A/N: I'm Alive! Thanks for all of your reviews from the last chapter. You make me squeal with all your lovely comments! I'm sorry it's taken me so long to update. Life just seemed to get away from me! But not to fear, I have the rest of the chapters carefully mapped out. There will be around five left, including the epilogue. Don't worry. These next few chapters will rock ;)

Thanks to MarchHare5 queen of hypens. And thanks to twicrack83 supreme ruler of all contractions. Really, you guys have no idea what this would look like without them. ::MUAH::

Thanks to nowforruin!

Warning: adult content and violence. **Mention of physical and sexual assault. ** Language **

Disclaimer: all recognizable characters and Twilight belong to Stephenie Meyer, the rest is copyrighted 2010 ElspethGordie

xoxo

Chapter 25: Continued

"So, uh, how's your food?" Edward inquired. His eyes were light and carefree; it was the most unburdened I'd seen him in weeks.

"It's great. Thanks," I replied.

He'd decided to take me out on our official second date. It'd taken him a while; he'd been "rebuilding my trust" for almost a month now. It was kinda like a dream. I didn't know whether to scream with frustration over his slow thoroughness or sigh in delight over it all. We'd done all the typical "friend" things. We hung out doing homework, once Edward's grounding had been lifted, not that it ever applied to us anyway. Dr. Cullen would just grumble a little about consequences and Esme would roll her eyes saying it wasn't for Edward but for me. I love Esme.

I looked carefully around the restaurant taking in the atmosphere I'd missed when we came in. It was a little hole in the wall place, eclectic. None of furniture matched, each of the tables had a different vase with a single flower, Christmas lights wrapped around the wooden beams in the ceiling... It was magical.

Pushing my ravioli around my plate, I asked Edward a question I'd been wondering all week. "How'd the therapy session go?"

He scrunched his nose in distaste. "Eh, it was okay. You know?"

I rolled my eyes. "Yeah, I know. Some of the stuff is okay, but the other half of the time I think the shrink is crazy. Like imagining a peaceful meadow of wildflowers is going to help me stop having flashbacks?" I waved my fork while I was talking, ending in a big bite.

"The doc is having me do these breathing exercises, which I guess could help, but I feel ridiculous."

I smiled in sympathy. If anyone would understand it was be me. Ironic how that was for us. "But if it helps, it helps. Right?"

He tried to suppress a smile and nodded. "Yeah, you're right."

"How's your dad been dealing?" I watched him out of the corner of my eye and watched the emotions trail across his face.

The week after my flashback in the library I finally talked Edward into going to his dad with his own "blackouts." They weren't real blackouts; he remembered what happened. But his lack of control made both of us nervous. He felt like he didn't know who he was anymore, and I could relate. After two heated arguments he agreed to talk to Dr. Cullen. I still wasn't sure if it was the right thing to do, but if things worked out, it would be. That's how things are sometimes, you have to make a choice and hope for the best.

Dr. Cullen didn't respond as I'd hoped, but he loved his son and made every effort to get him help. I think he felt at a loss, or a failure for missing this in Edward's life.

"Is the meadow, whatever, helping you at all?" he whispered. Edward leaned forward in his seat, his body hunched halfway over the table.

I shook my head. "I don't know. I don't really want to test it." I reached my hand across the table and took his in my own. "I don't really want to push anything."

He nodded his assent and looked down at our hands. His thumb gently rubbed the top of my fingers.

We finished dinner. Actually I finished both our dinners. When I was done with my ravioli I took the liberty to eat the rest of his French fries.

He chuckled. "Do you want to get something else?"

I smiled ruefully. "I'm okay for now, but I can't promise anything an hour or two from now." I winked.

I was at the tail end of my second trimester. My baby was growing rapidly and you could definitely tell on my petite frame. All those pictures online showing how big I should look was a lie, and I still had eleven weeks till my due date. Shoot me now.

I must have been scowling because Edward squeezed my hand and flashed me his jello-inducing half-smile. "You look beautiful."

I couldn't help but blush.

