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Chapter 100

He is an excellent storyteller, Remus chuckled to himself as he watched James recount some of the great moments from the Quidditch game. Despite the celebration going on around them, or perhaps because of it, James had most of the room's attention. Though he remembered each play that James described, it came to life in a completely different way through the re-telling. Remus was no longer a not-so casual observer, but was right there in the action. He smiled and shook his head at how drawn in he was to the story.

Remus had been listening to stories a lot lately – how things were going with James and Lily, how Peter worked up to asking out his latest girl, Sirius' humorous encounters with several girls, spur-of-the moment hexes on unsuspecting Slytherins, and whatever else was worth telling. He wasn't exactly sure when the change started to take place, but, at one time he was there, in the midst of the action. Then life became busy. Pranking – the kind that took planning – all but stopped, studying became priority; he had long since put his heart in a box and didn't even consider dating. So he started listening. Listening and watching.

As he listened to James's story, he looked around at the faces of the people present. It was only then that he noticed Sirius had returned and was standing quietly near the portrait hole, leaning against the wall. Sirius was watching, too, and he was looking directly at Remus. Sirius nodded slightly, and Remus got up and walked over to his friend.

"Hey," Remus said quietly, so as not to disturb the room's attention. "How did it go?"

Sirius shrugged. "Fine. The family is the same charming group of people. But, it turns out Uncle Alphard had quite a sense of humor."

Remus spocked his eyebrow, waiting for an explanation.

Sirius grinned mischievously. "He left his library and art to Andromeda and everything else, once it's been sold, to me."

Remus stared at Sirius, eyes wide, mouth open a little. "You're joking!"

"No."

Remus shook his head and chuckled. "And they let you walk out of there alive?"

Sirius snorted in response, "Not by choice, I can tell you. I was beginning to think the plan was to kill me, though, when they started talking about everything going to the family cat."

Remus frowned in confusion.

"Nothing. Just a joke."

The two stood in companionable silence for a few moments before Sirius said, "I did get to see Andromeda, though."

"I figured, since you said she was willed something as well."

"Yeah, well… She looks good. Happy. Wants me to come visit."

"You should. You never know. You might become Nymphadora's favorite uncle."

Sirius looked at Remus in amazement. "How did you even remember that name? I couldn't remember it."

It was Remus' turn to shrug. "The name just kind of… stuck with me. Dunno why."

"You need a girl, mate," Sirius joked lightly, but he noticed Remus only frowned slightly and looked back at the crowd. "Has anyone gone for the butterbeers, yet?"

"Hmm? Oh, yeah."

"Come on. I'm hungry. Let's go to the kitchens."

Sirius turned to leave, giving Remus no option but to follow. Otherwise, Sirius would be wandering the castle alone, and he didn't think that would be such a good idea. He thought about mentioning the food sitting on platters throughout the room, but decided against it. Sirius was typically pretty observant, and if he wanted to go for a walk, then food was probably not his primary objective.

The two engaged in small talk on the way down to the kitchens – catching up a little, laughing. Sirius grabbed some food, and the two headed back. It was during the course of this return trip that the conversation shifted.

"So how are you doing, Moony?"

"Didn't we already cover this," Remus asked with a chuckle.

Sirius frowned briefly. "You've just been… quiet of late... what's going on in that fuzzy little noggin of yours?"

Remus was taken by surprise. He had expected Sirius to talk about his uncle or death. To Remus' knowledge, this was the first person Sirius knew, personally, who had died. And he thought he might want to talk about it. He had not expected Sirius to inquire about his state of mind. Of course, he hadn't realized anyone had noticed a change. He'd barely noticed it himself. "You pretty much know everything that's going on. I've just been busy, between tutoring and studying…"

"Mmm… So you haven't given any thought to what's coming next? What happens when we leave school?"

