Note - Because of a future chapter, I've had to rewrite a section of this chapter.
Scott & Bailey.
Fa-arsed bitc.
Home Again.
Emma smiled as she walked through the door of the flat she'd grown up in, carrying her suitcase through the door. She was grateful her pregnancy meant she didn't have to wince and waddle through the doorway.
Turning her head around to look back, Emma saw her mother carrying the rest of her things through the door. Without a word Rachel led her daughter through to her old bedroom, Emma smiled at the old starscape painted on the ceiling. Her trained eyes picked the cleanliness of the room, there wasn't a layer of dust anywhere and the bed showed signs of being changed recently. Like her mother, Emma favored double rather than single beds, a trait which had emerged when she'd hit her teens. She'd lost her virginity in said bed. Oh, those days took her back.
Emma shook her head out of her reverie; she had to think of her future rather than her past. Rachel dropped the remainder of her daughter's things on the floor, and silently Emma followed her mother out of the bedroom and into the living room. Though some of the furniture had changed, the decor hadn't. Emma didn't care. It was good to be home. She bit back the smile on her face at the sight of her old artwork, stuff she'd done as a kid, still proudly displayed by her mother, pictures of her growing up, old awards, certificates mounted and framed...all of it was there. One caught her eye; an award in the shape of a magnifying glass.
Emma smiled nostalgically at the sight of it. When she'd been 11 years old, Emma had still struggled to work out what she had wanted to be. Then a kid at the school was framed for an attempted setting a science lab on fire. Everyone had jumped on it, until Emma, using crude fingerprinting equipment and expertise gleaned from years of exposure to her police aunts and mother, and her aunt Mary, proved it was not him. It was someone else, and that family had to pay for the damage. (1)
Emma closed her eyes as she remembered everything; this room, this flat, these photos and momentos...it was like a shrine, guilt burnt through Emma's mind; she hadn't been here with her mother in almost four years, and in that period she'd been betrayed violently by one of her own detectives, and she'd left the police because she'd had enough. And where the hell had she been? In London, following her own career and ignoring her mother as she was suffering.
Rachel went into the kitchen to start dinner. It was strange, cooking for two once more, but Rachel had been looking forwards to the day when Emma would walk back into her life. She was still upset and annoyed her daughter had been foolish for misinterpreting her own words without bothering to think about what she'd heard. Then again Rachel was guilty of doing the same thing when she'd been younger, it was only the combination of her getting older, accepting more responsibilities as she'd moved up the careers ladder, and started leading teams in Murder and MIT her past immaturity had been relegated into the past where it belonged.
Emma stood hesitantly nearby, "Do you want me to help?"
Rachel shook her head but didn't turn around, "No."
"Mum?"
"I don't want you to help," Rachel snapped, "now sit down."
Emma gasped. Realising what she'd done and terrified she might push her daughter away once again, Rachel was quick to apologise, "I'm sorry Emma, I didn't mean-"
"It's okay, I understand. I haven't been here for a long time, and you're still angry with me."
Rachel closed her eyes. Emma was right, she was still angry, except not just with her. No, she was angry because her career had faded when Pearson had said she'd only shot that girl because she was a substitute for Emma. She knew she would have to tell Emma the whole grisly tale, but since her daughter was pregnant Rachel was frightened the story might be too stressful to bear.
Women in their family had always had problems with pregnancy; Sharon, Alison and Rachel's own mother and Emma's grandmother had had trouble giving birth to three children. Alison's pregnancies had been like an ice skater skating over an iced over river that was wafer thin. Rachel herself remembered the number of times she herself had been terrified of losing Emma when she'd been pregnant, and though Emma was a young, fit, strong woman, she probably had the same hereditary issues Rachel had, and the last thing she wanted to learn from Emma was how often she'd been terrified of the safety of her unborn baby.
"It's more than that," Rachel muttered, then she sighed, "I'll tell you the story after dinner."
Emma blinked, wondering what story her mother had to tell her. She looked closely at Rachel, and she didn't like what she saw. Her mother looked like the story she was about to say was the most horrible thing she'd ever heard. Reflexively she planted her hands on her growing baby.
Once she'd calmed down sufficiently, Rachel let Emma help with the cooking. Ever since childhood Rachel had encouraged Emma to help her to do the housework, laundry, cooking, washing up, all to prepare her for later life. It had the side-effect of her looking forwards to the nights she could spend time with Emma, but when she'd moved to London to chase her career in the Murder Squad, Rachel had been more than lonely. She'd been so lonely in fact she'd barely managed to look after herself, she'd dreaded cooking for herself when she returned home from work, so she'd gone back to the old days where she'd gotten by on Weetabix.
Having her back in her life, in her flat again, made Rachel feel younger and happier again. Emma worked on the vegetables in silence. Rachel made her cut some more vegetables, "Don't forget you're eating for two now."
Emma nodded, happy her mother was considering her unborn child. She'd been afraid during the transfer, and the move back to Manchester, back to her home, she would find her mother wouldn't let her step foot through the front door when she'd glimpsed the baby bump. She remembered the terror she'd felt when she'd made preparations to come back home to help her mother, only to find out she was pregnant. Like her mother, Emma had always wanted to start her own family, and now, in a way, she would. It had been hard arranging for a new doctor for her to keep an eye on the baby; she had felt a few twinges in London before she'd left, and she was sure the Bailey family curse would strike.
