Thank you to my daily readers who keep me going! Loves!

If you can stick with me into Book 2, I explain a lot of what will happen in the next few chapters in that 'book'. (I'll say again...I've written this more as a Light Novel. The 'book' breaks are only for my convenience.)

CHAPTER 25 Comprehending the Full Scope of the Test

By the time Ilena was starting to come out of the hibernative state, Leah and Rio had both retired for the night. They had asked if Obi wanted Thayne to come and he'd said no. He looked at Shirayuki. "Mistress. She is beginning the ascent. You should leave now."

Shirayuki considered his words. They were dismissing her, but she had the right to stay, both as Ilena's medical provider, and as her mistress. She stood. "You must have a reason for wanting to be alone with her, but I won't go far. I'm concerned there may be complications, so I'll wait in the courtyard. Call me."

Obi nodded, and watched her as she left, then looked at Ilena again. They had once again set a candle behind the vase to give gentle light to the room that wouldn't be disturbing. Her features were softened by the light and by the fact that she was lying down. He wondered if he would recognize her when she was finally able to be upright, forgetting he had actually seen her sitting up just a few days prior. In his imagination, what she looked like wavered. When he thought of the steward, he pictured someone with hard, cold features. When he talked to one of the Children about Mother, he saw someone with a quick smile and tender eyes. The woman in front of him was a mix of the two. Her face could go hard and cold very quickly, but just as fast it could show tenderness. She loved to smile, but was apparently a consummate player of the court games. That required not showing any strong emotion at all. He couldn't picture that, but Zen, Mitsuhide, Kiki, and Shirayuki had all assured him she was very capable of it.

He was about to touch that face that had been either so still in sleep or marred by pain for the last three days, remembering the emotions he'd been able to see when she had reacted to his teasing, glad for them, when she took the first breath that heralded the sleep talking phase. He stopped and put his hand back down. This would be the last of the longer sleep talking phases. The rest would be too short for conversations. It was the one thing he would miss about this damnable drug. It was why he wanted to be alone with her, though of course it didn't mean she would say anything useful.

"Obi? Obi? ...Where are you?" For a moment, he couldn't say anything. This was the first dream she had ever had that included the present him from the beginning. "Where did you go?"

"I'm right here," he said quietly. "What do you need?"

She took a sharp breath, as if surprised by his 'appearance'. "Ah. Are you there?"

"Yes. What can I do for you?"

She frowned. "Tell Zen... Tell Zen... It's important."

He was about to ask what he should tell him, when he remembered that she was supposed to have blocked this kind of thing from being spoken. She would likely not be able to tell him at this point. "What is the key?" he asked instead.

"When it's time, when he asks the question, only Obi's voice will be heard. Both must be there, but only Obi will be able to ask."

"Ok. I'll tell Master. Do you know the question?"

"Zen knows the question. He said he would wait."

"Okay. I understand."

"...what is Obi's question?"

Obi paused, then said quietly, "Does Ilena love the Obi of today?"

"...Yes. Very much so. But Ilena is afraid."

This time, Obi did touch her cheek. "Obi is afraid, too." Did he have time for one more? "Why did Ilena make Obi to be Father?"

"..."

Obi put his head in his hands. It seemed either he was too late, or this part of her couldn't answer it.

"...Obi," it was Mother's voice. "You already know."

Obi's eyes went wide, and his heart lurched. "When did I understand it?"

"When you first loved my Children." He knew it. He could feel it from his depths.

"You're right," he answered, "but I did not know how to see it."

"Do you now?"

"Yes," he whispered.

"Good. ...I love you, Father. Please continue to love my Children."

He took her hand. "I will."

She slipped away. He lay his head down on his arms at her side, glad to be alone with her at this time, wishing it would last...that the next phase wouldn't come.

But come, it did. Her breathing changed. He slowly got up and walked around the bed. Her breathing increased until she was gasping, then she cried out in pain. He put his hand on her, to let her know he was there, but as of yet, she was not arching in pain. She gasped again and again. Obi growled at her. "Stay. Alive!" To him, it looked like she was fighting against the pain. Fighting to not cry out, but it was still just the beginning. She finally gave way again. "Ah...ah…AAHHH!" her jaw clenched and she hissed.

The door behind Obi opened, then closed. He ignored it until the person spoke. "Obi. What can I do?"

