Phew, I made it! Thank you LostIn PA for being so understanding about my schedule and need to turn around chapters quickly to make a posting deadline. I appreciate it more than you know!

I loved reading all the thoughts last chapter. Thank you for your support. I've said it before, but they really do keep me going.

Chapter Twenty-Four: Quicksand

"What was it about relationships that made you feel so vulnerable? Oh, right. A relationship. In any relationship, you put yourself out there. You exposed all of your sensitive nerve endings and your heart and you just had to hope that you trusted the right person."

Courtney Cole

BPOV

Edward's arms wrap around me, pulling me backward until I can feel the heat of his body. It prevents my shaking body from swaying. "You know me?"

"Yes. We knew each other a very long time ago."

Edward's fingers dig into my skin. "What the fuck is going on?"

Slowly, his head rises to meet Edward's. "Hello, son. I've missed you." I glance up, stunned. This is Edward's father?

Before I can fully process what is happening, Edward maneuvers me out of the way, so that he can punch the man in front of us. As his father crashes to the floor, he continues to advance forward with clenched fists. "Get up, asshole!"

"Whoa," Jasper pulls Edward back. "What is this?"

My thoughts twist, wondering whether his reaction means that Jasper didn't know. How could he not know?

"This is your father?" My voice cracks, a sense of futility breaking through my veil of control. Grabbing Edward's hand, I hope to steady us both.

Standing, the man rubs his chin. "Yes, I'm his father."

Edward fights to break free. "Don't talk to her."

He backs up, trying to show that he's not a threat. "I invited you here because I want to help. I have no other agenda."

"Bullshit," Edward growls. "You always have an agenda."

"Wait, wait." I'm struggling to accept what's in front of me. "We're supposed to be meeting Jasper's contact."

"Doc C., right?"

Edward tenses, his hand tightening around mine. "R-right," I stammer.

He flashes a sad smile. "That's what everyone called me at Langley. My God-given name is Carlisle Cullen." His hand reaches forward, waiting for me to shake it.

"I don't understand." Shaking my head, I maneuver to avoid his reach. "How is this possible?" The significance of the connection makes it hard to breathe.

This is Edward's father.

Edward's father knows me.

The realization hurts. The answer to why the CIA picked Edward for this mission suddenly sinister.

"Yes, how is this possible?" Jasper repeats, still holding onto Edward firmly. "Why in the hell didn't you tell me that you are my partner's father? What kind of game is this?"

"Hey," Carlisle throws up his arms in defense. "You weren't partners when we met, remember."

"You really expect me to believe that makes a difference?" Edward rips his hand from mine pushing against Jasper's grasp. "Nothing you do is ever just a coincidence."

Carlisle's eyes darken. "That might be true, but I swear in this case it was. I didn't even know until recently."

"Really?" Jasper scoffs. "How could you not know?"

The staunch faith in his associate is gone. It gives me something to hold onto in the midst of this insanity. I desperately want to trust Jasper's intentions. I can't take any more betrayal.

"Because our conversations never included names!" Carlisle's facade wanes, providing a glimpse of his formidable temperament. "When you called to ask for help and explained what happened to 'your friend', I knew right away that it had to be one of Charlie's kids."

The casual term is jarring. "You know Charlie?"

"Yes, very well." He pauses, clearing his throat. "Anyway, after I did some research, it wasn't hard to connect Bella's blown cover, my son's assignment to bring in an important asset, and Jasper's interesting questions."

"Don't call me your son. I haven't been your son in years," Edward interrupts. Although his voice is razor sharp, he is no longer fighting to break free, the desire to attack diminishing.

Jasper cautiously releases his hold, stepping in front to block any sudden moves from either man. "It was that easy?" He questions with disbelief. "You did some 'research' and connected all of that?"

He flashes a smarmy smile. "It helps to know where to look. I may be out of the game, but I still have connections. Don't forget, this was my world."

"How convenient," Edward hisses. "Trust me, don't believe anything that comes out of his mouth. He's a pathological liar."

The coldness of his words disturb Carlisle. "I never wanted to lie to you and your mother. I didn't have a choice."

Edward shifts but doesn't attempt to move past Jasper. "I don't believe you." Each syllable is sharp, emphasizing his doubt.

