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Chap. 25 – Minute to Minute
Reminders of his old life were slipping away. He followed a damn schedule. What he really hated was his lack of authority. Fear controlled the house now. Don didn't know which was worse, not being allowed to determine his course of action for the day, or interacting with all the people who expected a damaged mentally challenge boy. The long list included much to his horror too many co-workers and friends. Strangers initiated conversations about events he couldn't even recall.
He couldn't revoke because the threat of being locked up was too real. Gertrude seemed to excel at ordering an entire household around. Charlie avoided him. He had really screwed up when he had gotten drunk and now he wasn't declared man enough to handle the consequences. Everyone else always paid the price for his actions, his decisions. So involved in his pity party he didn't respond to the voice and jerked when he felt a hand on his shoulder.
"Hey Donny, sorry didn't mean to startle you. Can we talk honestly for a bit?"
"Sure," although his spirit lack any conviction in the statement.
"Come over here and sit for a spell." Mark Johnson, almost 7 feet tall with an easy-going smile and almost everyone compared him to Denzel Washington except for the fact that he was a bit older and heavier than the actor. "Hey, I really could use your assistance. You see the other guys really want to learn how to play basketball. I know your situation is unique and you've really matured since your last visit. However, I could really use your help. Since you are here anyway, would you mind instructing the guys on the finer points of the game?"
"Aren't you afraid I'll break and suddenly revert to a five-year old?" Don couldn't keep the sarcasm and contempt out of his voice.
"I know you don't know this, but to these guys you're a regular. It's amazing to see the transformation but to them your just one of the guys. You use to enjoy playing with them. I get you don't recognize any of us, but I think in the long run you'll come to understand the gift you've been given and a rare opportunity to give back. This place helped you, now maybe you can help them. Unlike you, they'll never regain their adult memories or mature, because they were always special. But I bet you can relate to the reactions people give them when they go on shopping trips. People can be cruel to those that are unique and odd."
"I'll help on one condition."
"If I can manage it, I will give it a shot."
"Treat me as an adult."
"Donny, I can't jeopardize your health or risk making your peculiar situation worse."
"How is treating me like an adult going to risk my health?"
"One word, Charlie."
Don looked away, damn it felt like a punch to his gut. "That's low."
"Donny, a few weeks back, you were one of the boys. You had a big conniption fit over the boys hogging the hoop when in fact it was you that couldn't share. Your actions clearly showed the mentally of a five-year old. It's difficult for me to believe you are now suddenly normal, but I'm trying." He looked away and muttered; I don't want you to lose this place. I think you need this outlet, but I won't harm your health either. If they tell me to watch over you, then I will. It is as simple as that. Can you respect that?"
"I don't remember coming here. I don't know you. It is so weird that everyone has stories to share about what I've done here, but I don't remember anything."
"I can only imagine how that feels."
"I understand there are limitations but for a couple of hours a day, can you talk to me with respect and treat me like an adult."
"Donny, I think you already have your answer. Now how about if we help the others learn how to play basketball. Maybe it is just shooting hoops but maybe in time they can really learn how to be a team. What Gertrude doesn't know, won't hurt anyone."
Don smiled as for a moment as the dark cloud disappeared. Oh there where reminders that he had still had restrictions, but out on the court for a few hours he felt he had a small measure of control. It felt good to do something constructive with his time. A small measure of pride of being allowed to have time treated as a young adult, it was Mark's compromise.
"So consider yourself a teenager. Not yet a man, but no longer a baby either. No one will notice since I will only call you Donny, but hopefully that will help just a bit."
Don smiled and even took the embrace. As far as Gertrude was concerned nothing had changed but for him it was a big boost to his self-esteem and for the first time he felt he had regain just a bit of control. Then his world came to a crashing halt when Gertrude informed him of the party held in his honor. Everyone had been invited and he could do nothing to stop it. Now nothing but dread filled up the rest of his day waiting for the other shoe to drop.
The crisp evening turned out to be beautiful with a slight breeze but nothing he couldn't handle. Don trembled and took a deep breath trying to steady his nerves. In a way, he was surprised they had allowed him to slip away on his own, but he doubted that he wasn't being carefully watched, as he was never allowed to truly be alone.
Pity, he hated the looks of pity he saw in everyone's eyes. The party had been a terrible idea, as it only drove home the point how embarrassing his life had become. How he hated Gertrude for inviting everyone over. She had made her point without even raising her voice. He could almost imagine her high pitch tone now and cringed in anticipation as she got on his last nerve. "Donny Eppes your not in charge, you may have been a fine FBI Agent but for now those days are gone. You have to accept your limitations or you will put yourself and others in danger."
