The North Pole was exactly as he'd remembered it, right down to the faux-frosted streetlamps and the piles of imitation snow lining the lane. A series of brightly colored sheds kept the people waiting in line to see Santa entertained with dioramas showing hard-working elves, carrot-munching reindeer, and a busily baking Mrs. Claus. Mall management had, in a stroke of utter genius, replaced the roofs of the huts with plexiglass, making it possible for shoppers on the upper floors to look down and see the whole operation from a different angle. It was thanks to that marketing ploy that Robin was able to identify their primary goal – the hostages – from two stories up. The question now, he thought as he wriggled carefully back towards the side hall where the others were waiting, was how to get them all out safely.
"What'd you see?" KF whispered eagerly.
"I found the hostages," he answered, tucking his night-vision monocular away in his belt. "He made them dress up like elves. They're pretend-working in the different shops, building toys, brushing reindeer, stuff like that."
"How many are there?" Kaldur queried.
"I saw twenty-four. He might have a few more in Santa's castle with him, though. The roof on that building isn't see-through, so I couldn't tell for sure. There are more nutcrackers, too; two in each building that has elves, plus at least four more patrolling the perimeter."
"I wonder why the hostages haven't tried to make a break for it," Artemis mused. "I mean, six or seven people could easily overwhelm two men with nothing but halberds."
"Yeeeah..." Robin grimaced. "About those halberds...it looks like only the ones outside the North Pole are carrying them. The guys inside have guns."
"Way to stick with a theme, Joker," KF rolled his eyes.
"There's sure to be more than that, too," Robin warned.
"Like what?" M'gann frowned.
"Like..." He hesitated. Having never chased the Joker through a winter wonderland before it was difficult to say for sure what the clown might have cooked up, but he could make a few educated guesses. "Like exploding ornaments," he supplied, "or poison candy canes. Or...or falling icicles made out of sharpened glass. Just...just keep your eyes open, okay? No matter how innocent something looks, you have to believe that it's deadly. That's the best way to survive one of his games; suspect everything."
"...You know," Artemis commented, "I always thought Batman went a little over the top with his whole not trusting anything he didn't make himself bit. But if he has to deal with the Joker all the time...well, I sort of get it now."
"Yeah," several more voices agreed.
Robin glanced at KF, who knew better than any of the other teens what dealing with the Joker entailed. The redhead gave him a weak smile. "We'll all be careful, Rob. Anyway, you're here to spot stuff that we wouldn't even think to look for, so...it's cool."
"...Well..."
Kid Flash's face hardened. "What do you mean, 'well'?!"
"You make it sound as if you won't be with us, Robin," Kaldur put in, looking as concerned as Wally did.
"Yeah," Artemis crossed her arms. "What's with that?"
Robin sighed. He'd come to the conclusion he was about to share with his team mates while he'd been lying on his belly and peering down through the railing, and he'd known then that they weren't going to like it. It was the only tactic he could think of that was likely to allow them to both free the hostages and capture the Joker, though, so he had to sell it well. "Do you remember what the guard said, about how I'm...expected?"
Glances were exchanged. "Yes," Kaldur said slowly.
"...You get where I'm going with this?"
"I believe that I do," the Atlantean nodded. "I don't like it, however."
"Well I don't get it, but I already don't like it," KF put in. "You can't go up against him by yourself, Rob! That's why we're here, remember?! We talked about this!"
"I know, KF, but someone has to get the hostages!" Robin exclaimed, trying to keep his voice low. "Look...there are innocent people in three, possibly four, separate buildings down there. The Joker doesn't know you're here; he thinks that at most he's going to be approached by Batman and I. If he knows that Batman hasn't been on patrol the last few nights – which he probably does, because he's got eyes everywhere - then he probably thinks I'm going to come by myself.
"But that works in our favor," he stressed. "If I slip into Santa's house and distract him, it will give you guys a chance to take out the nutcrackers and free the hostages. Those hostages are the only reason the police haven't stormed in, and he knows it, so if he realizes they've been rescued he's going to run. But if you can get them out of here quietly and then circle around and launch a sneak attack on the castle before he has a chance to call in all of the goons he has walking the halls, we can save a bunch of lives and nab the Joker too."
"So what, you're going to act as bait?!" KF hissed.
"It's not the first time," Robin rebutted. "And it's worked before."
"And you are certain it will work on him?" Kaldur asked gravely.
"Nothing's ever certain with the Joker, but...I think it's the best plan we have." He looked around. "Unless someone else has something?"
"There's got to be some other way," the speedster insisted. "We just need a little time to think..."
