Sorry for the wait but you know how I get when a story is nearing its end. Anyway here you go. Hope you like it.

"Where are we really?" I asked that night as we lied on the bed with Jem and Will in the other room, probably already asleep with the day we just had.

"A safe house I used some years ago. Well actually it is below a safe house." Magnus answered, somewhat sleepily as he drew circles onto my forearm, a touch so soft I could barely feel it but it still felt so nice. The fingers of his other hand combing through my wings lightly was so nice too, that I felt like I can fall asleep any minute now. But I can't yet. There is something important I need to ask first.

"Do you think we can get through this alive?" My eyes weren't open anymore but the words still passed over my lips.

Hearing them the touch on my forearm stopped, and a second later I was rolled over so I'm lying on my back and facing those gold and green eyes that always make me say yes no matter how bad the consequences can be in the end.

"I love you Alexander. And we will get through this alive. We have been though too much not to." His voice was just a whisper but it rang honest and true. And just like always the 'I love you' made my heart skip a beat and sink at the same time. Because yet again I can't say it back.

Why can't I never say it back?

I was getting frustrated but I didn't show it, instead giving a smile in return and leaning up to kiss the Warlock who is too perfect for me nut still loves me all the same.

If I was him I would have left me long ago and yet he stayed, even after everything he still continues coming back and saying 'I love you's' even though I never do. How can anyone say this is wrong then? How, when a Warlock is so much better and courageous then an angel could ever be?

Before we went away Jace pulled me aside one last time to ask if this is really what I want. He asked if it's worth it. And I didn't even have to think to know that it is. After all, I have done more than enough of thinking and whishing. It's time to get away and be with Magnus no matter the consequences. So yes, it's worth it. It was always worth it. The only thing holding me back was just to courage to see it.

But now I do. And in all honesty, I would rather die while with Magnus then live hundreds and hundreds years more without him.

If anyone wanted a definition of hell that would be it for me. A life without Magnus.

So answering Jace was easy.

What was hard was what came a week after that night.

One week. It lasted one week this time. One week of kissed and talking and just being there, together. I guess I should be happy we got a week this time.

Of course with Jem and Will there we couldn't go any further then kisses but neither of us minded, just being together was enough.

But eight days later all I could see was a furry of gold again as they found us.

I have no idea how and I couldn't hate more that they did but they found us and separated as we tried to escape.

Jem and Will were first to run, and they managed to stay together. But Magnus and I were separated as a hand grabbed for my wings and I yelled in pain because it was the one that still hasn't healed completely.

I managed to get away but I also couldn't see Magnus anymore. So when I ran I ran alone.

That was three days ago.

I got away with only a few cuts and bruises, along with some missing feathers and a reopened wound on the base of my wings.

However, I have no idea if Magnus got away or not and it's killing me with every hour I have to sit here alone and wait. Wait because Jem sent a massage with the note saying that they are fine and an address where I should hide until they can get to me.

I was covered in blood, with my heart beating too fast and mind a mess when I got it so I did as I was told instead of looking for Magnus. I shouldn't have.

I should have stayed. I should have looked for him. If he's dead it's my fault. All my fault.

And that's one more thing. Death.

I killed them. As I was getting away I killed three archangels with their own blade. A blade that is still under my pillow every night. The worst part is though that I don't regret it one bit. I killed one of my own and I can't find a trace of remorse in my mind. Not even a little part of me regrets it because it was either them or me. I had to choose and I was selfish.

But sometimes it's good to be selfish right? You need to be selfish sometimes.

Me being with Magnus was selfish. Me saying that first yes, returning the first kiss… Everything I did in the last three hundred years was pure selfishness and it is the only time I ever felt happy in my long life.

I looked rolled over on the big bed in a house I have no idea whose it is and just stared at the white wall in front of me. Stared and wished once again.

Wished that the one I love is still alive.

I wished with all my heart.

Did you like it? Tell me what you think.

Sorry for the shortness and just overall suckiness of this whole chapter. I'm just trying to finish it off how I intended to. But look look Alec said he loves Magnus, well more thought then said but still. Anyway one more chapter guys so please tell me what you thought of this one.

Thanks for reading and please review my lovelies.