He hadn't been consulted on the impromptu get together. But she had proven her point, driven the nail into the coffin and he had escaped to the koi pond, hoping the guest would take the hint and just leave. His life was over and he just wished he had never regain his senses. If only he hadn't recovered. So intense in his pity party, he didn't hear the footsteps that stopped close to him.
"Hey, man…man this is plan awkward."
"Tell me about it." For a moment surprise registered on his face as he realized instead of Colby invading his space, it was Ian Edgerton. "When did you show up?"
Ian ignored the last question and instead studied his friend. "Eppes, you might be down, but you're not out. To be honest I didn't think you could even recover this much. You were such a mess the last time I saw you."
"Damn."
"Hey, nothing to feel ashamed about. Not sure if I would be able to handle the news with as much grace as you have shown today. I'm sure this was designed to show you how much you have lost. But Eppes, what I see is how much you've gained. For someone that should never have found your way back, you did the impossible. So what, if you have to have an escort for a bit, so be it. Get your head in the game. The way I see it, you scared someone really badly with deep pockets. Why else would they make it so difficult for you to get back into the game? You get a lead, I'll gladly check it out for you."
His eyes misted over and tears threatened to fall down his cheeks, but he managed to get them under control. He hated how he couldn't control his emotions as easily as he once did. Before he could shut his mouth down, he asked the question, "Ian, did you really find me…see me act like a damn baby boy."
"You always were a shoot from the hip and aim to punch you in the gut kind of guy. Glad to see some things haven't changed." He sat on the bench across from Don and proceeded to give the information that might be a bit more than the man could handle. But he respected the man too much not to answer his questions. "Yep, I saw a hurt, messed up kid. A man with the guts to do what he had to do, to survive…nothing to be ashamed of, nothing at all."
"I don't…I can't get my mind wrapped around that. It's just so surreal." He looked away but he felt the presence of his friend and found he couldn't ignore him.
Ian offered his arm and at first they clasp arms and then Ian pulled Eppes into a manly hug and whispered. "Everyone of your friends are proud of you, and anyone else that says differently, ignore their ass. You hold your head up high, no matter what."
"Thanks, I guess." He almost smirked, but it was still too raw to overcome the embarrassment he felt. They separated and neither could look each other in the eye.
"Give it time. You've got plenty of time on your side."
"Donny, I think it is time you said goodnight to your friends. You've got a busy schedule tomorrow, so I think it is best if you turned in early." Her high pitch voice grated on everyone's nerves.
"Fine, I just need to tell the guest goodnight." He had been beaten and had to face the music with as much respect as he could muster.
"Not a problem Donny, just wanted to make sure you were in bed on time."
"You've made your point…no reason to be rude. I'm not a child and I'm capable of comprehending why I have to follow your stupid rules. But don't expect me to like it." How he hated this woman but he couldn't risk the confrontation so he backed down for now. But seeing Ian had done something. He could investigate, maybe not in his normal style but there were friends that could do some digging. Something to think about, maybe he could start acting instead of just reacting all the time. Maybe he could gain the upper hand, if he went slowly.
"Once Don's proved that he's recovered, what on earth do you plan to do next?" Ian couldn't resist goading Gertrude since he wasn't under any of her threats. He knew that Don understood he was investigating on his own time. Hopefully they would find a solid lead to get Don out of this mess. The only plus side on the whole fiasco, was watching his friend get the help he needed to deal with this mess. No one could sweep this under the rug and be all right. In the long run, it would be good thing and help his friend figure out how to become whole once again. He wasn't sure he could face his co-workers with as much dignity as Don had exhibited.
Alan approached, as it was clear that everyone was starting to leave. "Ian thanks for stopping by." He couldn't describe how he felt watching his son find a backbone in this mess. He hoped the party had proven that he wasn't alone and many were trying to find a way to help his son get his life back. He didn't really look forward to the news he had to give Don tomorrow. But that was tomorrow's news and how he wished the black clouds would disappear and allow his family to just have some peace for a bit. Please, God give me strength to get through this. He should be happy that Donny wasn't child-like anymore, but he missed his confident self-efficient boy. Never thought that I would ever say that. Funny how he was almost looking forward to cleaning up after the party, at least it would occupy his mind for a while. He could use a break from his frustrations of not being able to help his family.
"Hi Donny. Take a seat. Gertrude, I will call you when he is ready to be picked back up. I expect today's session will take longer today."