"How bout we get out of here and find some ice cream? Sound good?"

"You are too good to me."

I watched as he rose from his chair, moving around our small table. He bent down to whisper in my ear. "No, Bella. You are too good to me. I don't deserve you."

My already pink cheeks flooded again, but I looked up at him, beaming. Part of me still didn't know what we were doing, but I wasn't going to fight it. Edward was it. No one would ever compare to him. And this wasn't my pregnancy hormones talking. I could feel it in the marrow of my bones.

I took his offered hand and let him help me out of my chair. I wasn't big enough to need the help but I couldn't refuse his sweet gesture.

Alice had given me some invaluable advice. She said that Edward had always been a protector. It made him feel like he was doing the right thing when he was able to take care of me, so even if I didn't need it, let him because it wasn't for me, it was for him.

Afterward we ate our fill in ice cream, well, I ate my weight. But he said that he wanted to show me something. I was reasonably wary.

We arrived at an empty park. You know, the ones with an outdated jungle gym, squeaky swings, and one of those death-trap merry-go-rounds. I hoped that was not what we were doing. I hadn't thrown up in a while, and I really liked my ice cream and ravioli the first time. I rarely enjoyed it a second. Darkness encroached on our evening, and the shadows made the playground look like a scene in a B horror movie. Internal me was yelling not to get out of car because zombies or vampires were bound to eat us.

Edward jumped out of the Volvo and walked around to my door. He opened it with a mysterious smile. I wasn't sure if I liked it. He helped me down, and I cautiously looked around.

"So what do you want to show me?" I raised an eyebrow.

He returned my skeptical look. "Do you trust me?"

"Yeah."

He placed his hands over my eyes. "Yeah?"

"Uh... yeah." I said not as strong.

He chuckled and I could hear the reverberation from his chest as he pulled me tighter to him. He slowly led me in a straight path toward the play ground. I didn't know why he was having me close my eyes because I already saw it when we pulled in.

Suddenly, a bright light filtered through the cracks on his fingers and made the inside of my eyelids look pink. I hoped it wasn't a giant flood-light and the cops were coming to bust up a couple of kids necking in the park. I would be really disappointed because we had so not gotten to the making out part—and gosh darn it, I deserved to be kissed if I was going to be hauled off by the cops.

"Are you ready?" Edward whispered in my ear, breaking me from my overactive imagination.

I bit my lip and nodded.

Edward lifted his hands from my eyes and I opened them to find the playground lit up with white lights and candles. A blanket was set up under the monkey bars and a song was playing in the background.

The lights danced off the metal and made everything sparkle. I spun slowly in a circle, taking in everything. Lights were wrapped around poles and draped across the jungle gym and swings. It was like we had walked into this alcove of light and magic.

"Edward..." I trailed off, unable to come up with any words.

He was standing to the side with his hands in his pockets, trying to decide whether to stare at the ground or me.

"This is... amazing. Thank you." I took a step closer to him. "It's more than anyone has ever done for me." I took another step, ending up only a foot away from him. "How did you?" I gestured with my hand, trying to express all I felt.

"Ali helped."

"Of course." I smiled. I peeked at him through my lashes. "What's it for?"

"Um." Edward nervously ran a hand through his hair. "I guess I just wanted to show you... what you mean to me."

My eyes widened.

He continued, "I don't know about you but that day at my house... You entered through that glass door to the pool and I felt like my whole world collided. Your eyes thrust me into this void and I've been drowning ever since. I want to be worthy of you. You are strong and beautiful and smart. You never give up, even when everyone else would have. You make me want to be a better person, a better man.

You light up my life, Bella." He ran another hand through his hair. "I wanted to light up yours too."

I was overwhelmed. He didn't realize that he had changed me too. He had lit up my life. He brought light where there had only been dark for such a long time.

"Edward..." I didn't know what to say.

I decided not to say anything at all. I took one more step forward, closing the small space between us, and standing on my tippy-toes, I kissed him.

His arms went immediately around me, holding me tight to his torso. My hands finally did what they'd been aching to do for months. I wrapped my arms around his neck, entangling my hands in his hair.

