Chapter 25

Afterlife

They were dead.

As soon as Bethany had died in Orzammar Merrill had known that they were dead. It was only a matter of time really, they had tried to continue on, Justin had become more cross and grouchy, but they had tried. Orzammar had been a disaster; they had left shortly after talking with the King.

Death came for them a week later.

Its name was Hawke.

She had swept through their camp like a terror, she and Fenris both, everyone else was dead. Creators protect her Merrill had never seen Hawke so angry, not since her Mother had…

Merrill tried to move, but couldn't, Hawke had put a throwing blade through her ankle. She sobbed weakly as she regarded her dead companions. They had only tried to help, but it seemed that the Creators had decided that their mission was destined to fail.

"Why my sister Merrill," a cold angry voice emerged from the shadows, "Why did you have to involve Bethany?"

Hawke was dressed in her champion armor, her skin stained with warden blood. The burn scar that ran under her eyes and across her nose stood out sharply on her pale skin.

Merrill could see from the redness around her eyes that she had been crying, but it was clear that any sorrow had turned to anger in the past few weeks.

"Hawke please understand," the Dalish whimpered, "Bethany was in danger we were only trying to help."

"And what kind of help were you?" Fenris's cold voice rang out; he had never liked Merrill, now it seemed he had been proven right.

"You used blood magic to help the wardens find Bethany," Hawke accused the Dalish, "if it wasn't for you my sister would still be alive."

"No," Merrill wailed, her hands grasped at Hawke's boot, "it wasn't like that, the Templar was hunting her, I only wanted to help."

Hawke kicked her hands away. Merrill lay there sobbing pathetically.

"You only wanted to help," Hawked said in that cold sarcastic voice of hers, Merrill had heard that tone before, usually when she used it people died.

Merrill whimpered.

"Fenris," Hawke asked coolly, "help Merrill please, just like she helped my sister."

"I can do that," the elf said blandly.

The markings on his arms began to glow, Merrill knew what was coming next, she tried to crawl away but to no avail. He grasped her by the throat and pulled her to her feet, the pain in her ankle excruciating.

Fenris reached inside her chest.

The Dalish screamed.

IOI

Merrill woke with a gasp.

Her hand went to her chest, feeling the pounding heart within, making sure it was still beating. Creators what a horrible dream, she almost would have preferred the darkspawn dreams that now haunted her sleeping mind.

Hawke angry scared Merrill more than any darkspawn.

She cursed herself for falling asleep, Justin had wanted at least one of them watching Bethany at all times. He was still not entirely convinced that this had been some internal assassination attempt.

Justin would be extremely cross with her had he known she had fallen asleep.

The healing room inside the Orzammar circle was quiet, the only light coming from a series of blue enchanted crystal set into the wall; it was currently night in Orzammar at least Merrill assumed it was since most of the city's population was currently asleep.

Bethany had been brought here three days ago. If it wasn't for the quick actions of that dwarf Faizyl, Bethany would have died right there. The dwarf was able to identify the poison on the dagger just from how it smelled. He had managed to draw much of the poison out of her arm, but to treat what was in her body would be more difficult.

Wren had pushed himself to the limit keeping Bethany's heart beating. While Lord Gavorn had summoned Mages from the circle to aid them. Merrill had helped as well, she was no healer, but she knew an old Dalish remedy to ease the breathing of the sick. Bethany's chest was coated with that medicine now.

The former circle mage slept peacefully in her bed, her breathing having finally returned to normal. One of the senior enchanters, an elf named Alim said that it was all up to her now. They had done everything they could to counter the poison. Merrill had whimpered at that, but the elf had put a reassuring hand on her shoulder. It made Merrill feel a little better at least.

Bethany was strong, if anyone could survive this it was her.

"Are you okay?"

Merrill started, Enchanter Alim stood in the doorway, the Dalish's heart skipped a beat. He was a handsome elf, with short brown hair and dark soulful eyes. Merrill felt a slight falling sensation in her stomach whenever he smiled at her.

"I-I'm f-fine Alim," she stuttered nervously, cursing her pounding heart the whole time, "Is Bethany?"

"She seems better." The elven mage said placing a hand on her cool forehead. Her condition had stabilized, but she had yet to awaken. He was a little concerned about that, but decided it was better to let her rest. The Black Hand was one of the deadliest poisons in Thedas.

The young woman was extremely fortunate.

"Are you hungry?" Alim asked the Dalish, "Your friend with the ax should be here shortly, I wonder if you would like to join me, I mean us, the circle, for breakfast?"

Merrill smiled nervously; it would be nice to have a meal with the man. Their whole group had been in an uproar since Bethany had been wounded.

Be confident Merrill, say you would love to.

'I…um…I could do… that." She stammered, wishing she could be as confident as Hawke or Isabela around men. Creators Aveline was better at this than she, and Aveline was a wreck, "It would be nice to have you in me…I mean some food in me with you, not that someone wouldn't… I'll shut up now." The Dalish turned bright scarlet.