"Great, more bad news." Don slumped in the seat, at the same time Alan walked in with Colby behind his heels, although his crutches were definitely slowing him down.
Crystal gave just enough time for Gertrude to leave before she launched into the next piece of devastating news. "Donny, with Charlie no longer an option as a guardian, we decided we needed someone else as a backup."
"Damn it. I hate this. I'm not a baby."
"No, you're not. Actually I think I have a bit of good news. With another guardian declared and Gertrude giving a good report, we may be able to loosen the noose just a bit." Crystal smiled trying to encourage him.
"Don."
Crystal frowned, "Alan we agreed."
"Sorry, I hate this. Donny, with Charlie out of the picture, I figured this would be better than having Gertrude live with us forever. I didn't want to get your hopes up to only have them dashed once again, but it looks as if it will go through."
"I thought it would be good to give you a head's up. If it doesn't go through nothing changes, but if it does, Gertrude might become more like a part-time babysitter." Crystal watched for Donny's reactions to the news.
"So who would be my new backup guardian?" Don felt numb waiting for the other shoe to drop.
"Me. Now I know this would be weird for both of us, but since I'm living at the house anyway, and I'm not really someone new to add to the picture, they asked if I would consider the idea. It can't take place until I get off the crutches, but it does provide for a way to give you more independence."
"Gertrude approves of Colby. He has enough authority to reign in any of Donny's wild ideas, and has proven to be a valuable asset lately in handling the day to day issues." Crystal read the last statement from a report and showed it to Donny. "Her approval, most likely will help in getting him stated as your second guardian, allowing Alan to have some help when needed."
Don fled from the table and crossed over to the window. Colby gathered his crutches and crossed over. He whispered, "It would allow us to work on this uncover without drawing any suspicions and hopefully find the information to get you reinstated as competent. My agenda isn't totally aligned with theirs. But keep it under your hat, will you?"
Don turned, "Fine if I can't be declared competent, I'll accept it for now." The clenching of his hands demonstrated the restraint he was using to keep from exploding.
Crystal smiled; Don was showing improvement. "So we will discuss your feelings during the session."
"Let's not and say we did."
"Donny, I'll be with you in a moment," Crystal made it clear her expectations would be followed through. Once he had closed the door, she spoke with two remaining men. "Well that went well, he couldn't be expected to like this. You both have to make it clear he's still Donny not Don."
"Is he making progress, are you able to get him to open up, or is he still stone walling you."
"Alan, he's improving. He isn't ready to challenge the court and I don't expect he will at least not for some time. He may never fully recover. You know in a way he's lucky. There are some family members which are declared competent and aren't really capable of providing for themselves, much less anyone else. You want to give him his independence back, to declare him capable of being in control of his life decisions. But I must warn you of the danger; I wouldn't be doing my job otherwise. What would happen if he froze in the field? Or worse yet, he was once again in charge and someone took advantage of his weaknesses and used it against him. How could he recover from that? I want to support you, but he isn't ready yet for the responsibility. He's far too fragile and denying it won't help him or you. You can't keep slipping by calling him Don. We can't afford for him to have any delusional episodes, or setbacks."
"Look, I get it. You don't have to beat a dead horse to the ground. I slipped." He paced unable to contain his frustration any longer. "None of us call him Don and this piece of news just knocked the wind out of his sails. I just want him to get normal. I just want this nightmare to end. Is that asking too much?"
"No, and really I do understand. We are all on the same side. Now get out of here, I don't want to keep him waiting." She escorted the men out and then walked into her office. "Donny, lets talk about this weeks highlights."
"First of all, I hate that no one will call me Don. Donny is a freak and I can't figure out why I deserved this in the first place. I'm a grown man! You act as if I'm some piece of china. I'm not fragile."
"Donny, Charlie trusted you, but you took advantage of that trust. You created the restrictions that now all of us must deal with, yet you've never admitted to your actions."
"I just hate this. How would you feel if you were me?"
Refusing to get pulled into the argument, instead she asked this question. "How do you feel? Instead of ignoring me, maybe it is time to just answer the question. For all I know, you may enjoy having all of this attention and are just protesting to…"
"Enjoy it, you think I enjoy it! Damn it, lady I hate this. Fear controls every step. I get I made the situation worse, but I didn't cause it. I didn't ask for any of this to happen." He could barely control his anger. "How dare you accuse me, otherwise!"
"Anger is good, now maybe we can start to deal with it. You can't bury your emotions or they will spin out of control when you least expect it. I think you understand the consequences now, without me having to do any more warnings."
