Targets of the Dark Force

by Estel Baggins

The Star Wars trilogy with a living QuiGon, and lots of different challenges than occurred in the Jedi Apprentice and Jedi Quest series.

25. The Lonely Years 2

Author's Note: Enjoy!

The Lonely Years (2)

Zee shook his brother, then, when Adee didn't resist, threw him against the wall of Adee's quarters. "By the Force! What were you expecting to accomplish?" Zee's tail whipped from side to side like a weathervane in a harsh, changing wind. "Letting out everything, not even warning me, just abandoning any chance you have- we have- of staying here at Temple. Why?"

Adee didn't move from where Zee had pushed him. His eyes were on the floor. "I received an order, and I couldn't ignore it."

"An order? From who?"

"The Dark Force. It told me to abandon my place here and go hunting."

Zee tried not to show how sick he felt. "Hunting for what?"

Adee shook his head. "No. You don't need to know. You don't want to know."

"Were you after Yoda?"

"You actually think I would stand a chance against Yoda?" Adee chuckled, but it was a weary sound. His escapade had drained him; that much was obvious. "I'm flattered. No. I wasn't sent after Yoda."

"Then who? Please don't tell me you were told to kill all the younglings. Why were you near there, anyway?"

"Because the path to my true target was there. Not the target himself- he's not even at Temple just now- but the link to him. I might, if you hadn't interrupted me, been able to learn where my target is. Then I would have left Temple, been out of your hair, and made all Jedi breathe easier."

"You'd leave me to explain myself to Yoda."

"It wasn't my choice to stay here. I was ordered." He shrugged. "And whose idea was it to hide my tendencies from the Council? Who is afraid of being cast out of the Jedi, never to return? I brought the serpent into the nest, Brother, but you have kept it here."

"Don't you think I know that?" Zee turned away, pacing. "By the Force, Adee, you don't care what I will lose once you declare your loyalty to the Dark Force."

"I thought the goal of all Jedi is to be self-sacrificing."

Zee closed his eyes. "You know I have been self-serving since we entered Temple at five years old."

"Over a century of deception. Yes. I'd forgotten how long it had been. And to think, despite that lying, you and I both reached the Council. Haven't you served the Jedi long enough? If you leave now, you'll still have hundreds of years to live in peace." He moved to his twin's side and laid a hand on Zee's shoulder. "Just because you leave the Jedi doesn't mean you have to join the Dark Side. You could return home. Rest. What would be wrong with that?"

"I wish I could. I wish I'd never become a Jedi." Zee bowed his head. "What is Yoda going to say? What is he going to think? Will he cut my lightsaber in half?"

"I could take your weapon with me, then, when you leave-"

"When I'm kicked out, you mean."

"-I can give your lightsaber back to you. You'll never have to use it if you don't want to, but it would still be a good way to defend yourself. It is the weapon you've used all your life."

Zee hated himself. He knew he sounded like a child, and that was no way for a master to behave. No way for any Jedi to behave. Sometimes when he looked back on his life of lies, he became paranoid, certain that Yoda would burst into his room some night and demand his head in payment for all the wrongs he had commited.

And yet, Adee whispered in his mind, look at how close to the Light Force you are. Do you realize that even with your lies, you're one of the most powerful Jedi alive today? What does that say about all the garbage Yoda keeps feeding his pawns?

Shut up. Leave me alone.

Do you want me to go back out hunting?

Zee whirled, seizing Adee's upper arms. "Don't."

"I won't. I won't. The one thing you did right today was to show me that it isn't quite time yet for me to spring my trap." He held up a cautioning finger. "I won't wait much longer; who's to say the Force won't tell my prey to leave his little hidy-hole before long? And I must dispose of him before he returns to Temple."

"So your target is definitely a Jedi."

"As is my secondary target, the one that, if I killed him as well, would be a bonus and a great help to my Master."

"Darth Sidious."

"Yes." Adee freed himself from Zee's weakened grasp. "I have to go now, Brother. I must meditate and center myself if I will be called to sit on the Council Camber." He moved to the door, opened it, gestured for Zee to leave. "You should meditate as well."

Zee struggled for a moment, wanting to give some last stinging rebuke, but any and all fight he'd managed to hold onto had deserted him after Rept'thik. The last two years had been nothing but pure hell, always watching, always fearing, always cautious and tense and needing to both get away from Yoda and long to confide everything to the great master.

He strode from the room, stalking down the corridor like a charging furry and not caring who saw. At first, he was just as unthinking as one of Rept'thik's large mammals, but then his characteristic self-deception and need for comfort won through. At least Anakin isn't my problem anymore. They'll never let him stay my padawan after this. They might even ask me to take a sabbatical, as Obi-Wan was encouraged to. This could be the excuse I need to get away. And without me here, Yoda will discover Adee's true intentions, and maybe I'll be able to pass off ignorance. After all, as far as Yoda knows, Adee's not my twin.

Blcoking out that possibility, Zee sought his quarters, praying only that he would be allowed to spend a few minutes alone. He hoped Anakin was somewhere else.

He should be. He was taken to the younglings' safe-

"Force burn me," he whispered.

Anakin had been in the younglings' safe-place. Anakin could very well be the link Adee was looking for. And who would he link to besides Obi-Wan? 'Who's to say the Force won't tell my prey to leave his little hidy-hole' is what he said. He was telling me without telling me who his target is.

It was slips like that which gave Zee hope for his twin. If Adee was really and truly on the Dark Side for good, would he ever let such tidbits drop? Hardly. And each time Adee gave him hope unknown, Zee remembered why he had lied to Yoda and all other Jedi for so long.

Well he remembered the day that Dooku left the Jedi, citing half a dozen reasons, things that were, in his opinion, wrong with the Republic at large, and the Jedi specifically. But once Dooku was done with all these, Yoda stood up and laid a finger on Dooku's real reason. "My padawan, distressed am I to see that leaving you will be. But een more distressed am I by this: you are deceiving yourself and seeking to deceive us. Be honest will you not? Seeking another strength are you besides that which is taught here?"

