"Ginny!" I shouted as she came into the main hall at breakfast the next day.

I ran up to her depsite the sniggers from the other Slytherins.

"Venus!"

"Ginny, I'm so sorry. It was me, I did it, I-."

"Stop Venus. It's fine, remember I did the same thing, you couldn't control if it happened or not."

"I guess you're right."

"What's happened while I was petrified?"

I opened my mouth to reply but was interrupted.

"While I hate to interrupt this little reunion," drawled Snape where he'd come up behind me, "You," he turned to me, "have food you need to eat unless you want to make more of a fool of yourself today."

I turned bright red. Snape led me back to the Slytherin table.

"Are you intent on making a spectacle of yourself at every opportunity?" He hissed.

"I'm not." I said through gritted teeth.

"Just sit down and stay quiet."

"Yes Sir."

I sat down and grabbed some food. When the post came, there were three howlers headed for the Slytherin table. One landed in front of Flint, another in front of MacDougal and the last in front of Gamp. I guessed their parents had got the letters from Snape.

MacDougal's exploded first,

Bullying, how dare you! I thought we raised you better than this! We told you never to use that profuse language. You make one more move towards that girl and you will be straight home!

It was a shrill, high pitched voice, clearly her mother's.

The next was Gamp's,

How dare you bully another Slytherin! If it was any other house, I might understand but another Slytherin, I don't understand you. Your mother is severely disappointed with you, as am I."

That one was a deeper voice, her dad's.

The final one was Flint's,

You are an absolute disgrace! Bullying, physically hurting another girl, one much smaller than yourself. You are lucky I'm not at that school this instant, bringing you home. I expect you to formally apologise to the girl. I am now in direct correspondence with Professor Snape who will update me if you even slightly seem to be doing the same thing again.

The letters turned to ash and the three girls sat in subdued silence. I kept my eyes trained on my plate. All of the first years could trace that back to me as could the Slytherins. Most of the other houses and years also knew of the issue as well.

"Venus Potter." I heard Flint's cold voice.

"Yes Flint." I said coolly.

"There is something I wish to talk with you outside if you will come."

I felt dread in my gut. I doubted this was going to be the apology that her mother had wanted but to save making a scene I followed her into the entrance hall.

"What were you thinking, doing that?" She hissed at me.

"It wasn't my choice." I said stiffly.

"Whatever, you told and I don't respect that."

"How unfortunate."

She grabbed her wand, "Cruc-."

"Expelliarmus." I shot at her and her wand went flying.

She growled at me, pushing me to the floor. She was on top of me, hitting and punching my stomach and legs, places she knew nobody would see. At the sound of people approaching she pulled me up.

"You tell anyone and things are just going to keep getting worse." She hissed in my ear.

"Why are you doing this to me?"

"You don't belong here. You shouldn't be here. If you're going to stay, then I'm going to remind just how little people care for you."

She straightened up, "-and that is why I totally understand if you can't forgive me, I know I have done lots of wrong to you but I'm truly sorry."

It was Malfoy and Daphne Greengrass who came round the corner.

"You're not as quiet as you think Flint. I will delight in telling Professor Snape all about what you've said to Potter." Said Malfoy.

"You can't prove anything."

"I don't think Professor Snape will need proof, you see he trusts Potter here a lot more than he'll ever trust you." Drawled Malfoy.

"I'd go pack your bags." Added Greengrass.

Flint ran off.

"Potter are you okay?"

"I'm fine Malfoy."

"She attacked you didn't she?" Said Greengrass.

"Not too badly, I stopped her using the cruciatus."

"She tried to-."

"Sh Malfoy. Yes she tried to use the cruciatus but I disarmed her, then she attacked me physically but I'm fine."

"She'll be expelled." Said Greengrass.

"I know. I didn't want her to be but she isn't stopping, she's worse."

"Are you going to tell Snape then?" Asked Malfoy.

"I think I've got to but I'll wait for him to come out, he's got annoyed at me for making scenes."

"When you slapped your brother?" Smirked Greengrass.

"Well yeah."

"That was awesome." Laughed Malfoy.

"Of course you'd think that."

The entrance hall started to fill and we moved to the side, waiting for Snape. Eventually he came out, upon seeing me, he came over to us.

"What happened Potter?" He demanded.

I glanced back at Greengrass and Malfoy who both nodded encouragingly.

I took a deep breath, "She tried to use the cruciatus on me but I managed to disarm her. Then she attacked me physically."

