Sorry guys, this one is a bit shorter than usual. Between work and my sister's graduation I didn't have time to add more to it. I do hope you like it. Let me know what you think.
Brennan hated relationships. She hated love and trust and forgiveness and all of those ridiculous, messy and useless emotions. They just made things complicated when they did not need to be. They were a nuisance. And she did not have the time or patience for such pointless and foolish distractions. She did not want to be bothered with it any longer. After all, it is just something of which leads to pain. Why in the world would someone consistently put themselves in such a position of which they could simply be harmed, time and time again. Stupid people, that is who. And Temperance Brennan was genius, not an idiot.
There were these people though, these people that liked to constantly tell her love and trust made life worth it all. They told her that it makes you who you are and brings your heart (metaphorically speaking) to life. They made it sound wonderful, perfect, beautiful. When in fact it was nothing but lies. They were manipulating the situation to make her see it their way. In all actuality she was right though. After all, she was the genius. She was the one who saw things with logic and determined the situation through her rational findings as opposed to absurd feelings.
She needed those people to stop trying to block her logical mindset and destroy her way of life. She was not distant or cold as everyone thought, but merely more intelligent than all of those around her who were not wise enough to be content with what they have in life. She had a wonderful job, a brilliant mind, a best selling book series and plenty of money. She lived a very fulfilling and useful life. She did not need any singular person beside her in order to make her life more significant or pleasant. She was happy by herself.
That is the reason why her previous partner Seeley Booth could no longer be with her. He was one of those people who kept trying to change her and make her "open up" or "live life to the fullest." He was ruining everything she had worked so hard for, all of that rational thinking she was so prided in having. His involvement in her life had to cease. If anything were an indication of this need, it would be what had happened over the past few weeks. That is not how she should behave nor is it how she should feel. Besides, it is not as though her presence in his life was importuned. He clearly did not need her around at all, or want. Surely he would be fine on his own and even so she had no obligation to him to carry on with their partnership any longer.
Her damn involuntary tear ducts filled, they managed to track down her face without any consent from her mind. She was grateful no one was in the room currently. She could not allow anyone to see her like this any more. Brennan wanted to be done with all of these tears and all of this hurt. She was never supposed to experience this again. After her childhood, her parent's voluntary disappearance, she swore to not allow herself to be fooled ever again. Yet she had, and she hated herself for it.
She didn't want to love him, care about him, hold a reverence for his life and well being. She did not want to miss him. She could not handle these things, they were not for her. She was about science. The truth, facts, laws, answers, no curious unknowns allowed.
Isaac Newton's third law: For every action there is a reaction equal in magnitude and opposite in direction. Meaning with love came hate, with joy came suffering, peace came with turmoil. It meant expectations came with disappointment and with trust came the constant ability for someone to break you apart. It meant that the more she loved the more she would be hurt, the more she trusted the harder she would fall. She was one to live her life by science and this was a scientific fact. Why should she try to dispute a known fact to only be let down repeatedly?
Her most reason bought of foolishness had left her with a pain in her heart and a hole in life itself, further proof to carry out this fact. It was not worth it, she knew that even more now despite the words that still echoed in her head. "It is worth it and everything surrounding it is worth it." Booth had been wrong. He may see it as worth it in his life, may believe that love could conquer all and that only significant others could make life whole, but he was wrong. Perhaps it may just be wrong for her specifically. It may just be her own fault. Her own disability to accept all of those ridiculous things for what they were and live them to the fullest. Maybe she was just incapable of being loved the way some people are, forever.
"What do you think you're doing?" Angela demands as she comes bursting through the hospital door. Suddenly, the calming Angela was long gone and had now been replaced by full on dramatic Angela.
"I'm using my brain, Ange," is all she bothers to reply with, not even trying to pretend to not understand what she is talking about.
"Do you know what he did for you? Do you know he nearly got himself killed to try and keep you safe?" Brennan's head was pounding enough already from the stress and injuries on their own, she hardly needed someone yelling at her.
"No, I do not know anything about that matter but as far as I have come to gather it would so appear that you knew plenty about this." Her voice was harsh, taking on the same tone she had with Booth earlier. She felt lied to by those of which were closest to her, as though all of this information was being kept from her this entire time. "I don't appreciate being lied to."
"Bren, listen, no one's been lying to you. It is all a really long story and Booth himself should really be the one to explain." Brennan sent her a glare, ignoring the pain that shot through her neck as she turned her head so sharply.
"I don't want to hear stories or explanations or excuses. I am perfectly fine and would really like to be alone so I could rest now." She flopped her head down on to the pillows, closing her eyes and keeping them shut.
"Don't start doing this. Compartmentalisation is not going to just change things. You don't know half the story."
"Angela," Brennan says, her voice raising a few decibels and therefore aching her throat some. "Right now I do not need lectures. I am a grown woman and have severe injuries. All I wish is to heal properly so that I may return to work as soon as possible. If you intend to stay here then I suggest you leave this subject alone as I do not desire to discus it."
"Sweetie...Okay," she agrees, clearly giving it some thought and figuring the best course of action. "Just don't shut him out for too long. I know he hurt you, but he really deserves to give his side of the story."
"I want to rest," is all she says and then closing her eyes again, trying to pretend she was about to drift off to sleep. All the while ignoring the pain coursing through her body and shooting through her heart. She exchanged pondering over Booth's most recent actions for a debate with herself over taking the pain medication or holding on to her pride, whatever semblance of it was left anyhow, and trying to stick it out.