A/N Stephenie Meyer's owns all Twilight characters

I lol'd at lots of the comments for the last chapter...now you know it wouldn't a wedding without at least a pinch of angst and drama...so onto the Edward-wife look a like thing..think about it...Bella was his life for soo long, and then he pretty much threw her away and realized he just lost the best thing that ever happened to him, and when he couldn't get her back he got the next best thing..someone who looked enough like her and that he thought he could mold into something akin to Bella 2.0...or something like that. I don't know if you guys care, but I will put the links to Bella's dress at the bottom so if you want to check it out you can. And last, gianormo (so not a word, shut up I know) to my amazing beta, ShelbySue, who totally told me when things were sucking (and I thank her so much for that) and she even wrote the exchange between Bella & Esme and someother things...I'd tell you but it would spoil it..so..big hugs to her for keeping it real...she rocks so thank her too!

So I'm gonna shut up now so you can read..lol.

MAY

"Bella!" Alice called. "Bella, come out and show me that dress right now!"

I glanced in the mirror and grimaced. I looked like mermaid Barbie. The dress, which looked great on the hanger, looked like a taffeta sack on me.

"Bella!" Alice called again.

"I'm not coming out. I look…well…ridiculous." I grimaced again and reached, struggling, for the zipper on the back of the dress.

"Well I'm coming in." The door pushed open and Alice's scrunched face was reflected in the mirror. "Ew you're right, that does look bad. Quick, take it off."

She unzipped the dress and helped me slip out of it. I hung it back on the hanger while Alice went to get the next dress from the saleswoman.

I stared in the mirror while I waited for Alice to bring the next dress all the while thinking about everything I still had left to do. There was still so much left to do and not a lot of time to get it done. It was almost the third week of May and I was just now getting around to getting a wedding dress. I'd looked at almost every dress shop in Seattle and hadn't found anything that I liked; or anything that fit the ideal wedding dress in my head.

The dresses were either too poofy, too sparkly, or just too unlike me. I was a simple girl, with simple tastes who was having a simple summer wedding under a canopy of flowers. I wanted a dress that was simple and elegant and me – all at the same time.

I sighed. The past month had been hectic. I'd had six interviews with six different companies and none of them had been what I was looking for. The hours were crazy or the work wasn't what I was looking for so I had turned them all down. But truth be told, I was still holding out for the internship at Interior Design magazine.

I knew getting that internship was a long shot. Three weeks had passed since I applied and I hadn't heard a thing. I knew that my chances were slim to begin with and each day that went by that I didn't hear back from them meant my chances were getting slimmer and slimmer. But still I waited.

On a more personal note, things with Jake were strange to say the least. The first week of May was tense. The second one was worse. It started out as just a bunch of little things. He would take every comment I made personally.

If I had a bad day and made a comment about it he would mumble little comments under his breath. I never quite caught his comments; but it seemed like he was doing it to piss me off and then an innocuous comment on my part would escalate into a full scale argument.

And he started drinking again.

Well, no. Jake drank, he would have a beer while watching a basketball or football game, he would have a beer if we had something like steak for dinner. That was no big deal, but his drinking habits changed I guess would be a better way of describing it.

About an hour and a half before bed, he would guzzle down beer after beer. The sizzling snap of a can of beer opening became the soundtrack to my evenings.

At first I thought the stress of getting married and working on his second show was getting to him; but deep down part of me knew it was something more.

When I asked him about it he blew me off and said he was fine then mumbled those damn comments under his breath. We got into a huge fight, because I asked him if he was fine, and didn't talk for most of the day. He acted wounded and claimed that I didn't trust him, that I assumed he was going back to the way he was before therapy, before me.

I felt like I was walking on eggshells anytime I was home, or around him. I was starting to feel like I was living with Edward again.

And, even after all that, here I was, waiting for my best friend to bring me a wedding dress. There was a knock at the door. I cracked the door and peeked out. A long white dress stared back at me.

I snatched the dress from Alice. "Bella," she gushed. "I swear to god if this isn't the dress for you, let me know and it can be the dress for me. It is gorgeous."

I unzipped the dress and stepped into it. "Alice, can you zip me up?"

Alice tugged the zipper, it made a soft hiss as it slid up the back of the gown. I gasped as I glanced in the mirror. The all over beaded lace gown was the same cut as the mermaid dress, but the empire waist and cap sleeves made the overall appearance more flattering.

"Oh my god Bella, this has got to be the dress. It couldn't be any more perfect if your fairy godmother poofed it out of the universe especially for you," Alice breathed.

"I know," I murmured running my hands over the finely beaded front of the dress. It was the perfect dress, simple and elegant and me. I turned to look at the back of the dress. It was cut into a low 'v' that dipped down to my lower back.

