What If?

Making The Call

Chapter 25

Musings

Disclaimer: And here we are with the 25th chapter of this here story! Woo-hoo! As always, I own nothing but the idea you see within this story. From my understanding of things, lyrics aren't allowed on here so I won't be including those here. I might when I get around to adding this on AO3. Unless they have a rule about that too. Now... Let's roll on!

The day I arrived on Lian Yu is the day Playboy Ollie Queen died and in his place was born a new man. A new man that was skilled, determined, and actually gave more of a damn about people and things then his previous self ever did. And now, just about 2 and a half years later I am back amongst family. Or was until dear ol' mom locked me up in this psychiatric ward anyways...

The days and nights for Oliver Queen had pretty much all blurred together for him since after he had awakened in this place he'd been forced to stay in in order to get help with his issues. And while he couldn't hate his mom for doing it, he still had quite a lot of anger in him towards her for putting him in here instead of trusting him to handle it on his own. But he did have to admit, being here was helping him out immensely. Hell, he was even learning to write left handed since he couldn't make use of his right hand just yet. He'd even finally gotten used to the meds he had to take and didn't feel as useless anymore by them. Which was pretty nice.

He was even allowed to keep a journal and a pen in his room to keep him occupied. The journal allowed him to write down a lot of things and in its own way, was also helping him work out issues he had and still wasn't quite ready to talk about with the doctors just yet. The rather brutal and draining conversation he'd had recently about Shado was among those issues he wrote about. He hadn't been able to deal with the emotional fall out after he spoke of what happened. A fall out that led to tears and then pretty much being knocked out due to the raging he was doing as he pretty much blamed himself for her death. This journal was something to be immensely thankful for. To be honest, he had pretty much forgotten he'd mentioned her name to his mom. Naturally she hadn't forgotten at all about it. He also had a feeling that Veller and Anna were telling his mom things too, likely on her orders. Whatever though, if it helps get her off his ass, then he's all for it.

My father was a good man, but one who ultimately also had his own faults. I honestly feel if he and my mother had done more to keep me on a better path, I wouldn't have gone down the road I did. But they didn't, and because of that, Sara is gone and that guilt, along with the guilt of so much else will be with me for a long time to come. This place helps me with that, so its at least a start.

The rattling of keys opening his door stopped him from writing more, which was okay as he was still working out the kinks in using his left hand to write. The door opened to reveal an orderly he'd become a bit familiar with during his time here. The guy was rather easy to get along with too. Which was a whole lot better then being a huge jerk in his view. "Its that time again I suppose?" Oliver asked, as it always seemed like this was always around one of the times when he got to visit the head shrinkers through out certain days.

The man nodded at him. "You bet man, so come on." He gestured grandly towards the hallway, something that made Oliver smile a little at the man's antics.

As he made his way out, he once again considered that he could easily take out the guy. Even with his shoulder being like it is and the effects from the meds that could still leave him feeling not at a 100 percent on occasion. Yeah... With the training I have, I could get out of here if I wanted too. But several things keep me from that. My shouder, the meds, and the fact I'd likely have no where safe to go too. Waller is seriously out for a whole lot of reasons, and no way in Hell would any of the Lances likely consider it. Hell, Sara's father would be just as likely to haul me back here faster than I could blink. I've got no patience for the time being in getting Tommy to understand the seriousness of it all, the Diggles and Grant are out as neither of them need that sort of crap on them to deal with. And I can't possibly ask Shrieve to do it as it'd likely get him in a lot of trouble. Plus, in the long run I'd be screwing myself over anyway if I busted out. And who knows how long I'd be stuck in here if and when they managed to capture me.

Suffice it to say, the Queen Scion had given escaping quite a lot of thought. But in the end would always come to the conclusion that his best bet was just to remain where he was. As after all, why make things potentially worse on himself? Though he was glad his mom hadn't gone further and ordered for his face and head to be shaved. For whatever reason, the growth in those areas were a comfort to him. And he figured he'd see what the docs would say about that particular thing if he managed to get around to it. As no telling what would happen in this session.

As his escort busied himself with the task of getting his charge to where he needed to be. Oliver took in his surroundings as he was prone to do. And one of the things he noticed and felt somewhat annoyed by was that Willie was out and about. Wilie for whatever reason was the kind of guy who reminded him an awful lot of Adam Sandler. Who Oliver had never actually cared for, which was one of the few things he and Tommy had different views on. Tommy found the guy to be outright hilarious, And Oliver just didn't at all. Which had made movie nights somewhat difficult back in the day if it happened to be Tommy choosing the films. Hell Willie even sounded like Adam Sandler much to his annoyance.