"There is no more time, KF," Robin said apologetically. He knew how much his best friend hated plans like this one, but they had no choice. "The Joker's not a patient person, at least not once he's set one of his schemes in motion. Besides, he knows that Batman and I would have come running as soon as we heard what was going on; if one of us doesn't show up soon, he's going to figure out that something's up. We need the element of surprise, and right now we still have it. So let's use it, huh?"
There was no more argument from the group. A round of hesitant nods conceded, with Wally being the last to agree. "...I hate this," he muttered.
"I know," Robin said. "...I'm sorry." With that, he stood up. "Let's get moving. The sooner we wrap this up the better."
"Heh," KF laughed hollowly. "'Wrap it up'. I get it. It's like a present for Batman, right?"
"A present for Gotham," the younger teen corrected him. "...And especially for all those innocent people downstairs."
"Yes! For them," M'gann said fervently.
"...Yeah." Sighing, Wally slung his arm across Robin's shoulders. "Merry freaking Christmas..."
The first thing Robin saw when he had successfully infiltrated Santa's castle was the trio of elves standing at attention with their hands tied behind their backs and tears falling freely down their cheeks. A rope tethered each of them to a ceiling beam by their necks, explaining their distress. The teen felt anger rise in his stomach. Those people had done nothing to deserve what was happening to them, and yet there they were, trussed up to be hung by a psychopath in a St. Nick suit. To create mayhem and terror on any other day of the year was bad enough, but to scar Christmas was too much.
A radio squawked somewhere in the shadows that lined the dusky room. "Oh-ho!" the Joker's disgustingly hearty voice rang out. "A pair of nutcrackers knocked down on level three. That can mean only one thing; a little Robin has come home to roost for Christmas." A spate of whistling sounded. "Come out, little Robin! Come out and play on Christmas Day!"
As if on cue, the antique clock above the false fireplace opposite the hostages chimed twelve times. A counter set into its face and labeled 'Days 'Til Christmas' turned from one to zero, and the Joker gave an exceptionally jingly laugh. "Come out and claim your stocking, little birdie! If you've been good all year you'll get a present, but if you've been bad...well, bad boys get a lump of coal shoved down their throats, don't they?" When several moments passed without an answer, he seemed to grow agitated. "...Bad boys include those who don't listen to their elders' instructions," the Joker snarled. "Get out here now, or I'll blow up your presents and the pretty bows on top of them."
Craning his neck to see around the tree camouflaging him, Robin realized what the madman was referring to. Each of the three elves was standing atop a large square box that had been gaily wrapped and beribboned. If there were explosives of any sort in those packages, the hostages wouldn't be able to escape. Without knowing for sure where his target was and what progress had been made by the rest of his team, he didn't dare launch an offensive. The best he could do for now was to comply. He bit his lip briefly, then set his jaw and stepped out into the middle of the room. "I'm here, Joker," he called out. "Now show yourself."
"What's that? Little birdie wants to see Santa? How sweet." The clown sauntered out then, wearing – as Robin had suspected he would be – a bright red suit with white fur trim. On his lanky frame the get-up made him look more like a pimp than like Father Christmas, but the teen supposed that may have been due to the hundreds of tiny silver bells that had been sewn onto every hem. "What do you think?" the Joker asked, turning around slowly before plopping down into Santa's gilded seat. Reaching up, he flicked one of the ornaments with a hoary finger. "There's one for every person I've ever killed," he explained lovingly. "I know; I counted them to be sure. I call them my slay bells."
Had there not been actual lost lives attached to the pun, Robin would have found it funny. As things were, though, it just made him sick. "What do you want, Joker?" he demanded.
"What do I want? Why, I want to teach the people of this city what really matters about Christmas, of course! Tell me, did you see my industrious little elves as you came in? Don't they look delighted? You see, they've learned something tonight. They've learned that there are more important things in the world than rushing out at the last minute to buy cheap plastic crap for their families and friends. Don't you see what I've done here?" He spread his arms wide. "I've created a Christmas utopia! So long as you work hard and don't complain, you get the best gift of all – life. But if you do balk or bitch, well..." His fingers flapped towards the pale, trembling elves against the wall. "...In that case, there's no place for you here."
He leaned forward. "So tell me, Robin; are you going to be a good boy and play by the rules? Or do I have to demonstrate what happens to bad little boys?"
All he had to do was buy time, he knew. If he could just hold out and keep the half-hung trio of shoppers alive until the rest of his team got here, everyone who deserved to go home for Christmas would get to. "...I'll play by the rules," he ground out.
"Perfect! Now scurry over to the fireplace and find your stocking. Hurry, hurry! It's Christmas morning, after all, and there are so many things for little birdies to do!"
He trudged over to the hearth and lifted the smaller of the two stockings that hung there. Knowing better than to stick his hand inside, he held it at arms' length and turned it upside down. A scrap of wrapping paper fluttered to the floor and lay there, shining obscenely up at him.
