A/N: Thank you all for following and favoring the story. How I love your reviews! Writing isn't nearly as much fun if I don't get to share the story. I look forward to your feedback! =)
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Disclaimer: Not Mine.
Chapter Twenty-Five - Almost
Severus thought he could almost forget about the war every time he returned to his private quarters. There were no windows in the dungeons; yet he felt as if he was submerged in sunlight every minute he spent there. It was probably an illusion cast by the young witch staying with him; but if there was indeed such an option, the wizard would gladly offer everything he had in exchange for a life in that illusion. He only wished he didn't have that dark cloud hovering in the distance reminding him of his worries, the worries that had been haunting him since he had been visited by the moonstone spirit in his dreams.
Hermione had slowly recovered from her painful stay at Malfoy Manor. In order to prevent any prolonged damage to her nervous system from the Unforgivable Curse, Severus had converted part of his living room into a makeshift lab, where he carefully brewed a complicated set of potions for the young witch. He also found various excuses not to join the rest of the school at the Great Hall, so that he could spend more time by her side. Thanks to his prior performance, not a single person at Hogwarts suspected their Headmaster's absence at meal times. The two Death Eaters on staff had dutifully respected their superior's "secret tasks," while the rest of the school simply couldn't care less about Snape's whereabouts.
In fact, no one had noticed anything different at Hogwarts, other than a couple of dedicated house-elves who had slowly begun to wonder why the Headmaster had suddenly developed an interest in inspecting the kitchen at night.
Hermione seemed quite amused when she first noticed Severus smuggling a tray of food into his room the day after she arrived in his private rooms.
"Are you stealing soup from the kitchen, Professor Snape?" The young witch let out an exaggerated gasp when she looked up at him teasingly from the bed.
"How else am I going to feed you?" The wizard huffed. "I can't risk having anyone seeing you here, including those house-elves! And I don't think I can fill you up with potions alone, right?"
"You should have said something. I know just who to call for help!" Hermione smiled brightly at the wizard as she pushed herself up. "Do you know Dobby the house-elf?"
"I'm not a social person, Hermione." Severus set a bowl of chicken soup on a small table next to the bed and put a pillow behind Hermione's back to help prop her up. "I don't have a hobby of knitting ugly hats nor do I have an urge to get to know the house-elves by their names."
"Well, there goes your chance of getting a hand-knitted hat from me. But seriously, it's never too late to make new friends." She pulled him down next to her, and surprised him by summoning Dobby right into his bedroom.
Dobby's already big eyes widened into the size of saucers as he took in the sight of the witch and the wizard sitting next to her. He opened his mouth for a long moment before letting out a mutter. "Hermione Granger? Harry Potter's friend?" And then without warning, the elf suddenly pointed a knobby finger at the wizard threateningly. "Headmaster must not harm Harry Potter's friend! Harry Potter's friend is Dobby's friend!"
Severus rolled his eyes but didn't say a word. Hermione chuckled as she shot her wizard a side-way glance.
"Dobby, please don't worry! You're right. Harry Potter's friend is your friend; that's exactly why Professor Snape is your friend, too! Did you know that Severus has been watching over us for years? He's been risking his life protecting Harry from You-Know-Who! But you must keep the secret for us. No one can know what Severus has been doing for Harry and that we're together, not even Harry himself, because You-Know-Who has the power to get into Harry's mind. If words get out, Severus would be in great danger when he works from the inside to protect Harry Potter. Do you understand?" Hermione's tone turned serious as she explained the situation to the elf. "Severus saved me from Malfoy Manor last night and I'm going to stay here for a short while. Do you think if you can help me with some things and also help us keep our secrets?"
Dobby blinked several times at the witch's word, but his large grey mouth quickly turned into a wide grin. Nodding his head feverishly, his big ears flapping up and down like the wings of a giant bat, the house-elf reassured Hermione and Severus vehemently. "Yes yes yes! Dobby understands! Dobby understands keeping secrets! Dobby is wanting to help Harry Potter! Headmaster's secrets is safe with Dobby! What is Miss Granger needing Dobby to do? Dobby is here to help!"
That day marked the beginning of the frequent visits of Dobby the house-elf to Severus' private quarters.