"And I don't blame you." He exhales a frustrated breath. "I don't know what to say to make you understand. It's hard to explain being caught up in something you can't see your way out of, knowing that you lost control of your own life." His piercing eyes zero in on me. "Maybe you can explain it better."

"Excuse me?"

"If anyone can understand it's you, Bella. You know what I mean."

Even in the warmth of the afternoon sun, my entire body shivers. "Why would I know that?"

Carlisle's pointed look softens, sadness creasing his face. "You really don't remember do you?"

My chest tightens as a familiar ache pulses across my forehead. "Remember what?"

"Me, your past. Why people are so invested in you."

His eyes implore mine. Oh God, he knows. "No," I whisper, terror sickening my stomach. "I don't remember anything."

He shakes his head ruefully. "The bastards figured out how to do it. God Damn it! I hoped the experiment would fail once I left." Reaching out again, he grabs my arm gently. "I'm so, so sorry that they did this to you."

"Get. Your. Hand. Off. Her." Edward looks feral.

"Stop it. You aren't helping anything," Jasper chastises, holding him back once again.

I rip my arm away. "What did they do to me?"

He looks disappointed by my reaction. I don't know why he would expect any different. He may know me, but I don't know him. I don't need his pity. I need answers.

"This isn't a conversation we should have standing in a doorway. Would you like to come in?" He stands back gesturing for us to enter.

Glancing at Edward, I can tell that he is against the idea. I trust his instincts, yet I'm torn. I want the truth. "We need to stash Laurent somewhere," I blurt out deciding to bide time instead of answering. Jasper looks at me strangely trying to follow my logic. Thankfully, he remains quiet. Edward, on the other hand, refuses to break visual contact with his father, oblivious to my rash comment.

"I'm sure he will be fine for a bit longer," Carlisle argues, a hint of expectation underlying his words. He is used to getting his way.

"It's a warm day. We don't want him getting heat stroke," I refute, letting Carlisle know that I don't back down either. "Jasper said you have space to contain people. Where is that?"

I feel the heat of his stare as he analyzes me, deciding whether to challenge my request. For now, he relents. "There are secure rooms in the other two buildings. I'll take you over there."

"How about you give us the keys and we will take care of it ourselves," Jasper counters.

Carlisle smirks, pulling a set of keys out his pocket. "No, I'll take you there to make sure you find the right room."

"We're all pretty smart. I think we can handle it," he pushes back.

"I'm sure," he responds dismissively not catering to Jasper's demands. "Why don't you go get your 'friend' and I'll meet you at the first building." Instead of waiting for a response, he walks past us giving Edward one final forlorn glance.

We turn, watching him stroll down the sidewalk. For a moment, I stand stunned, trying to recover from the unforeseen encounter. "What the fuck was that?"

"A fricking episode of the twilight zone," Jasper quips.

I stare at Carlisle's retreating back. "He knows. He knows what they did to me. Fuck!" I yell throwing up my arms. I really want to hit something.

"Let me go!" Edward shakes off Jasper's now loosened grip.

"You going to be cool?" Jasper asks watching him closely.

"I'm cool," Edward grumbles, capturing my face between his hands. "Are you okay?"

His words throw me. "Am I okay? Are you okay?"

"I've been better," he whispers.

"I can't believe 'Doc C' is your father."

Caressing my face, his hands slide down to grasp my shoulders. "Unfortunately, it's true." Leaning in, he rests his forehead against mine. "Carlisle Cullen is indeed my father."

For a moment, we simply breathe together, attempting to regain some semblance of sanity. Stepping back, I close my eyes and rub my temples. "Just so I'm clear, Jasper's contact is your father and somehow neither of you knew."

Edward reaches out to stop my rubbing, grasping my hands within his own. "My father and I were never close. I haven't even laid eyes on him in a decade. He was always more of a sperm donor than a father."

"Which is probably why you never talked about him," Jasper concludes. "Still, I'm surprised that you never mentioned that he worked for the CIA."

Edward chokes out a humorless laugh. "I didn't know that he worked for the CIA. As far as I knew, he was an in-demand neurosurgeon. I always believed that his time away was due to traveling the globe to work on special cases." My fingers crack against his tightened grasp, his eyes glossing over as he relives the lies.

"I'm sorry." I step closer trying to break the hold of his memories, ignoring the crushing grip.

