Here's the next chapter, all mistakes are my own and all characters belong to Shonda and ABC
Callie POV
It's been a month since the day I almost lost my wife and gained my son, I will never forget that day for so many reasons. They both had to stay in hospital for a week but both have made a full recovery and I got to take them both home, Life's pretty sweet right now.
Arizona POV
It's been two weeks since I've been home and I feel like I'm drowning, I love my son with everything I have but I feel like I'm not cut out to be a mom, but I can't tell Callie, this is all she's ever wanted, the wife, the baby, the white-picket fence house, the whole nine yards, and it was my dream at one point but right now it's the last place I want to be
''Arizona I have to pop into the station, I'll be about half an hour, you gonna be okay?''
''uh.. yeah'' no
''Okay I love you, the both of you'' she says as she places a kiss on my lips and then kissed Riley's head as he fussed in his Moses basket.
I hear the door close and I feel the panic rise in my chest you can do this, pull yourself together! I hear Riley start to whimper in his basket so I look over and see he is ready to cry I lift him out the basket and the flood gates open for him and he lets out a scream I lift my top up to give him a feed, we decided to go with breastfeeding for the obvious health benefits it provided but Riley doesn't seem to want to latch on today and I feel my frustrations rise
''C'mon Riley, please!'' I plead with my screaming son ''God why wont you latch!'' it's only been ten minutes since Callie left and i already want to just leave, I decided to try one more but once again he isn't having it
''what do you want Riles?'' I say with tears welling up in my eyes, but he continues to cry so I decide to walk around the living room with him but his cries dont cease, I cant do it, i cant do it, get up run get out right? I place Riley in the basket and walk into the bedroom and close the doors, I still hear his cries it's the only thing you can hear in the apartment
I place my head in between my knees and try to calm ny breathing but it doesn't help, I hear the apartment door open and I immediately feel bad because of leaving my son cry to himself god what kind of mother am i?
''Ari? Where are you?'' I hear her call as I hear Riley's cries come to a stop, I don't know how Callie does it she seems to be able to calm him with easy, I hear the bedroom door open and look up to see my wife holding my son in her arms
''Hey, what happened baby?'' she asks full of concern
''h-he wouldn't s-s-stop crying Callie! I tried feeding him b-but he wouldn't latch and I c-couldn't take his crying Callie, I cant do it!''
I see her Place the baby in the middle of the bed placing pillows either side and then comes to sit next to me and places her arms around me, I rest my head on her shoulder
''I get it, It's overwhelming at times, but do you think you could have postnatal depression?''
''Fuck you Callie! how can you say that, I'm a doctor I think I'd recognise the signs, your just a firefighter and now you think you can fucking diagnose me? I'm not broken. I'm not some psycho trauma. my mini-breakdown is not some pathology that you can pat yourself on the back for having diagnosed''
''But it's not just today is it? I've seen the way you are with him, how you try to hide your struggle from me but it doesn't work, you used to be happy, perky even you woke up happy and now you don't want to do anything, your not sleeping, your fighting with yourself all the time, I see it in your eyes Arizona, you don't sleep much, I researched PND because I knew you'd react like this so i wanted to be one hundred percent sure, and i think I am I came in today to my son screaming in the basket and his momma nowhere to be seen, you can't just leave him like that! I won't allow you to do that to him again''
I'm sat there shocked beyond words because I had thought about PND I was just too proud to admit it which is shitty of me
''So what are you saying Callie?''
''I want you to get help, i can't let you be around Riley like this I'm scared of what you're going to do, so get help or I take Riley and leave until you do''
that's it for this chapter, read and review please :)