pulled at the sheet a bit, and he smiled a sleepy crooked grin.

"No way, Superman. I just wanted to see something." I tried to ready myself for what was waiting. What I had done. I dragged the sheet over his chest, counting the purple marks this time, they were scattered across his shoulders, ribs, his shorts were twisted low at this hips and I could see one long dark bruise there.

I could feel myself tensing. My back was tight, my hand was steady but unfriendly as I pulled the sheet from his legs.

Just a few at his thighs.

"Edward." My eyes moved back to face, now marred by my selfish behavior. How was he going to explain that? I mean, he had a cut above his eye, and now a bruise across his opposite jaw?

You're on a roll, Bella. Way to go, birthday girl.

She was really upset about the bruises. "Bella," I touched her face tenderly and kissed her forehead, "I am in no pain, I assure you.

In fact," I kissed each of her cheeks between the words, "I have never felt better in my entire life."

My hand skimmed the length of her arm in an attempt to soothe her. "Come on," I urged with a crooked smile, "let's take a shower and you can evaluate all the bumps and bruises."

*Matt Nathanson, Come on Get Higher

**Joshua Radin, Paperweight

***Crowded House, Its Only Natural