He turned his head and looked at his Master with eyes that were deep with sorrow and anger. He pointed to the opposite side of the bed, where he had been before. "Stand there. When she begins to arc because of the pain, we must hold her so that she doesn't damage the hip."

Zen obediently moved into place. Ilena was continuing to hiss in pain with each breath. Zen looked at her curiously, then at Obi with the same expression. "I thought there was more than this?" he carefully tendered.

"She's fighting it." Obi said, his voice matching his expression. "She should not be aware enough to, but she is. ...There are things I must tell you, when it is over."

Zen nodded. Obi saw a tremor go through her and he placed his hands to support her hip, but waited other than that. Zen followed his example. She tremored again when Zen touched her, and she moaned three times, then cried out a sound that made Zen think of a falcon in great pain and distress. This time, she did arc. Obi, practiced, held her left hip. Zen, surprised at his first experience almost let her slip, but his fighting reflexes caught her.

When her body slightly relaxed again, Obi saw her begin to fight against it again. "No!" he almost yelled it. "Fighting it will wear you out faster. Let it run it's course."

She gave a faint shake of her head. "Dammit, Woman! This is not the time to be difficult. You do NOT have the energy. Relax, and let it run it's course! Save your energy for staying alive."

Both men felt her slowly answer him. But even as her mind relaxed its control and the pain began to sweep through her, the body tensed again in reaction to it. But now, instead of crying out, she began to weep. Zen looked up at Obi. Obi was staring at her in almost surprised horror, telling him this was also unusual behavior. Obi shook his head, trying to recover himself, then looked at Zen. "Come take my place."

Zen quickly moved around the bed. As soon has he had taken Obi's place, Obi moved to her head and held her.

The door opened again. This time it was Shirayuki. She hurried to the bedside and took the place Zen had just vacated, putting her hands into place, in her practiced usual position. She looked at Obi, then Zen in concern. "The pattern was different. What's happened?"

"He said that she's aware enough to fight it. He told her to stop fighting it, to just let it run its course so she doesn't unnecessarily wear herself out. When she let go, she began...that." Zen gestured with his head. "Obi doesn't know either."

Shirayuki answered him with a horrified expression. "She's aware?"

Zen nodded soberly. "When he first told her to let it run it's course, she refused."

Shirayuki's grip on Ilena tightened momentarily and she paled. "The pain price comes before tears, after which is awareness. They are not supposed to be mixed together. I don't think even Doctor Elliot has seen this."

Obi wasn't paying attention to their words, though their sounds and voices washed around him. It helped to anchor him. He thought back to her dream, the one that had been so different. There had been two voices who had seemed to speak to him from that dream state. The latter one was Mother... "Who is it?" He asked into her ear. "Who is it that's awake?" His voice was desperate.

Ilena gasped a few times, trying to gain sufficient control to answer. "Thailena," she answered.

"Why? Why do you fight it? Why are you here?"

"I fight. I fight to live ...as I wish to live. ...Ah...Ah…" Obi turned his head away to protect his ear.

Shirayuki gripped Ilena tighter and Zen followed suit, remembering he was on the important side now. Ilena arced and screamed a long scream. She shuddered as it wound down, then began to shiver. Shirayuki looked around and grabbed the top covering off the other bed and threw it over Ilena, giving her another layer. The shivering did not lessen.

"Mistress," Obi gestured quickly to his jacket, requesting it. She pulled it off the chair and handed it to him. He wrapped it around Ilena's head to keep in the heat there, too, then wrapped his arms around her again. She soon stopped shivering, though tremors still went through her, causing her to moan each time.

"What caused the wall to be breached?" Obi asked Ilena. "Why are you here?"

She turned her head towards him. "Because Obi and Zen are nearly ready. The question has been breached."

Obi dropped his head to the bed. "Damn. We did move to fast for you, then?"

"It is of no consequence. When you are ready, you are ready. It is only I who will hold you back, in this state."

"This state?" He turned his head towards her again.

"I must be able to...run and ride...before the next...phase...can begin." Her body was beginning to build up to it's limit for the pain again. Her breaths were coming in gasps again.

"Can I do it for you?" he almost begged the question, but he would have to wait for the answer. He turned his head away.