Creators help me; I did not just say that!

Alim blushed, but he did his best to ignore her little slip.

"That's good." The elf enchanter smiled, "I…I will see you at breakfast then."

"Oh-Okay…Dareth Shirel."

He left then thank goodness, Creators why could she not speak with the calm strength that Marethari had used to. She was a Grey Warden now, a fearless slayer of Darkspawn, and once a First to a Keeper. By the Elvhen, why was she such a clueless cow?

"I think he likes you," a voice said weakly.

Merrill looked down at the bed. The circle mage was awake; her honey brown eyes regarded Merrill with amusement, her lip quirked with a slight smile.

"Bethany!" the Dalish exclaimed throwing her arms around the mages shoulders, "Oh lethallan, we were so worried. Praise the creators, how are you feeling? Is there anything I can do? Do you want water, food? I can…"

"You can slow down Merrill." Bethany chided.

"Oh right…sorry." The Dalish said sheepishly.

Bethany sighed trying to sit up, she felt stiff and well…sour, like she had been enduring some long sickness.

"Where am I?'

"The Orzammar Circle, we brought you here three days ago. You were…"

Bethany's eyes widened, three days she had been unconscious for three days!

"The mages have been very helpful. " Merrill continued, her voice dropped conspiratorially "but Justin thinks it would be wise not to mention the fact you are from the Kirkwall Circle just in case you know."

"Is Justin here?"

"The circle sent him away after the second day; he was very upset that it was taking so long to help you. We have been taking turns since then. I don't think he ate or slept at all those first two days."

Justin was worried about me.

The thought made Bethany feel warm. She was sorry for scaring him, but to know that he cared that much.

"I'll go get Alim…I mean Enchanter Surana," Merrill said backing towards the door, "We will see if we can get some food brought for you. Don't go anywhere, not that you would in your condition, but in case…I'm rambling again sorry. I'll be back."

Bethany lay back with a heavy sigh. Three days, Maker help her. She had known she had poisoned the moment it had happened, but there had been nothing she could do. Her lungs had begun to seize up almost immediately, and her heart had begun to race. She had had no time to prepare even the most basic healing spell. Everything had gone dark.

Bethany had thought that she was going to die.

She remembered hearing voices distant and panicked, but found herself unable to respond. She felt as if she was floating away. Part of her wasn't even afraid; it would be good to lay down her burdens at long last.

That is when she had dream.

IOI

The place was familiar to her; it had been her home for ten years. The little farm house in Lothering was a place that she had missed desperately her first year in Kirkwall.

She was sitting at their old dinner table, one of Father's magic books sat in front of her. Many an evening she had fallen asleep reading in this chair, trying with all her might to grasp some new spell or another.

"Hello sweetheart."

The voice made her heart ache; she had not heard it in over four years.

The voice of Leandra Amell Hawke.

Mother.

She jumped from the table and embraced the older woman. Her eyes filling with joyful tears.

"Darling, what is this for?" her Mother chuckled, a smile on her care worn face.

"Oh mother," Bethany sobbed, there was so much to say, "I've missed you so much. I'm sorry about the circle. I never wanted to hurt you. I'm sorry I wasn't there to save you. I…"

"Hush darling," Leandra said warmly, "I never blamed you. Never. You did the best with what you had, so much like your father. I was always proud of you, both of you. I'm sorry I never got the chance to tell you that."

Bethany wiped at the free flowing tears, "Is Father here with you? Is Carver?

"We are never far from you my heart?"

She smiled, "I am happy that you're with me here at the end."

Leandra gave her a knowing smile.

"This is not the end sweetheart," she said, "You still have much to do, but know that we are with you. You are not alone in this."

She had been surprised, "I'm not dead?"

"No sweetheart."

Bethany was not sure if she should be grateful or sad.

Leandra broke their embrace, a touch of sadness in her face for the first time, "You must be strong darling, the trials ahead will test you more that you can imagine. Just remember that you are not alone.

"I know Mother. I-I have Justin here with me. He wi…"

Leandra gave her a concerned look.

"Justin Oslin, Justin Oslin is helping you?'

Bethany nodded.

"Maker's breath dear I hope you know what you are doing."

Bethany suppressed a giggle, there was the Mother she knew and loved.

Leandra had opened the door then heading outside into the blinding light.

Bethany squinted, "Mother wait…"

"Good bye dear. We will meet again."

The blinding light surrounded her.

That is when she looked up and saw Merrill standing over her.

She was still alive.

The trials ahead will test you more than you can imagine.

You are not alone.

Whatever happened in the coming days Bethany would not falter. She would do everything in her power to help Justin complete his mission. Knight-Commander Delance had to be stopped. Marian would not back down and neither would she.

She was Malcolm and Leandra Hawke's daughter; she had faced demon, darkspawn, and Templars. She was not afraid to do what must be done.

It was the only way she would ever be safe.