It was time for yet another day of competition at the Disney World Games.
In Fantasyland in the Magic Kingdom, Bert and Mary Poppins were riding on Cinderella's Magic Carousel.
"Oh! Hey there, gents and welcome back to the Disney World Games! That there is Mary Poppins, so I must be Bert! And we are ready for day 7 And Pops, with only thirteen days left, how will the competitors improve their game?" Bert asked.
"Well your guess is as good as mine, Bert, but like I said before, I believe we will see a sort of hot potato for the top spot on the board, but like I also said, it will be pretty tough to catch up with the dominating teams Hawaii and Villainy," said Mary.
"Well let's say we find out?" asked Bert.
"Quite right," answered Mary. "Today, there will be four events; two here in the Magic Kingdom, and two in Disney's Animal Kingdom. Let's now go to Ludwig Von Drake in Tomorrowland for our first event. Drake?"
In Tomorrowland, Drake stood in front of the entrance to Monstropolis.
"Yes, Ms. Poppins, thank you," said Drake. "I'm standing here at the entrance to Monstropolis where earlier, our competitors entered, and where the sight of our next competition will be. But this event will test our competitors like never before. It will test their cunning, their skill, and their quick thinking. Only the greatest mind will emerge from this victorious. Today, our competitors will compete in...a joke-off!"
Joke-Off
One competitor from each team will have 5 minutes come up with the funniest jokes possible. Monsters Mike and Sulley will be the judges. The one with the highest points wins.
1st Place
7 points
2nd Place
6 points
3rd Place
5 points
4th Place
4 points
5th Place
3 points
6th Place
2 points
7th Place
1 point
The Laugh Floor Comedy Club was packed with monsters. At the front tables, the competitors sat.
"Representing Team Kitty, Thomas O'Malley! Representing Team Rodent, Olivia! Representing Team Neverland, John! Representing Team Rover, Tito! Representing Team Hawaii, Lilo! Representing Team Princess, Rapunzel! Representing Team Prince, Naveen! Representing Team Toy, Rex! Representing Team Flyer, Wilbur! Representing Team Fairy, Silvermist! Representing Team Beast, Lumiere! Representing Team Hundred Acre Wood, Tigger! Representing Team China, Mushu! Representing Team Agrabah, Genie! Representing Team Pixar, Chicken Little! Representing Team Pride Lands, Timon! Representing Team Dwarf, Sneezy! Representing Team Jungle, Baloo! Representing Team Villainy, Mother Gothel! And representing Team Disney, Donald!" said the announcer.
A purple two-headed monster approached the stage. "Good evening, monsters and monsterettes, and welcome to a very special edition of the Laugh Floor Comedy Club! Tonight, we have our competitors from the Disney World Games here with us and they will attempt to bust our guts and tickle our fancies, so why don't we give em a hand!" the monster said.
The monsters in the club applauded.
The host monster continued. "So without further ado, let me introduce our first jokester, Baloo the Bear!"
Baloo stepped on stage and grabbed his microphone. "Hey! What's goin' on Monstropolis? You know, I was rompin through the jungle when I happen upon this fine lookin grizzly, man did she have the bear nessessities. She all that and a bunch of prickly pears. So I introduced myself and we got to talkin, turned out we had a lot in common, that is until I found her little secret...turned out she was a country bear! Yeah, Critter County and all! The girl was so country, she thought the song, "On the Road Again," was about another trip to the slaughterhouse! Heh, heh, heh...man...and...and the gas! Man! That chicky bear could light up a cave on the darkest side of the jungle. I thought I was gunna have ta burn off my own nose! And her breath was so bad, when she took a drink in the river, all the fish died! And she wasn't really the brightest either. She was so dumb, she mistook a vulture for an elephant! Now I know what Yogi means when he says, "Smarter than the average bear!"
Baloo's time was up. The audience laughed good enough. Mike and Sulley gave Baloo their scores.
Baloo
Mike- 6 Sulley- 7
13
The monster host appeared. "Alright! Let's give it up for Baloo the Bear!" he said.