The moment my hands gripped his hair, he deepened the kiss, and I felt it down to my toes. It was a back-scratching, toe-curling, the-war-just-ended, Times-Square kind of kiss.

We broke apart too soon. It would have been too soon if we ever broke apart.

"Wow," I said.

OoOoOoOoOo

I shook my head. I could feel the heat coming off my face. "I said, 'Wow.' How dorky is that?" I groaned.

Alice and Rose just cackled. I glared at them.

"Aw, it's kinda sweet. I bet he loved it." Rose smirked. "You know how much boys like to be told how good they are."

My second glare cut off another giggle from Alice. "Bella, he cares about you. I might even say he loves you. So he probably loves that you said wow."

My fading blush peaked when she mentioned love.

Rose sighed. "You gotta admit, that boy's got style."

I echoed her sigh. It was all I had been doing since last night. "It was amazing."

Ali bounced in her seat. "Okay, okay. Tell us what happened next."

"Well, he asked me to dance." The squealing erupted again, and to my surprise not just from Ali. "And he can actually dance! I've never done anything like that, and you know it's quite a work out on the hips to follow him."

Ali snorted. "Oh, I know." She leaned forward conspiratorially. "Don't you dare tell him I said this, but when we were kids Mom went on this old films kick, like with ones with Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers. Edward begged to get ballroom dancing lessons."

Rose and I looked at each other with round eyes and burst into another fit of giggles. The other Jamba Juice patrons were glaring at our uncontrollable laughter. The girls had whisked me away after school, leaving the boys to their own devices.

Waving my hand at Rose and Alice, I finally caught my breath. "All right, enough about me. Spill."

Rose looked smug. "I didn't say wow." I smacked her lightly in the arm. "But things are going well. Emmett hasn't decorated a playground and expressed his undying affection for me, but things are good. He's fun, and he doesn't put up with my crap."

I was happy for her and Emmett. He was head over heels with her and whether she knew it or not would willingly jump in front of a bus for her let alone decorate a playground. Emmett had used Alice and me as go-to idea buffers. When ever he came up with something he'd bounce it off us. Now, we had to veto the wilderness date, but other than that he'd been really thoughtful. I was almost jealous of their date to the arcade. I may be small, but I am mighty. I showed that plastic arm wrestling machine every time.

Turning to Ali, Rose said, "Your turn."

We watched as Alice Cullen turned bright red. My eyebrows rose as I looked between her and Rose. Rosalie just snickered. "What have you been doing with my twin brother?"

If it were possible Alice turned one shade darker. "Come on, you know you're going to tell us," I teased.

"Well, we've been talking."

"Ooh, talking." "Talking's good." We interjected.

She glared at us but continued. "And he mentioned maybe going out sometime."

"That's all?" Rose asked indignant. "I'm going to have to talk to him about getting some balls."

Alice shook her head. "No, that's not all."

I raised my eyebrows, "Well?"

"We kinda made out behind the library stacks at school." She bit her lip, trying to hold back a beaming smile.

"What?" we screeched, getting a few more glares from the smoothie customers.

"Okay." She waved her hands and sat on the edge of her chair, tipping it forward. "I went to get a book in the library, and you know how Jasper hangs out there." We both nodded. "Anyway, he must have noticed me struggling to get this book off the top shelf. And I might have been wearing a miniskirt that day... and thigh highs." Rose snorted.

"So, he came over and helped me get my book, and once he saw the title he said that he knew of another book that would be helpful. He probably really wanted to get me another book, but once we reached the back of the library... I jumped him."

I leaned my head back laughing. Poor Jasper, he probably didn't know what had hit him. I thought for a second, Maybe he did know. Sneaky bastard.

The ding on the front door chimed, and we all noticed Lauren and Jessica enter the shop. I turned my seat, ignoring them, but Rose and Ali spewed looks of hate their way.

We'd had a run-in a few weeks ago, and Rose and Ali were still holding a grudge. Lauren and Jess hadn't tried anything since then, so I just let it go. In the scheme of things it wasn't a big deal. Petty girls doing petty things.

