Chapter 25

There's a reason surgeons learn to wield scalpels. We like to pretend we're hard, cold scientists. We like to pretend we're fearless. But the truth is we become surgeons because somewhere deep down we think we can cut away that which haunts us. Weakness, frailty, death. It isn't just surgeons. The truth is I don't know anyone who isn't haunted by something or someone. And whether we try to slice the pain away with a scalpel or shove it in the back of a closet- our efforts usually fail. So the only way we can clear out the cobwebs is to turn a new page or put an old story to rest - finally, finally to rest. Haunt You Every Day; Meredith Grey

Meredith snuggled against Derek. "Today I have to meet him." Meredith suddenly said. "What ..." Meredith noticed Derek was only semi - awake. "Are you ..." She asked, eyeing him suspiociously. "I'm up." Derek said and yawned. His blue eyes were looking wearily at her. He was tired. She knew it, however, she still decided to talk to him. "I have to meet him." She said. "Him?" Derek asked back. "McSpermDonor." She answered. Derek sat up, half erupting in loud laughters. "What did you call him? McSperm ..." He couldn't finish the sentence. "You really named him that, did you?" Derek wanted to know. "It was Cristina's idea not mine. But it fits. Because he is not my father ..." She trailed off. "Should I ..." She wasn't sure if meeting him was a good idea. She would want to meet him some time, yes but yet? Isn't it a bit to soon for that? At least waiting a few weeks, let everything sink in. Time to fully comprehend what is going to happen ... "Should I really do it?" She asked, looking at the wall. "It's your choice. A choice that I can't make for you. You have to decide for yourself what's best for you, you know." He tried to tell her. "Do what you think is best for you. Don't let others make these choices for you." Meredith nodded.

"What is it like to have a father?" She quietly asked, not knowing that this question hits him close to home. Not knowing that she stirred up a hornet's nest with asking him that question. Derek flinched when he heard her question. His breath caught. No. He couldn't talk about that yet. He just couldn't. Meredith has hit a sore point of him. One that he still couldn't think about without feeling totally helpless. Why did she have to bring it up? Now, why now? Derek Shepherd did not get it, why now. Why does she have to ask that question today? Maybe because she never had a dad, someone she could call 'daddy' and who has been there for her throughout her whole life. "Derek." He heard Meredith's quiet voice, calling his name. She was worried. Why did he react like this? Was it her question? Has she done something wrong? She couldn't figure out what. "I am sorry, Mer." He said abruptly, standing up, he paced up and down.

"I can't talk about it right now, I just ... I can't." His voice sounded a bit harsh. But also sadness and pain was written on his face. Memories. She brought memories back. that's what it has to be. Oh, damn, why does it always have to be that she always ruins everything good in her life? Why? Meredith was shocked, she stared at the wall, trying to make sense of the situation. Something like that never has happened to her. So what was it. Meredith looked at him with big eyes.

With that, he left the room.

Meredith just sat there, completely frozen. What did just happen? It was her, it has to be. She has done something wrong, somehow ... "Hey, Mer?" Someone called her name. Meredith cringed when she heard it. "Mer, is something going on?" The voice asked and she could tell that whoever this was, was worried. About her. But she didn't care. What was going on with Derek? Why did he react that way? Then she heard someone walking into her room. She was no longer lying in a room in stepdown unit, she has been transfered to a regular room. "Mer." Now she recognized the voice. It was Alex. Meredith looked up. Into Alex's eyes. "Are you okay?" He asked while he controlled the indwelling cannula and the infusion drip. "Looks good. Now, what happened?" He softly asked.

"Nothing. I am fine." Meredith replied somewhat too hastily. Alex noticed that. "C'mon, Grey, it's just me." He said. "Okay, I asked him a question and now he is gone. And now, I didn't ask him to marry me if that's what you think." Meredith answered. "I wasn't going to think this." Alex said. "Good." But she didn't say what was going on. Alex didn't know what to do. This was Cristina's job. He didn't know what to do. Cristina is the one who has to figure it out. This is Cristina's kind of thing, the twisted sisters thing. He has no idea what to do. Finally he decided to cautiously ask what was going on. Not knowing whether she will answer or not, if she wants him to be quiet or if she talks. "Mer, hey." He said a bit louder but never even flinched - not even a bit. She just sat there, wondering what she had done wrong this time. What was it that caused Derek to run.

"Mer." No answer. Alex sighed.