His eyes finally find mine. "Sorry," he whispers bringing my hand to his lips and releasing it. "I'm pissed. I'm pissed that he lied, but I'm enraged that he had anything to do with Charlie and that sadistic program."

"He's still your father." I may not remember my parents, but I still realize that those are difficult ties to break.

He shakes his head. "I gave up trying to understand him long ago. Believe me, I've made peace with not having a father."

"Jesus." Jasper looks towards the sky exasperated. "Do you think his contact with me was simply a way to keep track of you?"

Edward shakes his head. "I have no clue."

I think back through our various conversations. "Was Carlisle correct that the night you found him drunk was before you knew Edward?"

"Yes. That was ten years ago. Edward and I became partners seven years ago." He pauses. "Shit, the night I found him had to be right around the time he left. Didn't you say that you haven't seen him for a decade?" Jasper looks to Edward for confirmation.

"Yeah. He barely came around before, but that was when he completely disappeared."

"Without any word?" I inquire.

"No. He had the courtesy to send a 'Dear John' note about not being father material. In some respects, it made things easier. I didn't have to wonder anymore whether he would show up."

"Is that so?" Jasper obviously doesn't buy his downplay.

"Yes." Edward glares. "I grieved the fact that he left and then moved on. Simple." He sounds matter of fact, his emotions flat.

The story pains me. How could anyone, especially his father, not love Edward?

"Ten years," Jasper mutters, interrupting my reflections. "Which was three years before you lost your memory." I nod. "Huh. I wonder who they got to replace Carlisle?"

"You think that's what happened? They took the hypnosis experiment to the next level?" Edward asks.

"It fits. Although the next level had to be a huge jump, we were only working with electrodes. Neurosurgery is a whole other ballgame."

"But why take my memory?" I ask. "And why seven years ago?"

"That's the million dollar question, isn't it?" Jasper remarks.

My mind attempts to weave through the gathered bits and pieces of information trying to put together a timeline. Suddenly, another coincidence jolts my consciousness. "Wait, you said that seven years ago is also when you and Edward became partners?" The small light of hope I had for Jasper starts to fade.

Edward's mouth falls open. "That's right." His uncompromising eyes shift to Jasper. "Seem a little coincidental doesn't it?"

Without hesitation, Jasper walks up to him. "Don't. I have nothing to do with this." He steps in closer and lowers his voice. "I would never betray you. Don't let this evil web change what you know to be true. Partners, remember." His hand reaches out.

"Till the end," I mumble under my breath thinking about Tyler. I had a trusted partner once too.

Edward looks down, pausing before finally grabbing his hand. "Partners." His knuckles whiten as he pulls him even closer until they are almost nose-to-nose. "But I'm telling you right now, if you betray me or Bella, I will kill you myself."

Jasper meets his grasp with a tighter one. "If I do, I'll give you the bullet."

They engage in a silent exchange before Edward releases his hand. "Good."

Their understanding doesn't do anything to ease my concerns. I'm tired of doing mental gymnastics, evaluating the truthfulness of every single thing I'm told. There is only one way to know for sure and that's not going to happen standing here.

"We should get Laurent. I want to have a chat with Doc C." Without waiting, I march towards the car, feeling a resolute energy pulsing through my veins. As much as I don't trust him, he is possibly the lynchpin of this whole thing. I need to know everything he does.

Quick footsteps chase me, a warm hand pulling me to a stop. I know that it's Edward without looking, his touch important enough to recognize. "Hey." He turns me around to face him. "Are you sure this is a good idea? I don't trust anything that he says."

"I know, but I believe that he knows what happened to me. I feel it in my blood. There is no way that I can walk away without talking to him."

"And if he won't tell you?"

I smile. "You forget who you are dealing with. I will get the truth out of him one way or another." I'll do whatever it takes, soft heart be damned.

He smiles softly. "I could never forget anything about you, Mira."

I grab his hand and hold it against my pounding chest. I know that this isn't easy for him either. "If you can't be there when we talk I'd understand. You don't need to prove anything to me."

Time stops as he searches my eyes…my soul. Electricity crackles around us until he finally captures my lips. Releasing his hand, I wrap my arms around his waist, pulling him closer as we melt together. Even in the midst of chaos, he makes me feel safe. I don't know what I would do without him.