This time her scream was a lower "Aaaarrrggghhhh!" of almost frustration, and her jaw clenched again. Zen and Shirayuki noticed she didn't arch as much as the last time. Shirayuki looked at Zen in small relief. "She is beginning to come down from it already," she told him.

Obi shrugged the helpful comment off in frustration. He still wanted to hear what Thailena had to say, but she would probably not be available after this for some time. He asked her again. "Can I do it for you, if you cannot run or ride?"

"Sorry, no. You can help...though," a tremor went through her, interrupting her words. She gasped for a few breaths, but her body did not tense.

"How can I contact you again? I want to speak with you again," he asked her.

"When everything is in place, ...the walls will be gone. ...I...will...come again...when needed...before then." The last was whispered faintly. Obi knew she was gone.

He clung to her - his princess. As her shudders faded, his began, and he sobbed the same as he had the first day Zen had come to Osterly. But this time, the arms that comforted him were Ilena's.

"Ah, Obi," Ilena said to him as she put her arms around him. "I'm sorry. I wanted to not have to have you go through this again. ...It's okay. I will live. I will run and ride with you again."

He heard her words and wondered. "Did you hear? Are you aware of what the parts of you who are locked away say when they come out?"

"Whispers. Remnants. When I'm in states like those. They are louder now than they used to be. If I speak it so I can hear it, I remember. ...But they are always me. I'm whole. It's only the information that is locked and keyed."

Obi shivered. Tears were still dripping from his eyes. "What do you need, Obi?" she asked him.

"Princess," the word was ripped from him. "I need my Princess."

They were speaking to each other quietly, but Zen and Shirayuki couldn't help but hear, in the now quiet of the room. They looked at each other in wonder, not understanding really why this was his answer.

"I'm here, Obi. You don't need to seek me to find me. I've come to you. I promised you I would. I'll not willingly go away again."

He nodded and held her tighter, but he began to calm. Then as she began to fade, he said to her. "Do not do what you did last night again. Don't walk away to where you are hard to reach. You have found me, but you have also promised to live. Don't forget it."

She turned her head towards his face, her lips brushing him on the cheek. "I won't," she breathed. Her arms gently released him and he sat up, wiping his face dry.

"Thank you, Master Zen," Ilena said quietly and slowly, then she slept.

Shirayuki reached out her hand for Zen. He took it, then stretching to reach at the farthest point, he walked around the bed to her side. He held her briefly. "She will sleep now?" he asked quietly. She nodded into his shoulder. He sighed. "I wish I could feel like that was safe, like she was okay now, but after last night, ...I agree with Obi."

Shirayuki pulled back slightly and smiled at him. "Obi will be with her again. She'll stay for him, like she did last night."

"Well...just in case...," Zen let her go and walked over to the opposite of where Obi was. He bent down close to her ear. "Ilena. You have also promised me you will stay alive. Be obedient to Obi. Don't forget." Ilena twitched ever so slightly. "I'll take that as your positive answer." Zen said. He stood again and looked Obi in the eye. "You have things to say to me?" Obi nodded.

Zen sat down in the chair and set Shirayuki on his lap so that he could still look at Obi and wrapped his arms around her middle. She blushed a little, but, remembering her lessons with Ilena, decided to go with happy instead of super embarrassed. "Let's hear it, then," Zen said to Obi.

Obi raised his eyebrow. "Can it be informal, then? I don't think I can do anything else with you holding Mistress like a child's toy."

Zen grinned at him. "Okay." Shirayuki couldn't keep the blush down at that, but she didn't move.

Obi somehow managed to gracefully balance himself above Ilena at the head of her bed, one leg tucked in and one outstretched around her head, facing Zen and Shirayuki. He placed his fingers gently on her neck to monitor her heart beat while he spoke.

"Mistress was here for the first part. When Ilena began to enter the time to be given the dose of the Little Death, she first was in a disturbed dream state. After I had given her the dose, she was afraid, I think from the scenes in the dream. She said, 'Don't let him take me away. He is always laughing. Don't disappear.' and she clutched at me tightly. I told her that we promised we would protect her but that she needed to live so that she could tell you the things you needed to hear. She agreed and answered, 'Together we can defeat him,' so I promised we would do it together. Then she entered the expected state of pain before we administered the medication. This is important because it followed her into the following states."

Zen looked at him surprised. "Is this why things were different?"

