CHAPTER 22: A CHOICE IS MADE
(Louise POV)
"You know, Valliere, I always had suspicions that you actually swung the other way... but I would never have thought that you were actually into..."
"Shut up! I told you it wasn't what it looked like!"
"So you say..." A voice trailed off in disbelief. A voice that further increased my irritation.
"..." Knowing there was no point arguing, I decided to use my right to remain silent, shutting out the nonsense which the Germanian was spouting.
It was a bright and sunny day, the kind of weather that would elicit someone to have a good mood.
Due to certain complications, however, I was unable to find the nice weather as relaxing.
There are times when I have been accused of being a lesbian, a person with a female body yet in reality was male at heart. It is untrue, fictional and nothing but the perception of people around me. After all, even if I do feel attracted to girls, it was simply caused by the influence of my magically powerful, yet terribly irresponsible womanizing teacher.
Right now though, not only was I being accused of 'swinging' the 'other way,' I was also being accused of being an... 'animal lover,' and not in the common usage of the phrase.
The day before, we decided to stop our travels and sleep for the night so that Sylphid, our Rhyme Dragon companion that was carrying us to our destination, could get some rest. It was a peaceful and uneventful evening, probably due to the fact that all of us were rather exhausted.
There was a bit of bickering between us as usual as we ate dinner by a bonfire, a lively conversation that was enjoyed mostly by Zerbst, who had been teasing me and Tabitha to no end about that little moment we shared. However, none of us were in the mood to listen to her at all, and I could not even muster enough strength for a retort.
Surprising as it is, sitting all day long can actually be quite tiring, especially if you cannot move from your position, when one wrong move can end up with you plummeting to the ground below.
It was stupid, incredibly careless, for all of us to end up sleeping without putting out the fire, without one of us staying awake to keep guard, yet that was exactly what happened. Still, we were rather fortunate, that no harmful element had come to ambush us in our moment of weakness. My magic may subconsciously activate when there is danger in the air, but it does not work all the time, since there are those who are able to hide their true intentions.
Thankfully, when dawn finally came, all of us were still intact... almost.
When I woke up earlier this morning, I found that my personal space had been invaded... by a girl with long blue hair who was not wearing anything, and who had been using my chest as her pillow.
It was Sylphid, in her human form.
Now, it would not have been so bad if I managed to get away quickly. Unfortunately, I was unable to, since whenever I tried to pry her off, she would hug me even tighter, as if I was some sort of stuffed toy... and this was the sight that greeted Kirche and Tabitha, who woke up just a minute after I was roused from my slumber.
Kirche, as expected, found the sight utterly amusing and proceeded to tease us nonstop, though it was more directed at me than it was at Sylphid.
Her rants, however, were only a minor annoyance, and would hardly have ruined my day.
No, the reason why I was not in a good mood... was because of the aura that was emanating from Sylphid's master.
Yes, I was used to being in the presence of malevolent auras, plenty of times said aura was directed at me, but even if I was used to it, that did not mean I enjoyed the experience. It was really, really uncomfortable.
She was angry, obviously so, both at me and at Sylphid, though whether it was because she was jealous that her familiar seemed to like me a lot, or it was because I seemed to like her familiar a lot, I was not sure.
Though it was probably both of those reasons.
Thus, instead of the upbeat mood I should be in at the moment, I was feeling nervous, really nervous, unsure of whether I would be frozen to death or hugged to death by petite girl with glasses.
At first, I had to keep my guard around them because I was not yet entirely certain if I could trust them with my back. Now, I had to keep my guard up even tighter than before, since it was now certain that they, or rather she, cannot be trusted, though for a completely different reason.
To make matters worse, based on experience, the silent types are always the ones who speak with their actions rather than words.
Thus, while I know that she certainly won't stab be in the back, Tabitha, judging from the way she was seated, as well as where she was seated, seemed to have a half mind to jump me from behind.
Thankfully, New Castle, based from the speed of our flight, was only a few hours away. Once we get there, I would be able to finish my mission, after which, I would finally be able to get away from my perverted companions, and leave the wa...
?!
"Hey, Valliere, what's with that depressed look all of a sudden?"
