Going to Extremes
Disclaimer: own nothing.
A/N: timeline is majorly screwed with.
Summary: After the lie is discovered, Xander is forced into extreme exile.
ҖECWҖ
"Hey, Xander," Tommy said as he came up to him, "I read your interview in PWI. Good to hear that you're staying till after Rob gets his rematch."
"Yeah, well, I promised that I'd stay till after he gets back," Xander said, letting a hand go to the TV Title wrapped around his waist, "I owe him that much."
"You feel guilty about that, don't you," Tommy said, "You did what you had to do to win, man. Even Rob knows that."
"I didn't care about winning, though," Xander said with a sigh, "I just wanted it to end."
"…Maybe you weren't ready to end it," Tommy said, "Maybe you wanna stay in ECW."
"…I kinda do," Xander said, "But, not enough to damn near kill my friend."
"Look at it this way," Tommy said, "Rob's alive, and it's thanks to you that he is. If you hadn't performed that move the way you had, Rob probably would've died. You did it exactly right to keep him alive."
"…Thanks, Tommy," Xander said, "But, this is something I'm gonna have to get over. No amount of logic is going to help."
"Alright, man," Tommy said, "You let me know if you need someone to talk to."
"I appreciate that, Tommy," Xander said, shaking his hand, "I really do."
ҖECWҖ
"Sabu," Francine called out, a microphone in her hands and a camera crew behind her, "Sabu, can I talk to you for a moment?"
"Anything you gotta say to him," Fonzie said, coming in front of Sabu, "You can say to me."
"I was just wondering what you're gonna do now that Rob Van Dam can't compete," Francine said, "Without him, you can either get a new tag team partner or forfeit the titles."
"Oh, don't you worry about that, pretty lady," Fonzie said, giving her body a once-over, "My man, Sabu, he'll find someone! Maybe not someone who's as good as RVD, but someone!"
"What about Xander Harris," Francine suggested, "He did beat RVD for the TV Title Sunday. He'd be the best replacement. Or, are you going to honor his request for a rematch?"
"Rematch," Fonzie asked.
"Both Xander Harris and Taz have made mention about getting rematches for the FTW Championship," Francine said, only telling a half-truth.
"Lemme tell you something," Fonzie said, "If either the 'Hardcore King of Extreme-wussy,' or that son of a bitch Taz wants a rematch," Fonzie slapped Sabu's FTW Championship, "They got it."
Sabu began to walk away, with Fonzie running to catch up. Francine smiled a devious smile as they walked away.
ҖECWҖ
Born to Raise Hell came on, and the fans lit up.
HAIL TO THE KING!! HAIL TO THE KING!!
X-F-J!! X-F-J!! X-F-J!!
The fans continued the chants till Jonathan and Faith came out, standing to both sides of the curtain. Then, after a moment, right when the music paused and the speakers blasted out 'BORN TO RAISE HELL,' Xander walked out from the curtain, the ECW World Television Title securely around his waist. All three were dressed in black shirts, Faith and Xander's ripped, with Ash and a chainsaw and shotgun crossed on it.
HAIL TO THE KING!! HAIL TO THE KING!! HAIL TO THE KING!!
Jonathan went first and held the ropes open for Faith and Xander, then went in himself. Faith got on the top rope of one corner while Jonathan got on the top rope of another corner. Xander stood in between them and let the music go on for a second before taking the belt off. He wrapped the belt around both hands and lifted it up, showing the world that he was the ECW Television Champion.
"Xander Harris won that title last Sunday at ECW November To Remember," Joey Styles said, "It is the first professional wrestling title that Xander Harris has ever won in his life, and many people are wondering if the ECW World Heavyweight Championship will be added to that."
"Ladies and Gentlemen," Faith shouted into the microphone, "Introducing your NEW ECW WORLD TELEVISION CHAMPION…THE X-MAN, MY BOYTOY, XANDER HARRIS!!"