"Are you okay Potter?"

"I've had worse Sir."

"That doesn't answer my question Potter, are you okay?"

"Yes Sir, I'm fine."

"I'm not convinced. Go down to the hospital wing."

"But Sir-." I complained.

"Not up for negotiation. Greengrass take her please because I don't believe she'll actually go."

I glared at him but he ignored me.

"Malfoy, you heard what happened?"

"Yes Sir."

"Then you will accompany me to take up the matter with the headmaster. I will get messages to all your teachers of where you are."

"Come on Potter." Greengrass told me.

I rolled my eyes but followed her to the hospital wing.

"I'm sorry for anything I joined in with the Slytherins. I didn't realise it had got so bad." She said apologetically.

"It's fine." I said shifting uncomfortably.

"No it's not. What they were doing wasn't right."

I sighed, "Look I don't do very good at the whole people feeling in debt to me thing. Just say you won't do it again and we can be done with it."

"Okay, I'm not going to do it again. You really should be in Hufflepuff."

"No." I laughed, "Because that just means I don't hate you anymore and you're not in debt. It doesn't make me like you or trust you. I don't trust many people."

"Oh well, we're here." She looked slightly relieved, "So I guess I check you actually go in and then I go."

I opened the door into the hospital wing and stepped inside. I turned,

"Happy now?"

She rolled her eyes and walked off. I turned back into the hospital wing.

"Miss Potter back again?" Said Madam Pomfrey bustling over, "What's wrong now?"

"Professor Snape sent me because he wasn't convinced I was okay after Flint beat me up."

"Oh well, I'll just do a quick examination."

I felt very exposed as she looked over my back and stomach.

"That's not all today." I told her, "I went to my relatives house yesterday."

I didn't want her to think Flint had hurt me that much when most of it had been Uncle Vernon yesterday.

I saw a slight bit of pity in her eyes as she looked over the scarring and the bruises.

"Do not pity me." I snarled.

"I wasn't." She said mildly.

"You think I haven't realised what that look means by now."

"I was merely wondering how a girl as nice as yourself acquired so many scars."

"Because the boy who lived shall not be harmed." I said harshly. "Now am I okay to leave or not?"

"You have no serious injuries but will you allow me to heal the bruising."

"Only on my face."

"That's a strange request."

"Snape won't be happy if I don't let you heal me so you may as well heal the parts he'll see."

"Why not your whole body?"

"Because pain is there for a reason and it's unnatural for it to just be taken away."

"You have become accustomed to being in pain so much that no pain is more unnatural?"

"Perhaps."

"I see."

She waved her wand and I felt the pain fade from my face, I hadn't even realised it was there till it was gone.

"You may return to your lesson."

"Thank you Madam Pomfrey."

I left the hospital wing and made my way to transfiguration. I slipped into the classroom and sat at the back, trying not to bring any attention to myself. I noticed Flint wasn't there and wondered if she was expelled yet.

0o0o0

Snape and Malfoy were sat in Dumbledore's office as Dumbledore weighed the decision.

"She was going to use an unforgivable?" He queried.

"Yes Sir." Replied Malfoy.

"And she physically hurt Miss Potter, then threatened her?"

"Yes Sir."

"I agree with you then that the girl should be expelled."

"Malfoy you may return to your lesson, thank you for your help." Said Snape.

Malfoy left the office shutting the door behind him.

"How was Miss Potter?" Asked Dumbledore.

"She seemed okay but I made her go to the hospital wing."

"I will deal with Miss Flint and I suggest you go and check that Madam Pomfrey didn't find anything seriously wrong with Miss Potter."

"Yes Headmaster."

Snape left the office and went down to the hospital wing.

As soon as he entered Madam Pomfrey was over to him,

"Miss Potter suffered nothing than a few bruises, she has returned to lessons."

"Good."

"She hasn't had a good upbringing has she?"

"What makes you say that?"

"The first time I met her, I healed two broken bones, her body is laced with scars and she said something very strange to me today. I asked her if she wanted me to heal her bruises. She said that she only wanted her face healed because you wouldn't be happy if you thought she'd declined treatment. She wouldn't let me heal her body, where nobody sees the marks anyway. She told me that it was unnatural for her not to feel pain, that pain reminded her she was alive."

Snape tensed a little.

"She has been subjected to so much pain that she has become dependent on it." Summarised Snape.