"It's none of your business, Zerbst."
"Fine, sulk all you want. I was just trying to be nice you know."
"..."
I know it was unfair of me to lash out at Kirche like this, since my sudden depression was not her fault, but I could not help it.
All this time, I had been trying to focus, trying not to be distracted, from the task which I have at hand, trying to concentrate solely on it, so that I would not end up thinking about other things.
For me though, I guess it really isn't possible.
My sisters. Cattleya, Eleonore. Even though I was doing this for their sake, I could not help but feel guilty at the way I left them a few days ago. Once I accomplish my mission, I would teleport myself to where they are so that we can finally go home.
At least, that was originally what I was planning to do. Now, though, I am not sure if it would be the right course of action to take.
The guild before everything else. Family before everything else. When it comes to saving the world or saving a nakama, it is a truly heavy burden, a tough decision to make. Even Master Makarov, the person who taught us this, always had difficulty in making his choice. However, even when there were times when he chose the former, when there was no other way, I knew, we knew, in our hearts, that it was not the choice he wanted to make.
He would not like seeing countless people suffer, yet just like me, just like the rest of us members of the guild, he would choose it, over seeing his loved ones in agony.
Regardless of the conflict that was going on in Albion, it was none of my concern after all.
Or isn't it?
Will I be able to leave things like this and just go with the flow?
In the towns of Albion I had been to on this journey, I have seen it with my own two eyes, the changes and reforms which the Reconquista were undoubtedly responsible for. The commoners were no longer being treated as commoners, and were instead being treated as equals. It was not a perfect system, and there were quite a few conflicts, between the nobles who held on to the new ways, and those who truly uphold the rebel faction's philosophies, yet in the end, those who do not follow suit with the concept of non magicals given equal rights to those with magic, were being suppressed and punished for their actions.
Still, even if it was not a perfect system, it was still much better than the old one, a system in which commoners had no rights when their case was against a noble, treated as little better than pets or animals.
And yet, despite their improved form of government, their purpose is to spread their ideals throughout Halkegenia.
Which meant that, more likely than not, they would eventually wage war against Tristain.
The Valliere, as I knew too well, were very influential and quite close to the crown. However, even then, they could not refuse if they were decreed to fight in the war.
And my sisters, while I now know how much I truly mean to them, will not back down from it, and were probably going to volunteer themselves for the task. The fact that they did not turn down the request from Henrietta is proof of that. I know that neither of them were nationalistic nor patriotic at heart, yet when it comes to defending their home, to defending their family, they would be more then willing to give their lives for it.
Now that I think about it, even if I did succeed in my mission, which would thus ensure solidifying an alliance with Germania, an invasion was still likely to occur eventually, and all I would be doing would be to delay it.
Even if Reconquista was true to what it was fighting for, the people who are dear to me were living in Tristain, and if things escalate... I don't even want to think about it.
But then, those very friends of mine. My fellow workers at the Academy... Siesta. Were they not miserable, suffering at the corrupt system that was in place?
It was a long shot, a punch towards the moon, I know, but maybe, just maybe, there was something I could do.
Maybe, it was possible. Maybe there is a more peaceful means to resolve this. Maybe, there was a way to prevent the war from spreading further. Maybe there was a way to go about things without too many people getting hurt.
"Kyuu!"
?!
A loud bang suddenly interrupted me from my line of thought.
Thanks to the passport that the old couple I met gave me, it was quite easy for us to pass through every checkpoint that was set up by the Reconquista. Even in the last two checkpoints, where Tabitha's and Kirche's pass did not have enough privilege to allow them entry, the one in my possession was enough for us to be allowed to go through without too many questions.
It was surprising, as well as suspicious, I knew, yet for some reason, I could not help but trust them, the two people who gave me this pass.
Now, though, it seems that I would no longer be needing it, as the next and final checkpoint, which was situated near the border of New Castle.
Was nought but a pile of ash...
-BREAK-
(Kirche POV)
Riverdale, is a town in the country of Albion. It is a small yet very prosperous place, one of the keys to maintaining the economy of Albion.