"Come out and look in the three way mirror," Alice said.

I followed her out and stepped up onto the platform situated in front of the mirrors. The dress looked even better out here. I turned from side to side, admiring the way the fabric swished down past my ankles.

"This is the one," I said, tearing my eyes from the mirror. "This is the dress I've been looking for."

Alice grinned. "Well, halle-freaking-lujah! Want me to go get the saleslady while you change?"

I nodded and stepped down off the platform while Alice darted off down a short, pastel pink hallway.

I paid for the dress and collected my receipt. In four to six weeks I had to come back and have it altered. I kept asking the saleswoman if it would be in by the sixteenth of July, she assured me it would be and that I had nothing to worry about.

Alice and I left the dress store. I was worried that my dress wouldn't be in and altered in time for the wedding. We went back to her house where I could hide out for a few hours before going home to face Mr. My-Middle-Name-is-Denial.

"You know I have to find a way to thank you," I said to Alice.

"For what?" she asked clearly puzzled.

"For helping me do all this. For being my best friend, helping me plan the wedding, not disowning me after the fiasco with your brother. I don't know what I'd do without you."

"I do it because I love you. And seriously, Edward is a dummy. Ooh, did I tell you what happened?"

My curiosity was now piqued. Edward had faltered a lot in the few short months he'd been married. Alice settled into the couch, moving pillows and making herself comfortable.

"Okay, you are going to love this. He and Monica, that's his wife's name by the way, were having dinner with my parents last weekend and Mom was telling this story about him; something from high school or whatever, and it was one of those embarrassing stories moms tell. Well Monica is laughing, just laughing her pretty little head off and Edward gets mad and he blurts out "stop laughing, it isn't funny Bella." And Monica stops laughing immediately, and Mom and Dad are sitting there mouths hanging open, just shocked. And poor Monica bursts into tears and runs, crying, from the dining room. Edward sat there at a total loss; like he had no idea what he said."

I shook my head, appalled and amused all at the same time.

"I think he married her because she's so much like you. I told you she looks like you didn't I?"

I nodded. "You did. And if he did then I'm sorry for her. She doesn't deserve that."

Alice shrugged. "Well that's what you get for marrying someone you barely know." Then her jaw dropped. "Oh Bella, I don't mean you. I mean you know Jake…I didn't mean that towards you guys. I just wasn't thinking."

"Alice, its fine, don't worry about it. I'm starting to wonder if marrying Jake is the right thing to do."

Her eyes almost popped out of her head. "Are you nuts? I've never seen two people more made for each other. You guys are like, destined to be together. You're perfect for each other."

I shrugged. "Yeah, well, perfect or not, some things have changed and not for the better."

"Like what?"

"He's been drinking. And not just a beer here or there, but several beers, right before bed. Like an hour before he goes to bed he just sits there cracking can after can of beer open. If I ask what's going on, he snaps at me. He will make little comments and just say stuff and try to goad me into fighting with him. Then he acts like the victim and I'm the big meanie trying to steal his lunch money. He won't talk to me and I have no idea what the hell is wrong. I'm just worried and quite frankly I'm tired of the bullshit."

"Maybe he's just stressed, you know the wedding and all. Just keep trying to talk to him. I'm sure you two can work this out."

I nodded. I really hoped we could work it out. Not just because we were getting married in a month and a half month but because I loved him so much and I couldn't imagine living without him.

JPOV

May.

The shittiest month of the year. This year it was determined to take that title to a whole other level.

Bella had been running around all over Seattle trying to find a job and plan a wedding and I had been sulking.

I had seen this month coming and as it crept closer my attitude and demeanor grew nastier and nastier and the shitty part was I took it out on Bella, who, out of this whole mess was the most innocent party.

On the second of May, the phone rang. Bella was at an interview for an interior design store downtown and I was home alone. I answered it and immediately regretted it. It was Sue Clearwater, Leah's mom.

"Hello Jacob," she said her voice weary with grief.

"Sue," I replied, wondering why the hell she was calling me. I hadn't talked to any of the Clearwater's, not Harry or Sue or even Seth, since the accident almost three years ago.

"I was calling," she said with a shaky voice, "to let you know that Harry and I have decided it's time to let Leah go. We are turning off the life support on the 16th."

I stood their mutely. I didn't know if they picked that date on purpose or not, but it stung nevertheless. "I'm, um, I- I uh, I'm sorry to hear that," I finally choked out.

"I just thought you might like to know. There will be a funeral on the 18th." She gave me the name and location of the funeral home. I numbly wrote it down on a sheet of paper and shoved it into my pocket.

Then I processed my emotions in the only way I really knew how. I drank and isolated myself from the one person who loved me, even when she had seen me at my worst.