Dooku smiled. "I am seeking nothing, Master Yoda. I pray only that you will believe that in time."

"Believe the words of a Dark Force user I will when confirmed they are by the Light Force, and not before." Yoda bowed his head. "I wish stay and let me help you would. Help there can still be for you."

Dooku opened his mouth, closed it. This, Zee would realize later, was the only time he saw Dooku hesitate over anything. Then he bowed. "I am sorry, truly sorry, Master Yoda, that you will not see the downward spiral the Republic is diving into." He urned, cape swirling, and left the room.

Adee was like Dooku in many ways, and most in this: he was arrogant. If Yoda called him out, suggested he could be helped, Adee would bolt. And he would take Zee's reputation and chance at (Force how would it ever happen?) happiness.

Zee wouldn't let Adee be driven away, even if it was Adee's own pride that was doing the driving. The two of them were brothers; shouldn't that account for something?

Maybe not as much as I am letting it. True, that, but how to retreat from all the mistakes he'd made and still keep his place, and still keep Adee surrounded by the Jedi where he might at least have a chance of coming back to himself in time?

How much time? He's been tainted since we both came here, maybe not right away, but soon after. He lives for danger, and for the Dark Force. What could Yoda possibly do to convince him to turn to the Light? Nothing. Nothing. So why am I trying to keep him here?

Because to do otherwise would be to throw Adee to the wolves he was sure he wanted to be with. I won't do that. It's more un-Jedi-like than lying, than sneaking. It's betrayal and abandonment. No one can do that.

But hadn't Yoda done just that by letting Dooku walk out? Hadn't Yoda made the choice between letting the wolf stay with the sheep and letting him go out into the world because there was no real way to keep him?

Dooku isn't Yoda's brother. There's a difference.

No difference, whispered a voice Zee didn't recognize. There can't be true attachments among the Jedi because all must be given to the Force. All trust, and all lives. That is the way of the Jedi, the way they will be able to save millions. Without sacrifice, the Jedi would be just one more group struggling for meaning in the blackness of space.

So what about Yoda and Mace? Are you saying they wouldn't grieve if the other died?

They would grieve, but the Force would sustain them.

I'm not sure even the Force could keep Yoda from killing himself if Mace died.

Then you don't know Yoda.

To that, Zee had no answer. Why agree? The truth was already know. He had never known Yoda, not even as a youngling.

oOo

Anakin shook his head. "This can't be. You were a padawan only six months ago."

"Ten," Ferus answered. "We haven't seen each other in that long."

"Where have you been?"

"Diplomatic missions, mostly." Ferus brushed his growing bangs out of his eyes. His padawan braid was gone. He looked better without it.

Anakin flet a stirring that he tried to pretend was jealousy. It can't be anything else. I want

(Obi)

to be a Jedi. And even if I know now that Jedi in love can still follow the Force, I don't want Ferus. If I wanted anyone, I would want- "But if you weren't at Temple, how did you become a Knight?"

"Reeft made me one through a field commission. He submitted his reasons to Yoda, and the Council has already put me through extra trials, but that's all right."

What happens if you don't pass them? "So… How are you?"

Ferus shook his head. "I don't feel any different than when I was a padawan. Maser Reeft and I are still planning to go on many missions together, at least for a while. That's what a lot of master-padawan teams do right after they split up. Isn't that what Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan did?"

Anakin nodded, shifted. He wasn't sure what to say. Even if Ferus said he didn't feel different, it was as if a wall had grown up between them. I wonder if Obi-Wan felt this way when he became a master before Bant.

"I feel older, though," Ferus said. "Master Reeft says that's because of all the Dark Force that's growing up around the galaxy. He said it takes strength out of people unless we fight it, and fighting makes us feel older." He looked down. "I never thought I would become a Knight without Qui-Gon here. I know I didn't have him long- only five years- but that seemed long to me."

"That's how long I had Obi-Wan. And he might not come back before it's time for my Trials."

"I hope he does. It hurt to become a Knight without my first master."

Unsure why he was saying so, Anakin confided, "That's what happened to Obi-Wan. His first master died and Qui-Gon took over. He says- said- that he just tried to live in her memory, to act in obedience to the Force so that his actions would be a credit to her memory." Seeing the sorrow in Ferus's eyes, Anakin hated himself. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean that Qui-Gon won't come back. I was just trying…" He groaned. "Obi-Wan said once that the only thing that might keep me from being a Knight is that I don't have very good diplomatic skills. Even when I'm trying to be compassionate, it doesn't always come out there. Actually, it hardly ever does."

"You must miss Master Obi-Wan a lot. Probably more than I miss Qui-Gon."

"Why do you say that?"

Ferus flushed. "It's not a big secret that Qui-Gon and I never became more than just partners. We never became close. Just because I depended on and revered him doesn't mean we were ever able to get much past a professional relationship. The closest we ever came was on Rept'thik, after he explained about Obi-Wan and I apologized for my prejudice."

"I was really lucky to have Obi-Wan as a master." His voice dropped. "I never really thought about it. I just assumed everyone else had a relationship like I did with my master, like Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon had." He was thinking of walking in on Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon kissing on Ragoon 6. "Well, not quite like what they had."

Ferus nodded. "I don't know of any other Jedi- well, except Master Yoda and Master Windu- who have a relationship like they have."

Anakin relaxed. Talking to Ferus was, he realized, like talking to a friend. He is a friend. "I don't think there are any others right now. Yoda made it pretty plain that what Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon have is as close to a miracle as the Jedi believe in." His eyes moved to Ferus's face. He noted the shadows there, both the shadow of beard growing in, and the sorrow that had marked him. "Master Gareth told me that things are changing outside the Temple. Maybe inside too, but I haven't noticed that. I haven't noticed much of anything. I've only been thinking about how much I want Obi-Wan here. Are things changing?"

"Yes. There's this new movement, called the Separatist movement. It's barely more than a rumor, but Master Reeft says that if we don't take it seriously, it's going to become a threat to the Republic."

Anakin's stomach tightened. "Has he talked to Master Yoda about it?"