When the pair of them were sitting down to dinner, Rachel watched as her daughter tucked into her food. Ordinarily Emma would eat slowly, like Rachel did, but the pregnancy made her eat more quickly.
"So, you gonna tell me who knocked you up?" Rachel asked. She wanted to know more about the bastard who'd knocked her daughter up, though she already knew the details. Well, the basics of them anyway. Part of her wanted to get the name and then hunt the bastard down herself. Like Gill Murray, Rachel knew how to murder someone and get away with it.
"I told you he was a friend," Emma managed to get out between bites, "we went to a party, got a bit drunk-" she paused when Rachel made a noise that sounded like an audible eye roll, but she ignored it, "and you know how it goes. Anyway, we made it out like it was a spur of the moment thing, but we started seeing each other. When he found out I was pregnant, he led me on, saying he would be there with me, for the baby. All the time he was going out with me, he was transferring to bloody Bristol." A clenched fist was the telltale sign of her feelings.
Rachel closed her eyes. One of the many things she had wanted for her daughter growing up was to never go through the pain Nick Savage had put her through. Nick...Rachel wondered what had happened to him. Last she'd heard, Nick had left Manchester a long time ago, but as long as he stayed away from her and Emma, Rachel would be happy. It really pissed her off that someone as cruel as Nick was Emma's father.
Emma seemed to know precisely what her mother was thinking, "I know, the last thing you wanted was for me to go through what you did."
"Yeah," Rachel said succinctly before she changed the subject, though it pissed her off a little about how Emma had phrased that little statement, "Boy or girl?"
"Girl, thank Christ."
Rachel smirked, "That's exactly what I thought when I found out from my ultrascan."
Emma smiled back, then her smile froze and her face became melancholic. "Mum, that story you were going to tell me, what is it?"
Rachel's smile disappeared. "How much did your Auntie Gill tell you when she phoned you from UCOS?"
"You knew about that?" The question was out of Emma's mouth before she could engage her brain. The withering look on Rachel's face was more than enough for Emma to realise even for her that was a stupid question. "I have known Gill Murray since before you were born. That woman along with Julie Dodson taught me everything I know, and more. But I learnt more about them in turn. I gained a feel of them, learnt how they thought. You do with SIOs, and you must've learnt about the bosses you've worked under. I was in the UCOS office when Gill said she was going to do extra work, and I caught something. When she was my SIO, Gill stayed on in the office to do extra work, but when she moved to UCOS and the responsibility of command was no longer hers, she left with the others. Red flag to those who're looking. I knew what she was going to do."
A thought occurred to Emma. "How come none of them tried to get in touch with me?"
"I told them not to get involved and I had a helluva fight to make sure they paid attention, but when I joined UCOS Gill and I spoke together, like old times, and she must've decided enough was enough. What did she tell you?"
Emma shrugged, "Not much. I know Pearson accused you of negligence, but you kept her on in your syndicate-"
"Not one of my fondest decisions, go on."
Emma shrugged again, "Well, she then shot a girl and took a hostage. What is it? What's wrong?" she asked terrified when her mother suddenly looked away, looking both sad and older than she actually was.
Rachel rubbed her eyes. "If you want me to stop, tell me. I don't want to cause any problems for the baby."
Emma nodded, unwilling to trust herself to speak. With a sigh, Rachel said, "You already know the story about how an arrest went wrong. Pearson accused me of negligence when my last DS was injured. I was let off though I felt like I'd been flogged in public, and I had the option of getting rid of Pearson since her accusations were unfounded since I had plenty of evidence from the Risk Assessment, and the notes me and my DS had made. Both of them helped put out the fire, and let me keep my job, but it did nothing for my self respect. We did that together. If there was one thing I learnt during your Aunt Gill's last case as SIO, it was to make sure the Risk Assessments were done properly, but in the case of Pearson it was practically the only thing that gave me the edge I needed to get off the charges she put on me. I kept her on to keep an eye on her afterwards. Then Pearson vanished. We spent 3 weeks looking for her, but we couldn't find her.
"When she took that woman hostage and shot a kid after coming back after those 3 weeks, I forced my way to listen in on the interview. All I'd wanted was to find out why, why Pearson had shot an innocent girl, why she'd betrayed her rank, her job, the way she had. Even though she didn't see me, the bitch knew I was there watching her. She taunted me, telling the DC's interviewing her about the pictures I usually have of you on my desk, and she said since you were grown up and not in Manchester anymore, someone else would have to do. Pearson told the interviewers that she'd spent a fortnight looking for a girl who resembled you, and stalked her often enough to know her patterns."
Emma sat back in her chair, horrified at the knowledge that someone would've wanted to shoot her, just to get to her mother. She remembered from long distant memories the pictures her mother proudly displayed on her desk, they served as a reminder to Rachel of the good she could and had accomplished, but there were other reasons. By having pictures, Rachel would always have some of Emma with her at all times, giving the strength she needed to work through cases. Emma noticed the present rather than past tense; her mother still continued the tradition she'd followed since she'd been a baby, but Emma guessed rightly the pictures were to remind her mother of good times.