Ali had decided that we needed some quality girl time and that I needed to get to know Rosalie better. Rose and I were friendly but neither were we really friends. She had stood up for me and helped me out, but we'd never spent any time together.

Ali thought we could kill two birds with one stone today. My normal clothes were going to start getting tight on me. We could shop for maternity clothes and get to know Rose at the same time.

I wasn't as psyched as shopping with Alice as on our last trip. Everything had been new, and I had been trying to be a new Bella, a different Bella. Now, I was different. I didn't need to try, and as much as I loved my baby I did not rejoice in the need to shop for maternity clothes. It was bad enough that my innie belly button was now an outie.

Ali had to drag me into the mall. She was meticulously checking her list of possible stores to visit. There were three maternity stores in this giant mall, plus department stores. I didn't know why we couldn't just go into one grab a few tops and one of those belly bands. I could wear that and sweat pants.

Rose snorted and helped Alice drag me. "Being pregnant is not a reason not to look your best," Rosalie said with a confident voice.

Just wait till you're pregnant one day. Then say that. I tried to hide my annoyed look, but they definitely saw it.

We stopped at the Starbucks in the middle of the mall. Rose treated us to drinks. I got a tea, envying them and their caffienated beverages. I never cared for coffee before, but now that I couldn't have it, part of me really wanted it.

It could have also been because I felt rather irrationally pissed off.

"So, Bella, you and Edward?" Rose asked with a smile on her face.

I blushed. Ali giggled. "Come on, Rose, you know I don't want to hear that about my own brother!"

I sent a look saying thank you, and she winked. She knew all the drama Edward and I were sifting through.

"Alice, speaking of brothers... has mine finally made his move?" Rose flipped her long blonde hair over her shoulder, and smiled lightly at the looks she was getting. She was gorgeous, it was obvious. I think it made me feel even fatter.

Unwitting to my inner pregnant torment, Alice answered with a groan. "Ugh. No. He is so oblivious! I have pulled out all the stops, but don't worry I have one more in my back pocket."

They continued to rant back and forth about Jasper, which kinda weirded me out that Rose had such a say, but I guess before I came to town Rose was all Ali had.

Finally arriving in the maternity store Motherhood, Alice picked out three maternity dresses, two blouses, and a few skirts. I really hoped that she didn't think we were getting this much at each of her stops.

We decided to stop in Claire's for some bangle bracelets. The cashier kept giving me suspicious looks. I guess she thought I would be trouble because I was pregnant. It made me roll my eyes. I wanted to leave, but I got caught in the back oohing over all the little girl princess crowns and purses.

"Oh, look that this one!" Rose said, pulling down a Tinkerbell purse with sequins and a feather handle.

I had this ridiculous urge to buy both the purse and the matching Tinkerbell crown when we heard a nasally laugh at the front of the store.

I groaned, recognizing the sound. I had no desire to be cornered by Lauren and her cronies today.

"What's wrong?" Rose's eyebrows pursed together.

I shrugged my shoulders. "The skank brigade has arrived."

Rose looked like she had smelled something unsavory and patted me on the shoulder. "Don't worry about them."

I put the crown and purse back, a tinge of regret at not indulging. "Let's find Ali and get out of here."

"Sure."

"Bella Swan and Rosalie Hale, what a surprise to see you here!" Lauren looked down her nose at us, while Jess looked giddy behind her. "Rosalie, we had no idea that you had such low standards."

"If my standards were lower I'd be hanging out with you, Lauren," Rose said prettily.

Jessica coughed a laugh, immediately repentant when she got a death look from Lauren.

"Bella, I'm surprised to find you without Edward. According to him, you're so screwed up you can't do anything on your own." Lauren smirked as she looked between me and my growing tummy.

I crossed my arms and tried not to show that her low blow repeated how Edward's words hurt me. "Well, at least I have him. As I remember, he's never given you the time of day. In fact, he doesn't even remember your name, does he?"

