Disclaimer: nope I don't own :)))

WARNING: Ooookay! small lemon in this chappy :) just letting ya know.

It had all been a lie. Her friends, her trainings, her parents, her life, her humanity! It was all planned from the very beginning. She never had a choice. All this was very clear to her now, yet...she couldn't bring herself to be angry, only sadness and slight happiness was present. Why? Her accident was so horrible and the pain she endured was unforgettable. So then why exactly? She still remember that day so clearly...

Flashback

"Rin! Sweetie be careful..." Her mother yelled after her.

"Oh, mother. I'm no longer a small child. Don't worry." Rin smiled reassuringly at her mother.

"Well, okay. Please, though, stay away from the ledge. There are many bad demons out here as well." Her mother informed for the third time. Rin simply giggled and took off.

That's when she spotted it. The most beautiful bed of flowers she had ever seen.

"Oh! I absolutely love flowers! Wow, how beautiful." She knelt down, caressing the rare flower's petals. She froze and her eyes widened. 'wh--why can't I move?!' she thought, panic running through her full force as she tried to move but tried in vain. The flower glowed brightly and it turned into a giant weed plant with the petals around it's neck. 'oh no! Someone please help me!' She thought, tears beginning to collect in her eyes.

"Hahaha!! You foolish human! Did you really think you could just touch me and walk away?! Nonsense! Now, I shall devour you human!!" It threw out one of the petals and boy, did it look sharp. Rin closed her eyes and waited for the blow 'HELP!' she screamed in thought. Nothing ever came and she looked up, wait...looked up? 'I can move!!' she thought in relief.

"Run!" A female voice ordered. She didn't need to be told twice. Rin took off into the small forest, uknowingly heading straight to the cliff her mother warned her of.

"Ahh!!" She stopped right at the curve and stared down. She couldn't see a thing, it would have been a dreadful fall. She turned around, intent on walking away, when she saw the woman who killed the demon that attacked her.

"Oh! Whoa. Gave me a scare there. Thank you for saving me." Rin replied with a kind smile. Then she looked in worry as the woman's eyes turned sad.

"Is something wrong? Did that demon hurt you?" Rin asked in concern. The woman took off the mask and stared at Rin with nothing but sorrow.

"Hello, beautiful...I'm so sorry." With that the woman pushed Rin over the cliff. Rin gasped and then realized that she was finally falling but didn't scream. She simply stared wide-eyed at the woman on the curve of the cliff.

'Au--Aunt...Namie...' Darkness took over.

End Flashback

'That's right. I remember now. She was the same one that pushed me off the cliff...Aunt Namie did. But why? I must have not remembered because of the fall. Then the immense pain...why did she betray me?' Rin felt the tears run down her face and gasped. She put her hand to her face and observed the clear, salty substance. It had been a long time since she had seen her tears.

"So was it my fate from the beginning?" Rin asked. She knew Namie was behind her.

"No." Namie replied, going to sit next to Rin. Rin looked at her with a puzzled expression.

"So, then...why?" Namie gave a deep sigh.

"It was dangerous. You couldn't be exposed because of high level. Back then too many wars were raging and it was Kindom against Kingdom. We were all to fight. You would have had to fought also. Then again, it was never meant to be." Namie explained.

"So...so I wasn't meant to be a vampire?" Rin asked appalled. So then what the hell was she doing here?

"No. You were never meant to be...human." Namie's voice was serious as she looked straight at Rin. Rin simply stared at her with a shocked expression.

"H--...wha..." Rin couldn't seem to come out with a coherent sentence.

"It's the same as I did with Kagome." Rin and Namie turned to look at Kaiko. Kaiko looked at Rin, eyes shining with sympathy for the girl. After all, she had a similar problem.

"Ka...gome?...So, that's why she was human? At first?" Rin asked, realization dawned on her. But what was the reason to go to those extremes?

"Because your mother cares about you." Answered David. Rin looked at him, puzzled. She hadn't known she said it aloud.