I pushed her away and was nasty to her and each night when I went to bed I was still amazed that Bella lay beside me. I knew she wouldn't for much longer if I didn't tell her what was going on with me but honestly I was embarrassed by what I was feeling.

Embarrassed and afraid. Leah was my ex-wife and of course there would always be some part of me that cared for, perhaps even loved, her. She was my wife for two years. I understood it, but deep down I wasn't sure Bella would.

The nagging little voice in the back of my head told me that she was a woman and no way would she understand the rampant emotions I was feeling. How could she? I know if she came home and told me that something happened to Edward and she was upset I would be a little jealous and a lot pissed off. Well maybe. I can sit here and say that's how I'd feel, but the truth is, until you're in that situation you don't know how you're going to feel.

I thought I was over Leah and, while I knew this day would eventually come, I didn't expect to feel this way. I thought I had put all this- the accident, the death, Leah, behind me. Apparently that wasn't true. After almost three weeks of feeling sorry for myself it all came to a head the night before Leah's funeral.

That night I was on the couch watching Death Race when Bella came home. She set her purse on the table and her keys clinked into the burnt orange ceramic bowl that sat on the edge of the sideboard by the front door. Next, she would take off her shoes and make this little sound in the back of her throat, a sound that every time I heard it, made me think she was happy to be free of her shoes.

I didn't say anything to her. I just sat there watching Jason Statham cream the competition and plot revenge against the prison guard who killed his family. I felt bad for the dude, being able to empathize with the loss of his family.

Bella sat down in the arm chair by the couch and stared at me, her eyes boring into my forehead. After about five minutes of her death stare I turned off Death Race and turned to face her.

"I want to know what's going on with you," she said firmly.

I shrugged. "Nothing. I'm fine. What makes you think there's something wrong?"

She rolled her eyes. "Really Jake. You're fine? I've seen you fine and you fine doesn't drink like a fish. You fine doesn't snap at me for the stupidest little thing. You fine doesn't start stupid and asinine arguments with me for no reason. This is not you fine."

I shrugged again. "Maybe you need your eyes checked because there is nothing wrong."

Oops, wrong thing to say, I knew it was. I wanted to tell her what was going on, really I did, but I was so damn afraid she wouldn't understand that I did the only thing I knew how to do. I pushed her away, kept her locked out and out of the loop. I struggled against the overwhelming fear and opened my mouth to tell her everything. Bella stood, anger flashed in her chocolate eyes.

"Maybe you need your eyes checked. Or your name changed. Maybe I should start calling you Edward, because that's who you're acting like."

I took it, even if it was a low blow, because I deserved it. She was right and I was being an asshole. I was intentionally hurting her, just like Edward had done. We were both having affairs with other women. Even if mine was an in my head emotional thing, it was still hurting her.

"You know what?" she asked, her voice quivering. "If you're "fine" then I can't marry you. Because for one you're lying to yourself and you're lying to me. Your acting just like you did when I first met you. Something happened because right now you're trying to push me away. So here's your stupid ring, and I guess I'll cancel my stupid dress order in the morning. I'm not doing this with you. If you want to be alone so bad then fine. I hope you enjoy it," she yanked the brilliant-cut diamond ring off her finger and hurled it at me. The cone shaped diamond hit my cheek then fell into my lap. Bella rushed towards the door and she grabbed her bag and keys and slid her feet into her shoes.

Bella stopped, her hand resting on the door, waiting, I guess, for me to ask her to stay. I sat there, silent. She wrenched the door open and disappeared through it. Then it slammed shut. The sound echoed through the now empty apartment.

What are you doing you idiot? Go stop her! common sense screamed at me.

I jumped over the back of the couch and ran, barefoot, down the stairs after her. I didn't have to go far. Bella was sitting on the second floor landing, sobbing into her hands. I immediately felt like pond scum; no, lower than pond scum. I was that unidentifiable gunk on the bottom of your shoe.

"Bella, honey," I said softly.

"Fuck off and die," she sobbed.

"Bella, honey, I'm sorry. I don't know what to say to make this right. I know I've been an asshole, and I have a reason, I know it's not necessarily a good one, but there is a reason."

Bella looked up at me; her brown eyes were bloodshot and watery. "You have a reason, but it's not a good one. Really?" she said sarcastically. "I'm curious what is it?"

"It's the past. About Leah actually. Um, her mom called earlier this month and told me that they were taking her off of life support. And they did it on the day that I took her out on our first date. I know that none of this is your fault; I just don't know how to handle everything. And I was, uh, well, I was, um, I was afraid that maybe you would think that I wasn't over her. I didn't want to hurt you that way."

Bella wiped her eyes, rubbing the tears away with her fingers. "Aw, Jake. I wish you would have told me. Why did you think that I would think that? That doesn't make sense to me at all."