The audience applauded as Baloo took his seat.
"And now, monsters and gentlemen, our next jokester, from Team Toy, he is the cardboard Carnosaur, the plastic pterodactyl, the miniature mastodon, let's hear it for Rex!" the monster host announced.
The crowd applauded as Rex came onto the stage. Given his small size, he was given a stool to be closer to the microphone.
"Greetings, Monstropolis!" Rex began. "Uh...knock knock."
"Who's there?" the audience asked.
"Orange," Rex said.
"Orange who?" the audience asked.
"Orange you glad to see me?!" Rex said.
The crowd just sat silent.
"Ok, um...there was this dinosaur, a pig, and a horse...they were playing together. They were playing a game of...Duck, Duck, Goose, but what the dinosaur didn't know was that when you chase the goose, you don't eat it, heh heh, yeah, he had to look for some new friends after that. Why did the dinosaur cross the road? To get to his dinner on the other side! And what about that Barney, huh? Purple? PURPLE!? A purple dinosaur?! Next thing you know, they'll have something like...a blue triceratops or something."
Rex's time was up.
Rex
Mike- 2 Sulley- 2
4
"OK! That was Rex!" the monster host said.
The audience applauded as Rex took his seat.
"Now put your hands and claws together for that street-wise alley cat, all the way from Team Kitty, Thomas O'Malley!" the monster host said.
The crowd applauded as Thomas took the stage.
The microphone lower to adjust to Thomas' height.
"Hey, hey! What's the buzz, Monstropolis? It's great to be here tonight! You know the other night, me and my boys were scatting the night away and we spotted the milk man drivin' by. So me and my boys decided to get a little drink. We carted about half a dozen jugs off the guys and went back to enjoy our spoils. And then one of my guys said it tasted a bit funny, so I take a look at the jug and it says, "1%" and realize that was the problem and another of my guys ask what's the big deal about 1% and I say, "2% makes brownies taste better." Let me ask ya'll something, what is it with dogs drinking from the toilet? They're drinking in the same place where their owners do their business and do they even know where that water has been?! Instead of drinking from, why don't you actually use it instead of every single place under the sun. You know how many times I walked through the alleys and found at least one 'little present' lying around? And what's with the fur? Those things are like 5 star hotels for fleas. I could make Cruella an ocean of fur coats from the shag carpeting on those guys. And those droopy ears! Hey guys, if you're trying to imitate Mickey Mouse, the ears go up, not down."
Thomas' time was up.
Thomas O'Malley
Mike- 7 Sulley- 6
13
Thomas went back to his seat as the monster host arrived.
"Give it up for Thomas O'Malley!" the monster host said. "Now, monsters and gentlemen, from Team Hundred Acre Wood, he's a bouncy feline and is the only one of his kind! Here's Tigger!"
Tigger bounced onto the stage as the audience applauded. He then grabbed the microphone and began.
"Hoo hoo hoo hooooo! I just bounced in from the Hunded Aker Woods and I gotta tell ya, I was bouncing over to old Long Ears' house and he was wearing this funny hat that had funny green feathers on it. It made him look like some kind of bird. And let me tell ya somethin' else, ole Bunny Boy's feet are HUGE. Hoo! He could stamp out a cabin fire with those things. And Piglet, boy, is he short. I looked around for him one day, but wasn't able to find him...until I realized he was right under me. And he is so pink, he makes a strawberry look like an apple. And then there's Eeyore. That guy is so gloomy, he could make a rainy day look like sunshine. And then there's Pooh. Boy can he pack in the honey or what! I bet he has a honey jar for his honey jars. Is that fluff in him or honey fat?"
Tigger's time was up.
Tigger
Mike- 4 Sulley- 5
9
As Tigger went back to his seat, the monster host came back.
"Alright! That was Tigger ladies and gentlemonsters! Glad he IS the only one. Now next up for our joke off is a fire-breathing dragon from the land of the chicken chow mien, representing Team China, Mushu!" said the host.