He tried one last time to get her to talk: "Mer. What is going on, is it him? Talk to me. Should I get Cristina?" He asked but he never received an answer from her. She just stayed mute. Alex sighed. This wasn't getting them anywhere. He pinched her in the arm - just lightly - hoping she would snap out of it. So he tried it with pain stimuli. That this would bring her back to her old self. "Ouch." She exclaimed, rubbing her arm where Alex had pinched her her. Finally, she was looking at him. "What the hell was that?" She asked staggered. "Sorry .." He shrugged. "It was just ... you wouldn't stop staring at the freaking wall ... so I made you stop with a little help of pain stimuli." He stated bluntly. "You were starting to freak me out." He added.

"Fine." Meredith fumbled on her i. v. access to get it out of her arm.

"I need to talk to him." She repeated, looking around the room a bit hectic. "He Has run off and ..." She was nervous, Alex saw that the way she acted. She kind of looked like a deer caught in the headlight of a car. She was about to get out of the bed way to fast. Alex saw it coming and called out: "Meredith, wait, what the heck are you doing? Whatever it is that's bugging you, don't do this. You're gonna hurt yourself." Alex reacted and stopped her from getting up.

"But I have to ..."

"You have nothing to do but to lay down and stop stressing yourself out. It's better for your blood pressure ..." Alex faced Meredith. She answered: "I've never had trouble with my blood pressure. It's never been to high, to low, yes but not to high." Alex ignored this comment. "Please, Mer. Tell me what is going on. I'll try and fix it." He said. Meredith still tried to get him to loosen his grip around her arm but Alex Karev was way more stronger than her (and he didn't had surgery days ago which was another factor in things concerning her strength). "Damn, Karev." She muttered as she tried to free her arm. "Meredith." He said sternly causing her to look at him for a moment. "I am saying 'please' here, Mer." Alex tried to assure her.

"I have to go after him ... I can't meet McSpermDonor without having his back, without knowing that he's ..." Who is that mysterious 'he'? He bet it was Derek Shepherd Meredith was talking about even if he had trouble following her weird sentences and wooly thoughts. It has to be Derek, it's always 'bout Derek when she acts like this.

It's like a rule or something.

"Is it Shepherd, Meredith?" Alex urged her to answer. Tried to get as much information as he could possibly get out of her but that wasn't very easy- "Is it about him, is it Shepherd? Did he hurt you ... Should I ..."

"No, no, no, Alex. It's fine- I just need him back here. Telling me that everything's going to be okay." Her voice sounded shaken up but she tried to hold herself together. "I am worried." She said. She finally talked. "About him, you know." Alex gave a slight nod, signaling that he understood. " When I asked him about his dad ... asked him about what it's like to have a dad, a real dad, supporting you the whole way throughout your childhood ... he just ... I don't know where he is. He just ran off ..."

Oh, Derek, what have you done ...

Meredith was now sounding completely helpless. "It's gotta be okay, Mer." Alex reassured her. "I'll take care of that situation and you relax while I go figure this out." Meredith nodded. "It's okay. I'll find him but don't get out or pull that out." He pointed towards her intravenous line. "Fine." Meredith said stubbornly as Alex turned to her, once reassuringly smiling at her before heading to find Derek.

"Thanks, Alex."

Mark Sloan and Derek Shepherd were both sitting against a wall. For a moment neither of them said something. Then Derek interrupted the silence. "She asked me something." Derek suddenly said, tears shimmered in his eyes. "Something that brought back horrible memories. I freaked out ... I ... I don't need a reminder of what happened. I don't know if I can tell her about what happened." Derek looked at Mark. "Okay, first of, you're talking about Grey?" Mark wanted to know. Derek nodded, for a moment he closed his eyes. "And she asked you a question. What question ... "

Mark Sloan nudged his shoulder.

"Hey, man, are you okay?" He asked when Derek did not respond.

Then, without answering the last question, Derek said dully: "She wanted to know ..." He stalled and inhaled sharply. "What it's like to have a real dad ... that was her question." Mark let the question sink in. He knew why Derek was acting like he is. He knew the reasons. He has known Derek since elementary school, they've been best friends ever since. He had supported Derek after it happened, to get through it ...

"Oh." Mark frowned. "You never told her, did you?"

Derek shook his head. "No, I didn't, I was going to but then I didn't." He buried his face with his hands.

"If I tell her now, she'll think that I think she is an insensible bastard. I know she will. But she isn't, she didn't know- I am the insensible bastard. I ran off, letting her think god knows what ..." Derek said like to himself. "Hey, stop it." Mark said. "I can't answer these questions. I was only ten years old, I don't ..." Derek didn't seem to hear what Mark said.

