"I'm drunk."

Tom chuckled as Sybil walked slowly beside him. Her hips swayed to aid in the movement of her unsteady feet as they neared their cottage. The dinner they'd just shared with Sybil's family was oddly uneventful; Tom received only glares from Cora and found himself feeling lucky that was the case. Everyone else made little fanfare of his appearance, but Matthew assured Tom that the rest of the week's festivities would involve far more people.

Sybil was long past the intimate dining setting they'd left behind. She was waiting for Tom to give her a similar declaration and when none came, she nudged him with her shoulder. "Aren't you drunk?"

Again he was laughing. "No, Syb. I'm not drunk."

"No?" she asked, genuinely surprised. "I thought we said we were going to get drunk…" Her speech was far from slurred but Tom couldn't help but to adore the way the timbre in her voice lightened as each statement of discovery took on a more melodic tone.

"No, love…" Tom tried. Sybil pouted and Tom was smiling again. "You said you wanted to get drunk and I said 'okay'..."

"I thought that was you saying you wanted to get drunk too." Sybil was still put off by Tom's sober state and she wore a disconcerted face as she turned their door key in its lock and shoved her way inside.

Tom shrugged out of his waistcoat and tossed the item to a nearby chair. "It was more me saying that I supported that decision and would take care of you if things got out of hand."

"Have I ever gotten out of hand?" Sybil asked seriously, her voice low.

"Yeah, actually," Tom chuckled as he remembered a certain incident in particular. Sybil's dismissal sounded so ironic he practically heard her acknowledge the very same memory.

It was a night before he was expected to go home for Holiday break and the two agreed to do away with his remaining stash of liquor. Sybil did her best that night to appear strong, but the next morning she was fresh out of memories as a migraine pounded behind her hungover eyes. She remembered dropping her head back in laughter and she remembered the taste of whiskey on Tom's tongue. She did not remember the way he took care of her, holding her weight up in the shower and then tucking her carefully into bed so he could finish packing his suitcase and cleaning up his loft around her.

"As long as you're not judging me…"

Tom raised his hands in surrender. "Certainly not judging."

Sybil leaned back, both hands on either side of the doorframe, supporting her weight with little effort. All of her felt weightless and while she understood his altogether safe decision, she was somewhat upset to find the two existed in a different state. "Well, did you…" Nervousness caused her voice to trail off. "I give you full permission to take advantage of me," she said slyly, finally allowing her heavylidded eyes to meet his. "If you wanted to…"

Tom smirked and went to her. Her arms only fell when his hands clung to her hips. With a wide smile she looked up to him. "I wish I could, but—"

Sybil sighed and pushed him away. "You're no fun, Tom Branson."

"I'm getting drinks with your father."

She looked to him, her glance questioning his words. "Are you going to get drunk with him then?"

Tom pressed a hand to his belly and let out a large scoff. "I highly doubt that will happen. I just want to talk to him."

Her back was to him now, and she stared at her reflection in the mirror on the wall while she removed her earrings. "What? Are you going to ask him to marry me?"

When the room fell silent Sybil's heart stopped. She then realized all oxygen was gone too and she found only an anxious chuckle of her own could excuse such a question. "I don't know why I said that," she mumbled as she pressed her fingertips to her lips in apology.

Tom could only laugh. His hands were in his pockets and he stood back now, admiring how uninhibited Sybil was being and how for as vulnerable as she had been lately, this was the first time he'd seen her truly let go. Even in their lovemaking he knew she was holding back, and he missed these parts of her, mostly because he knew this was a part of Sybil few others ever saw. He only wished such a thing could happen without the encouragement of too many glasses of red wine.

"What are you going to say?" Sybil tried again, this time feigning composure and sobriety.

"Does it matter?"

"Yes!" she guffawed. "To me it matters very much!"

Tom rolled his eyes. "Can you just trust me please?"

"Don't embarrass me…"

"If anyone's going to be embarrassed, it's going to be me. Trust me." Tom stepped into Sybil and pressed a kiss to her cheek. "Wait up for me?"

