Aaron followed slowly, all his senses tuned for whatever was to come. His mom led the way downstairs and he was confused at first. Then, she turned the corner to his room, immaculately clean, as usual, and opened his closet doors, tossing his clothes hamper, and other containers that held past important schoolwork, yearbooks and certificates.
"What are you doing?" he asked evenly.
"If you're hiding food in here again, we need to deal with it," she said calmly. Finally satisfied with the state of the bottom of his closet, his mom began putting things to rights again. Next, she searched the shelves that sat over the area where his clothes hung.
"I'm not," he told her calmly. And he wasn't. Not there, anyway.
He watched as she checked each drawer in his dresser and desk, his bookshelf, and under his mattress. As she struggled to get down on the floor, using her phone as a flashlight, Aaron could hear the sigh that escaped her lips. She turned to look at him, and Aaron felt trapped, he thought about running. But she stopped him short.
"We're going to deal with this," she said, her tone even and matter-of-fact. Then, one by one, she removed the plastic containers, bags and wrappers from beneath his bed.
"What are you doing?!" he asked, his voice climbing in alarm.
"Aaron, you can't keep this in here," his mom cracked the lid on one container, and nearly gagged. Inside, was spoiled tuna casserole. "Honey, this food is covered in mold. You'll get sick."
He couldn't move. He couldn't speak. Aaron just stood still, trying to prepare himself for whatever came next. But he didn't actually believe she'd take everything away. Not again. Then, he saw her gather up the first few containers and walk toward his bedroom door and something broke lose inside him.
"You can't! Mom, this is my room! You said it a thousand times! You can't just come in here and take stuff!"
"Aaron, listen to me," she said, stopping in front of him. "You are always going to be taken care of here. You're always going to have enough to eat. You're always welcome to fruit from the table, or anything in the bottom drawer of the fridge. I promise you, it's going to be okay. But you keeping perishable food under your bed like this? It's not healthy. And if I, as your mom, who loves you and looks out for you, notice that something isn't healthy, I have to step in, on good conscience."
"You were just going to throw it out, anyway!" he exploded. "What does it matter if, or where I keep it?!"
"Yes, I was going to throw it away because when something goes bad, it's not healthy to eat anymore. I promise, we're going to replace this with food that will keep. I'm not going to fight you on this, okay? You are allowed to eat whenever you're hungry. You don't have to save leftovers from meals. You can have your own container to keep in here. It'll always be available to you. Now, I need you to move aside so I can take care of these," Emily said gently, her arms still full of Tupperware.
Aaron tipped his chin, a subtle act of defiance. He didn't move. "You're not listening to me! So, why should I listen to you?!" he flinched even as the words left his mouth. He was so far outside of what was acceptable, it wasn't even funny, but he couldn't stop it.
In the kitchen, a floor above Aaron's room, JJ sighed, trying to keep the mood light. "Now I know I'm home," she said. "People freaking out besides me."
Penelope slid her chair out and excused herself, heading downstairs. It was totally unusual to hear The President raise his voice like this, especially at Emily, but he had a lot pent up, and she figured he might need extra support.
"So, Jordan," Dave asked easily, trying to distract from the commotion going on below them. "What do you think of my lasagna?"
"It's delicious," she nodded. "JJ and I used to get pizza once in a while at Pitt. It was good, but nothing beats home cooking."
"What about you, JJ? Do you like it? And our decorations?" Spencer pressed, from directly beside her.
"Yeah, it's great," she confirmed, but her tone sounded empty.
"You all right?" Derek asked and she shook her head.
"Sorry, I can't concentrate on this with whatever Aaron's screaming about down there."
"Hey," Penelope said softly, getting Aaron's attention before she dared try to touch him.
"You need to let Mom do this," Penelope said, quickly taking in the array of missing leftovers from the kitchen, and piles of wrappers and boxes.
"Oh, so now you're on her side?! Why won't anyone believe me? This is no big deal! Just put it back and leave me alone!" Aaron exclaimed, shaking.
"I'm on your side. So is your mom. We're trying to help right now," Penelope explained gently. "I know this is scary-"
"I'm not scared! I lived with a lot worse than this! And I sure as hell have eaten food worse than any of this looks and it didn't hurt me!" he exclaimed.
"Then this must be pretty confusing," Penelope corrected. Then she turned to Emily. "I'm taking him to put together something he can keep in here," she said, her tone leaving no room for argument. Then, she led Aaron upstairs, giving the evil eye to Spencer, JJ, Derek and Jordan. Aaron didn't need any commentary right now.
"How big of a container do you need?" she asked, keeping her voice low.
Wordlessly, he picked a large bowl, regularly used for popcorn during movie nights. She didn't comment, only took him to the cupboards and the pantry so he could fill it. Penelope was glad Emily kept the disposing of the food out of Aaron's sight. Everyone in the family knew he had issues with seeing food - even bad food - being thrown away.