"Shep, you're strong. You've made it that far ... She would want to know, I know she would. She loves you. You could just tell her. She ..." Mark was interrupted by Derek who sent him a silencing glare as he noticed Alex Karev standing there.

Alex Karev found him sitting, leaning against the hospital room. It was not even far away from Meredith's room. Derek and Mark were talking in a quiet tone. Alex Karev cleared his throat as he came nearer to them. "I don't mean to interrupt ..." He shifted uncomfortably as he trailed off. "Then don't do it." Sloan replied sharply. Dryly. "Speaking of which, can you bring us two coffees from that vending machine downstairs? The one's on this floor is out of action. That would be really nice." Alex eyed the plastic surgeon. "You want me to bring you coffee?" Alex asked them but looking at Sloan. "Did I hear that correctly?"

"Good boy, you learn fast- Make it a double." Mark grinned at him.

"No." Alex replied shortly, not caring if there were consequences awaiting him.

"In fact, I won't get you your stupid coffee. If you want coffee go get 'em yourself. I am not even on your service."

Alex paused, his eyes sparked.

"I am past the whole coffee and muffin thing. You are great man, Sloan, but you get coffee yourself. I may be an intern but I don't do the whole coffee thing. If I am on Robbins' service I don't need to bring her coffee. And I learn something. SO it would be a good idea to try and get it done yourself if you want a coffee so badly." With that Alex turned to Derek.

"As for you ... Derek, I don't get you, I really don't. But you know what? Your girl is in her room, worrying herself to death, driving herself crazy because she thinks you might have left her ... She is blaming herself over things that aren't her fault. She is going crazy in there, she thinks she has done something wrong. In short, she is an emotional wreck and the cause of all that is you." He finished his speech and looked at the faces of the attendings, focused on Derek aka stupid brainman without a brain. Who was in fact acting very brainless sometimes. Brainless brainman is the phrase Meredith would use.

"Oh, crap." Derek called out.

"I totally forgot that I ..." He inhaled and continued after a few seconds: "I was so focused on my own problems and didn't even remember that I left without even explaining ..." He looked up- suddenly, he remembered that he ran off, leaving a distraught Meredith behind who didn't know what was happening or why it was happening. "You have one hell of explaining to do, dude." Alex. "You should be pull yourself together and go back in there and this time, make it right." Alex advised.

Derek made an unsure movement of standing up but his thoughts, his brain wasn't focused on what he was doing plus the whole concussion thing going on wasn't very subserving for the whole situation. Which was what caused him to sway a bit. He clung onto the wall for support as he tries to steady himself.

"Are you okay, man?" Mark asked worriedly, even Alex tossed a worried look at the neurosurgeon.

"Are you ..." Alex adressed as Derek looked up at them.

"Are you sure that everything's okay." Another fucking question. "Okay." Derek said as he was standing on steady ground against. "This is normal, in case you have forgotten about the whole car thing. 'm fine, just a little dizzy is all. No need for you to worry." He steadied himself by holding onto the wall. Mark and Alex exchanged worried looks. "I am fine." Derek repeated a bit louder. He let go of the wall and stumbled towards Meredith's room. Alex followed him. "Are you really sure that your okay, man?" Alex questioned him.

"Can't you just leave me alone?" Derek hissed at him-

"Don't you have any babies to deliver?" Irritation or sudden emotional changes and changes in behavior can be a symptom too. Alex knew that. Rigorously, he shook his head. "I am busy trying to figure out a way to make that McDreamy ..." He points at Derek. "... gets his act together." Derek didn't reply, he just looked to the ground ruefully. He didn't let his eyes off the neurosurgeon as they made their way back to Meredith's hospital room.

As soon as both of them set their feet into Meredith's hospital room, they saw her sitting on the edge of her bed, fully clothed. She was not only wearing a thin hospital gown but a sweater and some normal pants. "Mer ..." Alex said flabbergasted. Derek was too shocked to speak. Why would she be in normal street clothes? She was a patient ... but then he remembered that she was meeting her father. "Mer." He said, his voice nearly breaking. It sounded a bit strange.

Meredith turned around. "Derek." She said a bit cooly. Derek bit his lip. He knew he should have expected that she would be harsh but somehow he just didn't think about it. "I am sorry. I am so, so, sorry for running. But ... those memories, I just couldn't bear it any longer. I ... I am sorry."