"Yes. He's not the first Jedi to do so. And we have other worries. The Dark Force is getting strong." He sighed. "Sometimes I'm not even sure what that means, except that our enemies seem to multiply, and I feel unfocused a lot of the time. It's not to become a Knight right now because even with Mater Reeft helping me, I feel like I'm being asked to take on more than I can handle."

"It's probably not a good time to be a Jedi at all," Anakin said. "Obi-Wan said once that all times are hard on those who want to serve the Light Force, but that worse times will come before the Jedi are finally allowed to live in peace again and be the peacekeepers we were meant to be." Of course, we'll only be able to keep the peace if the Light Force will allow us to live in peace. It wasn't the first time Anakin had that particular thought, brought on by the reality of the Light Force's desertion of Obi-Wan, and it wouldn't be the last.

Ferus's communicator chirped, and he activated it, holding it close to his mouth. "Ferus here."

"Ferus? Reeft. Have you seen Anakin?"

"I'm here, Master Reeft."

"Excellent. Would you mind coming to the Council Chamber? Yoda has questions about what happened outside the younglings' safe place." A pause. "Ferus, if you'll come to, we can look over our next mission."

"Yes, Master."

Reeft laughed. "Padawan, will you never call me simply Reeft?" He chuckled again, then closed the connection.

Ferus and Anakin made their way to the Council Chamber in silence. Anakin wasn't sure what Ferus was thinking, but, surprise, his own thoughts had turned once again to Obi-Wan. He longed to be in and out of the Council Chamber so he could at last contact his master. He'd been on his way to do just that when he ran into Ferus, and shock and curiosity had overruled his need for a few minutes.

Adi Gallia stood guard at the doors to the chamber. She met Anakin's gaze. "You will come in." Then, to Ferus, "Reeft will be out soon, and you'll talk then. For now, we need him."

Ferus nodded and retreated to a chair, taking a seat and closing his eyes.

Probably meditating. Besides Obi, I've never seen someone who meditates so often.

"Come, Anakin." She strode into the Council Chamber, and Anakin followed in her wake. She left him in the center of the room, standing a little apart and behind Reeft, who stood with his hands folded behind his back. Every chair was filled, a rare occurrence, and Anakin felt his stomach twist again. Obi-Wan. Please tell me this isn't about Obi-Wan. Then his eyes went to Zee, seeing how calm the master was, and he wondered, What happened to you?

"Relax you should, Padawan," Yoda said. "A matter of life and death this council is not. For your benefit it is." He glanced at Mace.

"Anakin, it has been brought to our attention that you need a new master."

"Until Master Obi-Wan returns, you mean." Why did I say that? Of course that's what he meant! But Anakin could take no chance.

"Yes. Until Master Obi-Wan returns. But that might be long delayed. That rests with the Force." Mace turned to Zee. "We've already spoken to Master Zee, and he agrees that he cannot take on the responsibility of a padawan just now." He was looking at Reeft now. "Your padawan has passed all the Trials, both those in the field and those given here at Temple."

Reeft bowed. "Thank you, Master. He will be glad to hear that."

"You are now free to do a favor for a friend." Mace steepled his fingers. "When he realized that he must leave Temple for a while, Obi-Wan suggested that you take Anakin under your care. The Council chose instead to have Ferus work with you. And now, though most masters would rest between padawans, we ask that you take Anakin under your wing." His expression softened. "Will you do this in Obi-Wan's name?"

Reeft didn't even hesitate. "Gladly." He frowned. "But what of the mission Ferus and I were to be sent on?"

"You will go with Anakin instead. Master X'on and Knight Ferus will attend the diplomatic summit on Cad'rich."

Reeft nodded. "Yes, Master."

"May the Force be with you," Mace said.

Reeft led the way out of the room. The minute the doors were closed, he led Anakin to a small alcove, away from where Ferus sat, no longer meditating. "Is this all right with you?" Reeft asked softly. "No one can ever replace Obi-Wan, or teach as he did, so I won't try. I'll be your temporary master until he returns, and try to do the best I can. Will you accept me as his short-term stand-in?"

Anakin's eyes, unaccountably, burned with tears. He looked down so Reeft wouldn't see his expression.

But Reeft seemed to guess. "Each time I spoke to Obi-Wan, I could hear in his voice and see in his actions how close the two of you have become. When he returns, that closeness will still be there, though it might have to be awakened. I won't risk hurting that."

"Th-thank you." Anakin tried hard to release his sadness. "I miss him every day, and it gets worse instead of better."

"That's because you and Obi-Wan were meant to be together through all the hard times that are coming." He closed his eyes and whispered, "Force, hear me again: send Obi-Wan home soon. You can feel how his padawan needs him, and I'm sure Obi-Wan is sending pleas for you to bring him back. Listen to us and bring these two back together."

Anakin's tongue spoke without checking with him. "Do you really think the Force hears you? It's the Light Force that did this to Obi-Wan and separated us in the first place."

"If I didn't believe that the Force can change things for the better, I'd have no right to be a Jedi."

Anakin winced. "I'm sorry," he muttered. "I didn't mean to imply-"

"We all question the Force, Anakin. The trick is this: when you ask a question, settle back for a while and listen for the answer. It will come, maybe when you least expect it, but never unless you listen."

The words, so much like those Obi-Wan might have spoken, swept away Anakin's bitterness. The feeling would return, but it had suffered a defeat, and that was a step in the right direction. "Yes, Master." A pause. "Thank you."

"Will you go to your quarters? I'm going to speak with Ferus." A look of pain crossed his face. "I didn't think we would be separated so soon."

"I could find another master."

"Obi-Wan wanted you with me; I'm here. After the hundred times he's saved my ass, I owe him this."

Anakin's jaw dropped as he watched Reeft turn away.

Reeft glanced at Anakin over his shoulder. "Don't look so shocked. Even Obi-Wan says 'ass' once in a while."

"Not around me," Anakin muttered, but Reeft didn't seem to hear.

The door to the Council Chamber opened and Yoda floated out on his hover-chair. "Anakin? Speak to you I would."