"You're still going?" she practically shrieked.

"Of course I'm still going!" Tom admitted with a laugh. "It was my idea! I've invited him and you've made no argument in your favor!"

"What if I get naked?"

Tom grinned. "Then you'll be naked and I'll be gone. But I hope, once again, that you'll wait up for me. I won't be gone long, alright?"

Sybil dramatically pouted. A sigh pushed her bottom lip out even further. "Alright."

Tom locked the door behind him. Just as he was stuffing the key into his pocket, and reveling slightly in the way his heart hoped such an action would someday be commonplace, Robert's appearance reminded him that was not his current reality. The Vice Chancellor smiled weakly and Tom met him in silence, both men immediately heading off back down the hill Sybil and Tom had only just climbed.

At this hour and with their desire for both alcohol and noiselessness, there were few choices in town for Robert and Tom to pick from. They settled on a mostly empty bar where only locals littered the space in front of the bartender. That same man greeted them with a smile and took their drink orders - Tom ordered a stout and was amused to find Robert doing the same.

"Why am I not surprised you like stout?"

Tom smirked as he took his first sip of the liquid. "Stereotypes, I guess." He sat back. "Would it surprise you if I said that Sybil also likes stout?"

"Little surprises me when it comes to Sybil."

Tom nodded and took another gulp at his foamed glass. "I know what you mean…"

"Are you going to ask me to marry her?"

"Funny...she said the same thing." Tom wondered what Robert knew. It was likely, he figured, that he was aware of the time Sybil was spending at his own flat. But in remembering that the two were not in fact dating, Tom found himself wishing he were drunk, if only to momentarily forget.

"So she is thinking about it?"

"I don't...she's a bit langers," Tom explained. "She didn't understand why I wanted to talk to you. I think it was the wine talking."

"Well for the past several years that was the furthest thing on Sybil's mind. It's only been a topic of conversation lately."

"Marriage?"

"Not necessarily. More of a future...one where she's not alone."

Tom's eyebrows piqued. "Because of the wedding?"

"No," Robert chuckled, "because of you."

There was a heavy sigh, accompanied by fidgety fingers that moved upon the napkin collecting condensation beneath Tom's glass. "I...god, this isn't easy," he revealed with a breathy chuckle. "I, uh, I'm sorry I guess." Tom closed his eyes. "Not I guess...I am. And now that I'm saying it I realize Mrs. Crawley should probably be here too but for whatever reason it's important to me that you know I never meant to hurt Sybil. I still can't believe she's even agreed to talk to me again and I'm just doing my best not to take any of this for granted. I'm doing everything I can to make her happy...just like I did then. And I want you to know that I know I messed up but I'm not going to do it again."

"I know," Robert gave simply.

Tom's gaze remained on the selection of whiskey behind the bar. "No, I don't think you do."

"No, I do," Robert assured. "I didn't hate you then, Tom. I mean, I wanted to. I didn't like the way you lied to my face and I certainly wasn't fond of the pain you caused Sybil but I wasn't angry at you for leaving. I was actually quite glad. Sybil did well at Harvard and she's doing extremely well now at the hospital because of it. She needed that time to be on her own and to figure her career out." He paused. "I'll have you maimed if you ever tell her this but thank you."

"What?"

"Don't question it. If we're being honest I've spent a lot of time trying to rationalize it myself and now that you're back I'm certainly not going to try to figure it out. Sybil has the job she wants and now the man she's always wanted is back. Both of my daughters are happy and that's honestly all I could ever ask for."

"Christ…" Tom breathed out before rubbing at his mouth in disbelief. "Alright."

"So you're not asking for her hand in marriage?"

"I'm...we're not...no," he settled with yet another nervous chortle. "But your opinions mean the world to Sybil. So obviously it means a lot to me too. I won't ask that she be with me if it's something that's going to cause her stress."

"Mary's invited you to her wedding."