I sat down on the step next to her. "I know I should have, but I thought I was over it all. I mean I am over it. I mean – aw hell I don't know what I mean. I'm sorry."

"Sorry for being an asshole or sorry for being upset?"

"Both, but more sorry for being an asshole. I just didn't think you'd understand. I don't know why I guess if the roles had been reversed, you know if something happened to Edward and you were upset, I figured I'd be upset with you for being upset. Which is just stupid, but then again I'm not the smartest guy in the world. I should've just talked to you and maybe we could have avoided this whole mess."

"You should've," Bella agreed. "But don't be sorry for being upset. She was your wife, you two went through a lot and you're not the same person anymore. It's only natural to be upset. I didn't even know her and I'm upset for you. Is there a funeral?"

I nodded.

"Go. Go and give your condolences and say goodbye. And never be embarrassed or ashamed of your emotions. I love you."

Bella wrapped her arms around me and we walked back up to apartment. "You know we have to talk about it more. You're not magically cured just because you told me what was bugging you."

"I know."

I opened the apartment door and followed Bella down the hallway. She flopped into the pillows on the bed. "Come sit and talk," she said, patting the vacant side of the bed.

I sat down next to her and stared at the ceiling. "I don't know where to begin," I admitted.

Bella ran her fingers through my hair. "The beginnings usually a pretty good place to start," she said softly.

So I told her about the phone call. "I didn't expect to ever hear from them again. After they took Leah back to Fern Hill they didn't call or write. I had no idea she was even still on life support. I mean it's been almost three years since the accident."

Bella continued running her fingers through my hair. "So you haven't seen her since they took her back to Tacoma?"

I shook my head no. "Nope. Her father came to court in her place and since he had power of attorney, the judge allowed him to sign the divorce papers in Leah's place. The judge almost didn't grant the divorce. He thought it was shifty; me trying to divorce a woman in a coma. Harry convinced him that it was what Leah wanted. So he granted it."

Bella sniffed and sighed. "It's all just so damn sad."

I nodded. "I knew it was only a matter of time until Harry and Sue pulled the plug." I said this without any emotion at all. It was a declaration that had been echoing in my head since I got the call that told me Leah had passed. Bella ran her hand up and down my arm.

I leaned back into the pillows on the bed and sighed. I felt like an asshole. There was no other way to describe it and I admitted it to Bella.

"Why?" she asked.

I shrugged; frustration welled in my chest. "I was ashamed and embarrassed of this feeling. I didn't think you would understand. You know? I mean, after all, this is my ex-wife we're talking about. I honestly thought you'd get jealous or pissed and leave. I couldn't risk telling you and you leaving me. I love you too much to lose you."

Tears flooded my eyes and spilled onto my cheeks leaving hot, wet track marks. Then the levee broke and the dam sprung forth. A sob caught in my throat; a strangled sound emanated from my lips.

I cried for Leah and for Rachel and for my father. I cried for the child I'd never know and the months I'd pissed away, the countless pieces of art that had been destroyed by my rage. I cried tears of joy that even through all this disaster, God- if there was a God- had seen fit to send Bella crashing into my life.

Bella pulled me into her arms and rubbed my back. "Let it out," she soothed. "It will all be okay, just let it out."

I soaked her shirt with snot and tears. I had held onto the past so long, so long that I didn't realize that I was still hanging on to some small pieces. As I cried I let them go. I let the pieces of the past float off into the universe and out of the present.

Bella's hands continued rubbing my back as I cried and moaned unintelligible phrases. Even I didn't know what I was moaning, even though it was coming out of my mouth.

"It will all be okay," Bella whispered over and over again. It was a mantra, a beacon of light in the darkness that pulled me back to the here and now.

"Will it?" I questioned. "Will it really all be okay? I acted like such an asshole, like Edward, how can you ever forgive that?"

"This is not about that," Bella said firmly. "You were hurting and you lashed out. It doesn't excuse the behavior, but given the circumstances it certainly makes it understandable. Maybe if I had been a little more perceptive I would have seen that you were hurting and it never would have gotten to this point. We could have talked about it and worked through it together. How can I ever make it up to you?"

I rubbed my eyes and moved my head off her wet t-shirt and onto the pillow. "Baby the fact that you haven't left my sad ass more than makes up for it. Please though baby, not because you think you owe me, but because you want this, please let me put your ring back on your finger. I've never been more scared of anything than when you took that ring off."

Bella smiled at me and nodded and I pulled the simple, yet stunning, engagement ring out of my pocket and slid it back onto her ring finger. "There," I said admiring the way the diamond sparkled in the light, "back where it belongs."

"Thank you," Bella replied, leaning down to kiss me. She pressed her satin lips to mine and ran her tongue over mine.