Reeft glanced at them. "When you're finished, please still report to your quarters."

"Yes, Master." Anakin fell into step behind Yoda as the aged master started down the hallway.

"Walk beside me will you?"

Anakin did so.

"A word I would have with you about the Dark Force you sensed. Describe it to me would you? How did it leave?"

"It disappeared. Winked out. Master Gareth thought-"

"Know what he thinks I already do. Want your impression."

Anakin considered that, casting aside the question why Yoda would be asking him when there were so many masters to ask. "It did wink out. Not like the presence faded. It was like the presence never existed."

"Think you do that the person died?"

Anakin shook his head at once. "Master Qui-Gon told me that when someone dies in the Light Force, there's an echo. I just assumed eh Dark Force would be like that."

"True that is. Hmm. So left the presence did not, and died it did not. Then what remains?"

Sweat broke out on Anakin's forehead. "It's still here."

"Yes." Yoda closed his eyes for a moment. "Spied on its thoughts I did, and though most of these I could not read, this came through: the presence seeking you was."

"Me?" Anakin was too nervous to be embarrassed that his voice squeaked. "Why?" Oh. I'm the Chosen One. Right. I forgot.

"Protected from now on you will be. At your side a Jedi will always be. And so accompany you I will." He reached out and touched Anakin's shoulder. "Until find the source of this disturbance we do, no Jedi safe is here at Temple. Ask I do that calm you remain, and help younger padawans. Hide this information from none will I. Knowledge power is, and secrets kept among the Jedi there cannot be."

"Isn't there someone strong enough in the Light Force to sense where the Dark Force presence went?"

"Feel it we cannot. Feel it none can, at least not yet. Meditating and seeking it the Council is, but talented this chameleon is." Yoda grimaced. "Frustrated our efforts are being. Whoever this is, powerful in the Dark Force- studied the Dark Force for many years- he or she is. And to know that this happened while he or she has been masquerading as a Jedi… Perhaps tend to our own walls we should before go out into the universe we should." He sighed. "And yet, impossible that is." He stopped. "Speakng to you I am as if a council member you are. Apologize I do. Much this is to heap on a young one's shoulders."

"Master Obi-Wan would always discuss important things with me."

"As will Reeft. As an equal partner he will treat you. That is why his padawan you will be for a time."

"As soon as you know that Master Obi-Wan is coming home, will you tell me?"

Yoda nodded. "You the first person I tell will be."

oOo

Obi-Wan drew his cloak about his shoulders and pressed his back against the chilling rock face. The ledge above him shielded him from the rain, but the wind howled and shrieked, making its way under the ledge intermittently.

He missed the woven reed shield he'd made, but didn't regret leaving it behind. Hurling the shield, low and fast, had distracted the al-gi-las long enough to allow him to escape. As often happened, he had heard them coming, but a pair had slithered up, silently, behind him. And without the Force to guide his senses, he hadn't been aware of them until it was almost too late.

Settling himself to wait the storm out, Obi-Wan closed his eyes and centered himself, calling on the Force that was like a dim light deep in an impenetrable forest. Daily, he struggled to keep his faith and to dispel fear. Daily, the Force refused to give him more than a drop of the living liquid he had become used to drinking whenever he chose. True, he'd never been able to feel the world rushing around him with every Force-pulse, as Qui-Gon could, but-

Really?

The voice was so soft Obi-Wan might have missed it. Except it was that still voice that he'd been waiting for. Yes. I've never had the abilities other Jedi have. And that's all right with me, as long as I have-

You have many more abilities than you realize, Jedi. You are no longer a child. List what you can do.

Obi-Wan drew into himself all the things he couldn't do, the things he asked the Force to help him do each and every day, then released them, leaving only what he had accomplished in his lifetime. Do you want abilities outside the Force, or-

The Force is everywhere/everything/always. There are no abilities outside the Force. The Force sustains all.

Obi-Wan felt a soft stinging on his cheek, as if he'd been slapped.

Stop stalling. What can you do, Obi-Wan Kenobi?

Having the Force call him by name sealed off the rest of Obi-Wan's hesitation. I am skilled with a lightsaber.

'Skilled'. Another slap. Stop veiling yourself in modesty. It becomes you, but this is neither the time nor place.

I graduated at the top of my class in lightsaber training. AndI can fly all Republic-built ships with ease. I know more about the worlds of the Republic than some-

Slap. Harder this time. Obi-Wan resisted the urge to reach up and rub the spot.

-most Jedi, and I know more about the Republic than ninety percent of those in the Senate. I know the Outer Worlds almost as the librarians know them. He sensed the slap coming again. And regarding some worlds, especially out-of-the-way backwaters that I have visited, I know more than the Temple librarians.

Speak of mundane things. Chores, 'home skills'.

I cook- he blushed- better than Qui-Gon. Guilt assailed him when he said that, and he ducked his head, reaching up to see how warm his cheeks were. They were quite flushed. Can I please stop?

Go on. What else?

I keep a neater house?

That's preference. What else are you good at?

Working with Anakin?

If the Force could sound frustrated, It did. Make that a statement.

I work well with Anakin. Under my teachings, he has grown faster than most padawans, and that is only in part due to his own initiative. He groaned. This is hard. Please, I see your point. You want me to stop thinking that I'm weak and just-

You don't see the point yet because your heart is still that of a slave who has worked his way up through the ranks, and yet can't forget his lowly origins. Talk now about yourself in comparison to Yoda.

I'm nothing compared to-

The slap this time was so hard and burned so fiercely that Obi-Wan clapped a hand over the burn and cried out.

The Force waited, but Obi-Wan sensed his grace period and his allowances of hesitations and denials were just about used up. The problem was this: he seriously didn't think he compared to Yoda at all. What could he make up? And of course the Force would know when he was lying.

I am… wise. In the ways of dealing with other Jedi, especially younglings. Yoda is also wise in that area. I am wise in putting the minds of others at ease: strangers, friends. Like Yoda, I'm patient.

