This chapter's kinda...different. I tried something new. Trigger warnings for anxiety, depression, panic attacks, suicide mentions, and self-harm mentions. Enjoy.

I'm nauseous.

My head is spinning and my stomach is churning and I feel like I'm gonna puke. It hasn't gotten any better since my talk with Ally. The anxiety is still there, still as bitchy as ever, and I feel like death.

I don't know if I can do this. Just being in the car, knowing we're on the way to therapy…it makes me want to shoot myself. I'm so determined to stay clean, but the urge to self-harm has never been stronger. If only I could cut, just once, I wouldn't feel as anxious. All of this would go away. It'd help.

"Aus? You good back there?" I blink, shaking my head. Rocky's looking at me through the rearview mirror as he makes a right turn. "

"Yeah, sorry," I mumble. "Just nervous."

Riker pulls me in closer and pats his shoulder. "It's gonna be okay. This'll be good."

"Well that was a 180, Mr. I Don't Wanna Go To Therapy and You Can't Make Me."

"I promised Rocky I'd give it a try, Ell," Riker replies softly. "I could still end up hating it by the end."

"We also talked about a positive attitude," Rocky grumbles from the front seat. "All of you need to stop being so negative about this. I promise, he's nice."

"He?"

"Yeah, he," Rocky replies. "His name is Lucas Jensen, and he's only been doing this for four years, but I've read so many good things about him."

"We'll never know until we try, guys," Ratliff says. "Rocky's right. This is good for us. We need this. We can't have anymore suicide attempts. We need to start getting better."

"I doubt this'll make me better," I mutter, leaning back against the seat and crossing my arms over my chest.

"Aus-"

"I don't think I can do this," I say, dropping my voice to a whisper. "Not without having a fuckin' panic attack."

"Hi, we've got an appointment with Mr. Jensen. Lynch?"

The receptionist nods, typing something into her computer. I squeeze Riker's hand, pressing myself into his side and trying to pull down my sleeves in a way that won't draw attention.

"Don't bother. That just makes you look like you have something to hide."

My heart skips a beat, and immediately begins speeding up, trying to win some kind of non-existent race.

"Who are you?" Riker gives my hand a squeeze and turns to the girl sitting behind us.

I've never seen someone like her before. She's wearing a leather jacket over a ripped black shirt and a pair of dark blue jean shorts, with black fishnet tights. Her long black hair is pin-straight and frames her face, cascading over her shoulders. Her makeup is dark, yet minimal. She seems exactly what you'd expect an emo/goth girl to look like. The stereotype may not be correct, but she fits it to a T.

"My name's Avery."

"Do you come here a lot?"

"Your therapist is my dad," Avery replies. "So yeah, I'd say so."

"He has kids?"

Avery shrugs. "You didn't expect that, did you? He seems a lot younger than he actually is. I have an older sister and an older brother. I'm the youngest."

"Wow."

"Alright guys, you can head in," The receptionist says. "Alex might be in there with him, but Mr. Jensen didn't have an appointment before yours. Down the hall, first door on your left."

"Alex?"

"Mr. Jensen's son," she tells us. "He won't be there for your appointment, don't worry about it."

Walking into the office has me shaking.

I can feel it, so I know Riker must be able to as well. He's kinda shaking too. Even Rocky looks a little uneasy. He's been so into keeping a positive front about this, but it's not hard to tell that he's nervous. From the way he's squeezing Ratliff's hand, he doesn't look too comfortable.

There's a man sitting behind a desk, talking to someone on the other side. My best guess is the boy is Alex, Lucas' son. He looks a lot like his dad – there's no way they aren't related.

"Um, hello?"

"Oh! Shit, I'm sorry. Go ahead and take a seat, I'll be with you guys in a couple minutes."

Most people would be angry that he isn't getting to us at this very moment, but I'm appreciative of the breathing time. We sit down – there's a loveseat next to his son, and a couple more couches behind. It's a small office, quite quaint, but still really nice.

"Kid, you gotta go now," Lucas says. He's not talking very loudly, but from how close we're sitting, we can hear everything. He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a set of car keys. "Take your sister home. But Alex, be careful. Please. Don't do anything stupid. Your mom's home, just…hang on until you get there? These guys are my last appointment for the day. I'll be home soon."

Alex nods, taking the keys. Lucas reaches across the table to pull his son in for a brief hug. "Love you. I'll see you at home."

Once Alex leaves, Lucas turns to us. "Again, I'm really sorry about that. We've had kinda…a situation for the past few days. Unforeseen circumstances."

This gives me a chance to get a good look at him. He's wearing a red and black flannel over a black shirt, and black jeans. His hair is tucked into a grey beanie, and his septum is pierced. Tattoo sleeves cover both of his arms, and I can see the hint of tattoos under his neck, probably going all over his chest. If you ask me, he looks nothing like your typical therapist.

