I apologise now for a more than average amount of cursing in this chapter.

Disclaimer: I so do not own Twilight.

Edward Pov

I felt ridiculous, utterly ridiculous, but I had promised.

So I posted those ridiculous luminous yellow and green post-its, and even the pink ones Bella had picked up for me.

Stuck to every flat surface available in my bedroom, those irritating little post-its hung.

Always do what you are afraid to do.

The best way out, is always through.

Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we do fall.

I was going to kill Bella.

You can because you think you can.

Healing takes courage, and we all have courage, even if we have to dig a little to find it.

Humour is healing.

Slow, painful torture.

To heal from the inside out is the key.

Only you can heal you.

She was so dead.

And the other things she had me doing, like talking to myself in the mirror and writing in a journal, a fucking journal.

What really irked me was how that girl had me wrapped around her little finger.

But it was nothing compared to her room, I didn't think Bella could be so damn colourful. I hadn't thought she would take it quite so seriously when we promised to get help, to get better.

I wished I could go back, to before I made that stupid fucking promise, to before I had luminous post-its adorning every inch of my room.

To before I had to go to that ugly fucking grey building and talk to that woman. To before the time when I was suddenly required to spill all my secrets to some unknown patronizing stranger who thought they had a degree from some unnamed college that they were qualified to cure me.

But I couldn't go back, I couldn't even wish myself back because when I did I would see those scars on Bella and remember just how much she really needed to heal. And I didn't think Bella could do it without the knowledge that I was following her every step.

--------D--B-------

Monday evening I sat in a stuffy waiting room holding my mother's hand and scraping the heel of my right trainer against the lino floor.

Carlisle's eyes flickered across my face nervously, searching for signs of anxiety. His arm was draped across the back of my stiff chair, the kind we had in school. The pose was comfortable, but it was clear he had no idea what to do with himself, like he wanted to comfort me but didn't know how of if he should.

And I kinda wanted to let him, cause Bella had told me I needed to spend more time with Carlisle, but holding your father's hand when you're seventeen and not crossing the road was just weird.

Alice was flicking nonchalantly through some hair-style magazine and clucking her tongue every now and again when she saw something she clearly did not approve of. Rosalie sat beside her, picking disinterestedly at the underside of her long manicured nails, occasionally glancing at Alice's magazine.

Emmett and Jasper sat in the far corner, grinning stupidly and played slaps, trying to be quiet so Mom wouldn't catch them. But the resounding thwack of their skin was pretty noticeable, Mom was just ignoring them.

Stupid fucking Dr. Gregory popped her head out her office door and nodded at her receptionist; like she couldn't have just fucking told us to enter herself.

We stood as the receptionist, Moira I think, ushered us into the office, I figured she had better earn her money somehow, maybe by at least pretending to do her job.

Dr. Gregory's office was a dreary place, very impersonal and cold. Which was to be expected. I had asked her once, because what the fuck else was I going to talk about in therapy, she said that home was the safe place, you're not supposed to get attached to a therapy office.

Mom squeezed my hand and I vaguely squeezed back, smiling grimly. I sat on the cliché chaise long with Mom and Dad, Alice and Jasper sat on the loveseat and Emmett pulled Rose down onto his lap on the beanbag meant for children.

Dr. Gregory droned on about my treatment plan and the ground we've covered so far, which was basically zero. Mom and Dad listened attentively, throwing in a question here or there, but for the most part it was quiet.

Until Dr. Gregory decided silence wasn't good enough and started saying shit about how she wanted us to come here every week as a family and talk about my issues, and how they affected us as a unit.

I missed Bella, she would've giggled stupidly with me over the ridiculous things coming out of this woman's mouth.

And not only did she decide to betray my old friend; silence she decided she wanted to start talking about my issues today.

"I was thinking", she began "that maybe you could all tell me how you feel about how Edward was before he started communicating again, and how it affected you", she smiled like she was proud of herself, for saying words, breaking my fucking silence yet again.

I had a feeling this woman had a calling to teach or something, cause she made us put our hands up when we had something to say, not that I did, but it was tiring just to watch the others do it.

There was a resounding silence for a moment, in which they all hesitated until Doc eventually volunteered Emmett to speak.

And I came so close to groaning, cause no one could break the silence quite like Emmett fucking Cullen.

"Well", he started nervously, rubbing his palms across the flat of Rose's abdomen to stave off his nerves "I guess… it was kinda…. Hurtful", he attempted, his head swinging around to look apologetically at me.

Doc leaned towards Emmett, her librarian glasses slipping down her nose ever so slightly to complete the look, as if what he said was really fucking interesting or something "In what way did it hurt you Emmett?"

Emmett studiously avoided looking at me, twisting a lock of Rosalie's hair around his fingers as he answered "Well it was kinda like getting the cold shoulder, right?" he muttered "like we, his family, weren't enough".

Dr. Gregory nodded in sympathy and turned to face us properly "Did anyone else feel this way?" she asked expectantly. I was slightly peeved that everyone raised their hand, mostly for obeying that dumb ass rule.

"Edward," she said hopefully "do you have anything you would like to say?" I stared at her blankly and she nodded, irritated, before moving on.

"I have something I want to talk about," Rosalie cut in, her tone biting "Bella".

Doc nodded along, like she had any idea who she was talking about and spewed some shit about how the rest of the family felt about Bella.

Like she was anyone else's business, like they knew her. They had no right to talk about Bella, none.

My fists were balled and my jaw locked until I was spun from my reverie by Alice turning to me and saying in an uncharacteristically muted voice "Why?" she was close to tears and furiously wiped them away with her sleeve "Why can you talk to her and not to us, your own family?"

"What makes her so different?"

Review Please, sorry it took so long to get this out, my art exam was this week. It went well by the way.