His kisses inch across my cheek until, his breath ghosts against my ear. "I'm not doing anything for him." He captures my lips again. "Feel that? We can't deny it." Warmth radiates through my body as he nestles into my neck. "I'm not leaving."

I savor his taste and absorb his comfort. Even though this is new, it feels as though he has been mine forever. "I wish we had met earlier," I whisper impulsively, wondering how my life might be different if that were true.

Jasper's clearing throat disrupts us before Edward can react. "I'm sorry, but if we're going to do this we need to get moving."

Ignoring the interruption, Edward responds. "I wish that too." He peers at Jasper, who is standing at a distance trying not to stare. Contemplative, he suddenly barks out a derisive laugh. "Who knows maybe we did."

The sarcastic comment steals my breath. Whether he meant it or not, it's sadly not out the realm of possibility. Wishing him to have been a part of my life is one thing; thinking about someone taking that memory away is something else. The thought makes me crazy. So instead, for now, I refuse to acknowledge it.

Pulling away, I feel the loss immediately. "Jasper's right, we should get going."

"Yeah, we should." With a final kiss, Edward strides past me, reaching the car quickly. Unlocking it, he opens Laurent's door. "Time to go."

Jasper moves in as Edward unlocks the cuff attached to the grab handle. Once Laurent's hand is free, Edward yanks on his upper arm causing him to stumble as he gets out.

Mumbling profanities, Laurent attempts to strike Edward with his free hand, which he dodges easily.

"Simmer down," Jasper hisses, placing him in a hold as Edward reattaches the loose cuff to his waist chain. "Now, walk."

With Edward and Jasper each taking an elbow, I follow the trio as they shamble their way towards one of the smaller houses to the left of the main one. Carlisle is leaning against the door, spinning the key ring around his finger waiting.

"Looks like quite the handful." Standing back, he lets us through.

When Laurent passes Carlisle, his hands pull against the cuffs pointing. Through his muffled cries, I hear the word "doctor".

"Wait," I call out before Jasper and Edward drag him further. "Do you know him?" I ask Carlisle who is looking strangely at Laurent.

"No," he answers immediately. "Should I?"

Laurent catches my eye, before shifting back to Carlisle. He knows something, but there is no way in hell I'm going to ask him about it here. I'll talk to him in private later. "No, just checking given how small the world has become in the last hour."

"Uh huh." He evaluates me carefully. "Follow me."

As Carlisle walks past, Edward raises his eyebrow. I shake my head, indicating that now is not the time. He nods, pushing Laurent forward. "Move."

The building is freezing, the combination of air conditioning and thick concrete walls effectively trapping the chilled air. The front room is empty with grey walls and a stark cement floor. It's dreary and depressing, which equates to a perfect prison.

"So, Carlisle, what exactly do you use this lovely little building for?" I ask suspiciously.

He glances back while still moving. "Unique isn't it. The previous owner had it built this way. Not sure why. Given my history, I decided it would be handy to have a place to store anyone who came looking for trouble."

"And how often does that happen?" Jasper inquires.

"I've been lucky," he says. "No one has found me here."

The word "here" stands out to my investigative mind. It makes me wonder whether the qualifier was intentional.

Reaching the end of the hall, he opens one of two doors on the right. The room is small with a narrow cot. On it lays a thin navy blue blanket. In the corner is a stainless steel toilet and sink, similar to those you would find in a jail.

Unique my ass, whoever designed this place knew exactly what they were doing.

Laurent struggles to break free once he sees the accommodations. It's a far cry from what he is accustomed to, no fancy sheets, and expensive bourbon here. Dragging him over the threshold, Jasper and Edward release him from the waist chain, but keep his wrists cuffed to maintain control.

As soon as they take off the gag, he starts yelling. "You can't do this to me!"

"I think we already did, Larry," I ridicule. The nickname was impulsive, although an accurate insult if his reddening face is any indication.

"You have no clue what you are in the middle of or who you are trusting." His eyes shift to Carlisle, before focusing on me. "You need me, Bella. My offer still stands."

Carlisle's head snaps in my direction. I need to end this. Laurent's information is only valuable if no one else knows about it. "Come on. The longer he has an audience the crazier he will become. We have more important things to attend to than him."

"On it," Edward says, acknowledging my underlying request. Releasing one hand, he shoves Laurent backward until he falls awkwardly on the cot. Taking the unused cuff, Edward attaches it to the metal post of the bed.