"You didn't." He answered her again. She looked at him with disbelief and then frowned. Of course, he could read her mind. She had forgotten that small detail. David laughed at her pouted mouth. Then something struck her, "Because your mother cares about you." he had said.

"Who's my...mother?" She asked, somehow already having an idea. Her Aunt was not her Aunt at all...was she?

"Your a smart girl. You have probably already figured it out," Namie gave a sad sigh. "Yes, Rin. I am your real mother." Rin knew it. She knew, yet, she could not stop the feeling of unwanted, betrayal, and despair that ran through her the moment Namie spoke those words. She didn't like feeling this way. It was not like her at all, her personality was something far different, but her nature makes her get these reactions. In some way, that made her feel anger. But for what? For being what she is? For being...Rin? Did she hate herself now? No. However, that tiny portion of disgust she had always managed to contain locked, was starting to very much unravel itself.

"Hn." She grunted. Well...what now?

"Well you certainly took that well. I half expected a screaming marathon." Namie teased lightly.

"It's not that I took it well. What is there for me to say?" Rin answered. It was the truth. She didn't know what to say or what to expect. Surely this changed nothing and everything at the same time. How would it be now? At least now she knew how Kagome felt those first few days. Confused, hurt, and, though ridiculous, enthusiastic.

"Your feelings. The truth perhaps...?" Namie inquired. She really didn't want Rin to hate her but she had to know someday.

"Well if your waiting to hear that I hate you, then keep waiting. But I'm not gonna lie and say I'm extremely happy either," Rin answered in a serious tone. Namie looked at her in deep sorrow. "I suppose the real disgust is against myself."

"Yourself?" Namie asked in concern.

"Well, I don't really know how to explain it. You gave me an explanation on the reason of why I was human, yet, your true feelings tell a different story. You weren't ready to be a parent were you? The very idea of me sent you into a worried frenzy. And so you left me with the humans for your benefit also." Kaiko and David stared at Namie's lowered head in shock. That wasn't the case at all. Namie left Rin in a humans' care for her safety and care...right?

"I'm so sorry. I was confused. Your right, I wasn't ready to be a mother. Neither was your father. I still think I'm way too unprepared. I didn't want to get rid of you, but I didn't, no couldn't, keep you either! Rin, please!! You have to understand me!" By the end of her story, Rin had stood up and was walking away. Namie grabbed her elbow in hopes that the girl would stop and hear her out. Though she knew it was the end, that there was no more, her eyes making streams of tears down her face.

"I understand perfectly well. There's no need to explain anything. I don't hate you. In fact, I forgive you...mom." Rin turned and, though her face was a mirror image of Namie's, she put on her best smile and pulled away slowly, resuming to walk away. Namie fell to her knees. Why? Why did things come out so difficult? Maybe this world was all about being a bitch. Kaiko, seeing Namie tremble with sobs, started to walk towards her; in hopes of comforting the woman. David gripped her arm and when she looked at him in confusion, he simply shook his head slowly; his eyes shining in sympathy. Kaiko stared him in the eyes for a long second and turned to look back at Namie, who seemed to have disappeared. Sighing, she hugged David and they stood embracing each other in despairing silence.

Shippo read the same line of the book that he currently held, for the twenty-fifth time. With a frustrated sigh he tossed the book across the room, where it landed with a thwack on the wood floor. He was sitting on top of his bed worrying like crazy over Rin. It had been three hours since he had seen her and he had yet to hear from her. It was driving him mad. He leaned his head against the wall as his legs were bent up and his arms rested on them. He remembered how he wanted to accompany her but she kindly refused, kissed him softly, and left. Seeing her cry was hard. Seeing her leave while crying was hell. He didn't know if she was okay or if she was still crying or anything!