That was hard for you. Do you know why? A pause, barely long enough for Obi-Wan to draw a breath. You've come to believe that you are as weak as the Jedi Masters once made you out to be. Your gifts were never extolled to you as a child, and your hard work was scarcely rewarded. 'Kenobi had to work hard to get even this far.' That's what you are used to hearing. Now get used to this: you are a great Jedi Master, just possibly the greatest of your generation. Even now, without the strong Force connection others have, you are successfully listening to and talking to the Force. How many others can say they have had such an intimate and personal conversation? Not many. Number Anakin and Yoda among those, and there are only two more left. Another pause, then, impossibly, it sounded as if the Force was amused. You're a great student of meditation, Obi-Wan Kenobi. Take this and meditate on only this one thing for fourteen days. Then I will return. Here is the sentence you will repeat to yourself: I, Obi-Wan Kenobi, child of the Light, am a great Jedi Master.

Obi-Wan was stunned enough to blurt out, "What is this? Self-help 101, Professor Light Force presiding?" He flushed to hear how insubordinate he sounded.

But the Force was laughing now. Bravo, Obi-Wan! The Force is a thing to be revered and studied, but also to be trusted like an old friend. And to trust an old friend, you must let down your guard. Another chuckle, then, all business, Repeat the statement.

Obi-Wan feared for a moment that he wouldn't be able to remember it, but over the years, out of necessity, he had developed a knack for memorization. I, Obi-Wan Kenobi, child of the Light, am a great Jedi Master. The moment the thought crossed his mind, a hundred doubts rose to challenge it.

You were right when you told Qui-Gon that you doubt. And you asked to have your doubts challenged, yes? Let it not be said the Force doesn't listen to prayers. Say it again. Aloud.

"I, Obi-Wan Kenobi, child of the Light, am a great Jedi Master." It felt just as ridiculous saying it the second time, and Obi-Wan found himself glad that no one was around to hear him speaking such lies.

One last slap, this one so hard Obi-Wan's teeth rattled in his head and when he reached up, the skin of his cheek had split open so that a rivulet of blood trickled down into his beard.

What Qui-Gon really needed to do with you was whack you over the head with the handle of his lightsaber once in a while. Repeat it again, and this time, no matter how you feel, shout it.

Obi-Wan drew in a breath, his mouth open. Force give me strength, he prayed, knowing he needed it.

The Light Force surged around him and through him. It would retreat again, but for that one moment, Obi-Wan's sheer power rivaled Yoda's.

"I, Obi-Wan Kenobi, a child of the Light, am a GREAT JEDI MASTER!"

Echoes flew back to him, telling him what he'd just said. Obi-Wan found that he was shaking.

The Force-level inside him was back down again. Now you can meditate. And the voice was gone.

Breathing heavily, heart racing as if he'd just run for an hour, Obi-Wan closed his eyes, sat, back straight and hands in his lap, and meditated.

oOo

The ship settled like a feather on the platform attached to the Jedi Temple. Anakin glanced at Master Reeft.

"Smooth," Reeft allowed, but where such a reserved word might have been taken for grudging praise, the twinkle in Reeft's eye let Anakin know that he was being teased. "But I'm sure you've been doing that for five years or more."

"Did Obi-Wan tell you what kind of pilot I am?"

"Not directly, but I've seen him light up when he's telling someone about your flying. He's always careful not to praise too much, but anyone can see how proud he is of what you can do." He shifted a little, settling himself more comfortably in the copilot's seat. "Tell me. How did you find our first mission?"

I was glad to be out of Temple. Anakin grinned, then did his best to look professional. "The negotiations went well." He paused. "Are worlds all over the galaxy like that? Being tempted by the Trade Federation and the Commerce Guild?"

Reeft nodded. "There aren't enough Jedi to try and make peace on all the worlds and to keep the Trade Federation under wraps." He sighed. "What we really need is either a Republic-run merchantry or a way to force the Trade Federation and others to stop terrorizing the outer worlds. We have two ways, or that's how I see it: either set up embargos against the Trade Federation and supply the outer worlds ourselves (that hearkens back to the Republic-run merchantry) until the Trade Federation and others are in compliance with set rules of operation, or let the outer worlds go. We can't continue to exist as we are."

Anakin stared at him. "Would you really just abandon the outer worlds?"

"Never." Reeft's eyes flashed. "But we only have those options. I will fight, as long as I'm able, to keep every planet in the Republic, but…" He shrugged. "I thought I'd lay every option out on the table." Another sigh. "And the Trade Federation isn't the full extent, or even the crux, of our problems."

"Obi said the Chancellor has been in power for too long. He seems all right to me, though."

"Even if the man is 'all right,' it's dangerous to be in one position too long. Take Master Yoda."

"He's been head of the Council forever."

"Only for the last twenty-eight years, and during that time, Yoda has left most of the leading to others. And he spends much time teaching different subjects. Just now, he's teaching younglings. He did that when I was a youngling, but between my time under his teaching and now, he taught lightsaber to senior padawans. Before my time, he had a padawan of his own."

"Who was that?"

"Well, he was Padawan Dooku at the time, but just now I think he goes by Count Dooku."

Anakin blinked. "I've heard of him. Isn't he leading the Separatist movement?"

"Yes. He's seeking to destroy the Republic he helped sustain." Reeft shook his head. "It was a shock to all Jedi when he deserted the Order, but I think it was hardest on Yoda because he was Dooku's master." Reeft gained his feet. "We should get your things. It's traditional for the padawan to quarter with his master, but in this case, I'll offer you a choice." He started out of the cockpit, and Anakin followed, curious. He'd always just assumed he'd have to drag his possessions to his new temporary quarters, then on to the quarters he'd shared with Obi-Wan when his real master returned. Reeft went on, "You can either room with me, or stay in the quarters you and Obi-Wan shared. I'm sure Obi-Wan wouldn't mind, and my quarters are only two doors down, as you know, so we could still easily reach each other if and when the need arose. What do you say?" He keyed open the ship's hatch and jumped out, not bothering to activate the ramp.