"Hey!" Laurent protests.

Edward pats his cheek. "Sorry. Don't want you getting into any mischief while we are gone, do we?"

"It's been a long trip, why don't you take this opportunity to take a nap," I suggest.

"Fuck you!" He spits in return.

"Suit yourself." I shrug. "Come on let's go."

Ignoring his continued ranting, we turn to leave, Edward slamming the door behind him. Carlisle quickly moves to lock it as soon as it shuts. Edward stands taut, refusing to acknowledge the man standing next to him. Although he claims to be over his father's absence, his behavior is proving otherwise.

"He seems like an interesting character. What was his name again?" Carlisle questions nonchalantly, leading us back towards the front door.

"None of your concern." My tone leaves no room for argument. He has another thing coming if he thinks I'm going to play my hand.

Stopping with his hand on the door, he turns. "Being that he is here, I would say that it is my concern."

"I believe you invited us here knowing our needs, I don't remember there being any conditions to that request," Jasper retorts.

"If that's an issue we'll just leave. I'm not going to negotiate with you," Edward growls.

"No! Don't leave." Carlisle looks stricken at the thought. No matter what his choices were before, the threat of Edward leaving obviously affects him. Internally, I smile. Those feelings will be easy to use to our advantage. "I'm sorry, old habits die hard. As I said, I just want to help."

"Good." I gesture towards the knob. "Shall we then?"

Opening the door, we follow him into the warmth outside. It feels good against my chilled skin, my summer wardrobe no match for the freezing building. Trailing behind everyone else, Edward takes the opportunity to grab my hand, both of us gathering strength for what's next.

The inside of the main house is an utter contrast to the other building. The walls are bright white and covered in framed multi-hued pieces. Glancing at the names, I can tell that Carlisle has a penchant for modern art. The living room is expansive, covering most of the first floor. There is an overstuffed rust couch against the wall in the back, a large block table in front of it. Comfortable burnt orange chairs are on the opposite side of the table creating an area for intimate conversations. The vivid tones of the furniture highlight the vibrancy of the paintings on the walls. The total effect reminds me of something out of a decorating magazine. It's a perfect room for entertaining. Ironic considering that this is a man in hiding.

"Please have a seat," Carlisle requests. Jasper, Edward, and I walk over to the couch, sitting stiffly with our hands folded. "Can I get you anything to drink?"

"No," I answer for all of us.

"Are you sure? How about some coffee? I roast the beans myself. It's become a hobby of mine. I make a good cup if I do say so myself."

I watch as the nervous fool once again replaces the powerful man. It's intriguing to watch, the dichotomy of a someone who is used to being in control, but now has nothing.

"We're sure," I assert. Edward's leg twitches besides me, annoyed by anything Carlisle does.

Sighing, he sits in the chair in front of us. "I'm trying to figure out the best place to begin."

"How do you know Charlie?" I start not intending to waste any time.

His eyes meet mine, resigned to answering my unyielding question. "We met at a medical conference. He came looking for recruits."

"When was this?" Edward inquires, trying to put his own timeline together.

"Almost thirty years ago." Carlisle drops his head. "I was…am a neurosurgeon. I promise that wasn't a lie. You were around the age of five when Charlie approached me. I started as just a consultant, but when he asked me to get involved with experimental projects, it became consuming. I wanted to make sure things were done correctly."

"If you had nothing to be ashamed of, why not just be honest with your family?" Edward prods.

Carlisle looks up sadly. "You should know the answer to that, Edward. You make a choice when you work with the CIA. In beginning, the secret society aspect is exciting until you realize how much you're giving up. My contract included a nondisclosure agreement. I wasn't allowed to talk about the fact that I worked for them, and in return, my name was never a part of any official reports."

"That doesn't let you off the hook. A true father would have considered the impact to his family before making that decision," Edward snarls. Reaching over, I lightly tap his leg, reminding him to stay calm.

Carlisle catches the gesture, eyeing us curiously. Fortunately, he chooses to let it pass. "I never intended to get as involved as I did, and by the time I was, it was too late."

Listening to his story triggers a memory of another conversation.

"How long have you been with the CIA?"

"Umm, about twelve years." Edward angles his body towards me. "How long have you been an asset for the CIA?"

"A long time. What made you want to become an agent?"