Pearson though... No wonder her mother had been reluctant to tell her this, and only told her if the stress didn't harm her baby. But above all she couldn't help but think it wasn't any wonder her mother had decided to retire.
"Now you know," Rachel said, "about why I left." She suddenly slumped in her chair, exhausted from her story.
Emma got out of her chair, and moved to her mother. Rachel's head found itself pressed against the baby bump. "I'm sorry, mummy," Emma sobbed.
Rachel placed a hand gently ontop of Emma's pregnant stomach, and rubbed it gently to sooth her distraught daughter's feelings. "Hey, its okay. I'm just happy your back."
Emma sobbed harder. This was all her fault, if she hadn't buggered off to bloody London, then maybe her mother wouldn't be in this position. Then she realised if she had been shot, maybe killed, her mother would never have recovered or forgiven herself for it.
Rachel Bailey shivered in the observation room as she watched the scene with Pearson, dressed in a grey jumper and trousers, being questioned by the DC's, one of them was Natalie. Like always whenever she remembered or pictured or saw Linda Pearson in one of these nightmares Rachel wondered why such a seemingly promising and ambitious young copper would turn her back on her job, betray her rank, and kidnap and injure two people.
Had she done something wrong when she'd first met Pearson? Had something happened with Pearson that had made her decide not to keep moving along the enviable career path she'd cut out for herself? Why had she not bothered to take into account everything Rachel and her DS did with each new case? All those questions whizzed through Rachel's mind, and every time she could not even come up with a theoretical answer for them all. Just looking at Pearson's face, made up from hundreds of pixels on the screen, had those questions swarm through her mind.
"Linda, how did you get the gun? It's serial number was filed off." Natalie was asking in a professional voice; Rachel had to hand it to Natalie for her professionalism. It was like having Julie Dodson nearby, well in a way it was since Natalie was Julie's daughter. No, she was more happy with the younger woman's steady voice, though Rachel could tell Natalie was not in a good mood, and she could guess why. Natalie had known and loved Rachel all of her life, it was because of Julie's envy for her, Janet and Gill being mums that she even existed, and Rachel had taught the girl things that had shaped her personality to this day.
It must be killing her to try to act in some way professional to the woman who'd betrayed one of her aunts.
Linda sat as still as a statue. "I got it from a dealer," she said quietly, making Rachel frown. She was trying to place the emotion behind her tone, but she didn't have much luck. "I'd dealt with them when I was in uniform, and getting the gun wasn't difficult."
Pearson's neck twisted until her eyes met the camera, and she smirked, "Is Rachel Bailey here?"
Natalie didn't answer that, "Look at me Linda," she ordered, "this has nothing to do with DCI Bailey. We're talking about how you kidnapped a woman, held her prisoner, and shot a child who was passing by."
Pearson laughed suddenly, the sound making Rachel clench her fists in anger. How dare she laugh at harming a child, scaring her for life? But why was she laughing in the first place?
Pearson's eyes turned back to the camera. "She's here, isn't she? Okay, I'll say why I shot that kid when I had a hostage. Did you know Rachel Bailey, a failure as a copper, has a daughter? She has pictures of her on her desk."
Rachel's breath hitched in her throat. No, she thought in denial. No, this could not be happening. She felt as though the room was spinning around, but she managed to hold herself steady.
"I stalked that girl," Linda said quietly, though her tone of malice was there, "I followed her, her parents, learnt where she lived. She looks so much like her," she jerked her thumb at the camera, "daughter. It's just a shame the real thing wasn't here, not a kid anymore, otherwise there'd be one less Bailey in the world."
Natalie was quiet for a while, but Rachel had no idea how she was taking this, she was too wrapped up in her own self loathing which had suddenly risen its ugly head, but when Natalie spoke again to ask a question Rachel was snapped out of her thoughts. "If you stalked a child who looked like DCI Bailey's daughter as a child," Natalie said without a hitch in her voice, though how she managed it Rachel had no idea since both girls had been as thick as thieves as children, "why did you kidnap someone completely different?"
Pearson shrugged nonchalantly, "I couldn't take the kid from school. I wanted to be noticed when the kid appeared, she was my true target."
"You intended to shoot the girl no matter what," Natalie said.
"Yes."
Rachel believed she was the only person in the room to hear the quiet intake of breath in Natalie's voice, but if anybody had heard it she didn't know and frankly didn't care. She wished she was in the interview room with Natalie, questioning Pearson though she doubted the evil bitch would've responded to any of her questions without taunting her.
"Like I said, its a shame Emma Bailey isn't here, isn't it Rachel?"
Rachel swung round in surprise, a cry leaving her mouth. The room was empty except for her and Pearson, but Pearson was also in the interview room. Natalie was no longer there.
"It's a pity your beloved daughter didn't get shot, isn't it?" Pearson, both Pearson's said at the same time. Rachel backed up against the wall, terrified by what was happening. She knew this was a dream, she wanted to wake up, but she couldn't. She tried with all her might to wake up, but she couldn't.
Suddenly she was in the open, kneeling down next to the little girl Pearson had shot. "Hey," she found herself cooing, "it's okay, I'll get you to hospital, and you'll be-"
The girl looked up at her, and Rachel stood up and backed away in horror. The little girl... her face, it had turned into HER own face, but it was much younger. Rachel swallowed with fear, now trying to wake up harder than before, this was worse than looking into the girl's face as selfish as that sounded. She was looking into Emma's face.