Anakin followed him. There was no one waiting to meet them, and even though Anakin hadn't really believed there would be, a small, secret corner of his heart had been hoping Obi-Wan would be standing on the platform, strong and well again, ready to take his padawan back. Seeing that they were alone, Anakin groaned softly and blinked to hide the sudden tears that came. He hated himself for those tears, thinking of them as the products of a weak mind. He hadn't been this prone to cry when he'd been on Tatooine.

Abruptly, Reef stopped and dropped to his knees.

Anakin, almost tripping over him, caught himself and started to speak, reaching out a hand. Had his temporary master fallen from weakness? Was something wrong in the Force? Anakin reached out with his feelings, seeking the Force even as his hand settled on Reeft's shoulder.

The man, if he noticed, gave no sign. He held quite still, his eyes closed, his breathing regular, and Anakin had the sudden realization that Reef was meditating. Right there in the middle of the landing platform, just like he was alone in his quarters. Obi-Wan had been prone to meditate, Anakin would have almost said, every time the wind changed, but this spontaneous, unprompted, public meditation was something new.

Confused, Anakin reached out instinctively, seeking Reeft's mind. He knew it was spying- Force help him, he'd learned that lesson well- but he couldn't stop himself.

A feeling of reach, so powerfully driven that Anakin couldn't believe it came from the soft-spoken Jedi before him. We never shared a bond, Obi-Wan, but if you can hear me through the river that is the Force, come home. Your padawan misses you. The rest of us worry about you. You've been gone for too long and we miss your light. Come home. A pause, and that feeling of reach disappeared, becoming only the normal talking between minds tat Anakin was used to. Would you like to send him a message?

How can you be sure he'll hear it? Anakin felt slightly foolish asking this, but mostly because he couldn't see how in the name of the Light Force Obi-Wan could possibly hear half a galaxy away. (He guessed Degoba had to be at least that far, if not further.)

I'm not sure. But I have hope. Obi-Wan went away to meditate on the Force. He may have been given some great insights. Even if I haven't learned how to transmit over so great a distance, he could have learned to receive.

How did you know he's on Degoba?

Reeft blinked; through the Force, Anakin sensed it. You shouldn't be so eager to share that information. I didn't know, and I'm not sure how you came to know, when it's supposed to be a secret between your master and Yoda. For the first time since Anakin had come to know him, Reeft sounded angry. Never mind; I don't care how you know. But take care that you don't reveal that bit of information to anyone else. If Obi-Wan hasn't been given some great gift by the Force, or if he hasn't been returned to his former strength, you could be speaking his death sentence. He sighed, but when Anakin tried to speak through the bond, Reeft held up an invisible hand. I'm not really angry with you. Only fear for Obi-Wan caused me to speak like that. I'm sorry. It was harsh. I know you want to protect him just as much as I do, maybe even more. A breath, and Anakin felt all of Reeft's exasperation and concern fly out into the Force, where it was dispelled. Do you want to try and send him a message? There's no guarantee that he'll hear it, or, if hearing it, he'll be able to respond, but there's no chance he'll hear if we don't send.

Can I ask one question first?

Yes. Always.

Anakin hesitated. He'd expected impatience. Why did you assume that he's far away?

Because if he was close, say here on Coruscant, I don't think he could have stayed away this long. Besides, it's just common sense that Yoda would take him somewhere far off. And, for what it's worth, Degoba is thirty-two hours from here through hyperspace.

How do you know that so precisely? Master.

Call me Reeft if it makes you more comfortable. And I know because, like everyone, I have something that I'm very good at. In my case, I have a talent for two things: I am the best chef here at Temple, possibly in Coruscant, and I have a great head for distances and the time it will take to get to certain places. I've only needed to look at the maps of the Republic twice, and I can tell you the name of every planet and its moons, and the distance you'll travel in what amount of time.

I never thought… I thought Jedi could only have certain talents, like being good at connecting to the Force or using a lightsaber. Or flying.

Strange you should add flying to that list. The Jedi didn't teach flying in my day. And you neglected patience, meditation, half-meditation, balance, diplomatic skills and having an innate ability to put anyone at ease. I haven't been mentioning your master's name since we met because I figured you've had enough of people bringing him up in an attempt to comfort you, but in this case, it's warranted: all those things I mentioned, and please add 'using a lightsaber' to that list, are skills Obi-Wan has in abundance. I only mention that because, while we both want to protect him, we want to do it for different reasons, and you might want to see if yours are the right ones.

Fearing suddenly that he'd betrayed himself, that Reeft somehow knew about his sexual fantasies, Anakin demanded, How do you know why I want to protect him?

I don't, but I have a pretty good idea. Reeft settled himself right on the platform, crossing his legs. When he felt Anakin's surprise, he sent, This may take a while. I still have to tell you, after our discussion of reasons to protect Obi-Wan, why I was prompted to call to him just now. And we may find other things to talk about. Sit. Make yourself comfortable.

How do you know other ships won't be landing? Aren't we going to look pretty foolish out here?

If Obi-Wan didn't teach you that image isn't important to a Jedi, I'm going to take him into one of the Youngling classes Yoda teaches and make sure he learns it.

Anakin flushed with anger. Don't blame Obi-Wan. He taught me that.

Ah. Good. I hardly thought he would be the sort of master to neglect such an important lesson. Sit.

Anakin did, but he was still angry. Then why did you say it?

To make you realize that others judge Obi-Wan by your actions. They judge his teaching ability by how you respond to things.

That's not fair. What if I'd turned out to be a dullard? Or what about Xanatos? He turned out evil, and no one blames Qui-Gon.

They did, once, and Qui-Gon was called a 'loose cannon' for years afterward. The opinion of only a few didn't change towards him: that of Yoda and others that were just as wise stayed in his favor. As for the rest, they only changed back after seeing Obi-Wan grow up under Qui-Gon's tutelage. 'Look,' they would say. 'Qui-Gon, that crazy, has taken on the boy no one wanted. And look! Wonders never cease! The boy isn't worthless or meant to be a farmer!'

Anakin's anger soared. Obi-Wan isn't worthless! Don't you ever say that!