"Yes, I believe so, but they were all triggered by your comment to her when you left this morning."

Zen thought, trying to remember. "The one where I let her know that I knew what the test would be?"

Obi nodded. "You triggered a locked question."

"I thought I might..., though I didn't expect it to have such far reaching effects. ...So her dream was about the person who knows her in Tarc?"

Obi nodded. "I believe so. It felt that way when she spoke to me. That is, it wasn't the same as when she speaks of the Earl or her uncle."

Shirayuki looked at him surprise. "Ah...?"

Zen looked at Shirayuki, trying to decide what to tell her. "Master," Obi said, "Ilena believes it's wrong to keep Shirayuki lacking in knowledge." Zen nodded.

He explained it briefly to her. "The Earl protects himself by having other people who look like him to do some of his works. One of those people Ilena learned by accident was her uncle, a bastard son of the Selician King's second wife whom he banished to Tarc. He is an evil man and knows who she is. I believe he was the one who placed her in the position of being rescued by you and Obi so that he could claim he had 'gifted' me with her so that he could request the army of Clarines to support his bid for the Selician throne. He has no rightful claim and I don't intend to speak with him on it. Ilena herself hates and fears him, more than the Earl."

Shirayuki nodded, looking sad. Ilena had very little family left, and much of what she had had contact with in her life sounded like it had been very bad. Zen continued.

"It sounds like her dream may corroborate my theory that there is another force within Tarc that is also using the uncle, even as he is using the Earl. It's that force that is the test she is preparing me for. In my parting comment to her, I was letting her know that I understood that there was a test, that it was coming from Tarc, and that person also knows who she is and is intending on using that knowledge, and her, against us. But this is all I know so far. I was also letting her know that I would wait to hear more until after we've dealt with the Earl and her uncle. ...That's why I'm surprised it triggered more information immediately."

They both looked at Obi. He nodded and continued his report. "When she began the sleep talking it was immediately different. She spoke my name and asked for me, seeking me. Not the past, but the present."

Zen breathed in a sharp breath. "The barrier was broken?"

Obi nodded, then explained to Shirayuki, "She's explained to us that, in order for the secret things she was protecting to be safe while she was under the watchful eye and ear of the Earl, she learned first to hide away the important information behind locks that need specific keys. When I ask her a question, she answers it because I'm a key. It's the same for Master. If anyone else asked her those questions, they wouldn't receive an answer." Obi paused, focusing for a moment on Ilena's heart beat, but it was normal.

"Once, Master asked me to ask her a question, specifically relating to her uncle. He had threatened her with death if she told anyone who he was, or their relationship, so she had double locked it. Because I asked her the question, she was able to see the second lock, but couldn't give me the answer. Master was with me at the time, and was the second key, so we were able to unlock both and hear the answer."

"For Master to let her know he was ready for the next piece of detailed information about the test, he unlocked one of the locks." Zen looked at him expectantly. Obi nodded again, answering his nonverbal question. "She wanted to tell me, in the sleep talking phase, that it's double locked. She said to tell you it's important. The second key is that only my voice will be heard after you ask the question. I will have to relay any questions to her."

"So...we'll both have to ask each question in her presence? She'll have to hear us both ask?"

"Yes."

"That is very tightly defended information." Zen was rather amazed.

"Because she was answering questions in the present, I asked her another one." Obi looked down at her sleeping face and brushed her hair with his hand, running his fingers lightly over her brow. After a moment, he looked back up at Zen. "I asked her why she made Obi to be Father. The one who I had been speaking with could not, or would not, answer me. I thought perhaps she had passed from the sleep talking phase, but then Mother spoke to me." He paused significantly, watching Zen's face.

Zen's face moved quickly from confusion to amazement. "She's separated the information based on what role she plays?"

Obi nodded. "The timing between the sleep talking phase and the pain payment phase is very short. At first I was confused as to why she would be fighting the pain phase. Normally she wouldn't. ...I think she is always at some level of alertness through that phase, now that I have seen this. She already naturally knows that to let it run its course is best, having lived through it many times. So I didn't understand why she would fight. But it was when Master touched her, and she reacted to it, that I understood. She was fighting it for my sake, and then for both our sakes."