"It's a good thing that Batsy didn't show," the Joker remarked. "His stocking is full of coal. Santa felt that it was high time his insides were as black as his outsides, tee-hee." Sobering, he narrowed his eyes at Robin. "Now, this is how Christmas at the North Pole works. You get one present," – he pointed to the gift wrap, then to the boxes beneath his captives – "for free. After you've picked the first one out we're going to play two games. If you win them you not only get to live but you also get to pick another present. It's a very generous offer, really, although I don't think the elves would agree.
"In the event that you get all three presents, I'll give you a special fourth one. It's smaller than the others, but it really is the most important one of all. You see, if you get all the presents and put the pieces inside back together the right way, you'll get the grand prize." He smiled broadly. "...Me."
"...You?" Robin verified. It couldn't be that easy, could it?
"Me. I'll take off my suit, give it back to its rightful owner, and allow myself to be led back to Arkham in handcuffs. You'll live, the rest of the elves will live...everybody wins if you just keep on being a good boy and play the game."
"The rest of the elves? What about those three?"
The Joker's smile froze. "...Pick a present, Robin. Pick a present and play the game like a good boy, or I might change my mind about what I put into your stocking."
Three nutcrackers moved into position as the madman spoke, taking up spots behind the gift boxes. They bent down and picked up ropes, and suddenly Robin understood. Whatever present he picked would be yanked backwards, leaving the elf standing atop it to slowly strangle to death. "...No," he shook his head. "No. I don't want any presents from you, Joker."
"Oh? Well, that's fine then. You heard him," he called to the guards. "He doesn't want any presents. Go ahead and take them away."
"What? No!" Robin cried out as all three gifts were pulled out of reach of the people they'd been supporting. "Put them back! I'll play, I'll play!"
"Hmm...all right. I suppose I'll forgive your bullheadedness this one time." The boxes were shoved back beneath the elves, who stood gasping hoarsely for breath. "After all, you learned it from your father, and a certain amount of a child's behavior must be blamed on their parents. So, then...which one will you open first?"
"Let me open them all at the end," he proposed. It couldn't take the team much longer to complete their task outside, surely; he just needed a few more minutes. "If I win and get all three presents, the...bad elves...will still be punished. If I fail, you'll get to punish me instead. You win either way. See?"
The Joker sat back and seemed to consider his offer. "...Fine. We'll play for all the tinsel at once, then. For the first game-"
He broke off as several gunshots sounded outside. "...What was that?" he asked, his mouth turning down. "I said, what was that?!"
The nutcrackers kept their eyes firmly on the ropes in their hands and didn't answer.
"He's here, isn't he? Batman?" A snarl twisted the Joker's already ruined face. "Is he here?!" he screamed. "Answer me!"
"Yes!" Robin shouted back. "...Yes. He's here." There was no longer any way to hide the fact that someone else was in the North Pole, but he could keep his force's true strength a secret still. "He's freed all the hostages, and he's coming to get you next. There will be police coming in, too, now that they know most of the hostages are safe. You're done, Joker," he said, letting a wildcat grin slip across his features. "The only Christmas present you're getting this year is a straightjacket."
Another volley of shots sounded, and the teen could only hope that his friends were still safe. C'mon, guys, he prayed silently. He's going to flip in about half a second. Now I need you to be the distraction...
"Kill them!"
The boxes jerked back once more, leaving the elves to kick and struggle. Grimacing, Robin seized his knife and ran towards them, intent on cutting them down before a lack of oxygen could cause them serious harm. In his peripheral vision he saw the nutcrackers release their sidearms from the shining leather holsters at their waists, but before they could take aim at him the Joker let out a shriek.
"No! The boy is mine!"
A heavy weight crashed into him almost immediately following that proclamation. His head spun as he hit the wall and was pinned against it. A bony knee jabbed into his stomach, daring him to try and fight his way out of the hold. He tried to bring his knife around – a tiny slice in a non-lethal area would get the psychopath off of him long enough for him to break free, surely – but a violent twist to his wrist sent the blade flying. A hiss of pain escaped him as something popped in the base of his hand, and a wave of pain rushed down into his shoulder.
Fetid breath was blown into his face. "You fucked up, Robin," the Joker said. "You ruined it. You ruined Christmas. My first free Christmas in a dozen years, and you ruined it!" He was slammed into the wall once more. "But guess what? I'm not going to stand for it. You don't want my surprise? Fine. I'll give it to Batsy when he comes along. And I'll give him another surprise, too; a little Robin in a tree. Well...more like a tree in a little Robin. Because you won't be hanging from it, birdie boy; you'll be impaled on- aah!"