Their eyes met.

Before Derek knew it, he sat down to her and grasped her hand. "I didn't leave you, Mer."

Meredith looked at him with big eyes and nodded: "I have to go and meet him - down in the cafeteria. Do you think it will be okay?" She looked at him, searching for an answer. "Yes, it will be." Derek's voice was strong. Without a reply, Meredith just came nearer and nearer to his face. Their lips touched and a long kiss followed. Alex slowly disappeared, his mission was fulfilled. Meredith and Derek were happy again. They just needed a little help finding each other.

"I will tell you sometime, I promise." Derek whispered sofly.

"Hello." The man said when she arrived at the table. He looked nervous. "Hello." Meredith replied, unsure of what to say. This was awkward. Neither of them said something. They just looked at each other, trying to sort out the mess in their heads. So this was her father. Meredith gawked at the man who is supposed to be her father except for the fact that he wasn't her dad. He had never been there for anything. He was supposed to be there for her throughout her childhood that hasn't even been remotely easy. Now he was here but almost thirty years too late. He should have been there to all the dance recitals, high school graduation, even fifth grade graduation that isn't even real but he was supposed to be there. He should have been there. Now he was here. Now he just was a man with greyish hair who just got her mother pregnant with her. He was nothing more than just a sperm donor exactly because he had never been here for anything.

"I should be with Derek right now and instead of being with him I am here." Meredith said after they just keep staring and gawking at each other. Why am I here, what am I doing here? She asked herself. Thatcher just looked at the young woman. He didn't know what to reply. He knew this was not going to be easy. This mess, this whole situation wouldn't be easy. She would not make it easy. And he was right with assuming this. Meredith wouldn't make this easy for him. And the worst part of it was that she was right. He had never been there for her, he left before Meredith was even born. "Then why are you here?" He asked back. He was shifting uncomfortably. Meredith noticed his uneasiness. She shifted from one foot to another and so did her so called father. Or should she call him sperm donor? She didn't know the guy. Thatcher Grey was – is – just a man who is somehow related to her.

"So …" He said, looking at her expectantly. "What so?" Meredith asked back, alienated. He was making her feel insecure with his out of sudden appearance. She never asked to meet him after he never even bothered to visit or send cards on birthdays or Christmases. "So … maybe we should talk." Thatcher slowly suggested. He glanced at her. Meredith's mouth opened and closed.

"Maybe you should start with explaining. You have a lot of explaining to do." She got out.

"I can't … I am at a loss of words right now. So if you want to talk, talk. I am here and I am listening because it's only fair that you get your chance." Meredith got out. I can't even look at you right now without my stomach churning, she thought. Thatcher Grey swallowed and cleared his throat. "I don't know how to begin." He muttered to himself. God, that was downright pathetic. He was sitting there in front of her and didn't know what to say.

"What do you want to know?" He asked but he knew instantly that this had been the wrong question to ask. He shouldn't have asked this question. He shouldn't have, really. He knew that when he saw the disgusted look on Meredith's face.

"Why are you here?" She asked back, "I mean if you are here you should at least know what you want to say to your daughter that you have left behind so many years ago." Silence. "Why do think now is the right time to come into my life when you should have been here at least since I was born? But where were you? Not here. You should have been there for me throughout my childhood. It's what fathers do." She started confronting him. "I know." He said without thinking first. Meredith glared at him. She couldn't believe what she just heard. Why does he have the freaking nerves to say something to his abandoned daughter? Hello? "How can you?" The question was in the room. Silently, Meredith waited for a reply. But the longer the waited for a potential answer, the more she let go of it. "I can't and I am sorry for what I have put you through …" "Oh, are you?" Meredith cut him off. "Then why didn't you do better? Why did you leave? Wasn't I …"

Now she was fighting against breaking down in tears.

Her eyes burned, she felt her cheeks reddening. Meredith stared at the wooden table.

Damn it.

"Wasn't I worth it?" Thatcher swallowed hardly. That was a question that hits close to home. Why didn't he? He didn't have the answer as well. Thatcher's mind was empty.

This is getting more and more difficult with each second.