"...The last 'person' I had spoken to was Mother. I didn't want her to jeopardize herself for us, when she needs to live for our sake, not weaken herself, so I commanded her to stop. But she refused. ...Mother would not have refused. I wanted to know who the other was. Who controls the information that Master needs to know to protect Clarines? And, what would she tell me? So I needed to let you help her while I talked to her."

"It's the Princess, then. I heard her tell you."

"Did you hear all of it?"

"Mmm...no. What did you ask her when she answered, 'It is of no consequence'?"

"I had asked what had breached her sleep talking wall, and she had answered it was because your comment had breached the question and we were ready to hear the answer. I asked if we had moved too fast, remembering her response to your comment. That was her answer to that question."

"So if I wanted to ask it now, she would give me the answer?" Obi nodded. "But she also said that being able to act on the answer would have to wait until she can run and ride again." Zen frowned, and Obi nodded again. "That sounds like a connection to her wanting Falcon's Hollow for horses."

"Yes," Obi agreed. "I think when you ask the question and we unlock the second lock, you'll be able to ask her that question and she will tell you."

Zen nodded. "Because it's part of the solution to the test. But because it's behind the double lock, no one else will be able to tell us." Obi nodded soberly. Zen thought about what else she'd said. "What did she answer you at the end, when you asked her how to contact her?"

"She said that 'when everything is in place the walls will be gone'. She will 'come again when needed before then'. Though afterwards she said that she is whole. It is contradictory."

"No, she said that it was only the information that's locked. She was saying there will be more information to be said, either just the answers to this next question, or to others. Each time we seek information that is locked, she will 'come again when needed'. When all the information that she is protecting has been said, there will not be a need to protect it any longer, and the walls will be gone. But I wonder what constitutes 'everything in place'?" Zen chewed on that for a moment. "I feel like it may mean more than preparing for the test. Her board includes Shirayuki becoming Princess, and I haven't been able to see how that fits with the test. But it does fit with another thing..."

Obi and Shirayuki looked at him questioningly. Zen looked at Shirayuki. "I think to her, 'everything in place' means that she has received confirmation that my brother will let her stay in the place she wants to be in. Even over protecting myself and Clarines, she wants to protect the place she wants to be in - beside Obi, behind Shirayuki, supporting and shielding myself. There are questions still to be asked and answered in that field, even if she has answered all the ones relating to the test."

Shirayuki sat up. "She answers my questions!" The men looked at her, curious. "There have been a few questions I've asked that she's answered differently, like what you've been describing. When I asked her how she felt about Obi it was like that. I found it curious that it felt the same as when Obi and I both asked her to tell us how it was she came to be on the Little Death, though I don't think that was locked information." Obi shook his head, agreeing with her. "But I think answering my question, it was locked information, some portion of it."

"Do you remember now what you asked her and what she said?" Zen asked. It had been long enough ago he didn't expect much.

Shirayuki concentrated. "It was right after Obi left to not return." Obi flinched slightly. "I asked what she'd done and she said she'd answered his questions truthfully. But then, she looked, well, ...into me and said 'I see that you care for him, thus I will tell you'. Looking at that now, it feels like that was the unlocking of a lock." She looked at Zen and Obi to see if they believed her.

They both nodded. Obi said, "That's one of her gifts, to be able to see into the heart of a person. She already knew about you from watching me and watching Master. She tested us similarly before she would answer the first questions we asked her. It could be possible, certainly, that she has keyed some locks to you."

"Each of the things she says that was locked contains important clues, Shirayuki. While it's possible the things she said then are overcome by events, if you can remember anything, I would like to know," Zen requested.

Shirayuki nodded. "She answered that question with 'he is not so much angry as he is afraid, because I know his distant past and his present, and he never wanted the two to meet'. She said that she had never meant to cause him pain, that because he'd refused her by saying he is not the person she believes him to be, to her he is not. I asked her why Obi was so afraid of his past and she answered that it was because his past was full of darkness and death and for anyone to know of his present connection to that past was to present to him his own death. Obi has himself said things to me since then that tell me this is true."