"I know," Tom laughed. "I still don't get that either."

"There's not much to get. You win Mary over, you've got us all. She's the toughest one to crack."

"I don't think I've won her over. I just think she loves Sybil a lot. I can't argue with that."

"We can't live in the past, Tom. It doesn't do any of us in the present any good. We've all moved on and it seems Sybil has too. If you're the person she wants to spend the rest of her life with, then I'm okay with that."

"I don't know what she wants. I only know what I want. But if she wants what I want then dear god I'd be a pretty lucky bloke if she chose to spend the rest of her life with me."

"Well I can't fault Sybil for maybe being a bit guarded. Though it's worth noting that she hasn't brought a man around, much less taken a date to a wedding, since you left."

"I know…"

"I think Sybil knows what she wants...she always has. Before she didn't want to tell the rest of us...now it seems she doesn't want to admit it to herself. Though I'd say you being here is a fairly large indication of how she feels and I'm happy to know she's not completely hiding things anymore. Soon, I imagine, she'll embrace the truth more fully."

"Does it help that I went to Cambridge?"

"Yes," Robert admitted honestly. "The PhD is nice too."

"I appreciate the honesty."

"It's the only thing that truly works in this family. Lies manage to really muck everything up. Are you taking notes?"

Tom smirked. "I guess I am. Who's to be avoided tomorrow?"

"My mother. Cora's mother. My sister Rosamund. Cora's brother Harold."

He chuckled. "Alright, let's try the shorter list. Who should I make a point to introduce myself to?"

Robert took a beat of pause. "My mother. Cora's mother. My sister Rosamund…"

Tom nodded in acceptance, finding himself to be somewhat giddy and embarrassingly so. The mere idea of he and Sybil's father, his former Vice Chancellor, going out for drinks was somewhat ridiculous in his mind. And it was equally unbelievable to him that after this he'd be going home to Sybil and in the morning she'd be there as well, hopefully pressed softly into his side.

"Fair." He smiled as he put his now empty glass back upon the bar. "Got it."

~!~

When Tom got in all the lights were off in the cottage, save a stream of soft yellow painted upon the floor outside the bedroom. As he approached he expected to see Sybil awake, possibly with her glasses on and likely with a book in her lap. That was not the case though, and yet he smiled at the sight he did find: Sybil in one of his t-shirts, her body curving into itself as she slept uncovered, her hands pressed softly beneath her head.

He resolved to meet her there and moved slowly, removing his own clothing until he was down to only his pants. Only as he settled into the bed beside her did Sybil finally stir. Tom had turned the light off but he saw her features painted by the moon coming in from the skylight above.

"Hey," she mumbled weakly.

"Hey," he gave back. "Sorry to wake you."

Sybil shook her head. Silently she turned to him, still not caring that she was upon the bedsheets while Tom was nestled beneath. "S'okay," she tried. With closed eyes she continued. "How was it?"

"Grand. Your dad gave me his blessing."

This had Sybil's gaze seeking Tom out. "Oh yeah?"

"Yeah," Tom sassed. "But only because I went to Cambridge."

Sybil's nose scrunched upward and she let out the most adorable giggle. "Of course."

Tom felt brave with her near, and though pieces of her seemed to still be lost in slumber, he somehow managed to coax her under the covers with him. There she instantly had her arm across his chest while her mouth sought solace near the crook of his neck. "What did he really say?"

"That he wants you to be happy."

"I am," Sybil assured. "I'm sorry if I—"

"Sybil, it's fine."

"Does he think we're moving too fast?"

"It doesn't seem that way. And that's saying something considering it's likely he thinks we're dating...and we're not."

Sybil opened her eyes, but only so she could criticize Tom with her glance. "Was that meant to hurt me?"

He sighed. "Of course not. But it's the truth, isn't it?"

Sybil looked away from him. It was somewhat odd to realize how close they were while simultaneously acknowledging the distance that still existed between them at times - all of it self-induced. "You're being cruel."

