Their Second Chance

Chapter 25

Andrea could tell that Mike was having a bad day first thing that morning. Initially she thought it had to do with Hannah's severe asthma attack but Mike just seemed very sad. His emotions were closer to the surface which was not like him at all. Andrea didn't have to be at the training facility until ten and so she enjoyed breakfast with her family until Hannah mentioned Abby. Mike suddenly got up and left the table with no explanation. Andrea and Ellie had both seen tears in his eyes and after Andrea got Hannah somewhat calmed down after Mike's sudden departure; she tracked them down in their bedroom.

"Mike, what's going on? You aren't normally like this and Hannah is upset. She thinks since you left the table like that, you don't want her to talk about her sister." Mike had his back to her and seemed to not want to face her. She finally grabbed his arm and turned around. His face was streaked with tears and Andrea immediately pulled him into a hug. It scared her when she felt the hot tears wetting her shirt. She held onto Mike and just let him cry it out even though it scared her. He finally pulled away but still seemed off.

"Sorry about that. I'll talk to Hannah." Mike was drying the tears with a Kleenex and tying to act normal but Andrea wasn't fooled.

"That little girl is devastated, I can deal with that but I need an explanation. She is going to think that her mom, brother and sister are some subject that can't be brought up or talked about. You owe her more than that." Andrea had both hands on Mike's shoulders. She hated being that firm with him but she wouldn't get through otherwise and she didn't have the time to delve deeply into Mike's breakdown.

"That's just it. Hannah's memories of them are fading and there will come a day that I will be the only one who really knew them. How am I supposed to deal with that?" Andrea could hear the anger in his voice and she put both hands on his neck more or less just to keep him grounded.

"I remember them. I know it's not the same but it's the best you can do. I remember Christine, Abby and Lucas and I will share my memories with Hannah but it is more important that you do it. You're her link to them and she needs you to be able to talk about your memories. I am afraid that if you continue like this, you will make Hannah feel guilty for not remembering them. She already feels that you're angry at her and I am beginning to wonder the same thing. It's like you want to have made a clean break from your first family and Hannah is standing in the way." Andrea could see the shock in Mike's face. She knew he didn't really feel that way but she had to instigate him to get him to let whatever was bothering him out.

"I don't…No, my God, no. Hannah is…aside from you and Lily, the only reason I get up every day. I…I love her so much. Oh, my Lord. "Andrea kissed Mike to calm him down and then took both hands in her own.

"I know you do, Mike. She doesn't though. I am afraid if you don't address this quickly; that will be exactly how she sees you. I realize that talking about them is painful but Hannah needs it from you."

"It just hurts. Talking about them, especially Abby and Lucas, means admitting that they're gone. Why them? Lucas dying was bad enough, but Abby, Christine? And I don't say that to hurt you."

"I know. And I don't know why they had to die too. It's not fair that one person has lost so much. I said I knew them too and one of the things that I know with absolute certainty is that those three would not want you to think of them and be said or angry. They would want you to smile and laugh. Correct?"

"Yeah, but easier said than done. I had a dream about Abby last night. I…just feel like this huge piece of my heart is just gone. I feel empty."

"Was she happy in your dream?" Mike had pulled away and sit down on their bed and Andrea sat down next to him and grabbed his hand.

"Yeah, she seemed to be. She just said I needed to, essentially, hurry up and grieve for her so I could share my memories with Hannah. The one bright side was I got my hug."

"Well, that's a start. Another one will be to tell Hannah that when she wants to talk about her mom or her brother and sister; you will. It's up to you to keep her memories of them alive. That is what they deserve. For you to go through this and then be able to think of them and smile. I knew them well enough to know that is what they would want. Now, I could easily spend the rest of the day with you but I need to go to work. I'll send Hannah in, just talk to her. She's a smart, sweet little girl who loves her daddy so, so much. She'll understand this. Just tell her." Andrea leaned over and kissed Mike again and then got up and went into the living room. Hannah was sitting on the couch, looking very forlorn so Andrea sat down beside her before she left to go to work.