He smacked his hands on his knees in frustration. Dammit! He couldn't sleep, hell no he couldn't. Pulling on a loose thread of his khaki, baggy shorts he continued to worry. Perhaps everything was okay. He leaned his head against the wall again and closed his eyes. Perhaps he was just over reacting and she was perfectly fine. Agh! he really needed to chill. He felt the wind on his bare chest before he saw her. She was standing by his window barefoot, in shorts and a baggy T-shirt. What made him panic and sit up straight immediately was the tears streaming non-stop down her face.

"Oh, Rin," He said while spreading his arms open, beckoning her to him. She rushed to him and broke down while curling into his chest. He stroked her head and rocked her in his lap while she sobbed endlessly. Soothing words, small kisses to her forehead, and his loving strokes soon had her down to just sniffling, her tears long dried.

"You okay?" He whispered after even her sniffles stopped.

"Yeah. I'm sorry you had to see that. I just didn't know where to go." She mumbled into is chest. He grabbed her chin and raised her head.

"Never hesitate to come to me. My doors...and windows are always open," He chuckled lightly at his joke. And she giggled also. He looked into her eyes lovingly and then dipped down and put his lips against his. It was always meant to start out innocent but as soon as their mouths' connected it all went up in smoke. He deepened the kiss as her head landed on his pillow. Her arms around his neck holding him close to her; he reached down and grabbed her thigh, bringing her leg over his hip and holding it there.

They continued to kiss heatedly, hands roaming placing neither knew were able to be roamed. She broke free from their kiss to breathe and he continued down her neck, kissing and sucking the skin there. She knotted her fingers in his air looking as she brushed them with her fingers. He continued placing kisses on her neck, throat, and jaw. His hand found the edge of her shirt and he went under. Finding her bra he unlatched it and handled her breasts as he heard her gasp in satisfaction. Raising her shirt all the way up, he had it over her head and on the floor in an instant. Continuing his kisses he made his way to her cleavage and kissed her round breasts lightly. Taking an erect nipple into his mouth he heard in approval as she moaned at the pleasure. His hand found her shorts and he began to unbutton them. She helped him slip them down her smooth legs and onto the floor with her shirt. All that was left was her underwear and, after showing the same attention to her other breast, he marveled at the beauty before him. She blushed and turned away from his stare.

He gripped her chin and brought her face back to look at him, his lips hovering an inch above hers.

"You are the most marvelous thing I have ever seen," He whispered lovingly. He crashed his lips on her again and the fire burned far deeper. She reached down to his shorts and unbuttoned them as best she could; soon they joined the floor also. Everything crashed down on him at once in that instant. He knew that he had to take advantage of that moment before his control slipped again. He still Rin's hand -which happened to be roaming his chest.

"Rin...are you sure?" It was probably completely stupid and pointless to ask now. But he didn't want her to regret this, any of this. She placed her small hand on his chin, smiling lovingly at him.

"I have never been more sure of anything in my life," She affirmed. He smiled brightly down at her and in the next few seconds he was at her center. She gasped, her pleasure escalating immensely. This is all she needed. To feel complete in a way nobody but Shippo could make her feel. She wanted to forget. The problems, Namie, her human life, where she was, who she was, all of it! And she knew nobody but him could take that away. In this simple moment. Simple, that's exactly what it was. She hardly needed the "extra" pleasure. Just knowing that he did this with love and vice verse, she was whole.

She hissed between her teeth as he broke through. Tears fell down her face as he whispered sweet nothings into her ear. The pain only lasted for a few seconds, thank god for fast healing; she giggled at that. Shippo looked down at her in confusion and then, figuring her pain was gone, he moved and her giggle was replaced by a tiny moan.

Soon the two young lovers fell into a blissful pattern and the whole they so wanted was fulfilled.

Sango, Miroku, Inuyasha, Kikyo, and Kagome all stared with different expressions. Sango looked almost smug, Kikyo simply raised and eyebrow and pretended she heard nothing, Inuyasha frowned and grunted uncomfortably, Kagome looked away from them; embarrassed. And last but not least...Miroku.

"Well, well, well. Guess it was about time for the freaks to come out of those two," He chuckled with... glee? Sango rolled her eyes at the 'monk'. Suddenly she was being pulled towards him and she blushed.

