I guess I'm on a bit of a roll. Hope you all enjoy this chapter. Review if you'd like. Thank you for reading :)

Chapter 25- Force To Be Reckoned With

"I may or may not have kissed your brother."

I look up from my mug of tea and raise an eye brow at Lily. "You either did or you didn't Petal."

"Okay, I did."

I take a sip from my tea trying to hide my smirk. "Okay." I say placing it back it my lap.

"Okay?" She asks in surprise. "Okay?!" This time she looked more than shocked she looked frustrated. Her hands tugged on the back of her pony tail. I know that if her hair was down she would running her hands through it.

Just like James. I thought to myself with a smile.

"How can you just sit there and say okay?" She asks. She sits down on her bed across from mine.

"Well what do you want me to say?"

"Well you could ask me what happened?" Lily says as if it's the most obvious thing in the world.

"Okay." I say placing my tea down. "What happened?"

"It was as the christmas party. James and I were speaking. He was there when I sort of kept Regulus hostage in our house and-"

"Hold up a minute!" I exclaim. "You what?"

She blushes red. "Merlin, I forgot we didn't really talk much after you came home. What with your mum and all." She takes a deep breath and tells me everything that happened once she had started to look for me in the forest. She told me what it was like being injured and that she had been training Rem and then she told me about Regulus and about how she let him escape.

"You really weren't messing around, were you?" I ask in horror.

She shrugs as if it's nothing. "I had to find you."

I nod my head and my heart swells in my chest for my best friend. She really was my best friend wasn't she?

"Okay so James was mad-" I prompt.

"Oh right!" She says nodding her head. "He wouldn't speak to me and I kept trying so I went to the party with Sirius and Remus and James decides then he wants to pick a fight and people started to stare so I took him outside the ball room. And then he told me I looked beautiful or nice or something to that extent. And then he started saying-well I think he was trying to tell me he figured out what it is that we do and then the death eaters came and someone screamed my name. I told him to stay put and then I just kissed him and ran away."

"You ran away?"

"Well it was a middle of a battle Katarina what exactly should I have done, shagged him in your family's closet?"

I cringe. "And you haven't talked it about? Not at all?"

She shook her head. "You're together every day."

"I know." She says looking defeated.

"Lily, do you like my brother?"

She looks shocked. "Of course I do."

"No, I mean do you like my brother."

She bites her lip. "Before than I never really thought about it. Honestly, I didn't. He was just someone who was a constant, he was always there helping me to walk again, and he just- I love him."

"Okay." I say to her then, picking up my tea and taking a sip.

"Okay." She says, almost sounding like she's decided something.

She lays back on her bed and closes her eyes.

"Okay." She repeats, quietly almost to herself. "Okay."

XX

"Lily just told me what happened." I say in the dark.

He steps forward and his face looks tired.

"Regulus, she told me that she-"

"Held me hostage?" He says stepping closer to me. "Yeah she did."

"And?"

"And what?" He asks. "I was knocked out for most of it. Bloody girl gave me a concussion knocked me into a tree."

I smile then.

"That's not funny."

"It is though." I tell him seriously. I take a deep breath and stare into his eyes,

They weren't grey like Sirius'. Well I mean they were grey, but Sirius' were liquid like silver bright and alive. Regulus' were dull, lifeless. He wasn't happy. Then again, right now, I wasn't either.

"We can't be friends anymore."

"Kat, please." He took a step forward to reach out and grab my arm, I stepped back.

"I can't do this anymore. I saw the things that you've done. I know what you're going to do. And you don't even seem bothered by it." I shake my head. "I know you know it was me that killed that little boy. And I want you to know that I am absolutely gutted. I have nightmares every night and scream into the dark. I see his face every where I go. I was a coward. But I can't take back what I did. I should have died rather than kill him. And I know what choice I would make if I had to do it all over again. But I realized something. This is your choice. Mine was between life and death. And every time, every time you do something horrible yours never is."

He takes a step back, his grey eyes finally showing emotion. They were shining, as if he was trying not to cry.

I know I was. My eyes were burning and I was blinking furiously not to let them fall. Not yet.

"You're right." He tells me. "I will never be able to hurt you. Just because we are on different sides if I see you out there I can't- I won't- I love you." A tear slips down his cheek.

One of mine follows quickly. "I love you too, but you will Reg. And that's okay. If you're ordered to do it, you'll kill me."

He says nothing.

"And I'll kill you too." I tell him honestly. "We're on different sides and If I see you hurt one of my mates, it will all be over. Do you understand?"

He nods his head.

I take a step back and turn to walk in the other direction.

"Kat wait!" He yells.

I don't turn around but I do stop.

"You were the greatest part of my life. I want you to know that."

Tears pour from my eyes and then I'm running, blindly through the halls.

I have to get away, I have to get away.

I sprint into the common room. It was empty, save for Sirius who was sitting on the couch in front of the fire.

"I waited up for you-" He starts but then stops at the sound of my sobs. "Kitty, what's wrong?"

He stands up and walks forward and I collapse into his arm. I sob into his shirt crying for what felt like ever.

"Why?" I sob. "Why?"

Sirius who has no idea what I'm talking about doesn't answer he just holds me tight, and rubs a hand through my hair.

"Kitty, what happened?" He leads me over to the fire and places me down on the floor. He follows and hugs me to his side.

"I told him I couldn't be friends with him anymore." I cry.

"Who?"

"Reg-" I found I couldn't say his name. "Your brother."

He squeezes me tightly. "Oh Kat, are you sure?"

I was surprised, I knew he always hated our friendship. I voiced my thoughts to him.

"It's just I rarely see you like this, you must be hurting so bad. Are you sure it's what you want?"

"No." I tell him honestly. "But it's what I have to do."