While Dobby's assistance offered the wizard quite a relief when it came to getting the proper dietary and daily supplies to Hermione, the house elf's one-sided obedience towards the witch's request for books nearly drove Severus mad.
Hermione refused to pass the day idly resting in bed. She had quickly decided in her own terms that a big component of bed-rest had to be reading. She read most of Severus' books in his private rooms within the first two days, and quickly began to complain that she needed further intellectual stimulants. Asking Dobby to "steal" from the library seemed to be the only solution that could satisfy the young witch's thirst for knowledge.
On this particular day, Severus had decided Hermione must have "suffered" another episode of "intellectual stimulant deficiency", as she had explained; because when he returned from the weekly staff meeting in his office, he found a small pile of books on the side of the bed that they'd been sharing for over a week.
"Doing a bit of light reading again?" His silky voice pulled her attention out of a very ancient-looking volume.
"Oh it's you." She seemed slightly startled. "I just don't get how you do it." She shook her head in amazement. "You can always creep up on others without being noticed. I didn't hear a thing when you came in. Is that some special talent of a spy?"
He gave her a pointed look and grunted, "It doesn't take a spy to creep up on you when you're with a book, Hermione. Normal people don't always announce their appearance with a loud crack like your house-elf friend. Speaking of which, why must you make him move half of the library into my bedroom?"
She giggled lightly while extending an arm towards him. "This is hardly half of the library. Don't temp me! I'm feeling so much better now, thanks to your potions. And I was going crazy if I didn't start looking into a research idea that just occurred to me last night."
Severus leaned over and hugged her gently, before sitting down next to the witch on the bed. "What research ideas dare getting into your head last night? I don't recall allowing you into a classroom."
Hermione gave him a small smile and shrugged. "It's your research about Harry's... condition. After you told me about your plans, I thought there must be something we could do to control the length that he would have to be exposed to the potions. I really want my friend to come out of this alive, you know."
"So you've decided to delay your own recovery in the process." He picked up a few books spread next to her and threw them towards the foot of the bed.
"Meow!" A loud protest came from the end of the bed when one of the books Severus threw landed on a large ball of ginger fur.
"Oops, he blends in too well, doesn't he?" Hermione chuckled.
"Tell me about it." Severus growled at the half-Kneazle. "I can hardly tell the beast from the blankets. Has he been here all day?"
Crookshanks didn't seem to be too upset by the bump in the rump. He trotted up the bed and greeted Hermione by bumping his enormous ginger head on her arm, as if giving his answer in defiance.
"He misses me, I guess," the witch smiled at her familiar. "He's been really clingy since I got here."
"But he's got a job to do, and can't laze around inside all day," Severus snarled at the cat.
Hermione knew exactly what Severus meant by "job". The wizard had told her about his conversation with Sirius Black the night before they were able to rescue everyone out of Malfoy Manor. If Severus hadn't insisted Crookshanks had to be out in the grounds the day after Hermione's arrival, the witch wouldn't have been delighted by the small package delivered to her by their furry friend - when Crookshanks walked through an enchanted cat door that Severus had installed in the dungeon wall for him that night, he jumped up to the bed with a small sack dangling down his neck. A simple Engorgement Charm quickly revealed Hermione's wand and her beaded bag hidden in the discreet container.
"Daddy is right, Crookshanks." Hermione addressed her cat softly while scratching his neck. "You'd better go out there and see if we have any deliveries from Padfoot."
The half-Kneazle gave out a low growl but seemed to understand his mistress' order. Hermione smiled at the cat as he jumped off the bed and disappeared through an invisible hole in the wall. The smile fell off her face when she looked up, meeting Severus' dark eyes piercing down at her.
"What?" Her eyes widened in confusion. "Why are you looking at me like that?"
"What did you just say to him?" He asked in a cool voice. If Hermione hadn't known the wizard better, she wouldn't have picked up the tension behind his words.
"I said he should listen to you and go out there, in case if Sirius has any messages for us," she frowned at his question.
"How did you address me when you were talking to the cat?" He narrowed his eyes.
