Author's Note: Well, the dashes are gone again. (Sad.) I guess we will have to go with the xxxxxxxxx.

Many continued thanks for the encouragement and feedback. I have no idea why, but I'm back on track. Guess it's best not to ask questions.

Let's all do the wave for crashcmb. Everybody stand up on 1…2….3.

Very good. Now on with the story that may or may not ever end.

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Best of Intentions

Chapter Twenty-Four

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Borrowing a chapter from the "Ryan Atwood Book of Reactions To Uncomfortable Situations", Seth lays on the couch with no intention of speaking to anyone.

Ignoring the kid.

Ignoring Ryan.

"Seth, things are a mess."

Seth rolls over, turning his back to Ryan. Fuck it. If Ryan is actually thinking about just abandoning him for this new guy and his stupid kids than just fuck it. Whatever. It's painfully clear where he stands on Ryan's list of important people.

"I'll let you sleep," he hears Ryan say softly. But he can feel his foster brother still behind him, lingering.

"Seth, this is all really hard. I just, I…"

Seth pulls his blanket up, says coldly, "I have a headache, can you please shut off the damn Playstation."

"Come on Brad," he hears Ryan click off the TV and exit the living room.

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Carol offers to take Josh for a while.

Ed accepts, stating that he has a few things he needs to take care of.

After her brother brings Josh to her room, she waits a little while before asking the boy, "Are you ok?"

Josh flops down on the bed. "No," he answers gloomily.

Carol takes a deep breath, sits down next to him.

"When your father first told me about Ryan, I was angry with him."

Josh stares at his hands but asks hesitantly, "You were?"

"Yes," Carol nods, "I was furious. I thought he had lied to your mother, to all of us. I thought he had betrayed his family."

Josh looks at her, "You did?"

"Absolutely. This is scary Josh. Even for me, and it doesn't directly affect me like it does you."

"Are you still mad at him?"

Carol considers the question. "Not really. Your father didn't know about Ryan, Josh, not until a few days ago. But I can understand if you're still angry with him."

They sit in silence.

He scoots a little closer to her.

"You know Josh, you and Ryan have a few things in common."

Besides just a father.

Carol puts her arm around her nephew's shoulder and the boy finishes closing the gap that separates them, sitting side by side to her.

"For instance, Ryan doesn't live with his mother. And from the few times I've met him, I'd say he doesn't much like to talk about what's happening inside his head, maybe has some trouble, like you, trying to get people to understand what he's thinking."

"Is his mom dead?" Josh asks.

"No," Carol shakes her head. "She left Ryan with the Cohens."

"Is he weird? I mean why would somebody just give up their kid?"

"I'm not really sure. Maybe Ryan's mother was having trouble and she was overwhelmed. Maybe she didn't have anyone to help her, like your father has me. You know Josh, if he wanted to be, Ryan could probably be angry all the time too. Sweetie, he's had a really tough life, much harder than yours. I know you miss your mom, and things with your father are difficult right now, but honey you have a wonderful home with people who love you and keep you safe and allow you to be a child. Next time you see Ryan, I want you to remember that he hasn't been as lucky as you."

Josh squirms a little, looks away from her.

"But most importantly Josh, I really want you to think about the kind of person your mother was, and how she tried to raise you, to respect and care about people."

He sits quietly for a few minutes before telling her, "I'm gonna' start being nicer to Brad," mutters, "and maybe dad."

Carol was hoping for a last, reluctant, "and Ryan", but she'll settle for this for right now. It's the most positive thing she's heard from him in months.

"That'd be wonderful Josh."

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Brad sits at the kitchen counter looking at Ryan.

"Did I do something wrong?" he asks.

"No," Ryan answers quietly.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah," Ryan dismisses Brad's concerns. "Seth doesn't feel well."

Brad looks around the kitchen, spots the patio.

"That's your pool?"

"Yep," Ryan nods, glances in the direction of the living room where Seth is staging a sleep-in.

"Can I go swimming?" Brad asks.

"Do you have a bathing suit?"

"No."

The two boys stare at each other.

"So, can I go swimming?" Brad asks again, smirking mischievously.

Ryan smiles. "Sure."

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Sandy and Kirsten observe them from the kitchen.

Ryan is reclining in a lounger, sporting trunks and a t-shirt, reading a book.

Brad, stripped down to his jean shorts, does a back flip into the pool.

He's fearless.

"He could crack his head open," Kirsten cautions.

"He won't," Sandy assures her, places his cup into the sink.

"Where are you going?" Kirsten asks him as he exits the kitchen.

"Outside," Sandy answers, lowers his head and laughs to himself. "This whole time I've been concentrating on Ed Carden. It's about time I dealt with the real competition."