"After college, I joined the police academy in Seattle. Apparently, the CIA saw something in my test scores. Their offer was too exciting to turn down."

"Who recruited him?" I struggle to contain my anger.

"What?" Carlisle looks scared. Edward looks shocked.

"Don't play dumb. I doubt it is a coincidence that the CIA recruited your son. My guess is your drunken indiscretion derived from years of challenging what they were doing. If the powers that be were worried about you exposing them, chances are something was done to stop it."

"Fuck," Jasper hisses. "Like hire your son."

"So I'm asking you again. Who recruited him to keep you in line?"

He falls against the chair defeated. "I'm not sure," he whispers. "Our relationship was already bad, so I didn't find he joined until it was too late." He tries to catch Edward's eye. "I thought about going to see you, to try and convince you to quit, but I knew you'd never listen to me. If anything, you would have stayed just to spite me. They had you and I knew it. They could mess with any assignment and wash it away as part of the job."

Jasper leans forward trying to understand. "They could do anything they wanted anyway. Why bring him into the CIA?"

"I wondered that myself, just part of the game I guess. Regardless, it had the effect they wanted and quickly got me straight during a time when I wanted nothing more than to sabotage their project."

"The hypnosis project," Jasper theorizes.

"Yes." His hands run through his hair anxiously. "It was wrong what they were trying to accomplish."

Edward remains quiet, most likely trying to process what all of this means. God knows I understand what it feels like to have the rug pulled out from under you. The best thing I can do for him is to try to get as much information I can. If he's like me, only then will he be able to start to deal with the fallout.

"Who did you suspect?" I question, a part of me terrified of who he will name.

"An agent named Michael Newton," he says. "He's the only one that made sense."

I'm inexplicitly relieved that he didn't name Charlie. Even with all the betrayal, I still somehow feel attached to him. "Of course it was. We know his special projects well." I catch Edward's eye, Embry's face flashing in my mind.

"Why leave then?" Jasper challenges. "Edward was still in the CIA. What changed over that weekend after I found you that made you feel like you could run?"

Carlisle takes another breath. "I unexpectedly found an ally. Someone just as disturbed by events as I was, yet unlike me, intended to stay."

"And this person magically came to you out of nowhere?" I insinuate sarcastically.

He balks. "Hardly. He caught my episode on surveillance and called to confront me about it."

"Jesus," Jasper hisses. "I thought they didn't have surveillance in that part of the building."

"Don't be naive," he scoffs. "There is surveillance everywhere. The question is who has access to it."

"Still how does a call to confront you end up in a plan for you to leave?" I demand, keeping an eye on Edward.

"We talked about the possibility of leaving. He suggested that if I disappeared, with no repercussions to the program, they might leave Edward alone."

"That seems like a risky choice to make with your son's life," Jasper sneers.

Anger flares in Carlisle's eyes. "I wasn't going to do it, but then he promised to keep Edward safe. He was the only person I knew who actually had the clout to do it."

I snort, shaking my head incredulously. "Charlie. You're talking about Charlie."

"Yes."

Energy pulses through me, making it difficult to sit still. "You made a deal with Charlie to save Edward. Jesus, just how interconnected is this whole mess?"

"That's why he sent me," Edward whispers, finally breaking his silence.

"What?" I ask stopping short.

"We've suspected that Charlie sent me, but we didn't really know why. This is why, isn't it?" He looks to Carlisle.

"Yes," Carlisle confirms. "At least, I suspect as much."

"To bring her back? So that I could repay some twisted debt between the two of you." He jumps up. "Well screw the both of you! It's not going down that way."

"No, Edward, you don't understand," Carlisle says lowly, trying to calm him.

"Then explain it to me." He steps forward, but I place my hand on his arm to hold him back.

Carlisle once again eyes the gesture thoughtfully. "Charlie and I didn't agree on much, but we did agree on not harming the people involved in the program."

"What does that have to do with anything?" I ask.

Locking onto me, he leans forward. "He cared about those kids, especially you. He truly does love you." With a strangled expression, he switches his attention to Edward. "You're a good man. You have always been. Charlie needed someone who would protect Bella with their life, and not sell her out as so many others would."

Edward sucks in a breath.

"Don't you get it, son? He chose you to save her."

Up next we learn why Bella needs to be saved. ;)