"Everyone remembers something that is just damn embarrassing. How could I have allowed it to happen? How on earth was I turned into a damn child? But too many people know about it for it not to be true. I just don't know how to forget that, could you?"
"I don't want you to forget it. All of us have an inner child that demands attention every once in awhile. So your inner child got loose for a time, now you can comfort it, heal it and put yourself back together. This has to happen or I can never support you in being declared competent again."
"I can't control my emotions, I cry at a drop of a hat, now. I really hate this."
How she really wanted to just pull the young man into a hug, but she manage to keep her professionalism and with great difficulty asked the hard questions. "Why is it so wrong to cry?"
Time passed slowly. Colby was named as his backup guardian in case Alan couldn't perform the duties. It also would allow him someone he could legally share the burden with if he had a business trip and he couldn't have Donny accompany him due to his medical appointments. Charlie wanted to help out, but earning money seemed to be the only opportunity allowed to contribute to his brother's welfare. He wasn't even allowed to visit his brother without someone else being present at all times. Colby and Ian kept the Eppes family in the dark about their findings. Right now it was too dangerous for any slip-up. Colby usually met with Ian when Gertrude was responsible for Donny or he was attending sessions with Crystal.
"Ian, I think some of Donny's strange behaviors are tied to some incident we aren't aware of." It became second nature for Colby to call his ex-boss Donny, in order to protect him. He had to think long term. He didn't want to create a slip up that could get Don removed from his home. Things were too shaky to risk any altercations.
"I think I found a bread crumb, a possible lead about Don's judge. Think he's under orders to make sure Don is never declared competent again. Can't prove anything and I'm concerned that exposing the truth right now will do more harm than good at this point. What if Don's memory holds the key to the mystery and we tip their hand so they can cover everything up?"
"Do you think Crystal Jones is in cahoots with the judge?" Ian wondered.
"Right now, I'm not willing to cross her off the list, but she does seem to really care about Donny's welfare. For the most part he seems to feel he can trust her, well within reason."
"What I don't like is this list of expenditures of furniture, we found. I wish the trail hadn't grown cold. If only we could find out who on earth bought these items. How many people could really want a high chair that was large enough to fit a grown man. It has to be a lead."
"Ian, I agree. But we have to be careful not to tip our hand. At least we know it was delivered near the Eppes home. If we only had a date, that would help to narrow it down."
"I still say we ask Charlie for help. Let him do his freaky math thing."
"No, too dangerous. He's still blaming himself for what Don is going through right now. Now's not the time…but we will get a break, I can just feel it."
"Oh Gertrude, it isn't a problem. I understand perfectly. Little Donny can't be left alone. You say that his father will be home in a few hours. No problem. I hope your sister's problem can be handled quickly. Donny likes my cookies and I'm sure we can find a program he likes to watch. You just hurry up and take care of your sister. I'll make sure little Donny is in capable hands." If anyone else had really been paying attention, they would have noticed the Cheshire grin.
"Mrs. Cox I really don't need to be entertained. The milk and cookies were nice but I'm not that…" He dropped off to sleep in mid sentence.
"Donny, can you hear me? Good. Boys, hurry it up. We don't have long. Now is the moment we've prepared for. Make sure he can't get out of the high chair. I'll make sure Sunny's photos are clearly in his sight. Now move." She ordered.
Donny squirmed; his neck was killing him. Slowly he became aware of sitting in a high chair. It didn't make any sense. He frowned when he saw the many pictures of his dead brother.
"Donny, what do you remember about your brother?"
"The name's Don, Mrs. Cox. What is the meaning of this?"
Mrs. Cox played a recording, which sent shivers down his spine.
"Donny be a good boy, I don't want to hurt you."
"Sunny?" He felt a prick and then he was sound asleep once more.
"Okay boys, quickly we don't have much time. Luckily, he shouldn't remember anything. I bet he will have a relapse before the week is out." She couldn't contain the glee. Little Donny should be visiting us all shortly. Quickly the hidden panel was once again secured; Don was laid on the couch with a bright orange afghan tucked firmly around him just in time as Alan knocked on the door.
"Oh Mrs. Cox. Thank you so much for being willing to watch Donny with such short notice."
She smiled and patted his arm. "Not a problem, you know how he loves my cookies. What are neighbors for if we can't help out sometimes?"
Alan helped his bleary-eyed son get home and tucked him in bed. Just before dinner time Colby woke up Donny.
"Colby can I ask you something?"
"Sure, anytime you know that."
"Can you make sure I'm never left with Mrs. Cox alone again. I don't want to go back there."
"Why?"