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"Is this seat taken?" he asks Ryan, pointing to the empty chair next to him.

Ryan sits up, glances nervously at Sandy.

"So, Ryan," Sandy waves a hand at Brad, "pictures do not do that kid justice. Yeah, sure, I mean in the photo I saw of him, he looked like you but, seeing the live version is…"

"Weird?" Ryan asks, grimacing, "Strange, abnormal?"

"I was going to say interesting, but I suppose those descriptors are as good as any."

Brad notices Sandy and climbs out of the pool, wet feet slapping the concrete as he performs the infamous, 'I'm not really running next to the pool but just walking fast'.

"Can we go surfing now?" Brads asks, his teeth chattering as his skin acclimates itself to a post pool breeze.

"About that.." Sandy starts.

"Not gonna' happen?" Brad finishes.

"I don't think so," Sandy shakes his head.

"No problem," Brad heads back to the pool.

"Hey," Sandy shouts after him. "I'm thinking about grilling up some lunch. Would you like a hamburger?"

Sandy watches with interest as Brad considers the question and then shifts his gaze to Ryan. The older boy nods, says quietly, "It's ok."

"Yes please," Brad answers, scoots off to the other side of the pool.

"He already looks up to you," Sandy comments to Ryan.

"What?" Ryan asks confused.

"Just now, with the hamburger. He wasn't going to tell me 'yes' until he got your approval. He's already looking to you as someone with authority, as someone who matters."

Ryan stares blankly in the direction of the pool.

"I take it you hadn't noticed?" Sandy persists with the subject.

Ryan drops his head, "Uh, no."

"I've been thinking about this morning Ryan, our conversation in the kitchen."

The teen shifts his position in the seat, his body stiffens.

"I came on a little too strong and I'm sorry. I was out of line. As hard as the last few days have been on me Ryan, they've been impossible on you. Seth's illness, Ed's appearance, these kids suddenly thrust on you. I don't know how you do it kid. It's like you have an extra gene designed solely to help you cope with incredibly difficult situations. But sometimes you worry me Ryan, because I wonder if you are actually coping or just passively accepting things you feel powerless to control. There is a difference you know, between coping and just giving up."

Ryan doesn't respond, but he's listening. Sandy knows this kid's body language well enough by now. He has Ryan's attention.

"Kirsten has been very careful, since the beginning of all this, to make sure I keep your best interests in mind. Did you know that?"

Ryan shakes his head no, glances up at Sandy with a combination of sad and uncertainty.

Those eyes.

Ryan has the most expressive eyes of any kid he's ever met.

Ryan's eyes aren't just a window to his soul; they're a freaking roadmap.

No wonder he usually shields them.

"Well, she's working behind the scenes. You should be somewhat familiar with that approach."

Ryan smiles a sheepish grin.

"Anyway, she's very good about reminding me that all this is about you and not my or Ed Carden's egos."

Ryan side-glances him, more questioning and intrigued now, less of the sad.

"And she's very big on keeping me from bad-mouthing Ed, which in retrospect, I have to admit she's right about. It's absolutely irresponsible of me to do anything that might affect your relationship with this man Ryan, especially now, now that it's glaringly obvious that you are his biological son."

"Ryan, hey, watch this," Brad calls out. The little boy runs to the edge of the pool and dives onto a floating chair, skims the entire length of the pool.

"That was great man," Ryan encourages the boy. "But be careful on the concrete, don't crack your head open."

Sandy watches Ryan watching Brad.

The teenager's mood is instantly lifted for the few seconds he's engaged in conversation with the little boy. As he returns his attention to Sandy, his mood resumes a sullenness.

"But I have a few concerns Ryan, a few things I want you to think about, and I need to share them with you. I'm not trying to take advantage of my relationship with you to cast a shadow on Ed, so if you prefer to not hear what I have to say, I understand and this is the last time I'll bring it up."

Ryan fidgets with his book, opening and closing the cover.

"Do you want me to go ahead Ryan?" Sandy asks.

The teen nods, then says a soft, "Yes."

"I think Ed Carden is confused right now Ryan. I think he's desperate to make up the years he's lost with you. I think he feels guilty as hell and now he's doing everything he can to make himself feel better and to say it bluntly, that means convincing you to live with him."

Ryan closes the book, pushes it aside, stares at Sandy.

Sandy moves forward in his chair, shifts a little closer to Ryan, makes eye contact while he can, before the kid breaks it off.