Hermione blinked at the wizard, clearly surprised by the question. After a short moment she broke into a quiet chuckle. "Oh... I'm sorry... You mean calling you 'daddy'? Well I've always been calling myself his mommy since I got him years ago. I thought if I'm the mommy you're certainly the daddy." She felt quite uneasy when she noticed a strangely cold expression on the wizard's face. "Oh, come on, Severus..." She frowned. "You can't be angry just because of that, can you? It's just a nickname... Loads of people refer to themselves as mommy and daddy when they talk to their pets. What's wrong with that? It's not like..." She stopped in the middle of her sentence and drew a deep breath.
With her eyes fixed on her wringing hands Hermione carefully considered her words, and then she said in a soft voice. "I suppose I can't expect myself to be the only one doing the math. You're thinking about the same thing, aren't you? I've noticed you staring into space in the past few days, looking awfully preoccupied. You must have also worked it out that this is about the time when Toby came to us... well the other us in this other world." She let out a sigh, but didn't look up at him. "Yes, I still think of him all the time. It's hard not to when you have a son for such a big part of your life and then to suddenly have him vanished from the world around you," she swallowed a lump in her throat. "But I also understand why you may not be ready. You have made it quite clear to me when we... did it for the first time."
"You don't understand anything," he closed his eyes and shook his head, his hands balled up into fists. "It's more than what you think..." He got abruptly up on his feet and began to walk away from the bed.
"Well, then tell me what else is there!" She looked up at him through her tears. "Why are you so angry just from the slightest implication of the idea of...?"
"I saw him." His voice was so low, Hermione almost missed it. "The boy..."
"Where?" Hermione sat up straight and reached for Severus' sleeve. "Where is he?"
Shaking his head slowly Severus replied through clenched teeth. "I saw him in my dreams."
Hermione stared at the back of the wizard's slightly slumped shoulders and took back her hand. "It's all in your head Severus. Toby is not how you think he is. You must have made up an image of some terribly spoiled brat or arrogant child in your dreams. It's okay if you're not ready for the idea. But please don't make up some unreasonable qualities about Toby. He's our son. He's not..."
"I didn't make him up in my dreams!" He cut her off and slowly turned around to face her. "It was Io. She showed me your dreams, and the memories you had about him... about... our... son."
Hermione broke into a teary smile. "So it really was him! You did see him! Isn't he a wonderful child?"
The frown between Severus' brows only deepened. After a long pause he only nodded, but didn't say anything.
"What's the matter then?" Hermione frowned. "Why do you have to look so miserable about that discovery?"
"There are also other things I learned from the moonstone spirit." He ran his hands through his hair and took a few steps further away from her. Without looking at her he began his explanation. "From what I gathered, the only way for you to be able to access the full power of the moonstone is to have you physically become a part of the Prince family blood line. The only way to accomplish that would be for you to carry my child. That must be what happened in this other world, where you somehow commanded the pendant to send you away to the future when you were pregnant with the boy." He let out a miserable sigh and turned his head slightly her way. "Don't you see, Hermione? You've left me once. You'll leave me again, in this world."
"No!" Hermione's eyes widened as she tried to make sense of the information. She got out of the bed and ran to his side. "Wait, wait... What are you talking about? I don't want to leave you. Don't make me leave you!"
"I don't know what happened in the other world," he stared into the distance. "But I must have done something terribly wrong. I must have driven you away. And I'm probably going to repeat the same mistake again. Isn't this just blasted fantastic?" He laughed bitterly. "For the longest time I had no choice, having to take whatever that meddling old coot shoved at me. Now when I finally have a choice, they are equally rotten: I either have to live fearing for your safety, or fearing you will leave me."
"Can you please slow down here, Severus?" Hermione took a deep breath and tried to clear her head. "Give me a little time to catch up... What are you talking about? Don't get so far ahead of me, please. My head is still at our discussion where you saw Toby. So I take that you have nothing against him?"
Severus let out a huff, but he shook his head quietly. "No."
"And then there is this whole idea about accessing the moonstone's full power." She stated, as if trying to grasp a new theory she had just read from a book. "It sure sounds like a protection charm added to a necklace. But why would I have to have that to begin with?"