"Why was Molly worth it and I wasn't?" Peng. Another question that hit him like a ton of bricks. Thatcher felt his insides turning when he thought back to the question? How can she possibly know about Molly and Lexie. "Don't you do this, don't bring my children into this." He said. Meredith felt nothing. Molly and Lexie were his children. She was not and nor she will be. Her father wasn't interested in her. "How do you know about them?" He asked quietly, looking almost staring at the table. "I was the intern on Molly Grey's case. That's when I first … Anyway, we talked. About her marriage with Eric and the ring and that she has an older sister with a photographic memory named Lexie who goes to med school. Harvard. She just knows my name's Meredith, she does not know about the Grey part. That is your story to tell, not mine." Meredith normally wasn't that emotional. Normally she was a whole different than nowadays. Especially in this particular situation she was not her old self.

"Why did you leave?" She finally found the strength to repeat herself.

"… before I was even born?" She quietly finished her most pressing question.

Her voice shook- Thatcher Grey still hadn't answered it. She shuddered slightly, for a second and closed her eyes. Thatcher watched her and decided to ask. "Are … you okay?" Her whatsoever asked, trying to get through to her. When he noticed the discontinued intravenous line and also discontinued the central line in her left subclavian, he didn't know what he should do. She was here as a patient? In this hospital, some of the other doctors told him that she was a surgical intern. Did she need surgery too? Meredith slowly opened her eyes again, for a second she felt light - headed. She was sure it was because of this situation. It can also be her body's way of telling her to slow down things, she needed to take it easy. She was still recovering from a major procedure. Uneasiness creeped through her veins. This conversation wasn't going the way she had imagined to go.

"Do I look okay to you?" She kind of snapped at her him when she had registered he had asked her a question ."Em." He just responded, gazing intently on the table. As if he was overly interested in what color the table had.

"Do I look … I am twenty one days post - op open heart procedure. Does that sound okay to you?"

She didn't even wait for him to answer. Her blood boiled.

"Heart procedure?" He repeated. He had no quite the idea what she meant with that. "Yes, open heart surgery. You have heard correct." He breathed in sharply. Oh, no, this was not good at all. "You want to know the reason? I bet you do. Don't you?" She directed this question to him. No answer. "You won't ask but you want to know it anyway. But you deserve this information, if you will ever give a damn … I don't know." She trailed off.

"What are you talking about?" Thatcher asked confused.

He didn't get what she was talking about, he had no idea. "I am telling you anyway."

The silent 'why' was hanging there, left unsaid. Meredith paused, Thatcher looked down at the table, wishing desperately to disappear. He knew had had made a huge mistake he had done. He wasn't sure if Meredith would be able to forgive for what he had done to her. But he hoped she would give him the change to get to know her. Eloquent silence, before Meredith started speaking: "I shouldn't be saying this, I know. It's mean and unfair. But I can't. I will tell you that thing. To make you feel guilty. To make you feel more guilty tan you already feeling." Meredith said sharply, she stopped to let the words sink in. "Oh, God. Now you must think that I am terrible, that I am terrible person." She starts rambling. "No, it's okay. You have every right to say that." Thatcher said. He diminished slightly on his chair and prepared himself for what was about to happen.

For sure it was not something small.

Meredith's eyes beholded on Thatcher. He dipped his head, no longer able to face her.

"I was born with a CHD." Meredith quarried out.

Silence.

Meredith suddenly stood up. "I need to go, I have some things to do. Nice meeting you." With that she was gone. She disappeared from the cafeteria, Thatcher looked after her until he didn't see her anymore. Until she was out of sight. He had screwed up, really screwed up. Lexie wasn't talking to him, right now, they weren't exactly on speaking terms. Molly and Susan never say anything but they look at him. And Meredith ... well, that's one hell of a piece of work.

Cristina crammed some money in the vending machine. She was hungry but she had no intention of going to the cafeteria to eat. Due to the fact that Meredith was there, meeting her father for the first time and she doesn't want to intrude. She hoped this one would be working. Because the vending machine on the other floor was not working. It had put out of action and there wasn't a sign or notification or something that ells you this machine isn't working right now and that it can't be used. But no, there was no sign. Somewhere down the line she got fed up with the machine and discovered that it has been shut down. But hey, this time she seemed to be lucky. This vending machine's working.

She pushed a few buttons and waited for the food to drop out.

With a thud, the power bar and some sandwiches plus a bottle of water landed and Cristina bent down and grabbed it. Then she made her way to the tunnels. Normally, she was there with Meredith. It was their place. Sometimes Izzie, George and Alex were there too. But with Meredith talking to McSpermDonor she was prepared to eat alone.

