Disclaimer: I do not own Big Time Rush (I wish)

Uh, so this is pretty packed with crazy stuff. You get a taste of James' feelings and Ethan's part is really short, but it's really powerful if you get it, which you hopefully will...

In this chapter...Our crazy girls, our sad boys, and crazy Ethan...

Chapter 25: Emma's POV

I swear, never in my life have I felt so liberated and so free. We've been gone for only four days and I'm having the time of my life! We've done a bunch. The first day, we went to an amusement park, the second day, we went sight-seeing, we've gone to the beach, and tonight we're going to a party that Zac Efron's son, Chris was throwing.

"Has anyone seen my hair brush!" Jade yelled from somewhere.

"Wherever you left it!" Erika yelled in response.

Right now, I was in the bathroom, standing in front of the mirror, trying to figure out what to do with my hair. I glanced to my right to see her hair brush.

"It's in here," I called.

I could curl my hair, but that takes a lot of time. I could straighten it, but it seems too basic. I could curl it and put part of it up or something, but again, too overboard and it probably won't be cute.

Jade opened the door and I handed her her brush.

"What are you doing?" she asked.

"Trying to figure out what to do with my hair," I said.

"Just straighten it and show it off," Jade said. "It'll be fine."

I shrugged and found my straightener. This house is amazing by the way. It's right on the beach and it's roomy, built with more rooms than we need, or than Uncle Jett actually needs. There's a fireplace, which is nice, even though it's mainly warm still this close to the winter, and there's an amazing deck with a hot tub built into the ground.

After straightening my hair, I went downstairs to look at myself in the full body mirror.

"Looking good Chica," Erika walked in.

"Same to you," I chuckled.

"I try," she posed in front of the mirror.

Jade came down too and we were ready to go.

"We look cute," Jade smiled. "We should take a picture."

"For our parents to see it, know where we are, and come and get us?" I reminded her.

"Right…we can still take one!"

Erika and I agreed and we took a quick selfie before getting into Erika's car. Party, here we come.

EVERLASTING FEELINGS

We got into the car and Erika started the car before speeding off.

"I can't believe you got into a fight!" I yelled at Jade in the back seat. "We were there for less than an hour!"

"It was her fault," Jade defended herself. "She was talking about our parents."

"What did she say?" Erika asked.

"She was making sneaky comments like, 'If it isn't miss clueless about her family' or 'do your four dads approve of you being here'," Jade said.

"They're just ignorant," I said. "You've got to ignore them."

"Yeah, well I came to have fun, not to be harassed," she crossed her arms.

"Someone probably took a video, and it'll go viral and we'll be dead," Erika said.

"It felt good to pull on her hair though," Jade said.

"Jade!" I yelled.

"What?" she asked, clueless. "It did!

We were silent for a few seconds, just riding.

"It was a pretty incredible thing to see though," I said eventually.

"I know," Jade smiled. "Fighting isn't cool, but I think in this situation it's justified."

"Just try not to fight anyone else," Erika laughed.

"Where are we going?" Jade asked.

"I don't know," Erika shrugged.

"It's a pretty night, maybe we can just relax on the beach," I suggested.

"Sounds good to me, even though I'm kind of sad we got all dressed for nothing," Jade shrugged.

"There's another party tomorrow," Erika said. "Maybe we can try again? But for now, I love the beach idea."

We rode over to the house and parked the car before getting out and going to change into something more comfortable. We took some towels and sat on them closer to the water, just looking up at the stars. We were silent for a good five minutes.

"You guys know that eventually we'll have to go back home," Erika spoke first.

"Yeah," Jade and I both said.

"I just don't want to think about it yet," Jade added.

"I wonder what our parents are thinking right now," I said.

"I think Kendall will be the maddest when we show up," I said.

"James is going to try and be strict about it, but fail," Erika said.

"Carlos is going to just be happy we're home," Jade said.

"Dad is going to punish us," I said.

"Yeah, and my dad will probably either not care, or be like Logan and punish us. It could go either way wth him," Erika said.

"When are we going to go back?" Jade asked.

"Soonish," Erika said. "We can't live here forever. Eventually dad will realize I took the key to his beach house and know where we are, or we're going to run out of money and have no choice but to go back home."

"That's a good point," I said. "I'm just not ready to face them."

"I still can't believe they all lied to us like that," Jade said.

"I know, it's crazy how much we believe them too. I mean, if I really think about it, I don't look

anything like Carlos, and the only way you can tell that I'm related to Ethan and Evan is because we all look a lot like dad."

"Well, you two also look like twins, we just never really paid attention to it before," Erika said. "And Ethan looks the most like Carlos."