"I asked her if she was a danger to Obi. Her answer relieved me, but seemed odd. She said 'no' and, 'My only role in this life is to be a protector of others, and I've protected Obi since we were very young. He will not die, and most assuredly he will not die because of me. If I can't help him to understand because he will not, then I'll continue as before - protecting him from a distance without any acknowledgement. The one does not require the other.' The answer was so odd I have remembered it. I asked one more question. I asked 'what is Obi to you?' She seemed surprised that I'd asked her, but she answered 'the man I love and wish to stand next to the remainder of my days'. She fell asleep right after that, but I couldn't believe that she would love Obi with that wish yet at the same time be okay with him never acknowledging her while she protected him from a distance."

Zen looked at Shirayuki shrewdly. "Was it after this conversation that you decided to ask for her, to stand as Obi's partner?"

"Yes, but I had to look at Mitsuhide and Kiki first to see that it could happen that way. I was trying to think of some way to help her, while also helping him."

"She set the stage for the first, and most important, move with her answer. She knew who she was talking to," Zen leaned back a bit and thought. "If I can't help him to understand because he will not, then I'll continue as before - protecting him from a distance without any acknowledgement. The one does not require the other. ...Obi, I have answers to the remainder of what she said, but does this one have meaning to you?"

Obi seemed to blush a little, though the light was not strong enough to tell for sure. "Yes, Master. When I talked with Thayne last night before sending him away, one of the things he said was that she protects all of her Family, but her Immediate Family the most. I complained that I wasn't feeling very protected, and he scolded me, saying that not only had she not let anyone know who I was until last fall, when she let everyone know who I was at that time, everyone understood that wherever I was, I was to be protected. It doesn't matter to them that I do or do not know who they are."

"That is the 'protecting him from a distance' side, then." Zen said. "The former doesn't require the latter. Then what is the former? 'If I can't help him to understand because he will not'?"

"It is referencing my title as Father again, but this time in regard to what it means."

Zen looked at him, wide eyed. "She told you?"

Obi nodded. "I asked her why Ilena made Obi to be Father. She answered me, 'you already know it'." He touched his chest over his heart. "My heart answered she was right, but I still couldn't - didn't - want to see it. I asked her 'when did I understand it'? She answered, 'when you first loved my Children', and she asked me again to love her Children."

Zen was still confused and waited for Obi to explain further. "They are like me. They have lived in the darkness, have tasted of her love and light, and they thrive or fail based on her life and light. When I am with them, I have compassion on them, the same as she did and does. I desire to protect them, the same as she does. When they speak of her, I understand them. Many of them who know me have said that we are the same, or similar. They learn to love me very quickly as they love her."

"It is a direct reference to her prior statement, 'My only role in this life is to be a protector of others'. I am Father because she wishes to protect them. She has set them to protect me, the same as they protect her, and she has set me to protect them...from her own eventual death or when she is taken from out of her place to be put somewhere far from them. I am Father because I can be to them the parent she may not be able to be. Even if I did not come to understand this, or would not stand in that place, if they all believe that is what I am, they will still have a parent to cling to. If she lives and can stand in her place, we will be Father and Mother together to them, and they will be none the wiser."

Shirayuki looked like she was trying to not cry. Zen was stunned. "Even before she knew she was going to be harmed and placed with us, she was protecting them in this way?" Obi nodded. "Why? Why would she already know...? Was it because she had finally removed the last good out of the house?"

"Maybe..., but I'm afraid," Obi said. Zen looked at him. "It is the rest of what she said to Mistress. That she has protected me since we were very young is true, but why did she say 'he will not die, and most assuredly he will not die because of me'? I don't believe it's because of the Earl, nor even the uncle. It is Master who will ensure I do not die at their hands."

Zen's eyes went wide. "The force in Tarc knows who you are?"

Obi shook his head. "I don't think so. I don't know anyone from Tarc, nor have ever had an opportunity to. I think it has to do with the position she placed me in from the beginning, and her desire to protect me the way she has since we were young. Master, what does the force in Tarc want with her and Clarines, or Wilant?"

"To own it, and rule it as his own, the same as he rules Selicia. A puppet government would be enough for him, but Ilena stands in his way." Zen answered automatically, then went back and thought about what he'd just said, and his eyes got as round as Obi's were after hearing that. "Oh, my. If he has to get to Ilena, he has to go through you. Whether he will use her the same as the uncle, to grant him legitimacy for both kingdoms, or whether he will remove her after removing me because she's a thorn in his side. He doesn't have to know who you are. If you've been placed to protect her he has to go through you."