But she wasn't alone. Izzie was there too. With George. Alex was somewhere she didn't know where. Cristina made a beeline for the gurney and let herself fall on it. For a moment she just lays on her back and stared at the wall. She then sat back up, stretching her arms. Izzie was watching her.

"What is it, blondie." She asked without turning to her.

Izzie scoffed. "I am good. Thanks."

"Doesn't look like it. You look like you would burst out into fire at any moment." Cristina stated bluntly.

"How is she?" Izzie asked, looking to the ground.

"I am not telling you. If you want to know, why don't you go and ask her yourself." Cristina shrugged her off. "You know what Cristina, right now, right now in this moment, I don't like you." Izzie told her bluntly.

"Oh, I think that's based on mutuality. But don't ask me, 'cause right now I don't like you either."

"I never wanted it to happen." Izzie protested.

"Lame excuse. What's your point in doing that? I mean, you already know that I'll have the last word."

"Just shut up." Izzie hissed.

"Fine." Without another word, Cristina bit into her power bar and opened a book about cardiothoracic surgery. George just sat there, watching them how they get on each other's nerves. It was cold before Cristina got here but now with Cristina and Izzie in one room, it's all heated up - noticely. How much longer will they do that? It's starting to annoy him. So he decided to say something into the silence they were in: "Could you please just be friendly for a day? It's been what, three weeks between the incident and now ... I mean it can't go on like that. We have to get ourselves together and work out some solution. Because it can't go on like now." George was now breathing heavily.

"It can't, I am sorry. We need to crack it. We need to get over it and focus on what is coming."

Pause.

"Cristina, I know you're blaming Izzie but here's the thing, it won't help matters."

He turned to Izzie.

"Same goes for you. I know you are mad at Meredith for never saying anything about the CHD but do you know that you have a big mouth sometimes and if you would have said anything to anyone the whole hospital would have known - accidently - but my point is, don't let it affect our friendship. I mean, currently there are some hardships but we'll get through them. We're MAGIC. We can do it without growing apart ..."

He sighed deeply. "I know we already do, but at least try. For me. Because I am not mad at Meredith. I get it. I get why she didn't tell us. But some things are better off if being left in the dark. That is what she thought. Even if she is wrong about it, she is still my friend, one my closet friends." George looked at Izzie and Cristina who were both silent.

"Don't let it end that way. That's all I am asking. Get. It. Together. And. Pick. Up. The. Freaking. Pieces." With that George stomped off. It had astounded them, George's speech really had astounded them. Cristina was amazed, genuinely. Even Izzie looked like she would consider talking about her problems ...

Meredith waited for the elevator. She wanted to get out of this hospital room. This time, she had told the nurses where she was going to be. She wasn't about to do the same mistake she'd done before she had the cardiac procedure. And it almost ended deadly for her. Meredith Grey was headed to the cafeteria, Derek was somewhere with Mark. She had convinced him to do something she wanted to do and since her state was pretty much stable and it only went upwards since a few days, he agreed. Stubborn as he was it had taken her a while to convince him but she succeeded. Now she was impatiently waiting for the elevator. She was using a wheelchair so she wouldn't not put any strain on her incision. Ripping the incision open would one mean setback a few steps and she wanted to avoid that. So she followed post- op protocol. But she still worried about him. It has only been a few days since he had been in that accident. Even if he only suffered a mild concussion. Also, Mark was there too and Derek was a neurosurgeon, okay, even when his judgment can be clouded due to the whole concussion thing going on. Even if he claims to be okay. Lack of judgment can be a symptom too. Meredith was pulled back to reality when when she found herself in front of the elevator. She waited impatiently to get on it. But the elevator was one of the slowest ... Which means waiting. Slightly annoyed she looked around and half - listened to two doctors who were talking about a case.

Then the elevator doors opened with a loud ding, that sounded like pling. Meredith was about to wheel herself in the elevator but voice interrupted her by doing this: "Wait, let me help you." The voice belongs to a young woman. Younger than her, she thought, maybe three or two years. She was pretty, had short black hair and a sweet and friendly smile. She looked like a nice person. The black-haired woman wheeled her in, then she asked her where she wanted to go. Meredith smiled at her, she was thankful for her help. Cristina was not here, Derek was somewhere with Mark and the others, she didn't know, maybe they were in the operating room or the emergency department covering the pit or maybe they were doing charts.