"And I don't think he's even aware of his true motivations. I think he's all military, take charge, approach the problem with a solution. In his eyes, your father is in jail, your mother abandoned you with your lawyer and he's biologically responsible for you. I'm sure he thinks having you live with him is the closest thing he can do to make amends for his past actions, somehow absolve himself of sin. He's not being fair to himself Ryan, because I don't believe for one minute that Ed Carden would have ever left your mother in Fresno if he knew she was pregnant with his baby. Despite all my reservations concerning how he has handled this situation Ryan, my first impression of Ed was that he was a good guy."

"Ryan, will you race me across the pool?"

Brad's request interrupts Sandy.

Ryan raises a hand to his eyes, squints into the sun, tells Brad, "Um, in just a minute ok? Can you wait for a couple of minutes?"

"Ok," Brad shouts back, dives under the water.

"You doing all right? Should I keep going?" Sandy asks hesitantly. "Do you want to take a break? Go play with the kid?"

"No," Ryan shakes his head, "I'm good."

"Where was I?" Sandy asks out loud, tells himself, 'Oh, that's right, walking a fine line'.

"Yeah, so, I don't think Ed can see past his own guilt right now to make sure that what he is proposing, what he is pushing for, is really what is best for you. He's smart Ryan. So smart. I'm guessing now I know where your test scores come from. Don't you think it's a little bit more than a coincidence that his kids are out here all of a sudden, that he wanted you to meet them? You're an intelligent kid Ryan. Think about it. I don't know what else this guy has told you, in private, without Kirsten and I around, but I do know that every time you see Ed Carden, talk to him, you come back just a little more unsure of your place in my family. I'm wondering what he is saying to you, how much he is pressuring you, in both obvious and subversive ways. Ed knew days ago, when Seth was in the hospital, that it was wrong to come into this house, and put you into his car, but he did it anyway. Sure he apologized afterwards, but it didn't stop him, did it? And he encouraged you to continue to communicate with him behind my and Kirsten's backs. I know he said something to you yesterday, at the beach, and I know that the chances of you telling me what he said are slim to none."

Sandy stops talking, watches Ryan for a sign that the teenager might want to tell him anything about his most recent encounter with Carden. But Ryan doesn't appear to have any desire to contribute to the conversation, so Sandy plows on.

"When I first met Ed on Thursday, he struck me as a guy that had just been blind-sighted and was desperately trying to process what had happened. I think that he's still that panicked, shocked guy, Ryan. Basically a nice man, maybe trying to force a solution onto a problem he hasn't had adequate time to grasp or understand."

Ryan keeps his head down but Sandy reaches for his face, turns it so the teen is forced to look at him.

"You have a right to these people Ryan and they have a right to you. You have a right to want to know them and vice versa. And I'm listening to you, right now as you sit in this chair. You brought this little boy home to show me what you're dealing with, the pressure that you are under. I get what you're trying to tell me kid. I hear what you're not saying. I'm working really hard at this mind reading thing. But rushed decisions, made out of guilt, or a misguided sense of duty, rarely work out. Guilt Ryan, I'm talking about you, and I'm talking about Ed."

Sandy pauses for a moment, puts his hand on Ryan's arm.

"I brought you into this home on an impulse, but it was never out of guilt. Kirsten and I asked you to stay not because Dawn left you, but because we wanted you. I've told you that before. If it hasn't sunk in at this point, I don't know what else to say. Someone has to let up on you Ryan, someone has to back off, so at this moment, I'm done, I'm stepping aside. Kirsten and I will support whatever you decide. I'm only asking that you do the same favor for Kirsten that I promised her I would do, keep your own best interests in mind. Do what your gut tells you to do. But be honest, and please, I am begging you, do not allow what you feel is best for anyone else dictate your decision. Not this time Ryan, not with your future. This is too important. Just this once, you be completely selfish and don't consider anyone's needs but your own. Not me, not Ed, not Seth, not even that kid in the pool. Appeasement isn't going to work this time Ryan, there's too many people involved. Not everyone is going to walk away from this one happy kid, not even yourself, and that's not your fault. Just do the best you can do, be as honest to yourself as you can be. Don't worry about anyone but Ryan Atwood."

He slaps Ryan once on the arm, points to the pool, "I already cancelled on the surfing, cut the kid a break and race him. I'm going to go start lunch."

Ryan acknowledges Sandy's shift in gears with a nod, stands up, takes his shirt off.

Before he goes to the pool, Sandy asks him, "I've learned so much Ryan, in my time as a public defender, seeing the mistakes kids and their parents make. Do you know what stands out the most?"

"No," Ryan shakes his head, stares out at Brad as he waits for the answer.

Sandy takes the shirt from his hand, folds it before placing it on his foster son's lawn chair.

"I've learned Ryan, that sometimes there are no easy solutions, no easy formula to some of the challenges life throws at us. And even the best of intentions can lead to the wrong answers."

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To be continued……………………

Thanks for reading.