Reeft reached out, his eyes still closed, and laid a hand on Anakin's arm. Let go of your anger, Anakin. It betrays you.

What the hell does that mean? 'It betrays you.' Obi-Wan says that all the time, and I don't -

Then listen. If you don't understand, listen. If anything betrays you, meaning your words, your thoughts, your actions, that only means that you, as a Jedi, are allowing those things to fester in your mind and grow. Someone once said to me: watch your thoughts, they become words. Watch your words. They become actions. Watch your actions. They become your character. Watch your character. It becomes your destiny. And I don't want you to react to that just now. I wasn't going to assign you any meditation exercises during the time you're under my teaching, but this is one I'm going to strongly suggest, and it's your responsibility to accept it and make it your own: meditate on what I just said. If you need me to write it down, I will. For now, let it go.

Reeft took his hand back. Are you ready to talk about why you want to protect Obi-Wan? Here are my reasons, and they're only three. The Force told me to, it is every Jedi's duty to protect his fellow Jedi, and Obi-Wan is my friend. Note the order. It's important. All things serve the Force, and for good reason.

Anakin rolled his eyes. I know. The Force is all-knowing, all-powerful.

If you really believed what you say, then we wouldn't be having this discussion.

Anakin gaped. He couldn't help it. You don't know me. How can you say I don't believe? And why are you judging me, anyway?

We judge everyone we see, consciously or subconsciously. It's a separate thought process entirely to unjudge them. And again, your anger betrays you. But enough of that. If we were going to have a proving test, whereby I had to try and make you believe that the Force is all-knowing and all-powerful, we might be here until long after Obi-Wan comes back. Back to my reasons. And you will listen without interruption, or I will give you to another, stricter master. I'm doing this as a favor to Yoda, a favor to Obi-Wan, and because I like you.

You don't sound like it.

Weren't there times when Obi-Wan sounded just like this?

A beat. Yes.

And he does more than like you. He loves you. You're second in his mind only to the Force.

Third. The Force, Qui-Gon, me.

No. Second, because that's the kind of person Obi-Wan is. He spent five years thinking of you every waking moment and taking care of you. Believe me. You're second. Just like Obi-Wan, who loves you, I don't want to be abused, so you'll at least pay me the courtesy of listening without interruption. I'll give you plenty of time to object and question me when I'm done. Agreed?

Anakin remembered times when he'd yelled at Obi-Wan, or refused to listen to him. Obi-Wan had asked many times for just this same sort of respect. All right.

The Force is first, because the Force must be first. And it came to me in a dream. Not once, but once a night for twelve nights in a row. 'Obi-Wan is going to help bring balance to the Force,' it said. Now I don't know if that means Obi-Wan is supposed to help you, since you're the Chosen One, or if he has more than a supporting role to play, but whichever it is, the Force made sure I heard the message. Several other Jedi who have known Obi-Wan over the years were sent the exact same words.

The padawan remembered how Yoda had said that he and Anakin weren't the only ones to dream about Obi-Wan. Who else?

Bant. Garen. Mace. Adi Gallia. Siri. Ferus. I'm pretty sure that's everyone, but I might have missed one or two. We never came together officially, but reported our dreams to Yoda, one after the other. I gave my report the day before the Dark Force made its presence known here at Temple, and believe me, my thoughts were very much with Obi-Wan.

He went on. The second reason we can gloss over, because I'm sure you know that it's a Jedi's duty to protect his or her fellow Jedi, just like it's his or her duty to help protect the innocent. Right?

Anakin nodded.

And the third reason is obvious, too. Obi-Wan and I have been friends since we were four years old. We met the first day I came to Temple and we've been close ever since.

What kept you from believing the rumors about him?

For one, I didn't hear them. For another, Obi-Wan and I were too close by the time I started hearing them for me to care. He sighed. In some ways, it's harder on you, because you came into the middle of all the rumors, not really getting a chance to know Obi-Wan outside Temple.

But I did. I learned about him on Ragoon 6.

Is that where the three of you disappeared to after you dispelled the blockade on Naboo? I wondered. Well, then you should know what it's like to hear the rumors, but not hear them, because you know the truth.

Anakin blushed. I heard them. And I was angry about them. I never… I never tried to just ignore them. His blush deepened. I know that was wrong.

Good. If you understand it, you can let go of the rumors- and the anger that goes with them- and devote yourself to showing what a talented master Obi-Wan is. Not that many Jedi now believe that he was once rejected by all the masters in the Temple save three. Obi-Wan's hard work and natural talents have done much to erase the misconceptions. He paused. So, Anakin, what are your reasons for protecting him? And if you'll speak the whole truth, I can help you. If you hold things back, we may as well skip this discussion.

You wouldn't even try?

If you get stuck, I'll try to help. But you have to start out wanting to tell the truth, or this is going to be a waste of both our time. He sighed. Don't make the mistake of thinking I'm just like Obi-Wan. He has much more patience than I will ever have, and where he's been willing to gentle you through things, I tend to cut to the chase. That's part of my nature. So will ou agree to tell the truth?

Anakin considered it. If he agreed, in effect made a small promise, he'd have to tell about his dreams. He blushed, bit his lip and wondered if he should just skip this whole thing and tell Reeft he couldn't tell the truth. He'll just drop it. He said so. And who's to stop me from growing without analyzing my feelings? But then he remembered what Reeft had said about people judging Obi-Wan by how his padawan acted, and his loyalty won over his embarrassment. I'll tell the truth.

Excellent. Reeft sounded genuinely glad.

Anakin decided he'd try to give other reasons before giving the central one, but that was too close to lying for comfort. I'm in love with Obi-Wan. He waited, holding his breath, his eyes closed, thinking he'd raise his shields if Reeft started in with a tirade.

That's hard. I should know. I'm in love with a Jedi I'd never tell, a Jedi who would just maybe accept, and that would be the destruction of us both.

What? Anakin wanted to think of something more creative, but he couldn't.

You know Master Bant, of course.

Does she know you-?

No, and I aim to keep it that way, so keep that under your hat, if you would.