He just holds me tighter.

XX

"What is wrong with you lately?" I try and whip my head around to stare at James, but he just tugs tightly at the piece of hair he was braiding.

I turn and face forward and frown. "Are you joking?"

"I get it mate." He tells me running his fingers quickly through my hair. "Mum died. It was horrible and I dream about it most nights but I've seen you grieve your parents before. I know what this looks like and this isn't it."

"James-"

"You've told everyone else-"

"Save for Peter." I interrupt without mean to.

I could almost feel his smirk from behind me.

"Alright save for Peter. What are you afraid to tell me."

I open my mouth but before I can speak he cuts across me.

"I know that when Mum first died things were rocky between us. It's been a month now you know. It's January 25th-"

"She died Christmas night, how could I forget. I know the date of Christmas, James."

"Kitty, please. He puts the hair tie around my braid and spins me to face him. "You're my sister and I love you. Nothing with change that."

I take a deep breath. "I know who you are in here." I place my hand on his heart. "You're brave and courageous-"

"Kat you are to-"

"I did something cowardly."

He grabbed my hand off of his chest and held it tightly.

"I killed-"

"Two people. I know, I saw one of them and Lily told me about the other-"

I squeeze his hands. "James, no." A tear trails down my cheek. "I killed an innocent. I killed a little boy." More tears fall down my face.

He took a deep breath and dropped my hands.

I used this opportunity to pull up the sleeve on my left arm. The dark mark stared at us, slithering back and forth.

"Katarina."

"I don't know if Lily's told you, I don't know if you know why I was at the ball-"

"She didn't. She doesn't tell me everything you know." And for the most part he looked disappointed.

"I took polyjuice potion the whole time I was away. I found a pureblood wizard who had no one. No family, no friends. She was in hiding she was scared. I cut her hair and took it for myself and I wiped her memories and let her think it was her life long dream to move to America. She made a port key that very day. I like to think that eventually I'll find her and give her, her memories back. But I don't know if I'll live to get the chance. I think she'll be happier there anyway-" I trail off and shake my head.

James stares at me like he doesn't know what to think.

"Anyway, I took her identity, lived in her unplottable house and I joined the death eaters."

"You've seen-"

I nod my head. "Voldemort- he was- he is-" I didn't even have a word for it. "There was an initiation of sorts. And we went to this muggle neighborhood and we had to torture and kill muggles. We went to this house and it was filled with children and they were killed one by one and the little boy fell and I stupidly reached for him to help him, not thinking about where I was. And I didn't have a way around it. They thought I had chosen him to kill. And I didn't know what to do. He just stared at me, he wasn't crying and I- If I didn't do it I would have died." I shake my head and bury my hands in my head. "Dammit! I should have died! I shouldn't have killed him. I should have-"

I felt arms wrap around me and squeeze me tightly. "I'm glad you chose your own life." He whispered as if he would become a bad person for just saying it. For choosing the death of a little boy over his sister.

"I couldn't have handled you-"

"I won't be cowardly like that ever again-"

"I know."

I pull back from him and stare into his face. "Ever!"

He pulls me back towards him. "Okay mate, okay."

A door slams open.

"Kat what the hell did you- Oh"

James and I pull apart and stare at Lily and Marlene McKinnon.

Marlene was laughing and Lily was frowning. "Sorry to interrupt but what exactly in the hell did you do?"

I wipe my tears. "You know the spell Lily, why didn't you just rid her of it."

She blew out a breath and her face turned red. "I wanted to-"

"Be dramatic?" I put in with a smile.

LIly pinches the bridge of her nose. "Merlin, Katarina you are testing my patience."

"Who are they?" Marlene asks pointing at me and James. "Oh never mind I know you, you're the mean girl with that black hair that yelled at me to think when I told her no."

I snort slightly and even Lily's lips twitch.

"Wait I remember this-" James starts looking at all of us. "You did this to Lily before."

I nod my head and sigh. I pull my wand out but before I can do anything. Lily places her own wand in the middle of Marlene's eyes.

I watch as her eyes grow from shock to understanding. "Lily?" She notices me on the bed. "I didn't do it."

I shake my head. "Lily found you before you could try."

"I need to speak to Katarina." Lily says sharply looking at Marlene. Her point was made, Marlene nodded quickly and turned to leave.

"I'll see you shortly Marley!" I call after her.

"Marley?!"

"Jealous Lily?" I ask standing up.

"No, what in the hell are you doing to her?" She yells.

"And Mary." I add.

"Katarina-"

"No different than what you are doing with James and Remus!" I yell back.

She looks shocked. "Who told you? James?" She asks rounding on him.

He holds his hands up.

"Sirius, actually."

Lily looks puzzled. "Sirius?"

"He spied on James and Remus with the map when they were gone for too long. He figured out that that was why James was downstairs when Mary cursed him."

She sighs. "Shoulda expceted that."

I nod and sit down.

"You're not mad?" She asks.

I shake my head. "I know why you didn't tell me. You know I wanted them protected but I realized something after poor Mary was forced to torture James. No one will ever be safe. We are all in this war whether we like it or not. And they need to be ready." I hold James' hand. "I can't protect them. So we need to help them."

She looks at James. "I've been trying to teach them-well James anyway." I nod. "Rem has already had a headstart."

"Sirius knows a lot, but I'm not sure how much he chose to forget." I add.

"So what, you're just going to teach us all?" James asks looking back and forth between us.

"I promised Mary I would teach her everything I know so that she wouldn't have to live through that ever again and I meant it." I explain.

"So the eight of us against the Death Eaters in Hogwarts?" Lily asks looking at me with a grim expression.

I smile widely. "Well they better watch out because all of us are a force to be reckoned with."