"You said you'd protect me," the apparition said, and Rachel gasped in horror. The face may've been Emma's, but her voice...it sounded like her daughter when she was three years old, the same age as the girl. "You lied to me...Mummy."
Rachel screamed.
Emma barely sidestepped her mother when her head suddenly rocketed upwards, a piercing scream of terror escaping her mouth, but she didn't say a word of protest. "Mum!" she cried in horror at how her mother had been shouting, screaming, panting in panic in her sleep.
Rachel was sweating in terror, and the beads of sweat mingled with her tears. She gasped as her eyes adjusted to the gloom of her bedroom, and when she picked out the other person in the room with her. "Emma?" she whispered, and the younger woman bit her lip as she felt her heart breaking at the sight of her mother's tears.
"Yeah, its me," Emma smiled, her arms outstretched to pull Rachel into her embrace to reassure her. It was understandable that she was surprised and a little worried when Rachel pulled away from her, and hugged herself, fresh tears pouring down her cheeks. "Mum?"
Rachel clutched herself tightly before her logic returned to her, it was stupid to fight her daughter despite seeing Emma in that fucking nightmare. She sighed, and crawled to her daughter and clung to her tightly.
Emma squeezed her back gently, she was curious about what the nightmare had been about, but she could guess it had something to do with Pearson and that mess with the kid. Emma had tried not to think about it, had tried to focus on her unborn baby, and think about her life in the police. But she'd laid awake in bed, thinking about how her mother had to go through the hell of seeing a girl who'd resembled her at the age of 3 being shot.
Toying with the decision of asking her mother about the nightmare - Emma didn't want her mother to dwell on the memory, but speaking about it might actually help her.
"Mum, do you want to talk about the nightmare?" she asked tentatively. She wasn't expecting her mother to be open with her, so she was pleasantly surprised when her mother pulled away. She wouldn't be so pleased when her mother was finished.
"I was back in the interview room," Rachel began tearfully, "watching Pearson being questioned. The same thing happened, she admitted to stalking that little girl, but then it all changed. Suddenly Pearson was right behind me, and I was alone in the observation room. Then I was kneeling by the girl, reassuring her like I'd done before, but when she looked up at me...It wasn't the girl, but you as you are now."
Emma's eyes widened in horror. She felt even worse when her mother sighed and said, "When...when she spoke, she sounded like you did as a child. I knew it wasn't you, she said I'd lied about protecting her."
"Mum..." Emma didn't know what to say, she was so taken aback by the horrors her mother's mind had conjured up to torture itself. She hated the hold Pearson had on her mother, even in her mother's mind. Rachel's face crumpled as she sobbed her heart out, and Emma pulled her mother to her chest. "Mum, shh, its okay. I'm here, that wasn't me. You did a fantastic job raising and protecting me as a kid. That girl is okay, she's fine. Pearson's in prison where she belongs."
Rachel pulled her head upwards, bringing her eyes to close contact with Emma's. She hated this, hated the way Pearson had robbed her of so much - her potential future career, her self respect, her confidence, but she hadn't robbed her of her daughter, even if the little girl had been symbolic.
"I know, sweetheart. It's just...just when she told me the story originally, I'd pictured you as a kid being shot instead. It's been my worst nightmare since."
"And with me back, it's just gotten worse," Emma nodded, psychology wasn't her strong suit but she understood enough about the basics.
"Yeah," Rachel whispered, shedding any kind of pride. Her beloved daughter's presence was more important to her right then. "Emma...please don't leave me tonight. Don't leave me by myself, please."
Emma felt as though the roles had been reversed; it was supposed to be the mother who reassured the kid, not the other way around, but if she were honest with herself she was more than happy to help her mother.
"Of course I will," she said back.
Rachel pulled away with a shaky and uncertain smile, and silently and awkwardly Emma got into bed with her mother for the first time in years. As she clung to her daughter, Rachel found comfort in the feeling of the unborn baby.
Her granddaughter.
As the weeks passed by, Emma had settled back with her mother, though there was still a bit of tension between them. It would've been naive for someone to simply expect Emma to be instantly forgiven, but for the baby's sake there weren't any arguments. Emma, knowing how her aunt's and mother's minds worked, had not expected to be instantly forgiven. Rachel was close to forgiving her daughter for leaving the way she had, but she was more grateful for Emma's very presence. Thanks to the presence of her daughter and soon to be born granddaughter, Rachel was recovering much of her self confidence.
After retiring from active police service, Rachel had needed a year to piece together what little self respect and self worth she had left before she was invited into UCOS by Gill, and though she'd been back in her comfort zone, investigating cases, interviewing potential suspects, Rachel had felt disconnected from her confidence. Part of that was due to the terrible nightmares of the little girl with Emma's adult face and child voice telling her she'd failed as a protective parent, but now Emma was back, Rachel felt herself returning to the person she'd been, the professional, hard as nails police officer she had been before her daughter had left her.
Rachel had missed that confidence, now it was returning like a long lost lover, waiting to swoop in to rescue her.
