Okay you guys wanted the epilogue and here it is. This is how I wanted the story to end.

Again, thanks for staying with me through this journey

Dedications: chillywinterbreeze, pryde23, EdlundCarver, angels182

Epilogue:

Castiel had found himself in a fairly pleasant routine. It had been 14 months since he left Dean and started again in a new town. He moved on from the first job he had which was a barista and moved on to being a receptionist at a local veterinary clinic.

He got a pet cat, she was a beautiful calico missing her front foot. He had her for a year and he absolutely loved her. She was a very cuddly cat and made him feel wanted. Meg was right about getting animals. They honestly did help with depression. He didn't feel as lonely with her. Her name was Claire.

He hadn't seen Balthazar since everything happened either. Balthazar was a good man, but there were too many links to Dean with him. Memories tying them together and he didn't want that in a relationship.

Currently he was single and he didn't mind too much. He made some friends where he was. Samandriel and Hannah. They were nice. He had a feeling Hannah liked him which was weird because he couldn't ever feel the same way about her.

Castiel constantly wondered if he'd be able to have a relationship with another man, to trust another man. He thought about potentially having a relationship with a woman. It wasn't appealing to him. But neither were men at this point. He decided to give up that dream and just be in a relationship with himself. He needed to heal before he let someone else in. And after Dean, there was a lot of healing to be done.

He almost broke one night. He was going through his books and found a book of Dean's. I'll Love You Forever. He played The Scientist on repeat that night and hugged his couch and a glass of wine. It was nice to cry though.

Meg's medicine was messing with him though. He found himself neutral when he was on it and when he forgot to take a dose he was so irrationally angry. Those days he wrote letters to Dean and tried to convey the hurt that he went through. Then he would crash, he'd reread them and cry and write letters about how he missed Dean so much and how wonderful he was.

He talked to Meg a lot about Dean and wondered if it was normal to be feeling this broken up about Dean 14 months later. Meg told him it was normal, it was his first relationship and a bad one at that. She told him to relax and give him time to heal and she would be there each step of the way.

Castiel didn't lose Sam and Jess as friends like he feared, but it was rare that he saw them. He kept in contact with them through email. They were doing great. He tried not to ask how Dean was doing but one time he broke down and finally asked. It took Jess two days to respond. Two painstakingly long days and when she replied it was short. She didn't want Castiel being hung up on Dean but understood he was curious. She said he was okay and he moved out a while ago and he was still working at the garage. Castiel was upset about that in a way. He didn't like that everyone still could talk to Dean but he couldn't. But he also understood it. He shouldn't talk to Dean. After everything he did to get away from him. He even changed his cell phone number. He's had that number for years and he was bummed when he had to change it but Lucifer said it was for his own safety. It didn't hurt any less.

*)*&(%)$_

Castiel felt like he deserved a walk. He'd been cooped up in his apartment cleaning constantly. He loved Claire, he did but she made it impossible for him to keep his house in perfect working order. She knocked things over and it was just a mess. He decided that he was going to go for a walk and there was nothing anyone could do about it.

"You better be good." Castiel demanded and Claire sat up straight and meowed at him. "Kiss up." He muttered good-heartedly.

Outside was nice. Cold, but nice. He felt like he hadn't been outside in weeks. The thing he missed the most about his old apartment was the closeness it had to the park. This one had several blocks to get to there.

He felt his phone vibrate in his pocket and glanced at the name. It was Gabriel. Sometimes he was in town and wanted to hang out but Castiel felt the need to be alone. He didn't want to worry about anyone else. He put the phone back in his pocket and inhaled deeply. There was something sharp about the air when it was cold. It burned his nostrils but he liked it. He found that with each time he took a walk, he valued the cold chill more and more.

He felt lonely today. He didn't know why, it came on so suddenly. He supposed that's what happened when he forgot to take his medicine. It was a long road figuring out which medicine worked for him. There was one that eradicated his sex drive (which didn't matter since he hadn't had sex since Dean) one that made him super hungry and gain weight, one that made him not eat ever, one that caused shock like feelings in his brain (easily his least favorite) currently the one he was on made him tired, not exhausted. He just always felt like if he could, he'd take a nap. It was annoying, but there was worse. He was tired of trying new medicine and he was sure Meg was too.

"Cas?" Castiel was jerked out of his thoughts and turned around slowly. There stood Dean Winchester. He'd just gotten a haircut, it was spiked in the front, his face was completely clean shaven. He wore a green button up and a leather jacket with that weird looking necklace Sam gave him forever ago.

Castiel stood there, his heart beat so hard in his chest. He had trouble breathing. He felt heat prickle his skin as he began sweating in the 15 degree (F) weather. He started shaking, he was trembling. He felt like he was going to be sick. There was Dean. The literal cause of his nightmares, standing a few feet away, bowlegged looking the same, like nothing haunted him.

Castiel wanted to run away but he was glued to the spot. He recognized the feeling in the pit of his stomach. Butterflies. His face flushed and he couldn't help the grin that spread across his face. He felt like he was home. With a sharp inhale of breath, he took a step forward. Dean had a glimmer in his eye and opened his arms. Castiel didn't hesitate. He buried his face in Dean's neck and whispered,

"Dean."

If the ending frustrated you, that was my plan.

In any case, I was doing a lot of thinking and for my next Destiel story I wanted to do something like Rose Red, the Stephen King movie. The group of psychics that go into a haunted house. If you're interested, let me know and tell me who you want to be included in the story. It's probably only going to have 6 or 7 of the Supernatural characters. I'm writing the beginning now. There's going to be a medium, telepath, empath, healer, psychometry, telekinisis and precognitive. Let me know who you think should be what!

Thanks guys!