CHAPTER 24

UNCERTAINTY

Usagi's POV

Knowing that Misaki would be too tired to get up and yet to stubborn to admit it, I just decided to lead the Sumi-brat straight to the bedroom. He said that he had just talked to him, which meant that Misaki must be up by now.

Once I opened the bedroom door, a groggy Misaki, who apparently had just woken up, called my name with a sleepy voice. After I had walked into the room and he saw Sumi, he sat up in bed. "SENPAI!" he immediately exclaimed, apparently surprised to see him. "How did you get here so fast?"

"Misaki-kun, it's been about 20 minutes since I called you?"

Misaki then turned to me and started explaining franticly. "I… I was going to tell you and then… I must've fallen… asleep… and…" His right hand moved up to grab at his shirt right above his heart as his breaths became labored. "I…"

Remembering what Kusama said about stressful situations and how it could result in Misaki ending back in the hospital, I walked straight to him and sat on the bed next to him. I grabbed both his shoulders in my hands and I said "Misaki, relax… Just breathe. Its fine… I don't really mind." I was trying to hide my contempt of the person still standing at the door.

"R-really…?" I felt his shoulders starting to relax.

"Yeah. Misaki, its fine. Now unless you want to end up back at the hospital, you must calm down. Okay?" Misaki's eyes widened at the mention of the hospital and, a moment later, he was taking in deep breaths trying to relax.

"Hospital?" Sumi asked.

Ignoring him, I said to Misaki "Want some tea?" Misaki only nodded. "I'll go get you some." Just to make sure that Sumi remembered who Misaki belonged to, I placed a kiss on Misaki's lips. Once I pulled away, I saw that precious look on his face: his cheeks fully painted in red and his eyes wide, not believing that I just did that in front of someone… again…

I only smirked as I quickly got up and walked to the door, not giving him the chance to argue. Before I left though, I paused a second. I was sure that what I said would only be heard by the Sumi-brat. "You better not touch him. And don't you dare stress him out. Got it?"

I left the room after I had seen Sumi slightly flinch. Satisfied that he wouldn't attempt anything weird, I headed straight to the kitchen.

Misaki's POV

I heard the door open to the room and it pulled me away from my slumber. Slowly opening my eyes, I saw Usagi-san standing at the door. "Usagi-san…" I said groggily.

Suddenly I started recalling what I wanted to tell him. Once he entered the room though and stepped aside, I sat up quickly, alert of who it was standing behind him. "SENPAI!" I said in surprise. I somehow felt that Usagi-san was pissed about not knowing that he was coming. Or more like he didn't want him there at all.

I tried to explain what happened. After a few words, I started to feel panicky that maybe I wasn't explaining what I wanted to say in the right way. My chest pain just got worse as I struggled to say the words.

Usagi-san's words, after he had taken a place on the bed next to me, helped me relax a bit. I knew that he was trying to hide that he wasn't pleased. When he mentioned that I would end up in the hospital again if I didn't calm down, I tried my best to relax.

He then left the room, leaving senpai and myself alone in the room, but not before kissing me in front of my senpai, leaving my face burning red with the heat of embracement.

"Thanks for coming senpai, but really you didn't have to…"

"Of course I did. My poor innocent Kohai sick and alone…" he said dramatically before I interrupted him.

"I'm not alone, Senpai."

"Oh yeah, definitely not alone…" he said with a wink, a smirk plastered on his face.

"Please Senpai, stop teasing me," I replied as I leaned on the headboard for support.

He chuckled and then said with a serious tone "So tell me Misaki-kun, why where you at the hospital?" He grabbed a chair that was in the corner of the room pulling it closed to the bed and sitting down next to me.

I hesitated for a second before I finally said "It's nothing…"

"Misaki-kun, you do know that you are a horrible liar, don't you?"

"Senpai, I…" I was about to come up with something when I finally decided that it wasn't worth it and that it was better to just tell him. Usagi-san always said that when I hide things from him it only makes him worry more. It was bad enough that I had Usagi-san worrying about me; I didn't need to have Senpai worried too.

"It's something to do with my heart… I'm not sure what it is. The doctor tried to explain, but you know me Senpai. I'm usually slow to understand things…" I sighed as I said that, trying not to make it sound so serious. I was trying to lighten the mood, but I couldn't bring myself to smile.

"How bad?"

"I'll be fine in a couple of weeks…" When I saw the frown on his face, I waved my hands in front of me as I added "There is no need to worry Senpai. Really, it's not that bad."

"So then you'll be back at school by then?"

School… I forgot about that until I got his call this morning…

"I'm not going to school…"

"You're right. Don't rush it. Your health always comes first, remember that…"

"No…" I slightly shook my head, dropping my gaze to the floor. "I won't be going back…"

"What do you mean by not going back? Do you mean this semester? You will be coming back by the next term, right?"

I simply shook my head as a reply.

"You can't be serious, Misaki. I remember you saying that you couldn't wait to graduate and get your degree to show it to your brother." My eyes were wide at the mention of my brother and my head snapped upwards as I stared at Senpai. "Wasn't he the

reason you got into M university in the first place? What would he say if he heard of this? What…"

He doesn't know…

"He won't…"

He was right. It was something that I said but… nii-chan is no longer around… He is no longer here… I felt tears gather in my eyes. I tried to blink them away, to keep them in…

"Then what are you going to do if you don't finish university? You only have two years left."

"I'll find a job…"

"Misaki, be reasonable. You're brother will be disappointed…"

"No, he won't…" Choking on the words, I felt the tears escape my eyelids as I wasn't able to keep them in any longer. My heart constricted painfully, the ache from earlier only increasing.