Whilst Rachel was moving towards forgiving her daughter - hardly unusual since Rachel had argued with her, an argument her daughter had misunderstood - the others weren't as forgiving.
Alison, whilst happy her only niece had returned, was still unhappy with the way she'd left Rachel without bothering to keep in touch with her, but what upset her the most was how Emma had acted so much like her mother. Alison could remember the times Rachel had gone off in a temper tantrum, and in a way she felt it was poetic justice she was punished in the same way, but what Emma had done took it too far. For the sake the unborn baby, Alison kept her temper at bay whenever she saw Emma though the young mother to be could see the struggle Alison went through not to blow her top. Like her sister, Alison knew only too well how fragile and difficult pregnancies in their family were, and she didn't want to be responsible for any stress heaped on Emma.
Like Alison, Janet felt it was too much like Rachel in the way Emma had taken off without a word or a response afterwards, but she was pleased Emma had returned after acting so immature, it was...Janet wasn't really impressed with the way Emma had gotten herself knocked up, it reminded her too much of that fucked up mess Rachel had gotten herself in with Nick Savage. She had thought Emma would've had more sense, but clearly not. Oh, she knew the circumstances were different, but the similarities were too obvious. Gill and Julie, though they hadn't really spent much time with Emma because of their work at UCOS, had taken a more different approach; they would watch and learn, speaking to Emma, Rachel, Janet and Alison, but on the subject of Emma returning after her misunderstanding of an argument...
Both former police officers could understand full well what had been going through Emma's mind; both of them had tried their best to encourage their children without pushing them too far, and Rachel, who had never had that kind of influence, and who had achieved much of what she had set out to achieve hadn't seen the point of why she should point her daughter down the same path she had taken.
When Emma had joined the police, Rachel had been more than supportive; she didn't take a "she's old enough to make her own mind up" way of thinking, nor did she take "she wants to become like me" as an excuse to force Emma into doing what she wanted. No, she'd encouraged her daughter, giving her advice about which fields to enter. When Emma decided to follow Murder and MIT, Rachel had thought it was fantastic, and her daughter had quickly become a success.
It hadn't been a surprise when Emma had been offered a London posting; big city, lots of opportunities for advancement, but Rachel hadn't minded that though she had commented it would be better if she stayed in Manchester. Gill, Julie, Janet and Alison knew that, knew that Rachel would've supported Emma even if she had gone to bloody London, but it wasn't her fault her daughter had misinterpreted it.
Like Janet and Alison, Julie and Gill were not very happy that Emma had gotten pregnant, Gill especially since she had bad memories of how Nick bloody Savage had manipulated and wormed his way back into Rachel's life after Janet had been stabbed. But they knew the new Bailey baby's father was nothing like Nick.
They crossed their fingers for that. They also knew full well one of the reasons Emma had returned to Manchester was to make sure there was a wide distance between her and the father, and Emma had already stated her mother had almost died because she'd let Nick back into her life. Emma just wanted insurance she didn't get her heart broken the way her mother's had.
That was a good point; one of the reasons Rachel had never bothered looking for another bloke was because Nick had broken her heart, and Emma didn't want something like that happening to her.
In the weeks since her transfer to MIT Emma had quickly entered her niche, and she found herself enjoying the cases very quickly. Thanks to her Murder squad experience, she found a much easier transition compared to what her mother had done with the Sex crimes unit, and she made quite a few friends thanks to family members. Everyone in the syndicate knew Sammy had been trained by Emma's mother, ex DCI Rachel Bailey, but there was no favoritism in the syndicate. Sammy showed concern and care for Emma, hell he showed concern and care for everybody from Natalie to Elise, who both worked in the syndicate, but he knew the line between being a boss and being a big brother.
Natalie and Elise were both a bit unforgiving towards Emma, but like Rachel they were considerably more forgiving than their mums. Natalie, however, was more bitter. Emma and she had been 'sisters' growing up, they'd played with each other, and Emma had looked out for the other girl when they'd reached their teens. So Natalie had good reason to be bitter and annoyed, but she was working on it.
As she became more heavily pregnant, Emma had been relegated to lighter duties; disclosures, paperwork. She wasn't really bothered by that, the less stress she went through, the better. Emma knew Sammy had been pre-warned by someone, either her own mother or Gill, about the curse her family had when it came to childbirth, so she was grateful to her new boss he was thinking about her wellbeing.
Sammy was brilliant as a boss, and Emma saw for herself why he and Elise, a woman he had known for years, and his DS, again no favoritism since Elise was such a hard worker and had gained her rank from her effort, were among the elite MIT syndicate heads. DCI Sammy Murray was completely different from the guy whom she had called "big brother," and Emma could say she was proud of how well Sammy took her mother's teachings, knowledge she had gleaned from both Julie and Gill, so in a sense they had taught Sammy everything they had known.
During a case, Emma was switching to eating a fruit salad and working on the papers of one of the cases. Disclosures was boring, but it was low stress here, and the work she was doing took her mind off boredom. There was an open laptop in front of her, playing videos of babycare for Emma to watch. This stimuli prevented Emma from getting bored, but most of all it gave her the opportunity to study up on caring for a baby. Sammy had already visited her, seen the laptop and what was being played, and left quietly without a comment.