"I need you to have it! I need to protect you!" Severus let out an impatient growl before rolling his eyes. "I can't let you go out there following that Potter brat without any protection again! I can't bear the thought of anything going wrong this time. It'll only get worse. The Dark Lord was furious about the loss of Bellatrix Lestrange. He's going to mobilize every Death Eater and every Snatcher in Britain to try to find you. I can't let that happen! I can't bear it!"
"But that doesn't mean I have to count on the moonstone, Severus!" Hermione turned the wizard around by his shoulders and reached up for his face, desperately trying to calm him. "We will think of other ways. We'll fight back before he can get to us. I wouldn't want us to even think of Toby as a solution for my safety! Merlin! That idea itself just sounds terrible! I want our baby, Severus, but not for that purpose."
Heaving a deep sigh, Severus pulled the witch into his arms. "I'm sorry," he murmured. "I didn't mean it like that. I just don't know, Hermione. I don't know what to do. It's almost like I'm once again in a corner. I don't want to force you into any commitment. But I am also very concerned about your safety. And I really, really, don't want to lose you."
"Then don't," She whispered back into his ear. "Don't lose me." She wrapped her arms around his shoulders and held him for a very long time. She kept her eyes closes as she listened to him taking deep breaths, clearly trying to calm the raging emotions that coursed through him. After a long pause she said, "I'm only happy that you had a glimpse of what a wonderful child your son will be. We don't need to rush into anything. Take your time. When you're ready, I'll be here. And I will never leave you. It's a promise."
He touched her forehead with his and closed his eyes, slowly taking in her words. When he opened his eyes again he reached down and kissed the witch on the lips. "I didn't mean to upset you," he sighed. "It's probably not helping your recovery to get you into a fight."
"You can hardly call that a fight," she chuckled. "We've done a lot worse before I convinced you to give our relationship a try, remember? You did make me cry quite a few times."
"Will you be always remembering that? Do you intend to collect the interest on your tears?" He closed his eyes and sighed, "I'm sorry."
She answered him with a small kiss. "Don't be. I'm glad you told me about it. When did you have that dream?"
"The night you first got here. I probably held you too tight in my arms," he shrugged.
"And it took you over a week to talk to me about this?" She arched her brows with the question. Running her hands down his arms she said, "Remember what I told you about my regrets from my life in that other world? Although I couldn't remember much, I did sense a great misunderstanding between us before we were separated in that timeline. Promise me, Severus, that you'll tell me about things like this in the future. Don't bottle it all up inside. You shouldn't have to carry the entire burden alone. It's our decision, and we'll deal with it together. I don't want to ever leave you. Let's not allow that to happen by never letting any misunderstanding to get between us."
Nodding quietly, Severus gave the witch a weak smile. "All right," he said. "I'll never keep secrets from you. That's a promise."
She answered him with a bright smile and a kiss. With her eyes closed she followed his lead and took a few steps backwards. She let out a sigh as he lowered her into the bed. Just as Hermione began to undo the top buttons of the wizard's coat, they felt a slight dip on the end of the bed. Looking up in surprise, they found a pair of golden eyes glaring at them. Crookshanks trotted proudly across the bed and sat down before them, presenting a small roll of parchment dangling down his neck.
"Insufferable," Severus growled, but went ahead and quickly untied the message from the cat's collar.
Hermione hovered closely over the wizard as he unrolled the parchment, revealing an unsigned message from a source they both knew too well:
"Owls never tell the entire story. Thought you might want to know that the beast is quite happy now that he's flying north with the bird. Padfoot requires to visit you in the castle. Will wait at the gate after dark tomorrow night."
"What is this all about?" Hermione wondered out loud.
"I suppose he can't live up to the name of a Marauder if he doesn't rob a bank." Was Severus' dark reply.
The morning paper reported an astounding break-in at Gringotts, with a front page photo showing a goblin representative from the bank assuring the crowd that nothing had been stolen from the vaults due to the "intensive enchantments put on by the prestigious goblin bankers". However, even the Carrows were whispering to each other that the paper wasn't telling the entire truth - after all, having the entrance hall and the roof torn down was not the same as the attempted robbery at an already emptied vault a few years ago. Something had definitely been taken away.
Hermione was getting more and more anxious by night fall. "Why do you think Sirius wants to come to Hogwarts?" She couldn't stop pacing the floor by the fireplace.
