Xander sat on the hillside. A soft breeze was blowing on his face and Neen Phi sat across from him. For years he had been teaching meditation to man and beast. Xander wasn't' sure if this was going to help him to control his powers but he was willing to try anything. Neen Phi sat embraced held his wrist. "Remember child our life force is connected to everything."

Xander drew in the deep breath his eyes closed. He visualized himself in a warm safe happy place. He felt happy and felt at peace. Neen Phi had started working with Xander to help him get in touch with the power. With the meditation came a certain amount of control. He didn't feel like a gun that could go off at any moment. Neen Phi smiled. "Open your eyes and return slowly. Find yourself and find your happiness." Xander slowly opened his eyes and had to admit he felt at peace. Xander let go of a deep breath and bowed his head in gratitude. "Thank you."

The eldery Tibetan monk looked to Xander. "You have come very far in short time. You will win this battle." Xander said no words he just heard footsteps approaching.

Xander knew the meditation was over. He rolled up his meditation matt. "I will see you tomorrow." Neen Phi nodded and headed down the hill and back to the school. Xander stood up watching as Willow came to him.

"How are you feeling?"

He shrugged. "Better mostly. I mean the meditation isn't a long term solution but it's helping for now."

"That's good."

"You didn't come here to talk mediation."

"Now that you mention it I am your best friend and I have to get all my gossip second hand. That's not right Xander."

"Not sure what you are talking about."

"Like hell you don't. You kissed Buffy."

"She tell you that?"

"You don't worry about where I heard it. I just want to know if it's true."

Xander looked reluctant to answer. "There might be a shade of some truth to the rumor."

"That explains why Angel so cranky lately."

Xander couldn't help but laugh. "Been there done that."

"So?"

"So what?"

"Details was it good. Was it a bomb? Are you two going to be together?"

"Not a lot of details to give. I kissed her and she kissed back. Then Angel walked in and kind of buzz killed the moment. Since then we haven't really talked about it. It is like the elephant in the room."

"What do you mean you haven't talked about it?"

"I mean we have been pretending it hasn't happened."

Willow groaned in disapproval. "You are killing me here Harris."

"What would you do?"

"Here's what I know for sure. You love Buffy. You have like forever. Now she is in to you and you are in to her and you are just going to pretend your first kiss didn't happen."

"You put it that way it does sound kind of cowardly."

"Kind of?"

"Will I have had a whole lot on my plate lately."

"You are worried about the new healing power?"

"Yesterday I had a slayer approach me and ask me to heal her finger cause it got a sliver. A sliver Willow really."

"Okay well that is an issue maybe you should address. Let the slayers know you aren't some sort of Johnson and Johnson for their beck and call."

"But."

"Honestly I think you are using this as an excuse. You are looking for a reason not to deal with what you are feeling with Buffy cause you are afraid. You are being a bit of a coward."

"There is the supporto gal we all know and love."

"You want support get yourself a cane. You want the truth come talk to me."

He shrugged. "I guess I can't put it off any longer."

"What does that mean?"

"It means I will see you later."

Willow cocked her head curious. "Are you going to talk to her?" Xander just smiled his trademark lopsided grin and walked away saying nothing. Willow looked at him furious. "You can't do this to me."

In the gym Buffy was taking down the mannequin targets the girls had used for crossbow practice. On a bored Saturday afternoon Dawn had taken to painting fangs and beady red eyes on all the mock vampire targets. Buffy held a mannequin under each arm ready to lock them in storage. She struggled trying to open the door not having a free hand. Angel stood behind her. "Can I help you with that?"

He grabbed one of the targets out from under her freeing the arm. "Thank you Angel."

"So does our not so life like friend here have a name."

Buffy pulled open the storage door and put the dummy inside. "I think mine is Count Chocula and you have The Count."

Angel handed her the dummy. "You mean like the guy who loves numbers."

"Pretty much."

Angel just laughed shaking his head. "As fun as vampire dummy's are I came here to talk to you about something."

Buffy turned around back in to the gym to grab a few more. "Well talk away Angel." She grabbed another dummy while Angel grabbed one.

"It's just that I feel like I walked in on something and now that I know I have to."

Buffy stopped in her tracks and turned around. "Angel what you saw happen between Xander and me is between Xander and me."

Angel set the dummy down and crossed his arms. "Maybe I have motives for having this conversation with you. I'm not going to lie. We both have feelings for each other and that could cloud judgment I have. Still though there are things that I'm not sure you are taking in to account."

Buffy turned around ready to walk away. "I'm not doing this Angel."

"Just listen Buffy. I don't want to see you hurt and the truth is we don't know how this thing with Xander is going to end. What if."

"Stop it."

"Xander himself has said that there might come a time where we have to find a way to contain him or even."

"STOP." She knew he was right but she didn't want to hear it.

"I don't want to see you hurt again. I don't want to see you go through"

Buffy stepped to him angry. "I know what you want Angel. You don't want me to get close to anyone that isn't you."

"You think that's what this is about."

"You talk about the pain I would feel if I lost Xander. Are you really so narrow minded to think that pain is going to be any less if I lose him as a friend or a lover."

"Lover?'

"Angel I don't know what my future is. I know for a long time I've been feeling something for Xander. Maybe longer than I realized, I don't know what that means for me or him or the future."

"I just."

"What ever future Xander and I have together it's going to be decided by Xander and I."

"So you are going to be together."

Buffy was now frustrated. She ran a hand through her hair. "Yes Xander and I will always be together. Just like Willow and I or Dawn or Giles or you and Spike. That doesn't mean the dynamic of a relationship can't or won't change."

"I'm just looking out for you. I'm"

Buffy turned to him. "Maybe it's time I find out what it is." She looked at Angel. "Finish putting these dummies away. I got to go see someone."