"Daddy is in our bedroom and wants to talk to you. He's having a really rough day and missing your brother and sister. He'll have days like this sometimes. Just be patient and love him. That's what he needs." Hannah nodded at him solemnly and stood up to go to the bedroom. Andrea pulled her into a hug and kissed the top of the little girl's head. She could tell Hannah was pretty hurt by Mike's reaction and she hoped that Mike could solve it. Ellie and Lily were in the kitchen and Andrea kissed her own daughter goodbye and nodded at Ellie. Hannah was walking slowly into the bedroom, almost like she was dreading going in to talk to her father.

Mike was still sitting on the edge of the bed when Hannah sit down next to him. He smiled at her and pulled her onto his lap. She wrapped both arms around his neck and much like the night before, Mike cried into her hair. Normally, he would have never showed such emotion in front of the little girl but she seemed mature enough to handle it. She had gotten her very understanding nature from her mother. Mike pulled away but still held onto Hannah.

"Sweetheart, I promise I am not mad at you for wanting to talk about your brother and sister and your mom. I need to talk about them and be able to laugh and smile at the memories. I know your memories of them is getting dim. It's not your fault but it makes me pretty sad. You are not to feel guilty about it though. I will help you and I think that will help me not be so sad about it, okay?"

"Okay. I do remember you and Mom taking us to the beach. It was so much fun. Part of the reason why I don't want to call Andi, Mom is because I don't know what to call my other mom. Does that make sense?"

"It does and that is why Andi doesn't expect you to call her Mom. She knows that your mom holds a very special place in your heart and she doesn't want to mess that up. She's okay with you just calling her Andi because of that. I do remember that trip. Building sand castles with you and Lucas?"

"And Abby got stung by the jelly fish on her foot? You had to carry her to Mom's car? She said it hurt really bad." Mike smiled down at Hannah. Abby getting stung by the jelly fish and the resulting infection was not a good memory but it was odd what Hannah was remembering. Of course, it might have been because Abby had gotten pretty sick and for the first time that Hannah could remember; Mike and Christine were both focused on one of the other kids. Hannah had played nurse the entire week.

It was a beautiful day on the beach with the kids. Mike and Christine had splurged and took them to a beach in Maryland because of Mike deploying. Just a long weekend but it was nice for them because they hadn't taken hardly any time to just enjoy their family. Mike was sitting next to Christine, admiring her in her new swimsuit. She had been going to the gym very regularly and looked amazing. The kids were playing in the sand when Abby limped towards them with a look of pain on her face. Christine, being the type of mom she was, immediately noticed.

"Abby, what's wrong? Did you twist your ankle or something on the sand? It's hard to walk on." Abby sat down next to Mike and he noticed the tears on her face. She pulled her foot to wear they could see it and he saw a sting mark on the bottom, next to her big toe. It was already swollen and angry looking.

"I was walking over there and felt something sting me. I think it was a jellyfish. I didn't even see it."

Mike and Christine both kept an eye on the foot and noticed how quickly Abby's foot swelled. They cut their day at the beach short so Mike could take Abby to an urgent care while Christine stayed with the younger kids at the pool that came with their condo. The doctor gave Abby several prescriptions and warned Mike that she would become pretty sick. Sure enough by that night, Abby was running a temperature, high enough that it worried both Mike and Christine who were both seasoned at taking care of an ill child. They ended up sitting up with her, monitoring her to make sure that the foot didn't swell too much or that her fever didn't get too high.

On the second day, Abby's fever broke and she started acting like herself. They were able to go back on the beach and she stayed pretty close to Mike and Christine, staying as far from where she got stung as she could get. She was only twelve at that point and Mike enjoyed the time with his oldest. Christine played with Lucas and Hannah in the sand and they all enjoyed a picnic on the beach.

Despite Abby getting stung by the jellyfish and becoming so ill, the vacation had been a lot of fun for every member of their family. Christine's boss had rented out a condo in the same area and had a sixteen year old daughter who watched the kids for the evening with her mom close by so Mike and Christine could go on a date night, which was rare for them. Her boss had taken Christine shopping and got her a dress and shoes and had gotten her hair and makeup done. Christine looked stunning and they had a wonderful time.

Hannah had stayed sitting on Mike's lap and ended up falling asleep. Mike thought about laying her on her bed but instead carried her out to the living room and laid on the couch with her on his chest. She was still worn out from her asthma attack and would sleep the day away. Mike knew Ellie was keeping a close eye on him and letting Andrea know if he started acting out of character again. Mike was still intensely sad but it helped remembering their beach trip. It was almost cathartic.