I groaned into her mouth as her fingertips grazed the skin across my waist. With her lips still pressed to mine she pulled the black t-shirt I wore up, broke the kiss momentarily and pulled the shirt over my head.

"What are you doing?" I asked.

"Apologizing," she murmured, flashing me wink, her eyebrow arched.

Her nimble fingers tugged at my belt, loosened it and slowly unzipped my jeans. Her fingers slipped inside and caressed oh so softly.

I let out a ragged breath, this was so unlike Bella. "I – you- I mean- you have nothing to…"

"Shh," she said pressing the fingers of her free hand to my lips. "Just let me do this. I can't make the hurt go away but I can at least do this."

She tugged at my jeans, then grabbed them by the ankles and pulled them off flinging them across the room. Standing at the foot of the bed she slowly undressed. I watched in awe as she stripped away each article of clothing, growing more and more aroused as each one hit the floor. I was so overcome in that moment with more emotions than I thought I could feel at one time, and all I could focus on was Bella, anything else would cause the damn holding my emotions back to burst.

She crawled, sliding her breasts over my legs and chest, up my body and kissed along my jaw. Goosebumps raced across my flesh as her lips traveled south, licking and kissing every plane and dip her mouth came into contact with.

"Bella," I groaned as she licked my shaft.

"mm." the vibration ratcheted this experience up to a whole other level and she took the length of me, bit by tiny bit.

I groaned, eyes rolling back in my head. I saw stars, little yellow cartoony ones as her mouth worked wonders, tongue probed, all over the length of my dick. "Bella, oh God honey, it's too much…it's so good but I want to be with you, I need to be with you…please."

She swirled her tongue around the head of my dick, like she was licking an ice cream cone. I moaned and fought the urge to just let go. Luckily, Bella stopped. She glanced up at me from beneath her eye lashes then climbed lithely onto my lap, and hovered, poised, right above me. I could feel the heat emanating from her. She smiled angelically, and then lowered herself onto the length of me.

Bella ground against me, her hips dipping and grinding. I grabbed her waist, guiding her, coaxing her. She gently but firmly grabbed my wrists and pinned them.

"Baby let go, let me take care of you." she moaned, a little mewling sound in the back of her throat, "So just let go and let me be the one to please you."

She was so caring, so loving and beautiful, and so incredibly sexy. My God, I almost ruined everything and here she is, loving me, saving me, giving me the most amazing gift she every could, herself.

I moaned and felt myself rushing toward the edge all the while cursing myself for it. Faster and faster she went, growing slicker with each rise and fall. The wetness intensified the sensation of her riding me and I felt myself give in and plunge into the abyss. I groaned and arched my back plunging myself as far as I could into her. Bella gasped and moaned, these sweet little cries escaped her lips and she collapsed onto my chest. I could feel her heart racing in her sweat slicked chest.

Later, as I held Bella in my arms, she asked about the funeral. "Do you want to go?"

"I don't know," I admitted. Part of me did and part of me said that was not my life anymore and I had no business being there.

"I think you should go."

I glanced at Bella. "You do?"

She nodded.

"Why?"

"Because I don't think you got the chance the really say good bye. I think you should go and say goodbye. If you want to go, that is."

"I don't think I should," I admitted.

"Why not?"

"Because that's not my life anymore. I don't think I'll be welcome there."

"I think you'd be surprised. I think the Clearwater's, that's their last night right?"

I nodded.

"I think the Clearwater's will be expecting you to be there. This was your wife after all, and you have just as much of a right to say goodbye as anyone else. If you want I'll go with your, or I can stay in Seattle. It's your choice."

I nodded. "I'll go. And I'd like you to come with me."

Bella nodded. "Okay."

"Okay. The funeral is at three, so we should probably leave here around one, just in case there's traffic."

Bella nodded. Her eyes closed. I sat there watching her for a while as she drifted off to sleep. I felt like such a fool for not coming to her sooner. She was an incredible woman and I should have known she would have reacted this way and not flipped out.

The sound of her even breathing was relaxing. I turned off the light and closed my eyes, drifting off to join Bella in the land of dreams.

JULY

Charlie opened the French doors and together we stepped out. I could hear the chorus of New American Classic swell as Charlie and I made our way down the flagstone path. Lanterns lit the path as we descended into the dusk toward the gazebo.

Clear Christmas lights were strung around the gazebo making it glow softly in the twilight. I could see Jake standing there waiting. My heart started to race as we got closer to the gazebo. It was beautiful; lights were strung up in the garden casting a soft glow, illuminating the flowers that had grown up the side of the gazebo. Drops of dew sparkled, dazzled by the light.

Charlie and I stepped onto the gazebo and he stopped just in front of Jake. He leaned down and kissed my cheek. "Be happy sweetheart," he whispered in my ear. To Jake he said, "You remember what I was said."