"Thanks." She said towards the woman. The woman should smiled friendly and listened to her. "I am going to the cafeteria. I just needed to get out of that room." Then Meredith shook her head: "Sorry for bothering you. You probably didn't wanna hear that. I ... I am sorry." She apologized hastily, her voice was slightly chastised like she was a little child that has done something wrong. The black-haired noted the embarassment of her and smiled kindly before she replied. "No no. It's fine, it's okay." The other woman replied. "I kind of had a crappy day too."

Pause.

"But I bet it wasn't as bad as yours. I mean these central lines et cetera don't look like they were comfortable." She said, pointing to the discontinued central line on her left subclavian. Meredith didn't know if she should say something to comfort her. What was this with this woman? Why was she feeling like she would know her from somehow. It was weird, really.

Then she decided it was worth a try: "Do you wanna talk about?" She asked cautiously, maybe the woman would freak out on her for asking for such intimate details of her private life. But she just sighed loudly and then said: "My father was married before he married my mother. Which wouldn't be that awful. They divorced and then he met my mother." The woman breathed in and looked at Meredith. She gazed at her as if she had seen her before ...

Okay, where was this going? Meredith didn't know. She just listened to the younger woman's babbling.

She was kind of rambling. Meredith seemed lost in thoughts ever since they had done the test to see if she really was Thatcher's daughter. And the results came back positive.

"Now my father has another daughter. They did a test to confirm the results ..." She laughed, fake and emotionless laugh. Meredith shuddered. Was this girl her half sister? Was she? She didn't know her name. "I don't even know if I want to meet her? I mean, what if she doesn't like me or doesn't want contact?" She wondered out loud. Meredith didn't reply. She just wanted to disappear. If this girl was her sister, then she probably won't even get the chance to meet her. Then there was a pling and the elevator doors opened. The girl left the elevator. "Bye." She said. "Bye." Meredith replied.

Then their ways parted ...

End of fourth week: Meredith and Cristina could not stop laughing. They didn't even exactly know why they were laughing. Maybe someone cracked a joke or something like that. "Oh my God." Cristina said breathlessly between a few laughs. "Make it stop." She pleaded her friend but Meredith was helpless as well. "I cannot stop." Meredith said, snorting, although both Cristina and Meredith eventually calmed down after a few minutes. "Good. Now I can breathe …" Cristina said. "Normally." Meredith deadpanned. Dryly. "Not so funny." "Oh, you can't – that's not really funny, that's right? Should I call someone?" Meredith sounded deadly serious. "No." Cristina stared at her friend. "I am great." She said. "Good." Cristina rolled her eyes when she heard Meredith's reply. After some time, both calmed down. Just in time they did before Dr. Bailey, accompanied from Derek and Dr. Preston Burke, entered the hospital room. Immediately turned Meredith and Cristina turned their attention to them, awaiting patiently what was coming.

"Maybe they will let you out of here. Sooner than you thought." Cristina whispered into her friends ear.

"Or maybe they noticed some abnormalities on the scans which even more likely because I am me. And I am a lightning rod for bad things, bad things keep happening to me, so why not now too?"

Meredith was already fearing the worst.

On Bailey's and Burke's faces you could not tell whether they are carrying good or bad news. Rather good than bad, Meredith silently hoped. "Dr. Grey ..." But next came Dr. Bailey not, because it was interrupted: "Please tell me that the values have not deteriorated and I finally, finally allowed home?!" Interrogatively, Meredith looked over to the general surgeon and her mentor.

"No, do not worry, Grey. Your values are good and yes, you can go home." Dr. Bailey smiled.

"Oh God, finally." The young surgeon was pleased. "This about time."

"But you have to still preserve that is clear to you, Grey, right?" Dr. Bailey warned the young doctor, knowing that Meredith was the type who will try to fast-track her recovery. "After how many days before I get to work again?" She asked. Now, Dr. Webber turned on, "So after two weeks of rest you can work again. But don't stress yourself, recovery isn't easy and shouldn't be rushed. You've been through a lot lately." Meredith nodded, and then asked, "What about the control echo? Maybe it's wise to do one after what happened … to see whether there are problems with the valve - which I don't hope, really - and the whole residual shunt thingie." Meredith questioned the doctors.

"The first date is tomorrow, and the second and third is then determined by the eventual findings if there is an indication for another diagnostic echo. What I do not expect." Dr. Burke explained and smiled reassuringly. Cristina lowered her head, which not only catched Meredith's eye but Burke was still looking at her nonchalant, then he said: "Get well soon, Grey." His gaze wandered to Cristina. Dr. Bailey and Burke left the room.

"Finally, I get out of here." Meredith was elated.