"It is a sad thought for one so young to be in that state."

"I knew she'd been abused but I didn't realise the toll it would have taken on her mental state. The more I think about it though, the more I realise how much it has. She struggles to trust people, as far as I know, I am the only adult who she puts any trust into along with two friends and her brother. She tries to stay unnoticed as much as possible unless she's feeling a surge of emotion and then there's this dependency on pain. Is there anything I can do that you can think to reverse any of these psychological effects?"

Madam Pomfrey paused for a minute, "You have to make sure you don't break her trust or she may never again. You have to be patient with her, allow her to emerge over time. You need to talk to her about the pain reliance. That's the only one that's going to be deprimental to her physical health at the moment. Don't try to pressure her into anything though."

"Thank you Madam Pomfrey, you've been a great help."

"My pleasure."

He left the hospital wing. It was almost the end of first lesson, he needed to talk to Venus as quickly as possible so he'd wait by the library where she was sure to go at break.

0o0o0

At the end of the lessson, I retreated to the library only to find Snape waiting there.

"You're too predictable Riddle." He smirked. "I need to talk to you in my office, is that okay with you?"

"Yes Sir." I followed at his heels as we headed to his office in the dungeons.

"Sit down Riddle."

I sat opposite him on the other side of the desk.

"Riddle, can I ask you a question?"

"Yes Sir."

"When was the last time you felt no pain at all? No after affects of a curse, no bruises from beatings or anything else, no broken bones, you get the idea."

I bit my lip, thinking hard. I always seemed to have at least one ailment, whether it was a bruise from where I'd been hit or a flyaway curse wound. At the Dursley's I had never been pain free, they were always hurting me.

"I-I don't remember Sir." I said quietly.

His expression was pained.

"Why didn't you let Madam Pomfrey heal your whole body?"

"She told you about that, I hadn't wanted you to know. I knew you wouldn't be happy. I'm sorry Sir, are you angry?"

"No Riddle, I'm not angry. I am worried about you."

"I'm sor-."

He held up his hand to silence me.

"Please let me finish Riddle," he said calmly, "You have developed a dependence on pain. It's not your fault but it's not healthy."

"I know Sir but I n-need it."

"Why Riddle?"

"To remind me to be good." I blurted out.

"Expand please."

"Pain is punishment. I need the pain to remind me what happens if I'm bad. It started as just with the Dursley's rules but now I fear that if I don't hurt anymore I'll lose sense of whether I'm doing good or bad."

"Pain isn't punishment Riddle."

"It is to me Sir."

"Riddle," He asked slowly, "Have you ever hurt yourself purposely?"

I bit my lip. I had. When I found myself getting like my father I would make sure to leave a mark on my skin as a reminder to not do it again.

I nodded slowly, "Yes Sir."

I burned red with embarrassment of admitting all this to him. I felt myself start shaking lightly.

"Riddle look at me."

I shook my head, closing my eyes tightly.

"This is nothing to be ashamed of, nothing at all. Do you understand me?"

I shook my head again, keeping my eyes pressed shut.

"No matter what you might think about yourself, or what the Dursley's have told you, you don't deserve pain. You have never deserved pain and you never will."

"But I do, I deserve to hurt."

I felt my hands reaching for something to hurt myself with now. Snape was watching them. He came round his desk and bent down next to my chair. He took my hands between his.

"Riddle, nobody deserves to be in pain, especially not you."

"But I do." I sobbed, "I need to hurt."

I was shaking more profusely now and tears had started to roll down my face.

"I'm sorry Sir, I'm making a fool of myself."

"No you're not Riddle, it's fine."

"I'm sorry that I'm such a burden for you Sir, I-I'm-."

"You are not a burden, not to me, not to anyone."

He looked to the lily still pinned to my robes.

"Your mother was very brave and you are too. Do you want to hear more about her?"

I nodded.

"She was a wonderful woman, she looked just like you. Her eyes were the same colour as yours and Harry's. Her hair was the same as your's. She was always kind, she had a way with words but she was also one of the bravest people I ever met. She opposed the Dark Lord many times in order to protect people she cared about. She was one of the cleverest people I ever met. You have her skill in potions. She always had the best way to ensure her potions turned out perfectly."

I had stopped shaking as badly now and no fresh tears were on my face.

"Now if you're okay for the moment, I need to go teach a class of dunderheads-."

"Don't you have my brother now?"