"Sybil, I didn't—"

"Of course we're dating."

"Oh?"

"I mean...we are, right?"

"Well I haven't taken you on any dates."

"You've made me dinner almost every night this past week. I've slept over at your place...every night this past week." Sybil added in fond recollection.

Tom looked down to Sybil and pushed back at her hairline. "When this is all over we're changing that. I didn't really get to take you out back then either and—"

"Tom, I don't care about any of that," Sybil hushed softly. Her voice begged that he listen and so he did, wondering if she could hear his heart beating from where her cheek was pressed to his chest. "I don't know why I'm still so scared to acknowledge what we are. But Mary said something and it made me realize, I mean, of course we're dating. What else would you call it? And now that I've admitted this to myself, it seems silly. But you're right, we weren't much for dates then and we certainly can't go on them now. So that's not what I miss. And to be honest, while the dinners and the sex is nice, that's not what I miss either. I think I only realized it on the cab ride to the airport but I just missed you?" Sybil whispered, her voice moving as if in question. Tom wasn't sure if she was shocked by her own words or if she was confirming his comprehension. "Just you and me. Us...together," her voice settled. "I think I could be sitting in silence in an empty room with you and still be very, very happy. I just need you close and when you are suddenly work and my family and whatever else doesn't matter as much. I knew how much I used to want you...and I was scared then too, terrified about what I'd do if you left. But then you did and I realized I actually could exist without you. The problem is that I don't want to and it's the best feeling knowing that I finally have the power to make that choice...and it's my choice alone to make."

Immediately Tom understood, and with an ache in his chest and a lump in his throat, he craned his neck to press a kiss to Sybil's willing lips. "That's pretty poetic for a girl who proudly stated not too long ago that she was twisted."

Sybil giggled. "I think you'll find a racing mind has a sobering effect on the body."

"Aye."

"I'm sorry if that was heavy, I just…"

It was Tom's turn to laugh. "'T'was...and now I'm starting to think I'm drunk because I can't make much sense of my own thoughts…"

"Keep thinking," Sybil suggested in mirth, "It goes away."

Tom finally expelled a heavy sigh. "I...I want you to be my girlfriend, Sybil. That's all I've ever wanted. And I know what you want from me. I know you want me to leave the past behind but if I'm being honest, it's a struggle. I still can't believe I ever let you go because the moment I saw you at the hospital again, my mind was already made up. I wanted you back and I've somehow gotten you back and now I'm doing everything I can to never let you go. I never want to stop choosing you, Syb." There was a short pause. "And I'm sorry I ever did."

A silence fell over the room. Just for a moment, Tom swore he could hear the ocean hugging the shore, only to retreat again. He wondered what hour it was, but the only indication of time was marked by the rise and fall of Sybil's breathing, soft against his neck.

"So tomorrow…" she began finally. "I'll introduce you as my boyfriend."

"Is that a question or a statement?"

"I'm not quite sure," she admitted with a breathy laugh.

"It's unreal to think how unfamiliar this is. Something so simple...I never had the chance to introduce you like that before. You were always just a friend."

"I don't know if you and I are capable of ever being just friends. But you're absolutely a friend to me, Tom. A best friend."

"I don't think they'll know what you mean if you introduce me like that."

"No? Well then I'll call you my boyfriend to appease them...I'd be lying if I said I haven't waited nearly a decade to do so."

Tom smirked and pressed a kiss to Sybil's temple. "And I'd be lying if I said I wasn't going to enjoy it."

I'm soooorrrryyyy it has taken me so long to post! Again, you all were so damn good at reviewing and I just didn't have the chapter written to show you my gratitude. Last chapter's author's note still applies: I'm ridiculously busy and exhausted because of it. I really want to respond to reviews but I figured you all would prefer I spend the time on a chapter instead. Still going to try to do that but I make no promises! With how long this took me, I better start on that next chapter NOW!

Thanks for reading! The next chapter will be longer - I promise!

x. Elle