"Misaki, what's wrong? Why are you…?"

"HE WON'T! He just won't. He can't… Even if he wanted to he won't be able to… He is… He…"

"Misaki? Why are you crying…?" His words were less scolding and more tender as he asked me this. I couldn't stop the tears that had started falling… Thinking about nii-chan was still so painful. My heart ached so bad. It hurt and it was hard to breathe…

"He… he is gone… Nii-chan is gone…"

"Misaki please… You're not making any sense? Where did your brother go to?"

"He won't come back… Nii-chan is… dea… de…"

"Misaki, what are you…? …Oh god… You mean…?" I was glad that he finally understood… I didn't think I could say it… For some reason I still can't bring myself to say it. "But… what happened?"

I started crying as I recalled what had happened. I felt a hand on my back after I had shut my eyes tight to try and stop the tears that were totally out of my control, and yet it didn't help…

It still hurts… Nii-chan…

Usagi's POV

Before I got to the room, I heard Misaki yelling "HE WON'T!" I hurried to the door and opened it, only to see Misaki hunched over. His hand was tightly clutched over his chest and tears were slipping from under his tightly shut lids as he sobbed.

I turned and glared at Sumi, who had a hand over Misaki's back. He just shrugged his shoulders, looking confused, when I asked "What did you do?"

He replied as I walked closer and sat in the same place I did before leaving the room, placing the two mugs in my hand on the nightstand. "He was telling me that he wasn't going to come back to school and I was asking him why… He just started crying… and then he told me about… his brother…"

Sumi had backed away from Misaki when I took my place next to him. I pulled Misaki into my arms and whispered to him "Misaki, it's alright…"

"What… happened?" Sumi asked again.

Misaki seemed like he was struggling to say something. Then he said in a broken voice "He's gone… A c-car hit him… Ev-even though I tried… I t-tried to save… him… h-he ended up i-in a pool of b-blood."

"Misaki, love, you don't have to talk about…"

"No… Usagi-san, no… He suffered… Nii-chan didn't die right away… He lived for… h-hours more… s-suffering… i-in pain…" Sobs escaped his lips as he told Sumi what happened.

"Misaki-kun, I'm sorry. You don't need to say anymore…" Sumi said sincerely.

"I was selfish… I-I asked him to… I told h-him not to leave… H-he was in a lot o-of pain…"

"Misaki, enough. It's over now. He isn't suffering anymore. It's alright now." Misaki tightened his clutch on my clothes.

"H-hurts…" His other hand was still grabbing at his chest.

"Come on, take deep breaths… I can't give you your medicine until you eat."

"You don't have food here?" I glared at Sumi sideways.

"I ordered out. It's not here yet."

As if he remembered something, Sumi said "Oh yeah, right, I have…" He paused as he dug a chocolate bar out of his jacket pocket. "…this"

"Chocolate? Really?"

"Anything, as long as it's something to eat so he could take the medicine. Look at him. He is in pain." I growled as I snatched the bar out of his hand and unwrapped it, handing it to Misaki to eat.

"Misaki, just two bites…" I said to Misaki as he stared at the bar for the longest moment. Not meeting my eyes, he nodded and force fed himself. I reached for the nightstand drawer and grabbed the medicine bag that I had placed there when we got home.

I took out two pills that Nowaki had told me were painkillers and handed them to Misaki with the tea mug that I had brought with me earlier from the kitchen. I lied him down after he had swallowed the pills and placed the mug and remaining chocolate bar on the nightstand.

His tears kept falling. He hugged one of my arms to him as he cried. My hand wiped his tears with the back of my fingers and I said "It's going to be alright…" a few times to try and calm him down. Sumi sat there, silently watching as Misaki drifted to sleep that the drug had caused, but not after shedding enough tears to soak through the pillow under his head.

"I never would have thought that this would happen…" Sumi said a while after Misaki had closed his lids.

"And neither did he…" I replied with my eyes still on him and my fingers stroking his left cheek, wiping the wet trails away, for they hadn't ceased.

"So he really isn't going to finish university, is he?"

"What are you talking about?" I asked in confusion. I wasn't sure what he was talking about.

"Huh? He didn't tell you?"

"Tell me what?"

"He just said that he will find a job and that he isn't going back to school."

"There is no way… He wouldn't…"

"It seemed like he actually meant it."

I sighed. A moment of silence followed before I said "You should probably leave. He won't be waking up anytime soon."

"I understand."

At that, I led Sumi out. I was relieved that he didn't argue and just agreed. After that, the food arrived and I placed it in the fridge for when Misaki woke up, before heading back upstairs to be with Misaki as he slept.

I was worried about the whole university thing. I remembered how Misaki was insistent on getting into M university, so it came as a shock to me when Sumi told me about what Misaki had said. There was no way I was going to let him give up his future. He had to finish what he started.

It began as something he had to do for his brother's sacrifice and ended with him being so into the whole subject and having his own reasons other than Takahiro to pursue his education. He loved studying economics and, even though he complained a lot, he never missed a day since he had started his university life.

I had to convince him somehow. I looked down onto his sleeping face, noticing the tear that escaped his lid. I wiped it away, but soon another followed. I will try but not just yet…

TBC

AN: So was it what you thought would happen? Do you think Misaki is ever going to go back to school? Tell me what you guys think. Next update will be up soon... I hope this chapter was to your liking ;D

Thanx Xxobsessive for the help... guys she is posting an epic new fix of JR you have to check it out!