Mushu also needed a stool to speak on the microphone.
"What's crackin, Monstropolis?! It's your main dragon, Mushu, and I'm about to lay some gut bustin' jokes for ya'll tonight. OK, why did the dragon get punished by his parents? He was telling tall TAILS! When is a dragon not a dragon? When it's a drag-OFF! OK, you have five dragons in your home and you take two, what have you got left? A lesser a chance to have to call the fire department! The other, Mulan tried making chicken and she insisted that I tried, so I gave it a tried and boy was it spicy! Now I know why they call it "kung-POW" chicken! My breath was singin' a lot of houses that day."
Mushu's time was up.
Mushu
Mike- 6 Sulley- 5
11
Mushu went back to his seat as the monster host came back on stage.
"Give it up for Mushu, monsters and gentlemen! Now next up in our joke-off is a smooth-talkin' candelabra who will light up any woman's day if they ask nice enough, *wink* *wink* Give it up for Lumiere of Team Beast!" the host said.
The crowd applauded for Lumiere as he made his way onto the stage and the stool.
Lumiere began. "Greetings friends, it is I, Lumiere! I hope I don't come up...SHORT of this joke-off. One day, I was roaming through the castle one night when I happened upon Cogsworth. He was upset because Mrs. Potts had taken the last slice of cake and I said to him, "Cogsworth relax, you need to unwind a bit." I mean I wasn't trying to tick him off, so I decided to make him dinner. Can you guess what it was? Hickory smoked ham! The next, day, me and Mrs. Potts were having tea and Mrs. Potts says to me, "Lumiere, nice weather we are having." And I say, "Yes it is. Nice and bright." And Mrs. Potts says, "You're looking extra shiny today. I must say it's the best you've ever looked." And then I said, "Why Mrs. Potts, correct me if I'm wrong, but I sounds as if you are pouring yourself out to me." And later that day, I swept Fifi off her feet, right after she swept the floor of course."
Lumiere's time was up.
Lumiere
Mike- 4 Sulley- 5
9
The monster host returned as Lumiere went back to his seat.
"Monsters and gentlemen, Lumiere. Well he is certainly not a candela-bore, right?! Yeah right...Now let's welcome our next jokester, all the way from the blazing hot, sunny hills of Africa, representing Team Pride Lands, that mildly marvelous meerkat, Timon!" said the host.
The crowd applauded for Timon who got up on the stool on stage.
Timon began. "Evening, folks! I just swung by from the other side of the jungle, the side known as Snail's Kitchen. Trust me, you do not want to say the wrong thing down there. I heard once that a warthog once tore apart a Zebra for taking the slightest blade of his grass...oh wait, that was Pumbaa. Speakin'a which, the odor on that guy is killer! That warthog smells so bad, skunks wear masks to protect their noses from him. And he is so big that when we went to see Simba being born, he sat next to everyone! How fat is he? He's so fat, his butt needs its own zip code! How fat is he? He's so fat, an elephant once looked at him and said, "Mr., you need to lose weight."
Timon's time was up.
Timon
Mike- 8 Sulley- 9
17
Timon returned to his seat as the monster host came back on stage.
"Monsters and gentlemen, give it up for Timon! Our next jokester comes to us from jolly old England! Let's just her jokes are as jolly. Monsters and gentlemen, here is Olivia from Team Rodent!" the host announced.
The crowd cheered as Olivia sat on the stool on stage.
Olivia began. "Um...hello everyone...my name is Olivia Flabbersham and..."
And Olivia ran off out of Monstropolis.
Olivia
Mike- 0 Sulley- 0
0
The monster host returned.
"Well...that was...awkward...uh...anyway, let's go to our next jokester, she's a cute little fairy from Pixie Hollow whose mind is not always in the right place, but her heart definitely is! Please welcome, Silvermist from Team Fairy!" said the host.
Silvermist flew over to the stool on stage as the crowd applauded.
Silvermist began. "Hello everyone. Um...knock, knock."
"Who's there?" the audience asked.