Remus thought for a moment. In truth, he'd been thinking about the future a lot – when he wasn't studying. He felt as if he was in a perpetual state of waiting. Waiting for the next full moon. Waiting for exams. Waiting for "real life" to begin. Waiting. And because of the waiting, he didn't participate in the now. And because he didn't participate, he watched and listened and lived vicariously through his friends. Usually, it didn't bother him. Usually there was too much going on. And with N.E.W.T.s looming so close, nearly all his thought and mental powers were bent toward studying and preparing for the exams. He was well aware his chances of getting a good job were slim since he was a werewolf. But he hoped that if he put forth that extra effort and stood out enough, that someone might give him a chance anyway.

"Do you ever feel like you're stuck?" Remus began. "Like everything hinges on some future event that you're not even guaranteed is going to happen?"

"I don't like waiting in line," Sirius said lightly.

Taken aback, Remus asked, "What?"

"I don't like waiting in line," Sirius repeated. "It's boring and sucks the life out of me. But if I have to wait in line, I want it to be with my friends – so I know I'll have fun, get a few laughs, make the time pass easier."

Sirius could be so annoyingly right sometimes, even when he seemed to be coming from left field. "Sometimes, you don't have a choice. You have to stand there alone."

"So? That doesn't mean you stop living. Do stuff, so that when you're out of line and back with your friends, you have stories to tell."

"I haven't stopped living, Padfoot. I'm just busy."

"How do you make the Draught of Living Death?"

"Well, first you have to gather the asphodel in an infusion of…"

"The fact that you can rattle that off tells me you've studied way too much. Not living, mate."

"Padfoot," Remus said, somewhere between exasperation and tired defeat. "You will probably be able to get any job you want. Nobody is going to want to hire a… me."

Sirius smiled cynically. "I want to be an Auror. That includes a background check. Do you know the likelihood of me actually passing a background check with my family history? My entire family is into the Dark Arts and supportive of Voldemort's ideas, if they haven't openly admitted to supporting Voldemort, himself. I'm not exactly a prime candidate for the Auror's program."

Remus hadn't really thought about that, but he argued, "You could still probably get about any other job. Like you even have to work."

Sirius laughed. "So failure to achieve my greatest aspiration is less… heartbreaking because I have other options?"

"Yes! No… I…" Remus stammered.

"Look. You're probably right. It would be easier for me to find something else to occupy myself. But… I don't want to just 'occupy' myself. I don't want to just stand in line. I want to enjoy what I'm doing and enjoy my friends while they're there with me. You, mate, are standing in line. Just… don't get so used to standing in line that you forget to leave once you've paid."

"I don't really think that's possible. Lines don't usually continue once you pay or get what you came for."

Sirius smirked. "It's an analogy, mate. Don't overanalyze. My point is you can get so used to waiting on the future to find fulfillment, that you can't live in the now. And for goodness' sake, get yourself a woman!"

"What does that have to do with anything? Why do I need a woman to be happy?"

"Not everyone does. But I remember how happy Aden made you."

"Yeah, and look how well that turned out," Remus mumbled.

"So she didn't. That doesn't mean there isn't someone out there for you. Prongsy finally reeled in his woman. Look how happy he is."

"You should talk. I don't see you trying very hard to keep hold of Gillette," Remus retorted.

Sirius did a double-take that made Remus snicker. "We're not talking about me. And who says I need a woman, anyway."

"Riiight. All I'm saying is that the only thing keeping you from being an 'official' couple is that you haven't made it official, yet! Keep pushing her off and you'll lose her."

"And I'm supposed to take relationship advice from a guy who hasn't looked at a pretty girl in two years?"

"I've looked," Remus said a little defensively. "I just haven't acted."

"Well, seems to me we've had this conversation… years ago. And, so you didn't get the perfect girl the first time…"

"Says you," Remus said solemnly.

Sirius snickered. "You're pouting. I thought only Prongs did that." Remus relented his point by chuckling. "Are you two still together?"

"Uh – obviously no."

"Then she wasn't 'the one.' That doesn't mean you stop trying."