Emma had just come across a case without the right papers, so she paused the video, pushed her fruit away, and she spent the next few minutes searching for it. That's how Elise found her, "Everything okay?"
Emma glanced up, "I'm looking for the Ellen Shepherd case, I've got 4 out of the 10 pages here."
"I'll look downstairs if you check up here," Elise said.
"That's perfect," Emma replied, and Elise left. For the next 5 minutes Emma searched for the pages of the case, and came up with 2 more. Elise finally returned, the missing papers in her hands. "Sorry 'bout that, Em, you found a few more."
"Yeah," the brunette took the missing papers and shuffled them into place with the others before putting them away. Elise was still there, "Anymore case papers missing?" she asked.
"Just that one so far. Everything else seems to be here okay, thanks," Emma replied, "how's the present case going?"
Elise shrugged her shoulders, "Not too badly. We've identified the two lads stabbed, and we've sent FLOs to their families already to keep them apprised of the case, but we're still not clear about why they were stabbed. I should know more when I the DC's come back from questioning them."
Emma gritted her teeth in annoyance. She should be out there, not stuck in here, questioning the parents of the victims but she, Elise, Natalie and Sammy knew how delicate her pregnancy was bound to be. She cursed her family's genes not for the first time. No, she amended. Not all of the genes in her body were bad, just inconvenient at times. The current case was fairly routine as far as MIT was concerned; two teenage lads, beaten and stabbed in a public place, few witnesses, low quality CCTV clips, but it wasn't a racial attack as far as was known though it had the hallmarks of one. Emma had already seen the pictures taken of the crime scene. The good thing was she would still attend the briefings, that way she could make her own contributions to the case without actually risking her baby.
"What's your take on it?" she asked Elise, making the older girl shrug again.
"It's a nasty one," Elise began, "the way the victims were just beaten and stabbed like that. At least we know how many of them there were in the attack."
"Five against two, not good odds are they?" Emma replied rhetorically. "Those black hoods did a good job of hiding who they were."
"Yeah," Elise said, "but we don't know if it was just a random or premeditated attack."
Emma sighed, "I wish I was down there, going over everything known about the lads."
"The Bailey pregnancy curse," Elise folded her arms, gazing at her long time friend and honoury cousin with sympathy. "How's it going?"
"I've got an appointment with the doctor's tomorrow to make sure the baby's healthy and growing properly inside me," Emma ran a hand delicately over her pregnant belly. Elise smiled at the expression on Emma's face, then her mind snapped back into the here and now. "Tell me and Nat tomorrow how it went, I'd better go."
Emma's mind snapped back into the present day too. "Yeah, sorry to keep ya, and yeah. I'll definitely tell you."
Elise nodded and left, but Emma wasn't alone in the disclosures room for long. "Your mother was the same when she was expecting you." Emma gasped at the sight of a grinning Gill Murray standing in the doorway. "How ya doing, kid?"
With a lot of difficulty thanks to her increased weight, Emma got out of her chair and went to Gill, who returned the embrace happily. When they pulled back Gill studied Emma's face closely. "You're glowing," Gill said with a grin, "motherhood seems to suit you."
Emma glanced down at her pregnant belly again, rubbing it gently, "I think so too." Suddenly, slightly embarrassed by the spell she'd been put under, Emma looked at the woman who'd been both a beloved aunt and grandmother rolled into one, "Hold on, how come you're here?"
Gill lifted a brow, "My son's in charge of this station, how do you think I got in?"
"Ah, say no more," Emma grinned devilishly, "still terrifying my big brother?"
The two women giggled as Gill asked mischievously, "Of course, how else am I supposed to make him do what he needs too? Orla's the same way," Gill smirked. Emma smirked as well at the thought of Sammy being controlled by his wife and his mother, then she asked, "Social call?"
"More or less," Gill replied, "I wanted to look in, see how you were doing, and most of all say thank you for getting your mother back together."
Ah, Emma realised. She should've known her mother had something to do with this visit, but she wasn't offended despite what her earlier thoughts might make people feel. "How's she doing?" she asked when she sat back down in her chair.
Without asking, Gill plopped herself down in the chair opposite the desk, "It's like having the Rachel I knew back, oh she was okay when she came to work for UCOS, but now its like someone else is there."
"Yeah," Emma replied quietly, not daring to tell Gill about the nightmares, "Auntie Gill, can I ask something?"
Gill sat up straight, eyes beadily staring at her, "'course you can."
Emma put a hand gently on her pregnant stomach, "What was mum like when she was pregnant with me?"
"You mean what was she like to work and be with?"
Emma shrugged her shoulders, "If you like. I'm only asking 'cause I feel so useless sitting in this cabinet, filing cases, when I should be out and about."
Gill chuckled. "What?" Emma asked, eyes narrowed in confusion.
"Sammy told us about the visit you gave him late at night. The one where you seemed to resent being in Rachel's shadow. Let me tell you something, kid. I've known your mother for years, and I've known you for your whole life. You're like your mother in many ways, personality and appearance, but you're completely different from her. You didn't have a drunk for a dad, you never had siblings to take care of you when your mother ran off to do god knows what. Rachel had to go through all that, so I think you were very lucky, and correct me if I'm wrong but don't you hate your father?"
Emma's eyes narrowed, "I barely even knew the bastard even after having the chance, how can I make an opinion of him?"