HAIL TO THE KING!! HAIL TO THE KING!! HAIL TO THE KING!!
"…Thanks, Faith," Xander said with a grin as she pecked him on the cheek, "Paul E asked me to come out here and give a speech, since it's my first title…ever! I'm not one for speeches, so, I'm just gonna say a few things. First off, give your love…for Rob Van Dam!"
WHOLE FUCKIN' SHOW!! WHOLE FUCKIN' SHOW!!
RVD!! RVD!! RVD!! RVD!! RVD!! RVD!!
E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!!
"Last Sunday, Rob got his shoulder broken in three places," Xander informed the audience, "The doctors don't know how long it'll take him to recover, but, if I know Rob, he'll be back in this ring, demanding his rematch in a week's time!"
WHOLE FUCKIN' SHOW!! WHOLE FUCKIN' SHOW!!
"Rob told me to enjoy this, to enjoy being the champ, and, you know what," Xander said, pulling the championship closer to himself, "I plan on it! Me being the champion is just…GROOVY!!"
GROOV-A!!
"That's not all-" Xander was about to continue, till Trust by Megadeth came on.
JERRY!! JERRY!! JERRY!! JERRY!!
Jerry Lynn came out from behind the curtain, dressed in his usual leggings and boots with his blonde hair and goatee immaculately in place. He quickly got up into the ring, mic in hand.
"Can I help you, Jerry," Xander asked, a little miffed at his celebration being interrupted.
"Yeah, you can," Jerry said, "Me and Rob were going to have a match for the title sometime, but, since he's not here, I find myself in need of a match."
"Well, if Rob promised you a match, then I see no reason not to honor that," Xander said with a grin, "You and me for the TV Title. Guys, what do you think?"
Jono and Faith gave him a thumbs up. The fans added their two cents.
WE WANT IT NOW!! WE WANT IT NOW!! WE WANT IT NOW!!
"Sorry, guys, you don't get it just yet," Jerry said, eliciting boos from the crowd, "Next week, X, how does that sound?"
"Sounds like a plan," Xander said, shaking the man's hand.
"Awesome," Jerry said, "And, since Rob's gone, ECW's in need of a show. I'm here to say, right now, in front of the whole world…Rob was the Whole F'N Show…Jerry Lynn is the NEW F'N SHOW!!"
The fans were kind of divided on that, some giving him boos and others gave him cheers.
"Alright, you watch what you say, man," Xander said, a little stiffly, "That's my friend you're talking about there."
"Right," Jerry said, obviously not caring, "Next week, X. Next week!"
"…As I was saying," Xander started, till he was interrupted again, "Ah, for cryin' out loud!"
Money, Power, & Respect by The L.O.X. came on, and Jazz walked out, a confident stride in her step as she approached the ring, dressed in her ring gear and a leather jacket.
"Cut the music," Jazz said as she came into the ring, "You and me, Faith. We got some business to discuss!"
Xander and Jonathan just shared a look, then headed off to a ring corner and sat down to wait.
"What's up, girl," Faith said, diverting back to her Bostonian accent.
"I ain't yo girl," Jazz said in to the mic, "And you know wat's up! I wanna match witchu!"
"Then why the Hell didn't you just ask," Faith said, "I'll fight anyone, anytime, and any-goddamn-where!"
"How 'bout right the fuck now and here, bitch," Jazz shouted.
"Oh, boy," Joey said.
Faith just stared at her for a moment, a shark-like smile on her face as she tossed her mic away.
"You want it," Faith asked, "Come get some!"
Jazz threw away her mic and made to attack Faith.
"Ladies, ladies, ladies," Paul E said as he came out, "Now, as much as I love hearing Joey shout 'CATFIGHT, CATFIGHT' like a little girl-"
"Thanks, boss," Joey said sarcastically.
"We got other things to do tonight," Paul continued, getting into the ring, "Faith, Jazz, next week, you two can fight all you want, but not tonight. Tonight, we got other things to do. Tonight, in our main event, ECW World Heavyweight Champion, Taz, will go one-on-one with Jerry Lynn! But, right now, we need you to get out so Justin Credible and Tommy Dreamer can have a match. So…scram!"