"Orange," Silvermist said.
"Orange who?" the audience asked.
"Orange you glad I didn't say banana?! Oh wait that's been done before. OK, um...what did the blue ribbon become after it got caught in the rain? A rainbow! Um...why did the mouse get a job at the restaurant? Because he knew how to cut the cheese! Um...what di the boss say to his employee who was a fish on the beach after he was once again late for his job? He said, "You're all washed up!"
Silvermist's time was up.
Silvermist
Mike- 5 Sulley- 5
10
Silvermist flew back to her seat as the monster host came back on stage.
"Silvermist, everybody. I think we have a second STAR to the right! Now let's welcome our next jokester, he is the big blue bomber with 1001 way to bust your gut, representing Team Agrabah, here's Genie!" said the host.
Genie quickly made his way on stage to an applauding audience.
Genie began. "Good afternoon, monsters and gentlemen, or is it morning? Or evening? With a monster, you can't tell, they probably just eat their alarm clock before it works. But seriously, it's great to be here in Monstropolis, except one day I was walking on the street and I saw this monster rob a store. He being chased by a policemonster. The police guy says, "Freeze, dirtbag! You can't escape the long arm of the law!" The funny thing was that he actually had long arms. Seriously, those things stretched out as far as the eye could see! And here I thought Iago was the one who always stretched things out. One day I went into a computer store and see this monster messing around on one of the computers. Suddenly, the computer got a virus and he had to pay for it. I guess he a real cookie monster. I once ran into this female monster who I think was eying mean and I do mean "Eye-ing" because she had only one eye! I guess you really can't turn a blind eye to love, especially if you have one eye."
Genie's time was up.
Genie
Mike- 9 Sulley- 10
19
Genie made his way back to his seat as the monster host arrived again.
"Put your hands, claws, and tentacles together for the Genie! Now our next jokester is a little Chihuahua from the bad side of New York (which is saying a lot considering its New York), from Team Rover, here's Tito!" said the host.
Tito ran on stage and sat the stool as the audience cheered.
Tito began. However the audience couldn't understand him because he was speaking in Spanish. By the time his time had ended, it was all in Spanish.
Tito
Mike- 0 Sulley- 0
0
Tito awkwardly went back to his seat and the monster came back.
"Ay carumba! Well next up on our joke off is a tiny cluckster who always says the sky is falling. Well let's hope you all fall for him, from Team Pixar, he is Chicken Little!" said the host,
Chicken Little nervously came on stage and stood on the stool, staring out to the cheering audience.
Chicken Little began. "Uh...hey guys...yo,,what up my peeps. And speaking of peeps, what about those things. I mean whoever came with the idea of making chicken into marshmallows? Weeeeeeiiiiirrrrd! Next I supposed they'll be making chocolate bunnies. Heh heh. Speaking of Easter, you will not believe the grind time that my family members have to go through every year producing eggs for that bunny. I mean it's the same thing every year, we lay eggs, he takes them, puts on his fancy colors and hides them for kids to find and if they don't find them, they get all smelly. If you ask me, that's a waste of perfectly good butt power. If rabbits could lay eggs, I'd like to see the Easter bunny try laying so many at time and see if he'll be able to sit down for at least a month."
Chicken Little's time was up.
Chicken Little
Mike- 4 Sulley- 5
9
Chicken Little quickly went back to his seat as the monster host came back.
"The jokes are falling, the jokes are falling! I'm almost ready to pour a gallon of bleach in my mouth! Well to continue this torture, monsters and gentlemen, he's a fun-lovin' banjo-strumming, high life-livin' playboy from across the sea, the frog prince himself, from Team Prince, Prince Naveen of Maldonia!" the monster host said.
The audience applauded as Naveen made his way onto the stage.