"Don't worry about it, Mr. Jensen," Rocky speaks up. "We're just glad you could see us."

"Lucas," he corrects. "Mr. Jensen makes me feel old, which, I am old, but I don't wanna feel it."

"You don't look that old."

Lucas smiles. "I have three kids, all one year apart. Alex is seventeen, Eliana is sixteen, and Avery is fifteen. So I'm pretty up there."

"Yeah, we met Avery in the waiting room," I say, willing my voice to stop shaking. I probably sound like an idiot.

"I bet you're wondering why they were here today."

"It's personal, you don't have to tell us," Rydel speaks up. It's the first time she's said something since we left the house. She seemed pretty on board with this, but I can't help think she may not be as okay with it as she seemed to be.

Lucas shrugs. "I don't mind. And maybe it'll make you guys feel more comfortable, me telling you some things about me so it doesn't feel so one-sided."

"How could you…?"

He chuckles. "I tend to do this with most of my patients; tell you a lot about me, so you'll trust me and tell me more about you. And honestly, I know exactly what you guys are feeling. You don't want to be here, you're terrified of what's going to happen, you don't exactly trust me, and you're wondering what the fuck the point of telling a stranger your problems is, when the techniques they give you aren't going to help anyway."

"That's…That's exactly right, jesus christ," Riker mutters. "You're good."

"I'm not your traditional therapist," Lucas replies. "I didn't know I wanted to do this until my kids started struggling. My passion has always been music. I write, produce, sing, you name it, I love it. I only went to school for this a few years ago. My practice is only four years old, but I've helped quite a few people, using non-traditional methods, and I know I can help you guys."

"Is that a guarantee?"

"How about I start with telling you about my kids? You'll understand as I go along."

He turns a picture frame around to face us, and we lean in to look at it. Three teenagers are standing in front of a large house, smiling. I recognize Alex and Avery, Alex carrying his sister on his back. The other girl next to them looks different. Unlike Alex and Avery, she has curled hair and a full face of makeup, matched with a really pretty pink dress.

"Let's start with this. I have manic depression, generalized anxiety disorder, and PTSD. I used to cut really badly, and I used to be really suicidal. I actually tried to kill myself nine times when I was a teenager, then one last time after I proposed to my girlfriend, because I didn't think I was good enough for her and I didn't want her to be stuck with me." He pauses and turns another frame around. This is a picture of him kissing the cheek of a woman who looks to be his wife. She looks just like him, only female. The tattoos, septum piercing, and dark clothes are the same. I see where Alex and Avery took inspiration.

"That's your wife?"

Lucas nods. "She's the love of my life. But my stupid ass decided to try and kill himself because I didn't think I was good enough. My teenage years were awful. I hated every second of them."

"That's…That fucking sucks," Ratliff says. "That really sucks."

"It does," Lucas agrees. "And that brings me to my kids. Alex has manic depression, social anxiety, and generalized anxiety. He self-harms and has suicidal thoughts. Avery is pretty similar, but she's not bipolar. Instead, she's got major depressive disorder, and the same anxiety disorders her brother has."

"And Eliana?"

"Eliana got lucky," Lucas replies. "She didn't inherit any of this from her mother or me. She's the normal one. She's at the top in her class, she has tons of friends, a great boyfriend, and she's on the path to an Ivy League. So definitely a lot different than Alex and Avery."

"That's…wow. I just…wow," I say. The shit he's been through is unbelievable. I'm starting to see why he's gotten so many compliments. Rocky had to have done a lot of research to find him, and honestly, he seems like the best fit.

"And finally, why Alex and Avery were here in the first place," Lucas sighs. "They're on suicide watch. Not like, medical suicide watch because they tried to kill themselves, their mom and I put them on suicide watch because we're scared. Both of them are in pretty dark places, and we can't take chances. So they have to be with someone at all times. Raven, my wife, just got home from work, so they're on their way home now."

"Jesus…" Rocky mutters. "I'm so sorry. That's awful. I hope they get better…"

"They'll be okay," Lucas replies. "But the point of all this," he continues. "Was to show you guys, first, that it does get better and you can live through really tough shit, and second, give me an opportunity to open up to you, so now you guys can open up to me."

So...thoughts? This was not a lot of Austin and co, and a lot more OC stuff, but...was it okay? These OCs are my babies, I love them so much, and trust me, I've spent way too long developing them and adding things to their stories so they're fully fleshed out. I wanted to have the therapist be good from the beginning - they don't need anymore crappy humans in their lives. Also - Alex and Avery are not love interests and neither of them will be forming romantic relationship with Austin or any of his siblings. I know Austin/Avery seems tempting, but it's not going to happen. Next chapter will be the actually therapy session, where they open up to Lucas. I'm hoping to post it before school starts (September 6th), but if not, it'll most likely be up the weekend after.

Anyway, thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoyed.

-Neha