Jake nodded and took my hand. "You look beautiful, absolutely stunning," he breathed.

* * *

Yesterday morning the four of us, Jake, Alice, Jasper and I, made the trip to Forks. We dropped the guys off at their hotel and headed to Renee and Charlie's to drop off my wedding dress.

Charlie's surgery had corrected the issue with his leg and it was now fully healed. His cheeks had a healthy pink glow that I hadn't seen in a long time.

"What are you two planning on doing tonight?" Renee asked.

I looked at Alice who shrugged. "No idea. I was going to take Bella to this strip club in Port Angeles that does amateur night, but I don't think she'd appreciate that." Alice winked at me.

"No your right. Strip club is definitely not my idea of good time," I laughed.

We wound up going back to Alice's parent's house and watching the best movies of the late 90's. Around ten, we raided the wine cellar and brought up a couple bottles of Pinot Grigio to drink while 10 Things I Hate About You played in the background.

Sometime after midnight, we must have fallen asleep. I woke up sometime in the early morning. The grey sky was tinged with hues of orange and pink as the sun peaked over the eastern horizon. I slid out from under Alice's leg, which was draped over my waist, and padded to the bathroom in search of some aspirin. Those two bottles of Pinot Grigio had not been good to me. I popped the top on the bottle of aspirin, each sound seemingly amplified by the tile walls. I quickly swallowed the round white pills and scurried back to bed.

Alice groaned as I pulled the covers over my head. "Is it time to get up already?" she moaned.

"No," I whispered.

"Stop screaming," she whined then flipped onto her other side and began snoring. I laughed softly and closed my eyes, drifting back to sleep.

* * *

When I woke up again, the sun was shining in the western windows. Alice stirred and rolled over. "Good morning!"

"Good morning," I replied. My head no longer felt like it was home to an angry rhino. I got out of bed, dragging Alice with me. Together we went downstairs for breakfast even though it was well past lunch time.

"Good afternoon ladies," Esme chuckled from her position in front of the stove. "Would you like something to eat?"

Alice and I sat down at the island and chatted with Esme. Just like the past, she set a plate of scrambled eggs and toast in front of each of us, followed by a glass of orange juice and two aspirin. I guess some things never change.

After we ate, I showered while Alice collected her arsenal of beauty products. I raided her closet for something to wear. I was a spitting image of my seventeen year old self in Alice's clothes from high school. I wandered downstairs while Alice showered and was headed to watch some tv when I saw Esme approaching me with a look I couldn't quite place. My stomach fell. Please God, don't let her tell me I'm making a mistake, please don't let her ask me to give him another chance. She opened her mouth to speak and what I heard shocked me.

"I've never been more relieved to see someone so happy Bella. I know you probably think I'm going to ask you to wait for Edward, give him another chance, but I could never do that to you. I've always thought of you as my daughter, and regardless of who you are marrying, I will always love you and want the best for you. I've watched you over the years, and it's been heartbreaking. When you first moved here Edward made you so happy. You were both young and free and you had the whole world laid out at your feet. But the more time passed, the more you put on fake smiles, and the light in your eyes started to fade. I watched him slowly eat away at your confidence and self-esteem, and it broke my heart. He's my son and I will always love him, but while you grew up, he still acts like a petulant child and rarely thinks of anyone but himself. He tried to tell me that you both ended things amicably, but Alice and I are close, and you know she has loose lips when she's drinking."

Esme smiled and chuckled at this, and I started snapping out of my state of shock. I smiled back at her as I stared, clearly she wasn't done. "I will never forgive him for treating you so despicably, you are such a better person than him, and I am proud to call you my daughter, even if it isn't technically true. I want to assure you Bella, I support your relationship with Jacob. I have never seen you more happy or alive. You are moving forward in life, making decisions based on what you want and what is good for you and because he truly loves you, he backs you completely. I know you must be concerned that we won't maintain our relationship Bella, but as I have proven with Edward, nothing could make me turn my back on one of my children. I love you Bella, and I am so thankful that you are letting Carlisle and I be a part of this wedding."

I couldn't even make words, I simply threw my arms around her and we held each other and cried. I didn't realize how afraid I had been that I wouldn't have Esme in my life anymore. Don't get my wrong, I love my mother, but there were so many times when I needed someone more grounded, and Esme became that person. I sent up a little prayer of thanks to God for giving me this woman in my life. Alice came downstairs and broke up our little sob fest informing us that the tears must stop if I didn't want to get married looking like I had pink eye. She then pointed out that it was time to leave and with one last hug from Esme I followed Alice out the door and into her car.

We drove the few short blocks to my parent's house and set up shop in the bathroom. Renee came up to help where she could. But she mostly left us to our own devices.