She grinned happily. That Cristina made laugh. "You'd have to see you." She gasped, giggling. "Stop it, you didn't need to lie here and get yourself bored to death." Meredith groused played and sought a offended expression. Then Derek entered the room. He immediately fell on Meredith's happy grin, and Cristina looked relaxed. "What is going on here?" He asked, confused, looking from Meredith to Cristina. "I can go home." Meredith said, smiling, "you only have to sign the release papers. Then I am freaking free." Derek came up to Meredith and kissed her. She returned the kiss, then Derek said softly, "I'm so glad that you survived." Meredith looked at him in surprise. "What do you mean?" She asked. "I'm so happy and I am happy that you're alive." Meredith wanted to ask something, but Derek kissed her again.

Cristina stayed in the background, she wouldn't want to ruin that special moment to her friend. Suddenly realized this, as her pager bleeped loudly. A loud noise was interrupting the happiness. 911. She has to go. Damned pager call. Cristina had no choice but to leave the room hastily. "Cristina." Meredith called her person asking for, but Cristina had left the room already.

"What's wrong with her?" Meredith asked in astonishment, Derek shrugged his shoulders, as he did not know what was going on with Cristina Yang. Cristina ran down the hall, after a few meters, she stopped.

Her pager beeped another time. Grrr. She hated this thing right now. Normally she didn't hate her pager, especially when she was paged for a cardio case but now, right now her person, Meredith, was being freaking discharged. Why did someone always page her when the time was bad ... She sighed loudly and looked at her pager. It was the ER. Great, they were paging her for sutures. Cristina groaned and then made her way to the ER. Maybe it was a good case. Because, well, it still was a 911 page which means it's a medical emergency. And she *loved* medical emergencies as long as they don't involve her friends. Like Meredith who was her person, not only her best friend but also her person and sister.

Dr. Bailey came back with the discharge papers. Derek signed the discharge papers that Dr. Bailey had brought over. "Okay, I've signed the discharge papers." He said and laid the papers back on the table. Bailey looked over it and then she gazed to Meredith and held the papers to her. "Here, now you just have to sign it." Dr. Bailey told her. Meredith immediately reached for the papers and wrote something down, she was energetic and enthusiastic. To finally get to go home. "Can we go?" Derek Meredith pulled out of her thoughts.

"Um ..." she gave an answer. Derek looked at her anxiously. Meredith rolled her eyes. He was overprotecting and worried, clearly overworried. She was more than fine, she was finally getting out of here. "Is everything all right? Do you want to leave now, Mer? I think we both want out of here as soon as possible." He could not resist asking. Meredith tossed her (hopefully soon to be-) husband an amused look. "Yeah, I'm fine." She sounded convincing. As in really convincing. Heck, she's been ready to get out of here since one week Tyler, the nurse had now brought the wheelchair into the room, because you as a patient you were obliged to use a wheelchair. At least on hospital ground. "Come on, I'll help you." Derek offered. "No, no. Go on, do your own thing. I am fine here, I have to be if I want to go to work as soon as possible. I am way behind the others." Meredith stood up carefully and gently went a few steps. Derek was at her side instantly and propped her, just as a precaution if something should be.

After a few steps Meredith Grey had reached the wheelchair and sat down, immediate relief could be seen on her face, purely facilitated. She breathed in the fresh air when her face hit the sun for the first time in weeks. She took another deep breath and closed her eyes. Finally, no more cold sterile walls ... That was a relief.

She was happy when Derek helped her into the passenger seat and drove off of the hospital parking lot. She leaned her face against the cold glass of the window. They would be home soon. She would be sleeping in her own beds. Suddenly, she felt weariness flooding through her veins and before she knew it she drifted off into a light sleep.

The surgical scar was still not completely healed. Especially it was still quite visible on the chest because of the median sternotomy. The scar was still red and maybe even a little swollen, but over time it become more white once it's fully healed and eventually fade a bit. But it, the scar on the chest, would never fully go away, not entirely. A thin, white line, she would always remember this re -surgery. Sadly, it will never go away. She wished she had never been born with such a defect. Then, much would be easier. On the other hand, the scar and the history, her past, what she had been through, that is a part of her life, her story.

It is a part of her, plain and simple.

A/N: Hey, what do you think? Meredith is being discharged. Which is really good, don't you think?

For now, I am done torturing Meredith and Derek. They've been through enough. But it won't be the end. They still have many battles to fight. This story is nowhere near an end, just so you know.