Based from the geographical location of Riverdale, which was located near a river, the town was bound to flourish. Its industry, especially agriculture and mining of gold, silver, windstones, and sulphur, are what made the town wealthy. In fact, many of the finer Albion products that are imported into Tristain are actually from this particular town.
That wealth and prosperity, however, could no longer be seen, even worse than a shadow of its former glory.
The shops and houses were blackened and emitting smoke, the largest building located at the centre reduced a burning pile of rubble.
Founder, thought Kirche in shock at the sight. Based from what she had seen, a large fire must have occurred.
?!
Just as she was taking and coming into terms with what she was seeing, her eyes suddenly widened in surprise.
"VALLIERE, WHAT IN THE FOUNDER'S NAME DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?!"
Being at least three hundred meters up in the air, it was not surprising that the fiery redhead screamed when one of her companions suddenly jumped off and plummeted to the ground below.
Her worry, however, was for nought, as the midget landed safely and gracefully despite the height, undoubtedly supported by Levitation or Wind Magic.
At least, that was with regards to her fall. The fact that the girl jumped right into the center of the tragic scene actually made Kirche the Ardent even more worried. She may consider Louise Valliere as her rival, but in truth, the Zerbst did not hate her to the point of wanting her dead. In fact, in the past few days, she had to admit that she had grown rather fond of the boyish female, who had proven that she was not all that bad.
"Sylphid."
"Kyuu!"
With a wordless command, her friend Tabitha ordered Sylphid to take them down to the town...
?!
And a terrible sight met their eyes.
When they were high up in the air, the destruction of the town was already quite visible, and Kirche, who had already been to this particular place before, could actually find it hard to believe what she was seeing, and thought that, seeing how bad it is, it could not get any worse.
She was wrong.
Now that they were precisely at the scene, Kirche realized that it was much worse than she originally thought.
Dead bodies, corpses, were lying scattered everywhere. Some of these bodies were charred and burned, some beyond identification, just enough to recognize that they were once human. Others were only partially burned, with the faces still visible, whereas a few where situated in areas that had not been reached by the flames.
However, it was not a simple fire which had destroyed Riverdale. Because if it were, then those that have died would only have been killed by the flames. Yet some of the bodies have some of their body parts missing, not because it was burned off, but because it was cut off.
An attack on the town had undoubtedly occurred.
?!
In truth, this was not the first time that Kirche the Ardent had seen dead bodies. In fact, she had killed quite a few herself, back in her home country of Germania when she was challenged to a duel, as well as in her travels with Tabitha, when Kirche helped out her friend with the dangerous missions that she was given.
Perhaps it was simply because she was fortunate, but never in all her life had Kirche seen such a gruesome and pitiful sight.
Riverdale had undoubtedly been taken over by Reconquista. Thus, it was not surprising that among the corpses there were those that wear the particular uniform. In fact, as Kirche noticed, one of the bodies which had not been completely burned, while it no longer had a head, was clutching a broken wand in its hand, and the badge on his chest indicated that he was a captain of the rebel faction.
The dead, unfortunately, was not limited to the members of the rebel faction.
They also included civilians.
Dead bodies in various conditions was something which Kirche the Ardent was used to. True, it still made her feel still, but then she could tolerate it.
But then, those were the corpses of soldiers and mages.
Not the bodies of women and children.
"Who could have done this..."
The Ardent, is the runic name of Kirche von Zerbst. A person whose nature is to burn with passion.
"How could they... How could anyone be so cruel..."
Yet now, she could not feel any of that passion, and while it was true that she was still burning from the inside, it was not the flames of passion that were burning within her, but rather...
... the flames of fury.
Not even the anger she felt on the day her parents decided to marry off to an old Germanian general could compare to the rage she was feeling at the moment.
"Ouch!"
It was at that time when she felt as if she was about to explode Kirche felt something hit her.
"Calm yourself."
"Did you have to hit me that hard?" The Germanian grumbled, as she rubbed the back of her head. Still, she could not be help but be grateful to Tabitha. Getting smacked on the head with a staff was painful, but it was because of the pain that Kirche was brought to her senses.
"We must help. Put out the fire. See if there are any survivors. Find Louise."