"We'll find out soon enough." Sitting in the sofa by the fireplace, Severus looked up from his research notes. "Would you please sit down? You're making me dizzy."
But Hermione's anxiety only got worse when Severus didn't return for over an hour after leaving for the gate later that night. She was finally able to let out a relieved sigh when the wizard poked his head through the green flames.
"Black is here in my office," he told Hermione. "Would you like to join us? I've warded all of the entrances."
Hermione stepped through the green flames and entered the office that belonged to the Headmaster of Hogwarts. She threw herself into Severus' arms. "What took you so long?" She cried.
"Have you ever tried to wrap a dog in the invisibility cloak?" Severus replied coolly. "It's nearly impossible not to have some part of the garment tangled with one of those four legs across the grounds."
Turning her attention to the opposite side of the room Hermione caught the surprised expression on Sirius' face. She smiled at the sight and greeted the wizard with a small nod. "Sirius. How have you been?"
The Marauder was clearly not prepared to see the affection displayed before him. Clearing his throat slightly uncomfortably, Sirius chuckled. "Merlin's beard! All along I thought the cat was exaggerating... Hermione... I don't know what to say!"
"You can say you're happy for me," the young witch's smile broadened as she tightened her hold on her wizard's arm.
"Now you saw her with your own eyes, would you drop your suspicion that I've been imprisoning your godson's best friend? You don't have to say it, Black. I know what must be on your mind," Severus glared at the Marauder. "We don't have all day to visit. You said you needed my help tonight to find something. What is it that you are after?"
Looking at the pair for a long moment Sirius nodded to his apparent internal conclusion. "Right, let's get to business. I take it that you saw the news this morning. We were able to free the dragon from Gingotts' last night. Solfryd took off back north with that miserable beast. I expect her to put in a good word for us and will bring her father's troops back when she returns."
"When will that be?" Hermione couldn't contain her excitement. She had been eager to meet the dragonrider since Severus told her about the foreign animagus.
"That depends," a small frown crawled up between Sirius' brows. "She said she would not risk her people's safety if we don't have a solid plan for a battle. Harry brought us all up to date in the last few days. Yes, Remus, Bill, Kingsley and I have been meeting with Harry almost every day since we got to Shell Cottage. We were able to narrow down the last two horcruxes, one being You-Know-Who's snake, and the other being something with significance to the Ravenclaw House."
Hermione looked up at Severus and the two exchanged a subtle notion. "Ravenclaw House?" Severus narrowed his eyes. "It can't be the lost diadem, can it?"
"How did you guess it?" Sirius let out a gasp. "You're not even a Ravenclaw!"
"Spending nearly twenty years inside the castle does offer some useless knowledge," the Slytherin smirked.
"If we knew you had a clue I would have come straight to you!" Sirius exclaimed. "We almost couldn't figure it out until Solfryd overheard our conversation. She's apparently well-traveled in the entire European continent, and had heard of the lost diadem being taken back to Hogwarts when she was in a small Albanian wizarding village. She was the one who suggested that the diadem was one of the horcruxes hidden by You-Know-Who here at the school."
"The Room of Requirement!" Hermione let out a gasp. "That must be it! The school keeps track of everything within the castle walls; but no one has access to the things hidden in that room! Harry told us last year that he found all sorts of things hidden in that room. It's practically a secret storage!"
"That's what Harry was telling us, too," Sirius nodded in agreement. "I suppose that's the reason for my visit tonight."
"But that room is full of dunderheads these days," Severus huffed. "They thought they were all so clever, hiding inside that come and go room. Most of the staff is well aware of their little gatherings. They should count their blessings that the Dark Lord has assigned two dimwitted Death Eaters to be his eyes in the school. They are probably the only ones other than Filch and Hagrid who don't know about the dunderheads' secret meeting place."
"That's quite the reason why I need your help, Snape," Sirius arched a brow at the Headmaster of Hogwarts. "I am also aware of the little gatherings happening in that room. Aberforth has been working with Neville to maintain a communication channel between the students and the Order. I could have entered the school from The Hog's Head Inn. But thank me later, Snape, I'm working hard to keep your profile low here. As I have promised, not even Harry knows what's been going on with you two. He only thinks I have some secret contact in Hogsmeade helping me tonight."