I haven't told anyone half the secrets I know. Anakin swallowed. But since you told me that, maybe I should.

I don't want to know any more than you've told me. Isn't it enough that you told me about your love? Besides- he chuckled- you've already told me how close Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan are.

Did you already know they're together?

As a couple? Reeft laughed again. That explains some things. And no, I didn't know. When I said 'close' I was referring to how they used to be, how one could finish the other's sentences.

I never saw that.

Mind if I ask a question before we go on?

No.

Does Master Yoda know about them?

They had to argue their case before the Council seven years ago.

Reeft frowned. And their love was allowed? Mind telling me how they managed that?

Well, Master Yoda and Master Mace are together, and Yoda said something about one couple a century being able to succeed in loving each other within their duty to the Force. Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon love the Force first, then each other. Anakin blushed. I thought everyone knew about that.

No one knows about it. Yoda and the Council must have assumed many of us would challenge the Council and ask to love. Reeft sighed. I'm not saying if love among Jedi is right or wrong. It's only been denied for many long centuries. He shook his head. To think that some Jedi are now allowed to love. It must have been difficult for Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon to prove that they could remain dedicated Jedi in the face of their love for each other. But who better to break tradition than the 'loose cannon' and his unconventional padawan.

Are you angry at the Council for denying love to you and Bant?

When I don't know if she would try it, and when I have no idea if we would be able to follow the Force first and our love second? I'm sure there are more Jedi than just Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon who could be lovers and yet live within the promise they made to the Force, but probably not as many as I'd guess you're thinking.

Anakin blushed. Is one of your other talents guessing things?

Yes, actually. And it's called intuition. You have it in abundance, or so Obi-Wan has told me. To truly love someone, and then be able to set her or him aside to follow the Force isn't an easy thing. I'm not surprised Yoda managed it. Though I am surprised to think of him with Mace. He covered his mouth with his hand to keep from laughing out loud. I wonder how they would manage a coupling.

Anakin felt the heat in his cheeks increasing. I never thought about that.

And why should you? I'd guess you're mostly ignorant of the sexual side of things, despite your age. The Jedi do shelter their padawans from that, it's true. It's a wonder any of us discover the wonders of sex.

You… You speak like you've had it.

Reeft blushed. Guilty as charged, though it was originally supposed to be part of a mission. My master and I were- He stopped. That's a story for another day. We don't need to be sitting here for an eternity. Besides, I'd rather we finish what we started.

Anakin wanted Reeft to go on with his story, but for purely selfish reasons, so he kept his mouth shut. What more do you want to know?

Does Obi-Wan know you love him?

No. No. He can't, either.

Why?

Anakin floundered. Welll… well, what good would it do? He could never love me back. He's with Qui-Gon.

I can sense how much that hurts, and that you can admit it is a mark in your favor. Reeft wrapped Anakin in a mental embrace. But if I know Obi-Wan, I think he would be relieved to know what drives you. And take the word of someone who has been in love half a dozen times in his life, and has had to let each of them go: once this is out, you will start to feel better and your feelings for Obi-Wan will begin to change. Slowly, after your confession, you'll start to love him as a friend.

I can't see how it's going to be that way. I'll never be able to stop loving Obi-Wan. He bit his lip. Or having dreams about him.

You should give it a chance to work before you discount it.

Did you… you know, confess to the people you loved?

Only to one. You may know her. Her name is Siri.

Obi's talked about her, but I've never met her.

She stays busy. With the other five, I confessed to my master, and she helped me get through it.

Did you ever have a crush on her? Your master, I mean?

Reeft laughed. Somehow, I can't imagine having a crush on Yaddle. She's one of Yoda's species. That's why I wondered how he and Mace do it.

Anakin tried to picture a female version of Yoda paired with tall and gangly Reeft, and he laughed, too.

So will you tell him?

Anakin sobered at once. What if he's angry with me?

Reeft raised a mental eyebrow, but didn't speak through the bond, leaving Anakin to consider his own words.

The padawan did, and realized why Reeft was silent. He smiled a little. I guess that would be like asking if Yoda would get angry if I stuck my tongue out at him. His smile broadened. Obi rarely gets even frustrated. It's almost impossible to make him truly angry.

'Obi.' That's interesting. Most padawans don't have endearments for their masters.

My relationship with my master is different than most.

True. So, now that you know you love Obi-Wan and that you're protecting him because of that, let me ask you this: Could you ever leave him to follow the Force

Anakin shook his head at once, then stopped. I should be able to, but…

But. Yes, that sums it up. You're not going to like what I'm about to say, especially because you don't trust the Force, but it's the truth: you must learn to let go of Obi-Wan a little, enough so that he can be free to follow the will of the Force, and so you can do the same.

I don't want him to be hurt.

To live is to be hurt. Whenever you get done meditating on that first bit of wisdom I gave you, I'd like you to meditate on the second: to live is to be hurt. Will you consider it?

Yes. And he would. He loathed meditation, but sometimes meditating just meant thinking about something a lot.

Reeft shifted, resettling himself. I'm not going to lie to you, Anakin. We have a long way to go before we understand each other. And you still need to grow in some areas. But I think we've made some progress today.

That was true, and Anakin, despite the questions he was left with and the realization that he'd told his deepest secret to an almost-stranger, felt better. And thinking of Obi-Wan, he sent, Obi would be proud of me. It's usually hard for me to sit so still.

I'm sure he would be proud. Reeft rose to his feet. Shall we go get settled? We'll start practice tomorrow. He paused. And Yoda tells me you need help with your studies.

Anakin groaned. It's not that I don't get them. It's just that…

You've had other things on your mind. Reeft started for the Temple entrance.

Wait. What about contacting Obi-Wan?

Yes. We should do that. I can't believe I forgot. Another laugh. Force, am I getting old already?

Anakin glanced around. Why did you suddenly want to talk to him here?

Reeft smiled. That's going to take little time to explain. He returned to Anakin's side. Your call, Anakin. Shall we continue out here, or inside?

I don't care if we're seen, but I bet your quarters are more comfortable.

A man after my won heart. In we go.