"Language," Gill frowned, her glare and tone making Emma feel like a kid who'd misbehaved. Emma shrugged, "I remember meeting my father, though I didn't want to know him when I started spending time at my grandfathers."
Emma closed her eyes as she thought about Nathan Savage. When she'd first met him, they'd hit it off very quickly, and soon so had her mother. Emma remembered her mother's initial feelings about meeting Nathan for the first time, but he'd been happy to know her. The most surprising person to welcome Rachel was Caroline, Nick's ex. Caroline had good reason to hate Rachel and Emma, and yet she had been willing to extend the olive branch. And then there was her paternal aunt, Anita. The woman had tried for many years to bridge the gulf between them, but her mother had always been worried about any contact with Nick's family. Anita hadn't given up before meeting her niece properly in the flesh in a supermarket when Rachel had had a meeting with other DI's and DCI'S.
"I hate to say it but they would've had a good reason to hate you and your mother," Gill pointed out. She remembered how Emma had called her round after that supermarket meeting to do some soul searching. Gill had been all for her meeting the Savage clan, within reason. That was because a chance to know other members of a family didn't come very often.
Emma agreed with her. "I know, that's one of the reasons I'm asking about mum when she was pregnant with me."
"Okay, but why are you bothered about what Rachel was like when she was pregnant with you?" Gill asked curiously.
"All my life I've heard stories from you, Aunt Ali and Uncle Tony to name a few 'bout what mum used to be like before I was born. I just wanna know the difference."
"Ah," Gill smiled as she worked out what Emma wanted. "Well, your mum was very reckless. She was impatient, and she sometimes took dangerous risks. When I first met her, she challenged me whilst I was busy with a case, and I was impressed with her gutsy attitude. That's why I took her into my syndicate, but I'd also contacted her boss in the Sex Crimes Unit. He told me Rachel was interested in joining the MIT. So I decided to give her a chance. It is incredibly rare to meet someone like that, Emma. I taught Rachel what to look for, and she's taught that lesson to many others. Including Sammy.
"You mother quickly proved to be a good detective, but she was a rough diamond that needed a bit of cutting and polishing. I gave her to Janet to fine tune. I think Janet did a very good job; when they first met they weren't impressed with one another, but as the case we were working on progressed they became more and more friendly with each other. Has Janet ever told you about how your mother drove the car they were in after a suspect?"
"No," Emma said, surprised and a bit...terrified by what her aunt had implied.
"Well, the whole thing terrified Janet, which is why your auntie has insisted on driving a car whenever she's partnered with Rachel. After she'd had you, Rachel refused to do anything like that again. But the point is they eventually became good friends, and Rachel used Janet as a sounding board whenever she needed a piece of advice. Now she's older and wiser herself, Rachel still uses Janet for moral support. When she was pregnant with you, she asked Janet for a lot of advice. Does that answer your question?"
"More or less, but what I really wanna know is what will I be like when I become a mum?" Emma replied.
Gill sighed, "Emma, no-one can answer that question but you. Even Taisie, who was a wildcard when she was younger, matured when she had her first child. You should know how confused she was on the run up to delivering her baby, that was because she had no idea what kind of parent she would become, but when she did have her child many of her bad tendencies were ironed out. Elise was always mature, but its made her wiser about the world, you know that."
"True," Emma replied. Elise hadn't really changed after having her children, but then again she'd always been levelheaded and mature, but she wasn't a pompous, rule abiding bootlicker.
Janet was sitting in Rachel's living room, the pair of them chatting idly, some of the conversation was about the case Rachel was working on in UCOS. For the blond ex Detective Inspector, hearing Rachel speak again, hear that tone of excitement and seeing that sparkle of excitement in her eyes reminded her of the old days.
"I think you've found a niche in UCOS Rachel," Janet commented.
"True, some of the cases are fairly simple, and I'm glad that UCOS isn't as stressful as MIT, or Murder and Vice. It's more like attending a book club, it certainly makes a change."
Janet smirked, "Ah, you're used to the heavy duty departments, but I'm glad you've finally gotten back in doing what you loved; handcuffing someone and going "you're nicked arsehole," something you haven't really done for a long time."
"True," One of the things Rachel had hated about being a DCI was missing out on the actual arrests. It also went with not sitting in on interviews, going to a suspects house with the others.
"So, how do you find your new boss? Julie and Gill quite like her, but how do you feel around her?"
Rachel shrugged, "Lucy's okay. She's a good copper, got a good head on her shoulders, she's fair and open. When I first went with her to speak to someone, I decided to let her speak so I could observe. I was impressed with her questions, but then again you don't rise very far in the police without being able to ask really good questions."
"You're right there," Janet sipped her tea. "How's it going with Emma?"
"I'm glad she's back. She's been a great help whenever I had one of those nightmares," Rachel shuddered visibly, not that Janet could blame her, she knew what those nightmares were about, "and she's doing well."
"How's it going, getting over the misunderstanding?"
"Better than I thought. Emma's really trying to make up for it all, but she's awkward around Alison, Holly and Natalie. That misunderstanding, running away like a spoilt kid in a huff, did damage on that front. Even if she was off with me, she shouldn't have tarred the same brush with you or them."
Janet nodded, "What about the new Bailey baby?"