"I can't say, I don't want to be there," I said. "I still love all of them."

"Yeah, I think I would almost feel better not knowing the truth at all and spending the rest of my life thinking that Kendall and James were my parents," Jade said.

"Yeah, but you have to think…the four of them have to feel pretty relieved now to have that huge secret off of their chest. They'd have to live with the guilt for the rest of their lives," Erika said.

"They've already done it for 16 years," I said. "They're 39 and 40, they could've held it for another 30 years or so."

"Yeah, but now all of us have to face it…most likely when we get home," Jade said. "It'll take forever to get over, but I'm willing to try my best."

"Me too," I agreed.

"Yeah, I'm kind of tired of fighting," Erika said.

"Agreed. I just want things to go back to normal," Jade said.

"Even though it will never be normal again," I reminded them.

"We should still try," Erika said. "Promise?"

"I promise," Jade said a few seconds later.

"I guess I do too," I chuckled.

With that in mind, the three of us continued to gaze at the stars in the night sky, and somehow, it calmed me down…and reminded me of my family. Every little star was on its own, but they were still together, where they would be for eternity and it's kind of like us; you can't choose your family and you can't help but to love them…all of them and that feeling lasts forever, even when they hurt you.

Gosh, sometimes everlasting feelings are stupid.

James' POV

I unlocked the door to the house and opened it, walking in where it was dead quiet. Gosh, so much is changing. Kendall is depressed, Adam is never here because we're both so depressed. The new baby isn't here crying like she should be, or better yet in Kendall's stomach where she belonged for another four months. Oh, and not to mention the fact that my adopted daughter, who hates me, is still missing and won't return any of our calls.

I walked into the living room where Kendall was sitting on the couch, but not doing anything. I've never seen him like this, it's so weird.

"Hey Ken," I said.

"Where have you been?" Kendall asked, not looking at me.

"Working," I said. "Like I always do."

"You should have been home almost two hours ago," Kendall said. "Are you trying to leave me like both of my daughters?"

"Of course not," I made a face. "Don't act crazy. I stopped at the mall and looked at baby clothes, then I went by a few stores and got Adam some shirts, and then I stopped at the grocery store as you can see with all of the bags in my hand."

"I'm not acting crazy, I'm just scared," Kendall said. "You haven't shown much emotion in the past few days either."

"Sorry I couldn't impress," I rolled my eyes, walking into the kitchen.

Kendall got up and followed me..

"What is your problem!" Kendall said. "Ever since Faith died, you've been all distant and then I express something to you and you just shake it off."

"Because you act like I'm going to do something crazy like leave you, which is crazy because I love you more than anything and you know that," I said.

"I'm sorry," Kendall's eyes watered. "I'm just still very effected by this."

"And I'm not?" I snapped.

"James…" Kendall looked shocked.

"Let me just say something," I looked at him, the food forgotten. "I know she came from your body, but she was my daughter too. I'm still pregnant! I'm the one that can barely sleep, can't eat, afraid to do much of anything because I feel like if I do, that the same thing is going to happen with me and it's not easy to deal with Kendall! Living in constant fear, and I'm not even halfway through this pregnancy yet. The only chance I have at being pregnant, and I can't even enjoy it anymore. Faith is gone, no one knows where Jade is or when she's coming back, and I feel like the only people I have left is you, Adam, and the guys. I'm just tired of all of the drama Kendall, it's just too much!"

I stormed out of the room, heading upstairs. I feel like a big baby, but it's really too much to handle right now. I sat on the bed and I let my tears fall. I was so miserable right now, and that's not helping this baby at all.

Ethan's POV

Right here, I sit on this table, the initial shock still there. I'm p sure I was going to regret this decision, but there was no turning back now. What would my boyfriend think? What would my siblings think, my grandparents, my uncles? Most importantly, what would my parents think?

The speculum was used, and I was injected with a needle. I started to cry. I didn't want to do this, but I wasn't ready. Please don't judge me, even though I'm judging myself right now. Wow, I can't believe this is happening.

The instrument was ready and the doctor turned to me.

"This may be uncomfortable," he said.

I nodded and he proceeded. I couldn't even look. I stared up at the ceiling and I let the tears flow as he got to work.

To my unborn child, I am so sorry.

Totally can't wait to see responses to this chapter!

ATTENTION: I CHANGED MY TWITTER NAME! So, now follow me at Rushercon. I changed it because I am also obsessed with a group of teenage viners as well as BTR...judge me.

Question: Ethan thoughts? I expect alot of reviews to be about it lol. Poor James? Do you feel more for him or Kendall?

REVIEW IT UP!

Love you guys! Until Next time,

Rush on!