"And what's your excuse?"

"I never claimed to have found 'the one.' And stop re-directing the conversation to me."

"Yeah, but you still haven't answered my question," Remus persisted.

"I didn't realize you'd asked a question," Sirius grinned.

Remus sighed in friendly exasperation. "Why have you not asked Gillette out?"

"I don't remember you asking that."

When Sirius didn't say anything else, Remus said, in a louder tone than normal, "Well?!"

"Honestly?" Sirius asked. Remus rolled his eyes and nodded frustratedly. "As much fun as my life is, it's a quagmire and I don't want to drag a half-decent woman into it. Besides," Sirius looked straight ahead, his tone dropping slightly. "No decent woman would want to be a part of it."

It was Remus' turn to laugh, and Sirius frowned at him. "Sorry. You… think…" he was having a hard time speaking for laughing. "Sorry…" He cleared his throat. "Sorry. You think you're life is any more messed up than mine?"

"Well… no… But you deserve a good woman. And your only fault isn't really… well, your fault."

Remus frowned. "Wait. You… It's not that your life is messed up. You don't think you deserve a good woman." Sirius didn't answer. In all seriousness, Remus asked, "Why?"

"Like you, of all people, have to ask." When Remus continued to look questioningly at Sirius, he continued, "Never mind. The point is… Better living through vicarious living."

Remus snorted. "We're both pretty messed up. So. What are we going to do about it?"

"Get you a woman," Sirius grinned.

"Tell you what," Remus' eyes glinted. "I'll agree to go on a date with whomever you set me up with, IF," he held up his finger to emphasize his point, "IF you ask Gillette out."

"Well that's easy. We've already gone out."

Remus wagged his finger. "No, no. I mean, going steady."

Sirius' eyebrows furrowed. "Hmmm. How long do I have to find you a woman?"

"Well, considering May is upon us and studying is only going to intensify, I say it's best to wait until after N.E.W.T.s."

Sirius nodded. "Sounds good." And he shook Remus' hand. After a minute of walking in silence, Sirius snarked, "'May is upon us'? Who speaks like that anymore?" Eyeing Remus appraisingly, he continued, "I may have a harder time finding someone for you than I thought."

Remus punched Sirius lightly on the arm. "Git. By the way, I didn't know you knew the word 'quagmire.'"

"I am very well spoken when I want to be… berk, " Sirius said, his nose held snobbishly up in the air.

"You learned it that summer you were reading the dictionary," Remus joked, "…for fun."

It was Sirius' turn to pout. "It wasn't for fun. It was because I was bored – out of my mind! I'm not a masochist, like you."

They arrived at the portrait hole. "Murcus," Remus supplied the password. "So when are you going to ask her?"

Sirius shrugged. As they stepped through the portrait hole, he searched the room for Gillette. "Dunno."

Remus nudged Sirius with his elbow. "Thanks."

"Don't mention it. Really. Wouldn't want to be accused of having a feminine side," Sirius grinned, and the two took seats near the fire. The party was still going on, though it seemed "story-time" was over.

"Padfoot!" James called. "When did you get back?" he asked, glancing at Remus.

"Not long. How was the game?"

"We won!" James exclaimed. Remus and Sirius glanced at each other – a knowing look. James was so easy to distract sometimes. It didn't take long for James to launch into the play-by-play of the game, Sirius reacting perfectly at all the correct moments. Lily rolled her eyes, but she stayed close by, listening. James was, after all, a great story-teller.

OOooOO

A/N - Wow! Can you believe it? 100! Thank you for the continued support and wonderful reviews. Thank you to my patient and longsuffering betas - mom, mei mei, and J.A. Carlton. Love ya.

On a side note - you know, when I wrote this, I really hadn't intended to draw out the moment that Sirius finally asks Gillette out until the last possible second for the purpose of suspense or tension or whatever you want to call it. But now, it's actually kind of funny that it took so long. Hope it hasn't become annoying to y'all, though.