"If you don't plan on dying from suffocation, I strongly recommend that you don't hold your breath waiting for me to express my gratitude," Severus suggested coolly. He gave the Marauder a long look before saying, "I guess you've come to the right person. It's probably only appropriate to call for an assembly after the disturbing news about Gringotts. I'll summon all of the students to meet me at the Great Hall. That'll take about fifteen minutes. Since it is important to warn the students about the terrible influence of Undesirable Number One, I suspect the assembly could use up a whole hour. Will that give you enough time to find it?"
"I'll take whatever I can get," Sirius smirked. "I'm flexible."
Severus rolled his eyes and let out a snort. Before he could say anything however, the Gargoyle guarding his office suddenly announced, "Professor McGonagall requires to speak to the Headmaster."
"Should we let Minerva in with our secrets?" Sirius arched a brow in excitement.
"No," Severus shook his head. "Not now. You bloody Gryffindors are all too lousy about subtlety. I still need her to play along. This must be about those two first-years in detention with Carrow."
"Let me in Snape! This has gone too far...!" They heard the angry voice of the Head of Gryffindor House coming from the other side of the door.
"Hurry up you two. Go through my rooms. Give it twenty minutes before you leave for the diadem." Severus ushered Hermione and Sirius quickly into the green flames, before unwarding his office door.
On the other side of the floo, Sirius let out a low whistle as he gaped around Severus' living room. "Merlin! I've always thought that greasy git lived in a hole. This is a nice place!"
"Don't even pretend you know him, Sirius," Hermione was clearly offended by the wizard's comment.
"Oh... I'm sorry. Didn't mean to call him that. Just you see... Hermione, old habits die hard." Sirius smirked at the young witch. "We got a little history going back to our school days."
"A history that made quite a damaging impact," Hermione countered sternly. "That history he had to live through when he was a student at Hogwarts, Sirius, was wrong."
The Marauder's eyes widened as he studied the witch before him. "You... know about that? I didn't think Snape would ever mention those not so glamorous days to anyone."
Feeling anger quickly boiling inside of her Hermione narrowed her eyes. "How dare you even talk about it like that, as if it was his fault that he was bullied!"
"He told you about us?" Sirius drew in a deep breath. "Did he bitch and moan about what we did to him?"
"Not like that," Hermione spat. "But I know all about it. We don't keep secrets between us."
Blinking at the angry witch before him Sirius couldn't find his voice for a long moment. After a long pause he finally swallowed and said. "I'm sorry, most sincerely. I'm not proud of what I did. It was very immature of me." He let out a sigh as he noticed there was no change in the witch's icy glare. "I know there can never be excuses for that sort of behavior. But I'd feel a lot better if you'd hear me out."
Hermione regarded the wizard before her skeptically. She didn't say anything in reply, but only nodded, gesturing Sirius to continue.
"I've been giving it some thinking in the past few weeks, after I found out about what Snape had been doing and well, also about the two of you. For the longest time I couldn't understand what you see in him. But then, I took a step back and said to myself, why do I hate the git so much! Pardon my language, but that's really what I said to myself. You see, I took a dislike to Snape since the first time we met him on the train. I never bothered thinking about the reason. The events from the past couple of years really opened my eyes, and forced me to start rethinking about the past. The best explanation I can come up with about my unforgivable behavior is that I was angry at the time. I was angry at almost everyone in my family. I needed an outlet for my anger; and Snape became the scapegoat of all the Slytherins in my eyes."
"Not all Slytherins are evil!" Hermione retorted. "Just like not all Gryffindors are heroes. Look at Peter Pettigrew! Your own anger issues and personal opinion about the Slytherin House doesn't give you the excuse to be a bully!"
"That's what I meant by unforgivable," the wizard sighed.
Neither one of them spoke for a long time. Finally, Sirius broke the silence. "Hermione," he looked up at her tentatively. "He probably won't listen to anyone but you. Can you talk to him for me? And let him know that I'm sorry?"
The witch considered the request quietly for a long moment, before giving the wizard a small smile. "I appreciate what you just said to me; but you'll have to apologize to him yourself. After all you put him through, he deserves that much."
TBC
Happy Thanksgiving! =)