"Right..." Kirche trailed off, feeling slightly ashamed that Tabitha, had a much more mature outlook than her despite being three years younger.
Yes, that should be their priority. The fire was already dying down by itself, yet there were still parts in the town that was still burning intensely. From the way it looked, it was unlikely that they would still find anyone alive among the rubble, but still, they have to try.
As for their pink-haired companion, Kirche was certain that she was probably alright. She was a strong person after all, and the way Tabitha elaborated their would-be tasks proved that she probably thought the same way.
Pulling out her wand, Kirche aimed it at the ground. She was not an earth mage, but that did not mean she did not have means of moving earth. Using a levitation spell, she sent a mass of soil towards one of the still burning houses, while Tabitha was sending torrents of water at them, while Sylphid was flapping her wings at the burning cinders, in such a way that the fire would be put out instead of turned rekindled. It was at times like this that she wished she had better control of earth and water.
"HEY! IS ANYONE STILL ALIVE OUT THERE?!"
"KYUUI! KYUUI!"
Kirche and her companions moved around the town, putting out the flames to remove the possibility of them spreading again, all the while shouting out loud, trying to see if there were any survivors.
This went on for a while, though she had no idea exactly how much time had passed.
"KYUU!"
?!
"HEY SYLPHID, DID YOU FIND SOMEONE?!"
"KYUUI! KYUUI!" The Rhyme Dragon, which was circling the town from the skies, nodded in response.
"LEAD THE WAY!"
Knowing time was of the essence, Kirche and Tabitha ran as fast as they would towards the location...
"Mama..."
And witnessed a scene that made her heart stop...
-BREAK-
(Louise POV)
People die. This is an inevitable truth. No one in the world can escape death, no one.
When a person will die, however, is a different matter altogether.
Some people are fated to live a long life before dying.
Some people are fated to die early.
At least is what some people say.
Yes, it is true that everyone is fated to die. No one can escape death, nor can we predict when it will come to take us, it is the inevitable truth.
However, I do not believe in fate, nor do I believe in destiny. Thus, I am able to move forward, for even though I know I will die someday, I control that which happens in between. I, not fate or destiny, control my future.
At least, that is what I steadfastly believe.
Fate does not exist as long as you believe that it does not exist.
Yet, there are some things which are beyond your control.
I have already come to accept this fact, that things don't always go the way you want them, as is the way nature.
A contradiction.
Yet this madness, this tragedy, is caused by neither fate nor destiny. It was caused by man.
War and conflicts has always been part of the history of the world. Whether it is in this world or in the other one, as long as there are disagreements, as long as there are misunderstandings, wars will always occur. Small scale or large scale it makes no difference. There will always be those who get caught in the crossfire.
This is not the first time I have been in a warzone, nor is it the first time that I have seen innocent people die needlessly.
And yet, no matter how many times I have witnessed it, I simply could not get used to it. Had it not been for Fairy Tail, had it not been for the people who care for me, I would have broken down long ago.
"Mama..."
In my arms, I held a child, barely seven or eight from the look of her. As was common of the people of Albion, she had blonde hair and clear emerald eyes.
And because of my disguise, she seemed to have mistaken me for her mother.
"Mama, why does your voice sound weird?" The girl in my arms asked innocently.
"Well, Mama drank too much cold water last night so her throat is a little sore. That's why Mama's voice sounds a little weird." I lied.
"Oh, I hope you get better soon, Mama."
Deceiving a child and pretending to be her mother. How far I have fallen. Yet, with the present circumstance, telling the truth would make things even worse.
"Hey, Mama, could you sing me a song? But if Mama can't I understand."
"As long as it's okay with you even if Mama's voice sounds a little weird..."
"Yay!"The young girl cried happily.
"But first," I told the girl. "The magic word?"
"Ummm... please?"
I smiled gently at her, laying her gently on the my cloak which I placed on the floor to make a makeshift bed, before I opened my mouth and began to sing.
Let's sing a song
The song of the Earth
Hold the wind in your arms
Bask in the light
The stars are twinkling
Shining down upon the streets
Light and bouncy
Be full of hopes...