Obi nodded. "You have answered my fear. She has said it. Before she can become the cause of a war, she will remove herself as a playing piece on the board. She will sacrifice herself before she will sacrifice me, and probably before she will sacrifice you." He placed a hand protectively on Ilena's head.

Zen and Shirayuki both went pale. Zen's hand went into a fist. "She can't. I won't let her have the need."

Obi asked gently, "If that was the solution King Brother asked for, because she is too high ranking a piece, even higher than he is, would you be able to say 'no'?"

Zen paled even further. "Why do you say that, Obi?" he said in a quiet, strangled voice. "Why do you place her higher than he is?" His brain did not want to accept it.

Obi looked sad. "Because she can make one man into a king of three nations."

Zen closed his eyes and was quiet for some time. Shirayuki turned and put her arms around him and held him. He buried his head into her shoulder and trembled. Shirayuki looked for anything to say, then she said simply. "Zen, Ilena already knows this. She has already begun moving to prevent it. She herself has said that she will live if she can, standing in the place she wishes to stand. That is where she wants to be. We've promised to help her be in that place, so we've already promised to protect her from that fate. It's not wrong of her to desire to protect her Children...and all of us. All good parents think of their children's futures, but that doesn't mean such things must come. As you want her to trust you to protect her, you should also trust her, that she wants to protect you and her desires."

Obi added his support. "She said to me, when I asked her why she was fighting the pain of the Little Death, that she fights. She said she fights to live as she wishes to live. Everything she does is so that she can do the thing you have said. She fights always and most to protect her desire to stand next to Obi, behind Mistress, and supporting and protecting Master. In her dream, she said he is 'always laughing'. She sees him as formidable, but she said that 'together', we can defeat him. If Master, and Obi, and Mistress, and King Brother, and Mister, and Miss Kiki, and the Family are all fighting together, we can defeat him."

Zen took a breath, then another. "It is not a burden I need to pick up today," his voice was muffled in Shirayuki's shoulder. "It will wait. She will let me know when time shortens, and we have until she can ride before we must begin to act." His voice was getting stronger as he listed the position they were in at the moment. "I can think of things that will help as time passes. But for now, it is important to take the next step, that of removing the Earl and uncle, lest they remain his allies, and additional thorns for Clarines."

You could just give her to one of them. That would remove her from the board, a sacrificed piece, but still living. It was his brother's voice. Zen shook his head at the phantom of his brother. That would not be living. Sacrificed, yes, but not living. "You're right, Obi, my brother did just ask if I would sacrifice her, as if he had been standing here." Shirayuki tightened her grip on him. She was afraid of the King. "He said to me, why not just give her to one of them? That would remove her from the grasp of the man who would be emperor. She would be a sacrificed piece, but still living."

Now it was Shirayuki's turn to tremble, but Zen lifted his head and looked at Obi, his eyes dark and piercing, as he had looked when he'd gone looking for Shirayuki when she had been double kidnapped. "I will never do that. Ilena has thought of a plan, has a solution. She has come to me, trusting me to be able to make it even better. She is sure of her path, though it may be rough. I will help to make it smooth. We will grant her desires. She will not be sacrificed. That would be my failure. The test will only be acceptably passed if we can place her where she desires to be. I will ask you again. I will take her with me. Will you support it?" He looked at Shirayuki as well.

They both nodded. They loved Ilena also. Zen stood, his strength restored. He continued to hold on to Shirayuki's hand. "While I don't know yet why having you as my princess very soon is part of her plan, let's work on it very seriously." Then he paused and looked at her again. "Besides, it's already too late for me. I wish I could take you to my room tonight. I'm sorry I'm impatient. Thank you for supporting me tonight."

Shirayuki squeezed his hand. "I'm also impatient, but for now I must wait on Ilena to recover. Though, I will do all I can while I wait. But..." She smiled at him, "I will not come to your room tonight."

Zen smiled back at her. "I didn't expect you would. Let me walk you back to your room, though." She nodded.

"Be safe," Obi called to them as they left. And after the door was closed, added, "...though it would be nice if you weren't."

He lifted himself from the bed carefully, prepared for bed, and once again lay next to Ilena, placing his fingers again on her neck to feel her life blood still moving through her - proof that she was keeping her promise. He sighed. What a complicated woman. It was a good thing she was his.