Don looked away feeling ashamed. He couldn't remember why, but he didn't want to ever go back there again. He felt so mixed up. One moment he felt like his normal self and then suddenly everything was upside down and he just wanted his Daddy to hug him and make it all better. It didn't make any sense. His emotions were too tospy turvy but if he ever admitted it vocally he would be positive he would never be declared competent again. He couldn't voice his fears but trying to contain them was getting more difficult. He had to trust someone. He prayed his trust with Colby wouldn't let him down.
"Don, look at me. When you were special you always had little spells we could call them. It always happened every time we left you with Mrs. Cox. I need to know what you remember?"
"I don't…just that she gives me the creeps. Something bad will happen, I just know if I talk about it, I'll never be normal again. I'd rather die first than stay like this forever."
"You have to talk about it. I promise I won't judge you. I know you're actually the older man, but you've become like a brother to me. I'll do everything in my power to protect you and your family." Before Don could protest, he found himself snared into a fierce hug. "Your secret is safe with me."
Donny couldn't keep the floodgates from opening. He sobbed in his arms at the same time hating his weakness. He finally started hiccupping and Colby got his attention. "Don, look at me." He waited until Don met his eyes. "You have to deal with this, before it destroys you."
"I kept dreaming I was stuck in a damn high chair. Do you know how disturbing this all sounds? I can't talk about it or I'll be locked up. Everyone has made it quite clear how little control I have over the situation. Everything is so jumbled up. I refused to loose control again. I can't believe the stories. If you didn't have proof, I would declare you all raving lunatics. But what does that make me?"
"Someone who's been through a lot. Hey at least this time you're able to talk to me. That's an improvement. At least you aren't babbling. I think that was what use to scare us the most. You couldn't tell us how you felt and we couldn't make it better."
"I don't want to be alone."
"You won't, I promise…someone will watch you through the night, I promise." Colby had this feeling that something had shifted and for the first time it felt as if things were finally going their way.
Later, Alan worried that his son was coming down with a cold, so he fed him some soup and crackers and watched him sleep. Colby used the distraction to make a call to Ian.
"Check out the neighbor, Mrs. Cox. See if you can trace any of those odd furniture pieces to her. I think we may have gotten our first break in the case."
"Roger…it would be good to finally get a break on this case. Somehow they are always a step ahead."
"Hopefully, not any more." Colby couldn't help staring out the window. His leg ached, but he was glad he was finally off his crutches. He definitely would keep an eye out on Mrs. Cox.
A/N: First of all thanks to everyone that review. It really does mean a lot to me. Funny how one review helped me put my doubts in perspective? I know how this story isn't for everyone and to finally have it said that it was the story and not the writing gave me some freedom I had been lacking. To the point I'm amazed how fast this chapter wrote itself.
Once guardianship is set up, it's difficult to end. Critics say judges rarely review a case to see whether guardianship is still appropriate. Even when guardians argue for ending the arrangement, judges are often reluctant to reverse their decision. But for wards, terminating guardianship can be almost impossible, particularly if their guardian does not agree.
This piece of research has caused the difficulties that Don now faces and has given birth to the sequel, which I've included in this story instead of ending it and starting a sequel. Although Alan is in agreement to terminate guardianship, the judge refuses to reverse the order. If it makes it creepy, so be it. Consider it an AU if that helps.
Words can have a powerful effect on a person. I decided to try writing to heal some very hurtful words by a trusted person. I was told, "I don't know what makes you think you can write when you can't even write a letter correctly." Others added on to that belief that I was a poor writer. Without the computer, I don't believe that I would be writing. Most of my stories are full of the beginning images, like a movie but finding the right words to describe those images, well that is what really causes the delay. I guess I do have the slowest muse in history.
We live in a society that harms others that are unique or different. I guess that is how this story got started. Right now Don doesn't fit with his family and co-workers. He will have to struggle but I always plan on him finding his way back. I like stories that take a risk and show how the damage changed everyone and proved the power of healing. I have no intentions of turning Don child-like again.
I can't promise that updates will come this fast but I do want to finish what I started. I'm stubborn that way. Your support means a lot. Feedback is the only way I can tell if this story is still working. My twisted sense of humor cause this story to be born. I guess that is why I have to accept the fact I'm weird.
If you find grammar errors please tell me in a pm.
So one nosy neighbor may be part of the problem? Did I fool you or did you spot it a mile away? Hope you enjoyed the chapter and look forward to your feedback for those that are willing to give them. Just be kind if you have a negative point to give. Egos are easily bruised. Thanks for reading.