I sat quietly in the chair while Alice tugged and combed my hair into a low ponytail. Eventually the pain of her pulling my hair and jabbing abnormally long bobby pins into my scalp faded.

Sometimes I wondered how I'd gotten here. Not that I meant that as a bad thing. A year ago I was in this miserable relationship that was headed nowhere fast and I'd been foolish enough to think that was all I deserved, that my relationship with Edward was as good as it was going to get. Now, here I was, about to get married. In a little less than five hours from now I would be someone's wife. The thought made me happier than I ever could have imagined.

But of course all roads to happiness are filled with some kind of struggle. And we had struggled and at times we faltered, but together we made it work. Take Leah's funeral. God that was a hard day for Jake. He held it together well though; I will definitely give him that.

We left early the morning of the funeral; Tacoma was only about an hour away. He was quiet the entire trip down. I didn't say much, I figured he was processing his emotions and when he was ready, he would talk to me.

About halfway there, we stopped for a coffee refill at a gas station just off the highway. Once we pulled back onto the interstate Jake cleared his throat.

"I think you should know you might face some hostility. I hope that Harry and Sue are more grown up than that, but you never know."

I nodded. "Are you okay?"

Jake shook his head no. "I am, but I'm not; if that makes any sense. I'm scared that they are going to cause a fuss, but I'm scared that they are going to be too forgiving." He sighed and drummed his fingers on the steering wheel.

"Aw, hell, Bella. I don't know what the hell I feel. Part of me is being masochistic and hoping that someone curses at me and kicks me out, and another part of me just wants it to be calm so I can say goodbye."

I empathized with his struggle. It turned out that he didn't need to be worried. The Clearwater's were so grief stricken they barely paid Jake any mind. A tall, thin man approached Jake as we were leaving.

"Jacob," he called. Jake and I stopped in the parking lot and turned to face the caller.

"Seth," Jacob said enthusiastically, "How are you?"

The man named Seth shook Jake's hand. "Good, well you know." He motioned the funeral home. "I'm really glad you could come. Hello, I'm Seth, Leah's brother."

"Oh sorry. Seth this is Bella, my fiancé." Jake squeezed my hand. I took it as a sign that everything was okay.

I stepped forward and shook Seth's hand. "Nice to meet, I'm very sorry for your loss."

"Nice to make your acquaintance. And fiancé, congrats. When's the big day?"

"July 16th," Jake said.

"Very nice. Are you getting married in Seattle?"

"No, we're actually getting married at this B&B up in Forks."

Seth nodded, and the two of them chatted for a few minutes. Cell phones came out and phone numbers were exchanged. We said goodbye and headed back to Seattle.

"I'm glad you came with me today," Jake said, reaching for my hand as we got off the highway.

"Me too. Well, I'm glad that you let me come."

"Really? Why?"

"Well, because sometimes the easiest thing to do is isolate yourself from the people who love you. You could have told me to stay home and gone by yourself, but you let me come; you wanted me to come. It says a lot about the progress that you've made. You should be proud of yourself."

I was brought back to the here and now by Alice, who it seemed, was furiously trying to rip out huge sections of my hair as she pulled and twisted it into place. I yelped as a bobby pin jabbed me in the head.

"Sorry," she said sheepishly.

I rolled my eyes and thought about the upcoming internship. There is an old saying about a door closing and a window opening, or something like that. That afternoon when we got home from the funeral, Jake retrieved the mail from the box in the lobby before we climbed the stairs. He shuffled through the mail and handed me a single white envelope.

I stopped right in the middle of the stair case and stared at the pristine white envelope with its embossed Interior Design Magazine logo in the upper right hand corner. My heart skipped like six beats and I weighed the envelope in my hands.

"What's wrong?" Jake asked coming back down the stairs. He spotted the envelope in my hand and smiled knowingly. "Want me to open it?"

I shook my head no, still staring at it. I was beginning to feel like the confident high school senior who'd applied to one school, pinning all their hopes and dreams on that one perfect school and was now standing there holding that envelope that could decide the rest of their life.

The unopened letter held two possibilities and countless experiences. They would either say no, and that would be that or they said yes and a million doors just opened up. "I'm scared," I whispered and with trembling fingers, I slowly opened the envelope and withdrew the single sheet of paper inside.

I scanned it a few times to make sure I was reading it correctly.

"What's it say?" Jake asked.

I slowly looked up at him. "It says yes. I got the internship, they picked me."

Jake picked me up and spun me around on the step. "Oh my god they picked ME Jake, they picked ME!"

"I know!" he shouted. "Congratulations."

* * *

Alice jabbed another pin into my hair. I shouted as it ripped on my hair. "Are you almost done?" I grumbled.