He did remember her name, but he found it funny to call her other names. He didn't appreciate her treatment of me, so because she was a girl and he couldn't hit her, he found other ways to strike.

Her face colored and she changed tactics. "Is it true that you slept with the whole baseball team at your old school and you don't even know who your baby's daddy is?"

"Shut the hell up about me and my baby! You have no idea what I've been through!" I yelled. Rose grabbed me before I could tackle her. I really wanted to yank a chunk of that fake blond hair out.

Lauren cackled at my outburst; she found my nerve. Jessica looked a little scared and took a step back. Lauren piped up again, on a roll, "You poor knocked-up little girl, even your mama doesn't want you."

I struggled in Rosalie's arms. "Don't give her the satisfaction!" she whispered.

I shrugged out of her arms. "Fine. Let's go."

Glaring at Lauren and Jessica, I brushed past them, leaving Rose to follow me. My face was stone and my mood even stormier. I thought we were through, but as we exited the store that obnoxious security alarm went off.

I groaned. One of my earlier purchases must have set it off. I walked back into the store to check my bags. The suspicious cashier walked up to me.

"Miss, can you hand over your bags?"

"Sure, I'm sorry. One of these must have set it off." I handed her the two bags I was carrying.

"And your purse please."

Rolling my eyes, I let her have it too.

Out of my second bag the cashier pulled out a long necklace with a tag. I looked at it with dismay. Looking up at Rose she seemed at a loss as well.

"I didn't take that. It must have fallen in or something. I wasn't even looking at the necklaces." I was shaking my head frantically. This couldn't be happening.

Rose spoke up, "We were at the back look ingat the little girls things the whole time."

The aging cashier glared at us both. "Sorry, girls, you'll have to speak with the police." She pointed to a sign that said, "Shoplifters will be prosecuted."

"But—but—..." I rambled.

Behind me Lauren and Jessica were doubled over trying to stifle their laughter. My blood boiled.

"Bitches."

Before I could do anything, Alice popped up out of nowhere, all deus ex machina style. "Ma'am? I think you might like to see this!" She was waving a small digital camera in her hand.

The lady glared at her. "I don't have any time for more excuses. I had my eye on these girls—"

Ali interrupted her, "No, you really want to see this."

We all crowded around Alice to see the camera. It showed Jessica dropping the necklace in my bag as I stomped by. I gasped, as did Jessica.

Jessica started to scramble for an explanation, but settled on blame. "Lauren told me to do it!"

The cashier turned her wrath on Lauren and Jessica. "You girls need to wait here. I think mall security would like to talk to you and your parents." Turning to us, she looked apologetic. "You girls can go."

The mall security wasn't pleased with the video Alice hand-delivered to them. Ali heard them talking as they walked into the store and spotted us. She had stayed hidden behind an earring rack while they made plans. Deciding to watch it play out, Alice taped the whole thing on her camera, catching the set up on video. Lauren and Jessica didn't fare very well, and had avoided me ever since. I was happy to be avoided.

I was just glad to have the drama behind me.

I waited until Rose and Alice stopped glaring, and another ding at the door signaled their exit before I broached my next question.

Rose muttered, "Skanks," under her breath.

Ali had a calculating look I didn't want to think about.

"So, I need advice. Girl advice." Their heads snapped to me, giving me their undivided attention. "My shrink thinks that my flashbacks come from a feeling of danger, and until I deal with Jimmy I won't be safe. She thinks I need to confront him and then I'll finally be able to be... touched."

Ali looked concerned. "Are you ready for something like that yet?"

I shrugged. "I don't know."

Rose took my hand in hers. "Ali's given me bits and pieces, and all I can tell you is that you shouldn't do something until you're ready. I had a possessive boyfriend once, and no matter what people told me I didn't do anything until I was ready."

"Thanks."

She smiled. "No prob. And remember, it's okay not to be ready."

I nodded.

Ali took my other hand. "And we're here for you. You don't have to do anything alone."

"I know. Thanks."

OoOoOoOoO

I walked into the house, calling out to Charlie to let him know I was home. I felt more home after three months in this house than I had at my mother's house where I lived for almost eighteen years.

