Chapter 25: Oh yes, yes indeedy….. Yes indeedy do.

Reason it is so late? Well, I had to go to Alberta Winter Games, and practice was pretty much doubled because of it, and my internet was completely down until actually this Friday! And I'm a lazy poo...

Well here it is, the long awaited CHAPTER 25!

CAUTION: This chapter contains some insane plotage, make sure all medications, helmets and other necessary safety padding is close at hand.

BACK AT THE HOTEL

Shannon slowly sipped her latte, Steffi was sprawled out on the floor her feet motionlessly dangling, Eve was simply chillin' on the big comfy coach with her homeslice Maggy (the doll).

"So…are you completely freaked?" Eve asked casually.

Shannon peered over her cup, and then just coughed, "I agree with Shannon, we need to try and figure out what the hell is going on!" Steffi concluded as she rolled herself into the television.

"Okay, so the Candy Skanks have the same bitbeasts as the boys, but they're not the same, I am so confussed," Eve replied.

"GASP! Now that my damaged temporal lobe thinks about it…the Candy Bitches act like the boys too, non?" Shannon remarked as she raised her eyebrow at a very sexually active cat that was hanging out on the window sill.

"Hold on a don gone pickin' minute…SHANNON'S RIGHT!"

SOUND THE ALARM!

CALL THE POLICE!

Steffi fell off her butt, and the sexually active cat named Tibby had stopped lactating on the window, and Eve had begun to give birth to all her internal organs.

"I heard the news!" Nancy panted as she vine swung into the room, "where is she? Is she alright!" Nancy asked as she quickly scanned the room for any radioactive material.

"I'm fine-"

"Shannon, don't speak another word! Someone GET THE EMERGENCY STASH OF CRA…Uh…CUPCAKES!" Nancy screamed as she rummaged through the room in complete maniac frenzy.

"Move out of the way!" Steffi cried as she raised the convenient crochet mallet she had just found in the bath tub….gah. The crochet mallet came down hard and swift on the girls' knicker drawer, shattering the wood and showering the girls in a cloud of their own undergarments.

Once the whirlwind of lace and frills had settled down, Nancy was able to find the emergency package of pop rocks that was located at the back of the now diseased drawer.

"I think I have a thong in my latte," Shannon remarked as she pulled out a pink piece of butt floss.

Nancy tore across the Victoria Secret VRS Joe Boxer war zone and pelted the pop rocks in the general direction of Shannon's mouth.

"OH MY GOD! ARE YOU GIRLS OKAY!" Ray shouted, "I heard a really loud bang…" he stopped in mid drabble and just stood there in the doorway, gaping at the vast amount of lingerie.

"Oh no, we're fine, we were able to get some sugar into Shannon before she started going into depth about physics and algebra," Nancy comforted with a large smile on her face, not even noticing she was standing in a mound of underwear that Tibby the cat was hiding in while at the same time getting down and dirty with a pair of Shannon's boxers.

"Hi guys! I got some wheat thins at the grocery-OH MY GOODNESS GRACIOUS WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED!" Max cried hopelessly as he racked through his brain trying to figure out a logical explanation.

Shannon sighed over dramatically and picked up her crochet mallet, "while you guy's explain, I'll be in the tinkle tinkle ha ha room." Tibby followed Shannon into the bathroom, unnoticed.

"Well, you see Max…" Nancy started.

"I WAS GONNA PEE THERE! GET OUTA MEH' PANTS! THEMS PRIVATE PROPERTY!" Shannon screeched from the piddly diddly department, then she came barging out, her large pants around her knees, her bright plaid boxers still on, and Tibby latched onto her mid-thigh,

"I think maybe you guys should go," Nancy said, with a sweet smile still on her sadistic face as she pushed Ray and Max out the room and hastily propped a chair up against the door knob.

"So…?" Steffi asked cautiously.

"I have a cat stuck to my leg," Shannon said casually as she sat down awkwardly on the floor.

"Ah, I see, you gonna' beyblade with it on?"

"Eh, maybe, actually once you get used to the blinding pain it's really quite fine," Shannon shrugged, "it's more the smell of urine that's disturbing."

Just them Nancy stopped at her attempt of trying to pry of Tibby, "what smell of urine?"

"She crawled into the toilet," Shannon said as she took a sip of her latte, "mmm…thongy," she said sarcastically as she placed the cup into the garbage.

"You-you peed on the cat?" Nancy asked as she stared at her hands in disgrosst.

"Yes."

"Excuse me for a moment, I think I need to go saw off my hands," Nancy said as she ran into the bathroom. "YOU PEED EVERYWHERE!"

"It's hard to focus when there's a cat on your leg," Shannon retorted.

"THERES SHIT EVERYWHERE!"

"Ahem, anyways, while Nancy's off catching salmonella we have some things to discuss…"

"Just whack your leg against the window a few times and the cat will come off Shannon," Eve replied airly.

"Hello! ANIMAL FRIGGIN' RIGHTS!" Shannon yelled, "This cat has the right to grab onto my thigh! Hell, what animal doesn't! Except for walruses, they had their chance and boy! Did they blow it!"

"So, you're just going to walk down to the vet with a cat attached to your leg and ask for them to pry it off humanly?" asked Eve skeptically.

"Yeah, pretty much, with maybe a quick stop for a scone and a coffee?" Shannon suggested.

"Yeah, I'm down with that," Steffi said.

"So it's settled then?" Shannon asked, "Stop purring damnit!"

"Wait, hold on! We still haven't figured out what is up with the Bladebreakers and the Candy Babes!" Eve cried, "We haven't gotten anything done and now we have twice as many problems!"

"That may be true, but it still doesn't change the fact that we could go mug Borris while were at it," Shannon concluded hastily.

"How do we know Borris is even here?" Eve questioned.

"Because he's got to be…or else what the hell would we do for the next chapter?" Shannon retorted smugly.

"Ahh, too shay," Eve said.

A/N: Okay, so not MUCH plotage, but aren't you SO GLAD you had your helmet handy? Phew, I know I was!

Chapter 26 will be up shortly…well, that's what we all hope for right?

Over and out.