Healing magic. Magic which can be used to bring people back to good health. There are various forms of this magic, such as magic used to heal wounds and mend broken bones, magic that could cure common cold and other types of ailments, and this type also includes magic that can cure poisons.
Despite all my attempts, I have never been able to use healing magic. I always wanted to be able to learn it, yet at this moment, I truly wish from the bottom of my heart that I know how to use it.
Let's sing a song
Let the song of the world
Travel forever
Looking up at the sky
The sound of people talking
Insects jumping
Light and bouncy
An alternative to healing spells, would be the use of healing potions and medicine. The kind old lady who took me in had proven that such arts could even surpass healing magic itself.
But that was only when it comes to curing poisons or certain types of disease. When it comes to healing injuries such as wounds, broken bones, and burns, she would still rely on her healing magic. There was medicine which enhanced the healing process of these maladies, but they only speed up the process. If too severe... then only a miracle would save them.
Taking my hopes with it...
Light and bouncy
Tomorrow will definitely
No such miracle would happen today.
My tone is gentle and cheerful, the tone which I have always used when dealing with children.
Even if on the inside what I felt was rage and grief, I refused to let it surface, and continued my carefree facade.
Light and bouncy. Reach the sky
Thankfully, it had not been a waste of time. Finally, the moment I finished the song, the girl fell asleep with a peaceful smile on her face.
An eternal slumber, from which she would never wake up ever again.
Now, she had finally been able to move on to a better place.
Now that she could no longer hear me, I was finally free... free to let out the tears that I have been holding back all this time.
-BREAK-
(Kirche POV)
Kirche von Zerbst had never liked the rain. As a mage whose main attribute is fire, it was not really that surprising.
There were times when the weather becomes really hot, especially during summer, but even then, even if she wanted to cool off by swimming in the water, she still did not like it when it rains, as, aside from weakening any fire spells she cast, it somehow dampened her mood.
At the moment, however, the Germanian wanted it to rain.
The fine weather made her feel as if the world was making fun of them.
"Are you sure it's alright to leave her alone?" Kirche asked her best friend, Tabitha.
"No, but she wants some space. We should respect her decision."
Unlike usual, Kirche's friend, instead of using signs and body gestures to answer questions, was actually using her voice. Her face was still the emotionless mask it usually is, but the Germanian could tell that the Gallian knight was just as upset as she was.
The fact that the book that usually covered half of her face was still absent was proof of that.
There were no survivors. Even though they had finally managed to put completely put out the flames that was incinerating the town, it was a hollow success. Despite all their attempts and effort, neither she nor Tabitha had been able to find anyone still alive from the remains of Riverdale. The one person who they found to be still breathing was already beyond help, and her life was soon extinguished.
Tears. For the very first time, Kirche had seen tears fall from the eyes of Louise Valliere. There was a time when the Germanian wanted to see it, to see the Valliere girl broken, wallowing in despair and misery.
Yet now that she had witnessed it, Kirche felt no joy whatsoever from the experience..
Instead, what she felt sorrow and frustration, at the fact that she herself was helpless.
It was already nightfall. Tired and exhausted from the day's effort, Kirche decided that it was best for them to rest for the evening.
Rest, since she knew that after what she had seen, she would probably not get a wink of sleep that night.
-BREAK-
(Louise POV)
I have never been good at art, nor am I good at drawing or carving, but still I have done my best. After some effort, I have finally managed to finish it, burying the remains of those who had perished. I know that it is not the exact number, since there were probably some bodies that were burned so thoroughly into ashes that there was no indication that they once belonged to a living person. Still, there is nothing else I could do.
I marked the graves with marble stones, the best ones I could find, while I placed wreaths of flowers around them, hoping that I have at least made a satisfactory resting place for them.
The urge to cut myself with something sharp had once again emerged as I counted the number of grave markers which indicated the number of people that died.
Yet at the moment, it hardly even registered, a very minor complication that was nothing but a passing thought, and it did not even take the form of an impulse.
If there was someone I wanted to hurt at the moment, it was not myself.
It was whoever was responsible for this atrocity.
During my time in Fiore, I have learned so many things, and it was not limited to magic.