"Yes, almost. There, I am done." She handed me a mirror so I could look at the back of my hair. Alice had taken my hair, pulling it into a low ponytail, and then made a knot at the nape of my neck and weaved strands of hair into this design to hide the elastic band holding my hair up. She finished the whole thing by curling a few strands of hair that hung loose.

I smiled and hugged her. "Thank you it looks gorgeous."

"Glad you like it. Make up time." She assaulted my face with products I had never even dreamed of, but by the time she was finished I put Aphrodite to shame.

Renee came up as I was getting changed. She brought four boxes with her and set them on the bed, then zipped the back of my dress.

"What's all that?" I asked.

"That is your something old, new, borrowed and blue."

"Ooh. Can I see?"

Renee nodded and handed me the first box. "This is your something old and blue."

I took the small jewelers box from her and opened it. Nestled in the box was a set of hair combs. The design across the top resembled a tree branch, off of it were five pearls and in the shape of flowers were clusters of sapphires. "Oh mom these are beautiful."

Renee smiled, a tear spilled down her cheek. "They belonged to your great, great grandmother and now they're yours."

I set the box down and hugged my mom. "Thank you."

She patted my back. "You're welcome. Now go let Alice put those in for you."

I crossed the room and picked up the box, handing it to Alice. She delicately slid each comb onto my hair and inspected her work. "They look gorgeous."

"Here's your something borrowed."

"I want my shoes back," Alice warned.

I already knew about those. When I couldn't find shoes I liked she offered to let me borrow hers claiming they'd go perfect.

"And last your something new. It's from Jacob."

I opened the last box. Inside was a matching necklace and earring set; silver hearts with a pearl drop on the bottom which I promptly put on. I had gotten him cuff links with his initials engraved into them. I wasn't sure what to get him and after not being able to find a set, I figured you couldn't go wrong with cuff links. They were a circular silver pair that, when opened, doubled as a locket as well. I'd had the jeweler put a photo of me on one side and a photo of him on the other.

At six thirty Charlie knocked on the door then poked his head in. "The limo's here," he said looking at the three of us. "Oh look at you all. You look beautiful. And Bella, my little girl all grown up." Charlie wiped a tear from his eye.

"Oh Dad don't cry," I murmured and rushed to hug him.

"Oh I can't help it. You're my little girl and you're all grown up now and about to get married. I wouldn't be a father if I didn't cry."

The four of us left the house and piled into the limo. The ride to the B&B was short. From the limo I could see the gazebo in the middle of the garden, the white chairs set up, and the lights twinkling. A few feet away a white tent had been set up, the peaks ruffling in the gentle evening breeze. White globes of light illuminated the tables that had been set up.

As we got out of the limo the faint strains of that Taking Back Sunday song Jake had heard in Dr. Fuller's office so long ago came floating across the grounds. He was like a dog with a bone about that song. He searched every music downloading site trying to find it, all to no avail until he found it one afternoon on some obscure iTunes knock off site. He downloaded it and made me listen to it over and over again. I had to admit, it was beautiful, and he loved it so when he asked me if we could use that instead of the traditional wedding march I agreed.

At the door the owners, Tom and Gail, met us and escorted us to the sunroom at the back of the property. From the window I could see Jake standing nervously next to the minister.

* * *

"You look absolutely stunning," Jake breathed.

I smiled widely. "You look pretty darn good yourself."

The minister cleared his throat. "The grand essentials of happiness, the things that make life grand, are: something to do, something to love and something to hope for."

I smiled at Jake. He smiled back and rubbed his thumb across my hand. The minister instructed Jacob to repeat after him. Jasper handed him the ring, Jake slid it onto my finger and said, "I Jacob, take you Isabella, to have and to hold through the good times and the bad. I take the lazy days on the couch, first class chicken noodle soup and bad chick flicks. I'll cherish the moments, no matter how small, they makeup this crazy thing we call life. I promise to love, to cherish you and grow with you for all the days of my life."

I blinked furiously against the tears. Alice tapped my shoulder and handed me Jake's ring. I gently slid it onto his finger.

"I, Isabella, take you, Jacob, to have and to hold through the good times and the bad. I gladly take picture wars during black outs and Sundays pretending to understand football. I'll cherish the moments, no matter how small for those are the moments that define us. I promise to love, to inspire and support you for all the days of my life."

The minister turned to Jake. "Do you take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife, bad chick flicks and all?"

Jake nodded. "I do."

The minister turned to me. "Do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband, confusing Sunday football and all?"

I suppressed a giggle. "I do."

"Then it is with great pleasure that I pronounce you husband and wife; you may now kiss the bride."

Jake grasped my face and I kissed him; our first kiss as husband and wife.

A/N Reviews are better than twilight weddings!

And there you have it...one more chapter left...