Chapter 25 – Lily P.O.V.

Exhausted. That was how I felt after the events that occurred today. I felt as if all the stamina and energy I built up from Quidditch couldn't help me now. I was emotionally exhausted, and all because of my choices.

First, James, my best friend, the boy who has been there for me through thick and thin, the ups and downs, my successes and failures, the one who has wiped my tears away and whispered comforting words, who has always looked out for me, told me he was in love with me. And I just ran away.

Then Niall, the mysterious, kind but shy new student, asked me out. And for some strange reason, I said yes. Now, don't get me wrong, Niall seems like a great guy. But I feel as if I shouldn't have said yes so quickly, especially since James had just told me he was in love with me.

Merlin, what's wrong with me? I obviously don't know how to deal with the male species.

After I accepted Niall's request, I took him on a tour of the Hogwarts castle. I knew he had already been given one, but I offered to show him around anyway because I needed something to take my mind off things. He gladly accepted my offer.

It went smoothly, to put it simply. Nothing really happened, to be honest. We just held hands as I showed him around, pointing out important places, spewing out random facts, pointing at trick steps on the staircases and false doors. But the entire time, I couldn't shake the feeling that I had just lost something.

At dinner, I sat with Thalia away from James, Sirius, Remus, and the Kavanagh triplets. I needed time to just talk to Lia. She always knew what to say and gave the best advice.

"Lia, I'm kinda in trouble," I started off. My hands were folded in my lap and I just stared blankly down at the plate before me.

Thalia took one look at me and immediately dropped her utensils and gave me her undivided attention. This is why I loved her so much; she always put her friends first before herself.

"Lils, you know you can tell me anything," Lia reassured me, placing a delicate hand on my arm. I nodded mutely, still looking down at my plate.

"Now tell me what's on your mind."

And with that, everything spilled out of my mouth. Everything from suddenly being attracted to Niall upon first sight, to comparing him to James, to James' love confession, and finally to saying yes to Niall. Throughout the entire thing, Lia sat there, listening attentively, while the gears in her head went to work. She always came up with the best solutions.

"Well Lil, from what you've told me, I can see you're in a real pickle," she said, earning herself a chuckle from me. She smiled. "I think subconsciously, you've been developing feelings for James- shush, let me talk," she cut me off when she saw me open my mouth to say something.

"Now, you've been developing feelings for him but you've done your best to ignore them, because you're scared of loss. You're scared that if your relationship with him changes from platonic to romantic, something will go wrong and you'll lose him. But you're also scared that if you lose him, you'll lose Remus, you may drift away from Alice and me, and you could hurt your brother. And you rushed into a relationship with Niall because you thought that if you avoided the issue at hand, it would somehow fix itself. But really Lils, you can't run away from your problems."

Somewhere during her monologue, a tear escaped my eye and before I knew it, tears were flowing from my eyes and choked sobs were resonating from me. Thalia enveloped me in a warm hug and stroked my hair as I cried into her shoulder.

I cried and cried. I cried because she was right. My life had been perfect with everyone around me, and I was scared of losing all of that. I realized then that I needed something else in my life. Correction – I need someone. James had always been there for me, and I can't just let him go.

"Thalia," I choked out.

"Yeah, Lils?" she asked softly, still hugging me.

"How are you always right?" I asked. I smiled at the sound of her tinkling laugh.

The sound of metal clinking against glass caused the Great Hall to become silent. Thalia released me and we both brought our attention to the front of the hall, where Dumbledore stood, ready to make an announcement.

"Good evening, students!" Dumbledore said, the ever-present twinkle still in his eyes. "Now, I'd like to inform you all that there will be an upcoming dance. It will be held in 1 month. Hogsmeade trips will be scheduled to allow you to shop for clothes. It will be a masquerade ball."

Thalia and I quickly shared excited looks. A dance! We haven't had one in so long!

"Lils, you know what this means," Thalia smirked, a mischievous glint in her eyes. I was suddenly a bit afraid. Only Merlin knows what Thalia was plotting.

"Whatever it is, Merlin grant I make it out of this alive."