This guy is one reason I'll be glad to be out of here. Whenever the Hell that is. At least there's no apples around. Wonder if dear old mom had something to do with that? Hell, knowing her she probably did have something to do with it.

Course she probably could have used that to her advantage and he could have wound up getting into serious trouble in some way after having a rage fit over the damn things. But he was at least grateful she hadn't thought of that and hoped she never would either. "Hey Rich Man!" The sound of Willie's voice made Oliver groan.

Of course he just had to see me! Oliver looked in his direction with a fake smile plastered on his face.

"Can't stop and talk buddy, I got to go get my head shrunk!" Whether or not his enthusiasm was real was known only by him. And even he had a hard time telling if it was legit or not.

"Aww you're no fun!" Oliver could only sigh as he walked on, hoping his escort would walk just a bit faster to get him out of here.

"Yeah, that's me. Mr. No Fun!" Oliver called over his shoulder as he kept on going. As he finally left the area, he heard Willie shout out that he was going to do what it took to get him to lighten up and have some fun. Oliver scoffed and rolled his eyes, though he could hear his escort chuckling.

After several more minutes of walking, the two finally arrived at a familiar looking door. The orderly simply stood near it as he usually did and Oliver just went right on in. One of the first things he noticed is that it was just Anna in the room today, another thing he noticed was music playing. Which was a little unusual considering music never really played in the room. Anna caught saw of him and gave a nod in his direction. "I'll be with you in a few Mr. Queen." And then went back to tidying things up.

Sheesh, looks like a mini war zone in here. Guess things must have went bad recently. Guess that's why she's got music playing. He considered to himself as he sat down on the couch he'd become rather familiar with in his time there.

"Need any help?" Anna looked at him again, and surprise seemed evident in her features too.

"Oh no, I'm fine Mr. Queen. But thank you for offering!" He figured that must have been the last thing she was expecting from him. But given what seemed to have happened before he got there, he supposed he couldn't blame her at the moment.

As he sat there and waited for her to finish, a new song came on the radio and for whatever reason he couldn't figure out at the moment. It was washing over him in a way that was pleasant. As the lyrics continued, he closed his eyes and swayed his head to the music. And for the first time in a good while, he was feeling truly relaxed. He didn't know what it was he was listening too but he definitely intended to find out. Unknown to him however, Anna had finished what she was doing and had been watching the reaction he was having to the song with a smile on her face. The look she saw on his face was unlike anything she'd seen from him so far and felt it was a pity Dr. Veller wasn't here to witness it. But at least he would get to see the recording of it when she showed him and Mrs. Queen it later on.

When the song ended, Oliver let out a breath as he opened his eyes and saw that the other person in the room with him was staring at him with a smile on her face. And he honestly felt a little embarrassed at being caught like that. "Erm... Sorry."

"Oh don't be! Your reaction to that song was honestly amazing in my view. I don't think I've ever seen someone be so captivated like you were by Dobie Gray." She told him pleasantly as she thought of an experiment she could try in a future session with certain kinds of music to see how he'd react.

Dobie Gray? I'll have to definitely remember that name... A new goal he now had in mind was to get himself some of the man's music once he got out. Especially if it had that song included.

"Thank you for telling me that Doc, I appreciate it." His words got him a smile from the woman.

"Anytime Mr. Queen, anytime!" And with that, the two would wind up discussing music like Dobie's and the effects music could have on a person for at least 30 minutes before getting down to more personal and serious things.

The talk as usual would leave him a bit drained, but the song he'd heard still remained with him as he fell asleep later on in his room. The old me would never have appreciated that sort of thing, which is just one more reason why Ollie Queen is no longer and someone new is in his place now. He thought to himself before finally falling asleep for however long it would last.

Author's Notes: I hope everyone will have enjoyed this and apologies on the delay in getting it out! And many thanks to kindleflame5 for her (or his?) help in this portion of the story! I'm not sure if I'll do more with the Willie character, but who knows. Things do change. In case anyone wondering about the song in question he was hearing, it was Drift Away. Which is a fantastic song! And that Fight Club promo is great! Up next, the struggles of Thea as she deals with her brother being locked up. R and R!