Naveen began. "Good evening my friends. What is the best thing a man can experience? The answer is marriage! That is until he actually gets married. But seriously, folks, one day when I was strolling down New Orleans, playing my banjo, I came across this lady who asked me if I knew what time it was. So I checked my and before I could tell her what time it was, she said, 'time for you to get some talent!' Yeah, she wasn't the most clever old lady I'd ever met. One time, me and Tiana were on a cruise down the bayou and we were at the buffet table and there was this big bowl of gravy. Well, me and Tiana were eating and then this guy rushes past us and nearly knocks me down and knocks Tiana back and her face falls into the bowl of gravy! She ended up with a gravy beard! As a little touch, I added a mashed potato mustache!"
Naveen's time was up.
Naveen
Mike- 6 Sulley- 6
12
The monster arrived as Naveen returned to his seat.
"Prince Naveen, monsters and gentlemen! Our next joker is the largest bird you'll ever find (but don't take that the wrong way), from Team Flyer, here's Wilbur!" the monster host said.
The audience applauded as Wilbur made his way onto the stage.
Wilbur began. "HEY! How you monsters doin?! I gotta tell ya, it's great to be here! It's great to be here as long as none of you act MONSTEROUS! AHAHA! But hey, I love ya! After the show, we'll have a MONSTER of a good time! AHAHAHAHAAA! You know, this morning, I decided to have breakfast here in Monstropolis and I see this monster having some coffee. So the monster starts drinking the coffee, right? Well faster than you can poke a million eyeballs out, he's spiting the coffee out of his belly! Now I've heard coffee can sometimes go through you, but that is just ridiculous! AHAHAA! And I've heard that two heads are better than one, but three heads are triple the fun! AHAHAA!"
Wilbur's time was up.
Wilbur
Mike- 6 Sulley- 7
13
Wilbur flew back to his seat as the monster host arrived.
"Let's give it up for Wilbur! *cause Lord knows I've given up* Next on our joke-off is a young woman who can go the distance, particularly because of how far she can stretch her mile-long locks! Representing Team Princess, the lovely Rapunzel!" the monster host said.
Rapunzel made her way onto the stage as the audience applauded.
Rapunzel began. "Um...hello...everyone..heh heh. It's uh...great to be here, say, did you here the one about the...crab...in the...monkey suit? Really, what is up with a crab in a monkey suit? That's just weird...*clears throat* Or, or, um...how bout the one with the turkey and the...dog and the...watermelon...boy what a night that was..."
Rapunzel's time was up
Rapunzel
Mike- 0 Sulley- 0
0
Rapunzel went back to her seat in embarrassment as the monster host arrived.
"Rapunzel, monsters and gentlemen. (somebody please shoot me) Next up, representing Team Neverland, is a young lad from the land of tea and crumpets. I don't want to rain on his parade, due to the fact that I can't because he's always carrying an umbrella, here's John!" the monster host said.
John made his way on stage as the audience applauded.
John began.
"Well hello everyone...one day while me and Wendy and Michael were in Neverland and saw Tinkerbell flying by. We decided to follow her and then we saw that she accidentally stepped in some strange brown liquid of some kind. So then Peter Pan comes in and sees Tinkerbell and he says, "Tink, did you let one again?" Yeah, that's not the first time she's done it. And then there was the time me and Michael were playing in the Indian encampment. One of the Indians was playing with Michael and says to him, "Hey kid, what do an Indian and a clock have in common?" Michael asked 'what?' and the Indian said, 'An Indian and time are both something you wanna keep your eyes out for!"
John's time was up.
John
Mike- 3 Sulley- 2
5
John went back to his seat as the monster host returned.
"Give it up for John! Next up on our joke-off is a little girl from a little island, but with a big nose! With that ample-sized honker, she could leave me in stitches, which just so happens to be the name of her pet. Representing Team Hawaii, give it up for Lilo!" the monster host said.
The audience applauded for Lilo as she made her way on stage.
Lilo began. "Hi, my name's Lilo and I'm ready to make you laugh like crazy! What's big, ugly, and has no feet? Ursula! Man! This moomoo! I can't do anything with it! So I went to the doctor's one day with Nani and the doctor asks, 'what's the matter?" and I said, "doc, I'm sweating like a pig.' and then the doctor says, 'then you must have swine flu.' What do you call Nani late at night? A nightmare! Jack be nimble, Jack be quick, Pleakley's as skinny as a candlestick!"