Before Angel could say anything Buffy was gone out the gym door. Angel sighed and went back to the dummies picking them up. He grumbled picking one up and noticed a small name tag Dawn had painted on the breast of one it read. "HI! My name is Angel please Shoot Me"

Angel grumbled picking the dummy up. "Doesn't look anything like me."

10 minutes earlier

Xander carried his yoga matt under his arm on his way to his room. He was going to put it away but stopped as he saw Spike sitting at his door. "If you are here to sell Girl scout cookies put me down for a box of thin mints."

Spike popped to his feet. "Fresh out. Guess I won't be going to the girl scout jamboree."

Xander pulled out his key to his room unlocking the door. "What do you want?"

"So you and Buffy were snogging."

Xander turned around making a disgusted face. "First off I am hip to most of your British speak but don't say snogging. It's a very disgusting word nothing pretty about it at all. It sounds like something a hog with a runny nose would do."

"It means.."

"I know what it means Spike. I'm not going to discuss any of that with you."

"Well take it from a guy who is a card carrying member of the I kissed Buffy club you have to tread lightly."

Xander stepped in to his room and put his matt away. "Hey remember that time I asked you for advice about my love life. Yeah me neither."

"Look Xander I know we aren't friends but that doesn't mean I can't give you a heads up."

Xander laughed and shook his head. He just looked down laughing. "A heads up like you gave Riley all those years ago. Of course you know what is best for Buffy."

"What I'm going to tell you is going to hurt but you need to hear it."

"Remember Spike I am stronger than you now and I don't really have to listen to anything you say."

"Actually you do. I mean you can close the door on me if you want but I'm pretty sure with those fancy super powers I can stand down the hall and you'll still hear what I have to say,"

"Not if you don't have any lips to speak."

Spike rolled his eyes. "Just think about this. I have always said Buffy is a creature of darkness. She needs the dark. She can't be with Joe normal. That is why her and Riley failed miserably."

"If that is the case Spike then I guess I'm up to bat cause I'm just oooozing power here. It's like power-palooza up in here."

Spike smirked and shook his head. "You still don't get it." He laughed.

"Get what?"

"Don't you find it funny that Buffy could have been with you for the last 10 years but she didn't. She didn't make a move on you. She didn't look at you. She didn't think of you until you got super sized." Xander opened his mouth to say something but stopped. "What I say I don't say to be harsh but a part of you has to wonder is it the power she is in love with. If you were just normal Xander Harris again would we even be having this conversation?"

Xander sighed and leaned against the doorframe. "Wow you did it. You got to me."

Spike looked confused and surprised. "I did?"

Xander nodded. "I don't think I can be with her now."

"Really?"

"Oh wait I have a brain. You think I don't see you coming a mile away. Your little manipulation telling me that you are looking out for me."

"I am."

"What you do is you look for a little crack in the relationship than you work your way in to the crack. You take a little self doubt and turn that crack in to a canyon. You did it to Riley."

"Oh come on you know Buffy wasn't right for Finn."

"You know what the difference between you and me is. Yeah I might have deep down been jealous of Riley but I put it aside because I put Buffy's happiness first."

"You were just as happy to see Riley go as me."

"No I wasn't. I knew Buffy would be hurt. While you were working on destroying them I did everything I could to fix what you screwed up." Spike rolled his eyes "It's true Spike. She chased that helicopter and if she had gotten there sooner who knows what would have happened."

"Say what you want. Believe what you want but I am only looking out for you."

Xander laughed and walked past him in to the hallway again. He pulled his door shut locking it. "You are looking out for yourself."

"Xander."

"Cause if you can't have Buffy, well no one should."

"Xander that isn't what this is about."

"You know what I was going to go talk with the slayers and let them know I setting up guidelines for my powers but I think can wait. I have to talk to Buffy first. So thank you."

"Thank me?"

"You lit the fire under my ass and I'm going to tell her how I really feel."

"But"

"Later Spike."

Xander started down the hall and to Buffy's room. As he walked down the main corridor he spotted her from the other side. She saw him almost as quick. She called out to him.

"Xander I need to talk to you"

He made his way to her smiling. "I was just looking for you,"

They met in the middle and Buffy just spat it out. "I know we have this huge thing that we are avoiding talking about."

"I don't' want to avoid it anymore."

Buffy nodded. "Me neither. I want to figure out what it meant."

Xander took her hand. "I made excuses in my head saying I need to figure out the power thing and who I am but I am sick of excuses. I don't want to wait anymore."

"What ever happens I want us to be the one to choose. It's not going to be Angel."

"Or Spike."

"I've been so afraid for so long because you are my best friend and my rock and change can be scary but sometimes change can be exactly what you need. As much as you might want to stick with things one way cause they are comfortable.."

"Comfortable is for pajamas. Sometimes you have to take a chance."

"And my big chance is telling you I think I'm in love with you."

"I'm not sure if I ever really stopped."

"I " But the time for words was over he slinked his arm around her waist and kissed her soft and sweetly holding her for what seemed like forever.

Lurking at the end of the hallway Spike and Angel just watched. Spike looked at him. "Anyone ever tell you that your battle plans suck."

"Spike."

Spike's voice laced with sarcasm "First the whole attack in the field. Oh what can go wrong Spike. I'm sure firing a rocket launcher at him will work just fine."

"Spike."

"Than the whole you talk to Buffy and I talk to Xander. Then it ends with them making out in the hallway."

Angel rolled his eyes. "It's your fault. Xander should have been the easy one."

"Spike turned around "Your plans suck. Seriously what was your back up plan? Starve Buffy for 3 days and dip Xander in a pool of chocolate."

Angel just grumbled walking away. "Shut up Spike."