"Aaron?" Spencer questioned. "I don't know if this is a good time, but I just wanted to be sure you know I'm really sorry for hitting you. I promise, won't do that ever again, even if you make me really angry. Okay? Do you accept my apology?"
Instead of answering, Aaron took a cautious step back. "No," he admitted, his voice hoarse. "I hear you. But I can't accept it. Not right now. My head's pretty messed up right now. Give me a day or two…" he said, as if they were making a bargain.
"Oh, of course," Spencer answered, though his expression clearly showed his disappointment. "Aaron? I got these at the store the other day with Derek. You can keep them with you if you want," he invited, holding out a new box of granola bars.
"They're yours. I don't need them," Aaron said, shrugging, and clearly not used to his brother's generosity.
"So, if they're mine, I get to choose what to do with them. I'm choosing to give them to you. You need them more than I do anyway," he said, putting the box in Aaron's hand and walking back to the table.
"Thanks," Aaron called, still uncomfortable, as Penelope filled the bowl with wrapped crackers, cookies, pudding cups, chips, dried fruit, cereal, small bottles of water and anything else she could see at a glance. It made him feel better just watching her do it.
Finally, Emily finished tossing all of Aaron's stash. The containers went, too, because she simply couldn't abide herself or anyone else washing them and reusing them. Then, while she waited for Aaron to return with Penelope, Emily put together baskets of food and set them in each room of the house. Nuts. Chocolates. Crackers with a jar of peanut butter nearby. Anything she could think of. She mixed the choices together, and then made sure there was something in every room, even her own. She wanted Aaron feeling safe, and clearly he didn't.
When he and Penelope finally returned, they sat down beside each other on Aaron's bed. He clutched a large yellow popcorn bowl on his lap as Emily pulled up the desk chair across from him.
"I need to apologize to you," she said, looking Aaron in the eyes. "I haven't been doing a good job being your mom. It's my responsibility to pay enough attention to know when you're struggling. I'm not giving you excuses. I should have been there for you and I wasn't. That is not okay. I'm so sorry you felt so unsafe you ran away, and I'm sorry I wasn't more tuned in and didn't talk to you about it afterward. You deserve to have a mom who's available to you, who listens to you and takes care of you, no matter how old you are."
"But I was disrespectful," Aaron muttered.
"You were panicking," Emily corrected. "I know the difference. This hoarding? Should have never happened."
"I'm sorry," Aaron apologized, and meant it.
"Honey, it's not your fault. Okay? I promise you. This is part of my job as your mom and I haven't followed through with you…on so many things. Know that starting from right now, I will be someone you can count on again."
"Because JJ's home?" Aaron asked, his honesty shocking her.
"Honestly, yes, it's easier to make sure all of you are okay, when you're all under the same roof. I didn't like it at all being separated from you."
"Me neither," Aaron admitted quietly.
"What I'm trying to say is, I'm going to be checking in with you. I want to talk to you every single day. I want to know how you're doing. Not just what you think I want to hear, but the truth. I'm going to get you an appointment," she said, referencing the counselor Aaron had seen off and on since he moved in with her. "I want you to keep it this time."
Aaron bit his lip guiltily.
"I'm going to help you, all right? I'll drive you, or Penelope or Derek can drive you. Whoever you feel most comfortable with. But I want your word on this, all right? It's very important that you have someone to discuss these things with, that isn't me or your brothers or sisters."
"I promise," he said solemnly.
"Now, is there anything you need to talk to me about?" she asked, and held her breath, not knowing if Aaron was ready to be this honest or not.
He watched her, suspicion clouding his eyes.
"I'll just listen," she promised. "I won't say a word until you're finished. Or at all, if you'd prefer."
Aaron cleared his throat. "I feel like you like Spencer more than me. Because after he hurt me you let him go with you to see JJ and left me behind. Then, Dave left. Then, I left, and no one even missed me."
"I'm sorry about that. I can see how it seemed to you that I was favoring Spencer when I offered to take him with me. I can see that you probably chose not to go because you didn't feel safe around him at that time, and I'm very sorry about that. I can't take back the past, but I wish I could. I wish I could have made the correct choice that day, because you deserve to feel wanted and loved and secure every single day, not just when you think you deserve it. I love you so much, Aaron, and I will do everything in my power so that you can feel safe here again. It won't happen overnight and it will take work, but I'm in it for the long haul with you. Because I love you so much."
"I love you, too," he said quietly. Slowly, he released his grip on the bowl, stood, and wrapped his arms around her. "I'm sorry for yelling at you," he said into her shoulder.
"We're going to work this out, okay? Together as a family," Emily promised. Over Aaron's shoulder, she caught sight of Penelope, tears streaming down her cheeks, and a smile on her face. She flashed Emily a thumbs-up, and then quietly left the room.
A/N: It's about time Emily and Aaron had that talk! Seriously! Thank you guys again for all your fabulous feedback! It's always a good day when I read it! Seven more chapters to go!