"Ahh, my dear Sango. I do believe it is now our turn my dearest." He just loved to ruin it didn't he? She smacked him across the face and stomped out the room. All the way mumbling things about 'stupid, horny, idiot, past monk vampires'... Inuyasha, Kagome, and Kikyo simply laughed as Miroku followed after her, begging her to hear him out.

"He never learns does he?" Kagome asked, still giggling.

"Keh. Guess not." Inuyasha shrugged. Suddenly the room fell into an awkward silence. Kagome looked over at Inuyasha and saw the conflicted expression in his eyes as he stared at Kikyo. Her heart twisted but she knew they had something really strong that ended horrible awry. There love must have went beyond anything in this universe and, though it pained her immensely, she knew he still loved Kikyo. Though she acted like she didn't, Kagome knew Kikyo did also. Sighing silently she decided something.

"Um, Inuyasha, I have to go talk to Kaiko. I'll be back later." She forced a smile and she wondered if it was enough to fool him. He looked at her in confusion, as if he had just noticed that was still in the room, but it wore off quickly. Okay, that hurt.

"Oh. Well I'll go with you," He responded. Already walking to the door.

"No!" She stated, a little too loud and Kikyo looked at her in worry.

"What I mean is that, um, that isn't necessary. I got it. Trust me, I won't be long anyway." She put on her fake smile again. Kikyo then looked at her in suspicion. Kagome needed to leave...soon.

"O...kay. Sure, if that's what you want. You positive?" He asked.

"One hundred percent. I'll be back don't worry." With that she walked out the door and when she was down the hall she leaned against the wall there. What exactly was she doing? Did she want Inuyasha to go back to Kikyo? No. But somehow she could not bear to see that hurt expression in his eyes. She wanted to gather him up and take that all away. She knew, however, that she was not the one who could remove that. Kikyo was. That made her sigh deeply. They still held strong feelings for each other. Inuyasha cared for her, she knew that much. However his love for Kikyo was...far more.

This was definitely tough. How could you love someone who's heart was already stolen. Well that wasn't all the way true. She knew that if Kikyo were no longer around, Inuyasha and herself could have something as strong as what they had. Whoa! Where did that come from? Kikyo was her friend, her family. She should not and would not wish her away like that! What was the matter with her? All this hate over some guy? Sure she was in love with Inuyasha but was it worth all this hatred? Her head was completely muffled. With a frustrated sigh she decided she needed to cool off. Where was Sango when you needed her?

(((((()))))))

Inuyasha had watched Kagome leave in confusion. As far as he knew she never said no when he asked to go with her. Huh. Maybe there was something the matter with her, who knew. Kikyo looked at Inuyasha with a questioning expression and he merely shrugged. She sighed knowing that he was clueless. Then it seemed that at the same time they were shocked still. They were in a room...together...alone. How lovely.

Inuyasha was the first to recover and he looked over at Kikyo tentatively. Should he leave? He knew he didn't want to but...that was the right thing to do, right? While he was stuck pondering, Kikyo was not so hesitant. She gave him a small glance and made her way to the door. When she passed Inuyasha she froze.

"Yes, Inuyasha?" Why now? She didn't want this.

"We...I..." he couldn't find what to say. All he knew is that he didn't want her to go. Kikyo hated doing this. Why couldn't he just let things go? She tugged on his hand; an effort for him to let go of her arm, done in vain of course.

"Inuyasha if you don't have anything to say then I'll take my leave," She stated, hoping he would let go -of all of it.

"Kikyo, I...please," He sighed. Why was he so tongue twisted?

"Please what?" She asked desperately. She didn't want to be there with him, all alone. It...it hurt too much. That being confirmed, her body slumped, as if giving up. Inuyasha felt it and he tried to compose himself better.

"I want to talk with you," He whispered. She simply looked at him -too cautious to say anything, in case her voice broke.

"It's killing me Kikyo. And I know it's killing you too." This time she didn't even look at him. How true his words were, he had no knowledge of that of course.