Lilo's time was up.
Lilo
Mike- 6 Sulley- 6
12
Lilo returned to her seat with confidence as the monster host came back.
"Lilo, monsters and gents! Next up is one fowl-tempered fowl. Don't make him mad cause this quack is crazy. Representing Team Disney, Donald Duck!" said the monster host.
The audience applauded as Donald came on stage.
Donald began. He tried to tell a few jokes, but no one could understand a word he was saying. This went on and on until his time ran out.
Donald Duck
Mike- 0 Sulley- 0
0
In a tantrum, Donald went back to his seat as the monster host returned.
"Donald Duck, monsters and gents! And now onto our next jokester (though she can't be a bigger joke than anybody else who's been on here) representing Team Villainy, Mother Gothel!" the monster host said.
The crowd booed as Mother Gothel came on stage.
Gothel began...then she just walked off.
Mother Gothel
Mike- 0 Sulley- 0
0
Gothel went back to her seat as the monster host came back.
"Oh no! Don't leave! We want more!" the monster host said sarcastically. "And now we go to our final jokester (thank God), he's a diminutive dwarf who always has an upbeat attitude, but hopefully, not a downbeat sense of humor, here's Happy!"
The audience applauded as Happy came on stage.
Happy began. He tried to tell some jokes, but he immediately felt a sense of nervousness. He tried taking a deep breath, but it didn't help. The butterflies in his stomach felt like large eagles. Finally, the pressure in his body built up so much, that it caused him to fart uncontrollably. Mike and Sulley laughed their socks off.
Happy
Mike- 10 Sulley- 10
20
Happy returned to his seat as the monster host came back.
"Well that just about does it for our joke-off! Let's a big hand...or claw...for our jokesters! I'm your monster host and we will see again next time here at the Laugh Floor Comedy Club!" the monster host said.
Results
Happy- 20
Genie- 19
Timon- 17
Wilbur- 13
Thomas O'Malley- 13
Baloo- 13
Lilo- 12
Naveen- 12
Mushu- 11
Silvermist- 10
Chicken Little- 9
Lumiere- 9
Tigger- 9
John- 5
Rex- 4
Oliver- 0
Mother Gothel- 0
Rapunzel- 0
Donald Duck- 0
Tito- 0
Results
Happy- 7 points
Genie- 6 points
Timon- 5 points
Wilbur- 4 points
Thomas O'Malley- 4 points
Baloo- 4 points
Lilo- 3 points
Naveen- 3 points
Mushu- 2 points
Silvermist- 1 points
Chicken Little- 0 points
Lumiere- 0 points
Tigger- 0 points
John- 0 points
Rex- 0 points
Oliver- 0 points
Mother Gothel- 0 points
Rapunzel- 0 points
Donald Duck- 0 points
Tito- 0 points
Standings
Team Hawaii- 24
Team Villainy- 21
Team Jungle- 16
Team Hundred Acre Wood- 14
Team Flyer- 13
Team Dwarf- 13
Team Neverland- 12
Team China- 11
Team Fairy- 10
Team Kitty- 10
Team Pride Lands- 10
Team Toy- 10
Team Disney- 10
Team Agrabah- 9
Team Princess- 7
Team Rover- 7
Team Pixar- 7
Team Prince- 5
Team Rodent- 4
Team Beast- 2
In the Magic Kingdom, Bert and Mary were now riding the Tommorowland Speedway.
"Well, Pops, with just a minimal of three points, Team Hawaii has once again taken the lead from the clutches of Team Villainy," said Bert.
"Indeed, it seems that Team Hawaii still manages to be the biggest threat to the villainous team. One can only guess what they will do once again regain the lead they have possesed for so long," said Mary.
"Well with that competition out of the way, let's now go to Ludwig Von Drake with our next competition!" said Bert.