I have also learned to control my emotions through meditation. To someone like me, a person who somewhat mentally unstable and who has developed masochistic tendencies on reflex, it was an absolute necessity.
However, I have managed to take it to another level. Or rather, according to my teacher, I have awakened the innate talent to complete suppress my emotions.
The Blank State, that was what my teacher called it. When I am in this state my actions are completely separate from my emotions. At first, I did not find any relevance in this ability of mine, other than preventing me from doing something stupid like committing suicide.
When my teacher told me to enter it during our spars, however, I found that it was actually quite useful.
With my entire being set on the goal of beating him, even though I still lost in the end, I was able to last for quite a long while fighting against him, the strongest mage in Fairy Tail. For some time I continued entering the Blank State when I am sparring against him.
That is, until a particular incident occurred which made my teacher change his mind about my ability, and told me that I should refrain from using it unless it was absolutely necessary.
But then, even if he did not forbid me from using it, that is exactly what I intended to do.
When I am in the Blank State, I see everything from a purely logical perspective. The decisions I make, the actions I take, are based on what I calculate as the swiftest and most effective means of succeeding, and it has proven to be quite effective.
But, as a consequence, I become an emotionless machine that becomes set in finishing what it is that I have set my mind in accomplishing, doing anything and everything possible to succeed.
I truly am a hypocrite, for feeling infuriated at the ones, whoever they turn out to be, who attacked this town and killed everyone in it. I have no right to judge, nor do I have the right to feel angry... not after everything that I have done in the past. Even if my purpose at the time was noble, my goal set on saving people, it was still wrong.
Even if I was in the Blank State, the fact that I did not have any regard for the innocents that had to perish was unforgiveable. Had it not been for my teacher snapping me out of it, I would have sacrificed them without remorse or hesitation.
To be honest, I am afraid of using the Blank State because it turns me into something that I am not... yet now I have been left with no other option.
If I do not disregard emotions, they would only get in the way, and prevent me from doing what is necessary.
I have to stop this war. I have to protect my loved ones.
No matter what the cost.
Even if it is my own humanity.
As long as I can save the people I care for the most.
As long as I can put an end to this madness.
Even if I am left with nothing in the end.
Then I will have no regrets.
It is the only way.
Closing my eyes, I started meditating, and just as I have done before, I imagined my heart being ripped from where it resided, before placing it in a large, metallic chest...
-BREAK-
Almost immediately, her view of the world has changed.
There is no right or wrong.
There is no moral or immoral.
There is no good or evil.
All that is there, is that which she must accomplish.
Her magic, her entire being, directed entirely at her goals.
There is nothing else aside from them.
There is nothing before or beyond them.
Everything will be focused on them.
The epicentre.
The only things in existence.
Her goals, nothing more, nothing less.
There is nothing which can stop her from accomplishing them.
The person known as Louise has gone to sleep.
Her heart locked within the confines of her soul.
In the place where her heart once was, there was nothing...
All that was left... was a void...
"I..."
All that was left... was emptiness...
"am..."
All that was left... was...
"Zero."
AUTHOR'S NOTES
Alright, another chapter out. Now, as I have warned earlier, the next few chapters will be a bit on the downer side. It will get to a brighter side eventually, but for a while, it is going to be like this.
To those who do not like a bit of drama, I recommend that you skip the next three chapters or so, depending on how I progress with this, since they certainly will have their heavy moments.
Now, Fairy Tail Manga is now at the Tartaros Arc. Like I said before, the FT universe in my fic will be somewhat AU and it only follows canon semi-faithfully up to the Grand Magic Games Arc, but I might still get some ideas from the more recent chapters. Would be a waste after all.
The polls for the pairings are still open. I won't tell you the current result but from what I can tell, so far, many of you are just like me, perverts at heart. I'm sure you can guess from this comment which option is leading in the polls.
By the way, if you see some grammatical errors, or parts were the phrases seem to match, please feel free to point them out. Criticism is welcomed and appreciated.
And before I forget to acknowledge, the song there in indent is not mine. The song is from the anime Black Cat, the one that is sung by Saya when she is on the roof.
But anyways, enough about that...
And like always, I hope you enjoy reading this chapter...
Later then, people...