"Exactly, a class of dunderheads. Anyway, I'm not expecting you to go to your class. You can stay here or go up to your dorm whichever you would rather."

"I think I'd prefer to stay here Sir."

"That's fine, I'll be next door if you need anything."

"Thank you Sir."

He turned towards the door but paused a moment,

"Your mother would be so proud of you Riddle."

"I think you're mistaken Sir."

"No, I don't think I am Riddle."

With that he turned and left. I heard him bark at the class to get inside. I pulled my knees up on to the chair, hugging them tightly. I couldn't believe I'd just told him all of that. I wasn't even sure if he'd still want to adopt me after that but then he'd told me my mother would be proud of me. I wasn't sure why he thought this. I was a disappointment, not anything to be proud of. I was so weak. I felt my hands itching wanting to create something to remind me of my weakness. Something stopped me though, if Snape found out he wouldn't be angry, he'd be disappointed and that was worse to me than him being angry.

I grabbed a book out of my bag to distract myself. It was a potions one obviously.

0o0o0

"Potter." Snape drawled as he walked past Harry's cauldron, "I need to speak to you after class."

"But I haven't-."

"Concerning your sister." Interrupted Snape.

"What's hap-."

"I'll tell you after class."

Harry turned back to his cauldron, was this concerning the money in her vault but Snape had seemed more serious than that. Hermione had to keep hissing him instructions so he wouldn't make a mistake as he was so distracted. The end of the lesson couldn't come quick enough. As the rest of the class left Harry wandered over to Snape's desk.

"So?"

"Potter, I am very concerned about your sister."

"In what way?" Harry asked sceptically.

"She has developed a certain dependence on pain."

"A dependence on pain?"

"She doesn't remember the last time she felt no pain at all. She's just had a breakdown in my office about how much she deserves pain and needs it."

"But she doesn't deserve pain."

"I know she doesn't. Potter have there been any instances where you have noticed she has cuts or bruises but there hasn't been a cause."

"I don't think so."

"That means she's hiding it."

"Hiding what?"

"Not only does she not want her injuries to be healed, she's intentionally inflicting harm upon herself."

"But why?"

"She says it reminds her to be good, that if she doesn't she'll forget why she needs to be good. She's afraid of slipping into the darkness and going bad."

"But it's Venus, she'll never be bad."

"I agree with you Potter in this one instance however your sister doesn't appear to realise this."

"She's being stupid then."

"Do not insult your sister Potter. She is dealing with more than you could ever wrap your head around, at the moment." Growled Snape.

"But she just overreacts to everything. She got hurt a bit when she lived at the Dursley's and now she has some dependence on pain? No, this is just another one of her stunts for attention."

"You're as arrogant as your father Potter."

"Do not insult my father!"

"Do not insult my daughter!"

They both paused for a minute.

"You see her as your child?" Asked Harry eventually.

"I see her as a child who has been placed in my protection who has nobody else to care for her. Now as you have shown no sympathy towards your sister's situation, leave my office now and don't tell anybody at all about this."

Harry turned and left, having nothing left to say.

0o0o0

I could hear Harry and Snape talking through the walls. I felt a lump in my throat as Harry said that I was overreacting. I turned back to my book and did my best to ignore them. I heard footsteps down the hall and the door opened.

"Have you been okay Riddle?" Snape asked as he came in.

He sat across the desk from me again.

"I heard what you and Harry were saying Sir." I said quietly.

"Oh."

"Harry's right isn't he? I'm just being melodramatic."

"No Riddle, your brother is an ignorant fool."

"And I'm an overreacting, attention seeker."

I felt myself starting to shake again. I hated it, why was I like this? I had to make everything into a big deal, act like the world centred around me, like my problems were the worst thing in the world. Snape's hands were on my shoulders steadying them.

"Riddle, listen to me. You didn't ask for this, you didn't even bring it to my attention. You've suffered and that's not your fault."

"But lots of people suffer, why should I act like this?"

"You have been neglected and abused by your relatives. The Dark Lord is your father and you have very little people who care about you. I think you have earned the right to not be okay."

"You want me to stop relying on the pain, don't you Sir?"

He paused for a moment, "Eventually, yes I do Riddle. We will work on it together. There's no pressure for you to do or not do anything right now. Do you understand?"

I nodded.

"It's not going to be easy Riddle but I am going to help you get past this and eventually you won't have to hurt anymore."

"Thank you Sir." I said quietly.