"Bailey baby, I like that," Rachel smiled, then it disappeared, "what 'bout her?"
"Is the Bailey pregnancy curse back?"
"Oh, that," Rachel grimaced at the memory and the thought of the curse that had nearly seen her mother miscarry her children, her and Alison included, and had made her own pregnancy with Emma into a living hell, to say nothing about what Alison had gone through with her own family. "Emma's told me how rough the pregnancy was for her in London, so far, so she's taking incredible care now she's back home."
Janet looked worried, "What do you mean, rough for her in London?"
"Well, she had a mild scare, some blood had trickled down her legs," Rachel's face was grim, but her voice was darker, "she almost had a heart attack, so it was a relief for her when she found the baby was okay."
"I don't blame her for being scared," Janet said quietly, remembering how Rachel had gone through a similar episode herself, but she didn't dare say that to Rachel's face, the chance her old friend was thinking the same was too high to risk, "has she arranged appointments like you had?"
"Yep. She's had one earlier today, she called to say the baby was okay."
"That's good. What's she doing at Sammy's syndicate?"
"Disclosures," Rachel grimaced at the sudden memory of the time she'd spent in that bloody cupboard when she'd been a DC in syndicate 9. Still, if all you were worried about was losing a baby, low grade and low stress work was the answer.
Janet seemed to approve. "At least she's not putting herself or the baby at risk. How's she coping with being an expectant mother?"
Rachel had spent the last few weeks observing her daughter whenever she returned home after a long day at Sammy's syndicate, and she was usually escorted home by Elise or Natalie. Privately Rachel thought the pair had thought if they kept watch over Emma whilst under the pretense of making sure she got home safely they would make sure she didn't leave again.
"She's dragged me out all over town to look for baby's stuff, but I've kept most of her stuff. I didn't have the heart to get rid of it all; I've got albums worth and DVDs of Emma as a baby, days out, birthdays, Christmases... I couldn't get rid of any of it. Some of it needed to be cleared out for me to make some room, but I've kept the majority of stuff."
"How does she feel about that?"
Rachel shrugged, "She's grateful 'cause she doesn't have to chalk out for stuff, but she does want to get some of it to be prepared, besides its not like I kept the majority of baby wipes and nappies."
Janet smiled as a memory bloomed inside her mind, "Do you remember Chantelle Dean?" (2)
"That Leon murder, the girl who looked gorgeous and let Daysha Kaye give blowjobs to kids younger than her at her daughter's party? In that case, yeah, I do remember her," there was a grimace on Rachel's face as she remembered Chantelle Dean, but Janet knew Rachel's dislike for Chantelle was a lot more than it appeared.
Chantelle Dean had not taken to motherhood with an open mind; on the street in Gangland, she'd been a simple baby mother, someone to knock up by the next 'alpha male,' and all she'd wanted to do was leave. Janet hadn't blamed her; after hearing what Daysha had been forced to do, giving a 12 year old lad a blowjob, she would not want someone to grow up in that kind of world. Even her worst enemy, well Geoff Hastings might've been an exception. When she'd heard about Daysha and Chantelle, Janet had gotten a possible glimpse of what the future held for the young girl. Daysha could have become a baby mother like Chantelle. It was only her brother's urging at getting a proper education which prevented this.
Rachel by that point had taken to motherhood with a lot more enthusiasm and devotion than Chantelle had. Janet had already gathered from her own observations and how she'd let oral sex be performed during her own daughter's birthday party that Chantelle Dean was scum. She didn't care if any child she had lived or died, though whether that was true or not now she had no idea.
When Chantelle had been brought to the station to be questioned, Janet had been surprised by her lack of indifference when her daughter had shitted herself, though she hadn't been surprised when she'd caught Rachel's expression. Rachel had a beautiful baby of her own, in her mind she believed every child was sacred. In that regard she was exactly like Alison, who believed the same thing. It was some gene in the Bailey family that Janet liked.
Anyway, Rachel had a bag of nappies in her desk in case Emma was in the station and there was an emergency.
"What about her?" Rachel's question brought Janet back to the present, and the blonde took a sip. "I was just remembering how you surprised her when you told me about that bag of nappies and creams in your desk."
Rachel smirked, the memory reappearing in her mind. "Ah, that was sweet, that expression on that little bitch's face when she heard I had some nappies in my desk. Good times."
Janet shook her head, not at all alarmed by the sadistic glee in Rachel's eyes. "It wouldn't surprise me if that kid Chantelle had in prison was put into care."
"I'll check tomorrow, but is there a point to all this?" Rachel cocked her head curiously at Janet, staring questioningly into the blonde's eyes.
"Would it surprise you if Emma decides to take a bag like that into work with her, or if Sammy will mind if she takes her daughter into work like you did?"
"I didn't always take her into work, I only did that when I needed to," Rachel pointed out, but deep down she knew it wouldn't surprise her. She didn't give her best friend the luxury of letting her know that.
Note - I was thinking of writing two separate chapters where-
Emma, at the age of 11, is struggling to work out what she wants to become despite all her skills and talents, but she discovers she is a detective at heart. A scene where Janet and Gill (one I've had in mind since I began these oneshots) change Natasha, Chantelle's daughter's nappy.What do you think?