Released without warning, Robin fell to his knees. A glance told him that Conner had the ersatz Santa handled, and he turned his attention to the rest of the room. During the few seconds that had passed since the Joker had tackled him the castle's interior had become a madhouse. A small army of nutcrackers was engaged in an intense melee with the rest of Young Justice, and while the latter appeared to be winning they were having to earn the victory. Visible above the fighters were the heads and shoulders of the three elves, whose desperate motions had slackened into weak twitches. "No!" he gasped. Turning his gaze to the floor, he searched for his knife. It hid amongst the glitter and the darkness, however, leaving him with no quick way to cut the ropes.
"Robin!" Artemis' panicked voice rang out above the din of battle. "Duck!"
He dove to the side just in time to keep from being skewered by a rod of ice. It stuck in the wood paneling of the wall, its shining surface smeared with blood from the hand of the nutcracker who had lobbed it at him. "Glass icicles," he murmured. "...It's scary how well I know you sometimes, Joker."
There was only one thing to do other than try to get the archer's attention and point out the strangling elves to her. Wrapping his good hand around the ornament that had nearly lodged itself in his chest, Robin pulled hard. His fingers slipped a millimeter along its length, and the razor-sharp edge overcame the protective layers of his glove. Ignoring the fresh slices in his skin, he tucked his new blade away, stood up, and zeroed in on his destination. There was no more time to waste; he had to cut the hostages down, and now.
The short distance between him and his goal seemed ten times longer thanks to the war being waged around him. Weaving and dodging, he avoided two fists and the butt of a gun. Just as he caught a glimpse of a dangling pair of feet, a halberd blade slammed down in front of him. Had he been moving any faster he would have caught the steel with his skull; as it was, he nearly tripped over the handle. Speedy footwork let him use the thick pole as a springboard instead, and as he launched himself into the air he saw the murderous guard from the third floor diving for him. A kick to the man's face resulted in a satisfying crunch, and a second later he was clinging to the rope above the first elf's bowed and unmoving head.
He needed his good hand free in order to wield the ornament, so he swung his legs up and wrapped them around the beam. A clever flip let him land atop the girder just as a spray of bullets cut through the air he had occupied a moment before. "KF!" he hollered without knowing where the speedster was. "Catch these!" With that he stabbed the ornament down into the wrapped cordage and let the first hostage fall into the jostling chaos.
Without looking to see if Kid Flash had heard him and responded, he cut down the second elf, then the third. An explosion rocked the world without warning, forcing him to cling to his perch. "Explosive bulbs!" Kaldur's voice warned over the radio. "Watch out for falling trees!"
Several more booms rumbled through the mall's center courtyard. Just as Robin caught his balance and prepared to leap back into the now-smoky fray, a miraculous call rang out.
"GCPD! Hands up! Hands up!"
Blue-shirted figures flooded the castle and began forcing the few remaining nutcrackers to the floor. As Robin watched, two officers pounced on the unconscious Joker, handcuffed him, and dragged him away. In the space of a minute the only people standing were members of the police and the rest of his team, who all began to pick their way towards him. "Did you get them, KF?" he called down anxiously.
"Yup," the speedster nodded. "Zip-zip, bro. They never even hit the ground."
"Awesome," he beamed.
"Too bad the police came when they did," Artemis opined. "If they'd given us another couple of minutes they wouldn't even have needed to cuff anybody."
"Yeah," Conner smirked. "They all would have been knocked out."
"Robin?" an adult voice cut through the hubbub. "Are you still here?"
"Over here, Commissioner!" Robin waved. Keeping his bad arm close against his body, he leaped down to the ground. "...Ow!"
"Rob?" KF was at his side instantly, a frown on his lips.
"It's okay. I think it's just a sprain." Sending the older boy a quick grin, he turned away and walked out to meet the approaching man. "...Were all of the hostages okay, Commissioner?"
"The last three are being treated for their injuries, but none of them seem to be in any danger." Gordon cast a look over the teenaged assembly standing a short distance behind Robin. "I have to admit, I was worried when you said Batman wasn't in town. But your team got the job done, and you put the Joker back in Arkham as well." He paused. "...Batman will be proud."
"Ah, well..." He blushed. "I was just doing my job. Besides, it was mostly the team that-"
"No," the Commissioner cut him off. "I'm sure your team was essential, but Batman will still be proud of you. Trust me; fathers know these things about each other." He glanced at the team once more. "You all had better get home and into bed. You've had a long night, and I'm sure you'll all want to have energy for when you wake up. After all...it's Christmas."
"Right..." Robin stared around at the once-beautiful rubble surrounding them. "Merry Christmas, Commissioner," he wished sincerely.
"Merry Christmas, Robin. You've certainly earned one."
Author's Note: There will be an epilogue tomorrow, so stay with me for one more day! :D