"You and me," Jazz said as she made to leave, "We gonna go all night, bitch!"
"Don't count on it," Faith said with a grin.
ҖECWҖ
Xander sat back in his ringside seat as he watched Jerry Lynn and Taz fight it out. Faith had been against it, but she knew that he had never seen Jerry fight before, so he had a right to get a look beforehand. Still, he had a feeling that something was gonna happen tonight…something big.
He watched with an impressed look as Jerry landed on his feet after Taz's T-bone tazplex, and he quickly dropkicked him in the back of his head, sending him down to the mat. Jerry ran to the ropes and made to clothesline him as he came up, but Taz caught him and gave him a Tazplex to the mat, then slapped on the tazmission.
Before the ref could even begin counting, though, Huka Blues came on. Xander watched apathetically as Sabu jumped up into the ring and crossbodied Taz to the ground. He tossed Jerry Lynn outside the ring, even as Fonzie began to set up a table outside the ring. Jerry came to his feet as he watched Sabu toss Taz onto the table. Jerry seemed to come to a decision as he turned back around and headed for Xander.
"Mind if I borrow that chair," Jerry asked.
Xander thought for a second, then stood up and handed him the chair.
"Thanks," Jerry said as he folded it up and turned for the ring.
Just as he was about to get into the ring, though, Jerry turned around and slammed the chair into Xander's forehead, dropping Xander to the ground.
JERRY SUCKS DICK!! JERRY SUCKS DICK!!
"Apparently, Jerry Lynn wants to get in some hits before his match next week," Joey said as Jerry continued to hit Xander with the chair.
Jerry didn't get too many more hits in, though, as Sabu dropped outta the sky and landed squarely on Jerry's back, sending him down into the chair, knocking him out. Xander looked up at Sabu from the ground in shock.
"…Thanks," he said.
Sabu extended a hand to him, which Xander gratefully took. As Xander came to his feet, however, Sabu pulled him back and Irish whipped him into the guardrail, causing him to collapse to his knees as he hung onto the table that was supporting Taz. Fonzie came out of nowhere and hit him in the back of the head with a chair. To him, when combined with the multiple hits Jerry had landed to his head, it felt like Hell. Fonzie and Sabu got him up on the table, then Sabu jumped into the ring as Fonzie set up the chair. Sabu jumped onto the chair, then onto the ropes, balanced himself on them just long enough to turn around on them, then did a moonsault from the top rope onto both Taz and Xander, sending them through the table to the concrete below.
"OH, MY GOD," Joey shouted.
HOLY SHIT!! HOLY SHIT!! HOLY SHIT!!
E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!!
You Shook Me All Night Long came on as Faith and Jono ran to check on Xander. Sabu and Fonzie quickly got up into the ring, with Fonzie holding a mic and Sabu holding the chair.
"Xander, Taz, if you want to get in the ring with my man, Sabu," Fonzie shouted, "You'd best make sure you got life insurance, cause neither one of you will walk out of that ring alive!"
Faith, in a fury, leapt up into the ring, and right into the chair that Sabu had thrown, sending her rolling on top of Xander and Taz.
"And, last but for damn sure not least, Sabu has chosen his brand new tag team partner…MIKE AWESOME!"
Awesome Bomb by The Slashtones came on and Mike Awesome came out a second later, with the other Tag Team belt on his shoulder. Mike's name fully conveyed just what kind of a force he was. He stood at 6 feet and 6 inches, was thickly muscled, and looked like he would fight you to the death…even though the mullet was somewhat comical.
"You and Jerry Lynn are going at it next week, but, the week after that, Taz, Xander, and my man, Sabu, are going to be in a three way dance for the FTW Championship!"
WE WANT IT NOW!! WE WANT IT NOW!! WE WANT IT NOW!!