She never wanted morning to come. She knew in the morning that she would have to face the consequences, she would have to think about what had happened and most of all she would have to face Logan.
Morning came though, the sun flowed through Rory's bedroom window. The bustle of the Yale campus was busy outside her window. A few moments after last night's event the two had managed to collapse onto Rory's bed without a word, still naked and both feel asleep. It wasn't an uncomfortable silence Rory remembered, it was a silence that they both knew would have to be broken in the morning.
Now here it was morning. The first thought that came to Rory's head when she woke up on this beautiful morning was 'I did it, I slept with Logan Huntzberger.' She didn't know how she should react to this comment. She knew one thing though, she was terrified. There was no going back now. The bridge had been burned. She was now on the road that so many women had been on before her. The only problem was she had no idea where the road lead.
She was one of the many. Although she didn't know if that was what Logan would consider her, it was still the truth. She had done what so many had done before her. She didn't regret it, she knew at the time that was exactly what she had wanted. She had practically begged him for it, but now she had to figure out what to do.
Then she realized her mom was right. She wasn't the type of girl that would just sleep with a guy with no strings. She knew she couldn't just have sex with someone and then let them walk away, back to their own life. She needed more then that, she was better then that. The sinking feeling in her stomach told her it was the truth. It told her that she knew what she had to do. She had to tell Logan.
Logan laid next to Rory his eyes still closed and on the outside he appeared to still be peacefully asleep but on the inside his mind was going crazy. He knew the second he could think coherently what had happened. He had bedded Rory Gilmore. Not in a way that he bedded most girls, he had taken his time with this one, he had actually cared about what she was feeling and thinking. Sure he had always wanted to sleep with her but the point of him hanging out with her wasn't strictly to go to bed with her. She was different, which lead him to a totally different situation, a situation he had never been in. 'What now?' He thought. He knew he had to face the facts, he couldn't run away from this one. He knew they would now have to have the talk. The talk that he had been avoiding for weeks. The talk he knew he would have to have with her the second he realized that he felt something for her.
That still didn't help him with what to say though. He honestly had no idea what to say. Hell he was freaking out about sleeping with her, how could he handle any more? What was he going to do? He didn't do relationships, he couldn't do them. It wasn't that he didn't like spending time with Rory, in fact he loved it.
'What's so scary about the title?' Steph's words came back to haunt him. She couldn't understand though. It was about more than the title. It was about restricting his freedom. The freedom that he fought so hard to have. He knew in a few years, maybe even less than that, he would have to be tied down to a girl. Not this soon, it wasn't supposed to happen like this. He wasn't supposed to be blowing off girls like he had been doing the past few weeks. Since when did he care that he had a line? He didn't want to be tied down to one girl, he didn't want to fit perfectly into the plan his father had made him. He couldn't do it, not by choice. He knew he would eventually be forced into the situation but he couldn't just go waltzing right into it.
He sat up abruptly causing Rory to stir.
Logan looked down at Rory and was surprised to find her eyes meet his. Her gaze showed the same fear and uncertainty that he was sure his did, but he knew what he had to do. The pressure of the situation was too much for him to bear, he wasn't ready for this to be his life, he wasn't ready to be tied down.
Looking at Rory though he started to second guess himself, she was gorgeous, funny, and above all smart. Being tied down to her might not be a bad thing.
"Morning," Rory said, her voice just above a whisper.
Logan forced himself to smile. He knew it was a weak one, but he also knew what was coming.
"So I guess we have to talk about this," Logan said a bit harsher then he intended to.
He saw Rory visibly flinch and he instantly felt bad, she simply nodded though.
The room fell silent again, neither one knew what to say or who should speak first. They simply stared at each other both thinking of the roller coaster ride the two had been through all leading up to this pivoting point. They both knew they had both went past the point of no return.
"I can't do this." Rory said suddenly and then instantly turning pink.
'Gosh she looks adorable when she blushes,' Logan thought but quickly shoved that thought from his mind.
"Do what?" Logan asked gently this time.
"I'm not the type of girl to just sleep with a guy and then be okay with him walking out the door. Last night was one of the most amazing nights of my life but I can't keep sleeping with you unless I know you're all in. I can't sleep with you if there's a chance you're sleeping with someone else. It's just...I'm not that type of girl, I don't sleep around and I don't date multiple people at once. I'm a one guy type of girl, I can't change that." Rory said.
He knew it was coming before the words came out of her mouth, in fact he had known it was coming months ago. It was one of the reasons he had tried to stay away from her. But he didn't realize how much it would hurt until now.
"I know," Logan answered simply.
"And you're not a one girl type of guy are you?" Rory asked forcing herself to maintain eye contact with him.
Logan simply shook his head.
"I can't be, not yet." Logan said softly looking away feeling ashamed. He didn't want to hurt her or himself but he knew in the end he was doing the right thing. He knew he couldn't be with her, it was better to hurt her now because in the end he knew he would end up hurting her eventually.
"Okay," Rory said quietly grabbing the sheet from her bed and wrapping it around her naked body. She looked at Logan who was still laying under her comforter naked.
"I'm going to take a shower since we're done here. When I get out I know you'll be gone so I just wanted to say thank you." Rory said while walking towards the door, she turned around in the doorway to face a confused Logan.
"For what?" He asked.
"For making me take the leap," Rory said and then quickly turned around and walked straight into the bathroom closing the door behind her.
'For making me take the leap'
Her words rang through his head as he heard the bathroom door close. She had taken the leap and she knew damn well that he wouldn't. Her statement both touched him and stabbed a knife into his heart. He was taking the easy way out and he knew it, he wasn't taking a risk when he had forced her to.
He stood up and quickly put his clothes from the night before back on. It wasn't supposed to hurt this bad. He had done the right thing. He had saved her in the end, saved her from his horrible lifestyle, saved her from the pain he would eventually cause. She deserved someone better then him, someone who wouldn't hurt her, someone who would be able to be the perfect boyfriend she deserved. He wished he could be that guy for her, but he knew that he couldn't.
He walked briskly out of her dorm past the place where they had crossed the line the night before. It would never be the same.
Although it hurt worse then he had ever imagined he knew he had done her a favor.
She turned the shower water on and stepped in. Instead of grabbing the soap like she usually did she instantly dropped to the floor of her shower and let the water pour down around her.
Then the dam broke. The tears began to flow uncontrollable down her face. She didn't even bother to wipe them away as they began to mesh with the water from the shower. She cursed herself for having the tiniest hope that he would change for her. She cursed herself for feeling something for him and she cursed herself for crying the morning after like she knew so many other girls had done.
She didn't whimper, yell or scream, she just let the tears flow down her face. It was over.
A few minutes later she exited the shower and wrapped a towel around herself. She left the bathroom and walked into her room and it was just like she had expected.
He was gone.
The end, JUST KIDDING. Sorry it took so long to update!! I know this chapter is short too but I wanted to make sure I got the aftermath out. I'm getting ready to student teach this fall so I'm going to try to update a few more times before I start. Let me know what you all thought of the chapter!! Thanks for your patience, I appreciate you guys sticking with my story!! More to come SOON!!