He hadn't the slightest clue as to how he made it back home without wrecking or getting pulled over. When he entered the house was quiet, dark, and completely vacant; he felt relieved that at least for right now he was alone. It was nearly one in the morning now; most likely in a few more minutes Murdoc would come back, and most likely he would be drunk. Most likely he would have more drugs; more drugs to kill himself with. 2D didn't want to be angry, but it was the only thing that he could do, the only thing that he could feel. His drunken state wasn't helping the problems in his life; it wasn't making his relationship get better, or making himself feel less depressed. It only fueled those fires, it made him weak, and he didn't want to take the blame for this.
He unsteadily made his way down the hallway and into the Satanist bedroom. He began going through drawers looking for the things he knew to be there. It only took four minutes at the longest for him to find five orange bottles of prescription pills in the top dresser drawer. He took the bottles into the bathroom; he popped the lids off of the bottles and began dumping the contents into the toilet bowel. He smiled to himself as he watched the different colored pills swirl around then disappear; he went back to Murdoc's room in search of the rest. Mostly he found prescriptions, some weed, speed, and some cocaine that from the looks of it the older man had been in it before leaving. Everything that he found he flushed; it didn't solve anything, but somehow it felt like he was solving all of his problems.
The last thing that he found was a black metal box far under his bed; he took his flick knife out of his pocket, and picked at the lock until it broke open. He took the box into the bathroom and began searching through it; more weed, more cocaine, some Prozac, and then the things he had actually hoped he would never have to find. He picked up the syringe and the rope and looked over them, he felt dizzy, and angrier than he had been minutes before.
"Wot the fucking hell are yew doing?"
2D turned around to see Murdoc standing in the doorway glaring at him, his body tense with rage. The blue haired man held the syringe out for him to see.
"Wot the fuck do yew fink t'at I'm doing, I'm getting rid of yer stash."
"Yew fucking moron, do yew even know how much that cost?" He asked as he moved into the room getting closer to the singer.
2D reached into the box grabbing up a bag of pills and threw them into the toilet, he turned his attention back to the bassist and grinned down at him.
"I don't care, tell me wot this is." He said gesturing to the remaining contents in the box.
"LSD, that's all it fucking is." Murdoc mumbled looking away.
"Don't fucking lie to me." 2D yelled angrily.
The older man snarled, he grabbed the vocalist by the front of his shirt and jerked him forward.
"Look here yew worthless little cunt; that is my property, just like yer my fucking property. Wot I do is my fuckin' business an' I really don' want yew going through my things."
2D struggled and tried to get away from him; he placed his hands against Murdoc's chest and shoved him away. The older man stumbled backwards his back hitting against the wall.
"I don't fucking belong to yew, I never fucking belonged to yew. I'm not a thing; yew told me that yew weren't doing this kind of shit."
"Then I guess I lied, didn't I?" He asked smirking up at the younger man.
"I can't believe yew."
"Yew haven't believed me for a long time dullard, why start now? I just lie to yew; I lie all the god damn time. Hell maybe I did fucking cheat on yew once or twice, money doesn't always buy drugs ya know."
2D tightened his grip on the syringe; he threw it at the Satanist.
"Fuck yew, I fucking hate yew…Take yer heroin an' yer fucking…I fucking hate wotever yew have become, just….Jus' fuck yew Mu'doc, I don' care anymore."
He started to leave the room, but as he began to pass the green skinned man he felt a hand wrap around his arm gripping tightly. Murdoc pulled him back into the room and slammed him hard against the wall the back of his head knocking hard enough to jar his body. Murdoc wrapped a hand around his throat his jagged nails digging into his skin as he gripped harder; he pressed his body against 2D's keeping him there, completely still. He looked into the shorter man's brown blood shot eyes, the rage, and the hate; there was nobody he knew in there.
"Look here yew little fucker yew aren' going anywhere. Yew don' have any right to judge me, yew don' have a fucking clue wot I've been through. Yew don' even know who I am, yew think that I'm somebody; that I'm something more than a creature. I'm fucking nothing to yew, there isn't anything to fix here an' I'm sick of yew fucking trying. If I just let yew go then yer gonna run, but yew will come back and forgive me because yer just that fucking stupid and pathetic."
"No I won't, I hate yew."
Murdoc laughed and loosened his grip on his throat. A second later he smacked 2D hard across the face his nails cutting into his cheek.
"Stupid cunt." He muttered as he continued staring down the singer.
He moved his hand from his throat to his hair gripping tightly; he pulled 2D away from the wall, the vocalist cried out in pain. Murdoc threw him down onto the tiled floor, he let out another pained cry as his back and head collided with the floor. When he tried to sit up Murdoc kicked him in the stomach knocking him back down, he wrapped an arm around himself cradling his sore body. Murdoc kicked him in the arm, and then kicked him over and over while cursing under his breath. He reached down grabbing hold of his arm and jerking him roughly, 2D felt a sharp burning pain go through his arm. The older man got down and sat straddling his lap; the blue haired man reached out trying to push him away. He cried and pleaded wishing he could just get away, but his body hurt too badly, and Murdoc's knees were digging into his ribs to the point he thought they would break.
"Stop it!"
"No, I won' fucking stop until yew learn how stupid it is to be with me, to love me, and think yew could possibly fix this. Yew can' fucking fix this; I don' fucking need yew. I-I, I don' fucking need yew, I don' fucking need anybody."
Tears rolled down 2D's cheeks; there wasn't any hate or rage left inside of him. His body went limp as he gave up on fighting back, every part of him burned with intense white hot pain. He stared up at the man sitting on him, the one that no matter what he loved; God he wanted to hate him right now. He wanted to mean it when he yelled that he hated him, but he couldn't no matter how hard he tried. When he looked into Murdoc's eyes all he could see was that hatred and that fear, it was always because of fear. He did all of this because he was scared of living, he was scared of letting somebody in, and he would do everything he could to just make 2D stop trying.
"I love yew" 2D whispered his voice weak and choked.
For a moment he saw that recognition in his features, that realization of what he was doing. As fast as it appeared it went away, a moment later Murdoc was bashing the singer's head hard against the floor until he finally blacked out from the burning pain surging through his skull. He thought he could feel blood, but he wasn't sure. He knew he couldn't be dying again, but what the hell did he know?
His body felt completely relaxed even though every muscle felt as if it were on fire. He could just barely feel Murdoc's fingers on his cheek, he could hear him talking, but could barely make out his words.
"Wake up….Shi….Wake up, 2D….Fuck"
He tried to move or make a sound, but all he could manage was to loll his head to the side and whimper softly.
"No, don'….No…No….I'm sorry, fuck….I'm…I'm going….I'm sorry…"
For a moment he thought he moved his hand, but he wasn't sure. He wanted to at least open his eyes, to look at Murdoc for a second or two. It hurt so badly, God everything hurt so terribly. The next thing he knew he was completely out, everything was darkness, and quiet. This wasn't death, no this was just the unconsciousness that he was quite used to, and he would wake up again.