"In here, Bells," Charlie called from the dining room. I'd taken over his office for the new nursery. Alice, Emmett, Jazz, and I cleared out all of his clutter and even painted the walls yellow. We had ordered a crib and changing table from Ikea and were just waiting for them to be delivered.

Entering the dining room, I found Charlie hunched over a scattering of papers everywhere. He even had a timeline written on a white board propped against the wall. I let my eyes take in the words slowly. "8:30 arrival at Jackson's. 11:00 admittance to the hospital." And so many details filled in between.

"Dad?"

"We need to talk, Bella." He looked up tiredly.

"What's going on, Dad? You haven't told me anything." I placed my hands on the table. "I know you've been looking into this, though I told you there was no point. What have you found?" My voice was sad. I wanted to hope, but I couldn't let myself.

"We found something. Liam McCartney and I have been doing some digging. I've been talking to some of my old contacts in Forks and Port Angeles. People knew that something wasn't right. That mugger came clean too easily. But people were scared."

I quietly sat in a chair across from him as he rubbed his eyes with the heels of his palms. "What do we need to do? Is there any kind of chance?" I stared down at the table, tracing the grain of the wood with my finger.

"Of course there is a chance, Bella! What we have to do is go to Forks."

My head shot up. "Go back? To Forks? How can you ask me to do that?"

He shook his head sadly. "It's the only way, honey. If I could do it from here, I would have already. But you need to file official charges and a statement."

"But I already tried to do that!"

"I'll be there this time and they won't be able to brush me off."

I got angry. He sounded so confident in his ability. "Where were you?"

"What?" His head cocked and his eyebrows tweaked.

"Where were you? Why didn't you help then? When I needed it most! Renee didn't even believe me! I was all on my own, and no one would listen to me! Once I came to my senses I went to the police, but everyone brushed me off! Where were you then?"

Charlie looked stricken. His face scrunched and I watched tears pool in his eyes. Immediately, I felt regret. It wasn't his fault. I was the idiot.

"Oh, Dad, I'm sorry. I didn't mean that." I rested my head in my hands.

"Bella, I'm so sorry. I should have been there. They should have listened to you and we shouldn't have to do this now." Tears leaked from his eyes. He sniffled and cleared his throat.

"I'll go," I whispered.

"Bella?"

"I'll go," I said louder this time. "Mom wants me to come visit for Thanksgiving. Can we wait till then? It's three weeks away."

Charlie's face was tight. "The longer we wait the more difficult it will be. We need to go sooner than that. Next week or next weekend?"

"Okay." I nodded. I had no idea what I was going to do. Forks. I didn't want to ever go back there again, but it seemed like I had no choice.

I stood up and left to go to my room. I turned at the doorway. "Dad, you have a plan, right? This will work?"

Charlie's lips were in a grim line. "This will work."

"Okay. I love you, Dad."

"I love you too, Bells."

I was going to go to Forks. I was going to confront my rapist. I hoped that I was ready. I wasn't sure if I was.

Well, that dang therapist was going to get what she wanted.

Oh, crap. Edward was not going to like this.

And the suspense begins!

Recs: (The first two thanks to MsWDarcy) ;)

Against the Pull of Gravity by Rosybud I've never been a Quil/Claire person, but this fic created a new convert.
Summary: Quil has always been there for Claire. He's her best friend, her protector and though she thinks it's impossible, she wants more. But in a world where legends are real, the path to true love is not easy — even when it's destined. Quil/Claire

Ladder to the Sun by Rosybud The unique premise made me start reading, but the characters kept me hooked. I want a cottage by the lake!
Summary:How can you die when you've never really lived? That's the problem Bella Swan faces when she's told she only has a year to live. Can she make up for a lonely, unhappy life in the short time she has left... and maybe find love too? All-human, EXB

The Art Teacher by spanglemaker9 Only two chapters, but I haven't been able to stop thinking about it!
Summary: He gave me art and words and passion and life, but all I wanted was him.