"You should not feel such torment, Inuyasha. You have Kagome at your side." It was true. He could not have both.

"Kagome..." She winced. How he said her name; almost like a caress. "Your right, Kikyo. I do care about and like Kagome very much." Trying to not let it get to her she turned to, what she hopefully was, smile encouragingly at him. When she turned around, however, his face was mere inches from hers. She had to blink once to make sure it wasn't her imagination.

"Our love, though, it isn't something that could be so easily forgotten." He let his hand rest on her cheek and she did not stare him in the eye.

"Our love...is no longer existent." With that she took his hand away from her face, set it to his side, and left the room. He sighed deeply as he felt the edges of the deep wound in his chest throb. He was really pushing his luck. Why couldn't he just be with Kagome? He had said the truth when he informed Kikyo that he truly cared for her. So...what was the problem?

"The problem is that, you, Inuyasha, are foolish." he said nothing at David's response to his thought. Perhaps he was foolish. Foolish for ever thinking he could be happy with somehow having both. Ridiculous.

He turned around to exit when David's voice reached his ears once more.

"Do not hurt them with your impudent confusions. I care for you almost like a son. However if you continue your tirade, Kagome will soon be very well out of your reach. Possibly Kikyo also." Inuyasha simply nodded at his warning and sped off. It was time to definitely decide. He cared immensely for both. The differences were strong though.

With Kikyo he always seemed to feel like it was one-sided. Until, every so often, she would tell him her true feelings and he would just think back to those times when he hesitated. She was always quiet, almost anti-social. She was deeply caring but at times she would be cold. Her soul was pure and corrupted. He always knew what to expect from her, an old practiced routine. Their different personalities were immense.

Kagome was a completely different story. She kept her feelings for him on her sleeve. Her smiles and laughter lighted up even the darkest of days. Her big heart was of no exception to absolutely anyone. She was a complete surprise each and every day. Somehow they had some same aspects of things and often agreed more than argued. She showed him how life could truly be and Kikyo showed him nothing of the sort.

In that instant he already knew what was to come. And so came the time to choose between his two hearts. Kikyo or Kagome. He knew that if Adam would appear anytime soon that it was going to be very difficult. His protection for both was going to intervene, but he knew Kagome would never hate him for saving Kikyo. If she could, she would do just the same. He smiled at that thought. She was so loving it seemed irrational. And so, who would he choose...?

He already knew.

Kikyo knew the time had come. She had been anticipating this day soon for the past couple weeks. It wouldn't take long before Inuyasha would be forced to choose between herself and Kagome. She knew who he would pick. And she was glad that it was what it was. She would not go back to him in any case anyway. It was not meant to be.

So with one last, loving glance toward the mansion she raced away. Away from her past self, away from her beautiful family, away from everything she knew -no, now once knew. And most unconditionally painful, her one and only true love. 'I love you, Inuyasha. I always have and always will.' she thought. It hit her like a sense of déjà vu. The last time she had hurt her own heart and Inuyasha's as well by walking away.

Nobody noticed the tears that ran down a porcelain doll's face, as she left behind everything she held dear to her.

E.Bliss: Okay guys, once again, I am so sorry for the VERY late update. Yup, very sorry indeed.

Alli: O.O

E.Bliss: Alli? What's wrong now woman?

Alli: O.o

E.Bliss: Well at least it's some kind of response.

Alli: (grins) ha ha you perv.

E.Bliss: Wha? Wait...Oh! Oh, come on! That was nothing...

Alli: I guess not...lol...ha ha ha...

E.Bliss: Anyway, please READ & REVIEW :)) and like last time I will try to update as soon as possible. I was caught up in the release of Stephenie Meyer's 'Breaking Dawn' and then I curled up in my cocoon and read for, what seemed to me, very shorty time :( anyway that book was...different. But pretty much cool :)))

Alli: It was...okay. But anyway R&R like always and until next time ppls

Both: BYE! :))